10. What Hides Behind My Unwillingness to Be a Leader?
In the beginning of May 2024, I was doing dancing duty in the church. One evening, the district leader informed me that I had been elected as a church leader. When I heard this news, my heart raced. I thought to myself, “How could the brothers and sisters choose me as a leader? I don’t have any truth realities, my caliber is poor, and my corrupt disposition is also severe. I’ve failed and stumbled many times in my duties. How could I take on the duty of a leader? Doesn’t doing this duty just mean waiting to be revealed and eliminated? In particular, the hymn and dance work is so important, and with my corrupt disposition, I might one day end up disturbing and disrupting things. Then I might be pruned by the upper leaders or even dismissed. Wouldn’t I then end up utterly ruined and reach the end of the road in my faith?” Just thinking about this made my heart feel heavy. I even suspected whether God would use this duty to eliminate me. I prayed to God, asking Him to keep my heart calm and to help me understand His intention. In praying, I realized that all the things, events, and people I encountered each day were part of God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and not borne of chance. God knows my caliber and stature so well, and in Him allowing this duty to come upon me, there must be truth I should seek and enter into, so I first had to accept and submit, not reject or resist. Otherwise, I would be totally lacking in reason. After praying, though I didn’t shirk the leadership duty anymore, my heart still felt heavy, like a large stone was pressing on it, and I was full of pain and worry.
The next day, during my devotionals, I watched an experiential testimony video, and the words of God quoted in it gripped my heart. God says: “Some people think, ‘Anyone who serves as a leader is foolish and ignorant and is bringing about their own destruction, because when a person serves as a leader, they inevitably reveal corruption before God. Would there be so much corruption revealed if they didn’t do this work?’ What an absurd idea! Do you think that you won’t reveal corruption if you don’t act as a leader? Does not being a leader, even if you reveal less corruption, mean you’ll be saved? Going by this argument, are all those who do not serve as leaders the ones who can survive and be saved? Isn’t this statement too ridiculous? People who serve as leaders guide God’s chosen people to eat and drink the words of God and to experience God’s work. This required standard is elevated, so it is inevitable that leaders will reveal some corrupt states when they first begin training. This is normal, and God does not condemn it. Not only does God not condemn it, but He also enlightens, illuminates, and guides these people, granting them burdens. As long as they can submit to God’s guidance and work, they will progress faster in life than ordinary people. If they pursue the truth, they can embark on the path of being made perfect by God. This is the thing that is most blessed by God. Some people can’t see God’s righteousness, nor can they see that God is fair and righteous to every person, and they even distort the facts. According to their understanding, no matter how much people in leading roles change, God will not look at this, and He will only look at how much corruption leaders and workers reveal, and condemn them based on this alone; and for those who are not leaders and workers, because they reveal little corruption, even if they do not change, God will not condemn them. Is this not absurd? Is this not blasphemy against God? If you resist God so seriously in your heart, can you be saved? You cannot. God determines people’s outcomes mainly based on whether they have the truth and true testimony, and it mainly depends on whether they pursue the truth. If someone pursues the truth, even when they transgress and face judgment and chastisement, they can truly repent. As long as they do not speak or act in ways that blaspheme God, they can certainly attain salvation. According to your imaginings, all ordinary believers who follow God to the end can attain salvation, while those who serve as leaders will all be eliminated. If you were asked to be a leader, you’d think that it wouldn’t be okay to not do it, but that if you were to serve as a leader, you’d constantly be revealing corruption in spite of yourselves, and the longer you served, the more corruption you’d reveal, until in the end you were condemned and eliminated by God. You’d feel as if you’re just waiting at the gallows. Is this not entirely caused by your misunderstandings of God? If people’s outcomes were determined by the corruption they reveal, no one could be saved. In that case, what would be the point of God doing the work of salvation? If this truly