By Li Ning, China

In December 2023, I was elected as a preacher. When I heard the news, I was a little worried, “As a preacher, I have to be responsible for several churches. I need to frequently gather with church leaders and deacons and fellowship with them to guide the work. This requires an understanding of the truth and an ability to fellowship on the truth to resolve problems. I have believed in God for only a short time, and my understanding of the truth is shallow. I have just started to train to be a leader in the church, and am still quite deficient in fellowshipping on the truth to resolve problems. If I cannot solve problems when I am gathering with my brothers and sisters, what will they think of me? Will they think that I am not capable of this duty and look down on me?” But then I thought, “Duty calls upon me with God’s permission, and more than that, it is God’s grace. I cannot let God down and must rely on God in doing the work.” Therefore, I accepted this duty.

At first, I just communicated about the work with the church leaders and deacons through letters, but this was not very effective. Some work required gatherings in order to understand the situation in person and provide practical guidance. I thought about the fact that most church leaders had believed in God for longer than I had, and definitely understood more truth than me. If I couldn’t fellowship well and was unable to solve their problems and difficulties, wouldn’t that be really embarrassing? If we communicated through letters, I could first understand the problem clearly, then take time to ponder, and seek from my superiors regarding anything I didn’t understand. At least I wouldn’t embarrass myself in front of everyone. However, without gatherings, there was no way to understand their problems and difficulties in detail, and so I had no choice but to invite them to a gathering. I was extremely nervous that day. During the gathering, a sister said that she’d encountered many problems while doing the cleansing work and didn’t know how to resolve them, and that her state was bad too. At first, my mind went blank, and I couldn’t work out what the problem was straight away, and so I got even more nervous. I thought about how my sister was still waiting for me to fellowship with her, and I worried what my brothers and sisters would think if I couldn’t solve problems at my first gathering. Would they think that I was out of my depth as a preacher if I couldn’t even solve this problem? In order to prevent my brothers and sisters from seeing through me, I had no choice but to force myself to search through the words of God. After looking for a long time, I still couldn’t find any words that applied to my sister’s state. Finally, I just about managed to find a passage, but after I finished reading it, nobody fellowshipped about it. The room was deadly silent, and I was mortified with embarrassment. I thought to myself, “This is a huge embarrassment. It is surely the case that the passage of God’s words I have found isn’t appropriate and cannot solve the problem. My brothers and sisters must know my true level now. How can I face them in the future?” The more I thought about it, the more I felt that I could not do this duty. In the end, I just briefly fellowshipped a few words in a perfunctory manner, and changed the subject by starting to ask about the work. But because I was nervous, and worried about how my brothers and sisters would view me if I couldn’t solve problems, I just got a very rough idea of the work and held on by my fingernails until the gathering was over. I was very negative when I got home, and thought to myself, “Today’s gathering was a total failure. Not only did I fail to solve the problems of my brothers and sisters, I also thoroughly exposed my true level. How can I face my brothers and sisters in the future?” During that time, I was living in a negative state and didn’t have any energy to eat and drink the words of God. I wasn’t as diligent in following up on the work, and deliberately avoided gatherings. I even didn’t dare gather with the leaders and deacons for nearly a month. At that time, some church leaders did not grasp the principles, and the progress of organizing cleansing materials was particularly slow. After several exchanges of letters, there was still no improvement, so we had to meet in person for practical guidance. However, I didn’t go, in order to save face. This delayed the progress of the cleansing work.

