By Vicky, USA

I supervise gospel work in the church. Sister Wanda and I act together as team leaders. In the beginning, I could see Wanda was proactive in her duty, and that she was quite effective in her work. I thought she was a responsible person who bore burdens. But after a while, I noticed she was increasingly passive in her duty. She rarely noticed problems in the work, let alone resolved them. In the past when we were summarizing our work, she’d always come to me to summarize problems or deviations in the work, and to discuss ways to solve them. But this time there was just silence. Usually, we shared the bulk of the work in our team, and problems were summarized in a timely manner whenever discovered. This could solve problems better and improve work effectiveness. But now, Wanda wasn’t putting her heart into the group’s problems. I thought, “She isn’t fulfilling her responsibilities as a team leader. This isn’t acceptable, I have to fellowship with her about it.” But on second thought, “My relationship with Wanda is usually pretty good. If I tell her straight out that she is bearing a light burden in her duty and not doing any real work, will it embarrass her? If I disturb the peace by saying this, how will we get along afterward? Forget it. The less trouble, the better. I shouldn’t offend her.” At that time, I constantly felt accused in my mind, “Hasn’t Wanda’s state been bad during this period of time? If this goes on, her life will suffer and it will impact her work. Shouldn’t I hurry up and fellowship with her? But if I just directly point out that she lacks a sense of burden, will she feel constrained and think I’m monitoring her work? Maybe I should just tell the leader and let her help Wanda. Then I won’t need to offend her.” But then I thought, “If I tell the leader and Wanda finds out, will she say I was tattling on her? No, it’s better not to say anything.” I went back and forth like this and I just couldn’t get any reprieve from the matter. I was aware that my state was wrong, and so I prayed to God, asking Him to lead me to seek the truth and fix my problems.

Once during a gathering, I read God’s words: “When you see a problem yet do nothing to stop it, do not fellowship about it, do not try to limit it, and moreover you do not report it to those above you, but play the part of people pleaser, is this a sign of disloyalty? Are people pleasers loyal to God? Not even a little. Such a person is not just disloyal to God—they are acting as Satan’s accomplice, its attendant and follower. They are disloyal in their duty and responsibility, but to Satan, they are quite loyal. Herein lies the essence of the problem. As to professional inadequacy, it is possible to constantly learn and draw together your experiences while performing your duty. Such problems can be easily resolved. The most difficult thing to resolve is man’s corrupt disposition. If you do not pursue the truth or resolve your corrupt disposition, but are always playing the people pleaser, and not pruning or helping those whom you have seen violate the principles, nor exposing or revealing them, but always shrinking back, not taking responsibility, then such performance of duty as yours will only compromise and delay the work of the church” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Proper Fulfillment of Duty Requires Harmonious Cooperation). “People’s conduct and ways of dealing with the world must be based on the words of God; this is the most basic principle for human conduct. How can people practice the truth if they do not understand the principles of human conduct? Practicing the truth is not about saying empty words or shouting slogans. Rather it is about how, no matter what people encounter in life, as long as it involves the principles of human conduct, their perspectives on things, or the matter of performing their duties, they are faced with making a choice, and they should seek the truth, search for a basis and principles in God’s words, and then find a path of practice. Those who can practice in this way are people who pursue the truth. To be able to pursue the truth in this way no matter how great the difficulties one encounters is to walk the path of Peter, the path of pursuing the truth. For example: What principle should be followed when it comes to interacting with others? Perhaps your original viewpoint is that ‘Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance,’ and that you should keep on everyone’s good side, avoid causing others to lose face, and offend no one, thereby achieving good relations with others. Constricted by this viewpoint, you keep silent when you witness others doing bad things or violating the principles. You would rather that the work of the church suffers losses than offend anyone. You seek to stay on everyone’s good side, no matter who they are. You think only about human sentiments and saving face when you speak, and you always speak nice-sounding words to please others. Even if you discover that someone has problems, you choose to tolerate them, and just talk about them behind their back, but to their face you keep the peace and maintain your relationship. What do you think of such conduct? Is it not that of a people pleaser? Is it not pretty slippery? It violates the principles of human conduct. Is it not lowly to conduct yourself in such a manner? Those who act like this are not good people, this is not a noble way to conduct oneself. No matter how much you have suffered, and no matter how many prices you have paid, if you conduct yourself without principles, then you have failed in this respect, and your conduct