64. A False Leader’s Awakening

By Yang Fan, China

In 2019, I was elected as a church leader, and I swore to myself that I would do my duty well. After starting my new position, I was busy every day with gatherings, resolving my brothers and sisters’ difficulties and problems in their duties, and following up on our work’s progress. All of this made me feel very fulfilled. After a while, because I had to handle some general affairs work, my workload greatly increased. I worked late every day, and felt like I could barely keep up. I thought to myself, “Being in charge of the overall work is having me worry about many things, and it’s much more tiring. Every day my mind feels like a clock spring getting wound up. It’s not as easy as having just single-faceted duty.” Later, I went to a group gathering that Sister Zhao Jing was supervising. I thought, “In the past, when I was partnered with Zhao Jing, she was so responsible in her duties, and actively sought the truth to resolve any difficulties she faced. She supervises the work in this group, so I don’t need to worry too much.” After that, I rarely went to gatherings with their group. One evening, some brothers and sisters wrote to point out that the work of Zhao Jing’s group had some deviations and problems and they asked me to quickly resolve the problems. I intended to search for God’s word in advance and seek a solution, but seeing these problems couldn’t be solved in a short time, I thought, “It’s so late, and I’m so tired. I can’t do this right now. Besides, I’ve already written a letter to Zhao Jing about these deviations and problems. She is a responsible person, so I’m sure she’ll take the initiative to fellowship and resolve them, and I won’t have to bother with it myself. If I did everything myself, how would I ever get anything done, anyway? I’ll just fellowship with the group about it at the gathering.” Later, once I looked into it, I saw that Zhao Jing had already fellowshipped with the group, and everyone was able to suggest paths of practice regarding these problems, which made me even more confident that I had nothing to worry about with Zhao Jing in charge. After that, I didn’t ask about the group’s work anymore.

After some time, I went to another gathering with Zhao Jing’s group. I found that she was too indirect in her fellowship on her state, talking for a long time without ever speaking clearly. I thought to myself, “Is she in a bad state? Why is she being so incoherent?” But then I thought, “She might just be nervous because I’m here. She’ll be fine once she sorts herself out a bit. I have some other things to do, so maybe I should just leave and let her get on with the gathering.” And so I left without fellowshipping with her. Later, I found out that the group’s work was ineffective. I thought, “Is there some problem in the group?” But then I reconsidered, “They just fellowshipped about problems and deviations in their duty. I’m sure everyone is just getting back into the swing of things, so it’s normal for their work to be less fruitful right now.” With this in mind, I didn’t think any more about it. Later, Sister Wang Xinrui reported to me that Zhao Jing was obsessed with status, couldn’t cooperate harmoniously with others, and that she wasn’t suited to be a group leader. I thought, “Zhao Jing is a bit too focused on status, but she has a sense of burden toward her duty. If she can’t cooperate harmoniously with others, it must be because she’s in a bad state right now and controlled by her corrupt dispositions. She just needs some time to sort herself out.” Thinking this, I said to Xinrui, “Zhao Jing is responsible in her duty, and she’s still up to the task of being a group leader. If she reveals corruption, we can try to help her more and expose and dissect her issues. I’m busy today, so I don’t have time, but I will fellowship with her later.” When Xinrui heard me say that, she didn’t say anything else. Later, as I became busy with other tasks, I forgot about fellowshipping with Zhao Jing. One night, I suddenly remembered, “Oh no, I forgot about Zhao Jing’s state. Should I go check on her state?” But then I thought, “She has good caliber, and when her state was bad in the past, she could seek the truth and quickly resolve it herself. She should be able to sort herself out this time, too. Plus, she lives so far away. If I go all the way out there, which is tiring, and she’s not at home, wouldn’t I have made the trip for nothing? Forget it, I’ll see to it at the end of the month.” At the end of the month when I went to inspect their work, I was completely dumbstruck. There were so many problems and deviations in Zhao Jing’s work, and her work results had fallen to their lowest. The brothers and sisters she supervised were all in negative states, and their work had been heavily impacted. Only then did I realize just how serious things were. I quickly went to Zhao Jing to fellowship and point out her problems, but she refused to accept it, arguing back, trying to justify herself, and showing no knowledge of herself. After talking about her with my partner, we decided Zhao Jing was no longer suited to be a group leader, and finally dismissed her. After that, the brothers and sisters also reported that Zhao Jing was really jealous, neglected her duties, and engaged in disputes. This had caused one sister to feel constrained by her, become repressed, and want to leave her duty. Wang Xinrui had reported on Zhao Jing’s situation, but she was suppressed and excluded by Zhao Jing. The other sisters also felt constrained by Zhao Jing, and their duties were affected, causing work to be hindered for several months. After Zhao Jing was dismissed, not only did she not repent, she actually retaliated against others. Being exposed didn’t cause her to understand or regret her evil deeds at all. Later, because I failed to do real work, neglected my duty, and didn’t dismiss Zhao Jing in time, causing serious losses to church work, I was also dismissed. This made me absolutely miserable. Only then did I start to ask myself why I had been too blind to recognize Zhao Jing’s chronic jealousy and strife, as well as her serious disruption and disturbance of the church’s work. At the time, I only had a shallow knowledge that I wasn’t doing real work and wasn’t focusing on discerning others, but I never seriously focused on understanding or dissecting my own corrupt dispositions.

