By Kristina, USA

In the summer of 2019, I heard that Sister Jocelyn, a church leader, had assigned Brother Eli as the supervisor of watering work, saying that his caliber was pretty good and that his fellowship in gatherings was enlightening. I was a little taken aback by the news. I’d worked with him in my duty before, so I knew a fair bit about him. It was true that he was a good talker and would speak non-stop in his fellowship at gatherings, but most of what he had to say was just words and doctrines and didn’t really resolve real problems. He was also pretty arrogant and tended to do things his own way, and he’d make work decisions on his own without discussing things with others. This had led to some problems that harmed the work of the church. A sister and I brought these problems up with him several times, but he kept arguing back, wouldn’t accept it, never reflected on himself, and in the end he never did change. After a while, I realized that he was someone who was always spouting words and doctrines, but couldn’t accept the truth. A principle for electing leaders and workers in the church is that the individual has to have a pure understanding of the truth, they have to be able to accept the truth, have a sense of responsibility, and have a good caliber. Moreover, the supervisor of watering work should be good at resolving issues through fellowship on the truth and should be able to do some real work. Jocelyn made Eli the supervisor of watering work only because he had a bit of caliber and was eloquent. That was not in line with the principles. I got more uneasy the more I thought about it, and I wanted to go share my thoughts with Jocelyn, but I hesitated. I thought to myself, “I’ve just been dismissed from my duty as the supervisor of watering work. If I objected to the person who has just been selected by the leader, how would that make me look? Would people say that I’d just been dismissed from that duty, so I was jealous of the person who had gotten the position, and that I was going out of my way to find fault with him? What if they said I was disrupting the church’s work? Never mind, it’s better to keep things simple instead of sticking my neck out looking for trouble.” So I swallowed my words just as I was about to open my mouth. Later on, I heard that some brothers and sisters had also worked with Eli before, and they felt that he never shouldered a burden for his duty, and that he wasn’t a good fit to serve as the supervisor. Hearing this, I felt even more certain that I was right about him and I thought, “I should talk to Jocelyn as soon as possible so that the work of the church won’t be delayed because the wrong person has the job. But she was the one who appointed Eli, so if I bring it up with her, won’t that be finding fault with her right to her face? When I’ve worked with her before, I’ve found her to be quite arrogant, self-righteous and overbearing. I talked to her about these things and not only did she refuse to accept it, but she really gave me a dressing-down. So if I mention a problem with the person she has promoted now, she might think I was being difficult with her, and that I was trying to trip her up. Then what would I do if she made things hard for me? I remember a few years ago when a sister and I pointed out some faults of a leader, that leader accused us of ganging up and attacking him. I lost my duty over that. Even though that leader was later exposed as an antichrist and expelled, I didn’t have a duty for a long time because I was being held back by the antichrist. I’m worried that Jocelyn might not accept the problem I bring up, and will then find an excuse to take my duty away from me. What would I do then? Now is the most critical time for doing duty. If I can’t do a duty and prepare good deeds at a time like this, I’m worried I’ll lose my chance at salvation. Then won’t I lose overall?” At that thought, I put the idea of mentioning the problem out of my head.

After that, I heard some brothers and sisters say that since Eli became the supervisor of watering work, he’d just been spouting words and doctrines and shooting his mouth off in gatherings, and he wasn’t helping people with their real problems at all. He wasn’t taking on responsibility in his duty, either, and among the newcomers he was responsible for, quite a few had stopped going to gatherings because they’d been misled by the Communist Party’s rumors. He hadn’t offered them fellowship and support in time, so some of them had abandoned the faith. I realized how serious the problem was when I heard about this. If he kept serving as the supervisor, it would just do more harm to the church’s work, and I knew I had to report this to Jocelyn right away. But I was afraid of offending her and getting myself in trouble, so I was really conflicted: “Should I report it, or not? If I do, I’m afraid of the impact it will have on me, but if I don’t, I will feel guilty about it. I wonder how I can bring it up in a way that protects myself and guarantees nothing will go wrong.” I became tangled up in these thoughts like I was stuck in a spiderweb, leaving me uneasy and restless.

