By Jinxin, China

I was born in the 90s, and in middle school, I became addicted to romance dramas. Whenever I saw the unwavering love between the male and female protagonists, especially when the man takes care of the woman, I would feel envious, and I’d hope that I too could have such a love one day. I thought that finding someone who loved me, and sticking together through thick and thin, would be the happiest and most meaningful way to live my life.

In April 2009, shortly after I’d found God, I met Wenbin. He was four years older than me, and he was guileless, sincere, mature, stable, and he was thoughtful and caring toward me. Whenever I got in a bad mood with him, he would always put up with me. Usually, when something happened, he would first ask for my opinion, and he would always go along with me and respect my choices. I felt comfortable with him. Our relatives and friends also envied us, and they said that Wenbin was always so accommodating, and that such a person was hard to find these days. I was immersed in the sweetness of love, and I’d often feel lucky to have such a considerate boyfriend.

As I read more of God’s words, I understood that God’s work in the last days through His incarnation is to save and perfect mankind, bringing those who sincerely believe in God and are purified into the next age, and that this is the final step in God’s work to save mankind. My parents also often fellowshipped with me about the significance of believing in God, reminding me to cherish this opportunity of great rarity. I wanted to bring Wenbin before God so that we could both believe in God and pursue the truth together, and so that in the end, we could be saved and enter the kingdom together. That would be such a happy thing! So, I subtly asked him about his attitude toward faith. He didn’t believe in God, and he believed that a person’s destiny is in their own hands. He said, “We are young, and everything should be about money.” He also told me not to listen to my parents when they talked about believing in God, and that there was no God in this world. Hearing him say these things made me feel indescribably uncomfortable. I’d originally wanted to bring him before God and have us both believe in Him, but I’d never expected him to be an atheist. What was I to do? I’d seen that some brothers and sisters, whose families didn’t believe in God, had been hindered and persecuted by them. Just like my cousin—before she got married, she was active in doing her duties and preaching the gospel in various places, but after she got married, her husband, an atheist, persecuted and hindered her faith, and every day, they were either arguing or fighting. Later, my cousin couldn’t even attend gatherings, and in the end, she was forced to get a divorce, and the child was given to the father. She’d feel really sad every time she thought of her kid. I didn’t want to endure such a marriage or such pain. Wenbin didn’t believe in God, so if he persecuted me in the future, would I be able to stand firm? For a while, I didn’t know what to do. In my pain, I came before God and prayed, “God, I didn’t expect Wenbin to be an atheist. After being together for so long, I’ve put in too great an emotional investment, and if I break up with him, it’ll feel like my heart is being torn apart. I can’t bear to let go of this affection. But if I stay with him, and he stands in the way of my faith because we’re on separate paths, what would I do then? God, I am too small in stature, please guide me to make the right choice.” In the days that followed, I began to read God’s words on how to approach marriage, and I came to understand that there are principles in choosing a partner. It’s important to find someone like-minded, with good humanity, and who wouldn’t stand in the way of my faith. Wenbin didn’t believe in God, we weren’t like-minded or on the same path, and sooner or later, we would break up. The more affection I invested, the more painful the breakup would become. During that time, whenever I thought about this, my heart ached. I couldn’t bear the idea of breaking up, but if we stayed together, we’d be walking different paths. My heart was filled with contradiction, so I told God of my pain and difficulties and asked for His help.

Before I knew it, it was March 2011, and Wenbin’s family was asking us to get engaged. I had to make a choice. In my heart, I knew clearly that Wenbin didn’t believe in God, and that we couldn’t reach the end of the same path together, but I still held some hope, thinking, “I’ve never formally testified to him about God’s work, and I’m not sure about his attitude toward the truth. If he doesn’t believe in God but doesn’t hinder me, we could still stay together.” So I decided to talk to him about my faith in God and see how he would react. Something I never expected happened. As soon as he heard that I believed in God, he clenched his fist in anger and smashed it into the wall. His actions shocked me, and by the time I’d recovered, his hand was already bleeding from the impact. When I saw he was about to keep hitting the wall, I quickly grabbed his hand, but he forcefully pulled away. When I saw his abnormal behavior and cold expression, he felt like a stranger, and I was scared, thinking, “Is this still the boyfriend who used to agree with everything I said? Why does he have such an attitude when he hears that I believe in God? His eyes are filled with hatred. I just believe in God, I haven’t done anything wrong, why is he reacting like this?” In my heart, I kept praying to God, “God, if he truly hinders my faith, I am willing to break up with him. But I am too small in stature, and I can’t let go of the two years of affections we’ve shared. Please give me the strength to make the right choice.” After praying, I shared my experience of being protected by God, and I made it clear where I stood. He was silent for a while, then agreed not to stand in the way of my faith. We agreed that if he ever stood in the way of my faith, I would break up with him. He was initially stunned when he heard this, but he still agreed.

