19. Does Being Understanding Mean Having Good Humanity?

By Wang Yin, China

In 2016, Sister Ding Rui and I were partnered to oversee several churches’ work. Not long after that, an upper leader had Ding Rui go to a church to take care of a report letter there. However, she came back in no time. I was thinking the issue there was complicated. She came back after so little time—did she resolve the issue? Unsurprisingly, a letter came for Ding Rui from the upper leader before long and said that she hadn’t fully resolved the problem and someone else needed to go look into it again. The leader told Ding Rui to do some real self-reflection and learn a lesson from that. Ding Rui got pretty down after reading that, and said, “I can’t fix real problems in my duty and I delayed the church’s work.” I knew a bit about what was in that report letter, and it was a fairly complex issue. It involved lots of people and would require fellowship on plenty of things. Those involved had to be spoken with individually, so it couldn’t be fully done quickly. I wondered if Ding Rui was too eager to wrap things up. I thought about pointing it out to her, and helping her self-reflect and know herself. But then I thought that she was already feeling sad, and if I pointed out her problems, she might feel embarrassed and become even more negative. And then what if she said I lacked empathy, and she grew distant and biased against me? We were newly partnered, so it would be hard to get along if things got tense between us. At a time like that, if I said some comforting, encouraging things she’d feel I was understanding and easy to get along with. So I consoled her saying, “It’s totally normal for us to make mistakes and fail sometimes in our work. Don’t be too hard on yourself. When I was new to handling report letters, I had worse failures than you.” Then I told her about my experiences of failure in my work. That anxious look immediately disappeared from her face, and she said happily, “I was worried about what you’d think of me. I hadn’t imagined you were such a sweet person.” I was really pleased with myself when I heard her say that. I felt like I had good humanity and was understanding. Another time, Ding Rui told me about how she and a sister hadn’t been able to work well together. She always talked about the other sister’s problems, and she seemed really angry when she talked about it. I noticed she was kind of petty and lacked self-awareness. I remembered hearing the leader talk before about them not getting along. The other sister had an arrogant disposition, but Ding Rui loved nitpicking, and when things came up, she didn’t accept them from God. She’d pull a long face and ignore whoever injured her pride. She didn’t discuss work with them and vented her anger through it, delaying progress on it. The leader fellowshipped with her, but she didn’t self-reflect or learn anything about herself. That other sister had some problems, but Ding Rui’s problems were worse. I wanted to point out her issues, but then I wondered, “If I bring it up, not sparing any words, would she say I was treating her unfairly? Then wouldn’t I lose the good impression she had of me?” So I went along with her, saying, “The sister you partnered with also had some problems in some areas.”

Ding Rui’s duty was changed later on, and she took on different work. I got a different partner. As soon as she saw me, she said, “When I heard I was going to work with you, it felt like a lot of pressure. I’ve heard you have good humanity and work well with everyone. If our partnership is rocky, I’ll be totally revealed. It’ll definitely be a problem with my humanity.” When she said that, rather than self-reflecting, I just patted myself on the back. I felt like I really did have good humanity. And once, a sister that partnered with Ding Rui saw me and said, “She and I don’t work well together, but she always says how well the two of you worked together. I guess I’m really corrupt.” I was thinking that Ding Rui’s pride couldn’t take it because that sister was too blunt, too direct about Ding Rui’s problems. While interacting with Ding Rui, I was tolerant and patient about her issues and didn’t argue with her. I proactively discussed any work issues with her and sought out her suggestions a lot. That prevented any conflict. Not long after that, I heard the leader say that Ding Rui was pretty arrogant and didn’t accept truths—she never worked well with others. She was dismissed because she didn’t change after fellowship and was ineffective in her duty. The leader brought up my problems later on, saying, “As a leader, no matter how serious a brother’s or sister’s problem is, if you never bring it up or prune and expose them, but always coddle your relationships, that’s irresponsible in your work! That’s how you were with Ding Rui. She can’t work well with anyone else, but she’s happy to work with you, saying you’re considerate and understanding. You should reflect on this!” Then another leader said, “Everyone’s assessments of you lately have been positive, saying you’re understanding and pleasant. Everyone has a place for you in their heart and they don’t seek truths in things. That’s an issue with you. Working in this way, you’re not exalting God and bearing witness to Him.” I had a hard time taking it at first, was brought to tears, feeling wronged, and made excuses in my heart. The others having good things to say about me meant I had good humanity and was easy to get along with. How could they say that I had a problem? Then my partnered sister also reminded me to do some self-reflection, so I finally prayed to God peacefully, asking Him to enlighten me to know myself.