were the case, where would the righteousness of God be? People would be unable to see God’s righteous disposition. Therefore, you have all misunderstood God’s intentions, which shows that you do not have true knowledge of God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words pinpointed the truth of my situation, and I finally realized that there were notions, imaginings, and misunderstandings about God hidden in my heart. I thought that not being a leader in God’s house would result in fewer revelations of corruption, and that I’d be pruned less by the upper leaders, and so in this way, believing in God would be safer, and my hope of salvation would be greater. But doing the duty of a leader involves many truth principles, the responsibility is heavier, and without truth realities, it’s inevitable that I’ll reveal corruption, and I’ll be prone to do things that disrupt and disturb the work of God’s house and be revealed and eliminated. I saw that God said these notions were misunderstandings of and even blasphemy against Him. I was shocked and a bit afraid. I’d not realized how serious the nature of these notions was. I began to reflect on how exactly this view was absurd. I saw that some leaders made mistakes, seriously disturbed and disrupted the church’s work, and were dismissed or even cleared out or expelled. So I thought being a leader was too dangerous, and that once you made a mistake, you’d be dismissed or eliminated. But I never sought the principles of God’s house for dismissing people. In reality, the dismissal of a leader in God’s house isn’t based on their momentary behavior or performance in a single incident, but rather on their consistent pursuit and the path they follow. I thought about a leader and two supervisors in the church who’d been dismissed. Though it seemed they were dismissed for failing a specific task and for violating principles and disrupting and delaying the work, in reality, it was because they normally didn’t focus on pursuing the truth, went without seeking principles in their duties and acted arbitrarily for a long time, and as a result they disturbed and disrupted the church’s work yet didn’t repent. That’s why they were dismissed. I’d never looked into the root cause of their failure. I’d seen that they’d made a single mistake and were dismissed, and I then began to misunderstand and be guarded against God. Was this not utterly distorted? Moreover, in my notions, I thought that if someone reveals corruption, transgresses, or is revealed in and dismissed from their duties, then they would be eternally condemned by God, with no hope of salvation. This was also a mistaken understanding of mine. In reality, when I thought in detail about my own and many brothers’ and sisters’ experiences, and about how we were exposed, revealed, and condemned for revealing corrupt dispositions, or even dismissed, I knew these were necessary steps in experiencing God’s judgment and chastisement. However, God hadn’t abandoned us because of this, but rather given us opportunities for repentance and transformation. He used His words to enlighten and guide us, allowing our thoughts and views to gradually change, and enabling us to gradually cast off our corrupt dispositions. These gains were made through experiencing failure and revelation. I saw that being revealed in one’s duties isn’t being eliminated, but rather a chance to gain the truth. But by nature I didn’t love the truth or want to suffer, I was unwilling to accept God’s judgment and chastisement, and I just wanted to live in peace as an ordinary believer. I thought that in this way, I would avoid big failures and revelations and escape suffering or refinement, and I could thus be saved. But I didn’t realize that without experiencing judgment and chastisement, one’s corrupt disposition cannot be cast off, and their perspectives, actions, and deeds will all remain in opposition to the truth. In this case, how can such a person be saved? I realized I didn’t understand the truth or know God’s righteous disposition, and that I was living in my notions and imaginings. My views were utterly absurd and erroneous. God determines the outcome of a person not based on how much corruption they have revealed or how many transgressions they’ve committed, but whether they pursue the truth and truly repent. If a person reveals corruption and then pursues the truth and achieves real repentance, then God still gives them the opportunity to be saved. But I was worried about my past transgressions in my duties, and now, I was still revealing a lot of corruption because I didn’t understand the truth. So I was afraid that if I wasn’t careful in my duty as a leader, problems would arise, and I’d then be detested and eliminated by God. I truly judged God’s righteousness with my own narrow and small-minded views!
