40. Why I Blindly Put My Faith in Other People
In 2021, I was responsible for the watering work of three churches. Two watering group leaders in one church, Li Can and Zhang Xuan, used to work with me. At that time, I felt that Li Can was capable and burdened in her duty. She would point out and help me correct any deviations in my duty in a timely manner. With her supervision and reminders, some work was not delayed. Zhang Xuan was also burdened and would help me with a loving heart when I was in a poor state. I was quite happy to work with them, thinking that their working abilities, calibers, and attitudes toward their duties were quite good. With the two of them here taking charge, I didn’t have to worry much about the watering work of this church and could focus on the work of the other two churches. Later, from their letters, I saw that their work results were better than those of other churches. I further confirmed their working abilities, so I rarely got involved in their work.
Once, my leader sent a letter asking me to participate practically in the watering work and to immediately adjust any unsuitable personnel that I discovered, to avoid delays to the work. Upon receiving the letter, I quickly went to the other two churches to see how the work was going. I found a watering group leader who couldn’t do real work and promptly made adjustments. When I was about to visit the church which Li Can was in charge of, I thought, “Whether in terms of their working abilities, sense of burden, or caliber, she and Zhang Xuan are fine in all regards. With the two of them there, there definitely won’t be any problems with the work.” Therefore, I did not check their work. Another time, I gathered the watering group leaders from several churches because I wanted to learn in detail about the deviations in their work, so as to discover problems and solve them in a timely manner. However, at that time, I mainly inquired about the work of the other group leaders, asking them how they usually held gatherings for new believers and what words of God they used to fellowship and solve new believers’ questions, and so on. Through detailed questioning, I found some problems and fellowshipped about them, and they reversed them then and there. When it came to Li Can and Zhang Xuan, I thought their sense of burden and working abilities in performing their duties were fine, so I didn’t inquire in detail about their work. Later, my leader asked me to provide a relatively good waterer, so I recommended Li Can. However, after looking into the situation, the leader found that Li Can’s watering results were not good and asked me how I could have provided a person like her. I thought, “Could it be that the leader’s requirements are too high? According to my understanding of Li Can, even if she can’t be promoted, she is still more than capable of watering new believers in the church.” Later, the leader told me, “Li Can and Zhang Xuan are lazy, slippery, and seek comfort when doing their duties. We have already fellowshipped about this with them; let’s see how they perform in the future.” Hearing this, I not only didn’t take it seriously but also thought, “Who doesn’t have moments of considering their flesh? As long as they do their current work well, isn’t that good enough?” After that, I still didn’t follow up or supervise their work.
After a while, the leader sent a letter saying that there were many problems with the watering work in the church Li Can was in charge of and asked me to resolve them as soon as possible. When I saw the letter, I thought, “Li Can has believed in God for many years and has served as a leader. I know her working ability and caliber. Could the situation really be that bad? Has the leader made a mistake? But since the leader said so, there must have been a reason. I need to look into the situation practically.” It was only through learning about the situation that I found that neither Li Can nor Zhang Xuan was doing real work. They had not cultivated talented individuals in the church that should have been cultivated, and what new believers ate and drank at gatherings was not the most basic truths regarding knowing God’s work. There were also some new believers who had become negative after listening to the CCP’s rumors, and Li Can and Zhang Xuan had surprisingly arranged an irresponsible person to support them. The problems of new believers had not been solved, and Li Can and Zhang Xuan hadn’t found ways to fellowship with the new believers and help them further. Some new believers had almost pulled away. In the end, the new believers had only reversed their states by reading God’s words themselves. Though there were many deviations and loopholes in the watering work, Li Can and Zhang Xuan did not reflect on themselves, and they even tried to blame others. Learning about these things, I was shocked, “How did things turn out like this? According to my understanding of them, they bore a burden in doing their duties before. How did things turn out this way now?” But the facts were laid out right in front of my eyes; I had to accept this. At the same time, I felt very guilty. If I had supervised and looked into their work earlier, so many problems wouldn’t have arisen in the watering work. I had an unshirkable responsibility for this.
