By Liu Yi, China

While serving as a leader, I expelled a sister from the church who did not deserve to be expelled, meting out an unjust conviction due to my lack of responsibility and principles in my duty. Later on, the sister was allowed back into the church and I was deemed to be a false leader and dismissed from my position for not doing real work. The church instructed me to take some time to reflect and I was quite willing to come to understand myself through self-reflection and to truly repent. At that time, I was living with Sister Qin Ken. A church leader named Li Jing would often come by to ask Qin Ken about various aspects of her duty. She would also tell Qin Ken about shortcomings she’d noticed in other brothers and sisters and how she had pruned them. At first, I didn’t think much of this, but as time went on and she continued to regularly speak in this way, I began to think: “Aren’t you judging and disparaging people behind their backs to show off? Can you really get results by just chiding the brothers and sisters when they have problems instead of fellowshipping the truth to resolve their issues?” I thought about bringing this up with Li Jing, but then it occurred to me: “I’m supposed to be in a period of reflection following my dismissal—what if she doesn’t accept my feedback and says I’m not behaving as I should during this time of reflection? If the upper leadership looks into my state and Li Jing says I haven’t changed, who knows how long it will be until I get assigned to a new duty? Forget it, I’d better not mention anything.” But after that, I still felt uneasy. It was uncaring to just ignore this problem I’d seen in Li Jing. Later on, when I heard Li Jing judging and disparaging brothers and sisters and showing off again, I pointed it out to her. Outwardly, she seemed to accept my criticism, but she continued to act in the same way. I pointed the issue out to her several times, but she just wouldn’t change her ways. I thought to myself: “She seems to recognize her problem, but she never changes her behavior. She’s not accepting the truth. Perhaps I can seek her out and then dissect and fellowship on her inability to accept the truth with her. That would be helpful for her.” But then I thought: “I’ve already brought this up with her several times. What if when I bring it up again, she not only fails to accept it, but goes on to condemn me? I’m supposed to be in a time of reflection now—will I still have a chance to be saved if I’m expelled? Forget it, I’d better just behave myself and keep quiet.”

Later on, I began hosting two sisters, Qin Ken and Xia Yu. One morning, I overheard Li Jing reprimanding them for being too slow in carrying out the work of cleansing the church, saying that her leader would think poorly of her because of it. The two sisters responded, saying: “Expelling a church member is a big deal. We have to verify and understand all aspects of the situation before moving forward. If we’re too hasty, we’ll be likely to wrongfully condemn people.” But Li Jing wouldn’t accept this and said she planned to condemn Sister Chang Jing as an evil person and have her expelled. Actually, Chang Jing just had an arrogant disposition—while serving as a gospel deacon, she couldn’t fellowship the truth to resolve issues and was always chiding people and making them feel constrained. But she didn’t have the essence of an evil person and didn’t satisfy the conditions for expulsion. At the time, Qin Ken and Xia Yu disagreed with Li Jing and argued that Chang Jing’s behavior didn’t meet the standards for expulsion. They also noted that Chang Jing had gained some understanding of her past transgressions through self-reflection. However, not only did Li Jing ignore their arguments, she even chided them, saying that they would be shielding an evil person by failing to expel Chang Jing and impeding the work of cleansing the church. Hearing this, I thought: “The work of cleansing the church is extremely important, and must be carried out according to principle. Li Jing is doing evil by arbitrarily condemning and expelling someone that doesn’t meet the specifications for expulsion just to safeguard her own reputation and status!” I considered pointing this out to Li Jing, but then I thought: “I’m only a host for my brothers and sisters and my words don’t count for much. Even if I do bring it up with her, she might not accept my criticism. I’d better just stay out of it.” At this thought, I ended up just keeping my mouth shut. That afternoon, I heard that Li Jing had gotten the two sisters to organize all the information on Chang Jing in preparation for her expulsion. The two sisters once again voiced their concerns that Chang Jing’s behavior didn’t meet the conditions for expulsion and asked Li Jing to do some more seeking. But Li Jing wouldn’t listen and once again condemned the sisters for impeding the cleansing work and protecting an evil person. After she said this, she stormed out of the room. I remembered my own history of not doing my duty according to principles, and how I’d wrongfully condemned a church member because I’d failed to verify the details of the case for her expulsion. When I went to apologize to the sister who’d been expelled, she told me that it had caused her great pain and suffering to not be able to gather or read God’s words. This had made me feel incredibly remorseful and guilty. The harm I’d caused to that sister and the damage I’d done to her life was irreparable, and the whole ordeal had left a permanent stain on my life as a believer. If this matter of expelling Chang Jing was weighed according to the principles, Chang Jing’s behavior would not be serious enough to merit expulsion. And yet Li Jing was determined to expel her to safeguard her own reputation and status. This was evildoing! That night, I tossed and turned in my bed, unable to sleep—I kept thinking of how when the two sisters fellowshipped with Li Jing, she was unaccepting and had even arbitrarily condemned them. Wasn’t she using her status to suppress and constrain them? I thought that I ought to seek out Li Jing and fellowship with her to safeguard the church’s work. But then I thought about how Li Jing hadn’t accepted my suggestions before. What would I do if she accused me of impeding and disrupting the cleansing work when I brought it up again? I had already been dismissed due to my transgression and was still in a period of reflection. What would I do if I were expelled from the church based on those allegations? When this occurred to me, I began to waver.

