By Liliana, Germany

While I was a watering group leader, Marilyn was the church leader who supervised my work. Through our interactions, I discovered that she tended to be all talk and no action when it came to implementing work. She shouted slogans instead of focusing on getting results, and she wasn’t able to resolve real problems. She didn’t lead us to summarize and fix the problems and deviations in our duties and she didn’t fellowship on God’s words and the relevant principles or point out a path of practice. All she did was lecture and scold us. When the brothers and sisters gave her suggestions, she usually wouldn’t accept them. These behaviors made me feel that she might be a false leader, so I wanted to contact her superior, Jessica, to talk about it. But then I thought: “Jessica often gathers with Marilyn, and they do a lot of work together. Jessica must be able to see the problems in Marilyn that I do. Plus, Marilyn is responsible for several groups’ work and oversees more than a dozen group leaders. Don’t they see her problems too? Since none of them have reported anything, why should I speak up? What if I’m wrong and Jessica says that I’m biased against Marilyn and trying to find fault with her? Maybe I shouldn’t stick my neck out, that way I won’t get in any trouble.” But then I thought of how I’d been hurt by false leaders and antichrists in the past. I hadn’t reported them promptly back then either, and they’d made a mess of the work of several churches, and the lives of the brothers and sisters had been impacted. If I didn’t report Marilyn’s problems immediately, I wouldn’t be safeguarding the interests of the church. When this occurred to me, I felt a little uneasy, and I thought that I should talk to the other brothers and sisters and see what they had to say. I went to Brother Jordan, and he said that he’d also discovered that Marilyn couldn’t resolve actual issues, that she didn’t follow up on or inquire about the work, and that when it came to professional skills, she didn’t guide or help the brothers and sisters to enter into the principles. He also said that she was autocratic and disorganized when assigning work, and that she was unable to prioritize tasks. The efficiency and effectiveness of the work had really suffered because of this, and things had been seriously delayed. When others warned her about this, she didn’t take it seriously. During gatherings, she seldom fellowshiped on how she had reflected, gained knowledge of herself, and practiced God’s words when faced with problems. She just spouted words and doctrines, saying some nice-sounding things, but not doing any actual work. When I heard that Jordan saw the same problems that I did, I felt quite certain that Marilyn was a false leader who didn’t do real work. If she stayed on in her post it would bring great harm to the church’s work. I realized that Marilyn’s problems were serious, and that I had to report them immediately to Jessica. But then I remembered that Marilyn directly supervised my work, so if she wasn’t dismissed after I spoke up, and she found out that I’d reported her, she might make my life very difficult, or even dismiss me. I would be so humiliated if I lost my position so soon after getting it. They say that “The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot,” so I figured that I shouldn’t be the first to report Marilyn. I decided that I’d talk to Jordan and have him bring it up instead, and then I could back up his report. That way I wouldn’t be sticking my neck out. But when I tried to speak to him, I just couldn’t get the words out. I thought that maybe I should just wait and see how things turned out. But God sees into people’s hearts and minds, and I felt a bit uneasy about staying quiet. I just felt at fault and guilty, so I prayed to God, asking Him to enlighten me to understand myself through this matter.

Then I read a passage of God’s words that shone a light on my state. God says: “Most people wish to pursue and practice the truth, but much of the time they merely have a resolution and the desire to do so; the truth has not become their life. As a result, when they come across evil forces or encounter evil people and bad people committing evil deeds, or false leaders and antichrists doing things in a way that violates principles—thus disturbing the work of the church and harming God’s chosen ones—they lose the courage to stand up and speak out. What does it mean when you have no courage? Does it mean that you are timid or inarticulate? Or is it that you do not understand thoroughly, and therefore do not have the confidence to speak up? Neither; this is primarily the consequence of being constrained by corrupt dispositions. One of the corrupt dispositions you reveal is a deceitful disposition; when something happens to you, the first thing you think of is your own interests, the first thing you consider is the consequences, whether this will be beneficial to you. This is a deceitful disposition, is it not? Another is a selfish and base disposition. You think, ‘What does a loss to the interests of God’s house have to do with me? I’m not a leader, so why should I care? It’s got nothing to do with me. It’s not my responsibility.’ Such thoughts and words are not something that you consciously think, but are produced by your subconscious—which is the corrupt disposition revealed when people encounter an issue. Corrupt dispositions such as this govern the way you think, they bind your hands and feet, and control what you say. … You have no power over what you say and do. Even if you wanted to, you could not tell the truth or say what you really think; even if you wanted to, you could not practice the truth; even if you wanted to, you could not fulfill your responsibilities. Everything you say, do, and practice is a lie, and you’re just perfunctory. You are wholly shackled and controlled by your satanic disposition. You may want to accept and practice the truth, but it’s not up to you. When your satanic dispositions control you, you say and do whatever your satanic disposition tells you to do. You are nothing but a puppet of corrupt flesh, you have become a tool of Satan. … You never seek the truth, let alone practice it. You are merely constantly praying, making resolutions, setting aspirations, and pledging in your heart. And what is the outcome? You remain a people pleaser, you are not forthcoming about the problems you encounter, you do not care about evil people when you see them, you do not respond when someone does evil or creates a disturbance, and you remain aloof when you are not affected personally. You think, ‘I don’t talk about anything that doesn’t concern me. As long as it doesn’t hurt my interests, my vanity, or my image, I disregard everything without exception. I have to be very careful, as the bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot. I’m not going to do anything stupid!’ You are totally and unwaveringly controlled by your corrupt dispositions of wickedness, deceitfulness, hardness, and aversion to the truth. They have grown harder for you to bear than the tightening golden headband worn by the Monkey King. Living under the control of corrupt dispositions is so exhausting and excruciating!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words revealed my selfish and deceitful corrupt disposition. I saw that Marilyn was extremely irresponsible in her duty. She couldn’t solve problems, do actual work, or accept the truth. She was autocratic in her duty and everything had to be done her way. All these behaviors confirmed that she was a false leader. If she were to carry on in her position, it would seriously impact the church’s work and delay the brothers’ and sisters’ life entry. I knew in my heart that this needed to be reported immediately, but I was afraid that if I offended her she’d make me regret it or dismiss me. To protect my own interests, I preferred to let harm come to the church’s work rather than report her. I chose to be deceitful and get someone else to stick their neck out, so that I could jump on the bandwagon later. That way, if someone got in trouble, it wouldn’t be me, and I wouldn’t have to take any risks. I was living by satanic rules like: “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” and “The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot.” I only thought about how to protect my own interests, and not about the interests of the church or how the brothers’ and sisters’ lives might suffer. I was so selfish and deceitful! I had always thought that I had a sense of justice and that I could uphold the interests of the church, but this experience showed me that I was a deceitful and selfish person who bent whichever way the wind was blowing. I was living by satanic philosophies, and had failed to report a false leader. I was standing on the side of Satan and hurting God’s chosen people. I was the accomplice to a false leader. I couldn’t keep being a coward, I had to report the problems I saw.

Just when I’d resolved to make that report, a leader asked us to write evaluations of Marilyn and her partner. I felt really glad, thinking that this meant the leader had recognized Marilyn’s issues, and I wrote out all of her behavior in great detail. But to my surprise, it was her partner who was dismissed, and Marilyn got to keep acting as a leader. A few days later, Marilyn started crying in her fellowship, saying, “I’m not doing actual work, I’m a false leader and I have no humanity. I’m not resolving the brothers’ and sisters’ problems, and I even oppress others. Now nobody dares to give me suggestions. I’ve been irresponsible as a church leader, and I’ve let God down. I’ve done so much evil, and I’m devoid of humanity. The church has given me a chance to keep doing my duty, so I must repent. If any of you see that I have a problem, please tell me and I’ll be glad to accept it.” She wept so sadly as she spoke, and she seemed so genuine. I wondered: “Was I mistaken? She’s not completely incapable of accepting the truth, after all. I shouldn’t have expected so much of her. If she’s willing to repent, she should still be able to do good work. Never mind then, since she hasn’t been dismissed, I should do my best to work with her.” So I sent her a message saying, “We didn’t understand your struggles. Let’s work together and do our duties well from now on.” She responded and asked me to keep giving her suggestions and help in the future. I was so excited, thinking that if she could accept the truth and turn things around, she could be a good leader.

I was really surprised to see that she didn’t make any changes whatsoever. She was still just making a lot of noise but not dealing with real problems in gatherings. During that time, some problems came up in the church’s general affairs, but she only spoke about some external matters at gatherings. She didn’t fellowship on how to seek the truth in that kind of environment. All this kept everyone on edge, and no one felt at ease doing their duty, which seriously disrupted the church life. After seeing all of this, I went to share my thoughts with her. To my surprise, she said, “You’re the one with the problem, everyone else can just do as I say, except for you. You’re the one being disruptive!” I felt negative when I heard her say that. I didn’t know how to carry on in my duty, and I was really stressed. I could ignore Marilyn and get scolded by her, or I could do what she said, which would just spell trouble for the other brothers and sisters. I was really powerless—it felt like I was suffocating. I thought about reporting Marilyn’s problems to Jessica, but then I remembered how I’d told the upper leaders about Marilyn before. They hadn’t handled her at all, and had instead dismissed the other leader who did do real work. If I reported Marilyn, would they say I was stirring up trouble, and think that I was the one with the problem? What if they accused me of something and dismissed me? While I was in that state, I felt only darkness and a sinking feeling in my heart, and I couldn’t feel God’s presence.