Later, I saw a passage from God’s words. Almighty God says: “False leaders never inquire about supervisors who are not doing actual work, or who are not tending to their proper work. They think they just need to choose a supervisor and that’s the end of the matter, and that afterward the supervisor can handle all work matters themselves. So false leaders just hold gatherings every so often, and do not supervise the work or ask how it’s going, and act like hands-off bosses. If someone reports a problem with a supervisor, a false leader will say, ‘It’s just a minor problem, it’s fine. You can handle it yourselves. Don’t ask me.’ The person who reported the issue says, ‘That supervisor is a lazy glutton. They only focus on food and entertainment, and they are bone idle. They don’t want to suffer even a little bit of hardship in their duty, and they always slack off deceitfully and make up excuses to avoid their work and shirk their responsibilities. They aren’t suited to be a supervisor.’ The false leader will answer, ‘They were great when they were selected as supervisor. What you’re saying isn’t true, or even if it is, it’s just a temporary manifestation.’ The false leader won’t try and find out more about the supervisor’s situation, instead they will judge and pass a verdict on the matter based on their past impressions of that supervisor. Regardless of who reports problems with the supervisor, the false leader will ignore them. The supervisor isn’t doing actual work, and the work of the church has nearly come to a standstill, but the false leader doesn’t care, it’s like they’re not even involved. It’s nauseating enough that when someone reports the supervisor’s issues, they turn a blind eye. But what is most detestable of all? When people report really serious issues with the supervisor to them, they won’t try and sort these out, and they’ll even come out with all sorts of excuses: ‘I know this supervisor, they truly believe in God, they would never have any problems. Even if they did have a small issue, God would protect them and discipline them. If they make any mistakes, that is between them and God—we need not concern ourselves with it.’ False leaders work according to their own notions and imaginings in this way. They pretend to understand the truth and have faith, but they just make a mess of church work—the church work may even come to a standstill and they’ll still feign ignorance of this. Aren’t false leaders acting too much like paper pushers? They are incapable of doing real work themselves, and they aren’t meticulous regarding the work of team leaders and supervisors either—they do not follow up on it or inquire about it. Their view of people is only based on their own impressions and imaginings. When they see someone performing well for a time, they think that this person will be good forever, that they will not change; they do not believe anyone who says there is a problem with this person, and they ignore it when someone warns them about that person. Do you think false leaders are stupid? They are stupid and foolish. … false leaders have a fatal flaw: They are quick to trust people based on their own imaginings. And this is caused by not understanding the truth, is it not? How does God’s word reveal the essence of corrupt humankind? Why should they trust in people when God doesn’t? False leaders are too arrogant and self-righteous, are they not? What they think is, ‘I couldn’t have misjudged this person, there shouldn’t be any problems with this person that I’ve judged to be suitable; they are definitely not someone who indulges in eating, drinking and entertainment, or who likes comfort and hates hard work. They are absolutely dependable and trustworthy. They will not change; if they did, that would mean I was wrong about them, wouldn’t it?’ What kind of logic is this? Are they some kind of expert? Do they have x-ray vision? Do they have that special skill? You could live with a person for one or two years, but would you be able to see who they really are without a suitable environment to lay their nature essence utterly bare? If they were not revealed by God, you could live side-by-side with them for three, or even five, years, and would still struggle to see just what kind of nature essence they have. And how much more is that true when you rarely see them, are rarely with them? False leaders blithely trust a person based on a fleeting impression or someone else’s positive appraisal of them, and dare to entrust the work of the church to such a person. In this, are they not being extremely blind? Are they not acting recklessly? And when they work like this, are the false leaders not being extremely irresponsible?” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (3)). God was exposing my state precisely; I was so irresponsible toward my duty. I had worked with Li Can and Zhang Xuan before, and because they had some working abilities, and got some results in doing their duties, I had easily put my faith in them. After completely handing the work over to them, I hadn’t even supervised or asked about it. When the leader asked me to check whether the watering group leaders were doing real work, I hadn’t checked their work because I had faith in them. Even when I gathered with them, I hadn’t inquired about their work in detail. Later, when the leader said that they were craving comfort in their duties and not doing real work, I had felt a bit resistant in my heart, thinking that they were not like that, and that the leader didn’t know them well. I had even argued on their behalf in my heart. Reflecting on it, I had only interacted with them for a few months. On the surface, they appeared to have some working abilities and to have some sense of burden in doing their duties, but I didn’t understand their humanity and nature essence at all. I had put my faith in them based on temporary impressions and good feelings, and then felt at ease handing the work over to them without supervision. God exposed that people have been deeply corrupted by Satan, so all of their corrupt dispositions haven’t been resolved, all of them can be perfunctory, irresponsible, and go their own way before they are made perfect. I hadn’t been viewing things based on God’s words, instead I had relied on my notions and imaginings, and solidified their good side in my mind based on their temporary good performances. Even when the leader pointed out their problems, I had not been convinced, thinking the leader’s requirements for them were too high. Living by Satan’s disposition, I especially trusted myself and held to my own viewpoint to see things, thinking what I saw as good was indisputable, not accepting whatever others explained, which ended up delaying the work. I was really too arrogant and conceited!
