67. One Ordeal After Another
One morning in April of 2009, at around 9 a.m., Sister Ding Ning and I were rushed by eight men the moment we stepped out onto the street after a gathering. Without so much as saying a single word, they immediately pulled our hands behind our backs and confiscated our bags and over 40,000 yuan in church funds. I was completely taken off guard and before I had time to react, I had already been escorted into their vehicle. Soon after, I heard a woman say, “The suspects are in our custody.” It was only then that I realized that we’d been apprehended by the police. I was enraged that they had stolen such a large sum of our church funds and thought, “These officers just arbitrarily arrested us and took our money in broad daylight—where is the rule of law?” I was feeling a bit frightened and my heart was racing, so I continually prayed to God. I asked God to protect my heart so that no matter how the officers tortured and interrogated me, I wouldn’t betray God like Judas and could stand firm in my testimony for Him. After prayer, I felt a sense of calm come over me.
The officers took us to a remote place and split us up for interrogation. The interrogation room had a gloomy and ominous feel to it and the officers inside appeared fiendish and sinister. One of the officers started the interrogation by asking, “Are you a church leader? What is your relationship to Ding Ning? How did you both meet? Is she your upper leader?” I replied, saying, “I’m not a leader and I don’t know who this ‘Ding Ning’ is you speak of.” This enraged him and he slapped me across the face and kicked me twice before yelling, “So it looks like I’m going to have to do this the hard way in order for you to confess.” After saying that, he began punching me repeatedly in the face. I lost track of how many times he hit me—blood streamed from my lips, my face was swollen to the point of disfigurement and I was wracked by searing pain. But he didn’t let up even then and continued to rain fists down on my head, leaving me with a painfully swollen lump on my forehead. I thought to myself, “They are merciless in their beatings. What will I do if I get a concussion from these brutal beatings? What if they beat me to the point that I get serious brain damage? How will I continue to believe in God then?” The more I thought about it, the more fearful I became. I quietly prayed to God, asking Him to protect my heart. After prayer, I recalled this passage of God’s words: “Who of the whole of mankind is not cared for in the eyes of the Almighty? Who does not live in the midst of the Almighty’s predestination? Does man’s life and death happen by his own choice? Does man control his own fate?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Words to the Entire Universe, Chapter 11). God is the Creator and He rules over all things. My life was in His hands and Satan had no say over whether I’d be crippled or beaten to the point of brain damage. I was willing to put my life in God’s hands. Realizing this, I felt a bit more at peace and thought, “These devils had better give up on thinking they’ll get the slightest bit of information from me. I will never give in to them!”
After that, the officers took me to a hotel and continued interrogating me. A female officer shrilly grilled me, asking, “What is your name? How many host families have you stayed with? Who do you know? Where does your church keep its funds?” When I wouldn’t reply, she charged up in front of me, slapped me twice across the face and made me take off my shoes before trampling over my toes with her leather shoes. A searing pain immediately shot through my whole body and I couldn’t help but cry out in agony. She trampled on my bleeding toes while saying, “If you can’t take the pain, just tell us what we want to hear!” The pain was truly unbearable and so I called out to God, “Oh God! If they don’t get what they want, they won’t let up on me. I’m worried that I won’t be able to withstand their torture. Please guide me.” After prayer, I suddenly remembered that God was my shield and with God leading the way, what was there to fear? No matter how the police tortured me, I wouldn’t betray God or sell out the church. Seeing that I still wouldn’t talk, another officer handcuffed my hands behind my back and forcibly pulled my hands upward as he interrogated me. I immediately felt a pain in my arm like it had been dislocated and, before long, the backs of my hands began to swell severely. Another officer threatened me, “If you don’t start talking, we’ll strip you naked, hang a sign from your neck and then put you on top of a squad car and parade you around town. We’ll see if you have any dignity left after that!” Hearing this, I became very worried and thought, “These devils are truly evil and it seems as though there’s nothing they won’t do. If they really do strip me naked and parade me around town, how will I be able to show my face in public and go on living after that?” Just as I was feeling most weak and distressed, I recalled the hymn of God’s words “God Suffers Great Torment for Man’s Salvation.” It says that: “This time, God has become flesh to perform the work that He has not yet completed, to judge this age and bring it to a close, to save man from the sea of suffering, to thoroughly conquer humanity, and to change people’s life dispositions. Many are the sleepless nights that God has endured to free man from suffering and from the dark forces that are as black as night, and for the sake of the work of mankind. He has descended from the highest to the lowest of places to live in this human hell and pass His days with man. God has never complained of the shabbiness among man, nor has He ever asked too much of man; rather, God has endured the greatest humiliation while carrying out His work. So that all of humanity may soon enjoy rest, God has endured humiliation and suffered injustice to come to earth, and personally entered into the tiger’s den to save mankind” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Work and Entry). As I pondered over God’s words, I was deeply moved. God is holy—in order to save humankind, who had been deeply corrupted by Satan, He came twice in the flesh. He first came to redeem mankind and was crucified, suffering unbearable torment. In the last days, He has come again in the flesh to China and has suffered persecution and manhunts by the CCP as well as condemnation, slander, and rejection from the religious world all in order to thoroughly save mankind from their sinfulness. God has quietly endured all of this and continues to express truths and performs the work to save us—His love for us is truly so great. I was lucky enough to accept God’s work in the last days and enjoy the supply of God’s words, so I knew I should repay God’s love. Having made these realizations, I knew that the pain and humiliation were all meaningful and valuable—it was enduring persecution in the name of righteousness. I silently prayed to God, “Oh God! No matter how the officers humiliate me, I will stand firm in my testimony to satisfy You!” After prayer, I didn’t feel quite as afraid. After that, no matter how the officers threatened me, I didn’t say a word and they had no other choice but to leave.
