By Isabella, France

In August 2021 I started practicing as a church leader. In my interactions with Lillian, who was in charge of the gospel work, I noticed she often made a big deal out of small problems people had, and told everyone about them. She couldn’t work well with others and she was always saying things that went against the facts. Once in a gathering, she said the previous church leader didn’t focus on gospel work and never asked her how her work was going. But in fact, that leader was always following up on her work. Also, she reported to our leader that the work was going really well, creating the impression that things were proceeding normally. Actually, though, she didn’t get any real work done. In one gathering, she kept stressing the difficulties in her work, saying the gospel workers were no good, but when I looked into the details, I found there was lots of work she hadn’t done, so she had no basis for saying that. I called her out for not doing real work and shifting the blame. She didn’t say anything in response. I thought she’d do some self-reflection, but surprisingly, she sent my partner, Maya, a message saying she wanted nothing to do with me anymore, that I pruned her without basis when I saw a problem and didn’t understand her actual difficulties. She also said she couldn’t be like me, but had to treat the brothers and sisters with love and patience. When I read this, I was just stunned for a moment. There were so many problems in her duty. I was just pointing them out—it was nowhere near pruning her. How could she say I pruned her without basis? That’s not what happened. How could she be so slippery and deceitful? I wanted to explain things to Maya, but I got halfway through a message to her then hesitated. If I sent a message explaining or describing Lillian’s issues, Maya might think I lacked self-awareness in the face of problems, and didn’t treat people right. At that thought, I didn’t send the message. I heard afterward that Lillian used opening up her heart to others as a pretext for saying that I baselessly pruned her without knowing the background, and it had made her feel negative. Hearing about this was really upsetting for me. I didn’t know how I could check on her work in the future, and I felt like she was really hard to get along with. A couple days later, because of work needs, we wanted to transfer a few people from the scope of Lillian’s responsibilities to go do watering work. Surprisingly, the moment I told her, she said, looking sour, “If you want to transfer them, just do it. I don’t care. I’m sure to have poor results in any case.” Later she said to me openly that she had an issue with the sister in charge of watering work, and that’s why she didn’t agree with the transfer. She also said that no one could blame her for coming down hard on that sister if she caused more problems. Hearing the threat in her words, I felt like she wasn’t just hard to get along with, but lacked humanity, and I had to be careful when I followed up on her work, or else she’d find something to use against me.

Once, an upper leader assigned us to do cleansing work, to investigate and learn whether the church had evil people or antichrists, and if any came to light, to expel them from the church. Lillian came to mind. Her humanity was poor and she refused to accept the truth. She held a grudge against anyone who mentioned problems to her, and would distort things, turning black into white and spreading her bias behind their back. I thought I should look into her general behavior. But then I thought about how resistant Lillian was to me looking into her work, and how she had said behind my back that I pruned her baselessly. If I went to collect assessments of her this time, would the brothers and sisters think I was using that chance to get my own back on her? Would my partner think that I loved status too much, and that I’d look for chances to make anyone who pointed out my problems pay? Then everyone would be afraid of me and avoid me, and it would be a big problem if they tried to discern my issues and reported me as a false leader. I figured, forget it. I could take care of it after someone else discerned her problems. Otherwise, if I was the primary one speaking out about this, it could be misunderstood. So, I didn’t bring up the issue. Before long, Maya mentioned that Lillian’s humanity was poor and wanted to look into her behavior. I felt both happy and a little guilty when she said that. I already knew that about Lillian, and I should have investigated her behavior right away, but I didn’t deal with it because I was worried people would think I was getting my own back on her. I wasn’t protecting the church’s work. But at least someone else had said something, so I didn’t need to worry about it anymore. After collecting assessments of Lillian, we saw that most people who had written them didn’t know her very well and provided very little information. Just a few people noticed her problems. I knew the right thing to do under these circumstances was to seek out people who had interacted with her over the long term, but I was concerned others would say I was targeting her out of personal animus, so I didn’t want to say anything. At that point, Maya said we should keep an eye on how things went, and I didn’t say anything further.