One time in a gathering, our group leader asked us if we had any opinions on Eli’s promotion, and if so, we should send him a message about them. I was really excited to hear that and thought, “This is a great opportunity. He will be at the forefront, and he will collect our opinions to share with the leader, then the leader wouldn’t know who had written what. If she really tries to dig into it, the group leader will be the safeguard out in front.” I therefore wrote out the problems I saw and gave that to the group leader. The next morning, to my surprise, he told me that he’d already forwarded what I reported to the leader. I felt so anxious as soon as I heard that he hadn’t shared things with the leader as feedback from our group as a whole. I asked, “Why did you just forward my message directly to Jocelyn?” Seeing what a strong reaction I had, he said, “Everyone’s thoughts were passed along to the leader and we should all be honest about our opinions. What is there to worry about?” I didn’t know what to say in response to this. I was surprised and kind of embarrassed, thinking, “That’s right, why was I too afraid to be up front about the problem?” I came before God in prayer, seeking guidance and reflecting on myself.

As I was reflecting, I read a passage of God’s words: “What kind of person is one who lacks conscience and does not have the reason of normal humanity? Generally speaking, they are a person who lacks humanity, a person of extremely poor humanity. Going into more detail, what manifestations of lost humanity does this person exhibit? Have a go at analyzing what characteristics are found in such people and what specific manifestations they present. (They are selfish and base.) Selfish and base people are perfunctory in their actions and stand aloof from anything that does not concern them personally. They do not consider the interests of God’s house, nor do they show consideration for God’s intentions. They take on no burden of performing their duties or testifying for God, and they have no sense of responsibility. … There are some people who do not take any responsibility regardless of the duty they are performing. They don’t promptly report problems they discover to their superiors, either. When they see people being disruptive and disturbing, they turn a blind eye. When they see evil people committing evil, they don’t try to stop them. They don’t protect the interests of the house of God, or consider what their duty and responsibility is. When they perform their duty, people like this don’t do any real work; they are people pleasers and are greedy for comfort; they speak and act only for their own vanity, face, status, and interests, and are only willing to devote their time and effort to things that benefit them. The actions and intents of someone like that are clear to everyone: They pop out whenever there is an opportunity to show their face or to enjoy some blessing. But, when there is not an opportunity to show their face, or as soon as there is a time of suffering, they vanish from sight like a tortoise retracting its head. Does this kind of person have conscience and reason? (No.) Does a person without conscience and reason who behaves in this way feel self-reproach? Such people have no sense of self-reproach; the conscience of this kind of person serves no purpose. They have never felt reproach from their conscience, so can they feel the reproach or discipline of the Holy Spirit? No, they cannot” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Giving One’s Heart to God, One Can Obtain the Truth). God’s words described the exact state I was in. I knew the leader wasn’t appointing people according to principles, and I saw that Eli wasn’t doing real work as the supervisor, and that he was hindering brothers’ and sisters’ life entry. I should have stood up and reported the problem to safeguard the church’s work. That is my bounden duty as one of God’s chosen people. But instead, I was scared I’d offend Jocelyn and that I’d lose my duty, so I turned a blind eye to the problem. Even though I did share my opinion with the group leader in writing, I didn’t want Jocelyn to know I was the one who’d written it, and I was afraid it would cause problems for me. I realized that I’d just been thinking of my personal interests in everything, not at all about how to safeguard the interests of the church. I was so lacking in conscience and reason. I’d enjoyed so much watering and sustenance from God’s words, but when the work of the church was suffering, I just thought about protecting myself. I didn’t have any loyalty to God. I was biting the hand that fed me. I didn’t have any humanity at all. I felt more guilty the more I thought about it, and I wondered: “Why was I so wracked with fear, so anxious when I encountered such an issue? Saying a single honest word was so taxing for me—what sort of disposition was I being controlled by?”