Several days later, when the officers concluded they wouldn’t be able to extract any information from me, they sent me to a detention center. As soon as I arrived, a female officer intentionally humiliated me by ordering me to take off all my clothes and spin around in circles, as well as squat down with my hands behind my head and do frog jumps. Forty-two days later, I was given a trumped-up charge of “using a cult organization to undermine the enforcement of the law” and sentenced to a year and a half of reeducation through labor. It was going to be incredibly difficult to go over a year without reading God’s words, gathering, fellowshipping and doing my duty, I thought. I silently prayed to God, “Oh God! I don’t know what torment lies ahead and if I’ll be able to withstand it. Please guide me to understand Your intention, so that I can stand strong in this environment.” After prayer, I recalled this passage of God’s words: “Do not be discouraged, do not be weak, and I will make things clear for you. The road to the kingdom is not so smooth; nothing is that simple! You want blessings to come to you easily, do you not? Today, everyone will have bitter trials to face. Without such trials, the loving heart you have for Me will not grow stronger and you will not have true love for Me. Even if these trials consist merely of minor circumstances, everyone must pass through them; it’s just that the difficulty of the trials will vary from one person to another. Trials are a blessing from Me, and how many of you come often before Me and beg on your knees for My blessings? Silly children! You always think that a few auspicious words count as My blessing, yet you do not recognize that bitterness is one of My blessings. Those who share in My bitterness will certainly share in My sweetness. That is My promise and My blessing to you” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 41). God’s words helped me realize that this environment would help perfect my faith and strengthen my will to endure suffering. Only by going through suffering would I be able to pray and rely on God more and draw closer to Him. Despite the fact that I wouldn’t be able to read God’s words or gather and fellowship with brothers and sisters for the next year and a half, God would still be with me and so I had to rely on God and stand firm in my testimony to humiliate Satan. After coming to understand God’s intention, I felt a renewed sense of faith and strength. During my time in the labor camp, I would often pray to God and ponder over His words. Thanks to the guidance of God’s words, I was able to make it through the long days of my confinement.
After being released, I began doing my duty again, but in October of 2013, I was once again arrested. That day, at around four in the afternoon, I was just returning from spreading the gospel and was disembarking from the bus, when I was rushed by a group of three people and held down. One of them said, “It’s been a few years now, do you still recognize me? Why don’t you come for a little ride with us?” I immediately panicked, thinking, “Now I’m in for it. Now that the police have me detained, they certainly won’t let me off easily.” They forced me into their cruiser and sat on either side of me, holding my hands down so I couldn’t move. After that, I was sent to a brainwashing center and accompanied at all times by two “escorts.” In that place, from 7:30 in the morning until 7:00 in the evening, to get me to betray God, I was forced to watch videos that blasphemed God and discredited the church, as well as videos that extolled the CCP. The escorts monitored me 24 hours a day and I wasn’t allowed to pray or even close the door when going to the bathroom. The long hours of brainwashing and constant surveillance left me feeling repressed—I felt anxious and on edge every day, and was terrified that if I wasn’t careful, I would fall for Satan’s plot. I just continually prayed to God and beseeched Him to protect my heart.
