By Xiaohe, China

Almighty God says: “Because people do not know God’s orchestrations and God’s sovereignty, they always face fate defiantly and with a rebellious attitude, and they always want to cast off God’s authority and sovereignty and the things fate has in store, hoping in vain to change their current circumstances and alter their fate. But they can never succeed and are thwarted at every turn. This struggle, which takes place deep in their souls, causes them profound pain, and this pain carves itself into their bones, and it simultaneously makes them fritter their lives away. What is the cause of this pain? Is it because of God’s sovereignty, or because a person was born unlucky? Obviously, neither is true. At bottom, it is caused by the paths people take, the ways they choose to live their lives. Some people may not have realized these things. But when you truly know, when you truly come to recognize that God has sovereignty over human fate, when you truly understand that everything God’s sovereignty and arrangements bring to you provides great benefit and protection, then you feel your pain gradually lighten, and your whole being gradually becomes relaxed, free, liberated” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). Whenever I see this passage of God’s words, I think of my previous experience of working hard. Because I didn’t understand God’s sovereignty, I always wanted to change my fate through my own efforts and live a respectable and prestigious life with both fame and gain, admired by others. I believed that with fame and gain I would have a happy life. After experiencing setbacks and failures again and again, I only had an awakening after I nearly died in a bus accident and realized how helpless and insignificant people are in the face of death, that no amount of money can buy life, that the pursuit of fame and gain only brought me pain and emptiness, and that only by choosing to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements and fulfilling my duty as a created being can I lead the most meaningful life.

I was born in the countryside, and when I was a kid, I saw my sister working in the laboratory of a mineral processing plant. Her working environment was comfortable and relaxed, and she could travel on business regularly. Every time she came home, she was dressed very fashionably and beautifully, and would bring back some local specialties from other regions. The people in the village all really admired her, and I envied her, thinking, “How great it would be if I could live such a respectable and prestigious life in the future!” As I graduated from junior high school, it just so happened that the mineral processing plant where my sister worked was recruiting, and so I went to work at the plant. Because I had a low level of education and no specialized skills, I could only work in the workshop. The noise of the machines in the workshop was deafening and dust flew everywhere. I carried dozens of kilograms of reagents up and down the stairs every day to fill up the reagents. Because I was allergic to the reagents, my hands and face were covered in a red rash. I also had to work shifts through the night, and after a few months, my face became sallow and pale. The heavy physical labor frequently left me utterly exhausted. I saw that my colleagues who had technical jobs enjoyed the best benefits and housing, as well as salaries several times higher than mine. They also often sat in the office, leisurely reading newspapers and drinking tea, and were dressed neatly, with a refined and gentle look. Then when I looked at myself, I felt like I was lower than them; I felt really inferior. I thought to myself, “I have no education and no skills, so I can only do hard labor. I really regret not studying hard before. If I had studied hard and got a diploma, then wouldn’t I be able to stand out from the crowd and lead an admirable and enviable life like them? We are all human beings, so why am I so unsuccessful? I don’t want to spend my whole life toiling in the workshop.” Later, I heard about an opportunity to take the vocational secondary school entrance examination through the plant. I gave up my rest time, getting up early and going to bed late to memorize books and do practice questions. After two years of hard work, I obtained the qualifications to attend a vocational school. Three years later, I got my diploma as I wished and became a skilled professional. I took off my greasy work clothes, and left the dusty workshop behind for an enviable office job. Looking at my colleagues who were still busy in the workshop, I thought to myself that my efforts over the past few years had not been in vain. I believed even more firmly in the idea that “One must endure the greatest hardships in order to become the greatest of men,” and that as long as I worked hard, I could live a leisurely, comfortable, decent, and prestigious life.

