By Chen Mo, China

I was born into an intellectual family. My parents always taught me that “Other pursuits are small, books excel them all,” “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies,” and “Stand out above the rest and bring honor to your ancestors.” I accepted these thoughts and ideas into my heart, and always worked hard to strive toward them. I wanted to change my destiny through acquiring knowledge, and believed that if I got into college I would have a respectable job. I would be able to sit in an office without doing hard physical work, and people would look up to me. However, things did not go as I wished, and I did not get into college. Later, I became a worker in a cement products factory. After I got married, my mother-in-law despised me because I was an ordinary worker, and often made things difficult for me. She would say I was nothing but a lousy worker. I didn’t dare to say a word in response when my mother-in-law said these mocking and derogatory things, and I felt very sad. I decided that I would study academic subjects while raising my child, so that after getting into college I could become an official and my mother-in-law would no longer look down on me.

In 1986, I finally took the college entrance examination and obtained an associate degree just as I’d hoped. After graduation, I returned to the factory and became an official there. Later, I was promoted to director of the feed sub-plant. My classmates and colleagues all admired me very much, saying I was a powerful woman, and all my relatives and friends praised me. When I walked down the street, those who knew me would warmly greet me. My mother-in-law’s attitude also changed from before, and she would always have a smile on her face when talking to me. She would even boast about my abilities to the neighbors. I was finally able to hold my head high. I couldn’t help but sigh, “There is such a difference between having status and not having status! Without knowledge and status, you can only be a lower-class person looked down upon by others.” As I basked in other people’s praise, it occurred to me that I still had a responsibility: I had to cultivate my son properly, so that, like me, he would acquire more knowledge and get into college. Then, in the future, he would surpass me, be able to pursue a career in government, achieve greater power and status, stand out from the rest, and honor our ancestors. Then, as his mother, I could also bask in his reflected glory. When my son reached middle school, I used my connections to get him into the best school, often told him to study hard, encouraged him to be ambitious, and taught him that only by getting into college could he get a good job and have a bright future. My son didn’t let me down, and his academic performance was always among the top six in his class. His class teacher told me, “You have to cultivate your son properly. He is very smart, and has the potential to get into Tsinghua or Peking University.” After hearing the teacher say this, I felt really happy, and thought, “My son is smart, and it won’t be a problem for him to get into a top university. Finding a good job in the future will be a piece of cake for him.” I had a successful career and my son was doing really well in school. This filled me with hope for a better future. However, what happened next was completely unexpected.

From the second half of 1995, the sub-plant I had contracted went from being profitable to losing money. I was extremely worried about this. On top of that, I got seriously ill with tuberculosis, and I was so weak that I couldn’t go to work anymore. Because I terminated the contract early, the factory did not pay me. At that time, my husband had been laid off for many years and had never been able to find a suitable job. After buying an apartment, our remaining savings were almost gone. My son was about to go to high school, which was expensive. Without a source of income, how could we continue to support him in his studies? Later, my husband asked me to set up a street stall with him to sell surplus goods. I was very distressed at that time and thought, “I was a respected factory director, but now I have fallen to the point of having to sell things on the street to make a living. If my colleagues from the factory or the people who know me see this, I will utterly lose face!” However, then I thought, “I might lose face now, but when my son graduates from university and becomes successful, he will bring me prestige. To save money for my son’s university education, it’s worth me losing some face and enduring a little suffering.”