I read two passages of God’s words later which said: “When interacting with the brothers and sisters, you must lay your heart bare to them and confide in them in order for it to benefit you. When performing your duty, it is even more important to lay your heart bare and confide in people; only then will you work well together. … When you interact with others, you must first have them perceive your true heart and sincerity. If, in speaking and working together and making contact with others, someone’s words are perfunctory, grandiloquent, pleasantries, flattery, irresponsible, and imaginary, or if they simply speak to seek the other’s favor, then their words lack all credibility, and they are not sincere in the least. This is their mode of interaction with others, no matter who those others are. Such a person does not have an honest heart. This is not an honest person. Say someone is in a negative state, and they say to you sincerely: ‘Tell me why, exactly, I’m so negative. I just can’t figure it out!’ And suppose you do, in fact, understand their problem in your heart, but you do not tell them, instead saying: ‘It’s nothing. You’re not being negative; I get that way, too.’ These words are a great consolation to that person, but your attitude is not sincere. You are being perfunctory with them; so as to make them feel more comfortable and consoled, you have refrained from speaking honestly with them. You are not helping them in earnest and putting their problem plainly, so that they can leave their negativity behind. You have not done what an honest person should. All for the sake of trying to console them and make sure there is no estrangement or conflict between you, you have been perfunctory with them—and this is not what it is to be an honest person. So, to be an honest person, what should you do when encountering this kind of situation? You need to tell them what you have seen and identified: ‘I will tell you what I have seen and what I have experienced. You decide whether what I say is right or wrong. If it’s wrong, you don’t have to accept it. If it’s right, I hope you will. If I say something that is hard for you to hear and hurts you, I hope you can accept it from God. My intention and purpose is to help you. I see the issue clearly: Because you feel that you have been humiliated, and no one feeds your ego, and you think everyone else looks down on you, that you are being attacked, and that you have never been so wronged, you can’t accept it and become negative. What do you think—is this what’s really going on?’ And, hearing this, they feel it is indeed the case. This is what is actually in your heart, but if you are not an honest person, you will not say it. You will say, ‘I often get negative, too,’ and when the other person hears that everyone gets negative, they think it is normal for them to be negative, and, in the end, they do not leave their negativity behind. If you are an honest person and you help them with an honest attitude and an honest heart, you can help them understand the truth and leave their negativity behind(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). “There are many so-called ‘good people’ in the world who speak high-minded words—although on the surface, they do not seem to have committed any great evil, they are actually especially deceitful and slippery. They are very good at steering wherever the wind blows, speaking smoothly and slickly. They are false good people and hypocrites—they are merely pretending to be good. Those who walk the middle path are the most insidious people of all. They offend no one, they are smooth and slick, they are good at playing along in all situations, and no one can see their faults. They are like living Satans!(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Practicing the Truth Can One Cast Off the Shackles of a Corrupt Disposition). From God’s words I learned that if I only say supportive, flattering things in my interactions with others, and don’t point out issues I see, that’s not truly helping them and won’t benefit them at all. God says that’s sticking to the middle ground, being a cunning people pleaser. That’s going whichever way the wind blows, gratifying everyone, and offending no one. It’s being a living Satan. Reflecting on my own behavior, I saw I was exactly the sort of person that God exposed. When Ding Rui didn’t resolve that report letter and the work had to be redone, I knew it was because she was looking for a quick return. I should have pointed out her issue and helped her self-reflect. But I was afraid she’d say I was inconsiderate and lacked humanity. So I said some encouraging words, and even talked about my failures to console her. After I said all that, she wasn’t upset anymore and didn’t reflect much on her corrupt disposition. It’s okay to integrate personal experiences into fellowship to help others, but one should primarily use one’s failures and self-knowledge to guide others to reflect and learn about themselves. But that wasn’t what I was trying to achieve by sharing my personal failures. My aim was to comfort Ding Rui so that she felt like everyone was equally corrupt and mistakes were totally normal. That subtly allowed her to over-accommodate herself. It wasn’t bearing witness to God, but was misleading her. Seeing that Ding Rui couldn’t work well with others and was always nitpicking, I didn’t point it out to her and even agreed with her about another sister’s problems so I could protect my good image. And when I saw her being bratty, I just let her get away with it. As a result, she didn’t see her own problems and indulged herself by living within her corrupt disposition. Wasn’t that harming her?

