71. My Misgivings Over Practicing the Truth

By Jiang Ping, China

In September 2021, I was responsible for an item of church work, and Zhao Ting was the team leader. When everyone would discuss work together, Zhao Ting would always insist on her own views and wouldn’t listen to others. This would often land us in a deadlock and stop work from progressing. I wanted to talk to her about this, but my words were stuck in my throat when I remembered how Zhao Ting would often expose me as being arrogant, self-righteous, and insistent on my views before. Even though I knew what she said was true, I truly disliked it from the bottom of my heart. It felt like she was exposing my wounds by doing this and I wanted her to just stop talking. If I pointed out her problem now, wouldn’t she feel the same pain that I did? I thought it best to keep quiet so that neither of us would feel bad. Furthermore, I didn’t like being exposed and having my problems pointed out by others and hadn’t changed but was still asking others to change, wouldn’t that show I was completely irrational? If she turned the tables on me and said, “You don’t even like accepting advice from others, so what gives you the right to criticize me?” then I’d have no response. Also, we normally got along very well and had a pretty good rapport, and spoke politely with each other. What if when I spoke out about her problems, she would no longer view me the same way, and didn’t want to cooperate with me on work? With these things in mind, I didn’t point out her problems.

Not long after, a sister named Wu Xin joined our team. After a while, I found that she wasn’t making any progress. She was always competing against others, and when she didn’t stack up, she’d sulk. I fellowshipped on some of God’s words that related to her problems, and I drew on principles to guide and help her. But she didn’t reflect on her problem and said that the reason she wasn’t getting results was because we hadn’t fellowshipped on principles with her clearly. Seeing her like this, I wanted to fellowship and dissect her essence of pursuing reputation and status, and the consequences of carrying on like this. But then I recalled how she mentioned the revelation of her corruptions in a gathering, saying that she didn’t like to point out others’ problems and didn’t like others always pointing out hers. I thought, “Reputation and status are important to me, too, and I want to gradually seek and enter into this aspect on my own. I don’t want others to expose and point out my problems. If I speak too harshly, it’ll make her unhappy. I’d best start by fellowshipping and helping her. Perhaps once she’s grasped principles and gained some results, her not being able to satisfy her desire for vanity and status won’t make her so negative.” Thinking this, I stopped pointing out her problems. I later found out that Wu Xin had pretty poor humanity. She’d often speak to people in a belittling and sarcastic way, making them feel constrained, and sometimes she’d attack and exclude those with different views. When problems emerged at work, she didn’t reflect at all and tried to shirk responsibility, and she wasn’t getting any results in her duty. According to principles, she had to be dismissed. I thought doing that might offend her, so I reported her situation to a leader. But the leader was too busy to come, so she had me dismiss Wu Xin. When I met with her, I wanted to dissect her constant pursuit of reputation and status, her attacks and exclusion of different voices, and how she was walking the path of an antichrist so that she’d know the essence and consequences of her problems, but I swallowed back the words I was going to say. I thought of how she valued reputation and status and how fragile she was. If I exposed and dissected her problems, and she couldn’t take it and developed a bias against me, what then? I thought it best to hold my tongue. So, I just brought up how she wasn’t getting results, and then I dismissed her, gave her some words of comfort, and had her reflect on herself properly. When the leader found out I hadn’t dissected Wu Xin’s behavior, she pruned me, saying, “Her problems were so serious, but you didn’t expose or dissect them! You’re too much of a people pleaser!” It was pretty hard to hear this. I knew that I hadn’t seen to my responsibilities, but I didn’t reflect on myself at the time. It wasn’t until a later incident that I finally started to reflect.