After that, I came before God to seek and pray and read the following passage of His word: “All of you say you are considerate of God’s burden and will defend the testimony of the church, but who among you has really been considerate of God’s burden? Ask yourself: Are you someone who has shown consideration for His burden? Can you practice righteousness for Him? Can you stand up and speak for Me? Can you steadfastly put the truth into practice? Are you bold enough to fight against all of Satan’s deeds? Would you be able to set your feelings aside and expose Satan for the sake of My truth? Can you allow My intentions to be satisfied in you? Have you offered up your heart in the most crucial of moments? Are you someone who follows My will?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 13). The judgment of God’s word filled me with shame and I wanted to hide my face. After being dismissed, I kept saying that I wanted to reflect on myself and repent, but nothing about my behavior showed repentance. I was well aware that Li Jing was going against the principles in the cleansing work to maintain her status and reputation, and that she would damage the brothers’ and sisters’ life entry and the church’s work. But I worried that if I fellowshipped with her she wouldn’t accept it, and that she’d accuse me of impeding and disrupting the church’s cleansing work and expel me. In order to protect myself, I hadn’t dared say anything when I’d clearly noticed a problem. I completely lacked a sense of justice. I realized that if Li Jing really expelled Chang Jing, not only would she be hurting Chang Jing, she would also leave a stain of transgression on herself. I knew I had to stop being a people-pleaser. Now that I’d seen Li Jing was on the same path toward failure that I’d once walked, I had to point out her issue and make her aware of how serious the consequences of her actions would be. After that, I met up with Li Jing and fellowshipped with her on my own experience of wrongly accusing someone due to not carrying out expulsion based on the principles. But Li Jing wouldn’t accept what I said and even told me that I should just stick to hosting brothers and sisters and not get involved in the cleansing work as I was still in a reflection period after being dismissed. I was a bit dismayed when she said this and I thought: “Am I overstepping my bounds? If I bring it up with her again, will she dislike me even more? If I really do offend her, will she try to make life difficult for me? But the essence of Li Jing’s behavior is really serious, and it will be very dangerous for her to keep going on like this!” Realizing this, I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me through this matter.