I read another passage of God’s words later that said: “There must be a standard for having good humanity. It does not involve taking the path of moderation, not sticking to principles, endeavoring not to offend anyone, currying favor everywhere you go, being smooth and slick with everyone you meet, and making everyone speak well of you. This is not the standard. So, what is the standard? It is being able to submit to God and the truth. It is approaching one’s duty and all manner of people, events, and things with principles and a sense of responsibility. This is plain for all to see; everyone is clear about this in their heart. Moreover, God scrutinizes people’s hearts and knows their situation, each and every one; no matter who they are, no one can fool God. Some people always boast that they possess good humanity, that they never speak ill of others, never harm anyone else’s interests, and they claim never to have coveted other people’s property. When there is a dispute over interests, they even prefer to suffer loss than take advantage of others, and everyone else thinks they are good people. However, when performing their duties in God’s house, they are wily and slippery, always scheming for themselves. Never do they think of the interests of God’s house, never do they treat as urgent the things God treats as urgent or think as God thinks, and never can they set aside their own interests so as to perform their duties. They never forsake their own interests. Even when they see evil people committing evil, they do not expose them; they have no principles whatsoever. What kind of humanity is this? It is not good humanity(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Giving One’s Heart to God, One Can Obtain the Truth). A truly good person can accept the truth and submit to God, they’re responsible and have a burden in their duty, they uphold principles and protect the church’s work. They’re also principled toward others. Seeing a brother’s or sister’s issues or faults, they can offer the appropriate fellowship and help. If someone violates principles and seriously disrupts and disturbs the church’s work, they can prune and expose them as they should, and don’t act out of feelings and fear of offending them, but can uphold principles and protect church work. That’s truly having a good humanity. I used to think that not pruning someone for their mistakes, exposing their shortcomings, or embarrassing them was being an understanding person with good humanity. For years, no matter who I interacted with, I always chose my words to be comforting and nice. I was always considering how to make others feel I was reasonable and understanding, pandering to their mood, saying heartwarming things. I didn’t directly point out others’ issues I saw in their duties, and even said pleasant, consoling things to fool them, or put it really gently. Everyone praised me for having good humanity and being easy to get along with. I saw myself as a good person and was proud of that. I realized through the exposure of God’s words that for years, the ways that I thought I was being a good person were actually Satan’s philosophies for worldly dealings. I seemed to have good humanity—I was accommodating and didn’t offend anyone. I stayed on good terms with everyone, but in my heart, I only considered my own interests. I was totally irresponsible toward my work and others’ life entry. I wasn’t remotely a good person. I was selfish, vile, and a deceitful people-pleaser, a false nice guy. Thinking about how I used to boast about having good humanity and considered myself a good person, I was really too shameless. When I realized this, I said a prayer, “God, Your words have shown me what truly good humanity is. I want to put the truth into practice and be someone with a good humanity.”