Later, I saw another passage of God’s words: “Although, today, many people do a duty, there are only a few who pursue the truth. Very few people pursue the truth and enter reality as they do their duty; for most, there are still no principles to the way they do things, they are still not people who truly submit to God; they merely claim that they love the truth, and are willing to pursue the truth, and are willing to strive for the truth, yet it is still unknown how long their resolve will last. People who do not pursue the truth are liable to reveal their corrupt dispositions at any time or place. They are devoid of any sense of responsibility toward their duty, they are often perfunctory, they act as they wish, and are even incapable of accepting pruning. As soon as they become negative and weak, they are liable to abandon their duty—this happens often, nothing is more common; such is the way all who do not pursue the truth behave. And so, when people have yet to gain the truth, they are unreliable and untrustworthy. What does it mean that they are untrustworthy? It means that when they encounter difficulties or setbacks, they are likely to fall down, and to become negative and weak. Is someone who is often negative and weak someone who is trustworthy? Definitely not. But people who understand the truth are different. People who truly understand the truth are bound to have a God-fearing heart, and a heart of submission to God, and only people with a God-fearing heart are trustworthy people; people without a God-fearing heart are not trustworthy. How should people without a God-fearing heart be approached? They should, of course, be given loving assistance and support. They should be followed up on more as they do their duty, and given more help and instruction; only then can they be guaranteed to do their duty effectively. And what is the aim of doing this? The chief aim is to uphold the work of God’s house. Secondary to this is in order to promptly identify problems, to promptly provide to them, support them, or prune them, setting right their deviations, and making up for their shortcomings and deficiencies. This is beneficial to people; there is nothing malicious about it. Supervising people, observing them, trying to understand them—this is all in order to help them enter the right track of faith in God, to enable them to do their duty as God asks and according to principle, to stop them from causing any disturbances or disruptions, and to stop them from doing futile work. The aim of doing this is entirely about showing responsibility toward them and toward the work of God’s house; there is no malice to it” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (7)). From God’s words, I understood that although we did our duties in the church and were willing to do them well, this was only a good intention. Because we all had corrupt dispositions, we couldn’t absolutely submit to God and lacked principles in our actions. This led to deviations in our work, and we were often perfunctory and irresponsible. Therefore, it was necessary for leaders and workers to supervise the work to promptly discover and fix problems. Li Can and Zhang Xuan were also corrupt people. Although they were burdensome in doing their duties before, it didn’t mean they would always be like that. Additionally, their good calibers and working abilities didn’t mean they had gained the truth principles in handling matters, and were completely reliable. This required supervision and follow-up on their work. I couldn’t see through the corrupt essence of people and viewed people and things based on my own notions and imaginings, easily believing in them and handing over the work without supervision. I was truly foolish. If I hadn’t blindly believed in them and had regularly supervised and checked their work according to the requirements of God’s house, fulfilling my own responsibilities, the watering work would not have been so ineffective for several months. The more I thought about it, the more I blamed myself.