At that time, Zhao Ting and her group organized some information about individuals to be expelled, but there were a lot of points that were unclear. Under normal circumstances, these kinds of low-level mistakes wouldn’t occur. I asked the others what was going on, and they said that Zhao Ting was insisting on herself. No matter what anyone suggested, she shot them down. They all felt constrained and just had to do as she said. I felt so guilty when I heard this. I’d long since known about this problem of hers, but because I was afraid of offending her, I never exposed it, and as a result, the work had been delayed. I finally started to seek the truth and reflect on myself. I read a passage of God’s word: “Conscience and reason should both be components of a person’s humanity. These are both the most fundamental and most important. What kind of person is one who lacks conscience and does not have the reason of normal humanity? Generally speaking, they are a person who lacks humanity, a person of extremely poor humanity. Going into more detail, what manifestations of lost humanity does this person exhibit? Have a go at analyzing what characteristics are found in such people and what specific manifestations they present. (They are selfish and base.) Selfish and base people are perfunctory in their actions and stand aloof from anything that does not concern them personally. They do not consider the interests of God’s house, nor do they show consideration for God’s intentions. They take on no burden of performing their duties or testifying for God, and they have no sense of responsibility. … There are some people who do not take any responsibility regardless of the duty they are performing. They don’t promptly report problems they discover to their superiors, either. When they see people being disruptive and disturbing, they turn a blind eye. When they see evil people committing evil, they don’t try to stop them. They don’t protect the interests of the house of God, or consider what their duty and responsibility is. When they perform their duty, people like this don’t do any real work; they are people pleasers and are greedy for comfort; they speak and act only for their own vanity, face, status, and interests, and are only willing to devote their time and effort to things that benefit them(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Giving One’s Heart to God, One Can Obtain the Truth). God’s word exposed my exact state. I’d seen that Zhao Ting had an arrogant disposition and constrained others, already impacting the work. As a supervisor, I should have pointed out and exposed her problem, but I worried she wouldn’t accept it and then think poorly of me, so whenever I wanted to point out her problem, it felt like something was stuck in my throat and I couldn’t get the words out. I used work as a pretense, thinking that if our relationship broke down, she wouldn’t cooperate with my work. While it looked like I was considering the work, I really just didn’t want to ruin our friendly and good relationship, and I wanted to make a good impression on my brothers and sisters. Besides, I clearly noticed that Wu Xin’s problems were serious, but I was afraid that if I exposed and pointed out her problems, she’d view me poorly, so I just kept failing to expose her problems, and as a result, she didn’t recognize herself and her corrupt disposition remained unchanged, and she disrupted and disturbed the church work and made the others feel constrained. When doing my duty, I was only considering my own interests and my position in the hearts of others. I saw others disrupting and disturbing work by relying on their corrupt dispositions in their duties, and I just ignored it, not considering the church’s work at all. I was so selfish, without any conscience or reason!

Later on, I read another passage of God’s word: “Until people have experienced God’s work and understood the truth, it is Satan’s nature that takes charge and dominates them from within. What, specifically, does that nature entail? For example, why are you selfish? Why do you protect your own position? Why do you have such strong feelings? Why do you enjoy those unrighteous things? Why do you like those evils? What is the basis for your fondness for such things? Where do these things come from? Why are you so happy to accept them? By now, you have all come to understand that the main reason behind all these things is that Satan’s poison is within man. So what is Satan’s poison? How can it be expressed? For example, if you ask, ‘How should people live? What should people live for?’ people will answer, ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ This single phrase expresses the very root of the problem. Satan’s philosophy and logic have become people’s lives. No matter what people pursue, they do so for themselves—and so they live only for themselves. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’—this is the life philosophy of man, and it also represents human nature(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). From the exposure of God’s word, I understood the main reason I always turned a blind eye and was too scared to point out others’ problems was because I relied on satanic philosophies like “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship,” and “If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings.” I always thought I should only do something if I would benefit from it, and that pointing out and exposing someone else’s problems would offend them and not benefit me, so I didn’t want to do it. I was too selfish, despicable, slippery, and deceitful. I saw that Zhao Ting was being arrogant, insistent, and not listening to others, and that she’d impacted the work, but I’d rather protect my relationship with her than expose or dissect her problems. I was always afraid that I’d offend her and was always compliant in order to please her. I was scared of offending people but not God and didn’t consider the interests of the church. I was living a vile and worthless life without conscience or reason. A person with conscience and reason can fellowship the truth to help others when they see others are in a bad state, and when they see someone disrupting and disturbing the church work, they can stand up to expose and stop them. As a supervisor, I should hold an even greater burden and responsibility. No matter if a brother or sister has a problem with their state or their work, I should fellowship and help them. If a person is disrupting and disturbing the church work, I should prune them, expose them, and stop them in good time. This is how a supervisor should do their job. But to protect the good impression others had of me, I didn’t even fulfill basic responsibilities. I was irresponsible toward the work, and I didn’t consider the life entry of my brothers and sisters at all. I saw that by being a people pleaser, I was actually being blackhearted and malicious. Doing my duty in this way is sickening and loathsome to God. If I carried on like this, I would be exposed and eliminated by God in the end. Realizing these things was very upsetting. I didn’t want to keep living like this, so I prayed to God, “God, I want to practice the truth, but my corrupt disposition is so severe. Please enlighten me to know myself and find a path of practice.”