But when I arrived in the departmental office, I found that my colleagues not only had academic qualifications, but also professional titles. Though we did the same work, my salary was the lowest out of everyone’s. Moreover, without a professional title, I wouldn’t be eligible for housing allocation, official status, or promotion, and could be transferred back to the workshop at any time. If I wanted a raise and a promotion, I had to obtain an advanced professional title. After that, I bought exam materials on subjects such as accounting principles, advanced English, statistical principles, and so on. These were things I had never come across before, and it was really difficult for me to learn them. However, in order to gain a secure foothold in the departmental office, I had to try my best. Later, I put all my energy outside of work into studying. In order not to be disturbed, I even made the agonizing decision to hand over my one-year-old child to my parents. Due to a lot of stress at work and my poor educational background, I took the exam two years running but failed both times. My colleagues laughed at me, and my husband advised me not to retake the exam. But I refused to give up, and often stayed up late to study. To start off I had thyroid dysfunction, and needed long-term medication. Staying up late over a long period just made my immunity even worse. I had to have intravenous drips every couple of days, and when I felt really bad I even had to gasp for breath when walking. However, then I thought about how if I didn’t attain a professional title, I would lose any chance to get salary increases and promotions. Then wouldn’t all my efforts over the years have been in vain? How would I have the chance to stand out from the crowd in the future? Therefore, I just gritted my teeth and persevered. After three years of hard work, I finally obtained an intermediate professional qualification. With this “pass,” I was promoted to a middle-level cadre not long after. My salary also increased, as I was transformed from a worker into a cadre in an instant. I felt that my worth and status had improved; I can’t tell you how proud I was.

However, these good times did not last for long. After a few years, the plant’s profitability declined, and I was laid off. I was transformed from a cadre to a laid-off worker in an instant. I felt that the halo above my head and my bright future had disappeared in an instant, and I felt really lost. I was not willing to let my life be like this. At the time, I read in the newspapers that many people were starting their own businesses after being laid off and ended up as bosses and entrepreneurs, leading an enviable life. I believed that I could do what they could do. Therefore, I embarked on my own entrepreneurial journey, running a stall, selling snacks, promoting insurance, and so on. Although I made some money, I was involved in a car accident, and suffered a cervical spine injury. Soon after, my husband was also laid off, my parents fell ill and were hospitalized, and the little money our family had was all spent. Faced with these setbacks, I was unwilling to accept failure and still looked for opportunities. In 2004, I came into contact with the direct sales industry. I heard a manager share her entrepreneurial experience of her journey from mediocrity to success, and about how her sales team covered the whole country, how she earned hundreds of thousands of yuan per year…. My passions surged, and I joined the team without hesitation. I continuously studied how to sell products and develop my team, dreaming of one day being able to earn a lot of money, leading a rich and free life, and sharing my own entrepreneurial experiences with others. How glorious that would be!

Not long after, a relative preached God’s gospel of the last days to me. Through eating and drinking the words of God, I found out that God is the origin of all things, that the future destination and fate of mankind are in God’s hands, and that people can only have a good destiny if they worship God. Therefore, I accepted the work of Almighty God and began to participate in church life. However, at that time, I was completely focused on developing my sales team, and was afraid that attending too many gatherings would affect my sales. If my sales were low, my income would be low, and how could I even think about leading a prestigious and respectable life? Therefore, I dedicated most of my time to selling products and expanding my customer base, often missing gatherings. Even when I did attend gatherings, I always felt sleepy, and nothing went in at all. At first, I felt a little bit of self-reproach, but when I saw how the number of people in my team continued to grow under my painstaking management, how our sales were getting better and better, and how I was getting closer and closer to being a mid-level distributor, the little self-reproach there was in my heart faded. Later, I visited customers almost every day to sell products, and I took the team away on study trips every month, so I stopped attending gatherings. When my sisters came to my house to look for me, I hid away from them, and dedicated my body and heart to my career. In order to better develop customers, I learned various sales pitches. I induced customers to buy health products by talking about the dangers of diseases, and flattered customers to sell them cosmetics. I also talked about the prospects for direct sales and the attractive bonus system, and dressed myself up beautifully, using the persona of a successful person to attract customers to join my sales team. Afterward, I did feel a bit uneasy: Actually, my income was not stable at all, and it is not that easy to make money through direct sales. Was I not just painting a rosy picture to cheat people? But then I thought, “In the direct sales industry, everyone trains on sales pitches. How can you sell things if you are too honest? How would you make any money?” Therefore, I continued to use deceptive means to earn money. I often worked until one or two in the morning to make more money, leaving myself exhausted when I got home. I didn’t even have time to take care of my husband when he had surgery. He angrily said that I was heartless, and even asked for a divorce. My daughter, who was about to enter high school, became addicted to online games and her grades dropped, but I didn’t have any time to attend to her. The team was difficult to lead, there was trouble in my marriage, and my child was disobedient. All this left me exhausted and overwhelmed. I often thought, “Is this really the life I want?” However, the team was starting to improve and the wonderful life I wanted seemed just around the corner, so I continued to soldier forward. I struggled hard for two years like this. My team grew to nearly a hundred people, and our sales kept increasing. I became a mid-level distributor, with a monthly income of 6,000 to 7,000 yuan. I received praise from my leaders and admiration from those around me, and felt a great sense of accomplishment. Although there was an inexplicable emptiness in my heart afterward, when I thought about how if I became a high-level distributor I could earn hundreds of thousands of yuan per year, and be acclaimed by all, I found renewed motivation, and prepared to struggle toward the goal of becoming a high-level distributor. Unexpectedly, when I was taking the team on a study trip, the bus we were riding in collided with a truck, and I was knocked unconscious. When I woke up, I saw the vehicles overturned on the ground, and heard screams all around. Some people had blood all over their faces, and some were groaning in pain. I wanted to stand up, but my lower back hurt so much that I couldn’t get up. I just had to wait for the rescuers to lift us out of the bus. Seeing this tragic scene, I was terrified, “Will I become paralyzed since my lower back hurts so much? So many people on my team have been injured. If anything happens to anyone, how am I going to explain it to their family?” I felt extremely helpless. At this time, I thought of God and kept praying in my heart, “Dear God, save us …” After an examination, I was found to have compression fractures of three lumbar vertebrae. The doctor recommended conservative treatment. Looking back on it, even though I was sitting in the front of the bus I was not seriously injured. This was God’s mercy and protection of me, and I thanked God from the bottom of my heart. When I saw my good friend in the ward still in a coma after spinal fixation surgery, another older sister who had just had surgery for a broken tendon in her leg, and a girl in her twenties who had a pelvic injury and who the doctor said may never be able to have children, I realized how fragile human life is. Two days ago, we were still happily sharing what we had learned on the bus, but now we were all lying in hospital beds. Then I looked at myself, with my lumbar fracture. The doctor said I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself for two to three months. “What’s the point of earning more money if I lose my life now? I am so lucky just to be alive!” I thought.

