50. What Lies Behind Refusing to Be a Leader
In January of 2022, I was selected to serve as a church leader and was mainly put in charge of supervising video production. At the time I felt quite conflicted: On the one hand, I worried that because I lacked technical skills, if I submitted but was unable to do my work well, I would be revealed and dismissed. On the other hand, if I refused to do this duty, I would feel quite guilty. So, I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me to understand His intention. That day, I happened to meet up with a brother who fellowshipped with me in the following way after hearing about my state: “The main reason you don’t want to serve as a leader is out of consideration for your own prospects and destiny. You’re worried that you won’t be able to do real work and will be revealed and dismissed. You also have the fallacious viewpoint that it is dangerous to be a leader, because leaders are liable to be revealed and eliminated. You keep your guard up against God and misunderstand Him. In reality, the reason why many leaders are revealed and eliminated is not because they were in that position, but rather because they failed to pursue the truth and walk the right path and always sought after status and ran amok doing bad things.” The brother’s fellowship precisely identified my way of thinking and helped me to gain some knowledge of my state. After that, I sought out words of God related to my state to eat and drink.
One day, I came across two passages of God’s words: “When a simple adjustment is made to their duty, people should answer with an attitude of obedience, do as God’s house tells them to, and do what they are able, and, no matter what they do, do it as well as is within their power, with all their heart and all their strength. What God has done is not in error. Such a simple truth can be practiced by people with a little conscience and reason, but this is beyond the abilities of antichrists. When it comes to the adjustment of duties, antichrists will immediately offer arguments, sophistry, and defiance, and deep down they refuse to accept it. Just what is in their heart? Suspicion and doubt, they then probe others using all kinds of methods. … Why would they make a simple thing so complicated? There is only one reason: Antichrists never obey the arrangements of God’s house, and they always closely link their duty, fame, gain, and status with their hope of gaining blessings and their future destination, as if once their reputation and status are lost, they have no hope of gaining blessings and rewards, and this feels like losing their lives to them. They think, ‘I have to be careful, I mustn’t be careless! God’s house, the brothers and sisters, the leaders and workers, and even god can’t be relied upon. I can’t trust any of them. The person you can rely on most and who is most worthy of trust is yourself. If you’re not making plans for yourself, then who is going to care about you? Who is going to consider your future? Who is going to consider whether or not you’re going to receive blessings? Therefore, I have to make careful plans and calculations for my own sake. I can’t make mistakes or be even slightly careless, otherwise, what will I do if somebody tries to take advantage of me?’ Therefore, they guard themselves against the leaders and workers of God’s house, fearing that somebody will discern or see through them, and that they’ll then be dismissed and their dream of blessings will be spoiled. They think they must maintain their reputation and status in order for them to have hope of gaining blessings. An antichrist sees being blessed as greater than the heavens, greater than life, more important than pursuing the truth, dispositional change, or personal salvation, and more important than doing their duty well, and being a created being that is up to standard. They think that being a created being that is up to standard, doing their duty well and being saved are all paltry things that are hardly worth mentioning or remarking on, while gaining blessings is the only thing in their entire life that can never be forgotten. In whatever they encounter, no matter how great or small, they relate it to being blessed, and are incredibly cautious and attentive, and they always leave a way out for themselves” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status and No Hope of Gaining Blessings). “As a created being, when one comes before the Creator, they ought to perform their duty. This is a very proper thing to do, and they should fulfill this responsibility. On the basis that created beings perform their duties, the Creator has done even greater work among humankind, and He has carried out a further stage of work on people. And what work is that? He provides humankind with the truth, allowing them to gain the truth from Him as they perform their duties and thereby to cast off their corrupt dispositions and be purified. Thus, they come to satisfy God’s intentions and embark on the right path in life, and, ultimately, they are able to fear God and shun evil, attain complete salvation, and no longer be subjected to Satan’s afflictions. This is the effect that God would have humankind achieve in the end by performing their duties. … Such a beautiful and such a great thing is twisted by the ilk of the antichrists into a transaction, in which they solicit crowns and rewards from God’s hand. Such a transaction turns something most beautiful and just into something most ugly and wicked. Is this not what the antichrists do? Judging from this, are the antichrists not wicked? They are quite wicked indeed! This is a manifestation of their wickedness” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). God’s words exposed how antichrists only believe in God to gain blessings. No matter what situation they encounter, they always consider it in the light of their destination and blessings. Even when faced with something as simple as an adjustment in their duty, they can’t purely submit, but mull over and weigh how the decision will affect their future prospects. If the adjustment serves their interests and will allow them to gain blessings, they accept it, but if the adjustment threatens their prospects and destiny, they find a way to get out of it, fearing that if they take a wrong step they’ll be revealed, eliminated and have no hope of gaining blessings. I saw that antichrists’ nature essence is truly wicked and deceitful! I reflected on how my attitude toward having my duty adjusted was just like that of an antichrist. When I heard that I had been selected as a church leader, the first thing I thought of was my own future prospects, outcome and destination. I analyzed the duty to see if it would be beneficial to me and before I had even started serving as a leader, I had already considered all the possible consequences of failing to do my duty well. I was full of suspicion and leeriness toward God and didn’t submit in the slightest. I even thought up some high-sounding excuses to get out of the duty—I could say I didn’t have the caliber to be a leader and that I’d delay the work. Outwardly, it may have seemed as though I wasn’t pursuing status and was quite reasonable, but there was an unspeakable motive behind all this: I was scared of taking on the responsibilities of a leader and the risk of being revealed and eliminated if I did it poorly. Thus, I wanted to get out of the duty to ensure my future prospects. God’s intention is to give us opportunities to practice doing duties to help us understand the truth, enter into reality, cast off our corrupt dispositions and attain salvation. When such a wonderful opportunity was given to me, I not only failed to be thankful for God’s grace, I actually misunderstood and was leery of God and wanted to get out of and reject the duty I was assigned. I was truly selfish and deceitful!
