89. A Battle Against Brainwashing
By Zhao Liang, China
I was arrested by the Chinese Communist Party police for my faith when I was 19. They put me through 60 days of torture and brainwashing to get me to deny God and sell out my brothers and sisters. That experience was really seared into my heart. I’ll never forget it.
On my way to a gathering that morning, I noticed three cars parked nearby when I was nearly there. I felt a little uneasy. There usually weren’t that many cars there. I told the brothers and sisters about it the moment I arrived and we realized our gathering was no longer safe. We started discussing changing locations. Pretty soon, four strangers came into the courtyard, saying they were with the National Security Brigade and were inspecting the house for hidden explosives. They forcefully held us down on the sofa and searched us and, finding nothing, they put me and another brother in one of their cars. They took us to the police station, where the police took us into the basement and locked us up separately. This arrest out of the blue just felt like it was in a dream and I had no idea how the police would treat me. I was kind of afraid and prayed to God nonstop, asking Him to give me faith. I thought of several lines from a hymn of God’s words we’d sung a lot, “The Transcendence and Greatness of the Almighty.” “Everything of this world swiftly changes with the Almighty’s thoughts and beneath His eyes. Things mankind has never heard of suddenly arrive, whereas things that mankind has long possessed unknowingly slip away. No one can fathom the Almighty’s whereabouts, much less can anyone sense the transcendence and greatness of the Almighty’s life force” (Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). I said this prayer to God: “Almighty God, I thank and praise You! You rule over everything in the universe and my fate rests in Your hands. You allowed the police to arrest me today. No matter how they torture me or how much I suffer, I want to stand witness, to never betray You and become a Judas.”
When 4:00 p.m. rolled around, the police took me out to a remote compound with a row of four-story buildings in the courtyard, that looked like a hotel. Lots of brothers and sisters had said that the police send detainees to hotels for secret interrogation and torture. I couldn’t help but wonder if they were about to torture me, too. It was a pretty desolate place. They could kill me and no one would be the wiser. My fear grew as I thought about it and I silently called out to God over and over. They took me into a room on the fourth floor, and the head of the Criminal Police Brigade said, feigning niceness, “What’s your name? Where do you live?” I asked him, “Why did you arrest me? Why have you brought me here?” He said, “This is a legal education course specially to educate and convert believers. We got you because we know all about you. Otherwise, we’d take someone else. The Church of Almighty God is a major national target, it’s to be wiped out. Believers in Almighty God are bound to be arrested.” “Isn’t freedom of belief in the constitution?” I asked. Smirking, he said, “Freedom of belief? That has its limits. In your faith, you have to listen to the Party and follow its rules to get our support. By believing in Almighty God, you’re pitting yourself against the Party. How could we not arrest you?” I shot back, “We just read Almighty God’s words and share the gospel to bear witness to God. We’re never engaged in politics at all. How could you claim that we’re pitting ourselves against the Party? Almighty God says, ‘God does not partake in the politics of man, yet the fate of a country or nation is controlled by God. God controls this world and the entire universe. The fate of man and the plan of God are intimately connected, and no man, country or nation is exempt from the sovereignty of God. If man wishes to know his fate, then he must come before God. God shall cause those who follow and worship Him to prosper and shall bring decline and extinction upon those who resist and reject Him’ (“God Presides Over the Fate of All Mankind” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words are very clear. He rules the universe and has the fate of all nations and peoples in His hands, but God doesn’t interfere in politics. God incarnate has come to earth in the last days mainly to express the truth and do judgment work so people can understand the truth, cast off their corrupt satanic dispositions, and be saved.” The officer cut me off impatiently before I could finish, and said all sorts of things blaspheming The Church of Almighty God. He advised me to give up my faith. No matter what he said, I stayed calm before God, asking Him to protect me from Satan’s tricks.
Around midday on the third day, they called me back to the meeting room. An officer introduced himself, saying he was the National Security Brigade captain and also worked in education and conversion. He asked my name, residence, and the church’s information. I refused to talk, so he had me extend my left hand and put it on the table, palm up, then flicked ashes into my hand as he smoked, saying, “You should know that with today’s technology, we’ll find out whether you talk or not. Are you a moron? I was giving you a chance. The tip of my cigarette is about 800 degrees Fahrenheit. Want to see what that feels like?” He took two hard drags on it, then burned the palm of my hand with its glowing red tip. When I yanked it back in pain, another officer held my arm down forcefully. My palm was burning with sharp pains as he applied his cigarette tip over and over. Sweat was rolling down my forehead. Feeling a little weak, I said my own name. They stopped torturing me at that point, but made me watch videos and read hearsay condemning and blaspheming The Church of Almighty God.