Two months later, I was discharged from the hospital and returned home to recuperate. A sister came to visit me after learning that I had been in a bus accident, and found a passage of God’s word and read it to me. Almighty God says: “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite man always rushing and busying himself on his own behalf, he remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be a created being? In short, regardless of how God works, all His work is for the sake of man. Take, for example, the heavens and earth and all things that God created to serve man: The moon, the sun, and the stars that He made for man, the animals and plants, spring, summer, autumn and winter, and so on—all are made for the sake of man’s existence. And so, regardless of how God chastises and judges man, it is all for the sake of man’s salvation. Even though He strips man of his fleshly hopes, it is for the sake of purifying man, and the purification of man is done so that he may survive. The destination of man is in the hands of the Creator, so how could man control himself?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination). My sister said, “The destiny of man is in the hands of God, and no one can control their own destiny. Look at how you were busy scrabbling about for money all day long. This time it was God who protected you from serious injury. But have you ever thought that even if you make money, what’s the use of that money if you lose your life? We are fortunate to accept God’s work of the last days today, but you haven’t been gathering properly. Is this an attempt to avoid God’s salvation of you?” Although the sister’s words pierced me to the heart, they were also the facts. Looking back, when I got my diploma and professional title through self-study, I thought that everything after that would be plain sailing. But I didn’t expect that I would end up laid off and unemployed. I wasn’t ready to take this failure lying down. When I saw many people start their own businesses and stand out from the crowd, I also kept working hard and trying to start my own business. However, it all ended in failure. During this period, I experienced a car accident and suffered a cervical spine injury which almost paralyzed me. Before I had fully recovered, I jumped into direct sales again. I wanted to lead a good life through direct sales, but I didn’t expect that a bus accident would pop the bubble of all my hard work over the years, turning it into nothing. I realized that I really couldn’t control my own destiny, and that man’s destiny is in the hands of God. This accident might seem like a bad thing, but it was actually a good thing. It was God’s salvation of me. Otherwise, I would not have stopped pursuing fame and gain.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “The Almighty has mercy on these people who have suffered deeply; at the same time, He feels averse toward these people who don’t have any consciousness at all, as He has had to wait too long for an answer from people. He wishes to seek, to seek your heart and your spirit, and to bring you water and food, so that you awaken and you no longer thirst or hunger. When you are weary and when you feel something of the bleakness of this world, do not be lost, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival at any time” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Sighing of the Almighty). After reading God’s words, my heart felt warm, and I felt God’s love and mercy. I had heard the voice of God but could not resist the temptation of money, fame, and gain, and in order to earn more money and be a cut above, I didn’t want to attend gatherings. I even hid from my brothers and sisters when they came to my house to look for me. I had been so numb and rebellious, but God did not abandon me. I was sitting in the front seat when the bus accident happened, and suffered a great impact, but I was not seriously injured. Wasn’t this God’s protection? God also arranged for a sister to come to me and fellowship on the truth, so that I could understand God’s intention and turn to God. Wasn’t all this God showing mercy to me? God’s love is so great, but I was obsessed with pursuing fame and gain, hiding from God and staying far away from Him. My heart was too hardened, too devoid of conscience and reason. I was really unworthy of God’s salvation!