Before long, a work arrangement was issued by God’s house. It mentioned that if any false leaders and workers that don’t do real work, evil people, or antichrists, are discovered in the church, they must be exposed and reported to protect the interests of the church. This is a responsibility of all God’s chosen people. If a leader or worker suppresses or punishes a brother or sister for reporting them, they are an antichrist. Every leader and worker also has to sign a pledge that they won’t suppress anyone who files a report on them. I felt both joy and guilt when I saw that work arrangement. I was glad that God knows how small our stature is and that He was encouraging us to expose false leaders and antichrists. I also felt guilty because I knew there were false leaders and workers in the church, but I didn’t dare report them because I was afraid of being suppressed or mistreated, and would rather let the church’s work suffer instead. I wasn’t worthy of being one of God’s chosen people. So, I spoke with a couple of other group leaders about Marilyn’s issues, and they agreed with me. We fellowshiped about the principles for discerning false leaders and workers together and ultimately determined that Marilyn was indeed a false leader, and that there was also a problem with the upper leaders, who were shielding her. We decided we’d all write a joint report on them. When I’d written out the report, the others told me to send it off first and not to wait for them. I started worrying again, that if Marilyn found out about the report, she might make things difficult for me. I prayed to God and asked Him to enlighten me and guide me to reflect on myself. After that, I read this in God’s words: “All of you say you are considerate of God’s burden and will defend the testimony of the church, but who among you has really been considerate of God’s burden? Ask yourself: Are you someone who has shown consideration for His burden? Can you practice righteousness for Him? Can you stand up and speak for Me? Can you steadfastly put the truth into practice? Are you bold enough to fight against all of Satan’s deeds? Would you be able to set your feelings aside and expose Satan for the sake of My truth? Can you allow My intentions to be satisfied in you? Have you offered up your heart in the most crucial of moments? Are you someone who follows My will?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 13). God’s questions left me speechless. I always talked about being considerate of God’s intentions and safeguarding the church’s work, but when I saw that Marilyn wasn’t doing real work, that she was misleading people with doctrines, acting like a dictator and running amok in her duty, and that this had a serious impact on the church life, I was overcautious and indecisive. I hadn’t reported her because I wanted to protect myself, and I hadn’t dared to take a stand and fight against the forces of darkness. I hadn’t protected the church’s work at all. I lacked the slightest shred of conscience or reason. How could I possibly face God? God’s every word was a wake-up call for my numb heart, and I resolved to stop protecting myself. I had to expose and report her, even if I did end up getting suppressed because of it, so I sent out the report.

A few days later, in a co-worker meeting, Marilyn was in tears again and put on another show of “repenting.” She said, “I’ve been working day and night, but haven’t managed to get anyone’s support, and I’ve even been reported. This is God’s love for me, and I know I need to stop and reflect on myself. The brothers and sisters are helping me by reporting me, and I’ve signed a pledge to never suppress anyone who writes a report about me….” Later on, she came to ask me if I had any struggles in my work and how my state was, and she didn’t seem as brash as she had before—she even brought me some food. At first, I lacked discernment, thinking that maybe she really had repented. But then I thought, “I can’t be taken in by a moment of niceness—I have to wait and see what happens. She cried and ‘repented’ last time, but after that nothing changed. Maybe she’s being nice to me because she knows I reported her. Maybe she just wants me to say that she’s changed when the leader investigates my report. She’s misleading me, and I can’t fall into Satan’s trap and be tricked by her again.” When this occurred to me, I quickly said a prayer to God, asking Him to watch over my heart so I wouldn’t be taken in by her tears like last time. I was really surprised to see her drop her mask again so quickly.

Just a few days later, we were fellowshiping truths about discerning people and she used this opportunity to say, “We can’t just keep our heads down and gain knowledge of ourselves, we have to learn to discern others. Recently, the church encouraged us to write reports, and some evil people were revealed in the process. They found something to accuse the leaders and workers of, and then they used it to attack them. We need to expose those evil people, and all the ‘little flies’ that follow them. We must hold every evil person and antichrist to account.” I was pretty angry to hear her say that. I saw that all of her so-called self-knowledge was fake. She didn’t know herself at all, and she was pointing the finger back at the people who had written reports on her. It reminded me of a couple passages of God’s words: “Antichrists would rather die than repent. They have no sense of shame; besides that, they are vicious and wicked of disposition, and they are averse to the truth in the extreme. Can someone who is so averse to the truth put it into practice, or repent? That would be impossible. That they are so absolutely averse to the truth means that they will never repent” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). “Tell Me, do antichrists accept being pruned? Do they admit that they have a corrupt disposition? (No, they don’t admit it.) They don’t admit to having a corrupt disposition, but after they are pruned, they still pretend like they know themselves. They say they are a devil and a Satan, devoid of humanity and with poor caliber, and that they are unable to consider things thoroughly, they are unfit for the tasks arranged by the church, and they have not done their duties properly. Then, in front of a majority of people, they admit to their corrupt disposition, they admit that they are a devil, and finally, they also say that