By Gao Ying, China

I accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days in 2008. Through reading God’s word, gathering and fellowshipping, I learned that in order to be saved and achieve a wonderful destination, we not only have to seek the truth, but also fulfill our duties as created beings. So, I made a silent oath to seek the truth and fulfill my duty. I noticed that certain brothers and sisters who served as church leaders or group leaders would often fellowship God’s word to resolve issues in gatherings, and were always busying themselves with church work. I thought that they must have received God’s commendation and been seekers of the truth to be assigned to such important duties, so I deeply admired them. On the contrary, I felt that those who performed ordinary duties which didn’t require fellowshipping the truth to solve problems—such as hosting other brothers and sisters, or doing other general affairs—would not win the admiration of others, and also had a very low chance of being saved in the future. Later on, while hosting a church leader, I saw that she often fellowshipped on God’s word to resolve brothers’ and sisters’ issues, so I thought she must certainly understand a considerable amount of truth. When I also noticed that higher-ranking leaders often gathered with her to provide fellowship on God’s word, I thought the church must be cultivating her and that she had a very good chance of being saved. Green with envy, my desire to become a leader grew even stronger and I vowed to myself that I would take on an important duty in the future.

Later on, I became a watering group leader, responsible for overseeing the work of several groups. I was really pleased with this, and thought to myself, “Given that the leader assigned me to perform such an important duty, it must mean I have some of the truth reality and am a truth-pursuer. It looks like I have a chance at being saved, after all.” Realizing this, I continually gave thanks to God. After that, I rushed around busily in the church every day, working to make sure that the newcomers laid down a strong foundation in the true way as soon as possible. But, because I didn’t fellowship the truth clearly, we continually failed to get results in our watering work, and many newcomers still weren’t regularly attending gatherings. I became even more anxious when I saw that most of the newcomers that another group leader was responsible for were regularly attending gatherings and actively performing their duties. I thought, “When our leader sees I haven’t gotten good results in my duty, will she think I don’t have the truth reality and can’t do actual work? If I’m dismissed, how will I ever get to do another duty as important as this? Won’t it be all over for me if the leader reassigns me to do some unimportant general affairs? It’s not a big deal if my brothers and sisters don’t look up to me, but if I lose my chance at a wonderful destination and outcome, that’s a serious issue! This won’t do—I’ve got to get all the watering staff together and find a way to resolve this problem as soon as possible!” After that, I started providing fellowship to each watering team, directing them to provide support to all the newcomers who weren’t attending gatherings and bring them into regular attendance within the next two weeks. However, I didn’t properly fellowship on how to resolve the actual problems and difficulties we were having with the watering work in the first place. Later on, I heard that one of the sisters had broken down in tears, saying that my fellowship hadn’t given her a path of practice and she felt very constrained by me. When she said this, not only did I not take time for self-reflection, I even continued thinking I was in the right. After three months, the groups I supervised still weren’t getting good results, and I was worried that the leader would dismiss me. I thought that as soon as I was dismissed, that would be it for me. God’s work was clearly coming to a close—if I were dismissed and eliminated, how could I attain a favorable destination and outcome? Could I still be saved? Would all my years of faith be in vain? The more I thought, the more panicked I became; I didn’t know what I should do. Ultimately, I just wasn’t cut out for the job and was dismissed. The leader reassigned me to host brothers and sisters based on the church’s current needs.