I read another passage of God’s words that exposes people’s fear of taking responsibility. Almighty God says: “Some people are afraid of taking responsibility while performing their duty. If the church gives them a job to do, they will first consider whether the job requires them to take responsibility, and if it does, they will not accept the job. Their conditions for performing a duty are, first, that it must be a leisurely job; second, that it is not busy or tiring; and third, that no matter what they do, they do not take any responsibility. This is the only kind of duty they take on. What sort of a person is this? Is this not a slippery, deceitful person? They do not want to shoulder even the smallest amount of responsibility. They even fear that leaves will break their skull when they fall from trees. What duty can a person like this perform? What use could they have in the house of God? The work of the house of God has to do with the work of battling Satan, as well as spreading the gospel of the kingdom. What duty does not entail responsibilities? Would you say that being a leader carries responsibility? Are their responsibilities not all the greater, and must they not take responsibility all the more? Regardless of whether you preach the gospel, testify, make videos, and so on—no matter what work you do—so long as it pertains to the truth principles, it carries with it responsibilities. If the performance of your duty is unprincipled, it will affect the work of God’s house, and if you are afraid of taking responsibility, then you cannot perform any duty. Is the kind of person who fears taking responsibility in performing their duty cowardly, or is there a problem with their disposition? You must be able to tell the difference. In reality, this is not an issue of cowardice. How come they are so bold when it comes to getting rich, or when they are doing something for their own benefit? They will take on any risk for these things. But when they do things for the church, for God’s house, they take on no risks at all. Such people are selfish and despicable, the most treacherous of all. Anyone who does not take responsibility in performing a duty is not the least bit sincere to God, to say nothing of their loyalty. What sort of person dares to take responsibility? What sort of person has the courage to take on a heavy burden? Someone who takes the lead and charges ahead bravely at the most crucial moment in the work of God’s house, who bravely takes on a heavy burden and is not afraid to endure difficulties and danger when they see the work that is most important and crucial. That is someone loyal to God, a good soldier of Christ. Is it the case that everyone who fears taking responsibility in their duty does so because they do not understand the truth? No; there is a problem with their humanity. They have no sense of justice or responsibility, they are selfish and despicable people, they are not sincere believers in God, and they do not accept the truth in the slightest. For this reason alone, they cannot be saved” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). Seeing the exposure of God’s words, I felt intense distress in my heart. I realized my fear of being a leader came from my being controlled by a selfish and deceitful disposition. I followed the principle of “Never take the short end of the stick”—I wanted to receive blessings from God but not take on big risks. In essence, this was the behavior of a slippery and deceitful person. I felt that dancing not only aligned with my personal interests and hobbies, but my performance of this duty also yielded results. I wasn’t the main supervisor, and I didn’t carry major responsibilities, and so in this way, I felt I could securely do my duties in the church and thus have hope of being saved. After being chosen as a leader, I felt that I had been thrust into the eye of the storm, constantly at risk of capsizing, so I just wanted to flee from and refuse this duty. In my notions, I thought that doing a low-profile duty and not standing out or taking on big responsibilities was the safest option, and that so long as I followed to the end, I would have hope of salvation. But God says that this kind of person is afraid of taking responsibility, has a problem with their humanity and doesn’t truly believe in Him, and that this alone means they cannot be saved. I finally saw that my notions and imaginings were in conflict with the truth. I started to ponder, “Why does God say that those who avoid responsibility are people whose humanity is bad and who don’t accept the truth at all?” In doing my duties in God’s house, I’ve always adhered to the principle of “Never take the short end of the stick.” In everything I did and in every duty I faced, I’d first measure whether something benefited me, and if it did, I’d do it, but if not, I wouldn’t want to do it. Even if I knew it involved the work and the interests of God’s house, I remained unwilling to bear the burden. In what way was I of one heart with God? Was this not the behavior of a selfish and despicable person? Today, God provides everything for people for free, giving them the truth without charge, hoping that people can practice the truth and use a sincere heart to fulfill their duties as created beings. Yet I’d believed in God for many years, enjoying so much of His provision, but I’d never known to repay Him at all. Instead, I’d been guarded against God, calculating against Him, and only considering and planning for my own future and gains or losses. In what way did I truly believe in God? Was I not just a selfish, slippery disbeliever? With such a mindset and with such views toward faith, how could God not loathe me? So, I prayed, “God, I see that I am truly deceitful and wicked. I don’t want to live in my own notions, imaginings, misunderstandings, and suspicions. I am willing to give my heart to You and to rely on my conscience to shoulder my responsibility. Please help and guide me.”