Later I read a passage of God’s words that made it all clear for me. Almighty God says: “Most people wish to pursue and practice the truth, but much of the time they merely have a resolution and the desire to do so; the truth has not become their life. As a result, when they come across evil forces or encounter evil people and bad people committing evil deeds, or false leaders and antichrists doing things in a way that violates principles—thus disturbing the work of the church and harming God’s chosen ones—they lose the courage to stand up and speak out. What does it mean when you have no courage? Does it mean that you are timid or inarticulate? Or is it that you do not understand thoroughly, and therefore do not have the confidence to speak up? Neither; this is primarily the consequence of being constrained by corrupt dispositions. One of the corrupt dispositions you reveal is a deceitful disposition; when something happens to you, the first thing you think of is your own interests, the first thing you consider is the consequences, whether this will be beneficial to you. This is a deceitful disposition, is it not? Another is a selfish and base disposition. You think, ‘What does a loss to the interests of God’s house have to do with me? I’m not a leader, so why should I care? It’s got nothing to do with me. It’s not my responsibility.’ Such thoughts and words are not something that you consciously think, but are produced by your subconscious—which is the corrupt disposition revealed when people encounter an issue. Corrupt dispositions such as this govern the way you think, they bind your hands and feet, and control what you say. In your heart, you want to stand up and speak, but you have misgivings, and even when you do speak out, you beat around the bush, and leave yourself wiggle room, or else you prevaricate and don’t tell the truth. People who are clear-eyed can see this; in truth, you know in your heart that you have not said all you should, that what you have said has had no effect, that you were merely going through the motions, and that the problem has not been solved. You have not fulfilled your responsibility, yet you say overtly that you have fulfilled your responsibility, or that what was happening was unclear to you. Is this true? And is it what you really think? Are you not then completely under the control of your satanic disposition? Even though some of what you say is in line with the facts, in key places and on crucial issues, you lie and deceive people, which proves that you are someone who lies, and who lives by their satanic disposition. Everything you say and think has been processed by your brain, leading to your every utterance being fake, empty, a lie; actually, everything you say is contrary to the facts, for the sake of justifying yourself, for your own benefit, and you feel you have achieved your aims when you have misled people and made them believe. Such is the way you speak; it also represents your disposition. You are wholly controlled by your own satanic disposition. You have no power over what you say and do. Even if you wanted to, you could not tell the truth or say what you really think; even if you wanted to, you could not practice the truth; even if you wanted to, you could not fulfill your responsibilities” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Reading God’s words, I understood that I wasn’t practicing the truth or safeguarding the work of the church because I was deceitful, selfish, and despicable by nature. I thought about how I knew that Jocelyn wasn’t following the principles in her appointment of Eli and then how he was compromising the church’s work because he wasn’t doing any real work. I saw all of this as clear as day and I knew that I should point these things out, that this would be helpful for the church’s work, and that this would benefit everyone’s life entry, but I never mustered up the courage to stand up and say something. Then, when my group leader took the initiative, I finally put my views in writing, but when I found out that he had passed it directly on to the leader, I was disgruntled and felt like he’d exposed me. I was racking my brains, calculating how to protect myself so that I didn’t stand to lose anything. I was going by the satanic philosophies of “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Let things drift if they do not affect one personally,” “Sensible people are good at self-protection, seeking only to avoid making mistakes,” and “The bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot.” These things were controlling my thoughts, keeping me bound under their spell, and making me cunning and deceitful. Though I had faith and read God’s words, there was no place whatsoever for God in my heart. I could hardly say a single honest thing or shed light on an actual situation. I was a lapdog for Satan, living a pathetic existence. I was selfish, despicable, and lacking even a shred of humanity. It really made God detest me. I felt incredible regret and silently said a prayer to God: “Oh God, I’m so selfish and deceitful. I didn’t take any responsibility when I saw a problem and I wasn’t practicing the truth or protecting the work of the church. I’ve been living in such a pathetic way. God, I don’t want to live this way anymore. I want to practice the truth and satisfy You.” I felt a little more confidence after my prayer and I stopped worrying about how Jocelyn might react after reading my report.

I had thought that after reading our reports of her problems, Jocelyn would be aware that she was violating principles in appointing Eli, but she did not reflect on herself and did not dismiss him promptly. Also, I discovered that she wasn’t actually dealing with problems of projects going slowly or being ineffective. I thought: “She can’t accept the truth or do any real work, so based on the principles of discerning false leaders, it looks very likely that that is exactly what she is.” I wanted to report this to the higher-ups, but again, I hesitated, thinking, “What if she found out, what would she think of me? If she isn’t dismissed but stays on as a leader, would she look for excuses to suppress me? Never mind. Refusing to change or do real work is her problem, so I should just do my own duty well and see how things go.” So I left the matter as it was.

