By Bernard, Cameroon

I used to think of myself as a very smart person, one who could do anything and everything without the help of others. Both at school and at home, I could always jump in with the answer to a question when my brothers didn’t know it, and I looked down on them for that. My older brothers said I was arrogant and conceited and that I should consider the feelings of others more, but I thought they were just saying that out of jealousy, so I didn’t take their accusations to heart.

In 2019, I accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days. Soon, I began to water newcomers who had just accepted God’s work. Of the three sisters who worked with me, two of them had only accepted God’s work for a few months. The other was Sister Jonna, who assisted me in my work. I was selected as the group leader at the time, which meant to me that I was the best in the group. As we worked together, when they asked “can it be done this way” or “do you want to do it that way,” I often shut them down, saying “no, it cannot,” or “no, I do not.” I felt the work should be done as I instructed. For example, every time after newcomer gatherings Sister Jonna would ask, “Should we ask the newcomers if they understood everything?” I would reply, “There is no need. I already asked them during the gathering. They understand, so we do not need to ask again.” When Sister Jonna said, “When you fellowship and bear witness to the truth of God’s work, you should speak in more detail. This will help potential gospel recipients quickly determine that God’s work is real,” I responded without thinking, “I’ve already said everything. There is no need to repeat it.” Sometimes, Sister Jonna would tell me to go learn about the newcomers’ situations, but I did not want to. I thought that as the group leader I should be telling her what to do, and not the other way around. Sometimes, Sister Jonna would ask if the newcomers were certain about God’s work. Seeing how she was constantly getting involved in my work, I got angry and said, “You are not the group leader, so you have no right to tell me how to do my job!” At that time, I was very arrogant, not only did I refuse to cooperate harmoniously with Sister Jonna, I wouldn’t cooperate with the other two sisters either. I rarely assigned any work to them, instead taking care of newcomers all by myself. Since they had only just recently accepted God’s work, I figured there were many truths about visions my sisters did not understand, which would keep them from doing their job well. When hosting gatherings with them, I always spoke a lot and did not give them time to fellowship. I was worried they would not fellowship well and the newcomers would not understand them. In actuality, the newcomers could understand my two sisters just fine. I simply didn’t want them to fellowship, because I looked down on them. Once, to give the newcomers a foundation in the true way as quickly as possible, I wanted to fellowship on several more aspects of the truth, but my sisters said, “You can’t do that. Our gathering is only an hour and a half. If you fellowship about too much, there will not be enough time for the newcomers to understand everything completely. We can split the fellowship across several gatherings.” I was reluctant to accept their opinions at the time, and instead did my best to convince them to listen to me. In the end, they had no other choice but to agree. Later on, we were watering more than twenty newcomers. Almost all of them came to the first gathering, but at the next few I saw that more and more newcomers were absent. In the end, only three of the original twenty-plus newcomers were still coming to gatherings. This had never happened to me before and it made me very confused and negative. One day, the leader asked me about my state. I said, “Not good. The results of my duty have been very poor lately. At every gathering I properly fellowship with the newcomers, then I ask them if they understand and they always say ‘yes, I understand,’ but now they’re not coming back to gatherings and I don’t understand why.” The leader told me, “You should reflect upon yourself. It could be that you are doing something to make these newcomers not want to come to gatherings.” The leader continued, “Have you asked your three sisters if they have noticed something wrong with your watering content or methods?” I said, “No, I don’t think they would give good advice.” The leader replied, “That’s the problem. You should ask their opinions instead of only trusting in yourself.” When the leader put it like that, it sounded right. It never occurred to me to ask my sisters for their opinions. I always thought I was a better worker than them, and that their ideas were useless.