Later I found out that other brothers and sisters had given Lillian suggestions and she not only wouldn’t accept them, but hit back with false countercharges. Once, a waterer gave Lillian some feedback that some of the people the gospel workers preached to didn’t fit the principles and lacked humanity. Lillian not only refused to accept that, but aired her bias and grievances in front of the gospel workers. She said they were all following the principles in their duty, but since the waterers hadn’t clearly fellowshipped on the truth with the people the gospel workers had worked so hard to convert, some new believers had been misled by rumors and then dropped out. In a gathering, Maya and I fellowshipped on and dissected the essence of this problem, in relation to Lillian’s behavior. We fellowshipped with her several more times after that. I thought she’d self-reflect, but she just wouldn’t budge, and kept spreading her prejudices against the waterers. She said she was feeling negative and didn’t know how she could do her job. Because of the discord she sowed, some gospel workers and waterers were grumbling to each other, and there wasn’t any harmonious cooperation. I knew Lillian wasn’t suited to be a supervisor and she should be dismissed right away. I really regretted not having quickly investigated and dismissed her from the start. I knew she lacked humanity, but I gave her more chances to keep disrupting the church’s work. I felt awful. I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me to self-reflect and know myself.

In my seeking, I saw that God’s words say: “When people take no responsibility toward their duties, do them in a perfunctory manner, act like people pleasers, and do not defend the interests of the house of God, what disposition is this? This is cunningness, it is the disposition of Satan. The most prominent aspect of man’s philosophies for worldly dealings is cunningness. People think that if they are not cunning, they will be liable to offend others and unable to protect themselves; they think that they must be cunning enough not to hurt or offend anyone, thereby keeping themselves safe, protecting their livelihoods, and gaining a firm foothold among other people. Nonbelievers all live by Satan’s philosophies. They are all people pleasers and do not offend anyone. You have come to the house of God, read the word of God, and listened to the sermons of God’s house, so why are you unable to practice the truth, speak from the heart, and be an honest person? Why are you always a people pleaser? People pleasers only protect their own interests, and not the interests of the church. When they see someone do evil and harm the church’s interests, they ignore it. They like to be people pleasers, and do not offend anyone. This is irresponsible, and that kind of person is too cunning and untrustworthy” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). I understood from the revelation of God’s words that I had avoided offending Lillian in an effort to maintain my image and status, and I hadn’t stood up for the church when I saw her disrupting its work. Instead, I was trying to be a people-pleaser by turning a blind eye. That was irresponsible, cunning behavior. Nonbelievers live by satanic philosophies to protect their own interests. They carefully observe others when speaking and see which way the wind is blowing—they’re sly and deceitful in that way. In my duty, I had the same attitude as a nonbeliever. I clearly saw that Lillian’s humanity was no good and she had already become disruptive to church work. She should have been dismissed. But I didn’t want the others to think I was just getting my own back on her, so I avoided the issue by trying not to do anything that could arouse suspicion, and I put off handling Lillian. I wanted to wait until other brothers and sisters gained discernment over her. Wanting to protect my reputation and status, and despite knowing she was disrupting church work, I still preferred to let the church’s interests be harmed rather than observing the principles, exposing her, and properly dealing with the situation. I was really crafty, selfish, and despicable. At this thought I felt regretful and guilty. I knew that I couldn’t keep on turning a blind eye. I had to handle the issue of Lillian in line with church principles, and stop simply protecting my own interests.

Maya and I went to talk to Lillian after that, exposing how she twisted things and arbitrarily spread her prejudices about others, hurting relationships between the brothers and sisters, and that this had disrupted the work of the church. To my surprise, she didn’t accept any of this but lashed back instead, indignantly saying, “I shared issues with you, and instead of resolving them you used them to find fault with me. I see you don’t do any real work at all.” Seeing how overbearing she was being, with absolutely no self-awareness, we dissected with her the nature and consequences of her words and actions, drawing on the relevant words of God. But she wouldn’t take any of it in—she kept arguing back and justifying herself.