Going forward, I looked for more passages of God’s words related to my fallacious viewpoint. I found these passages: “Tell Me, once corrupt people gain status—regardless of who they are—do they then become antichrists? Is this absolute? (If they do not pursue the truth, then they will become antichrists, but if they do pursue the truth, then they will not.) That is absolutely right: If people do not pursue the truth, they are sure to become antichrists. And is it the case that all who walk the path of antichrists do so because of status? No, it is chiefly because they have no love of the truth, because they are not right people. Regardless of whether they have status or not, people who do not pursue the truth all walk the path of antichrists. No matter how many sermons they have heard, such people do not accept the truth, they do not walk the right path, but are determined to go toward the crooked path. This is akin to how people eat: Some do not consume food that can nurture their bodies and support a normal existence, but instead insist on consuming things that do them harm, ultimately shooting themselves in the foot. Is this not their own choice? After being eliminated, some leaders and workers spread notions, saying, ‘Don’t be a leader, and don’t let yourself gain status. People are in danger the minute they gain any status, and God will reveal them! Once they are revealed, they will not even be qualified to be ordinary believers, and will receive no blessings at all.’ What sort of thing is that to say? At best, it represents a misunderstanding of God; at worst, it is blasphemy against Him. If you do not walk the right path, do not pursue the truth, and do not follow God’s way, but instead you insist on walking the path of antichrists and end up on Paul’s path, ultimately meeting the same outcome, the same end as Paul, still complaining about God and passing judgment on God as unrighteous, then are you not the genuine article of an antichrist? Such behavior is cursed!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Resolve the Temptations and Bondage of Status). “Some people think, ‘Anyone who leads is foolish and ignorant and is bringing about their own destruction, because acting as a leader inevitably makes people reveal corruption for God to see. Would there be so much corruption revealed if they didn’t do this work?’ What an absurd idea! If you don’t act as a leader, will you not reveal corruption? Does not being a leader, even if you show less corruption, mean that you have attained salvation? According to this argument, are all those who do not serve as leaders the ones who can survive and be saved? Isn’t this statement too ridiculous? People who serve as leaders guide God’s chosen people to eat and drink the word of God and to experience God’s work. This requirement and standard is high, so it is inevitable that leaders will reveal some corrupt states when they first begin training. This is normal, and God does not condemn it. God not only does not condemn it, but He also enlightens, illuminates, and guides these people, and places extra burdens on them. As long as they can submit to God’s guidance and work, they will progress faster in life than ordinary people. If they are people who pursue the truth, they can embark on the path of being made perfect by God. This is the thing that is most blessed by God. Some people can’t see this, and they distort the facts. According to human understanding, no matter how much a leader changes, God will not care; He will only look at how much corruption leaders and workers reveal, and only condemn them based on this. And for those who are not leaders and workers, because they reveal little corruption, even if they do not change, God will not condemn them. Isn’t this absurd? Isn’t it blasphemy against God? If you resist God so seriously in your heart, can you be saved? You cannot be saved. God determines people’s outcomes mainly based on whether they have the truth and true testimony, and it mainly depends on whether they are people who pursue the truth. If they do pursue the truth, and they can truly repent after they are judged and chastised for committing a transgression, then as long as they do not say words or do things that blaspheme God, they will surely be capable of attaining salvation. According to your imaginings, all ordinary believers who follow God to the end can achieve salvation, and those who serve as leaders must all be eliminated. If you were asked to be a leader, you’d think that it would not be okay not to do it, but that if you were to serve as a leader, you would involuntarily reveal corruption, and that would be just like sending yourself to the guillotine. Isn’t this all caused by your misunderstandings about God? If people’s outcomes were determined based on the corruption that they reveal, no one could be saved. In that case, what would be the point of God doing the work of salvation? If this truly were the case, where would the righteousness of God be? Mankind would be unable to see God’s righteous disposition. Therefore, you have all misunderstood God’s intentions, which shows that you do not have true knowledge of God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Through God’s words I learned that false leaders and antichrists were not revealed and eliminated because they were serving as leaders, but rather because they failed to pursue the truth and walk the right path after gaining status. What’s more, they disrupted and disturbed church work and would not repent no matter how others pruned them—this is the real reason they were revealed and eliminated. God does not condemn people based upon a single revelation of corruption or a single mistake; He takes into account their nature essence and the path they walk. Even though we reveal our corrupt disposition on multiple occasions and commit certain transgressions, as long as we seek the truth and truly repent, God will give us another chance. God only eliminates antichrists and evil people who are averse to and hate the