At midday on the fifth day, they had me watch news broadcasts about the Shandong Zhaoyuan case and then asked me what I thought. I said, “They’re not with The Church of Almighty God. No one with my Church would do something like that. We have principles in sharing the gospel. We only share it with kind-hearted people who believe there is a God, not with the evil. Awful people like Zhang Lidong don’t remotely meet our standards for sharing the gospel. God doesn’t recognize them as believers and the Church would never acknowledge them.” Seeing my faith hadn’t been shaken, he said, “We’ve arrested all your leaders, and we’ll find out everything from questioning them. We don’t need to waste our time with you. We wanted to save you, seeing how young you are.” I thought, “It’s all lies. They’re just trying to get me to betray God. No matter what they say, I’ll never sell out brothers and sisters. I’ll never betray God!” After seven that evening, a psychologist with the brainwashing class had me write reflections on the course. What I wrote was, “The Zhaoyuan incident wasn’t done by a believer in Almighty God. It was done by an evil demon. He will be punished by God for what he did.”
A little after nine, the National Security Brigade captain came in and was really unhappy with what I’d written. He came and lifted me from my stool with one hand, smacked me repeatedly with the other, and then kicked me to the floor. Then he dragged me up to the bed and started punching me. After a few punches, he picked up a wooden hanger, beating me all over with it and demanding information on the church. I kept quiet. Incensed by this, he ordered me to take all my clothing off. Seeing him looking so crazed frightened me. I silently prayed to God nonstop, asking Him to give me faith and strength. He yanked on me, forced me to disrobe and hit me a few more times with the hanger, then had two instructors hold me down on the bed. I’d thought that the instructors were hired by the cops, but had a conscience and wouldn’t go along with the police in torturing a teenager. I thought wrong. They pressed me down tightly, completely immobilizing me. That National Security Brigade captain burned my nipples with his cigarette like a lunatic, leaving them scorched in no time and filling the air with the smell of burnt flesh. I was drenched in sweat from the pain and my legs kept kicking. Then he started on my genitals while screaming, “Will you talk or what?” Crying out loudly in pain, I was overcome with just one thought: “I cannot betray God.” I was praying to God in my heart nonstop, begging Him to give me strength and faith so I could make it through that evil officer’s torture.
I stayed silent, so the captain said viciously, “You won’t be good unless I’m harder on you.” He turned around, picked up a thermos, and dumped a cup of boiled water on me. I screamed in pain. He said coldly, “Will you talk?” I said fearlessly, “I don’t know anything!” Infuriated after hearing that, he dumped two more cups of boiled water on my stomach. He saw I wasn’t in as much pain as before, so he touched my stomach and yelled that the water wasn’t hot. He then turned around and ordered to have a pot of water boiled. Then he got an evil grin on his face and said, “In a moment you’ll get a taste of boiling hot water being poured on your body.” I couldn’t help but feel scared when I heard this and thought about how the hot water before had been cooler than that. If I had truly boiling water poured on me, would I be able to take it? Nervous and afraid, I silently prayed to God: “Almighty God, please give me faith and strength. I want to stand witness and not betray You or sell out brothers and sisters.” I thought of God’s words after my prayer: “Faith is like a single log bridge: Those who cling abjectly to life will have difficulty in crossing it, but those who are ready to sacrifice themselves can pass over, sure of foot and worry-free” (“Chapter 6” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh). I thought over God’s words and realized that having timid and fearful thoughts was falling prey to Satan’s tricks, and I saw I didn’t have true faith in God. I had to put my life on the line and lean on God in every moment to stand witness. This understanding gave me the faith I needed to face the torture awaiting me.