Afterward, I read two passages of God’s words that helped me understand Lillian’s essence. God’s words say: “Anyone who often disturbs church life and the life entry of God’s chosen people is a disbeliever and an evil person, and they must be cleared out from the church. Regardless of who the person is or how they have acted in the past, if they often disturb the work of the church and church life, refuse being pruned, and always defend themselves with flawed reasoning, they must be cleared out from the church. This approach is entirely for the sake of maintaining the normal progression of church work and protecting the interests of God’s chosen people, fully aligning with the truth principles and God’s intentions” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (14)). “No matter what mistakes they have made or bad things they have done, those people with vicious dispositions will not allow anyone to expose them or prune them. Should someone expose and offend them, they will become enraged, retaliate, and never let the issue drop. They have no patience and tolerance for other people, and do not exercise forbearance toward them. What principle is their conduct based on? ‘I would rather betray than be betrayed.’ In other words, they do not tolerate being offended by anyone. Is this not the logic of evil people? This is exactly the logic of evil people. No one is allowed to offend them. To them, it is unacceptable for anyone to trigger them in even the slightest way, and they hate anyone who does so. They will keep going after that person and never let the matter go—that is how evil people are” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (14)). I saw from God’s words that evil people have a vicious disposition and won’t accept the truth one bit. They detest anyone who exposes and points out their problems, seeing them as the enemy, and they may even strike back in revenge. I held Lillian up against that. She never self-reflected or learned about herself when confronted with problems, and she hated anyone who gave her suggestions, seeing them as her enemy. Meanwhile, she twisted the truth, turned black into white and spread prejudices and complaints about others, provoking problems in brothers and sisters’ relationships. This led to disharmony, which disrupted and hindered the gospel work. Others gave her pointers and helped her many times, but she wouldn’t accept what they said. She responded with hostility and made false countercharges, without a shred of remorse. By her nature, she hated and was averse to the truth. She had been shown to be an evil person, and if we let her stay on in the church, it would just bring more trouble to the church’s work. And so, Maya and I fellowshipped with the brothers and sisters about our discernment of Lillian’s behavior, in accordance with principles, and dismissed her after a vote. We assigned her to isolate and self-reflect, and would clear her out if there were any further disturbances.