In a gathering, I gained some understanding of myself only after reading God’s words exposing the behaviors of false leaders not doing real work. God’s words say: “False leaders never ask about or follow up on the work situations of various team supervisors. They also don’t ask about, follow up on, or have a grasp on the life entry of supervisors of different teams and personnel responsible for various important jobs, as well as their attitudes toward church work and their duties, and toward faith in God, the truth, and God Himself. They don’t know whether these individuals have undergone any transformation or growth, nor do they know about the various issues that may exist in their work; in particular, they do not know about the impact of errors and deviations occurring in various stages of the work on the work of the church and the life entry of God’s chosen people, along with whether these errors and deviations have ever been corrected. They are entirely ignorant about all of these things. If they know nothing about these detailed conditions, they become passive whenever problems arise. However, false leaders don’t bother with these detailed issues at all while doing their job. They believe that after arranging various team supervisors and assigning tasks, their work is done—it counts as having done the job well, and if other problems arise it’s none of their concern. Because false leaders fail to supervise, guide, and follow up on various team supervisors, and they do not fulfill their responsibilities in these areas, this results in a mess being made of the church’s work. This is the leaders and workers being derelict in their duties(The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (3)). “Do you think false leaders are stupid? They are stupid and foolish. What makes them stupid? They blithely put their trust in a person, believing that because when this person was chosen, they swore an oath, and made a resolution, and prayed with tears streaming down their face, that means they are dependable, and there will never be any issues with them taking charge of work in the future. False leaders have no understanding of people’s natures; they are ignorant of the true situation of corrupt mankind. They say, ‘How could someone change for the worse when they have been chosen as a supervisor? How could someone who seems so intense and reliable shirk their work? They wouldn’t, would they? They have a lot of integrity.’ Because false leaders have put too much faith in their own imaginings and feelings, this ultimately renders them incapable of timely resolving the many problems that arise in church work, and stops them from promptly dismissing and reassigning the supervisor involved. They are bona fide false leaders. And just what is the issue here? Does false leaders’ approach to their work have anything to do with perfunctoriness? In one respect, they see the great red dragon rabidly carrying out arrests of God’s chosen people, so to keep themselves safe, they randomly arrange for someone to be in charge of work, believing that this will solve the problem, and that they don’t need to pay it any more attention. What do they think in their hearts? ‘This is such a hostile environment, I should hide for a while.’ This is coveting fleshly comforts, is it not? In another respect, false leaders have a fatal flaw: They are quick to trust people based on their own imaginings. And this is caused by not understanding the truth, is it not? How does God’s word reveal the essence of corrupt humankind? Why should they trust in people when God doesn’t? False leaders are too arrogant and self-righteous, are they not? What they think is, ‘I couldn’t have misjudged this person, there shouldn’t be any problems with this person that I’ve judged to be suitable; they are definitely not someone who indulges in eating, drinking and entertainment, or who likes comfort and hates hard work. They are absolutely dependable and trustworthy. They will not change; if they did, that would mean I was wrong about them, wouldn’t it?’ What kind of logic is this? Are they some kind of expert? Do they have x-ray vision? Do they have that special skill? You could live with a person for one or two years, but would you be able to see who they really are without a suitable environment to lay their nature essence utterly bare? If they were not revealed by God, you could live side-by-side with them for three, or even five, years, and would still struggle to see just what kind of nature essence they have. And how much more is that true when you rarely see them, are rarely with them? False leaders blithely trust a person based on a fleeting impression or someone else’s positive appraisal of them, and dare to entrust the work of the church to such a person. In this, are they not being extremely blind? Are they not acting recklessly? And when they work like this, are the false leaders not being extremely irresponsible?(The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (3)).

