78. How Being Cunning Harmed Me
Once when we were summing up our work, a church leader pointed out that our gospel work hadn’t gone very well recently, and asked me to explain it. It was only then that I realized our productivity had declined. After the meeting, I rushed to look into the matter, and found that our productivity had dropped by half compared to the previous month. This made me quite anxious: “If we go on like this, doing so poorly, will I be dismissed? That won’t do—I have to get to the bottom of the matter, and raise our productivity again.” So I spoke to the brothers and sisters one by one, asking them about any problems or difficulties in their duty. In gatherings, I fellowshipped specifically on these issues and had those who were doing well share their experiences. Over the next few days, we started doing quite a bit better and I could finally put my heart at ease: “If things go on like this, we’ll do a little better than last month. If I keep this up, don’t do any evil or anything disruptive, I’ll be able to stay in the church and won’t be eliminated.” After that, my tension started to ease. Approaching the end of the month, I noticed the results of our work were the same as the month before. I thought: “If we do well this month, we’ll have to do even better next month for it to look like I’m making progress. That means expending even more effort. Do I really need the pressure? We’ve done alright this month anyway—I won’t be dismissed or eliminated.” When I thought about it that way, I completely relaxed. In performing my duty, I just went through the motions, becoming complacent, and I stopped following up on our work so closely. When the brothers and sisters mentioned their struggles, I didn’t fellowship to resolve them. Sometimes when I found some of them violating the principles in their duty, I did nothing about it. I just thought these were individual problems, and it was fine as long as it didn’t impact our overall effectiveness. Sometimes I noticed that my brothers and sisters were getting lazy in their duty and lacked a sense of urgency. I knew this was a problem that should be addressed, but as soon as I remembered we were getting decent results, I figured being lax was normal and turned a blind eye. When I was living in that state, I felt a real spiritual darkness. I wasn’t gaining any enlightenment or illumination from God’s words. Nor was I uncovering any problems in my work—I’d even get sleepy and nod off when we were summarizing the work. Only when I saw our productivity kept declining did I start to panic—then I’d rush to check in with the brothers and sisters to find where we were going wrong.
Then I listened to a sister speak at a gathering: “When some people realize they haven’t been doing well in their duty, they get afraid of being reassigned or dismissed. That’s when they start to make an effort. But once they get some results, they become greedy for comfort and put down their burden. This is a cunning way to do one’s duty—it’s deceitful behavior.” This stirred up some feelings for me. I couldn’t help but self-reflect: When our productivity declined, I mustered up my energy for fear of being reassigned or dismissed. I wanted to get better results. When I got better results or they stayed the same, I coveted comfort and in my duty I would go through the motions and drag my heels. I thought it was good enough to get consistent results every month and not get dismissed. Wasn’t that being cunning and slippery? I realized that every time I encountered this kind of situation, what I exposed and how I behaved was the same. At that point I felt a little afraid.
During my devotionals, I read God’s words: “There are not many opportunities currently to perform a duty, so you must take hold of them when you can. It is precisely when faced with a duty that you must exert yourself; that is when you must offer yourself up, expend yourself for God, and when you are required to pay the price. Do not hold anything back, harbor any schemes, leave any leeway, or give yourself a way out. If you leave any leeway, are calculating, or are wily and treacherous, then you are bound to do a poor job. Suppose you say, ‘No one saw me acting in a slick way. How cool!’ What kind of thinking is this? Do you think you have pulled the wool over people’s eyes, and over God’s, too? In actual fact, though, does God know what you have done or not? He knows. In fact, anyone who interacts with you for a while will learn of your corruption and vileness, and though they may not say so outright, they will have their assessments of you in their hearts. There have been many people who were revealed and eliminated because so many others came to understand them. Once everyone saw through to their essence, they exposed those people for who they were and kicked them out. So, whether they pursue the truth or not, people should do their duty well to the best of their ability; they should employ their conscience in doing practical things. You may have defects, but if you can be effective in performing your duty, you will not be eliminated. If you are always thinking that you are fine, that you are sure not to be eliminated, if you still do not reflect or try to know yourself, and you ignore your proper tasks, if you are always perfunctory, then when God’s chosen people really do lose their tolerance with you, they will expose you for who you are, and in all likelihood, you will be eliminated. That’s because everyone has seen through you and you have lost your dignity and integrity. If no one trusts you, could God trust you? God scrutinizes man’s innermost heart: He absolutely could not trust such a person” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Life Entry Begins With the Performance of Duty). God’s words say that the attitude people should have in their duty is to put their heart into it and pay a price, to give it their all. If they can get good results by paying a little more price but they’re holding back, content to achieve just a