this is God refining and saving them, showing people how able they are to accept pruning and how submissive they are to the truth. They don’t mention why they are being pruned or the harm and losses their actions have caused to the church’s work. They avoid these issues and speak hollow words, doctrines, sophistries, and explanatory remarks to make people misinterpret the pruning they receive from God’s house as being undeserved and unfair, as if they have suffered some great injustice. After being pruned, they remain unyielding in their hearts, not acknowledging any of their various evil deeds in the slightest. So, what are all these words that they fellowshipped about admitting to their corrupt disposition, being willing to accept the truth, and being able to submit to pruning? Are these their true feelings? Absolutely not. They are all lies, pretense, and devilish words meant to mislead people and lure them in. What is the aim of their misleading people? (To make people worship and follow them.) Exactly, it is to mislead and lure people into following and listening to them, making everyone think that they are right and good. This way, no one sees through them or opposes them. On the contrary, people believe that they are someone who accepts the truth, accepts pruning, and is repentant. So, why don’t they admit to their evil deeds or acknowledge the losses they have brought to the work of God’s house? Why don’t they bring these matters out in the open for fellowship? (If they were to say these things, people would discern them.) If people discerned them, saw through them, and saw through their humanity and their disposition essence, they would forsake them. Would they still fall for their tricks and be misled by them? Would they still hold them in high esteem? Would they still praise them to the skies? Would they still worship them? They wouldn’t do any of this. Antichrists pretend to know themselves, but in reality, it is all sophistry and self-explanations, all to mislead people and make people stand up for them, which is their ulterior motive. They evade important matters and talk lightly about knowing themselves and accepting pruning to mislead people and lure them in, to make people esteem and worship them. Isn’t this method quite wicked? Some people truly fall for it, and after being misled by the antichrists, they say, ‘They speak so well—I was very inspired. I cried several times!’ At the time, these people highly worship and esteem them, but in the end they turn out to be antichrists; this is the consequence of antichrists misleading others and luring them in” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Five: Summarizing the Character of Antichrists and Their Disposition Essence (Part Two)). Antichrists are incredibly arrogant and conceited by nature, and they never accept the truth. They are averse to and hate it. No matter how many bitter failures they experience, they refuse to repent or change. They’re skilled at misleading people with illusions, and they are incredibly insidious and deceitful. By understanding this, my discernment of Marilyn grew. When she got reported, she cried and talked about self-knowledge, saying that the reports were God’s love and that she would reflect on herself. She said she lacked humanity and had let God down, and she vowed to repent. She even asked for more feedback. But that was all fake, it was all lies intended to deceive people. She used these external displays to mislead us, so that everyone would think that she could accept being pruned and that she was able to submit to the truth. But she never truly addressed the behaviors that showed that she was a false leader, like how she didn’t do real work, how she was autocratic in her duty, and how she’d hurt the work of the church. She just said a few words about lacking humanity, and never dissected the ways in which she’d displayed that lack of humanity. She never shared details of how she’d gained knowledge of her own corrupt disposition, and she did not bear witness to God’s righteousness. So people looked up to and sympathized with her, thinking that she had stature and that she would treat those who reported her properly. Her fellowship was by no means genuine self-knowledge, she just wanted to mislead people and keep their support so that she could hold her position. But that facade was short-lived. As soon as she got the chance, she turned things around on the people who’d reported her, dropping that hypocritical, repentant veneer of hers. She escalated things by publicly condemning us and taking her revenge. This thoroughly exposed her true self, her hatred of the truth, and her vicious nature. She was an evil person who hated and was averse to the truth in her nature essence. She wasn’t just a false leader, she had the essence of an antichrist.

After that, I found out that Marilyn and her crew were preparing materials to clear out Jordan from the church, who had often given Marilyn suggestions. When another leader said that Jordan didn’t meet the criteria for being cleared out, they claimed that she was a false leader and dismissed her. They also found excuses to dismiss the two other group leaders who had reported Marilyn with me. I only avoided being dismissed because the brothers and sisters voted to keep me in place. The church held its annual election right after that, and, to my surprise, the people who had been reported were all chosen to be leaders and workers again. Those close to them, including Marilyn’s little sister, all got leadership roles too. I felt a little confused and didn’t understand how things could have turned out that way. They had clearly made a mess of the church’s work, so how could they be elected as leaders and workers again? I even started to suspect that the church was just like the secular world, that it was all about relationships and power. When I thought this, darkness filled my heart and I lost my drive to do my duty. I just wanted to crawl into a corner where no one could see me. I even started to develop doubts about God’s righteousness. I pretty much stopped speaking in gatherings and didn’t share any opinions. I was on my guard against everyone and just did my duty robotically. Sometimes I even wondered: “Should I suck up to them too? If I apologize, say that I was wrong, and smooth things over, they might forget about my report. That way, at least, I won’t get cleared out of the church.”