A little while later I heard that there was a leader at another church who’d been exposed as an antichrist and kicked out. He’d done quite a bit of evil in his time as leader, and everyone saw this, but nobody dared speak up. Not a single person in the whole church reported on him, and even after he was exposed and kicked out, they still didn’t bring the evil things he’d done to light. They just shifted the blame, claiming ignorance. They were all covering for and siding with that antichrist, opposing God by acting as accomplices of Satan, which really offended God’s disposition. As a result, the whole church was isolated so they could reflect on themselves. This made a really big impression on me, and it reminded me of some of God’s words: “If a church contains no one who is willing to practice the truth and no one who can stand firm in their testimony to God, then that church should be completely isolated, and its connections with other churches must be severed. This is called ‘burying death’; this is what it means to spurn Satan. If a church contains several local bullies, and they are followed by ‘little flies’ that entirely lack discernment, and if people in such a church, even after having seen the truth, are still incapable of rejecting the binds and manipulation of these bullies, then all those fools will be eliminated in the end. These little flies might not have done anything terrible, but they are even more deceitful, even more slick and evasive, and everyone like this will be eliminated. Not a single one shall remain! Those who belong to Satan will be returned to Satan, while those who belong to God will surely go in search of the truth; this is decided by their natures. Let all those who follow Satan perish! No pity will be shown to such people. Let those who search for the truth be provided for, and may they take pleasure in God’s word to their hearts’ content. God is righteous; He would not show favoritism to anyone. If you are a devil, then you are incapable of practicing the truth; if you are someone who searches for the truth, then it is certain that you will not be taken captive by Satan. This is beyond all doubt” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. A Warning to Those Who Do Not Practice the Truth). From God’s words, I got a sense of His majestic, righteous disposition that tolerates no offense and His wrath for those who don’t put the truth into practice. Even though it seemed on the surface like they didn’t do anything truly evil, they looked on while the antichrist did evil and they did nothing to report or expose him. They allowed the antichrist to run rampant, ruining the work of the church, but didn’t lift a finger. They were covering for the antichrist and were Satan’s accomplices. This was taking part in the antichrist’s evil and it seriously offended God’s disposition. Wasn’t I exactly the same? I’d read so much of God’s word and I’d gained some discernment. I saw that the leader wasn’t following the principles in her selection of personnel, that she couldn’t accept the truth, and what’s more, that she didn’t do real work, which had already been a hindrance to the work of the church. I saw that she was a false leader but I was afraid I would offend her, and that she would suppress me, so I let it slide because it didn’t affect me personally. I felt like whether she changed or not was her business, and had nothing to do with me. I’d enjoyed so much sustenance from God, but I still bit the hand that fed me and stood on Satan’s side. I saw the interests of the church being compromised, yet I did nothing. Wasn’t I just like Satan? Though I was performing a duty, God was keeping watch over every little thing I did. I knew if I didn’t repent, I would be detested and eliminated by Him. This was a terrifying thought for me. I prayed and repented to God right away: “God, I saw a false leader acting in a way that does not accord with principles and disrupting church work but I didn’t expose and report her, just so I could protect myself. I’ve been an accomplice to Satan. I’m so rebellious and detestable. God, I want to repent to You.”