little in their duty, then they are playing games with God, and being cunning. I could see my own behavior in my duty—I was content to achieve a little just to make sure I wasn’t reassigned or dismissed. I didn’t find ways to resolve brothers’ and sisters’ problems and difficulties. When summing up our work I just went through the motions, and when I saw some of them going against the principles in their duty or being lazy, I thought it was fine as long as it didn’t impact our overall achievements. I turned a blind eye to it. Clearly, putting my heart into the work and paying a bit more of a price could improve our results, but I didn’t want to get tired or stressed out, so I engaged in trickery. In my duty, I was harboring petty cleverness, scheming, and cheating God. That was really deceitful! When commissioning others, everyone wants to find someone who’s honest and reliable—the kind of person who’s dependable and puts people’s minds at ease. But if you commission someone who harbors petty cleverness and plays games, not only will they not get the task done, but they might even ruin it. That kind of person doesn’t have a conscience or reason, nor even the basic standards of conduct. They’re not remotely worthy of confidence or being entrusted with anything. I saw I was just like that. I took on a duty but didn’t give it my all. I played games with God and was sly. It looked like I was getting some results in my duty, and other people didn’t notice any problems, but God sees all. If I kept on being perfunctory for long, I’d eventually be revealed and eliminated by God. I thought of God’s words: “The Lord Jesus once said, ‘For whoever has, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whoever has not, from him shall be taken away even that he has’ (Matthew 13:12). What is the meaning of these words? What they mean is that if you don’t even carry out or dedicate yourself to your own duty or job, God shall take away what was once yours. What does it mean to ‘take away’? How does that make people feel? It could be that you fail to attain that which your caliber and gifts could have allowed you to, and you feel nothing, and are just like a nonbeliever. That is what it is to have everything taken away by God. If, in your duty, you are remiss, and do not pay a price, and you are not sincere, God shall take away what was once yours, He shall take back your right to perform your duty, He shall not give you this right” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). God is righteous. I was being sly and perfunctory in my duty, not doing what I should have nor what I was able to, so I could no longer spot obvious problems, I was always getting sleepy in my duty, and my productivity declined. This was God revealing His disposition to me. I came before God in prayer, ready to repent to Him, asking Him to guide me to know myself better.
Then, at a gathering, I read a passage of God’s words that really impacted me. God’s words say: “God loves honest people, but hates deceitful and slippery people. If you are a treacherous person and attempt to play tricks, will God not loathe you? Will God’s house simply let you off the hook? Sooner or later, you will be held accountable. God likes honest people and dislikes treacherous people. Everyone should understand this clearly, and stop being confused and doing foolish things. Momentary ignorance is excusable, but refusing to accept the truth at all is just obstinacy. Honest people can take responsibility. They do not consider their own gains and losses, they just safeguard the work and interests of God’s house. They have kind and honest hearts that are like bowls of clear water that one can see the bottom of at a glance. There is also transparency in their actions. A deceitful person always plays tricks, always disguises things, covers up, and wraps themselves up so tightly that no one can see through them. People can’t see through to their inner thoughts, but God can scrutinize the deepest things in their heart. If God sees that they are not an honest person, and that they are slippery—never accepting the truth, always engaging in deceit against God, and never handing their heart over to Him—then God will not like them, He will loathe and abandon them. Those who prosper among the nonbelievers, who are silver-tongued and quick-witted, what kind of people are they? Is this clear to you? What is their essence? It can be said that they are all extraordinarily shrewd, they are all extremely deceitful and treacherous, they are the genuine devils and Satans. Could God save someone such as this? God loathes nothing more than devils—people who are deceitful and treacherous. God definitely will not save such people, so you absolutely must not be this kind of person. … What is God’s attitude toward people who are deceitful and treacherous? He spurns them, He sets them aside and pays them no heed, He regards them as of the same class as animals. In God’s eyes, such people are merely wearing human skin; in their essence, they are of the same kind as the devils and Satan, they are walking corpses, and God will never save them. What is the state of these people now? There is darkness in their hearts, they lack true faith, and no matter what happens to them, they are never enlightened or illuminated. When faced with disaster and tribulations, they pray to God, but God is absent, and they have no one they can truly depend on in their hearts. In order to receive blessings, they try to put on a good show, but they can’t help themselves, for they are without conscience or reason; they couldn’t be good people even if they wanted to, they couldn’t control themselves even if they wanted to stop doing bad things, they have to do these things. Might they be capable of knowing themselves after they are sent away and eliminated? Although they will know that they deserved this punishment, they will not say it, and even though they appear capable of doing a duty, they will still play tricks, and their work will not get