God exposes that false leaders are lazy, crave comfort, and are completely irresponsible in their duties. Once they put someone in charge, false leaders readily trust them based on their imaginings and notions. They don’t follow up on or supervise work, not wanting to pay the price to check up on it. They cut corners wherever they can, resulting in serious losses to church work. Seeing God expose the various behaviors of false leaders not doing real work, I felt as if God was exposing me to my face. It was very uncomfortable, and I felt guilty. As a leader, I had been very irresponsible toward my duty. To save myself from worry and fleshly suffering, I was slippery and didn’t follow up on work. I only relied on my initial impression of Zhao Jing, thinking she was responsible in her duty and suitable for a group leader, so I started to take a hands-off approach and didn’t supervise her work. When I saw her work wasn’t getting good results and that I would have to suffer and pay a price to solve the issue, I didn’t do real work and instead made excuses to accommodate myself, saying everyone was still adapting and they’d get on the right track soon. When others reported that Zhao Jing had problems and was an unsuitable group leader, I still assumed it was just a temporary revelation of corruption based on my notions and imaginings, and that it wouldn’t impact her duty. I put off resolving Zhao Jing’s problems again and again, until finally the group’s work became paralyzed and the life entry of my brothers and sisters suffered severe losses. I was so stubborn, foolish, and irresponsible. I was a false leader who craved comfort and didn’t do real work! The fact is that the leaders and workers the church elected, including me, have not been perfected; we have many corrupt dispositions, and we can cause disruptions and disturbances in our duties at any time. Even if we appear to behave well, it doesn’t mean we are qualified to be used. We don’t understand the truth, and we only look at people’s appearances without seeing through to their essences, so we need to frequently follow up on and supervise work to be responsible toward the work. I didn’t understand the truth and couldn’t see through to people, but I had blind self-confidence, so I caused great losses to church work as a result, and left transgressions and defilement in my wake. Once I realized this, I felt a deep regret. If I hadn’t been so self-righteous, so lazy, or so greedy for comfort when Xinrui reminded me about Zhao Jing, but instead had actually investigated, discovered and resolved the issue in time, and dismissed Zhao Jing, I wouldn’t have caused such delays to the church’s work. I not only failed to benefit the church’s work in my duty, but I acted as Satan’s lackey and shielded false leaders and workers. The more I thought about it, the more distressed and miserable I felt. I thought about how when God incarnate works, He practically suffers and pays a price. In response to all of our corruption and deficiencies, God tirelessly fellowships the truth, supports and helps us, with all of His painstaking efforts to fully save us from the power of Satan. But I am a created being who didn’t understand the truth, was blind and couldn’t see things clearly, and I didn’t want to really suffer or pay a price in my duties. I didn’t want to resolve problems in good time when I found them, and I caused great losses to the work. Doing my duties like this was truly disgusting and loathsome to God! Once I realized these things, I silently prayed to God, “God, I was wrong. I wish to reflect on myself and repent to You.”

