230 All Is in Vain Away From God’s Words
1 I ponder God’s words and earnestly reflect on myself. God was showing me grace by giving me the chance to do a duty, and yet I’ve showed off and testified to myself at every turn to make people think highly of me. When my work bore a little fruit, I even changed the way I walked and talked. I professed to give all glory to God but kept count of my own contributions. I always believed in my gifts but didn’t genuinely pray to God. Not seeking the truth in all things, I hit wall after wall. I have only seen how pathetic and in need I am after falling into darkness. Oh, God! At last, I know that I can do nothing without You.
2 I never knew the importance of principles in handling matters. I always felt that gifts were sufficient to do anything well. Now, at last, I have experienced that away from God’s words, all is in vain. Relying on gifts in work without seeking the truth is certain to fail. Without a heart that submits to and loves God, the performance of duty is futile. I went against my conscience and stole glory from God, truly without shame—I even showed off and paraded myself. How is that having a God-fearing heart? Not pursuing the truth, insisting on my own way—how could I not stumble? Oh, God! Your judgment has brought me to know Your righteous disposition.
3 Though I am so rebellious, God still forgives me and treats me with grace. God’s love and mercy make me feel greater regret and indebtedness. I am so paltry and lowly, just a speck of dust. If I can perform the duty of a created being, I ought to exert my utmost to repay God. I hate that in the past I performed my duty without seeking the truth. I lost so many chances to be perfected, which truly wounded God’s heart. Only after being steeped in bitterness did I learn what a treasure the truth is. I am willing to give my all to pursue the truth, accept God’s judgment, and be cleansed. I’ll offer up all of myself to do my duty well to comfort God’s heart.