Just then, he lit a cigarette and took two long drags, stood in front of me and said, smiling wickedly, “Sit tight, the water’s almost ready!” As he spoke, he placed the tip of his cigarette on my chest right where I’d been scalded by the water. I kept trying to pull back from the pain. The water was boiling seven or eight minutes later. Seeing the water bubbling and emitting steam from the kettle, my scalp started tingling, I was shuddering, and all my hair was standing on end. He carried the kettle over, opened the lid, and came close to me. I could feel the steam on my body. Then he pressed the hot water kettle right against my stomach. I felt a searing pain and instinctively cried out. He took that opportunity to ask me again if I’d talk, and seeing me stay quiet, he grabbed a cup, filled it with water, and splashed it on my chest. It hurt so much that I leaped up, and he kept splashing me with hot water until the kettle was empty. I couldn’t stop shaking, and the entire front of my body was covered in blisters from the burns. The biggest ones were the size of an egg. The instructors couldn’t bear the sight and wanted to leave, so he went straight to the door and locked them in, then yelled, “Don’t go, stay here and watch. See how I show him what’s what.” Then he told them to go boil more water. I couldn’t hold back my fear when I heard that. I thought, “There is more, and if the first pot of water has left me in that state, what will more burns do to me? Will I be able to stay strong?” I called out to God nonstop, asking Him for faith and strength. Then these words from God came to mind: “Those in power may seem vicious from the outside, but do not be afraid, for this is because you have little faith. As long as your faith grows, nothing will be too difficult” (“Chapter 75” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh). The police torturing me was happening with God’s permission. God wanted to perfect my faith. No matter how evil, how savage they were, it was still in God’s hands. As long as I prayed and leaned on God, I knew God would guide me to triumph over Satan’s torture. I didn’t feel as afraid anymore and I had the faith to keep facing the torment.
Before long, the second pot had boiled. He brought it over, filled a cup with hot water, brought it over in front of me, and started splashing my genitals with it. I yelled out from the pain and couldn’t help but pull back. He took a few steps forward and kept questioning me, but I still refused to answer. He held a cup full of hot water underneath my genitals and asked, “Will you talk, or not?” I didn’t say a word. He yanked the cup straight up so that my genitals were entirely submerged in it. I was screaming in pain and instinctively pulled back, trembling. I really couldn’t take it anymore and I was praying nonstop, asking God for strength, to keep me from betraying Him. Then I thought of something the Lord Jesus said: “For whoever will save his life shall lose it: and whoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it” (Matthew 16:25). I knew that if I sold out the others and betrayed God to avoid physical suffering, that would offend God’s disposition. I’d go to hell and suffer for eternity. Understanding that, I resolved that no matter how much I suffered, I’d clench my teeth and never betray God. That evil officer poured another two cups of hot water on my genitals and kept questioning me. I looked down and saw that the outer layer of skin on my genitals had been burned off and the two instructors couldn’t bear to look at me. Helpless, they said, “Son, just talk. What good is it to suffer this way?” I didn’t make a sound. The officer’s assistant walked in right then. He was stunned for a moment when he saw me. He turned his head to the side, walked over to me, and said, “Just confess. We’ve gotten lots of you people. Even if you don’t, someone else will. We’re giving you a chance.” I lowered my head and said nothing. Seeing me silent, the officer shouted, infuriated, “You guys back off. I’ll see how long he can take it!” He then poured a cup of hot water and splashed it on my chest again, leaving me crying out and leaping up in agony. As he threw hot water on me, those blisters on my body popped and the skin stuck to me. New blisters formed before long; the pain was unbearable. I started to weaken a bit. I thought, “They’ve arrested lots of brothers and sisters. Even if I don’t talk, someone else probably will. Why should I have to go through all this? I can just tell them a little bit so I don’t have to suffer this way.” I saw the officer had no intention of stopping and I had no idea if I’d be able to withstand what he had in store for me. But talking would make me a Judas. Just then I thought of these words from God: “Toward those who showed Me not the slightest loyalty during times of tribulation, I shall be merciful no more, for My mercy only extends so far. I have no liking, furthermore, for anyone who has once betrayed Me, much less do I like to associate with those who sell out the interests of their friends. This is My disposition, regardless of who the person may be” (“Prepare Sufficient Good Deeds for Your Destination” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God wanted nothing to do with those who sold out the interests of their friends. If I talked, wouldn’t that mean I’d betrayed God? I couldn’t say anything. Absolutely not. I said this silent prayer: “God, thank You for enlightening me and keeping me from selling out brothers and sisters. No matter how much I may suffer, I’ll never be a Judas.”