Two days later, Li Jing came to our residence, took me aside and asked me what I thought about her plan to dismiss Qin Ken for letting her feelings dictate how she did her duty and impeding the cleansing work. I said: “Qin Ken bears a great burden in her duty and has dealt with Chang Jing’s case according to principle. I don’t see how she’s impeded the cleansing work.” But Li Jing insisted that Chang Jing was an evil person and should be expelled. She also claimed that the reason why there had been no progress in the cleansing work was because Qin Ken was protecting Chang Jing. I was quite shocked when I heard her say this—Qin Ken had been acting according to principles by objecting to Chang Jing’s expulsion. How could Li Jing dismiss her so arbitrarily? I hurriedly replied: “We can’t arbitrarily expel or dismiss people, and not take the lives of our brothers and sisters seriously just because we want to protect our own reputation and status! I have a transgression on my record now because I didn’t do my duty according to principles—please don’t go down the same path toward failure that I did! We must do our duties in strict accordance with the principles.” Li Jing angrily replied: “Well, I’ve already made the decision to dismiss Qin Ken, nothing you can say will change my mind.” Hearing this, I felt angry and helpless. I thought: “I can’t afford to offend you, so I’ll just have to pipe down. Anyway, I gave you my opinion and it’s up to you whether or not you accept it.” After that, I just kept my mouth shut. Ultimately, Li Jing still dismissed Qin Ken and reassigned me to a remote location to do my duty. She claimed that the move was for my own safety—she said that the CCP had been stepping up their campaign of suppression and arrests and given that I had previously been a leader and knew a lot about the church, it would be best if I didn’t make direct contact with brothers and sisters. She also told me that going forward, any letters I sent or that were sent to me would have to go through her. Before I could even reply, she cut me off saying, “I have other business to attend to now,” and sped off on her bike. I stood at the doorway of my house, watching her ride away as tears came streaming down my face. I thought: “So now you’re restricting me and trying to control me?” The more I thought about it, the more stifled I felt. I thought back on Li Jing’s behavior during that period: When I gave her a suggestion, she didn’t accept it and even threatened me, saying that I should just stick to hosting brothers and sisters and not overstep my bounds. Then, worrying that her evil deeds would be revealed, she sent me off to a remote location and didn’t let me contact the other brothers and sisters, with the excuse that she was just trying to protect me. She was being so sinister and deceitful! To maintain her own status and reputation, she suppressed and condemned anyone who wouldn’t fall in line with her orders, following Satan’s rule of “Let those who comply with me thrive and those who resist me perish.” Was she not acting like an antichrist? I knew I couldn’t keep compromising, and that I had to report Li Jing and expose her evil deeds. The problem was that anything I wrote would have to pass through her. If she found out I had written a letter reporting her, there was a possibility she would suppress me even further. If she made up an accusation against me and expelled me from the church, what chance would I have of being saved then? When this occurred to me, I shrank back again and felt incredibly tormented.

For the next few days, previous interactions I’d had with Li Jing kept running through my head and I was in no mood to do my duty. One night, I finally decided to write a letter to report Li Jing, but as I wrote, I began to think: “If I report her, will the other brothers and sisters think that I’m not behaving as I should during my period of reflection? When Qin Ken was dismissed, I don’t recall hearing that she reported Li Jing. Will it seem like I’m trying to show off if I report her? First, I gave Li Jing some suggestions and now I’m reporting her. If she knows about it, will she think I just can’t let go of this problem I see in her?” I deleted the letter after realizing all this, but I felt quite guilty about doing so. Given how Li Jing was suppressing me, if I didn’t report her, who knew who else she would suppress in the future. I barely slept at all that night. I came before God in prayer, saying: “Oh God, I want to report Li Jing, but I’m afraid that she’ll suppress me even further when she finds out. Oh God, I don’t know how I should get through this situation, please guide me.”

Later on, I came across this passage of God’s words: “You must enter from the side of positivity; be active and not passive. You must be unshaken by anyone or anything, in all situations, and you must not be influenced by anyone’s words. You must have a stable disposition; no matter what people say, you must immediately put into practice what you know to be the truth. You must always have My words at work inside of you, regardless of whom you might be facing; you must be able to stand firm in your testimony to Me and show consideration for My burdens. You must not blindly agree with others without having your own ideas; rather, you must have the courage to stand up and object to those things that do not conform with the truth. If you know clearly that something is wrong, yet lack the courage to expose it, then you are not a person who practices the truth. You want to say something, but dare not come right out with it, so you beat around the bush and then change the topic; Satan is inside you holding you back, causing you to speak without any effect and to be unable to persevere until the end. You still carry fear in your heart, and is this not because your heart is still filled with Satan’s ideas?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 12). Through God’s words, I learned that God loves those that protect the church’s work. When they see something that violates the principles and hurts the interests of the church, they are able to practice the truth to protect the church’s work. By contrast, God is disgusted by those that blindly agree with others and only selfishly and despicably act to protect their own interests. They remain indifferent when they witness the church’s work being damaged. As I reflected on my behavior during that time, I realized that even though I knew it was improper for Li Jing to judge others arbitrarily behind their backs and show off, I worried that if I continued to speak out, I’d offend her. So, to protect my own interests, I’d underplayed the issue when I brought it up with her. To maintain her own reputation and status, Li Jing had insisted on labeling Chang Jing an evil person and expelling her, accused Qin Ken and Xia Yu of impeding the cleansing work and dismissed Qin Ken. I knew these behaviors violated the principles, that she was doing evil and resisting God. But I worried that if I directly exposed the essence of what she had done, she would make life difficult for me, and expel me on the basis of the claim that I was impeding and disrupting the church’s cleansing work. So I just gave her some advice and encouraged her to change her behavior, allowing her to continue her campaign of brazen evildoing. Worried that I would report her actions, Li Jing then isolated me and didn’t let me interact with other brothers and sisters. I could clearly see that she was trying to cover up her evil deeds. I should have stepped up to expose and report her, but I was afraid of offending her and didn’t even have the courage to write a report letter. I was living an ignoble life, and I was a coward that didn’t dare practice the truth. I wasn’t considering the church’s work, or showing any care for the possible damage done to the brothers’ and sisters’ lives. I didn’t have the slightest sense of justice and was truly selfish and despicable!