will not be recognized, remembered, or accepted before God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. To Perform One’s Duty Well, One Must at Least Be Possessed of a Conscience and Reason). God’s words made me recognize that I had been harboring the fallacious view that relationships between people always needed to be peaceful. If I always pointed out and exposed others’ issues, it would offend them and likely hurt both their pride and our relationship, making it harder to get along. By comparing this view with God’s words, I finally saw that it wasn’t in line with the truth, and went against the principles of being a person. People like this are selfish, despicable, slippery, and deceitful. To maintain good relations, they say nothing when they see someone has a problem, and only offer words of flattery and praise. They are insincere in their interactions and do not truly help, but rather, they bring harm upon people. These people are lowlifes in God’s eyes, and He does not approve of them. Just like how I treated Wanda—I saw clearly that she bore no burden in her duty and was not doing real work, but I didn’t practice the truth by calling her out on her problems. I didn’t even have the courage to report her issues. All I considered was how to preserve my relationship with her. I thought that exposing someone’s issues would offend them and hurt their feelings. Even though I saw that it was impacting work, I still wasn’t willing to rebel against the flesh and practice the truth. I was being a deceitful person, a people pleaser. I discovered my sister’s problem but did not expose it. Although I preserved our relationship, it was of no benefit whatsoever to her life entry, and it affected the church’s gospel work, too. By doing this, I was truly harming others and the church’s work.

After this, I pondered what the principles for interacting with people should be. I saw that God’s word says: “You must focus on the truth—only then can you have life entry, and only when you have life entry can you provide for others and lead them. If it is discovered that others’ actions are at odds with the truth, we must lovingly help them to strive for the truth. If others are able to practice the truth, and there are principles to the way they do things, we should try to learn from and emulate them. This is what mutual love is. This is the sort of atmosphere you must have within the church—everyone focusing on the truth and striving to attain it. It does not matter how old or young people are, or whether or not they are veteran believers. Nor does it matter whether they have high or low caliber. These things do not matter. Before the truth, everyone is equal. The things you must look at are who speaks correctly and in conformity with the truth, who thinks of the interests of God’s house, who bears the greatest burden in the work of God’s house, who understands the truth more clearly, who shares a sense of justice, and who is willing to pay the price. Such people should be supported and applauded by their brothers and sisters. This atmosphere of uprightness that comes from pursuing the truth must prevail within the church; in this way, you will have the work of the Holy Spirit, and God will bestow blessings and guidance. If the atmosphere that prevails within the church is one of telling tales, making a fuss about one another, bearing grudges against each other, being jealous of each other, and arguing with each other, then the Holy Spirit will certainly not work in you” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only One Who Performs Their Duty Well With All Their Heart, Mind, and Soul Is One Who Loves God). In the church the truth reigns; brothers and sisters should interact according to the truth principles. Church members should put the truth as their priority when interacting. Anyone who violates principles should be told, pruned and helped lovingly so that they can strive toward the truth. Whoever speaks and acts in accordance with the truth, has a sense of justice and is able to protect the church’s work should be supported and protected. When everyone strives to do their duties according to God’s requirements, fellowships and practices the truth, God’s chosen people’s deviations in carrying out their duties will decrease over time. When I understood these things, my heart lifted, and I had a path to practice. Then I thought about how actually, every true believer in God wants to do their duty well and repay His love. But no one can avoid revealing their corruption and many insufficiencies in the course of their duty. Brothers and sisters must help and correct each other on this. Pointing out and exposing others’ problems isn’t done to embarrass them, or to attack them, rather, it is done to help them realize their problems and reverse their incorrect state as early as possible. Only this is true love, and the expression of mutual love. It is to protect the work of the church. By contrast, when you see others’ problems but keep your lips sealed, carrying out Satan’s philosophy to protect your personal interests, this is being irresponsible toward their life entry and the church’s work. Living this way is too selfish and despicable. I thought about my interactions with Wanda. I saw there were problems in her duty, but didn’t give her any real help because I was only concerned with protecting my image, and gave no thought to her life entry, nor the church’s work. I was truly selfish, base, and had no humanity! At this point I was filled with reproach, and willing to practice God’s words, and treat my sister in accordance with the truth principles.