In April 1998, I was fortunate to accept Almighty God’s work of the last days. That same year, my son started high school. I understood from God’s words that this stage of God’s work is His final work to save mankind, and that if people do not believe in God and do not accept His salvation, regardless of how much knowledge they acquire or how high their degree or status is, they will ultimately perish. But thoughts and ideas of pursuing knowledge to change one’s destiny were very deeply rooted in me, and I still hoped that my son would stand out above the rest and bring honor to our ancestors. Unexpectedly, when my son was in his first year of high school, he stopped wanting to study and wanted to join the army instead. I was surprised, and thought, “Being a soldier is a tough job. What potential for future development is there with that? Only by getting into university and earning a high degree can you find a good job. Only then will you have the opportunity to obtain a senior, well-paid official position and become a person of high standing.” I absolutely couldn’t let my son do what he wanted. Therefore, I tried to gently persuade him by saying, “Son, you are really clever. The teachers all said that you are a good candidate for Tsinghua or Peking University. There are just two years before the university entrance exam. If you drop out of school and join the army now, you will regret it for the rest of your life. When soldiers are discharged from the army, they are always classed as workers no matter what job they are assigned, and there is no room for development. You can only find a good job if you have a university degree. At the very least, you will get a desk job, something official, an established position. As long as you work hard, you will have many opportunities for promotion. You can only gain a foothold in this society if you have a successful career and status. Nowadays, competition in society is so fierce, and without knowledge and a degree, you will be an inferior person. I am telling you all this for your future prospects.” After repeated persuasion, he continued to attend school, albeit reluctantly. One morning, my husband saw that our son was unwilling to go to school and was dawdling at home, so he beat him. My son immediately ran away from home and we didn’t find him until very late that evening. I knew my child didn’t want to study and wanted to join the army, but I couldn’t let him. I tried every way I could to persuade him, and he eventually, though reluctantly, agreed to go to school. Although my son was frowning every day and didn’t even want to talk to us, I thought, “Whether you can understand it now or not, when you become famous and successful in the future, you will understand our painstaking intention.” Later, he was indeed admitted to university, and I was very happy. All my years of hoping had finally paid off. However, though I was happy, I was also worried about the cost of sending him to university. At that time, our family had no extra money to send him to university, so I sold the apartment that I had worked hard for half my life to buy to pay for my son’s tuition, and rented an undecorated apartment to live in. When my son was about to graduate, I paid someone 10,000 yuan to secure him a job in a bank. I made all the preparations for my son, and was just waiting for him to get his degree and start working at the bank. However, another unexpected thing happened.

One day in September, my son told me that he had dropped out of university in his final year. He didn’t pay his tuition fees, so he couldn’t get his degree. When I heard this news, I couldn’t believe my ears. Had I heard it wrong? However, when I saw my son’s composed expression, I knew it was true, and I couldn’t stop crying. I cried as I complained at and berated my son. I was so angry that I felt weak all over. I thought, “I have worked so hard over the years to create the conditions for him to go to university. I just hoped that he would be successful and bring honor to me as his mother. I can’t believe he did this. How will I face people from now on?” At the time, I really wanted to grab hold of a live wire and end it all. During that time, I didn’t want to eat, and I couldn’t sleep either. My mind was full of worries about my child’s future. “What should I do in the future?” I thought. “I’ve sold the apartment to support his education, and we don’t even have a stable place to live now. Half a lifetime of hard work is ruined.” Just when my pain was at its peak, I came before God and prayed that He would lead me out of my pain.

While seeking, I heard a hymn of God’s words: Man’s Fate Is Controlled by the Hands of God. “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite man always rushing and busying himself on his own behalf, he remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be a created being? In short, regardless of how God works, all His work is for the sake of man. Take, for example, the heavens and earth and all things that God created to serve man: The moon, the sun, and the stars that He made for man, the animals and plants, spring, summer, autumn and winter, and so on—all are made for the sake of man’s existence. And so, regardless of how God chastises and judges man, it is all for the sake of man’s salvation. Even though He strips man of his fleshly hopes, it is for the sake of purifying man, and the purification of man is done so that he may survive. The destination of man is in the hands of the Creator, so how could man control himself?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination). I listened to this hymn over and over again, and as I pondered God’s words, I understood that God is sovereign over and has ordained every person’s destiny. No matter how hard you try or how much you struggle, you can’t change your future or destiny; still less can you change the destiny of others. I thought back to the first half of my life. I wanted to change my destiny by acquiring more knowledge, but later, the factory suffered losses and I became ill. I didn’t have the energy to run the factory, and had no option but to resign. All this was really not up to me. I had taught my son by word and deed since he was young, hoping that he would go to university and become an official like I wanted him to. I struggled and sacrificed half a lifetime of blood, sweat, and tears to make this happen, but he didn’t do as I wanted, and in the end he never got his university degree. These facts gave me the realization that whether or not my son has a good future and destiny is not within my control. No matter how hard I struggle or how much I sacrifice, it is all in vain. Because I am just a tiny created being, God is sovereign over and ordains my fate and the fate of my son. I can’t even control my own destiny, yet I still wanted to control my son’s future and destiny. I was so ignorant and arrogant! The reason why I was in so much pain was that I had no understanding of God’s sovereignty at all, and couldn’t submit to it. When I understood this, I was willing to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements and stop complaining about my son. If he lives an ordinary life, then that is due to God’s sovereignty and ordination, and I should entrust him to God and let nature take its course.