Wenbin’s brother and sister-in-law had decent humanity and believed in the existence of God, so I testified to them about God’s work of the last days. When Wenbin found out, he exploded in anger, and in front of his family, he told me to get out, and that he never wanted to see me again. He slammed down his phone forcefully in front of me. I had never seen him so angry before. With hatred in his voice, he said, “I won’t stand in the way of your faith, but don’t try and preach to my family!” Seeing how resistant he felt toward my faith, I became worried, thinking, “He said he wouldn’t stand in the way of my faith, but that’s because he doesn’t know that I attend gatherings and do my duties. If he finds out, will he try to stand in the way of my faith? If he does try to stand in my way, we will inevitably argue, and our marriage may break down. What should I do then?” My heart felt conflicted. If we broke up, I may never meet another person who truly loved me like this again, then what would be the point of my life? But if we didn’t break up, we’d be sure to keep arguing, then what happiness could there be in a life like that? Just thinking about this made me feel heartbroken, and I was caught in a dilemma. Later, I realized we had obvious differences in how we view things. For example, he said that after we got married we should open a restaurant, earn money to buy a car, a house, and so on. I said, “How much money a person can earn is already ordained by Heaven, and we just need enough to live on. Money isn’t the most important thing in life. We must worship God. That is the right path in life.” He said unhappily, “What’s the point of living if you don’t make money? How will you eat or drink without money? You have no ambition!” Such arguments happened frequently, and I felt exhausted. Every time we had a disagreement that caused unhappiness, I would wonder, “Is this the happiness I wanted? Why can’t I feel happy? What is the most meaningful thing to pursue in life? How can I avoid wasting this life of mine?” Afterward, I came before God and prayed, “God, I originally thought living with Wenbin would bring happiness, and that this was the life I’d always dreamed of, but I see now that things are not as I thought. We walk different paths and have no common ground, so my heart can never find liberation. Every day I secretly read Your words and attend gatherings because I’m afraid of arguing over these things. God, I am in great pain, and I want to break free from these affections, but deep inside, I can’t bear to let go of this relationship. Please help me.”

Later, Wenbin seemed to have sensed something. Several times, when I came back after going out, he would ask all sorts of questions. At first, I didn’t give this much thought, until one day, when it was time for another gathering. I got ready early and was about to leave, and he said, “Tell me the truth, are you going to a gathering again?” His usual gentle tone suddenly changed and he looked very serious. I said, “I am. What of it? Didn’t you say you wouldn’t stop me from believing in God?” He said, “Back then I thought that if I disagreed, you would break up with me. How could I not have said that? I thought after a long time, your will to believe in God would weaken, and you would stop believing. I never expected you to become even more fervent in the past six months! I can’t take it anymore. You’ve got to choose between me and your faith. If you choose me, you’ve got to give up your faith!” I knew if we stayed together, there would be constant arguments, and that this dispute would just be the beginning. But if we really did break up, I would still feel very reluctant and not want to give up this relationship. But if I chose to be with Wenbin, I would have to give up my faith. This was the key moment for God to perfect people, and I’d also come to firmly believe that Almighty God’s words are the truth, the way, and the life, and through experiencing God’s work I had experienced how God’s words can cleanse people, resolve their corrupt dispositions, and point people to the correct direction and path in their behavior and self-conduct. The truth that God gives to people is truly precious, so if I missed this opportunity, it would be a lifelong regret! How was I to choose between my faith and marriage? Why couldn’t I have both? I was torn, and I silently prayed to God. I thought about a passage of God’s words I had read in a gathering: “Behind every step of work that God does in you is Satan’s wager with God—behind it all is a battle. … When God and Satan do battle in the spiritual realm, how should you satisfy God, and how should you stand firm in your testimony to Him? You should know that everything that happens to you is a great trial and the time when God needs you to bear testimony” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God). God’s words made me understand that God wants to save people, but Satan won’t easily let go. God allows Satan to tempt us to see how we choose in such situations, and whether we can stand with Him to satisfy Him. On the surface, it looked like Wenbin was stopping me from following God, but in reality, Satan was causing disturbances from behind the scenes. Both God and Satan were watching how I’d choose, and I had to testify for God. I got my emotions under control and calmly said, “I choose to believe in God!” Wenbin made his stance clear: He would rather break up than allow me to believe in God. I felt deeply dejected, and when I got home, I couldn’t help but break down in tears. I didn’t expect that after all these years, our relationship would actually come to this point. In my pain, I prayed to God, asking Him to help me stand firm in this situation.