One day, in my devotionals, I read that God’s word says: “In the church, stand firm in your testimony to Me, uphold the truth; right is right and wrong is wrong. Do not confuse black and white. You shall be at war with Satan and must completely vanquish it so that it never rises again. You must give everything you have to protect My testimony. This shall be the goal of your actions—do not forget this(The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 41). God’s word gave me a path of practice. With everything, I need to uphold the truth principles and protect the church’s interests. Zhao Ting had already disturbed and disrupted the church’s work by relying on her corrupt disposition in her duties. I had to fellowship with her and expose and dissect her, so that she could know her problems. If she still didn’t reflect or repent, I had to transfer or dismiss her promptly. Later, I pointed out Zhao Ting’s problems to her and I read her some passages of God’s word exposing arrogant dispositions. By reading God’s word, she gained some knowledge of her arrogant disposition and then had made some improvements and changes. When everyone put forth different views in a discussion, she was able to seek and listen to them, no longer insisting on her own views. By not protecting my relationships with others and doing my duty according to the truth principles, I felt at ease. I finally had some human likeness by living like this.

Later on, I wondered, “Apart from my selfishness, meanness, and desire to protect my interests, what other things were constraining me to always be a people pleaser?” One day, in a gathering, I read God’s words that say: “In a literal sense, ‘Do not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire’ means that if you do not like something, or do not like to do something, then you shouldn’t force it onto other people either. This seems smart and reasonable, but if you use this satanic philosophy to handle every situation, then you will make many mistakes. It is likely that you will hurt, mislead, or even harm people. Just like how some parents are not fond of studying, but like to make their children study, and always try to reason with them, urging them to study hard. If you were to apply the requirement here to ‘not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire,’ then these parents shouldn’t make their children study, because they themselves do not enjoy it. There are other people who believe in God, but do not pursue the truth; yet in their hearts they know that believing in God is the right path in life. If they see that their children do not believe in God and are not on the right path, they urge them to believe in God. Even though they themselves do not pursue the truth, they still want their children to pursue it and be blessed. In this situation, if they adhered to the saying ‘Do not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire,’ then these parents should not make their children believe in God. That would be in line with this satanic philosophy, but it also would have destroyed their children’s chance at salvation. Who is responsible for this outcome? Does the traditional saying on moral conduct of not imposing on others that which you yourself do not desire not harm people? … For example, some people do not love the truth; they covet the comforts of the flesh, and find ways to slack off when performing their duty. They are not willing to suffer or pay a price. They think that the saying ‘Do not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire’ puts it well, and tell people, ‘You should learn how to enjoy yourselves. You don’t need to properly perform your duty or suffer hardship or pay a price. If you can slack off, then slack off; if you can muddle through something, then muddle through it. Don’t make things so hard on yourselves. Look, I live this way—isn’t it great? My life is just perfect! You’re exhausting yourselves living that way! You should learn from me.’ Does this not meet the requirement of ‘not imposing on others that which you yourself do not desire’? If you act this way, are you a person with conscience and reason? (No.) If a person loses their conscience and reason, are they not lacking virtue? This is called lacking virtue. Why do we call it this? Because they crave comfort, they muddle through their duty, and incite and influence others to join them in being perfunctory and craving comfort. What is the problem with this? Being perfunctory and irresponsible in your duty is an act of trickery and resistance to God. If you continue to be perfunctory and do not repent, you will be exposed and eliminated(The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (10)). “‘Do not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire’ is a very problematic saying. The holes and flaws in it are glaringly obvious; it is not even worth dissecting and discerning it. With the slightest examination, its errors and ridiculousness are plain to see. However, there are many among you who are easily persuaded and influenced by this saying and accept it without discernment. When interacting with others, you often