Seeing me silent, the National Security Brigade captain lit a cigarette and said with a sinister smile, “Let’s take it slow. We’ve got plenty of time,” all the while blowing smoke into my nose. After that, he picked up the cup and poured hot water over my head. I instinctively moved away, sending water down by my right ear and onto my back. I cried out in pain and my back felt like it was on fire. He dumped several more cups down from my stomach and splashed water onto my thighs. Blisters appeared immediately where he’d dumped the water. He had the instructors go boil another one when the kettle was empty. The third one was boiling after a few minutes. As I saw the steam rising from the kettle, I just couldn’t stop shaking. Grinning, he picked up the kettle and said, “Perfect!” Then he held it against my body again and said menacingly, “So will you talk, or not?” I didn’t answer, so he poured cup after cup of boiling water on me. I was overwhelmed with the pain. I saw he had no intention of stopping and I didn’t know how much longer I could last. I was in so much pain; I just wanted to die so I wouldn’t have to keep suffering that way and I wouldn’t sell anyone out because of my fleshly weakness. I looked around the room for a hard object I could do myself in with, but there was just a table and the walls were made of wood. I didn’t think I’d die by hitting my head just once, and then I’d have to endure more torture. I figured I could just say yes for now, then they’d take me to identify the others’ homes. Outside, I could jump out of the car to my death. Just as I was thinking this, the officer kept asking me if I’d talk and I nodded. I thought they’d take me to identify homes right away, but surprisingly, he asked me to tell him about the church. More than ten officers came in from downstairs. I felt kind of timid at that point. I’d just nodded, so if I didn’t say anything, would they use more brutal torture on me? I thought I could just say a church’s name and its approximate location. To my surprise, I gave him an inch, but he wanted a mile. He peppered me with more questions about the church, and I really regretted giving Satan that in. Wouldn’t I be a Judas if I kept on like that? I claimed ignorance when he asked me about other things. He couldn’t get anywhere with me, so he let me go back to my room. In my room, I thought to myself, “Why was I trying to die? Does God want me to die? Isn’t that a sign of weakness?” Then I remembered a hymn of God’s words, “Seek to Love God No Matter How Great Your Suffering.” “Today, most people believe that suffering is without value, they’re oppressed for their faith, they are renounced by the world, their home life is troubled, and their prospects are bleak. The suffering of some people reaches an extreme, and their thoughts turn to death. How does this show a God-loving heart? Such people are worthless, they have no perseverance, they are weak and powerless! … Thus, during these last days you must bear testimony to God. No matter how great your suffering, you should walk until the very end, and even at your last breath, still you must be faithful to God and at the mercy of God; only this is truly loving God, and only this is the strong and resounding testimony” (Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). As I thought over God’s words, I saw how cowardly, weak, and incapable I was. I wanted to die because of my fleshly weakness, because I feared suffering. That couldn’t glorify God. That wasn’t true testimony. Before my arrest, I’d sworn before God that if I ever was arrested and persecuted by the Chinese Communist Party, I wanted to stand witness like the other brothers and sisters. I’d never betray God, be a Judas. But when something happened to me, in the face of police torture, I just thought about how I could get out of the situation. I didn’t think about how to stand witness and satisfy God. I realized I didn’t have any true faith or submission to God. The officers were torturing me so that I’d betray God and lose my testimony. If I escaped that through death, wouldn’t I become Satan’s laughingstock? At this thought, I was filled with regret over my weakness. How could I have loosened my tongue? God gave me a chance to stand witness, but I didn’t seize hold of it. This was hurtful and disappointing for God. I set my resolve that if they wanted me to identify houses, I wouldn’t go. No matter how they tortured me, I would lean on God and stand witness!
At 6:30 a.m. the next morning, the director of the municipal anti-cult office saw how badly injured I was and had someone take me to the hospital so they wouldn’t be held responsible. On the way to the hospital, he warned me sinisterly, “Don’t say a word at the hospital, or you’ll be responsible for the consequences!” Hearing that made me incredibly angry. They were intimidating me and wouldn’t let me tell the truth even after hurting me that badly. It was evil and despicable! The doctor asked me how I’d gotten all those burns and I knew that even if I did tell him the truth, he couldn’t do anything. I said it was from a thermos breaking. Disbelieving, he asked, “A broken thermos did all this?” The officer pulled the doctor aside right away and whispered briefly to him, after which the doctor started dressing my wounds, and said I needed to be an inpatient. The officer said it was a special situation and I couldn’t stay, and made me sign a form accepting full liability. Then he took me right back to the brainwashing center. My injuries were too serious to attend classes, but the police didn’t like that, so they’d send two people to watch over me and brainwash me every day. They tried both hard and soft tactics to get me to give up my faith.