I read a few more passages in which God exposes false leaders: “The work of the church gets held up simply because false leaders are seriously derelict in their duties, do not do real work or follow up on and oversee work, and are unable to fellowship the truth to fix problems. Of course, it is also because these false leaders indulge in the benefits of status, do not pursue the truth at all, and are unwilling to follow up on, supervise, or direct the work of spreading the gospel—with the result that work progresses slowly, and many man-made deviations, absurdities, and reckless wrongdoings fail to be promptly rectified or resolved, which severely impacts the effectiveness of spreading the gospel. It is only when these problems are discovered by the Above and the leaders and workers are told they must fix them that these problems are corrected. Like blind people, these false leaders are unable to discover any problems, and there are no principles at all to the way they do things, and yet they are incapable of realizing their own mistakes, and only admit their errors when they are pruned by the Above. So who can afford to take responsibility for the losses caused by these false leaders? Even with removing them from their positions, how can the losses they caused be made up for? Thus when it is discovered that there are false leaders who are incapable of doing any real work, they should be promptly dismissed. In some churches, the gospel work progresses especially slowly, and this is simply down to false leaders not doing real work, as well as too many instances of dereliction and making mistakes on their part(The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (4)). “In all the different items of work that false leaders do, there are actually numerous issues, deviations, and flaws that they need to resolve, correct, and remedy. However, because these false leaders lack a sense of burden, indulging only in the benefits of their status without doing any real work, they end up making a mess of the work. In some churches, people are not united in their minds, with everyone suspecting, guarding against, and undermining each other, all the while fearing being eliminated by God’s house. Faced with these situations, false leaders do not move to resolve them, failing to do any real, specific work(The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (4)). “By outward appearances, false leaders are not deliberately committing myriad evils, or doing things their own way and establishing their own independent kingdoms, like antichrists do. But false leaders are not able to promptly resolve the various problems that arise in the church’s work, and when problems occur with supervisors of various teams, and when those supervisors are unable to shoulder their work, false leaders are not able to promptly alter their duties or dismiss them, bringing serious losses to the church work. And this is all caused by the false leaders’ dereliction of duty(The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (3)). God exposes the negligence of false leaders: how they don’t actually follow up or check on work, how they don’t supervise and inspect people in charge, and how, many work problems can’t be solved as a result, causing serious losses to the church’s work. Reflecting on my actions, I realized that because I craved comfort, I neglected my duty, was irresponsible, and trusted Zhao Jing based on my own notions and imaginings without supervising or following up on her work. When others reported her problems, I disregarded them, not resolving the real issues or dismissing her in time, which allowed her to engage in long-term jealousy and disputes, disrupt and disturb the group, and play no positive role in her duty. This caused the group’s work to be ineffective for months, and seriously delayed progress. When her brothers and sisters gave her advice, she suppressed, excluded them and made them feel pressured for a long time, causing the group to feel constrained and inattentive in their duties. And yet I knew nothing about this, even always thinking that she was doing well. As a leader, not only did I fail to fulfill my responsibility, but was unable to recognize and solve the numerous problems with church work in a timely manner when they were right there in front of my face. This caused great losses to church work and the life entry of my brothers and sisters. I was seriously derelict in my duties! Although I didn’t deliberately do evil like an antichrist to disrupt and disturb the church’s work, my dereliction of duty still caused serious losses to the work of the church. I hated myself for being so blind, mindless and irresponsible to the point that I transgressed in God’s presence. I felt a deep sense of sadness and guilt, and felt I owed both God and my brothers and sisters.