Later, when I gathered with my co-workers, I told them about my state. The sister I was partnered with showed me a video of a reading of God’s words. Almighty God says: “When someone is elected to be a leader by the brothers and sisters, or is promoted by the house of God to do a certain piece of work or perform a certain duty, this does not mean that they have a special status or position, or that the truths they understand are deeper and more numerous than those of other people—much less that this person is able to submit to God, and will not betray Him. Certainly, it does not mean, either, that they know God, and are someone who fears God. They have attained none of this, in fact. The promotion and cultivation is merely promotion and cultivation in the straightforward sense, and is not equivalent to them having been predestined and approved of by God. Their promotion and cultivation simply means they have been promoted, and await cultivation. And the ultimate outcome of this cultivation depends on whether this person pursues the truth, and on whether they are capable of choosing the path of pursuing the truth. Thus, when someone in the church is promoted and cultivated to be a leader, they are merely promoted and cultivated in the straightforward sense; it does not mean that they are already up to standard and competent as a leader, that they are already capable of undertaking leadership work, and can do real work—that is not the case. Most people cannot see through to these things, and based on their own imaginings they look up to those who have been promoted. This is a mistake. No matter how many years they have believed in God for, do those who are promoted really possess the truth reality? Not necessarily. Are they able to implement the work arrangements of the house of God? Not necessarily. Do they have a sense of responsibility? Are they loyal? Are they able to submit? When they encounter an issue, are they able to seek the truth? All of this is unknown. Do these people have God-fearing hearts? And just how great are their God-fearing hearts? Are they able to avoid following their own will when they do things? Are they able to seek God? During the time that they perform leadership work, are they able to frequently come before God to seek the intentions of God? Are they able to lead people into the truth reality? They are certainly incapable of such things. They haven’t received training and they haven’t had enough experiences, so they are incapable of these things. This is why promoting and cultivating someone doesn’t mean they already understand the truth, nor is it saying that they are already capable of doing their duty in a way that is up to standard. So what is the aim and significance of promoting and cultivating someone? It is that this person is promoted, as an individual, in order for them to practice, and in order for them to be specially watered and trained, thus enabling them to understand the truth principles, and the principles, means, and methods of doing different things and solving various problems, as well as how to handle and deal with the various types of environments and people they encounter in accordance with God’s intentions, and in a way that protects the interests of the house of God. Judging based on these points, are the talented people promoted and cultivated by the house of God adequately capable of undertaking their work and doing their duty well during the promotion and cultivation period or prior to promotion and cultivation? Of course not. Thus, it is unavoidable that, during the cultivation period, these people will experience pruning, judgment and chastisement, exposure and even dismissal; this is normal, this is training and cultivation” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (5)). After reading the words of God, I understood that just because a person has been promoted and cultivated doesn’t mean they are better than anyone else, possess truth reality, or are able to see clearly and solve any problem. When the church promotes and cultivates someone, it gives them a responsibility and a burden, and enables them to have more opportunities to get practice, and to learn to find problems and seek the truth to resolve them. It is absolutely normal for there to be a few things that they don’t understand or can’t do. It was just like when I had gathered and fellowshipped with the brothers and sisters. Because I had believed in God for a short time and had just started doing this duty, it was very normal that I didn’t know how to solve some problems. However, I had always believed that as a preacher I had to be able to resolve problems, and couldn’t say that I had no idea how to do things. So during that gathering, I’d wanted to be able to see clearly and resolve any problem, and had covered up my own deficiencies when I couldn’t resolve things. I’d also been negative and passed verdict on myself as being incapable of this duty, and hadn’t even dared to gather with the leaders and deacons for nearly a month, which had delayed the work of the church. In fact, although I was a preacher, I was still myself. I still had many deficiencies, and a shallow understanding of the truth, and needed to seek and ask more about things I didn’t understand or couldn’t do, and open up in fellowship with the brothers and sisters, leveraging their strengths to offset my weaknesses and do my duty well. After understanding this, I was willing to meet with the church leaders for a gathering.