Later, I went to Wanda and opened up and fellowshipped with her. I told her all the problems I’d seen one-by-one. She was really moved after reading a passage of God’s words, and said her state had been really bad lately and that she even had nothing to say during prayers. I was shocked to hear this and blamed myself. If I had pointed this out and helped her earlier, maybe she could have reversed her incorrect state sooner, and it wouldn’t have impacted her duty. I saw how my not practicing the truth and acting as a people pleaser just to preserve my relationship with my sister was really harming her. So I prayed to God and resolved that in my future interactions with people, I would focus on practicing the truth, and that if I discovered a problem I would point it out and help right away rather than be a people pleaser.

From then on, Wanda was more active in her duty. But after a while, I noticed that her work frequently violated principles. Even if someone was of bad humanity and wasn’t in line with the principles of receiving the gospel, she would still preach the gospel to them, wasting effort. I was confused. Wanda had been preaching the gospel for so long. She should have a better grasp on every aspect of the principles. How could she make such obvious mistakes? Has her state not been reversed yet? Maybe I should remind her. But then I thought, “I already helped her before. I don’t need to constantly correct her. This is so uncomfortable. If I’m always correcting her, will she think I’m an arrogant person, that I’m always nitpicking others’ problems, or that I ask too much of people? That would be bad for my image. I should just leave it alone.” So just like that, I saw that Wanda’s state and condition weren’t right during her duty, but I still turned a blind eye and didn’t point it out or help her. Some time passed, and Wanda was dismissed because she had been perfunctory and ineffective in her duties for a long time. I felt so guilty. I clearly saw there were problems in how she did her duty, but I paid no heed. I turned a blind eye, and did nothing to remind or help her. Now that she had been dismissed, was I not also responsible? I felt tormented and at a loss. Why was I always a people pleaser and incapable of practicing the truth? What was the root of this problem?

As I reflected and sought, I saw that God’s word says: “There is a tenet in philosophies for worldly dealings that says, ‘Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship.’ It means that in order to preserve a friendly relationship, one must keep silent about their friend’s problems, even if they see them clearly—that they should abide by the principles of not striking people in the face or calling out their shortcomings. They are to deceive each other, hide from each other, engage in intrigue with each other; and though they know with crystal clarity what sort of person the other is, they do not say it outright, but employ cunning methods to preserve their friendly relationship. Why would one want to preserve such relationships? It is about not wanting to make enemies in this society, within one’s group, which would mean subjecting oneself often to dangerous situations. Knowing someone will become your enemy and harm you after you have called out their shortcomings or hurt them, and not wishing to put yourself in such a situation, you employ the tenet of philosophies for worldly dealings that runs, ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings.’ In light of this, if two people are in such a relationship, do they count as true friends? (No.) They are not true friends, much less each other’s confidant. So, what sort of relationship is this, exactly? Is it not a fundamental social relationship? (It is.) In such social relationships, people cannot offer their feelings, nor have deep exchanges, nor speak about whatever they wish. They cannot say out loud what is in their heart, or the problems they see in the other, or words that would benefit the other. Instead, they pick nice things to say, to keep the other’s favor. They dare not speak the truth or uphold the principles, lest it give rise to animosity toward them in others. When no one is threatening to someone, does that person not live in relative ease and peace? Is this not people’s goal in promoting the saying, ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings’? (It is.) Clearly, this is a cunning, deceptive way of existence with an element of defensiveness, whose goal is self-preservation. People who live like this have no confidants, no close friends with whom they can say whatever they like. They are defensive with each other, and calculating, and strategic, each taking what they need from the relationship. Is this not so? At its root, the goal of ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings’ is to keep from offending others and making enemies, to protect oneself by not causing hurt to anyone. It is a technique and method one adopts to keep themselves from being hurt” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (8)). “Man’s satanic nature contains a great deal of satanic philosophies and poisons. Sometimes you yourself are not even aware of them, and do not understand them; nevertheless, every moment of your life is based on these things. Moreover, you think that these things are quite correct and reasonable, and not at all mistaken. This suffices to show that Satan’s philosophies have become people’s nature, and that they are living in complete accordance with them, thinking this way of living to be good, and without any sense of repentance at all. Therefore, they are constantly revealing their satanic nature, and they are constantly living by Satan’s philosophies. Satan’s nature is humanity’s life, and it is humanity’s nature essence” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). Through the exposure of God’s word, I understood that the reason I couldn’t help myself from being a people pleaser was because I had been too deeply corrupted by Satan. My heart was full of Satan’s philosophies and laws, like “If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings,” and “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship,” etc. These