Later, I read God’s words: “You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must sacrifice yourself for the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. You must not throw away the truth for the sake of the enjoyment of a harmonious family life, and you must not lose a lifetime of dignity and integrity for the sake of temporary enjoyment. You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and you should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful. If you lead such a mundane and worldly life, and do not have any goal to pursue, isn’t this wasting your life? What can you gain from such a life? You should forsake all enjoyments of the flesh for the sake of one truth, and should not throw away all truths for the sake of a little enjoyment. People like this have no integrity or dignity; there is no meaning to their existence!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). Pondering God’s words, I understood that marriage is not the most important thing in life, and that believing in God, gaining the truth, and knowing God are what make life meaningful. In the last days, God incarnate has come among humans and expressed so much truth in order to grant us eternal life. But I only focused on temporary physical enjoyment. I was unwilling to suffer and pay a price to gain the truth and the life, and I always craved physical comfort. What could I gain in the end by living this way? When the great catastrophes come, who would be able to save me? To gain the truth, one must suffer and pay a price, for it is impossible to enter the kingdom of heaven being carried on a velvet cushion. In the past, I thought marriage was beautiful, and that spending your life with someone who loves you made life meaningful, but now I realized that I’d been too naive. Wenbin and I were on different paths. Wenbin didn’t believe in God, he worshiped science and material enjoyment, and he sought ways to make money and live a superior life. Whereas I believed in being content with just having enough food and drink to live, and that people should pursue the truth and seek to live out real human likenesses in life, fulfill the duties of created beings, and gain the Creator’s approval. Our views and the things we were pursuing in life were completely different, so we had no common ground. Even though he was very considerate and caring toward me, I still felt pain inside and lived feeling really repressed. When with him, I had to attend gatherings and read God’s words in secret, for fear that he would argue with me because of my belief in God, and I felt extremely constrained and exhausted inside. God’s words made me understand that the most important things in life are for a person to pursue the truth, to fulfill the duty of a created being, and to complete the mission given by the Creator. Such a person is seen as precious in the eyes of the Creator, and lives a meaningful and valuable life. Just like Peter, he spent his life focused on pursuing the truth and fulfilling his duty to satisfy God, and in the end, he received God’s approval. After understanding this, I was even more certain that choosing to believe in God was the correct choice. I then actively devoted myself to the ranks of those doing their duties.

After some time, Wenbin and his parents suddenly came to my house. Wenbin, with tears streaming down his face, said, “I can’t let go of this relationship, but I just can’t accept your faith. For my sake, can’t you give up your faith? Let’s live a good life together.” His parents also urged me to give up my faith. I realized that this was another choice I had to make. I calmed down and thought, “If Wenbin truly loves me, as long as I am happy, he should support me no matter what I do. If believing in God makes me happy, he would support me. But Wenbin doesn’t allow me to believe in God. Is this true love? No, I can’t compromise.” So, I calmly stated my position, “I want to believe in God, and I won’t regret my choice.” Before leaving, Wenbin asked me why I didn’t choose him, and he wondered if he hadn’t been good enough to me. I said, “No, you have been good to me. In the past, I thought marriage was wonderful, and a big part of life, but after finding God, I understood that getting married is not the most important thing in life. If I chose to give up my faith to be with you, though on the surface, life may seem easy and harmonious, with physical enjoyment, what would be the meaning of living life this way? Wouldn’t I be living like a soulless corpse? Is life just about eating, drinking, and having fun, waiting to die? What value would such a life have? You pursue physical enjoyment and a life of superiority, but these are not the things I want. I seek to live a true life, to live out a real human likeness, and to receive the Creator’s approval. We are walking different paths, and we will never reach the same destination.” Wenbin fell silent after hearing this, and our relationship came to an end.