I was completely floored when the leader delivered my reassignment. “Hosting brothers and sisters? Am I really that bad? I might not have done the best job in my watering work, but it couldn’t have been so bad that I’d be reassigned to hosting. What will the brothers and sisters think of me?” When I remembered how one sister had been reassigned to hosting for the past seven years without ever getting another promotion, I became even more resistant, thinking that I’d have no chance to distinguish myself in such an ordinary duty, and that I’d never be saved. With how much I had expended myself, suffered, and made sacrifices during my years as a believer, I never thought that I’d end up being a host. What could there be to look forward to in my future? That said, it would be completely unreasonable to reject my assignment, so I would just have to submit. I became completely passive, however—when it came to finding a suitable apartment to rent, my legs felt so heavy that I could barely walk. In the midst of my suffering, I prayed several times to God, “Dear God! I know it was with Your permission that the church assigned me to host brothers and sisters, but I just can’t seem to submit. I’m still not willing to do this duty and I feel weak and negative. Oh God! I know I’m in a precarious state, please save me! I don’t want to go on like this.” After concluding prayer, I read some of God’s word: “These days, most people are in this sort of state: In order to gain blessings, I must expend myself for God and pay a price for Him. In order to gain blessings, I must abandon everything for God; I must complete what He has entrusted me with, and I must perform my duty well. This state is dominated by the intention to gain blessings, which is an example of expending oneself for God entirely for the purpose of obtaining rewards from Him and gaining a crown. Such people do not have the truth in their hearts, and it is certain that their understanding merely consists of a few words and doctrines which they show off everywhere they go. Theirs is the path of Paul. The faith of such people is an act of constant toil, and deep down they feel that the more they do, the more it will prove their loyalty to God; that the more they do, the more He will certainly be satisfied; and that the more they do, the more they will deserve to be granted a crown before God, and the greater the blessings they gain will be. They think that if they can endure suffering, preach, and die for Christ, if they can sacrifice their own lives, and if they can complete all of the duties with which God has entrusted them, then they will be those who gain the greatest blessings, and they will be certain to be granted crowns” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). “An antichrist sees being blessed as greater than the heavens, greater than life, more important than pursuing the truth, dispositional change, or personal salvation, and more important than doing their duty well, and being a created being that is up to standard. They think that being a created being that is up to standard, doing their duty well and being saved are all paltry things that are hardly worth mentioning or remarking on, while gaining blessings is the only thing in their entire life that can never be forgotten. In whatever they encounter, no matter how great or small, they relate it to being blessed, and are incredibly cautious and attentive, and they always leave a way out for themselves. So when their duty is adjusted, if it is a promotion, an antichrist will think they have hope of being blessed. If it is a demotion, from team leader to assistant team leader, or from assistant team leader to a regular group member, they predict this to be a major problem and they think their hope of gaining blessings is slim. What sort of outlook is it? Is it a proper outlook? Absolutely not. This view is absurd!” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status and No Hope of Gaining Blessings). Through the exposure of God’s word, I realized that I was only living and seeking in order to gain blessings. It was only in order to gain blessings that I expended myself for God and spared no effort in performing my duty. My beliefs were no different than those of an antichrist—I thought that I had a good chance of gaining blessings as a leader, but if I were reassigned from an important duty to some insignificant duty, my chances of gaining blessings would be slim. Thinking back to when I started believing in God, I really envied the leaders, thinking they were all doing important duties, were of good caliber and pursued the truth. I believed that they would be saved and perfected by God and would certainly gain great blessings in the future. As for those that performed insignificant duties, I thought they lacked the truth reality and barely had a chance of being saved and gaining blessings. As my thoughts were dominated by this idea, I continually sought to become a leader. As a group leader, when I failed to get results in my duty, I did not reflect on myself, but instead worried about being dismissed. In order to maintain my position and achieve quick success, I even used my authority to constrain my brothers and sisters. When the church assigned me to host brothers and sisters after I was dismissed, I was completely averse to the decision. I became negative and slacked off in my duty, thinking that my future prospects would be bleak after taking on such a role. Each one of these situations plainly exposed my obsession with gaining blessings. I realized that I only believed in God, made sacrifices and expended myself in order to gain blessings. I wasn’t submitting to God and doing my duty as a created being in the slightest. I had a purely transactional relationship with God in my duty and was walking the path of an antichrist.

Later on, I came across some of God’s word: “In the house of God, there is constant mention of accepting God’s commission and performing one’s duty properly. How does duty come into being? To speak broadly, it comes into being as a result of God’s management work of bringing salvation to humanity; to speak specifically, as God’s management work unfolds among mankind, various work appears that requires people to cooperate and complete it. This has given rise to responsibilities and missions for people to fulfill, and these responsibilities and missions are the duties God bestows upon mankind. In God’s house, the various tasks that require people’s cooperation are the duties they should perform. So, are there differences between duties in terms of better and worse, lofty and lowly, or great and small? Such differences do not exist; as long as something has to do with God’s management work, is a requirement of the work of His house, and is required by spreading God’s gospel, then it is a person’s duty. This is the origin and definition of duty” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). “For a created being to be able to fulfill the duty of a created being, to be able to satisfy the Creator, is the most beautiful thing among humankind, and is something that should be spread as a tale to be praised by all people. Anything the Creator entrusts to created beings should be unconditionally accepted by them; for humankind, this is a matter of both happiness and privilege, and for all those who fulfill the duty of a created being, nothing is more beautiful or worthy of commemoration—it is something positive. And as for how the Creator treats those who can fulfill the duty of a created being, and what He promises them, this is a matter for the Creator; it is no business of created humankind. To put it a little more plainly and simply, this is up to God, and people have no right to interfere. You will get whatever God gives you, and if He gives you nothing, then there is nothing you can say about it. When a created being accepts God’s commission, and cooperates with the Creator to perform their duty and do what they can, this is not a transaction or a trade; people should not try to trade expressions of attitudes or actions and behaviors to gain any promises or blessings from God. When the Creator entrusts this work to you, it is right and proper that, as created beings, you accept this duty and commission. Is there anything transactional about this? (No.) On the Creator’s side, He is willing to entrust to each and every one of you the duties that people ought to perform; and on the created humankind’s side, people should gladly accept this duty, treating it as their life’s obligation, as the value they should live out in this life. There is no transaction here, this is not an equivalent exchange, much less does it involve any reward or other statements that people imagine. This is by no means a trade; it is not about exchanging the price people pay or the hard work they provide when performing their duty for something else. God has never said that, and it should not be understood in this way by people” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). Through God’s word, I realized that duties are commissions entrusted to people by God. The church assigns people duties based upon the church’s current demand, as well as each person’s caliber and talents. Each duty is important, as each plays a part in spreading and testifying to God’s work in the last days. No one’s duty is more important than any other—each duty is indispensable to the church’s work. As such, I should accept my duty unconditionally and do it to the best of my ability. This is the conscience and reason that a created being should possess. God had graced me with the opportunity to do my duty so that I would pursue the truth while performing it, experience God’s word and work, recognize and resolve my corrupt disposition, and ultimately come to fear and submit to God without being subject to the fetters and ravages of my satanic disposition. Yet, I didn’t understand God’s intention, ranking duties as better or worse and seeing my own duty as a means of gaining blessings. I tried to cheat and use God, fantasizing about gaining blessings as repayment for doing my duty. How selfish and despicable I was! I clearly saw that if I didn’t rectify my incorrect perspective on pursuit, and didn’t resolve my corrupt disposition, then no matter how important my duty was, or how much I expended myself and made sacrifices, I’d never earn God’s commendation and would ultimately be eliminated and punished. Having recognized all this, I realized what a precarious state I was in and was ready to set my intentions right and do my duty well.