One day, I heard a reading of God’s words: “I take pleasure in those who are not suspicious of others, and I like those who readily accept the truth; toward these two kinds of people I show great care, for in My eyes they are honest people. If you are deceitful, then you will be guarded and suspicious toward all people and matters, and thus your faith in Me will be built upon a foundation of suspicion. I could never acknowledge such faith. Lacking true faith, you are even more devoid of true love. And if you are liable to doubt God and speculate about Him at will, then you are, without question, the most deceitful of all people. You speculate whether God can be like man: unpardonably sinful, of petty character, devoid of fairness and reason, lacking a sense of justice, given to vicious tactics, treacherous and cunning, pleased by evil and darkness, and so on. Is not the reason that people have such thoughts because they lack the slightest knowledge of God? Such faith is nothing short of sin! There are even some who believe that the ones who please Me are precisely those who flatter and bootlick, and that those lacking in such skills will be unwelcome in the house of God and will lose their place there. Is this the only knowledge you have acquired after all these years? Is this what you have gained? And your knowledge of Me does not stop at these misunderstandings; even worse is your blasphemy against God’s Spirit and vilification of Heaven. This is why I say that such faith as yours will only cause you to stray further from Me and be in greater opposition against Me. Throughout many years of work, you have seen many truths, but do you know what My ears have heard? How many among you are willing to accept the truth? You all believe you are willing to pay the price for the truth, but how many of you have truly suffered for the truth? There is nothing but unrighteousness in your hearts, which makes you think that everyone, no matter who they are, is equally deceitful and crooked—to the point that you even believe that God incarnate could, like a normal person, be without a kind heart or benevolent love. More than that, you believe that a noble character and a merciful, benevolent nature exist only within the God in heaven. You believe that such a saint does not exist, that only darkness and evil reign on earth, while God is something with which people entrust their longing for the good and beautiful, a legendary figure fabricated by them. … You regard all deeds of Christ from the standpoint of the unrighteous and evaluate all His work, as well as His identity and essence, from the perspective of the evil. You have made a grave mistake and done that which has never been done by those coming before you. That is, you serve only the lofty God in heaven with a crown upon His head, and never attend to the God whom you regard as so insignificant that He is invisible to you. Is this not your sin? Is this not a classic example of your offense against the disposition of God?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. How to Know the God on Earth). Hearing God’s judgment, I felt very ashamed. When things happened that didn’t accord with my notions, I didn’t seek the truth, instead I doubted God’s righteousness. I suspected that the powerful shielded each other and that darkness ruled in God’s house. Wasn’t I suspecting that God loved evil and darkness, just like humans? That was an absurd way to look at things! God is holy and righteous, so holiness and righteousness rule in His house. Even though false leaders and antichrists may get their way for a little while in the church, and be able to mislead and control some people, they’ll never gain a real foothold here—God will expose and eliminate them eventually. God allows those people to appear in the church so that His chosen people can develop real discernment and see the evil face of God-resisting Satan through them, and then renounce them and be freed from their misleading and control. That’s the wisdom of God’s work. But when I saw the church being controlled by false leaders and antichrists and how they punished and suppressed the others, I was cautious and guarded, afraid that they’d suppress me too. I was too scared to speak to the brothers and sisters, terrified that I’d say the wrong thing and give the antichrists something to use against me, and then be dismissed or expelled. In order to protect myself, I even thought about employing a secular philosophy for worldly dealings and sucking up to them. I was really cowardly and didn’t have any backbone at all. I was denying God’s righteousness, refusing to believe that the truth and Christ ruled in His house. These words of God in particular really pierced my heart: “And your knowledge of Me does not stop at these misunderstandings; even worse is your blasphemy against God’s Spirit and vilification of Heaven. This is why I say that such faith as yours will only cause you to stray further from Me and be in greater opposition against Me.” I was blaspheming and slandering God with my absurd views. I didn’t have any real understanding of God in my faith. After I was suppressed by those false leaders and antichrists, I didn’t really seek the truth to gain discernment or stand up and fight against the antichrists’ evil forces, instead I doubted the righteousness of God’s house. That was evil of me! False leaders and antichrists can only appear in the church with God’s permission. He uses them to set up a real lesson for us, so that we can seek the truth and gain discernment. I needed to seek the truth and learn my lesson through this environment. Realizing this, I knelt down and prayed to God. I said, “God, I want to repent to You. Please give me faith. No matter what sort of situation I face after this, I’ll rely on You to get through it.” I felt a sense of release after my prayer.

One day, Marilyn’s little sister told me that I’d been reported by some brothers and sisters, and they had to temporarily suspend me from my duty. She didn’t say what I’d been reported for, she just told me to reflect on myself. She also said that if anyone asked me why I had been dismissed, I couldn’t say anything. All of this happened so suddenly, and I felt really overwhelmed. I was completely stunned and my mind was blank. I went home and sat there in a daze, thinking and thinking. Were they going to expel me from the church? When they cleared Jordan out, first they used his old age as an excuse to get him to stop doing his duty, then they gathered the materials needed to clear him out. I had no idea what I’d do if they used that tactic against me, too. I was so afraid. Sometimes I looked at it more optimistically, thinking that maybe someone really had reported me, and that after their investigation, they might let me gather and do a duty again. I kept swinging back and forth between optimism and pessimism. I felt like my head was about to explode. I was miserable, and it felt like there was a great weight on my chest. I didn’t know how to get through that situation and I was having doubts about God’s sovereignty again. I rushed to pray, asking God to watch over me so I wouldn’t lose faith in Him or doubt His work. I knew that God was allowing this to happen to me, and that it would be beneficial for my life. I wanted to calm down and really seek the truth. During that time, I read a lot of God’s words about understanding God’s sovereignty and going through trials, and I realized that God was allowing all of this to happen. No matter how savage an antichrist or an evil person was, they couldn’t do anything to me without God’s permission. I couldn’t tell what those false leaders and antichrists were going to do, but I should learn to wait and seek, and at the very least, not blame God or allow Satan to mock me. Even if they really did expel me, I couldn’t give up my faith, and I still had to do my duty by sharing the gospel. I didn’t feel as weak and afraid when I thought about it that way.