Then the leader sent me a passage of God’s word: “When you are cooperating with others to perform your duties, are you able to be open to differing opinions? Are you able to let others speak? (I am, a little. Before, a lot of the time I wouldn’t listen to the suggestions of the brothers and sisters and would insist on doing things my own way. Only later, when the facts proved I was wrong, did I see that most of their suggestions had been correct, that it was the resolution that everyone discussed that was actually suitable, and that by relying on my own views I was unable to see things clearly and that I was lacking. After experiencing this, I realized how important harmonious cooperation is.) And what can you see from this? After experiencing this, did you receive some benefit, and understand the truth? Do you think anyone is perfect? No matter how strong people are, or how capable and talented, they still are not perfect. People must recognize this, it is fact, and it is the attitude that people should have to correctly approach their own merits and strengths or faults; this is the rationality that people should possess. With such rationality, you can properly deal with your own strengths and weaknesses as well as those of others, and this will enable you to work alongside them harmoniously. If you have understood this aspect of the truth and can enter this aspect of the truth reality, then you can get along harmoniously with your brothers and sisters, drawing on their strong points to offset any weaknesses you have. In this way, no matter what duty you are performing or what you are doing, you will always get better at it and have God’s blessing. If you always think you are pretty good and that others are worse by comparison, and if you always want to have the final say, then this will be troublesome. This is a problem of disposition. Are such people not arrogant and self-righteous?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words pointed out my problem. God says: “When you are cooperating with others to perform your duties, are you able to be open to differing opinions? Are you able to let others speak?” As I looked at God’s questions, I reflected on how I’d cooperated with my three sisters during that time. I refused to accept each and every suggestion they gave me. Even if their opinions were good or correct, I still disagreed because I didn’t want them to think I was beneath them. I thought I was the best, and therefore the only one who could give good advice. I was the leader of the group, so they should listen to me, it shouldn’t be me listening to them. God’s words say that everyone has shortcomings and needs help from others, but I always thought that I was the best, and that I was superior to others. Was this not arrogance and conceit? I saw in God’s words that God detests such people.

Later, I read another passage of God’s word: “When work always has to be redone as people perform their duty, the biggest problem is not a deficiency in specialist knowledge or lack of experience, but because they are too self-righteous and arrogant, because they do not work harmoniously, but decide and act alone—with the result that they make a mess of the work, and nothing is achieved, and all the effort is wasted. And the most grievous problem in this is people’s corrupt dispositions. When people’s corrupt dispositions are too grievous, they are not good people, they are evil people. The dispositions of evil people are much more severe than ordinary corrupt dispositions. Evil people are liable to commit evil deeds, they are liable to disrupt and disturb the work of the church. All that evil people are capable of when they perform a duty is to do things badly and mess things up; their laboring is more trouble than it’s worth. Some people are not evil, but they perform their duty according to their own corrupt dispositions—and they, likewise, are incapable of performing their duty properly. In sum, corrupt dispositions are extremely obstructive to people performing their duty properly. Which aspect of people’s corrupt dispositions, would you say, has the greatest impact on the effectiveness with which they perform their duty? (Arrogance and self-righteousness.) And what are the chief manifestations of arrogance and self-righteousness? Making decisions alone, going your own way, not listening to other people’s suggestions, not consulting with others, not cooperating harmoniously, and always trying to have the final say on things. Even though a good few brothers and sisters may be cooperating to perform a particular duty, each of them attending to their own task, certain group leaders or supervisors always want to have the final say; whatever they are doing, they never cooperate harmoniously with others, and they do not engage in fellowship, and they rashly do things without reaching consensus with others. They make everyone listen only to them, and herein is the problem” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Proper Fulfillment of Duty Requires Harmonious Cooperation). These words of God touched me deeply. I did not understand why I could not do my duty effectively before. Only after reading God’s word did I understand it was because my arrogant disposition made it impossible for me to cooperate with others. During my time working with the three sisters, I always had the final say. This was apparent every time we discussed the content of an upcoming gathering: Everyone would give their views and opinions, after which we should have chosen the main theme of the gathering together to ensure that it would be effective. Instead, I made my own decisions without ever taking their opinions into account, because I thought my opinion was best and I didn’t need to listen to others. When anyone raised an objection, I found various reasons to refuse it. I was too arrogant to accept other people’s advice, so my duty lacked God’s guidance and was therefore not effective. To me, this failure was a revelation.