things had become the code by which I acted and conducted myself. Under the command of these satanic philosophies, I thought that not offending people with my words and actions, maintaining good relationships, and keeping the peace was a wise way to conduct myself. So, even though I saw Wanda was perfunctory in her duty and violated principles, and that it had already impacted work, I was unwilling to expose or correct her. I preferred to let gospel work suffer to maintain my relationships. I was so tightly bound by Satan’s philosophies that I couldn’t practice the truth and didn’t have an ounce of conscience or reason! I saw that God’s word says: “Clearly, this is a cunning, deceptive way of existence with an element of defensiveness, whose goal is self-preservation” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (8)). I was deeply stirred. God’s words hit the nail on the head, and exposed my base intentions when I lived by the satanic philosophies. Before, I’d pompously thought that the reason I didn’t correct my sister was because I was afraid she’d feel constrained. But actually, this was just an excuse for me to not practice the truth. I was afraid that if I corrected her too often, she’d be offended, and think I was an arrogant person who likes to nitpick and who can’t treat people fairly. To give my sister a good impression, I turned a blind eye to her problems, and didn’t fellowship the truth or expose her to help her. Actually, thinking about it, pointing out and exposing the issues of brothers and sisters when I notice them is to help them. This is having a sense of justice and responsibility for their life and the church’s work and it’s not revealing an arrogant disposition, nor is it trying to give them a hard time. But I distortedly thought that pointing out and exposing others’ problems was a sign of arrogance, and treated this positive practice as a revelation of corruption. I really did not know right from wrong and was so absurd! Only then did I realize that I was not sincere in my interactions with others, it was all fake appearances and tricks. I had been so slippery and deceitful! I thought about how when I partnered with Wanda in our duties, I didn’t practice the truth I should have practiced, and didn’t fulfill the responsibility I was supposed to. Now she had been dismissed, and I was left with regret. I had experienced how living according to Satan’s philosophies truly hurt others and myself and how it made my life base and sordid. I didn’t want to live according to them anymore. I wanted to seek the truth and do my duty well.

Later on, I saw that God’s word says: “Be an honest person, or to go into a bit more detail: Be a simple and open person, who does not cover anything up, who does not lie, who does not mince words, and be a direct person who has a sense of justice, who can speak truthfully. People must achieve this first. … God detests deceitful people above all. If you want to be free of Satan’s influence and achieve salvation, then you must accept the truth. You must first start by becoming an honest person. Be frank, tell the truth, do not be constrained by your feelings, cast off your pretense and trickery, and speak and handle matters with principles—this is an easy and happy way to live, and you will be able to live before God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Practicing the Truth Can One Cast Off the Shackles of a Corrupt Disposition). “My kingdom requires those who are honest, those who are not hypocritical or deceitful. Are not the sincere and honest people unpopular in the world? I am just the opposite. It is acceptable for the honest people to come to Me; I delight in this kind of person, and I also need this kind of person. This is precisely My righteousness” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 33). God’s words made me understand that God likes honest people who are pure and upright, people who can be straight-forward and not deceitful in their speech and actions. Only honest people are worthy of entering God’s kingdom. This has been decided by God’s righteous disposition. Thinking about how in the world of unbelievers, every interaction is performative. Only pleasant and flattering words are spoken in front of others, with not a single word of honesty. In the face of evil things which go against conscience and ethics, most people choose to protect themselves, and think it best to avoid stirring the pot. They don’t dare speak even a word of honesty or fairness. They are especially hypocritical and treacherous, and have no integrity or backbone. But when I interacted with brothers and sisters, I too was carrying out these satanic philosophies. When I saw a problem, I didn’t expose it or help. I just protected my relationships with others. Living this way is too slippery and deceitful. It disgusts God and He hates it. At this point, I thought of how God is holy and has a faithful essence. God incarnate is interacting with people in a real way. He is expressing the truth, passing judgment, and exposing people everywhere all the time, in accordance with the corrupt disposition they reveal, and their notions of God. In particular, God’s words of judgment and exposure speak directly to the root and essence of our corruption. Although His words are severe and harsh, they are all to make us know ourselves, repent and change. God’s words are stalwart and unequivocal. They are all words from the heart. God has a particularly honest and reliable heart toward people. If God didn’t clearly point and spell it out for us, if He didn’t expose the truth of how deeply humans have been corrupted by Satan, we would never know ourselves. Instead, we would be living in our own imaginings, thinking we are good. Our corrupt disposition would never change, and we would never achieve salvation. God hopes we can recognize the truth of our corruption through His words of judgment and exposure, and that we can repent to God, live by His words, and seek to be an honest person. This is God’s love toward people. After pondering all this, I felt a great sense of encouragement. I resolved that I was willing to follow God’s demands, and be a pure, upright, and honest person.

