I

Though I attended meetings and read God’s words, I paid no attention to practicing the truth.

When I forsook and expended a bit, I thought I possessed the truth reality.

I thought I had accrued some merit by suffering a bit in my duties.

I thought I could surely obtain God’s rewards and blessings.

As I experienced the judgment and chastisement of God’s words, I woke all at once.

I believed in God for many years without knowing Him, and I still made deals with Him.

I was devoid of conscience and reason, and my actions broke God’s heart.

Finally, I saw that without pursuing the truth, there was no way for my corruption to be cleansed.

II

God’s expression of the truth is entirely for the sake of cleansing and saving man,

but I didn’t understand His painstaking intention at all.

I used the opportunity to do my duty to pursue status and reputation.

In work or sermons, I often boasted emptily and made a show of myself.

I was hypocritical like the Pharisees, but I thought I was spiritual.

Being able to preach spiritual theory doesn’t mean one has the truth reality.

I only saw myself clearly by eating and drinking God’s words and understanding the truth.

Without God’s judgment I don’t know how far I would have fallen.

III

After experiencing God’s judgment and trials, I have finally come to understand

that working with fervor but without pursuing the truth is all in vain.

I acted and spoke according to my own will and did not seek the truth.

Without fear or submission toward God, I will still resist Him.

No matter how much good behavior I have done, it isn’t the same as a change in my life disposition.

I’m a hypocrite who lacks reality, I do not deserve to live in God’s presence.

God’s kingdom is holy—how could it allow corrupt people to enter?

I resolve to pursue the truth and live out true human likeness.