One day, Chen, who oversaw brainwashing, brought me a copy of The Word Appears in the Flesh and said, “This is your church’s book—do you still think this is the word of God? It’s clearly written by a mere person.” I took the book of God’s words and thought, “Each of God’s words is the truth; you devils don’t believe in God, so how could you possibly understand His words?” I opened up the book and saw the following passage: “The utmost faith and love are required from us in this stage of work. We may stumble from the slightest carelessness, for this stage of work is different from all the previous ones: What God is perfecting is mankind’s faith, which is both invisible and intangible. What God does is convert words to faith, to love, and to life” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Path … (8)). Reading these words, I felt God’s encouragement and comfort. God’s work in the last days is the work of words. He arranges all kinds of situations to allow people to experience His words, allowing those words to become a part of people, to become their life. This is how God saves and perfects mankind. I thought of how God’s words gave me faith and strength to overcome the devils’ abuse during the torture and torment of my first arrest. Now during this current arrest, when I was feeling tormented, anguished, and repressed due to being continually monitored and brainwashed with heresies and fallacies, God arranged for the officer to show me a copy of His words, which filled me with faith and strength. Despite the perilous ordeals that befell me within the hellish prison, I truly didn’t feel alone, knowing that God was always protecting me and using His words to guide me. After that, no matter how the officers tried to brainwash me with Satan’s heresies and fallacies, I would consciously quiet my thoughts before God and pray to and rely upon Him so that I didn’t fall for Satan’s plots. An officer showed me a picture of a sister and asked if I recognized her. When I wouldn’t respond, he tried to intimidate and trick me by saying, “The others already sold you out. They told us you’re a leader, but here you are still trying to protect them. They already all confessed and were sent home. You’re just being stupid by not speaking and you’ll be in for a long, long prison sentence! The sooner you start talking, the sooner we can send you home.” I was shocked when I heard this, thinking, “Someone sold me out? Then the officers must know all about me! If I don’t start talking, I might really be in for a long sentence. Perhaps, I can just tell them some insignificant details, so that if I really do have to go to prison, at least I can get a reduced sentence and not have to suffer as much.” But then I thought, “If I tell them details, won’t I be betraying God and selling out my brothers and sisters? That won’t do, I can’t tell them anything!” Just then, I recalled God’s words which say: “In the future I will bring retribution upon each person according to what they have done. I have said all that there is to say, for this is precisely the work I do” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Evil Will Surely Be Punished). God’s words helped me understand how He treats people according to how they have acted. If I were to sell out my brothers and sisters, I would be acting like a shameful Judas and God would curse and punish me. If others sold me out, that was their evildoing, but I could not betray God or sell out other brothers and sisters. I recalled how a sister had been arrested, subjected to brutal torture, and given a 9-year prison sentence, but she never gave in to Satan and continued to do her duty when she was released. Despite experiencing some suffering, she had stood firm in her testimony and God approved of her. There was also Peter who, in the Age of Grace, was crucified upside down after being arrested and bore testimony to his love of God. Recalling these stories, I felt deeply encouraged and my heart was filled with faith and strength. I made a silent resolution: No matter how long I have to stay in prison, I will never betray God or sell out my brothers and sisters!
After that, they continued interrogating me, asking, “Who are you in contact with? Who is your upper leader? Where do they live?” When I wouldn’t answer, they made me stand facing the wall and took two-hour shifts, with two officers assigned to each shift, to make sure I didn’t fall asleep over the course of 24 hours. If they saw me nodding off, they would yell out, “Don’t you dare close your eyes or pray to your God!” After standing for an entire day, my legs were so swollen that they became stretched and shiny and I could no longer fit into my shoes and had to go barefoot. My back was also so sore that I thought I’d broken something. They tortured me in this way for a whole seven days and seven nights. I was completely exhausted both in body and mind and my body was reaching the breaking point, so I quietly called out in prayer to God, asking Him to give me the faith and strength to overcome the savagery of these devils. After prayer, I recalled God’s words which say: “During these last days you must bear testimony to God. No matter how great your suffering, you should walk until the very end, and even at your last breath, still you must be faithful to God and at the mercy of God; only this is truly loving God, and only this is the strong and resounding testimony” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only by Experiencing Painful Trials Can You Know the Loveliness of God). God’s words filled me with faith. No matter how the police tortured me, they couldn’t control my heart. As long as I was still living and breathing, I would stand firm in my testimony to humiliate Satan. Later on, one of the officers brought out a statement blaspheming God and asked me to sign my name. When I didn’t sign, they slapped me multiple times across the face and viciously spouted, “You’re just a piece of meat on the cutting block and we can chop you up however we like. Every day that you don’t sign your name and don’t tell us what we want to know is another day where we let you have it. We have eighteen different forms of torture available here for your ‘leisurely enjoyment.’ We could kill you and no one would ever find out!” After saying this, they began kicking and punching me. They beat me for over 10 minutes—I felt dazed, my face was swollen, my head was throbbing, I heard a loud ringing in my ears, and blood ran from my mouth. My face hurt so much that it felt like someone had thrown salt on a fresh burn wound. I was worried that if they kept on beating me like that, I would inevitably die. Just then, I recalled a passage of God’s words: “When people are ready to sacrifice their lives, everything becomes trifling, and no one can get the better of them. What could be more important than life?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Interpretations of the Mysteries of “God’s Words to the Entire Universe,” Chapter 36). God’s words gave me faith and strength. My life and death were in God’s hands and without His permission, Satan could not take my life away. Even if I were to be tortured to death, it would be with God’s permission. I was ready to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements and would stand firm in my testimony to satisfy Him even if it meant my death.