clear results. So what do you say: Are these people able to truly repent? Absolutely not. This is because they do not possess conscience or reason and they do not love the truth. God does not save such treacherous and evil people. What hope is there in believing in God for such people? Their belief is already bereft of significance, and they are destined to gain nothing from it. If, throughout their faith in God, people do not pursue the truth, then it doesn’t matter how many years they have been a believer; in the end, they will gain nothing” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). Reading those words—“slippery,” “deceitful,” “extraordinarily shrewd,” “God will never save them,” and “they are destined to gain nothing”—pricked my heart. I felt like God was exposing and condemning me. I’d always thought that you shouldn’t be too candid, that you had to be calculating and have tricks up your sleeve. I lived by the satanic philosophy that you have to take advantage, not be taken advantage of, weighed whether I’d stand to benefit before doing anything, and expected to get the greatest return for the smallest effort. I believed that was what made a person clever. I kept carrying out that philosophy for living after gaining my faith. I thought I couldn’t be too honest in my duty or put all my energy into it, that would be foolish. If it ended up that I wasn’t blessed, wouldn’t that be a tremendous loss? I couldn’t withstand losing. Better to expend just a little but get great blessings—that’s the smart way! So I put effort into my duty only when I judged it necessary, and was always gauging if effort was needed. I was very calculating. When productivity was high I enjoyed a couple days of rest. Even when I saw there were problems in the work, if it didn’t impact our effectiveness and I wouldn’t be dismissed and eliminated, I didn’t have any sense of urgency, and I’d just float through the days. If we were doing poorly and I’d bear the consequences, I’d work hard, find the reasons for it, and resolve the problems. Once we got some results my anxiety would settle and I’d start to revel in my comforts and get some more rest. I was so cunning and deceitful! How was that doing a duty or being devoted to God? I thought I was quick-witted, but God sees all. God absolutely won’t save people who are always cunning in their duty. God likes honest people—honest people open their hearts to God. They are wholehearted in their duties. They fulfill their responsibilities and give everything they have, and don’t leave themselves a way out or consider whether they’ll be blessed. God will bless that kind of person. I had been the person in charge of the gospel work, and by being cunning, perfunctory, and not caring about progress, I had prevented the others from having their negative states and problems resolved in time, and had caused our work productivity to decline. It not only hurt the brothers and sisters, but also hindered the gospel work of the church. I felt so much regret and self-reproach when I thought about that. I prayed to God that I was ready to repent, and swore before Him that I’d put all my energy into my duty from then on, and stop being crafty and perfunctory.
Then I read a passage of God’s words in my devotionals that helped me understand the meaning of doing a duty. God’s words say: “Regardless of what duty one performs, it is the most proper thing they could do, the most beautiful and just thing among humankind. As created beings, people ought to perform their duty, and only then can they receive the approval of the Creator. Created beings live under the Creator’s dominion, and they accept all that is provided by God and everything that comes from God, so they should fulfill their responsibilities and obligations. This is perfectly natural and justified, and was ordained by God. From this it can be seen that, for people to perform the duty of a created being is more just, beautiful, and noble than anything else done while living on earth; nothing among humankind is more meaningful or worthy, and nothing brings greater meaning and worth to the life of a created person, than performing the duty of a created being. On earth, only the group of people who truly and sincerely perform the duty of a created being are those who submit to the Creator. This group does not follow worldly trends; they submit to the leadership and guidance of God, only listen to the words of the Creator, accept the truths expressed by the Creator, and live by the words of the Creator. This is the truest, most resounding testimony, and it is the best testimony of belief in God. For a created being to be able to fulfill the duty of a created being, to be able to satisfy the Creator, is the most beautiful thing among humankind, and is something that should be spread as a tale to be praised by all people. Anything the Creator entrusts to created beings should be unconditionally accepted by them; for humankind, this is a matter of both happiness and privilege, and for all those who fulfill the duty of a created being, nothing is more beautiful or worthy of commemoration—it is something positive. … Such a beautiful and such a great thing is twisted by the ilk of the antichrists into a transaction, in which they solicit crowns and rewards from God’s hand. Such a transaction turns something most beautiful and just into something most ugly and wicked. Is this not what the antichrists do? Judging from this, are the antichrists not wicked? They are quite wicked indeed! This is a manifestation of their wickedness” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). Reading God’s revealing words had a big impact on me. God quietly gives His all to save corrupt mankind, nurturing us with what we need and giving us a chance to do a duty so that in the course of that, we can pursue the truth and resolve our corrupt dispositions, submit to God, be devoted to Him, and gain His salvation. Doing a duty in the church is our responsibility, our obligation, and it’s God giving