After a couple weeks or so went by, Marilyn’s little sister asked me to write an assessment of Sister Jenn, who had reported Marilyn with me. I realized that they were probably preparing the materials to expel her from the church, so I calmly thought back in detail about everything that had happened, and all the things that Marilyn and the others had done. I felt like I had more discernment over them. I read a passage of God’s word: “What is the main objective of an antichrist when they attack and exclude a dissenter? They seek to create a situation in the church where there are no voices contrary to their own, in which their power, their leadership status, and their words are all absolute. Everyone must heed them, and even if they have a difference of opinion, they must not express it, but let it fester in their heart. Anyone who dares to openly disagree with them becomes the antichrist’s enemy, and they will think of any way they can to make things hard for them, and can’t wait to make them disappear. This is one of the ways that antichrists attack and exclude a dissenter in order to shore up their status and protect their power. They think, ‘It’s fine for you to have different opinions, but you can’t go around talking about them as you please, much less compromise my power and status. If you have something to say, you can say it to me in private. If you say it in front of everyone and cause me to lose face, you are asking for trouble, and I’ll have to take care of you!’ What kind of disposition is this? Antichrists do not permit others to speak freely. If they have an opinion—whether about the antichrist or anything else—they cannot just bring it up at random; they must consider the antichrist’s face. If not, the antichrist will brand them an enemy, and attack and exclude them. What kind of nature is this? It is the nature of an antichrist. And why do they do this? They do not allow the church to have any alternative voices, they do not permit any dissenters in the church, they do not allow God’s chosen ones to openly fellowship the truth and discern people. What they fear most is being exposed and discerned by people; they are constantly trying to consolidate their power and the status they have in people’s hearts, which they feel must never be shaken. They could never tolerate anything that threatens or affects their pride, reputation, or status and value as a leader. Is this not a manifestation of the malicious nature of antichrists? Not content with the power they already possess, they consolidate and secure it and seek eternal domination. Not only do they want to control others’ behavior, but also their hearts” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Two: They Attack and Exclude Dissenters). I saw from God’s words that in order to solidify their power and position in the church, antichrists will suppress and punish anyone who disagrees with them or reports them. Weren’t Marilyn and her crew exactly like the antichrists that God described? When some brothers and sisters saw them clearly and reported them, Marilyn’s gang found something to use against them and had them dismissed. They monitored all those who had discernment of them, and condemned and expelled anyone who pushed back against them. They had even arranged for their relatives and the people they valued to take up positions as leaders and workers. They had already ganged up to form a faction. Things were even worse than when we’d written that report—they were a bona fide gang of antichrists! If I didn’t report their evil deeds, not only would the church’s work suffer, all of the brothers and sisters in the church would be harmed. But the thought of reporting them again scared me. I thought, “They all have leadership roles, and I’ve already been dismissed and suspended from attending gatherings. If I report them again, will the others believe me? If they get their hands on my report like they did before, not only would nothing good come of it, they might even expel me from the church. That would be the end of me!” The thought of being expelled sent a chill over me. But then I thought about how they’d already severely disrupted the church’s work, and that they were still on their rampage of suppressing and punishing the brothers and sisters. If I was too afraid of them to write a report, and let them keep running amok, who knows how many more brothers and sisters would suffer. That would be a serious transgression before God and He would surely detest and abandon me. I could hardly eat or sleep over those few days. Later, Brother Max called me and asked exactly what we’d written in our report, and what I thought of the situation now. I said, “Let’s just wait and see.” He replied, “Do you think that Marilyn will really leave you be if you don’t take a stand and report her now? This isn’t a personal matter, it involves the church’s work. Give it some thought.” After getting off the phone, I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. I felt really suffocated and didn’t know what to do. One moment, I’d want to fight and write another report, and the next moment, I’d think of my future and fate, and worry about being expelled and how my life of faith might come to an end. I was really in a state of turmoil. Then I saw a passage of God’s words: “Until people have experienced God’s work and understood the truth, it is Satan’s nature that takes charge and dominates them from within. What, specifically, does that nature entail? For example, why are you selfish? Why do you protect your own position? Why do you have such strong feelings? Why do you enjoy those unrighteous things? Why do you like those evils? What is the basis for your fondness for such things? Where do these things come from? Why are you so happy to accept them? By now, you have all come to understand that the main reason behind all these things is that Satan’s poison is within man. So what is Satan’s poison? How can it be expressed? For example, if you ask, ‘How should people live? What should people live for?’ people will answer, ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ This single phrase expresses the very root of the problem. Satan’s philosophy and logic have become people’s lives. No matter what people pursue, they do so for themselves—and so they live only for themselves. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’—this is the life philosophy of man, and it also represents human nature. These words have already become the nature of corrupt mankind and they are the true portrait of corrupt mankind’s satanic nature. This satanic nature has already become the basis for corrupt mankind’s existence. For several thousand years, corrupt mankind has lived by this venom of Satan, right up to the present day” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). Thinking that over, I could see that I protected myself over and over and didn’t dare to report Marilyn because I was living by satanic poisons like: “The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot,” “Sensible people are good at self-protection, seeking only to avoid making mistakes,” “Let things drift if they do not affect one personally,” and “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.” Those satanic poisons had taken root deep in my bones and blood; I only thought about myself in everything I said and did, and I was incredibly selfish and deceitful. Back before I became a believer, I never wanted to do anything that would offend someone, whether it be at work or in my personal life. Even after joining the church, I kept living by these satanic philosophies, protecting myself at every turn instead of practicing the truth. I knew that Marilyn and the others were a gang of antichrists and that I should stand on God’s side and report them. Yet, I only thought of my own future and fate, without considering the church’s work or the brothers’ and sisters’ lives. How was that bearing witness to God? I was doing evil!