I then saw two more passages from God’s words quoted in another experiential testimony video, and I found a path of practice. God says: “What are the manifestations of an honest person? Firstly, having no doubts about God’s words. That is one of the manifestations of an honest person. Apart from this, the most important manifestation is seeking and practicing the truth in all matters—this is most crucial. You say that you are honest, but you always push God’s words to the back of your mind and just do whatever you want. Is that the manifestation of an honest person? You say, ‘Although my caliber is poor, I have an honest heart.’ And yet when a duty falls to you, you are afraid of suffering and bearing responsibility if you do not do it well, so you make excuses to shirk your duty or suggest that someone else do it. Is this the manifestation of an honest person? Clearly, it is not. How, then, should an honest person behave? They should submit to God’s arrangements, be devoted to the duty they are supposed to perform, and strive to satisfy God’s intentions” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “Whether your caliber is high or low, and whether or not you understand the truth, in any case, you must have this attitude: ‘Since this work was given to me to do, I must treat it seriously, I must make it my concern, and I must use all my heart and strength to do it well. As for whether I can do it perfectly well, I can’t presume to offer a guarantee, but my attitude is that I’ll do my best to perform it well, and I certainly won’t be perfunctory about it. If a problem arises in work, I should take responsibility then, and ensure I draw a lesson from it and do my duty well.’ This is the right attitude” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). After reading these two passages of God’s words, I felt that God truly scrutinizes the innermost human heart and understands people’s needs so well. When I heard that I’d been chosen as a leader, two excuses quickly sprang to mind, “I have poor caliber, and as a leader, every day I’ll face many people, events, and things, and I’ll also have a lot of issues to deal with. I definitely won’t be able to handle this. Secondly, I don’t understand the truth and can’t see through matters, so in what way am I qualified to lead the brothers and sisters?” At first, I felt my thinking was quite justified, and that it showed self-awareness, but then I read God’s words: “Whether your caliber is high or low, and whether or not you understand the truth, in any case, you must have this attitude: ‘Since this work was given to me to do, I must treat it seriously, I must make it my concern, and I must use all my heart and strength to do it well. …’ This is the right attitude.” After reading this, I found myself suddenly speechless. These two excuses had seemed quite valid to me, but God doesn’t see them as excuses or difficulties, and that much less should they keep me from accepting my duty. I felt as if God were warning me face-to-face, heart-to-heart. God doesn’t look at what my caliber is like or how many truths I understand. He requires that we be diligent and responsible in our duties, and that we put all our heart and strength into doing our duties well. My heart was deeply moved, and I felt that I no longer had any excuse to flee from or refuse my duty. Although the duty of a leader would be difficult for me, I was willing to be honest according to God’s words, and to start by accepting and submitting.
After that, I began to work in cooperation with my sister, and I was mainly responsible for the dance team’s work, while the other tasks, such as hymns, filming, and general affairs work, were mainly handled by her. At that time, a dance group I was responsible for hadn’t produced any programs for two months. At first, I was a bit nervous, afraid I couldn’t handle the work. I kept praying and calling out to God, asking Him to give me the faith and the resolve to submit so I could take up my duty. In my prayers, I remembered two phrases from God’s words I had read earlier: One was “positive and proactive” and the other was “to the best of one’s abilities.” I realized that this was God’s enlightenment and guidance, and that I should take a positive and proactive attitude toward my duty. As my caliber was poor, I didn’t understand the truth, and I couldn’t find or solve many problems, this meant I had to rely more on God to seek the truth, and that I should first do what I could think of and what I was capable of doing to the best of my abilities. After that, I entrusted my state and difficulties to God each day, and with a sense of burden, I focused on the states of the sisters in the group. When I found problems, I would find relevant principles to fellowship and enter together with them, and when they encountered difficulties in the program arrangements, I would fellowship God’s intentions with them and try to explore solutions according to principles. Little by little, the program progressed. Every day felt fulfilling and grounded. My heart was gradually drawing closer to God, and the misunderstandings and barriers between God and me were greatly reduced. The feeling of having a weight on my heart slowly disappeared. The dance group also produced a program within a month, which was uploaded online, and it was well received by the leaders. I was so grateful to God.