Afterward I kept wondering: Why was I in so much pain when my son didn’t get a degree? Why did I attach so much importance to knowledge and degrees? What was the root cause of this? I read the words of God: “Some people think that knowledge is a precious thing in this world, and that the more knowledge they have, the greater their status and the better they are, the more distinguished and cultured, so they cannot do without knowledge. Some people think if you study hard and enrich your knowledge then you’ll have it all. You’ll have status, money, a good job and a good future; they believe that without knowledge it’s impossible to live in this world. If someone has no knowledge, then everyone looks down on them. They’d be discriminated against, with no one willing to associate with them; those without knowledge can only live on the lowest rungs of society. Thus do they worship knowledge, and regard it as extremely lofty and important—even more so than the truth. … however you look at it, this is one aspect of human thoughts and views. There is an ancient saying: ‘Read ten thousand books, travel ten thousand miles.’ But what does this mean? It means that the more you read, the more knowledgeable and prosperous you’ll be. You’ll be highly regarded by all groups of people and will have status. Everyone harbors these kinds of thoughts in their heart. If someone is unable to gain a college diploma due to unfortunate family circumstances, they will regret it for their entire life, and be determined that their children and grandchildren should study more, earn a university degree, or even go study abroad. This is everyone’s thirst for knowledge, and how they think, view, and handle it. Many parents, therefore, will spare no effort or expense to nurture their children, even going so far as to squander the family fortune, and all so their children go study. And what of the lengths some parents go to in disciplining their children? Only three hours of sleep permitted a night, continual forced study and reading, or making them emulate the ancients and tie their hair to the ceiling, denying them sleep altogether. These kinds of stories, these tragedies, have always happened from ancient times to the present, and they are the consequences of mankind’s thirst for and worship of knowledge” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Path of Practice Toward Changing One’s Disposition). God’s words touched my heart. What God exposed was precisely the perspective within me. I had been bound by satanic thoughts and ideas such as “Other pursuits are small, books excel them all,” “Read ten thousand books, travel ten thousand miles,” and “Knowledge can change your fate,” and particularly worshiped knowledge. I believed that knowledge would lead to a bright future, where you could be a superior person and be admired by others; only then would life be valuable. I believed that without knowledge or a degree, you would have to toil hard and live a life of inferiority, be looked down upon by others, and remain at the bottom of society your whole life, never able to get ahead. I believed that with knowledge, you could have everything, so I didn’t give up trying to gain knowledge, even after getting married and having a child. When I graduated from college and returned to the factory, I became an official immediately, and was then promoted step by step, entrusted with important roles. Before long, our family of three moved into a spacious apartment, and everyone who saw me looked at me with envy and greeted me proactively; the employees in the factory all respected me very much. I obtained the fame and gain I wanted, and I believed that all this was brought by the knowledge I acquired through hard study and the degree I obtained. Therefore, I became even more convinced that knowledge could change one’s destiny, and hoped that my son would get a high degree and become successful and famous in the future, so people would admire him and I could bask in his reflected glory. When my son told me that he wanted to join the army, I didn’t ask him what he really thought. Instead, I just believed that there would be no good future for him after joining the army and he would not be admired by others, so I forced him to go to university. To ensure that my son could attend university, I sold the apartment I had worked for half my life to buy. When I learned that my son didn’t pay his final year’s tuition and would not get a university degree, my hopes were utterly shattered, and I lived in complete despair. I just felt like ending it all. I had really been blinded by fame and gain. In fact, everyone’s destiny is in the hands of God, and cannot be changed just by acquiring knowledge. I thought of my neighbor, Section Chief Wang, who has little education but is now a section chief in the Personnel Bureau; on the other hand, a female classmate of mine from the year below was admitted to Peking University but couldn’t find a suitable job for many years after graduation. Nowadays, there are university graduates without jobs everywhere, and even many postgraduates cannot find formal jobs. It’s clear that the idea that “Knowledge can change your fate” is mistaken, and is completely untenable. It is contrary to the truth. Although I believed in God, I did not understand the truth and had no ability to discern; I didn’t know that fame and gain are ways for Satan to seduce and devour people. Thanks to the exposure in God’s words, I finally came to my senses, and prayed to God silently in my heart, “Dear God, thank You for Your words, which enlightened me and enabled me to discern Satan’s thoughts and ideas. I don’t want to be bound by these thoughts and ideas anymore. May You lead me to take the path of pursuing the truth.”