One day, a sister sent me two passages of God’s word. God says: “If, in your heart, you truly understand the truth, then you will know how to practice the truth and submit to God, and will naturally embark on the path of pursuing the truth. If the path you walk is the right one, and in line with God’s intentions, then the work of the Holy Spirit will not leave you—in which case there will be less and less chance of you betraying God. Without the truth, it is easy to do evil, and you will do it despite yourself. For example, if you have an arrogant and conceited disposition, then being told not to oppose God makes no difference, you can’t help yourself, it is beyond your control. You would not do it on purpose; you would do it under the domination of your arrogant and conceited nature. Your arrogance and conceit would make you look down on God and see Him as being of no account; they would cause you to exalt yourself, constantly put yourself on display; they would make you scorn others, they would leave no one in your heart but yourself; they would rob you of God’s place in your heart, and ultimately cause you to sit in the place of God and demand that people submit to you, and make you venerate your own thoughts, ideas, and notions as the truth. So much evil is done by people under the dominance of their arrogant and conceited nature! To resolve the problem of doing evil, they must first resolve their nature. Without a change in disposition, it would not be possible to bring a fundamental resolution to this problem” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Pursuing the Truth Can One Achieve a Change in Disposition). “You must remember: Performing your duty is not a matter of engaging in your own enterprise or your own management. This is not your personal work, it is the work of the church, and you only contribute the strengths you have. What you do in God’s management work is but a small part of man’s cooperation. Yours is just a minor role in some corner. That is the responsibility you bear. In your heart, you should have this reason. And so, no matter how many people are performing their duties together, or what difficulties they face, the first thing everyone should do is pray to God and fellowship together, seek the truth, and then determine what the principles of practice are. When they perform their duties in this way, they will have a path to practice. Some people are always trying to show off, and when given responsibility for a job, they always want to have the final say. What kind of behavior is this? This is being a law unto oneself. They plan what they do on their own, without informing others, and do not discuss their opinions with anyone; they neither share them with anyone nor open them up but keep them hidden in their hearts. When the time comes to act, they always want to amaze others with their brilliant feats, to give everyone a big surprise, so that others will think highly of them. Is that performing their duty? They are trying to show off; and when they have status and renown, they will begin to run their own operation. Are such people not possessed of wild ambitions? Why would you not tell anyone what you are doing? As this work is not yours alone, why would you act without discussing it with anyone and make decisions on your own? Why would you act in secret, operating in a black box, so that no one knows about it? Why would you always try to make people heed you alone? Clearly you view this work as your own personal work. You are the boss, and everyone else is a worker—they all work for you. When you constantly have this mindset, is this not trouble? Is what this kind of person reveals not the very disposition of Satan? When people like this perform a duty, sooner or later they will be eliminated” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Proper Fulfillment of Duty Requires Harmonious Cooperation). Only by reading God’s word did I realize that arrogance had become my nature, and what I naturally revealed. The moment I had some status in the church, I wanted to use it as an opportunity to show off my abilities. I wanted to prove that I was the best and that picking me as group leader was the right choice. I also wanted to prove to my partners that I was better than them and I didn’t need their advice or help. Because of my arrogance, I always thought I knew everything and that it was useless to listen to anybody else. I treated my own thoughts as if they were truth, made others do things as I wanted them done, and didn’t seek the truth or rely on God in my duty. Instead, I relied on my own experience and intelligence to water newcomers, forcing others to obey me. I lived trapped in my arrogant disposition, didn’t accept the truth, and made others listen to me. Isn’t that Satan’s disposition? Before I believed in God, I was already a very arrogant person. I looked down on people who were inferior to me, including my brothers. I remember when I was a child my father would scold me loudly when I didn’t test highest in my class, “You have to get the highest score on your exams, ahead of everyone else!” My grandmother also used to tell me, “You have to strive to be the best, that’s the only way you’ll get respect!” Because of this, I always tried to stand above everyone else and be number one. To me, that was the only way I could show others I was the best. I thought listening to others made me look bad, so I didn’t want to take advice from them. Only from God’s word did I realize that this view was entirely wrong. I always put myself above others and refused to listen to anyone else, and that is Satan’s disposition. If I didn’t change, I would not only fail to achieve good results in my duty, I would do evil and resist God. In the end, I would be eliminated by God. Reading God’s word also made me understand that doing my duty is not my personal enterprise, it is the church’s work and I should do this work according to God’s requirements. When I encounter difficulties, I should work with others and we should seek the truth together to overcome them. Before making a decision, I should also seek advice from others. If I did not consider the opinions of others and always acted unilaterally, delaying the church’s work, then doing my duty in this way was not preparing good deeds, but instead evil deeds. At this realization, I wanted to change my attitude toward my duty and be able to cooperate harmoniously with my brothers and sisters.