But unexpectedly, about three months later, my sister was dismissed because she blindly followed the wrong arrangements of a false leader. This caused the hymn recording work to be suspended for a few days, seriously disrupting and obstructing the work. Moreover, the upper leaders found that her poor caliber made her unable to do real work. When I heard about this, my heart started racing again, and I thought, “It’s over, with my sister dismissed, I’ll have to shoulder all the work in the church. My caliber and work capabilities aren’t good enough! I had heard about the issues my sister encountered in her duty, but I didn’t see these mistakes of hers. If I’d been in her place, I would’ve delayed the work as well, and today, I’d have been the one getting dismissed. With my caliber and ability to view things, isn’t it just a matter of time before I get dismissed from this duty? I might as well resign and retreat unscathed as soon as I can before I commit great evil.” But when I thought this way, I felt guilty, “I always wanted to resign; this shows that I lacked submission to God and loyalty to my duty! If I resigned and gave up my duty, wouldn’t the work be delayed? If I resigned, I’d be easing my own burden, but I’d be irresponsible toward the work of God’s house.” After thinking these things, I didn’t dare to resign. I prayed to God, asking Him to protect my heart, enlighten and guide me to understand the truth and submit.
The situation God set up was quite miraculous. That evening, we received a letter forwarded from China. The letter mentioned that in China, the great red dragon was frantically arresting those who believed in God, and that brothers and sisters could only do their duties by going into hiding, and that they had to often change host homes. The letter also encouraged the brothers and sisters who had gone abroad to cherish the opportunity they had to do their duties, and to fulfill their duties. The letter also quoted a passage of God’s words. God says: “Blessings cannot be obtained in a day or two; they must be earned at a great price. Which is to say, you must possess a love that has undergone refinement, you must possess great faith, and you must have the many truths that God requires you to attain; what is more, you must be able to turn toward justice, without being cowed or shrinking back, and must have a God-loving heart that is constant unto death. You must have resolve, your life disposition must change, your corruption must be healed, you must accept all of God’s orchestrations without complaint, and even be able to submit unto death. This is what you ought to attain, this is the final aim of God’s work, and it is what God requires of this group of people” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Is the Work of God As Simple As Man Imagines?). After reading the letter, I felt deeply ashamed. Brothers and sisters in China are risking their lives and still holding fast to their duties, and they even wrote to encourage the brothers and sisters abroad to do their duties properly. But what about me? I’d been spared the great red dragon’s arrests and persecution and could do my duty in a comfortable environment, but when I faced just a little difficulty and pressure in my duty, I wanted to flee from it and give it up. Didn’t this make me a coward? Where was my backbone? Where was my testimony? God said that to believe in and follow God, one must experience refinement and have the resolve to suffer, and more importantly, one must pursue the truth, undergo a change in life disposition, and accept and submit to all of God’s orchestrations. I felt that God was making demands of me with every word. These were the truths I should be practicing and entering at this point, and if I resigned, I wouldn’t be practicing any of these truths. Wouldn’t this disappoint and disgust God? The next day, a dance group leader wanted to resign because she couldn’t cooperate harmoniously with the others. When fellowshipping with her, I opened up about my own weaknesses and difficulties, and by reading God’s words, my heart was gradually moved. I realized that duties are God’s commission, and that they’re unshirkable responsibilities. No matter how painful or hard things got, I couldn’t reject my duty or hurt God’s heart.