us a chance to gain the truth and be saved. This is the most wonderful, most just task a person can take on. But antichrists take this beautiful, just thing and twist it into a business, into something transactional. They hold on to the hope of being blessed in their faith and their duty. They can’t possibly have sincerity, or suffer and pay a price. They’re textbook disbelievers and opportunists. Looking at how I acted in my duty, wasn’t I just like them? I wasn’t considering God’s intentions in my duty, and I always held something back. I wanted to get a lot in return for giving very little. Wasn’t I turning my duty into something transactional? I always used to think that as long as I had results in my duty, could stay in the church, and wasn’t dismissed or eliminated, I could be saved. But I finally saw those were my own notions and imaginings that weren’t in line with God’s words. God never said that accomplishing a bit in your duty, not doing evil, and not being dismissed or eliminated, meant you’d be saved. God determines whether people can be saved based on whether they pursue the truth, whether they enter into the truth reality in their duty, and if they resolve their corrupt dispositions. There are no other shortcuts. God wants people to be genuine. If people are always cunning and perfunctory in their duty, even though they may achieve some things, God detests them. They’ll end up revealed and eliminated by God. I thought of something the Lord Jesus said: “Because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of My mouth” (Revelation 3:16). I wasn’t thinking about progress in my duty, and was simply going through the motions. Wasn’t that attitude of being neither hot nor cold just being lukewarm? Wouldn’t God spit me out of His mouth? Knowing that God’s disposition tolerates no offense was frightening. I said a prayer, “God, I want to repent. From now on I’ll put everything into my work. Please discipline me if I muddle through.”
I read another passage of God’s words later on that gave me a path of practice. Almighty God says: “When people perform their duty, they are, in fact, doing what they ought to do. If you do it before God, if you perform your duty and submit to God with an attitude of honesty and with heart, will this attitude not be far more correct? So how should you apply this attitude to your everyday life? You must make ‘worshiping God with heart and honesty’ your reality. Whenever you want to be slack and just go through the motions, whenever you want to act in a slippery way and be lazy, and whenever you get distracted or would rather be enjoying yourself, you should consider: ‘In behaving like this, am I being untrustworthy? Is this putting my heart into doing my duty? Am I being disloyal by doing this? In doing this, am I failing to live up to the commission God has entrusted to me?’ This is how you should self-reflect. If you come to find out that you are always perfunctory in your duty, that you are disloyal, and that you have hurt God, what should you do? You should say, ‘In the moment I sensed that there was something wrong here, but I didn’t treat it as a problem; I just glossed over it carelessly. I didn’t realize until now that I really had been perfunctory, that I had not lived up to my responsibility. I truly am lacking in conscience and reason!’ You have found the problem and come to know a bit about yourself—so now, you must turn yourself around! Your attitude toward performing your duty was wrong. You were careless with it, as with an extra job, and you did not put your heart into it. If you are perfunctory like this again, you must pray to God and let Him discipline and chasten you. You must have such a will in performing your duty. Only then can you truly repent. You may turn yourself around only when your conscience is clear and your attitude toward performing your duty is transformed. And as you repent, you must also reflect often on whether or not you really have put all your heart, all your mind, and all your strength into performing your duty; then, using God’s words as the measure and applying them to yourself, you will learn what problems still lie in the performance of your duty. By constantly resolving problems in this way, according to God’s word, are you not bringing the performance of your duty with all your heart, mind, and strength into reality? To perform your duty in such a way: have you not already done so with all your heart, mind, and strength?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only in the Frequent Reading of God’s Words and Contemplation of the Truth Is There a Way Ahead). God’s words gave me a clear path of practice. I need to use my heart and be honest in my duty, be willing to pay a price, be attentive and responsible, and put in all of my energy so I can do my duty well and satisfy God. Also, when I want to be perfunctory and lazy, I should pray, rebel against the flesh, and ask for God’s discipline and chastening. That way, I won’t be likely to follow the flesh.
I followed God’s words after that. I considered how to do my duty well and be more productive. I knew that all the brothers and sisters on the team had their strengths and weaknesses, so I thought about how to arrange everyone’s work to allow their strengths to flourish, and gave them real guidance and help in the areas they were lacking. Also, before, I had felt like I was a supervisor—as long as I had a good handle on the work and the others did well in their duties, that meant I was doing well and could enjoy a bit of leisure time. Now I set a goal for myself to do my duty to the best of my ability. My schedule became incredibly full every day, busier than before, and sometimes I got really tired, but I felt really at ease, at peace. And to my surprise, the next month our productivity increased noticeably. I was thrilled. I could see that God wants us to be genuine. When I changed my perspective and genuinely did my duty, I could see His guidance and get results in my duty. Thank God!