use this saying to admonish yourself and exhort others. By doing this, you think that your character is particularly noble, and that your comportment is very reasonable. But without realizing it, these words have revealed the principle you live by and your stance on issues. At the same time, you have misled and misguided others into approaching people and circumstances with the same view and stance as you. You have acted like a veritable fence-straddler, and completely taken the middle road. You say, ‘No matter what the issue is, there is no need to take it seriously. Don’t make things difficult for yourself or others. If you make things difficult for other people, then you’re making them difficult for yourself. Being kind to others is being kind to yourself. If you’re hard on other people, then you’re being hard on yourself. Why put yourself in a difficult position? Not imposing on others that which you yourself do not desire is the best thing you could do for yourself, and the most considerate.’ This attitude is obviously one of not being meticulous in anything. You have no correct stance or perspective on any issue; you have a muddled view of everything. You are not meticulous and just turn a blind eye to things. When you finally stand before God and account for yourself, it will be a big muddle. Why is that? Because you always say you should not impose on others that which you yourself don’t desire. This gives you great comfort and enjoyment, but at the same time it will cause you great trouble, making it so that you can’t have a clear view or stance on many matters. Of course, it also makes you unable to understand clearly what God’s requirements and standards for you are when you encounter these situations, or what outcome you should achieve. These things happen because you are not meticulous in anything; they are caused by your muddled attitude and view. Is not imposing on others that which you yourself don’t desire the tolerant attitude you should have toward people and things? No, it is not. It is just a theory which appears right, noble, and kind from the outside, but is actually a thoroughly negative thing. Clearly, even less is it a truth principle that people should be adhering to(The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (10)). God’s words expose that Satan uses the saying of “Do not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire” to corrupt and mislead us, to make us think that we shouldn’t impose onto others things that we wouldn’t like to do or can’t do, and that this is rational behavior. I was living by relying on this idea. I clearly knew that Zhao Ting’s arrogance and self-righteousness were impacting work, and I should have pointed out and exposed her problem, but I thought of how I often revealed an arrogant disposition and about how I disliked always being critiqued by others, so I thought that imposing something I didn’t like onto another person was irrational, so I was too scared to point out Zhao Ting’s problem. I clearly knew that Wu Xin was just working for reputation and status, and her arrogance was constraining others and disrupting and disturbing the work. She needed to be exposed and pruned, but I thought about how I valued my reputation and status greatly and wasn’t willing to have my problems pointed out or exposed by others, so I lived by the viewpoint of “Do not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire” and so I didn’t expose her. I thought that being exposed and critiqued was painful and humiliating, and I hoped that others wouldn’t prune or critique me, so I didn’t want to do the same to others. Actually, I was just accommodating and protecting myself. I was protecting my vanity and status and wouldn’t accept the truth and even connived and accommodated others. I was rebellious and resisting God and I was allowing others to do the same. In essence, I was hoping that nobody would practice the truth or experience God’s judgment and chastisement or be pruned. I was truly despicable and immoral! We have been corrupted by Satan and are filled with satanic dispositions. Our natures are arrogant, conceited, selfish, deceitful, and inclined to seek reputation and status. Without the judgment and exposure of God’s word, without being pruned, and without the criticism or help of others, we cannot help but disrupt the church’s work. Zhao Ting and Wu Xin were revealing corrupt dispositions and on the wrong path, and if nobody critiqued or exposed them, they would disrupt the church’s work. If their infraction was minor, they would be dismissed, but if it was more serious, they would be expelled. I was living by satanic philosophies, seeing problems but not bringing them up. This is secretly allowing others to act by their satanic dispositions, and this would hurt myself and others in the end. Seeing that I’d been living by the satanic poison of “Do not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire,” not only was I not doing my duty well, but I was also acting as Satan’s accomplice and disrupting church work. Realizing these things was hard to take, and I wanted to confess and repent to God.