Later, I started giving thought to why I’d been so afraid of them. Could they decide my fate? Wasn’t my future and fate entirely in God’s hands? Wasn’t it foolish of me to be so scared of antichrists’ evil forces? I thought of God’s words: “God’s expression of His wrath is a symbol that all wicked forces will cease to exist, and it is a symbol that all hostile forces will be destroyed. This is the uniqueness of God’s righteous disposition, and of God’s wrath. When God’s dignity and holiness are challenged, when the forces of justice are obstructed and unseen by man, then God will send forth His wrath. Because of God’s essence, all those forces on earth which contest God, oppose Him and contend with Him, are wicked, corrupt and unjust; they come from and belong to Satan. Because God is just and is of the light and flawlessly holy, thus all things wicked, corrupt and belonging to Satan will vanish when God’s wrath is unleashed” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique II). God’s house isn’t like the secular world—it’s ruled by God. He is the truth and He is righteous, He is a symbol of all that’s bright, good and beautiful. No dark and evil forces of Satan like antichrists and evil people can gain a real foothold here, they will all be cursed and punished by God. There was no reason for me to be so frightened and worried. False leaders and antichrists are in God’s hands, too. Even if they really expelled me, it would be something that I needed to experience. I knew that I couldn’t be afraid of them anymore, I had to practice the truth, take a stand, and report them. So I called Jenn to discuss writing a report with her, and she told me that Marilyn and her crew were gathering materials to have me expelled at that very moment. I already knew that they’d probably find a way to expel me, but actually hearing that was such a shock that I broke into a cold sweat. After that call, I thought of a passage of God’s words: “If a church contains no one who is willing to practice the truth and no one who can stand witness for God, then that church should be completely isolated, and its connections with other churches must be severed. This is called ‘burying death’; this is what it means to spurn Satan. If a church contains several local bullies, and they are followed by ‘little flies’ that entirely lack discernment, and if the congregants, even after having seen the truth, are still incapable of rejecting the binds and manipulation of these bullies, then all those fools will be eliminated in the end. These little flies might not have done anything terrible, but they are even more deceitful, even more slick and evasive, and everyone like this will be eliminated. Not a single one shall remain! Those who belong to Satan will be returned to Satan, while those who belong to God will surely go in search of the truth; this is decided by their natures. Let all those who follow Satan perish! No pity will be shown to such people. Let those who search for the truth be provided for, and may they take pleasure in God’s word to their hearts’ content. God is righteous; He would not show favoritism to anyone. If you are a devil, then you are incapable of practicing the truth; if you are someone who searches for the truth, then it is certain that you will not be taken captive by Satan. This is beyond all doubt” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. A Warning to Those Who Do Not Practice the Truth). After reading God’s words, I could really feel God’s holy and righteous disposition that tolerates no offense from man. God wouldn’t allow false leaders and antichrists to disrupt the church’s work or hurt His chosen people. God hates those who don’t practice the truth or uphold the church’s work when false leaders and antichrists appear. If those people don’t repent, they’re bound to be eliminated and punished. If I failed to practice the truth when faced with Marilyn’s gang of false leaders and antichrists, and didn’t take a stand to report them, wouldn’t that mean that I was standing on Satan’s side and letting them disrupt the church’s work? Then I’d also have a part in their evil! I was enjoying the truth that God had bestowed upon us and eating and drinking what He had provided for me, but when antichrists were disrupting the church’s work and suppressing God’s chosen people, I didn’t safeguard the church’s work. I was taking the side of the enemy. That was a serious betrayal of God, and something that He condemns. Just like God said: “Let all those who follow Satan perish!” It was only then that I felt truly afraid. If I didn’t repent, then even if I wasn’t expelled, I’d be condemned and eliminated along with the false leaders and antichrists. When I realized this, I came before God to pray. I said, “God, I want to repent to You, and stop being overcautious and protecting myself. I want to practice the truth, and not be constrained by Satan’s dark forces. I want to take a stand and protect the church’s work. I know that I have to report those antichrists, and write out everything that I know, even if I do end up getting expelled.” After that, another sister helped me to deliver my report directly to an upper leader. An investigation was conducted, and Marilyn and the others were determined to be antichrists and they were suspended from their duties. They didn’t give up after that and secretly colluded to make a desperate last stand. They tried to mislead the brothers and sisters into covering up the evidence of their evildoing, and even spied on the sister who handled the report on them. In the end, that entire gang of antichrists was expelled from the church and the brothers and sisters who had been suppressed and condemned were able to live a normal church life and do their duties again.

