By Bai Hua, China

I was a people pleaser before. Whenever I’d see one of the brothers or sisters revealing corruption or doing their duty in a perfunctory manner, I wouldn’t dare to point it out to them, in fear of damaging their reputation and leaving them with a bad impression of me. In interacting with the brothers and sisters I went by the satanic philosophy of “Think before you speak and then talk with reservation,” and when I actually did point things out to people to help them, I’d just slip in a casual word or two that underplayed the situation. Sometimes, when I heard the brothers and sisters describe me as amicable, my heart would soar. I’d believe that they liked me, and that therefore, God must also like me. It was only when I was pruned, and when I failed and stumbled, that I was able to gain some understanding of myself, and see clearly the nature, harm, and consequences of being a people pleaser.

I was elected as a church leader in 2018. I knew that one of the most critical parts of serving as a leader was fellowshipping on the truth, resolving others’ difficulties with their life entry, and protecting the church life. But I was afraid of offending anyone, so whenever I discovered a problem, I’d always adopt the tactic of offering kind, gentle advice in handling it. During that time, I noticed the watering deacon, Brother Liu Liang, was being perfunctory, didn’t take on a burden in his duty and that when newcomers encountered problems he didn’t fellowship with them to find a resolution promptly, leaving some of them negative and weak. I was aware of how serious the nature of this problem was, and that I should fellowship with him and dissect how he was being perfunctory in his duty. If he kept on that way without repenting, it would definitely disgust God. But the moment I saw Liu Liang, I just beat a retreat. I thought, “He really values his reputation, so if I point these issues out to him and really hurt his feelings, he certainly won’t think so well of me. If he refuses to accept it, and develops some kind of animosity or estrangement toward me, aside from how embarrassing that will be for me, it will be hard to get along after that. If the brothers and sisters think that I am starting to scold and reprimand people now that I am leader, will they still have a good impression of me? Forget it, I won’t fellowship with him or dissect his problem.” So, I just gently advised him, downplaying the issue, “We need to put more heart into our duties, take on a burden….” As a result, Liu Liang didn’t see the essence of his perfunctory approach to his duty, and continued on the same irresponsible way as always. Seeing this was unsettling for me. As a church leader, I was watching a brother muddle through his duty and impact the church’s work, but I wasn’t resolving it through fellowship on the truth. How was that doing real work? This was a serious dereliction of duty. I felt worse the more I thought about it, but I still couldn’t open my mouth to expose him. I was concerned that if I exposed and pruned him, he might think I lacked compassion, and if he became negative, threw in the towel and quit his duty, the other brothers and sisters might think I was incapable of work. Not only would that compromise our general rapport, but it would also damage my reputation. I thought, “Forget it, I’ve already said something to Liu Liang anyway, so I’ll let him reflect on it over time.” In this way, I never ended up exposing or dissecting his problem.

Later, I noticed that two other brothers who worked with me were always at odds because they had different ideas about things. Neither of them would give ground and their work discussions were never productive. Sometimes after they had stopped arguing, they’d become estranged, which impacted the church’s work. I was aware of how serious the issue was and I thought I shouldn’t waste any time in revealing the manifestations, nature, and consequences of their arrogance, self-righteousness, and stubbornness. But again, I turned tail as soon as I saw them. I figured, “They have both been leaders for years, so they should know about this problem without me mentioning it. Plus, they are both really nice to me, so if I fellowship on the nature and grave consequences of their problem, they might think I am just finding fault with them. Then it would be hard to get along with them. Forget it. They often read God’s words anyway, so they can give it some thought with time.” So, I just gave them a couple words of advice when I saw them fighting again, urging them to calm down without directly exposing them at all.