One day, I read a passage of God’s word that says: “God does not demand that people not impose on others that which they themselves do not desire, instead He asks people to be clear on the principles they should observe when handling different situations. If it is correct and in line with the truth in God’s words, then you must cling to it. And not only must you cling to it, you must admonish, persuade, and fellowship with others, so that they understand exactly what God’s intentions are, and what the truth principles are. This is your responsibility and obligation. God does not ask you to take the middle road, and even less does He ask you to show off how big your heart is. You should cling to the things God has admonished you for and taught to you, and what God talks about in His words: the requirements, the criteria, and the truth principles that people should be observing. Not only must you cling to them, and hold on to them forever, but you must also practice these truth principles by leading by example, as well as persuading, supervising, helping, and guiding others to cling to, observe, and practice them in the same way you do. God demands that you do this—this is what He entrusts to you. You cannot just make requirements of yourself while ignoring others. God demands that you take the correct stance on issues, cling to the correct criteria, and know precisely what the criteria in God’s words are, and that you figure out precisely what the truth principles are. Even if you cannot accomplish this, even if you are unwilling, if you don’t like it, if you have notions, or if you resist it, you must treat it as your responsibility, as your obligation. You must fellowship with people on the positive things that come from God, on things which are right and correct, and use them to help, impact, and guide others, so that people can benefit from and be edified by them, and walk the correct path in life. This is your responsibility, and you should not stubbornly cling to the idea ‘Do not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire’ which Satan has put into your mind. In God’s eyes, that saying is just a philosophy for worldly dealings; it is a way of thinking that contains Satan’s trickery; it is not at all the correct path, nor is it a positive thing. All God requires of you, is for you to be an upright person who understands clearly what they should and should not do. He does not call you to be a people-pleaser or a fence-straddler; He has not called you to take the middle road. When a matter concerns the truth principles, you must say what needs to be said, and understand what needs to be understood. If someone does not understand something but you do, and you can give pointers and help them out, then you absolutely must fulfill this responsibility and obligation. You must not just stand by the wayside and watch, and even less should you cling to the philosophies that Satan has put into your mind such as not imposing on others that which you yourself do not desire. Do you understand? (Yes.) That which is right and positive is so even if you don’t like it, aren’t willing to do it, aren’t capable of doing and achieving it, are resistant to it, or develop notions against it. The essence of God’s words and the truth won’t change just because mankind has corrupt dispositions and has certain emotions, feelings, desires and notions. The essence of God’s words and the truth will never, ever change. As soon as you know, understand, experience and attain God’s words and the truth, it is your obligation to fellowship your experiential testimonies to others. This will allow even more people to understand God’s intentions, comprehend and attain the truth, understand God’s demands and standards and have a grasp of the truth principles. By doing this, these people will gain a path of practice when they encounter issues in their daily life and won’t become muddled or be fettered by Satan’s various ideas and views. The saying on moral conduct ‘Do not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire’ is really and truly Satan’s cunning scheme to control the minds of people. If you always uphold this, then you are someone who lives according to satanic philosophies; a person who completely lives in a satanic disposition. If you do not follow God’s way, then you do not love or pursue the truth. No matter what happens, the principle you should follow and the most important thing you must do is help people as much as you can. You should not practice what Satan says, which is to ‘not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire,’ and be a ‘smart’ people-pleaser. What does it mean to help people as much as you can? It means fulfilling your responsibilities and obligations. As soon as you see that something is part of your responsibilities and obligations, you should fellowship on God’s words and the truth. This is what it means to fulfill your responsibilities and obligations(The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (10)). From God’s word I came to understand that God requires us to practice the truth and uphold principles in all things, and that when we do our duties together, when we see someone violating principles or disturbing church work, we should critique and help them. Only when everyone lives by God’s word can we improve in our duties. When it comes to issues of principle, we can’t be afraid to offend people or consider their feelings. We must act according to the truth principles and protect church work. Whether others accept it or not, we all should practice the truth and fulfill our responsibility. As a supervisor, my responsibility is to fellowship and resolve problems in good time when I see them. If I don’t resolve the problems I see, just play the people pleaser, and take the middle way, I am not fulfilling my responsibilities and am resisting God. Also, it’s not that I can’t point out others’ problems just because I reveal corruptions myself. When I reveal corruptions, I need to seek the truth and reflect on myself, that is my own matter. But, when I see others violating principles and causing damage to the church’s work, I have to fellowship, expose, and stop them. This is protecting the church’s work and is my responsibility. I shouldn’t confuse the two things. I value my reputation and status a lot, and have an arrogant disposition, I need to reflect and seek the truth to resolve these things and not accommodate myself and indulge others. I used to live by the satanic philosophy of “Do not impose on others that which you yourself do not desire,” thinking that I shouldn’t ask others to do things I didn’t like to do or couldn’t do myself. As a result, opportunities to practice the truth slipped away. I finally saw that my views had been ridiculous and absurd.

Later, when I saw others violating principles and impacting church work, I exposed, dissected, and fellowshipped with them on their problems, and although I was still worried they’d think poorly of me, I wasn’t overcautious or overthinking like I had been before; I just thought about how I could help them and protect the church’s work. By practicing like this, I saw the brothers and sisters making progress in their duties and I was filled with joy. When resolving others’ problems, I could reflect more on myself, and I unwittingly discovered some corrupt dispositions I hadn’t known of before, which made me even more motivated to pursue the truth and resolve my problems. Practicing in this way made me feel closer to God; when I forsook the flesh and practiced the truth more, it made me feel at peace and at ease living like this.

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