I pondered on it more: Why did I trust Li Can and Zhang Xuan so much without supervising or checking on their duties? Even when the leader reminded me, I didn’t take it to heart. What corrupt disposition was controlling me behind this? In my reflection, I saw a passage of God’s words: “If, in your heart, you truly understand the truth, then you will know how to practice the truth and submit to God, and will naturally embark on the path of pursuing the truth. If the path you walk is the right one, and in line with God’s intentions, then the work of the Holy Spirit will not leave you—in which case there will be less and less chance of you betraying God. Without the truth, it is easy to do evil, and you will do it despite yourself. For example, if you have an arrogant and conceited disposition, then being told not to oppose God makes no difference, you can’t help yourself, it is beyond your control. You would not do it on purpose; you would do it under the domination of your arrogant and conceited nature. Your arrogance and conceit would make you look down on God and see Him as being of no account; they would cause you to exalt yourself, constantly put yourself on display; they would make you scorn others, they would leave no one in your heart but yourself; they would rob you of God’s place in your heart, and ultimately cause you to sit in the place of God and demand that people submit to you, and make you venerate your own thoughts, ideas, and notions as the truth. So much evil is done by people under the dominance of their arrogant and conceited nature!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Pursuing the Truth Can One Achieve a Change in Disposition). Reflecting on God’s words, I found the cause of my failure: It mainly came from my arrogant disposition and over-reliance on myself. I believed that they were serious and responsible in doing their duties, being burdensome, and wouldn’t be perfunctory. So, I trusted myself completely, always thinking “in my opinion,” “I believe,” “I feel,” and thought my evaluation of people was accurate and couldn’t be wrong. After handing over the work to them, I didn’t even bother to supervise or inquire about them. Even when the leader explicitly pointed out their problems, I didn’t take it seriously, thinking they were just revealing some corruption, not a big deal. My failure was due to my overconfidence in myself. I used my own viewpoints as the standards for measuring people. No matter what others said, I wouldn’t accept it. I believed my evaluation of people was accurate, I knew them well, and was qualified to evaluate them. I disagreed with and rejected any views others held that were different from mine. I never considered whether my thoughts and views might be wrong, biased, or could do harm to the work. I was truly arrogant and unreasonable! Relying on my arrogant disposition to do my duties, I didn’t take others’ suggestions seriously, much less seek the truth principles. I was really arrogant and dismissive of others, with no place for God in my heart. I thought that the people I trusted and the things I decided were certainly right according to my own notions and imaginings, stubbornly clinging to my own viewpoints and neglecting my duties, leading to significant losses to the work. This way, was I performing my duty at all? I was opposing God, doing evil. Realizing the severity of the nature and consequence, I quickly came before God to pray and repent.
Later, I saw a passage of God’s words that gave me a path to practice. Almighty God says: “No matter what you’re doing, you must learn how to seek and submit to the truth; no matter who is offering you advice, if it accords with the truth principles, then even if it comes from a small child, you must accept it and submit to it. No matter what problems a person has, if their words and advice completely accord with the truth principles, then you should accept them and submit to them. The results of acting in this way will be good and in accordance with God’s intentions. The key is to look at your motives, and the principles and methods by which you handle things. If your principles and methods for handling things stem from human will, from human thoughts and notions, or from satanic philosophies, then those principles and methods are impractical, and they are bound to be ineffective. This is because the source of your principles and methods is incorrect and does not accord with the truth principles. If your views are based upon the truth principles, and you handle things according to the truth principles, then you will undoubtedly handle them in the correct way. Even if some people do not accept the way that you handle things at the time, or they have notions about it, or they are resistant toward it, after some time, it will be validated. Things that are in accordance with the truth principles yield increasingly positive results, while things that are not in accordance with the truth principles lead to increasingly negative consequences, even if they fit with people’s notions at the time. People will all receive confirmation of this” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Path of Resolving a Corrupt Disposition). God’s words made me understand that when encountering some situations, we needed to deny ourselves first, seek the truth, and view matters based on God’s words. We should examine whether our viewpoints and perspectives aligned with God’s intentions and if there were God’s words and the truth principles as their bases. We need to have a seeking heart when receiving reminders and suggestions from brothers and sisters, not holding onto our own viewpoints. We should deal with them according to the principles. Such an attitude means seeking, submission, and rationality before God. Reflecting on my previous approach, I didn’t see things based on the truth principles but held onto my own viewpoints, thinking I knew better than others. When brothers and sisters offered suggestions, I didn’t have a seeking heart and trusted myself excessively. This was the main reason for my failure. To move on, I needed to first learn to deny myself and listen more to the suggestions of brothers and sisters.