One day, a sister said to me, “Our church work isn’t going very well. There are obvious problems in some brothers’ and sisters’ duties and you guys aren’t fellowshipping to resolve these things. Doesn’t this lack of doing real work make you false leaders?” It was really upsetting to hear that from her. It was obvious to me that there were problems with some brothers and sisters that I was keeping quiet on. I wasn’t fulfilling a leader’s responsibilities at all. Wasn’t I being a false leader? I knew that if I kept failing to practice the truth, God would spurn me and eliminate me. The prospect of this frightened me, and I said a prayer: “God, I’ve seen some brothers and sisters living in their corrupt dispositions, and our church life and various aspects of church work are seriously impacted, but I can’t put the truth into practice to fix this. God, please guide me to know myself.”

I read this in God’s words after my prayer: “Practicing the truth is not about saying empty words or shouting slogans. Rather it is about how, no matter what people encounter in life, as long as it involves the principles of human conduct, their perspectives on things, or the matter of performing their duties, they are faced with making a choice, and they should seek the truth, search for a basis and principles in God’s words, and then find a path of practice. Those who can practice in this way are people who pursue the truth. To be able to pursue the truth in this way no matter how great the difficulties one encounters is to walk the path of Peter, the path of pursuing the truth. For example: What principle should be followed when it comes to interacting with others? Perhaps your original viewpoint is that ‘Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance,’ and that you should keep on everyone’s good side, avoid causing others to lose face, and offend no one, thereby achieving good relations with others. Constricted by this viewpoint, you keep silent when you witness others doing bad things or violating the principles. You would rather that the work of the church suffers losses than offend anyone. You seek to stay on everyone’s good side, no matter who they are. You think only about human sentiments and saving face when you speak, and you always speak nice-sounding words to please others. Even if you discover that someone has problems, you choose to tolerate them, and just talk about them behind their back, but to their face you keep the peace and maintain your relationship. What do you think of such conduct? Is it not that of a people pleaser? Is it not pretty slippery? It violates the principles of human conduct. Is it not lowly to conduct yourself in such a manner? Those who act like this are not good people, this is not a noble way to conduct oneself. No matter how much you have suffered, and no matter how many prices you have paid, if you conduct yourself without principles, then you have failed in this respect, and your conduct will not be recognized, remembered, or accepted before God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. To Perform One’s Duty Well, One Must at Least Be Possessed of a Conscience and Reason). Reading God’s words exposing people pleasers was really troubling for me. I wasn’t resolving problems in the church not because I didn’t see them clearly, but because I didn’t want to offend anyone, and I was afraid they’d see me poorly. I was trying to protect my own image and status. God detests people like me who don’t act on principle or practice the truth, who are selfish and deceitful. I thought back on how I’d been behaving. I had seen that Liu Liang was always perfunctory in his duty and was holding up our watering work, so I should have exposed and dissected the nature of his behavior. But I was afraid of everyone seeing me in a bad light, that they would say I was scolding and finding fault with people now that I was a leader, so I never dissected the nature of Liu Liang’s problem to protect my image. I just said something that touched lightly on the problem without doing anything to help. And even when I saw those two brothers who could never get along, and the serious impact it had on our church work, I never exposed or dissected the matter to help them understand themselves. The church’s work suffered as a result. I lived by satanic philosophies such as “Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance,” “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship,” and “One more friend means one more path.” Wanting to protect my reputation and status and be seen as a nice guy by everyone, I saw things clearly but didn’t fully share what I thought. This not only harmed other brothers and sisters, but also delayed the church’s work. I saw I was totally lacking in conscience and reason and didn’t have the slightest devotion to God. How was that being a good person? Even if I got along well with everyone on the surface and the others all said I was a good person and had a good impression of me, before God, I wasn’t fulfilling any duty. In God’s eyes, I was an unfaithful, untrustworthy person. I was disgusting God. Realizing this, I quickly repented to God. I knew I couldn’t continue on like that, and that I had to seek the truth to resolve this problem of mine.