Later on, a succession of brothers and sisters said that it was really constraining to work with Lillian. She was always castigating people, and lots of people were scared of her. Everyone got ready beforehand whenever she was coming to look into their work, worried about being reprimanded for anything they couldn’t properly account for. I felt really uneasy. Lillian had done so much wickedness, hurting the brothers and sisters so much. I was a church leader, but on discovering an evil person I had failed to handle it. In which case, what was I for? I wasn’t getting real work done. For a few days I pondered why it was that I could properly handle other evil people and antichrists, yet avoided and didn’t wish to handle the matter of Lillian. I read some of God’s words: “No matter what they’re doing, antichrists first consider their own interests, and they only act once they’ve thought it all out; they do not truly, sincerely, and absolutely submit to the truth without compromise, but do so selectively and conditionally. What condition is this? It is that their status and reputation must be safeguarded, and must not suffer any loss. Only after this condition is satisfied will they decide and choose what to do. That is, antichrists give serious consideration to how to treat the truth principles, God’s commissions, and the work of God’s house, or how to deal with the things they face. They do not consider how to satisfy God’s intentions, how to keep from damaging the interests of God’s house, how to satisfy God, or how to benefit the brothers and sisters; these are not the things they consider. What do antichrists consider? Whether their own status and reputation will be affected, and whether their prestige will be lowered. If doing something according to the truth principles benefits the work of the church and the brothers and sisters, but would cause their own reputation to suffer and cause many people to realize their true stature and know what sort of nature essence they have, then they will definitely not act in accordance with the truth principles. If doing some real work will cause more people to think highly of them, look up to them and admire them, allow them to gain even greater prestige, or enable their words to carry authority and make more people submit to them, then they will choose to do it that way; otherwise, they will never choose to disregard their own interests out of consideration for the interests of God’s house or of the brothers and sisters. This is the nature essence of antichrists. Isn’t it selfish and despicable?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). “If someone says they love the truth and that they pursue the truth, but in essence, the goal they pursue is to distinguish themselves, to show off, to make people think highly of them, to achieve their own interests, and the performing of their duty is not to submit to or satisfy God, and instead is to achieve fame, gain, and status, then their pursuit is illegitimate. That being the case, when it comes to the work of the church, are their actions an obstacle, or do they help move it forward? They are clearly an obstacle; they do not move it forward. Some people wave the banner of doing the work of the church yet pursue their own personal fame, gain, and status, run their own operation, create their own little group, their own little kingdom—is this kind of person doing their duty? All the work they do essentially disrupts, disturbs, and impairs the work of the church. What is the consequence of their pursuit of fame, gain, and status? First, this affects how God’s chosen people eat and drink God’s word normally and understand the truth, it hinders their life entry, stops them from entering the right track of faith in God, and leads them onto the wrong path—which harms the chosen ones, and brings them to ruin. And what does it ultimately do to the work of the church? It is disturbance, impairment, and dismantlement. This is the consequence brought about by people’s pursuit of fame, gain, and status” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part One)). God’s words reveal that antichrists only consider their own reputation and status in their actions. If they can get something done that will improve their reputation, an antichrist will do just that. If doing things according to principle could damage their reputation or status, an antichrist will cast the principles aside and only think about what would protect their personal interests, what would benefit them. They’re particularly selfish and vile. And hadn’t I, too, been acting like an antichrist? I’d long since found out that Lillian was a person of poor humanity, and that she didn’t pursue the truth. She hated anyone who gave her suggestions, finding fault with them and using that to judge and attack them, and she was going to carry on hindering the church’s work if not immediately replaced. But because she had something against me, I was worried the brothers and sisters would think I was just taking revenge by investigating her. They might even think of me as a false leader. I felt my position would be threatened. And because of Lillian’s disposition, I was worried that if I dismissed her, she’d denigrate me behind my back or find some pretext for condemning or reporting me. I felt that handling her could only be to my detriment, and could easily impact my reputation and position, so instead I adopted a wait-and-see attitude and did nothing. I really was crafty and selfish. When I’d previously discovered people who should be cleared out or expelled during cleansing work, I’d been able to handle it according to principle. That’s because I didn’t know most of them. Most importantly, they didn’t constitute a threat to my reputation and status. If I had them cleared out or expelled from the church, the brothers and sisters would consider me a leader who understood the truth and had discernment, and who did real work. But when handling Lillian, a problem which directly involved my own position, I simply buried my head in the sand, trying to protect my own interests. Previously, I’d stuck to the principles because my personal interests were not at stake, rather than because I genuinely wanted to do the church’s work well. I realized from God’s words that working to protect personal prestige and status is basically a way of sabotaging and disrupting church work. It hinders the normal progression of the work. Wanting to protect my reputation and position, I failed to promptly handle an evil person. The nature of that problem is really serious. It’s not just a minor instance of revealing corruption, it’s actually harboring an evil person, indulging her disruption of the church’s work. That’s acting as Satan’s minion and is also doing evil. These words of God were especially poignant: “You should isolate or clear out evil people as soon as you discover that they have the essence of evil people, before they can do any great evil. This will minimize the damage they do; it is the wise choice. If leaders and workers wait until an evil person causes some kind of disaster to handle them, they are being passive. That would prove that the leaders and workers are very foolish, and have no principles to their actions” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (14)). Thinking over God’s words made me feel terrible, and very guilty. As a leader, my job was to protect God’s chosen people from oppression and disruption by evil people, and to safeguard the normal life of the church so that its work can proceed in a proper and orderly way. But when an evil person appeared in the church, I dragged my feet and did nothing. I wasn’t fulfilling a leader’s responsibilities, which led to the brothers and sisters being constrained and attacked by the evil person, and their life entry being harmed. Church work was also disrupted. What I’d done was abhorrent to God!