Later, I saw another passage of God’s words saying: “Judging from the literal meaning, supervision means inspection: checking which churches have implemented the work arrangements and which have not, the progress of implementation, which leaders and workers are doing real work and which are not, and whether any leaders or workers are merely dispensing the work arrangements without participating in the specific tasks. Supervision is a specific task. Besides supervising the implementation of work arrangements—whether they have been implemented, the speed of implementation, the quality of implementation, and the results achieved—higher-level leaders and workers must check if the leaders and workers are strictly following the work arrangements. Some leaders and workers outwardly say they are willing to follow the work arrangements, but after being faced with a certain environment, they fear being arrested and just focus on hiding, having long since relegated the work arrangements to the back of their minds; the brothers’ and sisters’ problems go unresolved, and they don’t know what the work arrangements specify or what the principles of practice are. This shows that the work arrangements have not been implemented at all. Other leaders and workers have opinions, notions, and resistance to some of the requirements in the work arrangements. When it comes time to implement them, they deviate from the true meaning of the work arrangements, doing things according to their own ideas, going through the motions and glossing over things just to be done with them, or taking their own path, doing things however they feel like. All such situations require supervision by higher-level leaders and workers. The purpose of supervision is to better implement the specific tasks required by the work arrangements without deviation and according to principles. While conducting supervision, higher-level leaders and workers must place great emphasis on identifying if there is anyone who is not doing real work or is irresponsible and slow in implementing the work arrangements; if anyone shows a resistant mood concerning the work arrangements and is unwilling to implement them or implements them selectively, or simply does not follow the work arrangements at all and instead just carries out their own enterprise; if anyone is withholding the work arrangements, and only communicates them according to their own ideas, not letting God’s chosen people know the true meaning and specific requirements of the work arrangements—only by supervising and inspecting these issues can higher-level leaders know what’s really going on. If higher-level leaders do not conduct supervision and inspection, can these problems be identified? (No.) They cannot. Therefore, leaders and workers must not only communicate the work arrangements and provide guidance level by level but also supervise the work level by level when implementing the work arrangements. Regional leaders must supervise the work of district leaders, district leaders must supervise the work of church leaders, and church leaders must supervise the work of each group. Supervision must be carried out level by level. What is the purpose of supervision? It is to facilitate the accurate implementation of the content of the work arrangements according to their specific requirements. Therefore, the task of supervision is very important” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (10)). From God’s words, I saw that to perform the duty adequately, leaders and workers must practically supervise and follow up on every item of work, delve into the details, and know and grasp the progress of the work. They should do the work according to God’s requirements and work arrangements. Any violations of the principles found in the work should be promptly addressed through fellowship. Talented people with potential should be cultivated in time, once discovered. This requires practical inspection, inquiry, supervision, and follow-up, which demonstrates a responsible attitude toward one’s duties. In the past, I relied on my personal imaginings, easily handing over work to those I favored without supervising or following up, nor understanding the actual situation in their work. This approach was really irresponsible, and I didn’t fulfill my duties. In the future, I must practice according to God’s words and practically supervise and follow up on the work I am responsible for.
After Li Can was dismissed, I visited the church she was responsible for and met some new believers who could be cultivated. I held gatherings with them to practically understand their states and difficulties, and offered fellowship to resolve these issues. I also had fellowship with the waterers to address difficulties in their work, correcting deviations in their approaches. I had them focus on fellowshipping the truth about understanding God’s work, so that the new believers could lay a solid foundation on the true way as soon as possible. Later, I realized that the problems in watering new members at this church might also exist in other churches. So, I quickly wrote letters to the leaders of the watering groups in other churches. After writing the letters, I still felt uneasy because written communication is not as effective as face-to-face fellowship. Therefore, I wrote to the leaders, hoping they could supervise and follow up on this work in person. Eventually, the leaders replied that these issues also existed at different levels in their churches, and they would supervise and follow up accordingly. It was then that I truly realized the necessity of God’s requirements for leaders and workers to practically supervise and follow up on the work.
Through this experience, I’ve gained some understanding of my own arrogant disposition and also realized how important it is “to view people and things, and to comport oneself and act, wholly according to God’s words, with the truth as one’s criterion” as God says. From now on, I must not act based on my own imaginings. When facing matters, I must first seek the truth and treat people, events, and things around me according to God’s words.