Next, the church partnered me with Chen Lin and Li Yue to water new believers. Before long I discovered that Li Yue was perfunctory and irresponsible in her duty. She was often busy with personal matters, holding up work. Chen Lin and I fellowshipped with her, having her prioritize things so church work wouldn’t be delayed. To my surprise, she didn’t accept it, but made excuses and lost her temper. Chen Lin integrated God’s words into her fellowship and dissection of her issue, but Li Yue didn’t have any self-awareness. She said she lacked stature and couldn’t put the truth into practice. Seeing her act like that, I thought that if I kept on dissecting her problem, she’d definitely say I was demanding, that I didn’t have a good humanity and was holding her back. I felt I shouldn’t expose her so that we’d keep getting along well. So, I politely reassured her, “Your stature is small, and we can understand. Just don’t hold up work in the future.” When I said that, Li Yue’s furrowed brows relaxed and she wasn’t as upset anymore. She became really friendly toward me after that. I was very happy and felt that I did have a good approach for fellowship. Though I pointed out her problem, she still thought well of me. Later on, Li Yue still lacked a burden in her duty, and she even became biased against Chen Lin, saying she was too demanding. Chen Lin pointed out my issue, saying, “Do you know what the nature of your fellowship with Li Yue the other day was? We fellowshipped with her to help her know herself, self-reflect and repent. But what you wrapped up with not only didn’t help her reflect, but also made her think you’re understanding while I’m too demanding of her. Doing that has a disruptive, undermining nature and it didn’t help her at all.” Chen Lin’s words were gutting for me. In my pain, I prayed to God, “God! Faced with pruning, I didn’t realize the seriousness of this issue. But I know that everything I encounter every day is permitted by You. Please enlighten and guide me to know myself.”

I read a passage of God’s words after that. Almighty God says: “The first technique that antichrists use to control people is winning over their hearts. How many ways are there to win over people’s hearts? One way is to draw them in with small favors. Sometimes antichrists give people some nice things, sometimes they compliment them, sometimes they make little promises to them. And sometimes, antichrists see that some duties can enable people to step into the limelight, or that others think these duties can bring advantages to whoever does them and make everyone esteem them, and they assign these duties to those they want to win over. … Some people are overly sentimental, and they are always constrained by their feelings when doing their duty, and their leader says, ‘This is due to your small stature, it’s fine.’ Some people are lazy and disloyal in their duty, but their leader does not rebuke them, instead they say nice-sounding things that those people want to hear at every turn in order to please them and be called good by them, and to show them how understanding and loving they are. Those people think, ‘Our leader is like a loving mother. They truly have love for us—they really do represent God. They really are from God!’ The unspoken implication in this is that their leader can act as God’s mouthpiece, that they can represent God. Is this the goal of this leader? Perhaps it is not that clear, but one of their goals is obvious: They would have people say that they are a wonderful leader, considerate of others, sympathetic to people’s weaknesses, and very understanding of their hearts. When a church leader sees brothers or sisters doing their duties perfunctorily, they may not rebuke them, though they should. When they clearly see that the interests of God’s house are suffering, they do not concern themselves with this or make any inquiries, and they do not cause the least offense to others. In fact, they are not really showing consideration for people’s weaknesses; instead, their intention and goal is to win over people’s hearts. They are fully aware that: ‘As long as I do this and don’t cause offense to anyone, they’ll think I’m a good leader. They’ll have a good, high opinion of me. They’ll approve of me and like me.’ They don’t care how much damage is done to the interests of God’s house, or how great losses are caused to the life entry of God’s chosen people, or how greatly their church life is disturbed, they just persist in their satanic philosophy and cause no offense to anyone. There is never any self-reproach in their hearts. When they see someone causing disruptions and disturbances, at the very most they might have a few words with them about it, downplaying the issue, and then be done with it. They will not fellowship on the truth, or point out the essence of the problem to that person, less still will they dissect their state, and they will never fellowship what God’s intentions are. A false leader never exposes or dissects the errors people frequently make, or the corrupt dispositions people often reveal. They don’t solve any real problems, but instead always indulge people’s erroneous practices and revelations of corruption, and no matter how negative or weak people are, they do not take this seriously. They merely preach some words and doctrines and speak a few words of exhortation to deal with the situation in a perfunctory manner, trying to maintain harmony. As a result, God’s chosen people do not know how to reflect on and know themselves, there is no resolution for whatever corrupt dispositions they reveal, and they live amid words and doctrines, notions and imaginings, without any life entry. They even believe in their hearts, ‘Our leader has even more understanding for our weaknesses than God does. Our stature is too small to live up to God’s requirements. We just need to fulfill the requirements of our leader; by submitting to our leader, we are submitting to God. If a day comes when the Above dismisses our leader, we will make ourselves heard; to keep our leader and stop them from being dismissed, we will negotiate with the Above and force them into agreeing to our demands. This is how we will do right by our leader.’ When people have such thoughts in their hearts, when they have established such a relationship with their leader, and this kind of dependence, envy, and worship has arisen in their hearts toward their leader, they come to have ever greater faith in this leader, and always want to listen to the leader’s words, rather than seeking the truth in God’s words. Such a leader has almost taken the place of God in people’s hearts. If a leader is willing to maintain such a relationship with God’s chosen people, if they derive a feeling of enjoyment from this in their heart, and believe that God’s chosen people ought to treat them like this, then there is no difference between this leader and Paul, they have already set foot on the path of an antichrist, and God’s chosen people have already been misled by this antichrist, and are completely lacking in discernment(The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item One: They Try to Win Over People’s Hearts). God exposes antichrists as incredibly despicable and wicked. To strengthen their place in others’ hearts, they never offend people. If they notice someone violating principles, they don’t fellowship on the truth to resolve the problem or expose and put a stop to it. Instead, they say nice things to win over others’ support, so that others like them, think they’re loving, understanding, and forgiving while resisting and disliking God’s words and requirements, and not practicing or entering into them. Antichrists bring others before themselves. I reflected on how the nature of my actions was just like an antichrist’. I clearly saw mistakes in brothers’ and sisters’ duties, even some that were serious and had already impacted the work, so I should have pointed them out. Then they could see the problem’s essence and its serious consequences, and repent quickly. But I was afraid exposing people’s problems would offend them, so I pandered to their flesh, saying some nice-sounding things to win their support. When fellowshipping and exposing Li Yue’s issue, I didn’t collaborate with Chen Lin to guide Li Yue to know herself, but was afraid that she’d be biased against me if I spoke sternly, so I went with her feelings, being nice. That made me look more loving than Chen Lin, able to forgive and tolerate her weaknesses, making Li Yue unable to recognize her own problems and resistant to Chen Lin. That’s how I was with Ding Rui, too. I saw her issue, but instead of fellowshipping and helping, guiding her to reflect and see her problem, I always indulged her. I wasn’t exalting or bearing witness to God in my duty that way, and I wasn’t fulfilling my responsibilities. I was a leader, but when I saw brothers and sisters violating principles by acting based on their corrupt dispositions, I didn’t fellowship the truth to resolve the issue, but pandered to their flesh, saying some comforting things to fool them. I indulged them living in corrupt dispositions, accommodating and sparing themselves. The nature of what I did was to keep others from entering into the truth reality. They didn’t know the truth or have an understanding of God, and were resistant to and disliked God’s demands. But they all thought I was great, saying that I was forgiving and understanding, and they were growing closer to me. Wasn’t that misleading people? I saw that by living by satanic philosophies and being a nice guy, I was doing nothing but evil. It looked like I was treating others well, but in fact I was harming brothers and sisters, and delaying church work. I was too hypocritical! I used an underhanded tactic to win the others’ admiration and worship. I was on the path of an antichrist! Over those years, I’d given up my family and job to do duties. I’d suffered quite a bit, and worked a lot, too. I never imagined that I’d end up on the path of an antichrist. Fear gripped my heart. I felt even more nauseated and disgusted by myself. In tears, I prayed, “Oh God! I’ve been chasing status and protecting my relationships to win others’ support. This disposition of mine is so disgusting to You, and if I’m punished, that will be Your righteousness. God, I’m willing to repent.”

A little while later, Li Yue was still muddling through her duty, not accomplishing anything, and she still hadn’t changed after fellowship. We told our leader about her issues. A few days later, the leader attended our gathering and fellowshipped on Li Yue’s issues to help her. But Li Yue still didn’t know herself at all. The leader asked me and Chen Lin to state our positions: Considering the situation, should Li Yue be dismissed? This question took me a bit by surprise. I was thinking that Li Yue was sitting right there, how could I say anything? If I spoke the truth and she was dismissed, then she might hate me. I felt like I shouldn’t speak up. At that moment, I felt a strong pang of guilt. I realized that once again I was thinking of protecting my place in others’ hearts. I said a silent prayer to God in my heart, “God, I’m thinking about living by satanic philosophies, protecting my image, acting like a people pleaser again. Please guide me to speak the truth and rebel against my incorrect motives.” I remembered a passage of God’s words after praying. God says: “If your heart is increasingly honest, and increasingly oriented toward God, and if you know to protect the interests of God’s house when you perform your duty, and your conscience is troubled when you fail to protect these interests, then this is proof that the truth has had an effect in you, and has become your life. Once the truth has become life in you, when you observe someone who is blasphemous toward God, unfearful of God, and perfunctory while performing their duty, or who disrupts and disturbs church work, you will respond according to the truth principles, and will be able to identify and expose them as necessary(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words showed me that when things crop up, we have to stand on the side of God and uphold church work. When we see others violating principles, disrupting church work, we can’t shield them, but should follow the truth principles. This is the true human likeness that God asks us to live out. Based on Li Yue’s behavior, she wasn’t suited to continue doing that work at that time. I couldn’t fear offending her, but I had to uphold church work, be an honest person and clarify my position. And so, I explained my perspective. After weighing everything, the leader dismissed Li Yue.