Later, I reflected on myself. Why was I always considering my flesh, being slippery and irresponsible in my duty? Later, I saw a passage of God’s word that was very helpful to me. God’s words say: “What is Satan’s poison? How can it be expressed? For example, if you ask, ‘How should people live? What should people live for?’ people will answer, ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ This single phrase expresses the very root of the problem. Satan’s philosophy and logic have become people’s lives. No matter what people pursue, they do so for themselves—and so they live only for themselves. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’—this is the life philosophy of man, and it also represents human nature. These words have already become the nature of corrupt mankind and they are the true portrait of corrupt mankind’s satanic nature. This satanic nature has already become the basis for corrupt mankind’s existence. For several thousand years, corrupt mankind has lived by this venom of Satan, right up to the present day. Everything that Satan does is for the sake of its own desires, ambitions, and aims. It wishes to surpass God, to break free of God, and to seize control of all things created by God. Today, such is the extent that people have been corrupted by Satan: They all have satanic natures, they all try to deny and oppose God, and they want to control their own fates and try to oppose the orchestrations and arrangements of God. Their ambitions and desires are exactly the same as Satan’s. Therefore, man’s nature is Satan’s nature(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). I contemplated God’s word and finally realized that I was lazy, irresponsible in my duty, and lacked a conscience and reason, mainly because the satanic rule of existence “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost” was rooted so deeply in me that it became my nature. I always lived by it, only considering my own fleshly interests in everything, becoming increasingly selfish and despicable. When anything made me worry and suffer more or required me to pay more of a price, I used trickery and deceit to avoid it, doing whatever I could to suffer the least. When I saw taking charge of overall work required extra worry and suffering, I wanted to do a single-faceted job, instead. When my workload increased, I wanted to worry less and pay less of a price, which led me to my hands-off approach to Zhao Jing’s work. Later, when I saw her in a bad state, I was lazy and didn’t want to resolve it. Even though Xinrui reminded me that she was unfit to be used, I used being busy with work as an excuse to put off investigating and confirming Zhao Jing’s issue until it became so serious that she had to be dismissed. The church elected me as a leader and gave me a chance to practice, in the hope that I would take responsibility and shoulder my duty. But what did I do? Rather than thinking of how to do my duty well, I did nothing but craved comfort, doing whatever allowed me to worry and suffer the least. I had believed in God for years and enjoyed the watering and provision of so much of God’s word, but when anything was asked of me, I was only concerned with my comfort, not doing real work. I was selfish and despicable, and I disgusted God! I hated my lack of humanity and reason, and that I failed to live up to God’s good intention. I prayed to God, “God, I was concerned for my flesh and didn’t do real work, causing great losses to church work. I wish to repent to You. In the future, no matter what my duty is, I don’t want to consider my flesh and crave comfort anymore. I want to be responsible and do my duty well in a down-to-earth manner.”