After that, I read a passage of God’s words that really resonated with my state and helped me a lot. God says: “People must approach their duties and God with honest hearts. Those who fear God should be able to do this. What kind of attitude do people with honest hearts have toward God? At the very least, they have God-fearing hearts. They have hearts of submission to God in all things; that is, they do not ask about blessings or calamities, they do not put forward conditions, and they leave themselves at the mercy of God’s orchestration. These are people with honest hearts. Those who are always doubting God, always scrutinizing Him, always trying to strike a deal with Him—are they people with honest hearts? (No.) What resides within the hearts of such people? Deceitfulness and wickedness; they are always scrutinizing. And what is it they scrutinize? (God’s attitude toward people.) They are always scrutinizing God’s attitude toward people. What problem is this? And why do they scrutinize this? Because it involves their vital interests. … Anyone who places particular importance on their own prospects, fate, and interests always scrutinizes whether God’s work is beneficial to their prospects, to their fate, and to them obtaining blessings. In the end, what is the consequence of all their scrutiny? It can only be that, since God’s work doesn’t accord with their notions, they often complain about God, rebel against God, and oppose God. Even if they can still persist in performing their duty, they do so perfunctorily and with negativity; in their hearts, they keep thinking about how to take advantage and not suffer any loss. Performing one’s duty with such intentions amounts to trying to make deals with God. What disposition does this indicate? It is deceitfulness, it is a wicked disposition. This is not an ordinary corrupt disposition—it has escalated to wickedness. Harboring this kind of wicked disposition in one’s heart is fighting against God! You should see through this problem. If someone is always scrutinizing God and performing their duty with a transactional mindset, will they be able to fulfill their duty? Absolutely not. They do not worship God with their heart and with honesty, and they don’t treat their duty honestly. As they perform their duty, they just watch and observe, always holding back. What is the consequence of this? God does not work in them—they are muddleheaded and confused, they don’t understand what the truth principles are, and they always act according to their own will, constantly making mistakes. Why do they constantly make mistakes? Because their mind is too muddled; when problems arise, they do not reflect on themselves or seek the truth to resolve them, but persist in acting according to their own will and their own preferences. As a result, they constantly make mistakes when performing their duty. They don’t think of the work of the church, or the interests of God’s house. They always scheme for their own sake, always making plans for the sake of their own interests, pride, and status. Not only do they fail to perform their duty well, they also affect and delay the work of the church. Isn’t this taking the wrong path and neglecting their proper tasks? If, in performing their duty, someone is always making plans for the sake of their own interests and prospects, and gives no consideration whatsoever to the work of the church or the interests of God’s house, this is not the performance of a duty. This is plotting for personal gain, doing things to secure benefits and obtain blessings for themselves. When the performance of a duty is like this, its nature changes: It becomes an attempt to make deals with God, to use the performance of duty to achieve one’s personal goals. This way of doing things is all too likely to disturb the work of God’s house” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Seeking the Truth Principles Can One Perform One’s Duty Well). God says that “they do not ask about blessings or calamities, they do not put forward conditions, and they leave themselves at the mercy of God’s orchestration. These are people with honest hearts.” These words really struck my heart. God asks that people not consider blessings or misfortunes, but I placed too much importance on whether I would be blessed or suffer misfortunes. I was terrified that while doing the duty of a leader, I might do something evil that would disturb and disrupt the work, leaving stains and transgressions in my wake, and be condemned and eliminated by God, and that in the end, not only would I fail to be saved, but I’d fall victim to misfortune. I felt this very strongly when I found out that two of the previous three district leaders had been acting willfully and not seeking truth principles in their duties, thereby seriously disturbing and disrupting the work of God’s house and causing them to be dismissed. Now that my sister was also dismissed, I felt that if one didn’t understand the truth and didn’t have a God-fearing heart, then doing the duty of a leader was precarious, and that one could easily be revealed and eliminated, and that it was uncertain what one’s future outcome or destination would be. I wanted to secure my future and destination, so I planned to resign before making any mistakes and retreat unscathed. God exposes that this is actually a struggle against Him through a deceitful and wicked disposition! Only then did I realize that always planning for my own interests and future, without any regard for the church’s work or the interests of God’s house, is not doing my duty. It’s trying to outwit God and going against Him. By doing my duty with such a mindset and state, even if I didn’t serve as a leader and didn’t make serious mistakes, my heart was calculating against and opposing God. This is an act of evil, and it is detested and condemned by God. God showed me a very clear path, namely, to be a person with an honest heart, to not ask about blessings or misfortunes, to not speak about conditions, and to leave myself at the mercy of God’s orchestration. Since God’s house hadn’t dismissed or eliminated me, I had to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and steadfastly uphold my duty, doing my utmost to shoulder the responsibilities I should.