Through all of this, I truly felt God’s righteous and unoffendable disposition, and saw that God’s house is ruled by the truth, God, and righteousness. No matter how savage Satan is or how powerful it appears to be, it’s still just a tool that God uses to perfect His chosen people. God’s words say: “We always speak of how wicked, vicious, and malicious Satan is, that Satan is averse to and hates the truth, but can you see this? Can you see what Satan does in the spiritual realm? How it speaks and acts, what its attitude toward the truth and God is, where its wickedness lies—you can see none of these things. So, no matter how we say that Satan is wicked, that it resists God, and that it is averse to the truth, in your mind, this is merely a statement. There is no true image to it. It is too hollow, and it is impractical; it cannot serve as a practical reference. But when one has come into contact with an antichrist, they see Satan’s wicked, vicious disposition and its essence of being averse to the truth a bit more clearly, and their understanding of Satan is a bit more incisive and practical. Without these real figures and examples for people to come into contact with and see, their so-called understanding of the truth would be indistinct, hollow, and impractical. But when people come into real contact with these antichrists and evil people, they can see how they do evil and resist God, and they can identify the nature essence of Satan. They see that these evil people and antichrists are Satan incarnate—that they are living Satans, living devils. Contact with antichrists and evil people can have such an effect. When Satan incarnates as an evil person or antichrist, the capabilities of its fleshly body are only so great, yet it can still do so many bad things, and cause so much trouble, and be so wicked and insidious in conduct and in deed. Therefore, the evil that Satan in the spiritual realm does must be a hundred or a thousand times greater than the sum of that done by all evil people and antichrists that live in the flesh. So, the lessons people learn by coming into contact with evil people and antichrists are of great help to them developing discernment and seeing the face of Satan clearly. They enable people to learn to discern what things are positive and what things are negative, what is loathed by God and what is pleasing to Him, what is the truth and what is fallacy, what is righteous and what is wicked, what exactly God hates and what exactly He loves, and which people God rejects and eliminates and which He approves of and gains. It is useless to try to understand these questions in terms of doctrines alone. One must experience many things, especially the misleading and disturbance of evil people and antichrists. It is not until one has true discernment that they can understand these many truths and come to a deeper and more practical understanding of what God requires and what He wants to gain. Doesn’t this lead to a greater understanding of God’s intentions? Can’t it make you surer that God is the truth and the One which is most lovely? (Yes.) God has people learn lessons and develop discernment in the course of experiencing things, and He is certainly training people, as well, while also revealing people of each sort. When some people encounter an evil person or an antichrist, they do not dare to expose or identify them, and they do not dare to come into contact with them. They are afraid, and just try to avoid them, as if they had seen a venomous snake. Such people are too spineless to learn lessons, and they will not develop discernment. Some people who encounter an evil person or an antichrist do not pay attention to learning lessons or gaining discernment; they let their hotheadedness guide their treatment of them, and when the time comes to expose and identify an antichrist, they cannot be of use or do anything practical. Some people see an antichrist doing a great deal of evil, and they feel averse toward it at heart, but they feel there is nothing at all that they can do about it, that their hands are tied. They are consequently toyed with arbitrarily by the antichrist, and they keep enduring this and resign themselves to it. They allow the antichrist to act recklessly and disturb the work of the church, and they do not report or expose them. They have failed in their responsibility and duty as humans. In short, when evil people and antichrists wreak havoc and do as they will, this reveals people of all sorts, and of course, it also serves to train those who pursue the truth and have a sense of justice, enabling them to grow in discernment and insight, learn something, and understand God’s intentions from this. Which of God’s intentions do they come to understand? They are made to see that God does not save antichrists, but simply uses them to render service, and that when antichrists are done rendering their service, God reveals and eliminates them, and ultimately punishes them, for they are evil people and of Satan. Those whom God saves are a group of people who, despite their corrupt dispositions, love positive things, and recognize that God is the truth, and submit to His sovereignty and arrangements, and who, having committed a transgression, are able to truly repent. These people can accept being pruned, being judged and chastised, and even more so they can approach it correctly when other people expose them or point out their issues. Those who, no matter how God works, can accept it and submit to it, and learn something from it—such is the group of people who truly follow God, experience His work, and are gained by Him” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Eight)). Through being suppressed by those antichrists, I got a real look at how evil and cruel they are in nature. They’ll condemn and expel anyone who has discernment of them, or who doesn’t listen to them, reports them, or threatens their position. What’s more, they don’t have any conscience or reason at all. No matter how much evil they do or how many people they suppress, no matter how many times they’re pruned and exposed, they don’t have a shred of regret or repentance. I saw that antichrists are averse to and hate the truth in their essence. They are enemies of God, demons reincarnated on earth. I also personally experienced that if you fear their power and don’t dare to expose and report them, you just end up being suppressed, punished, and hurt. You have to stand on God’s side and use His words and the truth to fight them. You have to report and renounce them and drive them out of the church. That’s the only way to escape their power and control, and triumph over Satan. It was entirely thanks to God’s words that I was able to gain all of this! Thank God!