truth and never repent no matter how many transgressions they commit. I thought of the false leaders and antichrists that were revealed and eliminated by God in the past. Some only spoke of words and doctrines and gave orders but failed to resolve actual issues and coveted the benefits of their status. Ultimately, they were defined as false leaders and dismissed. Others only sought after status and reputation while working, vied for fame with others, arbitrarily suppressed and tormented people, severely went against work arrangements and followed their own plans, established an “independent kingdom,” ensnared people, utterly refused to repent and were ultimately revealed as antichrist demons and expelled. These are the types of people who are revealed and eliminated. Realizing this, I came to understand that people are not revealed and eliminated based upon what duty they do, but rather based upon whether they pursue the truth and whether the essence of their humanity is good or evil. If someone does not pursue the truth and has poor humanity, then even if they are not a leader, they will not do their duties well; if they always slack off while working, act perfunctorily and don’t even perform acceptable labor, they will still ultimately be eliminated. I realized that the church handles and arranges people in a very principled manner, that God’s disposition is righteous and that the church is ruled by truth and righteousness. However, I hadn’t seen this fact and had fallaciously thought that being a leader would do me in. My views were so absurd!
One time during my devotionals, I came across this passage of God’s words: “There is no correlation between the duty of man and whether he is blessed or cursed. Duty is what man ought to fulfill; it is his heaven-sent vocation, and should not depend on recompense, conditions, or reasons. Only then is he doing his duty. To be blessed is when someone is made perfect and enjoys God’s blessings after experiencing judgment. To be cursed is when someone’s disposition does not change after they have experienced chastisement and judgment, it is when they do not experience being made perfect but are punished. But regardless of whether they are blessed or cursed, created beings should fulfill their duty, doing what they ought to do, and doing what they are able to do; this is the least that a person, a person who pursues God, should do. You should not do your duty only to be blessed, and you should not refuse to act for fear of being cursed. Let Me tell you this one thing: Man’s performance of his duty is what he ought to do, and if he is incapable of performing his duty, then this is his rebelliousness. It is through the process of doing his duty that man is gradually changed, and it is through this process that he demonstrates his loyalty. As such, the more you are able to do your duty, the more truth you shall receive, and the more real your expression shall become. Those who merely go through the motions in doing their duty and do not seek the truth shall be eliminated in the end, for such people do not do their duty in the practice of truth, and do not practice truth in the performance of their duty. They are those who remain unchanged and will be cursed. Not only are their expressions impure, but everything they express is evil” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Difference Between the Ministry of God Incarnate and the Duty of Man). I felt even clearer after reading God’s words. There is no correlation between the duty one does and whether one is blessed or cursed. It follows from the fact that we are created beings that we ought to fulfill our duties. If someone is unable to fulfill their duty, then they cannot be called a created being. Just as it is right and proper for children to be filial to their parents; regardless of whether they ultimately grant them rights to their property, children ought to fulfill their responsibilities and obligations. As for me, what kind of attitude did I have toward my duty? When I thought that I would have to take on more responsibility as a leader and if I did poorly it would threaten my prospects and destiny, I wanted to look for excuses to get out of the duty and reject it. I didn’t regard the duty as a responsibility or obligation that I ought to fulfill in the slightest. Instead, I looked at duties as a kind of transaction and chose them based on whether they would bring me blessings or curses. I didn’t have the slightest bit of reason that a created being should have in regard to their duty. What’s more, I fallaciously believed that because I wasn’t a professional and didn’t have technical skills in video production, I wouldn’t be able to do my work well. Yet, God clearly says: “In fact, as a leader, after completing work arrangements, you must keep track of the work’s progress. Even if you aren’t familiar with that field of work—even if you lack any knowledge of it—you can find a way to do your work. You can find someone who is knowledgeable, who understands the work in question, to check things over and make suggestions. From their suggestions you can identify the appropriate principles, and thus you will be able to keep track of the work” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (4)). God’s words directly refuted my notions—God never required that we have mastery over all the technical skills in an area in order to be a leader. Even if we have no professional experience in an area, we can always find brothers and sisters with technical knowledge to collaborate with us and seek principles in this fashion. That way, we are still able to do the work, and if we really can’t figure something out, we can seek help from the upper leadership. However, if I put all my heart into it and tried my very best, but my stature was just too small, my caliber was lacking and I was just not up to this work, then I could resign and take on a different duty. Having realized God’s intention, I felt a lot more clear-eyed on the matter and put aside my worries and anxieties.