As soon as I had recovered enough that I was able to walk again, my leader called me and asked me to go back and manage the team. I thought to myself, “If I don’t manage the team I worked so hard to build, it will be disbanded. Now, sales are decreasing every month, and my income is also decreasing. If this goes on, won’t all my previous efforts have been in vain?” My heart started to waver. At this time, I read the words of God: “Since you believe in and follow God, you should offer everything to Him, and should not make personal choices or demands, and you should achieve the satisfaction of God’s intentions. Since you were created, you should submit to the Lord that created you, for you are inherently without dominion over yourself, and have no natural ability to control your own destiny. Since you are a person who believes in God, you should pursue sanctification and change” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Success or Failure Depends on the Path That Man Walks). “From the moment you come crying into this world, you begin to fulfill your responsibilities. For the sake of God’s plan and His ordination, you play your role and start your life’s journey” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God Is the Source of Man’s Life). From God’s words I understood that man was created by God. As a created being, I should submit to God, satisfy God, fulfill my responsibilities, and do my duty well. I thought about how I had spent most of my life in the pursuit of fame, gain, and status. In the end, I didn’t get what I wanted after all my hard work and suffering, and I almost lost my life. That I was now able to return to God was due to God’s mercy and protection, and I should repay God’s love. There are still many sincere believers who have not come before God, and I should preach the gospel to these people. This is my responsibility and my duty. Therefore, I decided not to develop the team anymore. I wanted to gather properly to eat and drink God’s words, and preach the gospel to testify to God. After that, I rejected my leader’s request and chose to do my duty with my brothers and sisters, actively preaching the gospel to those around me. Every day was fulfilling.

In 2012, I met a former colleague. I saw that she was already a high-level distributor, and was earning plenty of money. She had even bought a big house. She said, “As long as you come work with me, I will help you get your sales. You’ll have an annual salary of 100,000 yuan, no problem.” Seeing how she was making a lot of money and looked so young and beautiful, and how her new house was like a villa, I couldn’t help but start to waver, “Isn’t this exactly the life I want? I have experience and I am not any less intelligent than her, so it wouldn’t be difficult for me to make a comeback. It wouldn’t take much effort to achieve an annual salary of 100,000 yuan.” The temptation of profit made it impossible to quiet my heart, and I prayed to God, “Dear God, I know that believing in You requires me to attend gatherings and do my duty properly, but I still want to pursue fame and gain, and I feel very conflicted in my heart. Dear God, may You protect and lead me not to fall into Satan’s temptations.”