As I continued seeking, I came across these passages of God’s words: “Conscience and reason should both be components of a person’s humanity. These are both the most fundamental and most important. What kind of person is one who lacks conscience and does not have the reason of normal humanity? Generally speaking, they are a person who lacks humanity, a person of extremely poor humanity. Going into more detail, what manifestations of lost humanity does this person exhibit? Have a go at analyzing what characteristics are found in such people and what specific manifestations they present. (They are selfish and base.) Selfish and base people are perfunctory in their actions and stand aloof from anything that does not concern them personally. They do not consider the interests of God’s house, nor do they show consideration for God’s intentions. They take on no burden of performing their duties or testifying for God, and they have no sense of responsibility. … There are some people who do not take any responsibility regardless of the duty they are performing. They don’t promptly report problems they discover to their superiors, either. When they see people being disruptive and disturbing, they turn a blind eye. When they see evil people committing evil, they don’t try to stop them. They don’t protect the interests of the house of God, or consider what their duty and responsibility is. When they perform their duty, people like this don’t do any real work; they are people pleasers and are greedy for comfort; they speak and act only for their own vanity, face, status, and interests, and are only willing to devote their time and effort to things that benefit them” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Giving One’s Heart to God, One Can Obtain the Truth). “Until people have experienced God’s work and understood the truth, it is Satan’s nature that takes charge and dominates them from within. What, specifically, does that nature entail? For example, why are you selfish? Why do you protect your own position? Why do you have such strong feelings? Why do you enjoy those unrighteous things? Why do you like those evils? What is the basis for your fondness for such things? Where do these things come from? Why are you so happy to accept them? By now, you have all come to understand that the main reason behind all these things is that Satan’s poison is within man. So what is Satan’s poison? How can it be expressed? For example, if you ask, ‘How should people live? What should people live for?’ people will answer, ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ This single phrase expresses the very root of the problem. Satan’s philosophy and logic have become people’s lives. No matter what people pursue, they do so for themselves—and so they live only for themselves. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’—this is the life philosophy of man, and it also represents human nature. These words have already become the nature of corrupt mankind and they are the true portrait of corrupt mankind’s satanic nature. This satanic nature has already become the basis for corrupt mankind’s existence. For several thousand years, corrupt mankind has lived by this venom of Satan, right up to the present day” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). Through the revelation of God’s words, I realized that I was living based upon satanic poisons like: “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Sensible people are good at self-protection, seeking only to avoid making mistakes,” “Local officials have more control than state officials,” and “Beggars can’t be choosers.” I had become incredibly selfish and deceitful and only ever considered my own interests. I didn’t dare say anything even when I observed a false leader doing evil and damaging the church’s interests. I had lost my conscience and reason as a created being, and I wasn’t living out the likeness of a true human at all. I thought back to Li Jing expelling Chang Jing. I’d known that Chang Jing’s behavior was not severe enough to warrant being expelled and that expulsion would cause her spiritual suffering and be extremely damaging to her life entry. Yet, to protect my own interests, I hadn’t prevented Li Jing from arbitrarily expelling her. I had been so selfish and lacking in humanity! When Li Jing dismissed Qin Ken, I worried that I’d be stripped of my duty if I offended Li Jing, so I didn’t dare uphold the principles and stop this evil deed. I hadn’t personally committed these transgressions, but I had looked on indifferently as Li Jing committed evil and allowed her to disrupt and destroy the church’s work and suppress and punish my sisters. Wasn’t I standing on Satan’s side and helping the wicked carry out their wicked deeds? I hated myself when I realized this. God’s disposition is righteous and unoffendable. He detests those who live an ignoble life, only look after themselves, and don’t practice the truth. If I never stepped up to expose Li Jing’s evil deeds and let her continue causing disruption and doing evil in the church, I’d be shielding her evil deeds and would be detested and despised by God. I came across another passage of God’s words that said: “In the church, stand firm in your testimony to Me, uphold the truth; right is right and wrong is wrong. Do not confuse black and white. You shall be at war with Satan and must completely vanquish it so that it never rises again. You must give everything you have to protect My testimony. This shall be the goal of your actions—do not forget this” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 41). God’s words gave me a path of practice. When I observed things that didn’t accord with the principles, I should put aside my own interests and uphold the truth principles and protect the church’s work. This is the responsibility I should carry out as a created being and a principle of conduct for all believers. I couldn’t continue worrying about my prospects and fate, and living an ignoble life just to protect my own interests. I had to practice the truth and protect the church’s work—I had to step up to expose and report Li Jing’s evil deeds.