But when I wrote to notify them of the gathering, my previous worries subconsciously bubbled up again. Later, I read the words of God: “All corrupted humans suffer from a common problem: When they have no status, they do not put on airs when interacting or speaking with anyone, nor do they adopt a certain style or tone in their speech; they are simply ordinary and normal, and do not need to package themselves. They do not feel any psychological pressure, and can fellowship openly and from the heart. They are approachable and are easy to interact with; others feel that they are very good people. As soon as they attain status, they become high and mighty, they ignore ordinary people, nobody can approach them; they feel that they have a sort of nobility, and that they and ordinary people are cut from different cloths. They look down on ordinary people, put on airs when they speak, and stop fellowshipping openly with others. Why do they no longer fellowship openly? They feel that they now have status, and are leaders. They think that leaders must have a certain image, be a bit loftier than ordinary people, have more stature and are better able to assume responsibility; they believe that compared to ordinary people, leaders must have more patience, be able to suffer and expend more, and be able to withstand any temptation from Satan. Even if their parents or other family members die, they feel they must have the self-control to not cry, or that they must cry in secret at the very least, out of sight of others, so that no one can see any of their shortcomings, defects, or weaknesses. They even feel that leaders cannot let anyone know if they have become negative; instead, they must hide all such things. They believe this is how one with status should act. When they repress themselves to this extent, has status not become their god, their lord? And this being so, do they still possess normal humanity? When they have these ideas—when they put themselves in this box, and put on this kind of act—have they not become enamored with status?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Resolve the Temptations and Bondage of Status). When I read the exposure in God’s words, I understood that the reason that I had never been able to treat my own shortcomings and deficiencies correctly since becoming a preacher was that I had placed myself on a pedestal as a preacher. Ahead of the gathering, as soon as I’d thought about how the leaders I would be facing had believed in God for many years, I had gotten nervous, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to solve their problems, and that they would believe I was an incompetent preacher, leaving me embarrassed and awkward. During the gathering, even though I clearly hadn’t been able to see through the sister’s problem or resolve it, I had still believed that as a preacher, I couldn’t actually say that I couldn’t see through it. Therefore, I had just casually found a passage of God’s words and fellowshipped a few words in a perfunctory manner, paying no heed to whether the sister’s state had been resolved or not before moving the conversation on to finding out about other work. Even then, because I had been worried that I couldn’t solve problems, I had only asked about the work very briefly. As a result, the gathering hadn’t truly resolved any problems. Actually, if I had been able to open up and be honest about not knowing how to solve the sister’s state, and then fellowshipped and sought with everyone together, the problem could have been solved to some extent. However, I had protected my status and image as a preacher at every turn. I hadn’t carried a burden in my duty, and I’d only had status on my mind; I had just been putting up a front and disguising myself. I thought about when the upper leaders had gathered with me. I had fellowshipped as much as I understood, and opened up my heart and inquired about anything I didn’t understand. I felt relaxed and liberated throughout those gatherings. However, whenever I had gathered with the brothers and sisters, this relaxed and liberated feeling had completely disappeared. I had believed that as a preacher, I was there to solve their problems, and so I had naturally raised myself onto a pedestal as a preacher. I had constantly tried to conceal and hide my shortcomings, and as a result, I hadn’t been able to feel God’s leadership. This meant that the gatherings had been dry and barren from beginning to end, and also very tiring.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “Antichrists’ cherishment of their reputation and status goes beyond that of normal people, and is something within their disposition essence; it is not a temporary interest, or the transient effect of their surroundings—it is something within their life, their bones, and so it is their essence. This is to say that in everything antichrists do, their first consideration is their own reputation and status, nothing else. For antichrists, reputation and status are their life, and their lifelong goal. In all they do, their first consideration is: ‘What will happen to my status? And to my reputation? Will doing this give me a good reputation? Will it elevate my status in people’s minds?’ That is the first thing they think about, which is ample proof that they have the disposition and essence of antichrists; that is why they consider things this way. It can be said that for antichrists, reputation and status are not some additional requirement, much less things which are external to them that they could do without. They are part of the nature of antichrists, they are in their bones, in their blood, they are innate to them. Antichrists are not indifferent toward whether they possess reputation and status; this is not their attitude. Then, what is their attitude? Reputation and status are intimately connected to their daily lives, to their daily state, to what they pursue on a daily basis. And so for antichrists, status and reputation are their life. No matter how they live, no matter what environment they live in, no matter what work they do, no matter what they pursue, what their goals are, what their life’s direction is, it all revolves around having a good reputation and a high status. And this aim does not change; they can never put aside such things. This is the true face of antichrists, and their essence” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). God’s words expose that an antichrist regards reputation and status as their life. No matter what they do, they always consider their own reputation and status first, and without reputation and status, they have no motivation to do anything. This is determined by their nature essence. I thought about how I had also been protecting my reputation and status at every turn: When I had been elected to be a preacher, I had started worrying about not being able to solve problems even before I’d been to any gatherings. I hadn’t wanted to go to gatherings because I’d been afraid that my brothers and sisters would see my true level. Even though I had been well aware that my brothers and sisters didn’t grasp the principles of organizing cleansing materials and needed face-to-face guidance, I had been afraid of making a fool of myself in front of them and losing face, so I didn’t go to the gathering. This meant that there had been a long delay in resolving problems in the cleansing work, which had obstructed the work of the church. I had attached too much importance to reputation and status! I thought back to the past: When I was in the world, I had a particularly strong desire for reputation and status. When I was working, I would often be praised by the shift leader at meetings because I had a strong work ethic and some skills. The boss also thought highly of me and asked me to be responsible for some tasks. This made me very happy. But when the work I did required redoing and I was criticized by the shift leader, because I felt that I had lost face in front of so many people, I just wanted to resign. After coming to God’s house to do my duty, I still put my own pride and status first, and didn’t dare to admit that I didn’t know how to do anything. I had not believed in God for long, but I was graced by God to be able to do my duty as a preacher. God’s intention was that, as I did my duty, I would train myself to seek the truth to resolve the problems in my duty. This was a good opportunity to gain the truth. However, I didn’t think about how to do my duty well and satisfy God, but vigorously tried to protect my own pride and status. When I saw problems in the work of the church and my sister’s state that required resolution, I shrank back and avoided going to solve the problems in order to protect my title as a preacher. I didn’t pay any heed to the work of the church or the states of my brothers and sisters at all, and only considered my own face and status. I was especially selfish and despicable. The path I was walking was the path of antichrists, resisting God. When I understood this, I felt that my state was very dangerous, and was willing to hurriedly repent and turn things around.

Later, after the upper leaders learned about my state, they shared two passages of God’s words with me, which gave me a path of practice in letting go of status. Almighty God says: “How can you be people who are ordinary and normal? … Firstly, don’t give yourself a title and become bound by it, saying, ‘I am the leader, I am the head of the team, I am the supervisor, no one knows this business better than me, no one understands the skills more than me.’ Don’t get caught up in your self-appointed title. As soon as you do, it will bind your hands and feet, and what you say and do will be affected. Your normal thinking and judgment will also be affected. You must free yourself from the constraints of this status. First, lower yourself from this official title and position and stand in the place of an ordinary person. If you do, your mentality will become somewhat normal. You must also admit and say, ‘I don’t know how to do this, and I don’t understand that, either—I’m going to have to do some research and studying,’ or ‘I’ve never experienced this, so I don’t know what to do.’ When you are capable of saying what you’re really thinking and speaking honestly, you will be possessed of normal reason. Others will know the real you, and will thus have a normal view of you, and you will not have to put on an act, nor will there be any great pressure on you, and so you will be able to communicate with people normally. Living like this is free and easy; anyone who finds living exhausting has caused this themselves. Don’t pretend or put up a front. First, open up about what you’re thinking in your heart, about your true thoughts, so that everyone is aware of them and understands them. As a result, your concerns and the barriers and suspicions between you and others will all be eliminated. You’re also hobbled by something else. You always consider yourself the head of the team, a leader, a worker, or someone with a title, status, and standing: If you say you don’t understand something, or can’t do something, are you not denigrating yourself? When you put aside these fetters in your heart, when you stop thinking of yourself as a leader or a worker, and when you stop thinking that you’re better than other people and feel that you are an ordinary person, the same as everyone else, and that there are some areas in which you are inferior to others—when you fellowship the truth and work-related matters with this attitude, the effect is different, as is the atmosphere. If, in your heart, you always have misgivings, if you always feel stressed and hobbled, and if you want to rid yourself of these things but can’t, then you should pray seriously to God, reflect on yourself, see your shortcomings, and strive toward the truth. If you can put the truth into practice, you will get results. Whatever you do, don’t speak and act from a certain position or using a certain title. First, put all this to one side, and put yourself in the place of an ordinary person” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Treasuring