Later, I read two more passages of God’s word. Almighty God says: “People with heart are able to be considerate of God’s heart; those without heart are empty shells, fools, they do not know to be considerate of God’s heart. Their mentality is: ‘I don’t care how urgent this is for God, I’ll do it however I please—in any case, I’m not being idle or lazy.’ This kind of attitude, this kind of negativity, the total lack of proactiveness—this is not someone who is considerate of God’s heart, nor do they understand how to be considerate of God’s heart. In which case, are they possessed of true faith? Definitely not. Noah was considerate of God’s heart, he had true faith, and was thus able to complete God’s commission. And so, it is not enough to simply accept God’s commission and be willing to make some effort. You must also be considerate of God’s intentions, give your all, and be loyal—which requires you to have a conscience and reason; it is what people ought to have, and what was found in Noah. What do you say, to build such a big ark at that time, how many years would it have taken if Noah had dragged his heels, and had no sense of urgency, no angst, no efficiency? Could it have been finished in 100 years? (No.) It would have taken several generations of constant building. On the one hand, building a solid object like an ark would take years; what’s more, so would collecting and looking after all the living creatures. Was it easy to collect these creatures? (No.) It was not. And so, after hearing God’s commands, and comprehending God’s pressing intention, Noah sensed that this would be neither easy nor straightforward. He realized that he had to accomplish it according to God’s wishes, and complete the commission given by God, so that God would be satisfied and reassured, so that the next step of God’s work could proceed smoothly. Such was the heart of Noah. And what kind of heart was this? It was a heart that was considerate of God’s intentions(The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Three: How Noah and Abraham Obeyed God’s Words and Submitted to Him (Part Two)). “No matter what important work a leader or worker does, and what the nature of this work is, their number one priority is to understand and grasp how work is going on. They must be there in person to follow up on things and ask questions, getting their information first-hand. They must not simply rely on hearsay or listen to other people’s reports. Instead, they must observe with their own eyes the situation of the personnel and how work is progressing, and understand what difficulties there are, whether any areas are at odds with requirements of the Above, whether there are violations of principles, whether there exist any disturbances or disruptions, whether there is a lack of necessary equipment or related instructional materials regarding professional work—they must stay on top of all of this. No matter how many reports they listen to, or how much they glean from hearsay, neither of these beats paying a personal visit; it is more accurate and reliable for them to see things with their own eyes. Once they are familiar with all aspects of the situation, they will have a good idea of what’s going on. They especially must have a clear and accurate grasp of who is of good caliber and worthy of cultivation, as only this allows them to accurately cultivate and use people, which is crucial if leaders and workers are to do their work well. Leaders and workers should have a path and principles by which to cultivate and train people of good caliber. Furthermore, they should have a grasp and understanding of the various kinds of problems and difficulties that exist in church work, and know how to solve them, and they should also have their own ideas and suggestions for how work is to progress, or its future prospects. If they are able to speak with clarity about such things with their eyes closed, without any doubt or misgivings, then the work will be much easier to carry out. And by working in this way, a leader will be fulfilling their responsibilities, will they not? They must be well aware of how to resolve the abovementioned issues in the work, and they must often ponder these things. When they encounter difficulties, they must fellowship and discuss these things with everyone, seeking the truth in order to resolve the issues. By doing real work with both feet planted firmly on the ground in this way, there will be no difficulties that cannot be solved(The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (4)). God’s word showed me the path to do my duty well, which is to be considerate of God’s intentions, be concerned for God’s worries, fulfill the responsibilities I should, and not let the church’s work suffer. Just like Noah, who was genuinely considerate of God’s intention. When God told him to build the ark, he didn’t consider his own gains or losses, and only thought about how to build the ark quickly according to God’s requirements. Although I can’t compare to Noah, I wanted to imitate Noah, learn to be considerate of God’s intentions, and do my utmost to meet God’s requirements. I also understood that for leaders and workers to do real work well, we must keep abreast of work, and when we see obstacles or disruptions and disturbances in the work, we must fellowship and deal with them in time to ensure work progresses normally.

After a while, my leader put me in charge of the gospel and watering work of several churches. I thought, “I can’t let this be like last time. I can’t only care about fleshly comfort and not taking responsibility for my duty. I need to stay down to earth and devote all my efforts to my duty.” After that, I focused on equipping myself with the truth of visions every day. If there were potential gospel recipients, I actively testified about God’s work of the last days to them, and searched and equipped myself with God’s word according to their religious notions. One day, as I was going to check the work of Cheng Nan church, I thought, “The leaders and the gospel deacon of this church have believed in God for a long time. They have good caliber, and are competent and responsible in their duties. They can handle their work well, so I don’t need to follow up, which could save me some effort.” Once I had these thoughts, I realized I was being slippery again to find reasons not to supervise or follow up on work. Now that I was in charge of these several churches, carrying out and supervising church work was my responsibility and duty. I could no longer make excuses to consider my flesh and put off my duty. With this in mind, I carefully checked the work of the church. I found that a few newcomers attended gatherings irregularly and that waterers weren’t doing their jobs well. The next day, I gathered the waterers together quickly to fellowship on the truth and resolve their problems. After some time, I heard these newcomers had gotten back to regular gatherings, which made me feel at peace and secure.

Through this experience, I realized that doing duty requires actually paying a price, and even more, following up on and supervising work. This is the only way to find and resolve problems in time and do the duty well. It is the result achieved by God’s word that I have had this realization and change today. Thanks be to Almighty God!

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Next: 65. The Reason Why I Was So Busy

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