I read this in God’s words after that: “What is the consequence of their pursuit of fame, gain, and status? First, this affects how God’s chosen people eat and drink God’s word normally and understand the truth, it hinders their life entry, stops them from entering the right track of faith in God, and leads them onto the wrong path—which harms the chosen ones, and brings them to ruin. And what does it ultimately do to the work of the church? It is disturbance, impairment, and dismantlement. This is the consequence brought about by people’s pursuit of fame, gain, and status. When they do their duty in this way, can this not be defined as walking the path of an antichrist? When God asks that people put aside fame, gain, and status, it is not that He is depriving people of the right to choose; rather, it is because, while pursuing fame, gain, and status, people disrupt and disturb the work of the church and the life entry of God’s chosen people, and can even have an influence on more people’s eating and drinking God’s words, understanding the truth, and thus achieving God’s salvation. This is an indisputable fact. When people pursue their own fame, gain, and status, it is certain that they will not pursue the truth and that they will not faithfully fulfill their duty. They will only speak and act for the sake of fame, gain, and status, and all the work they do, without the least exception, is for those things’ sake. To behave and act in such a way is, without question, to walk the path of antichrists; it is a disruption and disturbance of God’s work, and all its various consequences are hindering the spread of the kingdom gospel and the carrying out of God’s will within the church. So, one may say with certainty that the path walked by those who pursue fame, gain, and status is the path of resistance against God. It is intentional resistance against Him, naysaying Him—it is to cooperate with Satan in resisting God and standing in opposition to Him. This is the nature of people’s pursuit of fame, gain, and status. The problem with people pursuing their own interests is that the goals they pursue are the goals of Satan—they are goals that are wicked and unjust. When people pursue personal interests such as fame, gain, and status, they unwittingly become a tool of Satan, they become an outlet for Satan, and, moreover, they become an embodiment of Satan. They play a negative role in the church; toward the work of the church, and toward the normal church life and normal pursuit of God’s chosen people, the effect they have is to disturb and impair; they have an adverse and negative effect” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part One)). I saw in God’s word that the nature and consequences of being a people pleaser who safeguards their own interests and doesn’t practice the truth are disrupting and sabotaging the work of God’s house and being a minion of Satan. If I stayed that way without repenting, I would be spurned and eliminated by God. As a church leader, my responsibility is to fellowship on the truth to resolve the brothers’ and sisters’ problems and difficulties in their life entry, and to look after church life. But instead, when I saw people’s problems, I wasn’t helping them change, exposing and dissecting the essence of their behavior, rather, I was being a people pleaser to protect my own status and reputation, acting as Satan’s lackey, bringing harm upon the work of the church and the lives of the brothers and sisters. I was firmly under the control of my corrupt disposition, too cowardly to practice the truth and uphold justice. I was Satan’s lackey, feeble and incompetent, living so despicably, so pathetically. If I didn’t start practicing the truth and rebel against myself, I was truly unworthy of living before God! Without the judgment and exposure of His words, I’d have never been aware of my own corruption or known the dangers and consequences of being a people pleaser and not practicing the truth. I was willing to rebel against myself and to stop being a people pleaser.