Seventeen days later, before my wounds had healed, they sent me back to class. They had a university professor and a psychologist who feigned friendliness, saying nice things and trying to get close to me and get me to talk. I called out to God over and over asking Him to protect me from Satan’s tricks. I shared testimony to God with them. They got angry when they saw I wasn’t falling for it. Over the next few days, they made me read books they’d written that blasphemed our church and watch some blasphemous videos. All those lies they’d created out of thin air left me indignant and nauseated. I didn’t listen to a single thing they said.
One morning, the division director stormed into my living quarters with a few instructors. Seeing this unfold frightened me somewhat, so I said a silent prayer, asking God to give me wisdom so I could face those awful cops. He said menacingly, “We had a meeting yesterday about our Hundred-Day Battle against The Church of Almighty God. Sentences will be harsh. It will be even worse for young, single people like you. Especially the ones who won’t budge like you will go straight to the firing squad. They’ll blow your head off, blow your brains out.” I felt a bit of a panic when he said that but then I thought of the Lord Jesus’ words: “For whoever will save his life shall lose it: and whoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it” (Matthew 16:25). I knew that being martyred for God would be an honor, and would be commemorated by God. But betraying God for fear of death would offend His disposition and inspire His disgust. Even if my body went on living, I would be dead in God’s eyes. My soul would be eliminated by God and I’d be punished in hell. Countless believers have been persecuted and martyred over the ages. They all stood witness for God. Being martyred would be God elevating me. I was willing to submit to God’s arrangements and stand witness even if it meant death. When I kept quiet, the officer threatened me: “Do you want to go home, or to prison?” I very much wanted to go home, but I knew the price of that would be signing letters of repentance and cutting ties with the church. I said very resolutely, “Prison!” His eyes went wide with anger, then he pointed at me and said, “It looks like you haven’t really suffered!” Then he stormed off angrily.
After that, they found a pastor to come brainwash me. The moment he walked in, he said, “Son, you’re still young. Listen to me, you’re on the wrong path.” He opened up a Bible to Matthew 24:23–24, saying, “You say the Lord Jesus has already returned, but look at what it says in the Bible: ‘Then if any man shall say to you, See, here is Christ, or there; believe it not. For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall show great signs and wonders; so that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.’ Anyone saying the Lord has come is wrong. You can’t follow this.” I took the Bible and responded, “The Lord Jesus was warning us that when He returns in the last days, false Christs and false prophets will show great signs and wonders to mislead people. He told us to be on our guard. If you say all news of the Lord’s coming is false, aren’t you denying the fact of the Lord’s own return? False Christs don’t possess the truth. They just deceive people with signs and wonders. Almighty God doesn’t display those things. He just expresses the truth and does His judgment work to fully cleanse and save mankind. Almighty God is the Lord Jesus returned, the one true God.” Seeing I hadn’t fallen for it, he said all sorts of blasphemous things. I responded angrily, “Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit won’t be forgiven, in this life or the next.” At this, he said to me, “You really are an obstinate kid. Come to your senses, son. Just say whatever they want and fess up. You’ll regret it if you really are locked up!” I said, “I won’t regret it, and I strongly advise you to seek the true way. Stop resisting God. It’ll be too late if you commit a horrible sin.” Exasperated, he told me, “You’re hopeless. You’re too stubborn.” Then he grudgingly got up and left.
A few days later, the head of the Criminal Police Brigade tried to force me to repeat things denying and blaspheming God. When I refused, he said aggressively, “Are you afraid of retribution? There’s no God, so where would it come from? Aren’t those who gave up their faith doing just fine?” I said, “Not dying for the moment doesn’t indicate a good outcome. God doesn’t punish people right away.” He angrily grabbed me and slapped me a few times, but I still didn’t say a word. I was thinking of something the Lord Jesus said: “All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven to men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit shall not be forgiven to men” (Matthew 12:31). With the strength of these words, I didn’t waver at all. A couple of hours passed without me saying anything. Enraged, he dragged me back to the dormitory by the hair, then said sinisterly, “No food for him until he talks.” I prayed to God within my heart and these words of the Lord Jesus came to mind: “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4). God’s words are our sustenance for life. Even without food, I wouldn’t die unless God allowed it. Surprisingly, a cleaning lady snuck me a steamed bun that night. I really felt that people’s hearts and spirits are in God’s hands. After that the police had me clean their office every day, and there happened to be a copy of The Word Appears in the Flesh on a desk. I snuck looks at it while doing the daily cleaning and God’s words gave me faith and strength. The police were constantly deluging me with atheistic fallacies, but with the guidance of God’s words, I wasn’t impacted at all.