Once, our leader, Sister Belinda, was discussing work with us. I realized there was a deviation in the work she assigned, and wanted to point it out to her. But then I thought, “This sister is the leader. If I point out an oversight or deviation in her duty, will she be embarrassed? If she thinks I’m trying to make things difficult for her and she tries to get back at me later, then what? Forget it, I shouldn’t say anything. Everyone makes mistakes.” At this point, I realized that my people-pleaser view was coming to the fore again. So I prayed that God would guide me to practice according to the truth principles. Afterward, I read God’s word that says: “If you have the motivations and perspective of a people pleaser, then, in all matters, you will be incapable of practicing the truth and abiding by principle, and you will always fail and fall down. If you do not awaken and do not ever seek the truth, then you are a disbeliever, and you will never gain the truth and life. What, then, should you do? When faced with such things, you must pray to God and call out to Him, begging for salvation and asking that He give you more faith and strength and enable you to abide by the principles, do what you should do, handle things according to the principles, stand firm in the position you should stand in, protect the interests of God’s house, and prevent any harm from coming to the work of God’s house. If you are able to rebel against your self-interests, your pride, and your standpoint of a people pleaser, and if you do what you should do with an honest, undivided heart, then you will have defeated Satan and gained this aspect of the truth. If you always persist in living by the philosophy of Satan, protecting your relationships with others, never practicing the truth, and not daring to abide by the principles, then will you be able to practice the truth in other matters? You will still have no faith or strength. If you are never able to seek or accept the truth, then will such faith in God allow you to obtain the truth? (No.) And if you cannot obtain the truth, can you be saved? You cannot. If you always live by the philosophy of Satan, utterly devoid of the truth reality, then you can never be saved. It should be clear to you that obtaining the truth is a necessary condition for salvation. How, then, can you obtain the truth? If you are able to practice the truth, if you can live by the truth, and the truth becomes the basis of your life, then you will gain the truth and have life, and so you will be one of those who are saved” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). After reading God’s words, I saw that if people live by satanic philosophies and are always people pleasers, they will never obtain the truth, and will ultimately never achieve salvation. At the same time, I understood that if we want to fix the problem of being a people pleaser, we need to pray a lot and rely on God, ask God for strength, be able to rebel against the flesh, forsake personal interests, and consider the church’s work. By practicing often in this way, we can gradually overcome the bondage of our corrupt disposition. If we are forever unable to practice the truth and are not devoted to our duty, eventually we will be revealed and eliminated. At this thought, I had the courage and motivation to practice the truth. I couldn’t continue to be a people pleaser with no conscience and humanity. So, I brought the issue up with Belinda. After telling her, I felt a sense of great relief. Later on, at a gathering, Belinda fellowshipped about her reflection and gains after being corrected. Hearing about her experiential understanding touched me a lot, and I tasted the sweetness of practicing the truth. Having this experience increased my faith in practicing the truth. When I encountered similar situations after this, though I would still often reveal the views of a people pleaser, the pain and struggle I experienced were less than before. I could consciously rebel against myself and practice the truth. By practicing the truth this way, my heart felt greatly relieved and at peace. It was God’s words that achieved this effect. Thank God!