The next day, I wrote a letter to the upper leaders, but I didn’t mention resigning. Instead, I acknowledged the responsibility I should bear for the delay in the hymn work, and confessed it to the leaders, saying that I was willing to submit to the arrangements of God’s house. After writing the letter, I felt calm and at ease, willing to accept God’s orchestration. If the upper leaders pruned or dismissed me, I would face it calmly and take responsibility. If I wasn’t dismissed, I would hold to my duty and fulfill my responsibilities. To my surprise, the upper leaders didn’t dismiss me after reading the letter, and let me continue training in my duty. Through experiencing this, I feel I’ve come to understand more of God’s righteous disposition, and I’ve come to realize that what God values is whether a person’s heart can accept the truth, and whether they can be simple and honest toward Him, without considering or planning for their own interests or future, but instead thinking of the work of God’s house. God does not remember people’s foolish and ignorant actions but will instead give them the chance to do their duties and make up for their shortcomings. A while later, the church still hadn’t elected a new leader, so I prayed and relied on God to follow up on the church’s work. Whenever there were problems, I cooperated with brothers and sisters to resolve them. I found that when I was willing to actively take responsibility and put more concern and thought into the work, my sense of burden and responsibility for the church’s work, along with my ability to view things and my work capabilities, all unknowingly improved. It was as if I’d become smarter than before. Doing the work wasn’t as hard as I’d imagined, and I knew that these results were achieved through the Holy Spirit’s work. I truly experienced that God protects His work, and that man simply cooperates. God doesn’t place burdens on people that are too great for them to bear, and my faith in God grew. Later, the church elected a new leader, and I cooperated with her in following up on the church’s work.
By doing the duty of a leader these past few months, I’ve felt God’s kindness and loveliness, and I’ve let go of some of my notions, imaginings, misunderstandings, and guardedness toward God. Even more so, I’ve experienced that God giving me the chance to do the duty of a leader wasn’t to make things difficult for me or reveal me, but to amend my incorrect views on faith and cleanse my corrupt disposition. It was to impel me to be more considerate and think more about how to safeguard the interests of God’s house and about how to do things in a way that benefits the work and the brothers and sisters. Moreover, regarding the incorrect states of the brothers and sisters and their professional difficulties and problems, I sought truth principles, trained in solving issues with the truth, and unknowingly, my insight and stature grew somewhat. I felt that my training to be a leader was truly God perfecting me, and that it was God’s love. Thinking back to when I first started doing this duty, I felt really timid and fearful. I even misunderstood God, thinking He was using this duty to eliminate me. I truly couldn’t tell right from wrong, or black from white! I was completely unreasonable! Now I’m no longer afraid to be a leader. No matter what I may experience or face going forward, I will just focus on seeking and practicing the truth and fulfilling the duty I ought to do. This bit of transformation and entry I achieved was all the result of the guidance of God’s words. Thank God!