I read more of God’s words: “Some people will say that learning knowledge is nothing more than reading books or learning a few things that they do not already know so as not to lag behind the times or be left behind by the world. Knowledge is only learned so they can put food on the table, for their own future, or to provide the basic necessities. Is there any person who would endure a decade of hard study just for the basic necessities, just to resolve the issue of food? No, there are none like this. So why does a person suffer these hardships for all these years? It is for fame and gain. Fame and gain are waiting for them in the distance, beckoning them, and they believe that only through their own diligence, hardships and struggles can they follow the road that will lead them to attain fame and gain. Such a person must suffer these hardships for their own future path, for their future enjoyment and to gain a better life” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique VI). “What does Satan use to keep man firmly within its control? (Fame and gain.) So, Satan uses fame and gain to control man’s thoughts, until all people can think of is fame and gain. They struggle for fame and gain, suffer hardships for fame and gain, endure humiliation for fame and gain, sacrifice everything they have for fame and gain, and they will make any judgment or decision for the sake of fame and gain. In this way, Satan binds people with invisible shackles, and, wearing these shackles, they have neither the strength nor the courage to throw them off. They unknowingly bear these shackles and trudge ever onward with great difficulty. For the sake of this fame and gain, mankind shuns God and betrays Him and becomes increasingly wicked. In this way, therefore, one generation after another is destroyed in the midst of Satan’s fame and gain. Looking now at Satan’s actions, are its sinister motives not utterly detestable? Maybe today you still cannot see through Satan’s sinister motives because you think one cannot live without fame and gain. You think that if people leave fame and gain behind, they will no longer be able to see the way ahead, no longer be able to see their goals, that their futures will become dark, dim and gloomy. But, slowly, you will all one day recognize that fame and gain are massive shackles that Satan uses to bind man. When that day comes, you will thoroughly resist Satan’s control and thoroughly resist the shackles Satan uses to bind you. When the time comes that you wish to throw off all the things Satan has instilled in you, you will then make a clean break with Satan and you will truly loathe all that Satan has brought to you. Only then will mankind have a real love and yearning for God” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique VI). What God exposes in these passages is so practical. The reason behind people’s pursuit of knowledge is to obtain fame and gain. People work hard and suffer hardships for fame and gain and are even willing to pay any price for it. I saw that Satan uses knowledge to seduce people, and uses fame and gain to control them, so that they are corrupted by it without realizing. I was exactly like this. I recalled how my father taught me from childhood that mastering more knowledge would make me a superior person, and I could just use my intellect instead of toiling hard. Without knowledge, I could only be an inferior person and do tough manual labor. The teachers also taught us to have lofty aspirations, and pursue standing above the rest and bringing honor to our ancestors. Before I knew it, I accepted these thoughts and ideas. In order to get the fame, gain and status I wanted, I was willing to endure any hardship and pay any price. Not only did I pursue these things myself, I also forced my son to pursue them. When my son didn’t get his degree, my dreams were suddenly shattered, and I was in so much agony that I wanted to escape from it by dying. The root cause of all this was that I had been controlled by ideas of pursuing fame and gain instilled in me by Satan. Not only did this bring great pain to me, it also harmed my son both mentally and physically. Satan put the invisible shackles of fame and gain on me, making me constantly pursue fame and gain, fight, work hard, and exhaust myself for them physically and mentally. I had no ability to break free from this. I thanked God for setting up this environment to save me, forcing me to come before Him to seek the truth, gain some discernment of Satan’s methods of harming people, and realize that pursuing fame and gain is not the right path in life: It can only lead me to betray God and stray far away from Him. I could be misled and bound by fame and gain no longer. I had to stand properly in my position as a created being and submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements.