Later on, I came across another two passages of God’s words that say: “When Noah did as God instructed, he did not know what God’s intentions were. He did not know what God wanted to accomplish. God had only given him a command and instructed him to do something, and without much explanation, Noah went ahead and did it. He did not try to secretly figure out God’s desires, nor did he resist God or show insincerity. He just went and did it accordingly with a pure and simple heart. Whatever God had him do, he did, and submitting and listening to God’s word underpinned his belief in what he did. That was how straightforwardly and simply he dealt with what God entrusted. His essence—the essence of his actions was submission, not second-guessing, not resisting, and moreover, not thinking of his own personal interests or his gains and losses. Further, when God said He would destroy the world with a flood, Noah did not ask when or ask what would become of things, and he certainly did not ask God how He was going to destroy the world. He simply did as God instructed. However God wanted it to be made and made with what, he did exactly as God asked and also commenced action immediately. He acted according to God’s instructions with an attitude of wanting to satisfy God. Was he doing it to help himself avoid the disaster? No. Did he ask God how much longer it would be before the world was to be destroyed? He did not. Did he ask God or did he know how long it would take to build the ark? He did not know that either. He simply submitted, listened, and acted accordingly” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself I). “What are the manifestations of an honest person? Firstly, having no doubts about God’s words. That is one of the manifestations of an honest person. Apart from this, the most important manifestation is seeking and practicing the truth in all matters—this is most crucial. You say that you are honest, but you always push God’s words to the back of your mind and just do whatever you want. Is that the manifestation of an honest person? You say, ‘Although my caliber is poor, I have an honest heart.’ And yet when a duty falls to you, you are afraid of suffering and bearing responsibility if you do not do it well, so you make excuses to shirk your duty or suggest that someone else do it. Is this the manifestation of an honest person? Clearly, it is not. How, then, should an honest person behave? They should submit to God’s arrangements, be loyal to the duty they are supposed to perform, and strive to satisfy God’s intentions. This manifests itself in several ways: One is accepting your duty with an honest heart, not considering your fleshly interests, not being half-hearted about it, and not plotting for your own benefit. Those are manifestations of honesty. Another is putting all your heart and strength into performing your duty well, doing things properly, and putting your heart and love into your duty to satisfy God. These are the manifestations an honest person should have while performing their duty” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Through God’s words I learned that Noah hadn’t heard many of God’s words and had never built an ark before, but when faced with God’s commission, he did not analyze or examine it, and he did not try to guess God’s desires. Rather, he just obeyed, submitted and did whatever God told him to do without considering how it would affect his own interests. Noah’s innocence and honesty had a deep impact on me and I felt quite embarrassed and ashamed. I thought of how my brothers and sisters had selected me as their leader, but when faced with such an important duty, all I could think about were my own interests and I even considered all the possible consequences that might befall me if I took the duty. I saw how deceitful I had been—my humanity was nothing compared with someone like Noah. How could I possibly do my duty well with such an attitude? I came upon a passage of God’s words that say: “What sort of person dares to take on responsibility? What sort of person has the courage to bear a heavy burden? Someone who takes the lead and goes bravely forth at the most crucial moment in the work of God’s house, who is not afraid to bear a heavy responsibility and endure great hardship when they see the work that is most important and crucial. That is someone loyal to God, a good soldier of Christ” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). God’s words deeply touched me—I realized I had to stop considering my own future prospects. I was selected as leader, so I should consider God’s intention, dare to take on this great responsibility and emulate Noah in approaching my duty with an honest and pure heart. At first, I didn’t know where to start in my duty, so I would often pray to God and also received patient support from my partner sister and encouragement from other brothers and sisters. Sometimes, when I encountered difficulties, I would seek out the brothers and sisters who had gotten good results in their work and they would generously share the principles they’d grasped and any effective methods they’d used with me. I was deeply moved. Gradually, I began to grasp certain principles and paths of practice and became more effective in my duty. I truly felt God’s guidance and was particularly grateful to God. I still have many deficiencies and I know I bear a heavy responsibility, but I no longer wish to shrink back—I will rely on God to strive to improve!