God’s Words Is the Foundation of Belief in God). “What does status mean to you? In fact, status is simply an extra, additional thing, like a piece of clothing or a hat. It is just an ornament. It has no real use, and its presence doesn’t affect anything. Whether you have status or not, you are still the same person. Whether people can understand the truth and gain the truth and life has nothing to do with status. As long as you do not take status as too great a matter, it cannot constrain you. If you love status and place special emphasis on it, always treating it as a matter of importance, then it will have you under its control; you will not be willing to open up, lay yourself bare, know yourself, or set aside your leadership role to act, speak and interact with others and perform your duty. What sort of problem is this? Is this not a matter of being constrained by status? This happens because you speak and act from a place of status and can’t step down from your high horse. Aren’t you just tormenting yourself by doing this? If you really understand the truth, and if you can have status without holding yourself like you do, but can instead focus on how to perform your duties well, do everything you should and fulfill the duty you ought, and if you see yourself as an ordinary brother or sister, then will you not be constrained by status?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Resolve the Temptations and Bondage of Status). After reading the words of God, I understood that the word “preacher” is just a title, and doesn’t represent anything. It was not the case that I understood the truth just because I was a preacher; actually, whether I did this duty or not, my stature would be the same and I still wouldn’t be able to do the things I couldn’t do. God hopes that I can earnestly be an ordinary person; not be bound or constrained by titles; open up about my corruption and deficiencies during gatherings, fellowshipping about as much as I understand; be an honest person, saying “I don’t know” when faced with problems or difficulties I can’t resolve; and fellowship and seek with my brothers and sisters to do my duty well. After understanding God’s intention, I was willing to rely on God to enter in this regard. Later, during gatherings, I no longer placed myself on the pedestal of a preacher, and when I encountered problems I didn’t understand, I discussed and resolved them together with everyone.

Once, I went to a church to learn about its work. When I arrived at the gathering location, I saw a brother I had been in contact with before. This brother is quite focused on his own life entry and can fellowship on the truth to resolve some problems. I started to think, “If I am not as good at solving problems as he is, what will my brothers and sisters think of me? Will they think that I, a preacher, cannot even use the truth to solve problems? That would be so embarrassing!” I realized I was being influenced by my status and title again, and thought back to gatherings in the past, when I had concealed things and disguised myself for reputation and status, and didn’t dare to open up and lay bare the things that I didn’t understand or couldn’t do. Trying to put on airs at gatherings was truly miserable and agonizing! I didn’t want to do this anymore. I remembered the words of God: “If you don’t want to sit on the fire and roast, you should give up all these titles and halos and tell your brothers and sisters the true states and thoughts in your heart. In this way, the brothers and sisters can treat you correctly and you don’t have to put on a disguise. Now that you have opened up and shed light on your true state, doesn’t your heart feel more at ease, more relaxed? Why walk with such a heavy burden on your back? If you give out your true state, will the brothers and sisters really look down on you? Will they really abandon you? Absolutely not. On the contrary, the brothers and sisters will approve of you and admire you for daring to speak your heart. They will say that you are an honest person. This will not hinder your work in the church, nor have the slightest negative effect on it. If the brothers and sisters really see that you have difficulties, they will voluntarily help you and work with you. What do you say? Isn’t this how it would be?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Treasuring God’s Words Is the Foundation of Belief in God). From God’s words I understood that if I wanted to let go of status and titles I should be an honest person, open up in fellowship about my true thoughts with my brothers and sisters without concealing or disguising things, take things as they are, seek with my brothers and sisters and fellowship with everyone about things I didn’t understand, learning from each other’s strengths to make up for our weaknesses. This is beneficial to both me and the work of the church. Therefore, I silently prayed to God, that He may lead me to let go of pride and status, cast off the constraints of titles, and open up in fellowship, being an honest person. During the gathering, I opened up and said that I had many deficiencies, and that if anyone had problems or states, we could seek, fellowship, and resolve them together, learning from each other’s strengths. I no longer put myself on the pedestal of a preacher, and I wasn’t as tense or constrained in the gathering anymore. Instead, I felt really liberated and free that whole gathering. I also gained some light from the fellowship of my brothers and sisters and saw problems more clearly. From the bottom of my heart, I felt that it was so relaxing to let go of titles when gathering.

Through my experience in this period I understood that the only things that pursuing reputation and status in doing my duty brought me were agony and torment, and that the path I had been walking was the path of antichrists, resisting God. I would only end up being eliminated by God. Only by standing earnestly in the proper position of a created being, and straightforwardly opening up and being an honest person can I do my duty well.