Later, I told my sister about my state, and she looked up a passage of God’s words for me: “First of all, are these requirements and approaches that parents have regarding their children right or wrong? (They are wrong.) So, ultimately, where does the main culprit stem from when it comes to these approaches that parents use on their children? Isn’t it the parents’ expectations for their children? (Yes.) Within the subjective consciousness of parents, they envisage, plan, and determine various things about their children’s futures, and as a result, they produce these expectations. … Their parents are pinning hopes on their children entirely on the basis of an adult’s way of looking at things, as well as an adult’s views, perspectives, and preferences about matters of the world. Isn’t this subjective? (Yes.) If you were to put it nicely, you could say that it is subjective, but what is it really? What is another interpretation of this subjectivity? Is it not selfishness? Isn’t it coercion? (It is.) You like this or that job and such-and-such career, you enjoy being established, living a glamorous life, serving as an official, or being wealthy in society, so you make your children do those things too, be that kind of person too, and walk that kind of path—but will they enjoy living in that environment and engaging in that work in the future? Are they suited to it? What are their destinies? What are God’s arrangements and rulings regarding them? Do you know these things? Some people say: ‘I don’t care about those things, what matters are the things that I, as their parent, like. I’ll pin hopes on them based on my own preferences.’ Isn’t that so selfish? (It is.) It is so selfish! To put it nicely, it’s very subjective, it’s calling all of the shots themselves, but what is it, in reality? It is very selfish! These parents don’t consider their children’s caliber or talents, they don’t care about the arrangements that God has for each person’s destiny and life. They don’t consider these things, they just force their own preferences, intentions, and plans onto their children through wishful thinking” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (18)). After reading this passage of God’s words, I suddenly came to my senses. In the past, I had thought that everything I did was for the sake of my son’s future and destiny, and hadn’t understood it in terms of my selfish nature. Through the exposure in God’s words, I finally understood that the intention behind my actions was always to sate my desire for fame, gain, and status. Because I liked power and status, the prestige of being an official, and being esteemed by others, I imposed my own preferences and desires on my son. I hoped that he would study hard and stand out in the future, getting a high official position and a good salary, and I could bask in his reflected glory. Everything I had done was for the sake of my own ambitions and desires, and I hadn’t considered my son’s preferences and wishes at all. When he said he didn’t want to go to university and wanted to join the army, I did my best to persuade him out of it, and forced him to go to university against his wishes. My goal in this was to make him embark on an official career and obtain power and status so that I would gain prestige as well. On the surface, everything I did was for the sake of my son’s future and destiny. I gave my all to cultivate my son. However, in essence, this was all to satisfy my own desire for status, wanting to enjoy the respect and admiration of more people through my son, and enjoy a richer material life. I finally saw clearly that everything I had done was not for my son’s good at all. It was all to satisfy my own ambitions and desires. My nature was too selfish, vile and ugly! My son actually didn’t want to pursue a career in government. He once said to me, “Mom, just let it be. I am simply not cut out to be an official. If you want to gain a foothold in officialdom in this society, you have to be able to wine, dine, flatter, and deceive. You also need the right family background and connections, and to be cruel and nasty. I don’t have any of these. It’s good to just be an ordinary person.” When I thought back to what my son said, it was very realistic, but at the time, I didn’t care what he thought, and, based on my wishful thinking, I forced him to go to university and take the path of pursuing fame and gain. I thought of my eldest sister’s son, who is deputy director of the Bureau of Industry and Commerce. He once said to me, “Once you enter officialdom, you aren’t in control of yourself any longer. People scheme and plot against each other, and you can’t tell anyone what’s on your mind or get too close to them. You don’t know what you might say that will offend someone. You might not want to hurt others, but they will still stab you behind your back. You have to live your life with one eye on people’s expressions. Life in officialdom is exhausting!” I also realized one thing—becoming an official is not a good thing. Officialdom is like a big dyeing tank, and if my son had gone in there as I wanted him to, then after a decade or so he would have been stained with all kinds of bad habits despite himself. He would have become slippery, deceitful, and hypocritical; he would have lied, cheated, pursued fame and gain, competed with others, and might even have done some evil things. Then, he would not be able to lead a normal and peaceful life anymore. That would cause him huge harm and endless pain in body and mind. My son didn’t want to be an official, and just wanted to be an ordinary person. Isn’t that a good thing? Now he has a formal job, and his monthly salary can basically cover his family’s living costs. He does not oppose my belief in God and is very willing to lend a hand when the church needs his help with things. When I see my son smiling and carefree every day, I should be happy for him.

After this experience, I increasingly realize that God is sovereign over and ordains what kind of work each person does and how they make a living. As God says: “God has ordained that a man will be an ordinary worker, and in this life, he will only be able to earn some basic wages to feed and clothe himself, but his parents insist on him becoming a celebrity, a wealthy person, a high official, planning and arranging things for his future before he reaches adulthood, paying various kinds of so-called prices, attempting to control his life and future. Isn’t that foolish? (It is.)” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (18)). This passage of God’s words made me realize that I was not merely foolish: I was completely and utterly idiotic! All the suffering I had endured was my own fault. When I let go of my expectations for my son, stopped fighting against destiny, stopped walking the path of pursuing fame and gain and resisting God, and was able to, as a created being, accept, face, and experience God’s sovereignty with a positive and submissive attitude, I saw that God’s arrangements are wonderful. Thank God!