After that, I reflected on why I kept worrying that reporting Li Jing would affect my prospects and fate. I realized that I held some fallacious ideas. I thought that because I was still in a period of reflection after being dismissed, if I were to raise an issue with a leader, people would think I wasn’t behaving as I should during reflection. I thought that I was only a host, and that I lacked standing and status and my words carried little weight, so I didn’t dare confront Li Jing when I saw her arbitrarily expelling and dismissing people. I thought that since Li Jing was a leader, if I offended her, she’d make life difficult for me and I’d be unable to do my duty. I also thought that if I were expelled, I’d completely lose any chance of being saved. I mistakenly believed that my fate was in Li Jing’s hands and whether or not I’d be able to continue doing my duty and attain salvation was all up to her. I didn’t believe that God’s house is ruled by God and the truth. This kind of idea is blasphemous and a misunderstanding of God. My fate is in God’s hands and no person has a say in it, much less could any leader decide it. In the past, imperious and despotic antichrists had done evil and caused disruptions in the church, some had taken control of the church and tried to establish their own independent kingdoms, but eventually they were all expelled. God’s house is ruled by the truth and the Holy Spirit. No evil people or antichrist can gain a footing in the church and they all are eventually revealed and eliminated by God. Even if I were suppressed, punished, or even expelled for exposing and reporting a false leader, it would only be temporary and wouldn’t mean that I’d never attain salvation. As a member of the church, no matter what duty I did, whether I’d committed transgressions, or whether I’d been dismissed in the past, if I observed a false leader or antichrist doing evil, disrupting the church’s work or suppressing God’s chosen people, I had to step up to report and expose such behavior. That was my responsibility and obligation.

While I was thinking over what I should write in my report, I ran into Xia Yu. With tears in her eyes, she told me that she’d made some suggestions to Li Jing after seeing her fail to follow the principles in the church’s cleansing work. She said that Li Jing wouldn’t accept her advice and had dismissed her. Xia Yu’s tearful story made it even clearer to me that when false leaders and antichrists exercise power in the church, it’s not only harmful to the brothers and sisters, it also leads to the disruption and disturbance of the church’s work. If I didn’t expose and report Li Jing as soon as possible, it would only lead to even greater damage to the church’s work. I decided to write a letter exposing Li Jing’s evil deeds that very night and ask some brothers and sisters to pass it on to the upper-level leaders. To my surprise, I returned home to find a message from the upper-level leaders inviting me to meet with them. I knew that God had opened up a path for me. When we met, I presented all of Li Jing’s evil deeds to them. They said they had received several messages recently reporting Li Jing and would deal with the matter according to the principles as soon as possible after looking into and verifying the charges. Hearing this, I felt happy that I’d finally been able to practice a bit of truth and that my heart was finally liberated from suppression.

A few days later, I received a message from the upper-level leaders saying that upon investigation, Li Jing had been found to be a false leader walking the path of an antichrist. The nature of this matter was quite serious, so they had begun by dismissing her. If she failed to repent, she would be dealt with as an antichrist. Hearing this, I truly felt that it is Christ and the truth that rule over God’s house. No one person has the final say in the matters of the church and no evildoer can hold a place in God’s house. I also realized that only by practicing the truth and protecting the church’s work are we in accordance with God’s intentions. Thanks be to God!