Afterward, I wondered, “Why was I so scared to report the leader’s problems? What was I really afraid of?” Through my prayer and seeking, I read a couple passages of God’s words that helped me understand the issue better. The words of God say: “What is the attitude that people should have in terms of how to treat a leader or worker? If what a leader or worker does is right and in line with the truth, then you can obey them; if what they do is wrong and not in line with the truth, then you should not obey them and you can expose them, oppose them and raise a different opinion. If they are unable to do actual work or do evil deeds that cause a disturbance to church work, and are revealed to be a false leader, a false worker, or an antichrist, then you can discern, expose and report them. However, some of God’s chosen people do not understand the truth and are particularly cowardly; they fear being suppressed and tormented by false leaders and antichrists, so they don’t dare uphold principles. They say, ‘If the leader kicks me out, I’m finished; if he has everyone expose or forsake me, then I will no longer be able to believe in God. If I’m expelled from the church, then God will not want me and will not save me. And won’t my faith have been for nothing?’ Is such thinking not ridiculous? Do such people have true faith in God? Would a false leader or antichrist be representing God when they expel you? When a false leader or antichrist torments and expels you, this is the work of Satan, and has nothing to do with God; when people are cleared out or expelled from the church, this is only in line with God’s intentions when there is a joint decision between the church and all of God’s chosen people, and when the clearing out or expulsion is wholly in line with the work arrangements of God’s house and the truth principles of God’s words. How could being expelled by a false leader or antichrist mean you cannot be saved? This is the persecution of Satan and the antichrist, and does not mean that you will not be saved by God. Whether or not you can be saved depends on God. No human being is qualified to decide whether you can be saved by God. You must be clear about this. And to treat your expulsion by a false leader or antichrist as being expelled by God—is this not misinterpreting God? It is. And this is not only misinterpreting God, but also rebelling against God. It is also kind of blasphemous against God. And is misinterpreting God in this way not ignorant and foolish? When a false leader or antichrist expels you, why do you not seek the truth? Why don’t you seek out somebody who understands the truth in order to gain some discernment? And why do you not report this to the higher-ups? This proves that you do not believe that the truth reigns supreme in the house of God, it shows that you do not have true faith in God, that you are not someone who truly believes in God. If you trust in the almightiness of God, why do you fear the retaliation of a false leader or antichrist? Can they determine your fate? If you are capable of discernment, and detect that their actions are at odds with the truth, why not fellowship with God’s chosen people who understand the truth? You have a mouth, so why do you dare not speak up? Why are you so afraid of a false leader or antichrist? This proves that you are a coward, a good-for-nothing, a lackey of Satan. If, when threatened by a false leader or antichrist, you dare not report them to the higher-ups, this shows that you have already been bound by Satan and that you are of one heart with them; is this not following Satan? How could someone like this be one of God’s chosen people? They are scum, pure and simple” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Three: They Exclude and Attack Those Who Pursue the Truth). “All of God’s work or words related to humanity’s destination will deal with people appropriately according to each individual’s essence; not the slightest error will occur, and not a single mistake will be made. It is only when people do work that human feelings or meaning enter the mix. The work God does is most appropriate; He absolutely does not bring false claims against any created being” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). After reading this, I saw that I didn’t dare report on the leader’s problem because my perspective was all fallacious. I was thinking that a leader could determine my future and fate, so if I offended a leader and they suppressed me, and stopped me from performing a duty, then I’d lose all hope of salvation. I saw leaders as being even higher than God. In what way was I a believer? Man’s fate is in God’s hands. What my final outcome is, and whether I can be saved is entirely up to God. It is not decided by any human being. Even though I’d been mistreated in the past for pointing out issues in a leader’s work, the brothers and sisters later realized that he was an antichrist and he was removed from the church. I hadn’t lost my chance at salvation because I temporarily suffered from an antichrist’s unfair suppression, but I did develop discernment about antichrists and learn some lessons. There are some brothers and sisters who expose and report false leaders and antichrists to protect the work of the church, and then the false leaders and antichrists suppress and lash out at them. Some of them are even kicked out of the church, but because they have true faith and continue sharing the gospel and doing their duty, they still have the Holy Spirit’s work and God’s guidance. They can still prepare good deeds and meet with salvation. When the antichrists are exposed and removed, then they are allowed back into the church. This showed me that God is righteous and that the truth reigns in God’s house. God rules over all things. I thought again about that church where not a single person exposed the antichrist and everyone just turned a blind eye to his evil deeds, ignoring what didn’t impact them personally, giving the antichrist free rein to disrupt the church. Even though they weren’t suppressed and could keep doing their duty in the church, they were siding with the antichrist, standing against God. In the end the whole church was hated and spurned by God. Thinking about it, I came to believe that not reporting false leaders and antichrists is safeguarding Satan and harming God’s chosen people, and that not reporting them when they disturb the work of the church offends God’s disposition. I felt kind of afraid, and really despised myself. This gave me the motivation to put the truth into practice.

I thought of this passage of God’s words: “Do not always do things for your own sake and do not constantly consider your own interests; do not consider the interests of man, and give no thought to your own pride, reputation, and status. You must first consider the interests of God’s house, and make them your priority. You should be considerate of God’s intentions and begin by contemplating whether or not there have been impurities in the performance of your duty, whether you have been loyal, fulfilled your responsibilities, and given it your all, as well as whether or not you have been wholeheartedly thinking about your duty and the work of the church. You must consider these things” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). God’s words showed me a path to practice. In facing this matter I had to put the interests of the church first, I had to prioritize that and consciously rebel against my wrong motives. I had to stop putting my personal interests first. So I wrote out the problems that I had seen and got ready to report them to a higher leader. Just then, a few other sisters told me that they had also noticed that Jocelyn didn’t do real work, had not been solving longstanding problems in the church, that she promoted people as she wished and that she kept refusing to dismiss some people of poor caliber who were incompetent in their work, and who had for a long time been perfunctory in their duty, using the excuse that she couldn’t find any suitable candidates. This had done a lot of damage to the work of the church. According to the principles, Jocelyn was a false leader. So we wrote a letter reporting her together, and submitted it to a leader.

Later, the upper leaders looked into the situation, and they discovered that Jocelyn never did real work, was dictatorial in her approach, and used her status to constrain others. She was identified as a false leader and removed from her position. Eli was found to be unsuitable as the supervisor of watering work, too, so he was assigned to another duty. All sorts of feelings welled up for me when I saw how it had turned out. I saw that in God’s house, Christ and the truth really do hold sway, and I felt more confidence to put the truth into practice. I was overcome with gratitude for God. I’m so grateful for the enlightenment and guidance of God’s words that allowed me to gradually break free of the control and bonds of those satanic philosophies, and to summon the courage to practice the truth, to report a false leader, and live with some dignity!