Later on, I read the following passages of God’s word: “There is no correlation between the duty of man and whether he is blessed or cursed. Duty is what man ought to fulfill; it is his heaven-sent vocation, and should not depend on recompense, conditions, or reasons. Only then is he doing his duty. To be blessed is when someone is made perfect and enjoys God’s blessings after experiencing judgment. To be cursed is when someone’s disposition does not change after they have experienced chastisement and judgment, it is when they do not experience being made perfect but are punished. But regardless of whether they are blessed or cursed, created beings should fulfill their duty, doing what they ought to do, and doing what they are able to do; this is the least that a person, a person who pursues God, should do. You should not do your duty only to be blessed, and you should not refuse to act for fear of being cursed. Let Me tell you this one thing: Man’s performance of his duty is what he ought to do, and if he is incapable of performing his duty, then this is his rebelliousness” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Difference Between the Ministry of God Incarnate and the Duty of Man). “I decide the destination of each person not on the basis of age, seniority, amount of suffering, and least of all, the degree to which they invite pity, but according to whether they possess the truth. There is no other choice but this. You must realize that all those who do not follow the will of God shall also be punished. This is an immutable fact” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Prepare Sufficient Good Deeds for Your Destination). God’s word taught me that the duty you perform has no bearing on whether you’ll gain blessings or meet with misfortune. A duty is a commission from God, it is man’s responsibility—it is perfectly natural and justified that one should do one’s duty. The key to being saved is to seek the truth, obtain the truth and achieve dispositional transformation. It has nothing to do with what duty one does. Performing an important duty and having a high status does not mean that you have the truth reality. If you don’t seek the truth, don’t change your disposition, and even barter with God to gain blessings, cheat Him, use Him, and disrupt the church’s work, then you too will be revealed and eliminated, never to be saved by God. Even if you’ve been tasked with an outwardly insignificant duty, as long as you try your hardest, seek the truth and achieve dispositional transformation, you will be saved. I thought of the various false leaders who had been revealed and eliminated—they performed important duties, gathered and fellowshipped, expended themselves, endured suffering, and were looked up to by all the brothers and sisters. But they didn’t pursue the truth, only supplied people with doctrinal knowledge. They didn’t practice or experience God’s word in the least; they only expended themselves and made sacrifices to gain blessings and to protect their own status and renown. Despite believing in God for years, they still didn’t know themselves, or change their dispositions, and because they walked the wrong path, they were dismissed. I realized it was absurd and in contradiction with the truth of God’s word to believe that those who endured suffering, expended themselves, had high standing, and performed important duties would be saved and rewarded with a wonderful destination and outcome, while those who did average, insignificant duties had a slim chance of being saved or gaining blessings. I thought of Paul, who had a high position in the church, who spread the gospel far and wide, endured great suffering and earned the admiration and respect of all, including the modern religious world that sees him as a model to learn from. Yet Paul never sought the truth, much less strive to transform his disposition, and only expended himself to gain blessings and a crown. He walked the path of resistance to God and was ultimately punished by Him. By contrast, Peter’s work was not as superficially impressive as Paul’s, but he pursued the truth and love of God in his duty, placed importance on knowing himself and knowing God in God’s judgment and chastisement of him. Ultimately, he was nailed upside down to the cross for God, achieving submission to Him unto death and loving Him to the utmost, through which he was perfected by Him. God is holy and righteous—He won’t bring those who barter with, cheat and resist Him into the kingdom, much less will He allow those of Satan’s ilk who are shot through with corrupt dispositions to remain. Only those who pursue the truth and dispositional transformation, and who ultimately attain the truth and submit to God and follow His will, can enter God’s kingdom. After realizing this, I felt much more liberated and was ready to submit to God and do my best to host brothers and sisters. Just as I prepared to start hosting, however, I got a message from my leader saying that, based on the need of church work, she’d reassigned me to another church to water newcomers. When I got the message, I couldn’t help but give thanks to God. I prayed to God, telling Him that I was ready to buckle down and seek the truth, focus on transforming my disposition, and diligently fulfill my duty.

Today, I’ve gained some recognition of my desire for blessings and my transactional relationship with God. I see how selfish and despicable I was, and am willing to submit and earnestly go about my duty as a created being. This is all due to God’s salvation, and I give great thanks to God.