Later, I reflected on why I was so distressed when faced with the choice between marriage and faith. I came across a passage of God’s words: “Pernicious influences that thousands of years of ‘the lofty spirit of nationalism’ have left deep in the human heart, as well as the feudal thinking by which people are bound and chained, without an iota of freedom, with no will to aspire or persevere, no desire to make progress, remaining instead negative and regressive, entrenched in a slave mentality, and so on—these objective factors have imparted an indelibly filthy and ugly cast to the ideological outlook, ideals, morality, and disposition of humanity. Humans, it would seem, are living in a dark world of terrorism, which none among them seeks to transcend, and none among them thinks of moving on to an ideal world; rather, they are content with their lot in life, to spend their days bearing and raising children, striving, sweating, going about their chores, dreaming of a comfortable and happy family, and dreaming of conjugal affection, of filial children, of joy in their twilight years as they peacefully live out their lives…. For tens, thousands, tens of thousands of years until now, people have been squandering their time in this way, with no one creating a perfect life, all intent only on mutual slaughter in this dark world, on the race for fame and fortune, and on intriguing against one another. Who has ever sought after God’s intentions? Has anyone ever heeded the work of God? All the parts of humanity occupied by the influence of darkness have long since become human nature, and so it is quite difficult to carry out the work of God, and people have even less heart to pay attention to what God has entrusted to them today” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Work and Entry (3)). After reading God’s words, I understood why it was so difficult for me to choose between marriage and faith. I’d been indoctrinated from a young age by TV dramas that had taught me, “Life is precious; love even more so,” and “Love is supreme.” These ideas had influenced and poisoned my mind. I thought that the happiest thing in life was to find someone who loved you and for you both to grow old together and support one another. Especially when I saw the female leads being cared for by the male leads in every way, I thought they were very happy, and I fallaciously believed that finding someone who loved you meant your life wasn’t being lived in vain. After I found God, Wenbin strongly opposed it, and he asked me to choose between him and my faith. This filled me with feelings of pain and conflict, and I thought that if I couldn’t spend my life with someone who loved me, then my life would have no value or meaning. By eating and drinking God’s words, I finally understood that love and marriage are not the most meaningful things. Just like how even though Wenbin was always thoughtful and caring toward me, I still often felt empty and helpless, and it was only by reading God’s words that my heart found comfort. I realized that the emptiness of the heart cannot be filled by material enjoyment or the care of a partner. Ideas like “Love is supreme” and “Life is precious; love even more so” are all Satan’s devilish words to deceive people, and Satan tries to use these to tempt and deceive us, making us blindly pursue love and marriage, and treat these things as the right things to pursue, ultimately causing us to stray from God, betray God, and lose our chance at salvation. If it hadn’t been for the enlightenment and guidance of God’s words, I would have chosen marriage and missed my chance at God’s salvation. Thinking about this, my resolve to follow and believe in God became even more resolute.

Through Wenbin repeatedly standing in the way of my faith, I gradually saw through to his essence. Wenbin appeared gentle, approachable, and friendly, but he was an atheist, and whenever he heard about my faith, he would get angry, and his eyes would turn red. His words and revelations were filled with hostility, and he had the essence of a demon. As God said, “All those who do not believe, as well as the ones who do not practice truth, are demons!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). A normal person, even if they do not accept faith, will not be hostile. Only demons hate God, and Wenbin truly had the essence of a demon. I then read God’s words: “Why does a husband love his wife? Why does a wife love her husband? Why are children dutiful to their parents? Why do parents dote on their children? What sorts of intentions do people actually harbor? Is their intent not to satisfy their own plans and selfish desires?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). From God’s words, I understood that the relationships between people are all based on interests and transactions, and that there is no true love. Wenbin’s kindness toward me was really just for his own benefit, because I didn’t spend money recklessly like other girls, nor did I have any bad habits. I was also good to his parents, I worked hard for his family, and I wasn’t afraid to get my hands dirty or break a sweat. These things benefited him. But when he found out that I believed in God, he worried that, given that I’d found God, I wouldn’t earn money with him, and so as these things involved his interests, he began to feel resistant. Whenever anything related to faith came up, he would scold and belittle me, without considering my feelings at all. I hadn’t married him yet, and I hadn’t really impacted his interests, and yet he was already treating me like this. After we married, once I began to dedicate myself to my duty, he would be sure to obstruct and persecute me more, and we might have even ended up divorcing. How could there be any happiness with someone who prioritizes personal interests and hates God?

After breaking up with Wenbin, I felt much more at ease in my heart, and I could read God’s words, attend gatherings, and do my duties without constraints. I thought about how being able to witness God’s appearance in my lifetime, accept being cleansed and perfected by God’s words, and fulfill the duty of a created being is truly a great blessing, and my heart felt full of sweetness and joy. Now I can fully dedicate myself to my faith and my duty. This is God’s love and salvation for me, and I thank God from the bottom of my heart!