After that, I was paired up to do a duty with Sister Wang Jia. In our interactions, I noticed that sometimes she delayed church work for personal matters. I fellowshipped with her that work had to come first. Before long, I heard our leader say that she was going to promote Wang Jia to manage an item of work. My thought was that Wang Jia had caliber and was capable, so she’d be okay being in charge of work. But when her personal matters conflicted with work, sometimes she didn’t prioritize her duty. If she didn’t become aware of that problem, would work be delayed with her in charge? As her partner, I had a responsibility to go fellowship and point it out to her. But I hesitated when it got to the tip of my tongue. I had already fellowshipped with her on that kind of issue. If I brought it up again, would she say I wouldn’t let go of the issue, but was exposing her flaws nonstop? I realized I was in the wrong state again, so I silently prayed. I thought of a passage of God’s words I’d read before that said: “God demands that people tell the truth, say what they think, and not trick, mislead, make fun of, satirize, deride, mock, or constrict others, or expose their weaknesses, or hurt them. Are these not the principles of speech? What does it mean to say one should not expose people’s weaknesses? It means not to get dirt on other people. Do not hold on to their past mistakes or shortcomings in order to judge or condemn them. This is the least you should do. On the proactive side, how is constructive speech expressed? It is mainly encouraging, orienting, guiding, exhorting, understanding, and comforting. Also, in some special instances, it becomes necessary to directly expose other people’s errors and prune them, so that they gain knowledge of the truth and desire to repent. Only then is the due effect achieved. This way of practicing is of great benefit to people. It is a real help to them, and it is constructive for them, is it not? … And what, in sum, is the principle behind speaking? It is this: Say what’s in your heart, and speak of your true experiences and what you really think. These words are the most beneficial to people, they provide for people, they help them, they are positive. Refuse to say those fake words, those words that do not benefit or edify people; this will avoid harming them or tripping them up, plunging them into negativity, and having a negative effect. You must say positive things. You must strive to help people as much as you can, to benefit them, to provide to them, to produce in them true faith in God; and you must allow people to be helped, and to gain much, from your experiences of God’s words and the way you solve problems, and to be able to understand the path of experiencing the work of God and entering the truth reality, allowing them to have life entry and making their life grow—which is all the effect of your words having principles, and being edifying to people(The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (3)). I found a path of practice from God’s words. In my interactions, I have to tell the truth so people can benefit and be edified. I can’t taunt them, be sarcastic, or mock them. I also understood that when God says not to expose people’s weaknesses, it’s about not holding on to their mistakes or shortcomings, and judging and condemning them. Pointing out and exposing their issues so they can learn a lesson isn’t exposing weaknesses, but is loving help. Wang Jia didn’t know herself, and pointing out her issue was reminding and helping her. Even if she didn’t accept it right away and thought poorly of me, I should handle it appropriately. As long as she was a pursuer of the truth, she would later seek the truth, know herself, and change. Understanding this, I fellowshipped with Wang Jia on her problem. Later on, Wang Jia said in an essay she wrote, “If the sister I was partnered with hadn’t exposed and dissected my issue, I wouldn’t have self-reflected or seen the seriousness of my problem, much less repented and changed.” Seeing that Wang Jia had gained that understanding, I thanked God in my heart. It was God’s words that helped me see the true face of my nice-guy act and change my mistaken perspective on pursuit. Thank God for His salvation!

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