After that, they relentlessly intimated and coerced me to sign a statement that was blasphemous toward God. When I wouldn’t sign it, they forced me to sit in a squat while they beat me with a metal rod on my legs and back. Another time, an officer beat me so hard on my back that it felt like something had broken and I cried out involuntarily. He then lit a cigarette and blew the smoke in my eyes while forcing me to keep my eyes open. There was a painful burning sensation in my eyes and tears and snot came streaming from my eyes and nose. I couldn’t stop coughing from the smoke and tried to move my head out of the way, but the officer grabbed me by the hair to hold my head in place and continued blowing smoke. As he laughed maniacally, he said, “How do you like that? If you can’t take it, just sign the paper and tell us what you know. If you don’t talk, you’ll be in for it. Tomorrow I’ll buy another pack of cigarettes and smoke you out again.” By the time that cigarette had burned down, my clothes were completely drenched in sweat. The officer then forced me to assume a squat position again, but I was completely exhausted, my entire body trembled and I was so weak that I felt that I would collapse at any moment. They continued to torture me in this way for another two hours. Later, they blew smoke in my face with another two cigarettes—I was in utter agony, there was a terribly oppressive feeling in my chest and abdomen and my fingers had become rigid and curled. They grabbed my hand and tried to force me to sign the document, but I quietly prayed to God and wouldn’t let them budge my hand an inch. In the end, I didn’t sign that document that blasphemed God, but the officers weren’t done with me—to force me to sign, one of the officers grabbed me by my hair and slammed my head on a wall, leaving me with a large, swollen lump on my head. After that, he hit me hard on the face, kicked me in the legs and stomach, which left me feeling dizzy and numb throughout my body. Once the officer got tired from beating me, he grabbed an electric baton and began tasing me on my face, chest, and other parts of my body. It felt like I was being stabbed with needles throughout my body. I continually prayed to God, asking Him to fill me with the faith and strength to stand firm. As he tased me, the officer viciously threatened, “I’m going to torture you until you get internal damage. When you leave here, you’ll be riddled with illnesses and die a slow death!” The more these officers spoke, the more I hated them. I thought of God’s words, which say: “How can this devil, apoplectic with rage, allow God to have control over its imperial court on the earth? How can it willingly bow down to His superior might? Its hideous countenance has been revealed for what it is, so that one knows not whether to laugh or cry, and it is truly difficult to speak of. Is this not its substance? With an ugly soul, it still believes that it is beautiful beyond belief. This gang of accomplices in crime! They come down into the mortal realm to indulge in pleasures and cause a commotion, stirring things up so much that the world becomes a fickle and inconstant place and the heart of man is filled with panic and unease, and they have toyed with man so much that his appearance has become that of an inhuman beast of the field, supremely ugly, and from which the last trace of the original holy man has been lost. Furthermore, they even wish to assume sovereign power on earth. They impede the work of God so much that it can barely inch forward, and they close man off as tightly as walls of copper and steel. Having committed so many grievous sins and caused so many disasters, are they still expecting something other than chastisement?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Work and Entry (7)). The CCP is the devil that hates and resists God. The more they tortured me, the more clearly I could see them for how ugly and repulsive they truly were. I hated them with all my being, rebelled against them and felt even more motivated to follow and satisfy God. After that, the officer tried to intimidate me again by saying, “Even if you don’t talk, you’ll still be convicted and will be sent to jail for over ten years!” I was outraged and thought, “If I have to go to jail, then so be it. No matter how many years I’m sentenced to, I’ll never give in to you devils!” Ultimately, they were unable to ascertain any information from me and, in July of 2014, they slapped me with a trumped-up charge of “using a cult organization to undermine the enforcement of the law” and sentenced me to four years in prison.
Thinking back on the two times I was arrested and imprisoned, the CCP used various methods to try to get me to betray God, including savage beatings, intimidation, brainwashing and humiliation. Throughout each of these ordeals, if I hadn’t had God’s protection and the faith and strength instilled in me through God’s words, I would have been tortured to death by the officers long ago. Through these ordeals, I experienced God’s love firsthand and witnessed the authority and power of His words. It is God’s words that guided me through these tribulations. No matter how the CCP persecutes me, I will continue following God and doing my duty to repay God’s love.