Later on, I kept mulling things over. I knew that when an evil person was disrupting the work of the church, it was in line with the principles to handle the matter quickly. So why was I afraid that others would misread the situation and say I was tormenting her? And what really is tormenting someone? I read this in God’s words: “What other manifestations are common when antichrists work? (Antichrists suppress and torment people for the sake of their own status.) It is a most common thing for antichrists to torment other people, and it is one of their concrete manifestations. In order to maintain their status, antichrists are always demanding that everyone obey and heed them. If they find that someone does not heed them or is antipathetic and resistant toward them, they will adopt the tactics of suppressing and tormenting that person, in order to subdue them. Antichrists often suppress those whose opinions are different from their own. They often suppress people who pursue the truth and loyally do their duties. They often suppress people of relative decency and uprightness who do not flatter or toady up to them. They suppress those who do not get along with or yield to them. Antichrists do not treat others based on the truth principles. They cannot treat people fairly. When they take a dislike to someone, when someone seems to have not yielded to them at heart, they find chances and excuses, and even come up with various pretexts, to attack and torment that person, going so far as to take up the banner of doing the church work to suppress them. They do not relent until people have become pliant and dare not say no to them; they do not relent until people have acknowledged their status and power, greet them with a smile, express endorsement and compliance toward them, and do not dare to get any ideas about them. In any situation, in any group, the word ‘fairness’ does not exist in an antichrist’s treatment of others, and the word ‘loving’ does not exist in their treatment of brothers and sisters who truly believe in God. They regard whoever constitutes a threat to their status as a nail in their eye and a thorn in their side, and they will find chances and pretexts to torment them. If that person does not yield, they torment them, and do not stop until that person is subdued. Antichrists doing this is very out of line with the truth principles, and in enmity with the truth, so should they be pruned? Not only that—nothing less than exposing, discerning, and classifying them will do. An antichrist treats everyone according to their own preferences, their own intents and aims. Under their authority, whoever has a sense of justice, whoever can speak fairly, whoever dares to fight injustice, whoever holds to the truth principles, whoever is genuinely talented and learned, whoever can bear testimony to God—all such people will meet with the antichrist’s jealousy, and they will be suppressed, excluded, and even trampled beneath the antichrist’s foot to the point they cannot rise again. Such is the hatred with which an antichrist treats good people and those who pursue the truth. It can be said that more or less the majority of those whom an antichrist feels jealous of and suppresses are positive figures and good people. Most of them are people whom God will save, whom God can make use of, whom God will make perfect. In employing such tactics of suppression and exclusion against those whom God will save, use, and make perfect, are antichrists not opponents of God? Are they not people who resist God?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eleven). Pondering God’s words, I realized that tormenting someone, and adhering to the principles, are two distinct matters. We have to consider the underlying motives for our action, and we also have to consider if the way we treat someone has a basis in God’s words. If we identify someone as being an evil person or an antichrist, based on the truth principles, then clearing out or expelling them is ridding the church of a scourge, in accordance with the principles. It’s not tormenting. But when antichrists and evil people suppress and torment others, it comes entirely from their vicious motives. They’re jealous of those who pursue the truth and have a sense of justice. They hate those who have discernment over them and dare to call them out. They eliminate dissenters to protect their own power and status. They leap upon others’ slightest issue and make a big deal out of it. They twist facts and slander others, leveling all sorts of accusations against them to get them cleared out or expelled. Their motives and intentions are entirely inimical to the truth and to God. They are condemned and damned by God. I was exposing and dismissing Lillian based on my discernment of her as an evil person, in accordance with God’s words. It wasn’t because of a personal grudge, and I wasn’t tormenting her. I was seeing things superficially and didn’t understand what tormenting really was. I felt that handling an issue concerning someone who had a grudge against me amounted to tormenting them. I didn’t consider whether they were an evil person and what role they played in the church. As a result of my mistaken perspective, I was immobilized. How foolish! Coming to understand all this felt like a great release.

After that, I intentionally practiced doing my duty according to the principles. Especially in the case of cleansing work, if it was determined that someone was a candidate for being cleared out or expelled, whether they had something against me or not, I’d handle it according to principles. When I put that into practice I felt much more at peace. I’ve personally experienced that in doing a duty, we have to set aside concerns about reputation and status, uphold the principles and protect the church’s work, and in this way feel peace and joy.