One day they had two university professors try all sorts of things to brainwash me and tempt me, saying, “If you don’t come around and sign the three letters, you’ll get five years in prison and later on it’ll be hard to find a wife. How could you waste your youth like this? Is it worth it?” That did have an effect on me. I thought about how young I was, and wondered if I would really suffer there for years. As I thought about it, I realized I was falling for Satan’s trick, so I rushed to say this prayer: “Oh God! I nearly fell for Satan’s trick. Please protect me so I can stand witness.” I thought of several lines from a hymn of God’s words after praying: “Young people should not be without the truth, nor should they harbor hypocrisy and unrighteousness—they should stand firm in the proper stance. They should not just drift along, but should have the spirit to dare to make sacrifices and to struggle for justice and truth” (“What the Young Must Pursue” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). I knew I should be able to endure any pain in order to gain the truth. I couldn’t betray God for temporary comfort. I had to stand witness and satisfy God, no matter what the cops did to me. When I wouldn’t say anything, they left, their hands tied. That afternoon, that pastor came back and said with a disingenuous smile, “I heard you’re going to go to prison. You can’t do that. Life in there is inhuman. Do you think a little guy like you can take it?” He took out his phone and showed me some photos of Christians who had been abused and said, “Look at them. Some of them got 10 years, some got 20. Some of them died in prison. I can see you’re a true believer. Just sign whatever they want you to and you can practice your faith when you get out. There’s no need to suffer this way! Sign now and I’ll say a few words on your behalf. Otherwise, you don’t stand a chance.” I felt worried, thinking that if I really was sentenced, the police could torture me however they wanted to in prison. I’d be bound for so much more pain. I couldn’t help but feel afraid, but I knew signing those letters would be betraying God and I’d have the mark of the beast. I prayed and called out to God in my heart, asking Him for faith so I could stand witness. I told the pastor, “I won’t sign.” He left, stymied.
The director of the municipal anti-cult office tried to get me to sign the three letters as well, saying to me angrily, “It’s been two months without any change. I expect a certain attitude from you now. You can go home if you say you don’t believe anymore, but you’ll be sent off to prison right away if you say you do! Are you still a believer?” I felt really conflicted. Saying yes would mean going to prison, and who knows what kind of torture awaited me there. But saying no would mean betraying God. I prayed, asking God to give me courage, and I felt ready to stand witness. I remembered a hymn of God’s words just then: “Jesus was able to complete God’s commission—the work of all mankind’s redemption—because He gave every care to God’s will, without making any plans or arrangements for Himself. He was able to place God’s management plan at the very center, and always prayed to the heavenly Father and sought the will of the heavenly Father. He prayed and said: ‘God the Father! Accomplish that which is Your will, and act not according to My desires but according to Your plan. Man may be weak, but why should You care for him? How could man be worthy of Your concern, man who is like an ant in Your hand? In My heart, I wish only to accomplish Your will, and I would that You can do what You would do in Me according to Your own desires’” (“Emulate the Lord Jesus” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). The Lord Jesus suffered when He was on His way to be crucified. He had fleshly weakness, but He was able to focus on completing God’s commission. He submitted to God’s arrangements in spite of physical pain. And Peter was willing to obey to the death for his love of God, to be crucified upside down for God. What did my trivial suffering count for? God’s words bolstered my faith and I no longer felt afraid. I resolved that even if I did go to prison, I’d stand witness for God! I said very firmly, “Then I’ll go to prison.” Angered, he responded, “Pack up, you’re off to prison tomorrow.” Then he slammed the door and walked out in a huff. Surprisingly, two days later, four officers from my local police station came and said they were taking me home. In that moment I felt how wondrous God’s work truly is, and I felt His care and mercy for me. The police brought me back into town and recorded an oral statement, and told me to report to the station once a week. Through God’s guidance, I later fled the area and was able to do my duty again.
Being arrested and tortured by the police are seared into me. I’ve seen how savage and inhuman the Communist Party is. I’ve fully seen their God-resisting essence. I thoroughly hate those demons. I also experienced the power and authority of God’s words. Through trials and hardship, God kept using His words to guide me and give me faith and strength. I saw that only God loves us, and only God’s words can be our lives. My faith in God became even greater. Thanks be to Almighty God!