During my devotionals, I saw another passage of God’s word: “What do you say, is it hard to cooperate with other people? It isn’t, actually. You could even say it is easy. But why do people still feel this to be difficult? Because they have corrupt dispositions. For those who possess humanity, conscience, and reason, cooperating with others is relatively easy, and they can feel that this is something joyful. This is because it is not easy for anyone to accomplish things on their own, and whatever the field they’re involved in, or what they’re doing, it is always good to have someone there to point things out and offer assistance—much easier than doing it by themselves. Also, there are limits to what people’s caliber is capable of or what they themselves can experience. No one can be a master of all trades: It is impossible for one person to know everything, to be capable of everything, to accomplish everything—that is impossible, and everyone should possess such reason. And so, no matter what you do, whether it be important or not, you will always need someone there to help you, to give you pointers and advice, or to do things in cooperation with you. This is the only way to ensure that you will do things more correctly, make fewer mistakes and be less likely to go astray—it is a good thing” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). After contemplating God’s word, I understood that only by cooperating with others could I truly fulfill my duties and live out normal humanity. I used to think that because some of my partners had only accepted God’s work for a few months and just started watering newcomers, there were many things they didn’t understand, while I, on the other hand, had believed in God for three years and had more experience than them, so I never accepted their suggestions and opinions. Only now did I see that this view was wrong. Although I believed in God for longer and had more experience than them, that didn’t mean I was better than them at everything. Without cooperating with my brothers and sisters, it was impossible for me to perform my duty well. For example, I didn’t have a strong understanding of certain truths, causing me to fellowship badly at some gatherings. I needed a partner to help elaborate for the fellowship to be clear. Sometimes, newcomers couldn’t come to gatherings due to illness or work, and I couldn’t find any of God’s word that applied to their situations, so I also needed my partners’ assistance. In truth, everyone has the chance to be enlightened by God. God didn’t only enlighten me. I thought too highly of myself and thought of others as idiots. This was a mistake, and it was foolish. God’s enlightenment and guidance don’t depend on how much work experience we have, it depends on whether we can seek and accept the truth. In actuality, everyone has their own strengths, just like Sister Jonna, who bore a burden in her duty and often gave good suggestions. I should have cooperated with my sister and learned from her strengths to make up for my shortcomings.

Later, I tried to listen to the opinions of the sisters I was partnered with in my duty. At the end of every gathering, when my sisters asked me to ask the newcomers individually if they understood the content of that day’s gathering, I did as they suggested and no longer resisted as I used to. When they asked me to fellowship with the newcomers in more detail to try and alleviate their confusion, I did that as well. Sometimes, they also gave me some ideas for better watering the newcomers, and after accepting them, I carried them out. After practicing in this way, I saw more newcomers attending gatherings, and this made me very happy. I thought of God’s words: “The Holy Spirit not only works in certain people who are used by God, but, furthermore, in the church. He could be working in anyone. He may work in you during the present time, and you will experience this work. During the next period, He may work in someone else, in which case you must haste to follow; the more closely you follow the present light, the more your life can grow. No matter what manner of person someone is, if the Holy Spirit works in them, then you must follow. Take in their experiences through your own, and you will receive even higher things. In so doing you will progress more quickly. This is the path of perfection for man and the means by which life grows” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Those Who Submit to God With a True Heart Shall Surely Be Gained by God). God’s words made me understand even more clearly that I can’t be arrogant and conceited and insist on my way while doing my duty. Instead, I must listen to the advice of others more. This is because the Holy Spirit enlightens and illuminates everyone. No matter how long a person has believed in God or whether they have status, as long as what they say is in line with the truth, we should accept and submit. If we refuse to listen, we will not receive God’s guidance in our duty. Through this experience, I learned the importance of cooperating harmoniously with my brothers and sisters and not insisting on my own way in my duty.