I read a couple passages of God’s word later that gave me some paths of practice. God’s words say: “In essence, God is faithful, and so His words can always be trusted; His actions, furthermore, are faultless and unquestionable, which is why God likes those who are absolutely honest with Him” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Three Admonitions). “If you have the motivations and perspective of a people pleaser, then, in all matters, you will be incapable of practicing the truth and abiding by principle, and you will always fail and fall down. If you do not awaken and do not ever seek the truth, then you are a disbeliever, and you will never gain the truth and life. What, then, should you do? When faced with such things, you must pray to God and call out to Him, begging for salvation and asking that He give you more faith and strength and enable you to abide by the principles, do what you should do, handle things according to the principles, stand firm in the position you should stand in, protect the interests of God’s house, and prevent any harm from coming to the work of God’s house. If you are able to rebel against your self-interests, your pride, and your standpoint of a people pleaser, and if you do what you should do with an honest, undivided heart, then you will have defeated Satan and gained this aspect of the truth. If you always persist in living by the philosophy of Satan, protecting your relationships with others, never practicing the truth, and not daring to abide by the principles, then will you be able to practice the truth in other matters? You will still have no faith or strength. If you are never able to seek or accept the truth, then will such faith in God allow you to obtain the truth? (No.) And if you cannot obtain the truth, can you be saved? You cannot. If you always live by the philosophy of Satan, utterly devoid of the truth reality, then you can never be saved. It should be clear to you that obtaining the truth is a necessary condition for salvation. How, then, can you obtain the truth? If you are able to practice the truth, if you can live by the truth, and the truth becomes the basis of your life, then you will gain the truth and have life, and so you will be one of those who are saved” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). By reading this, I saw that God likes honest people. Honest people aren’t focused on protecting their relationships with others, and they don’t care how they’re seen, but God has a place in their hearts. They uphold principles in all things, have a sense of justice, and are faithful to God. But thinking again about myself, I saw that I cared too much about my interpersonal relationships, reputation, and status. When things happened that required protecting the interests of the church and practicing the truth, I consistently took Satan’s side, not daring to uphold the truth principles; I always rebelled against and resisted God, hurting and disappointing Him. In fact, telling the truth and pointing out someone’s problem isn’t to embarrass them. Doing that is really beneficial, whether it’s about a brother or sister, or regarding the church’s work. If I notice someone revealing corruption but don’t call attention to the nature or consequences of this type of action, they’ll never realize how serious their problem is, and they will not be able to change. This not only hinders their life entry, but it also impacts the church’s work, and it’s disgusting to God because I’m living within a corrupt disposition and not protecting the work of the church. I always was so preoccupied with my reputation and status, always concerned with others’ opinions without prioritizing God’s. I wasn’t considering how to act in line with the truth. I was always constrained by my corrupt disposition—I was such a fool. I couldn’t keep letting my corrupt disposition take the lead and I didn’t want to be a spineless laughingstock of Satan. I had to be an honest person with a sense of justice who pleased God. Understanding this, I gained the resolve to practice the truth and rebel against the flesh. I would uphold the principles and stand on God’s side in protecting the work of the church, regardless of how others saw me. I sought out the two brothers the next day and just as I was getting ready to point out their problem, I started to feel a little worried, thinking, “What if they can’t accept being exposed and pruned and take it out on me? How can I show my face then?” I realized I was being constrained by my corrupt disposition, so I said a prayer, asking God to help me practice the truth. Then I remembered something God said: “Being unable to uphold My testimonies and interests is betrayal. Offering false smiles when far from Me in heart is betrayal” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. A Very Serious Problem: Betrayal (1)). From God’s words I understood that if I kept being a people pleaser and not practicing the truth or protecting the interests of the church, then I was betraying God. I knew I had to stop protecting interpersonal relationships, and no matter what they thought of me after I spoke up about their problem, I had to face God and practice the truth. And so, I exposed their arrogance and uncooperative behavior, and the essence and consequences of these things. I also found some words of God to read to them. After listening, they were able to reflect and know themselves in light of God’s words and wanted to repent and change. I was so happy to see that they were able to know themselves, but I also felt kind of guilty. If I had been able to practice the truth and help them know how serious their problem was earlier, they could have turned things around sooner. They wouldn’t have kept living in corruption, being harmed and toyed with by Satan, and they especially wouldn’t have held up the church’s work. I always used to be afraid that if I pointed out others’ problems, they’d be annoyed and they would then have something against me. But in fact, that was all in my head. As long as someone can accept the truth, they won’t develop any prejudices, but they will be able to learn a lesson. This way of practicing is beneficial for others and for myself.

I had more confidence in practicing the truth and being an honest person after that. I wasn’t as constrained by thoughts of status and reputation. When I saw my brothers’ and sisters’ problems, I could share fellowship and help them right away, exposing and dissecting their issues. I really felt God’s love and salvation through these experiences. It was the judgment and exposure of God’s word that changed my people-pleasing mentality. I felt that practicing the truth was so relaxing and gave real peace of mind, so much better than always bending over backward, afraid of causing offense. I was also able to live with a bit of a human likeness. I saw that only God’s words are the truth, and they can give us a direction and a path for what we do and who we are. Living as an honest person according to God’s words is the only way to be a good person.