Later, I read the words of God: “When you repeatedly investigate and carefully dissect the various goals that people pursue in life and their myriad ways of living, you will find not one of them conforms to the Creator’s original intention with which He created humanity. All of them draw people away from the Creator’s sovereignty and care; they are all traps which cause people to become depraved, and which lead them to hell. After you recognize this, your task is to lay aside your old view of life, stay far from various traps, let God take charge of your life and make arrangements for you; it is to try only to submit to God’s orchestrations and guidance, to live without individual choice, and to become a person who worships God” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). “Satan uses fame and gain to control man’s thoughts, until all people can think of is fame and gain. They struggle for fame and gain, suffer hardships for fame and gain, endure humiliation for fame and gain, sacrifice everything they have for fame and gain, and they will make any judgment or decision for the sake of fame and gain. In this way, Satan binds people with invisible shackles, and, wearing these shackles, they have neither the strength nor the courage to throw them off. They unknowingly bear these shackles and trudge ever onward with great difficulty. For the sake of this fame and gain, mankind shuns God and betrays Him and becomes increasingly wicked. In this way, therefore, one generation after another is destroyed in the midst of Satan’s fame and gain. Looking now at Satan’s actions, are its sinister motives not utterly detestable? Maybe today you still cannot see through Satan’s sinister motives because you think one cannot live without fame and gain. You think that if people leave fame and gain behind, they will no longer be able to see the way ahead, no longer be able to see their goals, that their futures will become dark, dim and gloomy. But, slowly, you will all one day recognize that fame and gain are massive shackles that Satan uses to bind man. When that day comes, you will thoroughly resist Satan’s control and thoroughly resist the shackles Satan uses to bind you. When the time comes that you wish to throw off all the things Satan has instilled in you, you will then make a clean break with Satan and you will truly loathe all that Satan has brought to you. Only then will mankind have a real love and yearning for God” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique VI). From God’s words I understood that Satan uses fame and gain to corrupt people, and make us regard the pursuit of fame and gain as a positive thing, as a lifelong goal to struggle toward, constantly trying to escape from God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and ultimately shunning and betraying God. Fame and gain are traps set by Satan for people, and snares that lead people to fall into depravity. The reason why I couldn’t let go of fame and gain was that I had regarded satanic rules of survival such as “Man struggles upward; water flows downward” and “Stand out above the rest” as positive things. I had believed that only when people obtained fame and gain could they live a dignified and valuable life. I thought back to when I just graduated from school. In order to live a life like my sister’s, I buried my head in studying to get diplomas and professional titles. After being laid off, in order to live a good life and win people’s admiration, I attended direct selling training and learned to lie and cheat to get good sales. I would say whatever people wanted to hear, and disguise myself as a successful person, misleading people with false appearances. Even when I heard the voice of God saving people, and realized that God’s words are the truth and can lead people to the right path, I didn’t attend gatherings properly because I wanted to develop my team and improve my sales. I didn’t even have time to read God’s words, and spent all my energy on pursuing money, fame, and gain. Ultimately, I nearly lost my life in the bus accident. Now I was finally able to gather and do my duty regularly, but when I heard my former colleague say she would help me get an annual salary of 100,000 yuan, my desires were stirred, and I was eager to go back to the world and work hard at my career. How tightly I was bound by money, fame, and gain! Actually, thinking about it, in the past few years, I was busy scrabbling around for fame and gain. Though I earned some money, and was also praised and admired by others, my family life wasn’t harmonious, and I often got angry and quarreled with my husband, and I often felt a sense of emptiness in my heart. Moreover, in pursuit of fame and gain, I lied to and tricked my customers and crossed the basic standard of conscience. I lived without any integrity or dignity at all. Also, I have some physical aftereffects from the bus accident, and I often suffer from back pain. I paid a lot for fame and gain, but what I got in return was spiritual emptiness and physical pain. I realized that no matter how much money you have, you cannot buy peace of mind or an easy conscience, and however high your status is, you cannot escape misfortune. Fame and gain cannot bring people a truly happy life. They can only lead people to emptiness and pain, and make them lose the opportunity to be saved. Now I had finally pulled my feet out of the mire of money, fame, and gain, and I didn’t want to pursue fame, gain, and status as I had before, or lead that life of suffering, exhaustion, emptiness, and torment. I had to let go of my ambitions and desires to pursue fame and gain, pursue submission to God, and do the duty of a created being well. Only in this way is life meaningful. I also realized that although it looked like it was my colleague trying to persuade me that day, behind it was Satan’s scheme and God’s test of me. I could not fall for Satan’s schemes again and continue on my previous mistaken path. Therefore, I rejected her explicitly.

From then on, whenever someone recommends a way to make money to me, my heart no longer wavers, and I only think about preaching the gospel and doing my duty well. I thought of the hymn of God’s words, “The Most Meaningful Life”: “You are a created being—you should of course worship God and pursue a life of meaning. Since you are a human being, you should expend yourself for God and endure all suffering! You should gladly and assuredly accept the little suffering you are subjected to today and live a meaningful life, like Job and Peter. You are people who pursue the right path, those who seek improvement. You are people who rise up in the nation of the great red dragon, those whom God calls righteous. Is that not the most meaningful life?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Practice (2)). God’s words made me understand that there is no point in pursuing money, fame, gain, pride, or prestige. Only by believing in God, pursuing the truth, casting off corrupt dispositions, and fulfilling the duty of a created being can you lead the most meaningful life. In the past, I pursued money, fame, gain, and material enjoyment, and lived for the flesh. Although I appeared prestigious and respectable, I didn’t feel peace and joy in my heart. Now I am doing my duty with my brothers and sisters, eating and drinking the words of God, accepting the judgment and chastisement of God’s words, and reflecting on and understanding myself. I don’t lie as much anymore, and I have gradually started to live out a human likeness. I thank the leadership of Almighty God for helping me to escape the pain of pursuing money, fame, and gain, and embarking on a bright road in my life!