By Lin Sen, China

Growing up, the men were always in charge in my family, and my dad had the final say in everything. He never did any housework; things like cooking, laundry, and cleaning were my mom’s and my sister’s job. He often taught me and my brothers that “Men should work outside the home and women should handle domestic work,” and that farming and earning money were a man’s job, while cooking and doing laundry were chores for women. Through my dad’s words and actions, my older brothers all became the heads of their households after getting married and never did any housework. I wanted to be just like them, as I felt that was the only way to have the proper demeanor and dignity of a man. After I got married, my wife was a very virtuous and capable homemaker who took on all the household chores. Sometimes during meals, she would even serve my food right to me. This made me feel even more strongly that as a man, I shouldn’t do chores like washing, mending, or taking care of the children. That was all women’s work. If I did it, it would be humiliating and beneath me. Later, after my wife gave birth, I’d come home from work and see her struggling to cook and do housework while holding the baby. I wanted to help her, but then I’d think about how humiliating it would be if people found out a grown man like me was doing that kind of work. So I would just go out to play cards, instead of helping my wife with the chores. After accepting God’s work of the last days, I really enjoyed reading God’s words. From His words, I came to realize that to believe in God, I had to practice the truth in all things and live out normal humanity. I couldn’t just let others wait on me—that would be really unreasonable. From then on, I started to help my wife with some of the housework, learning to cook, wash vegetables, and clean.

One day in January 2023, the leader said that a host home was facing some security risks and that the young sisters staying there needed to be moved out immediately. He asked me to host them temporarily, and said they would move out after the New Year once a suitable host home was found. I thought to myself, “I’m a brother. Spending all day around the kitchen stove—how degrading and awkward that would be! Why did the leader arrange for me to do hosting? Isn’t he just trying to make things difficult for me?” But then I thought, “I’ve believed in God for many years. If I refuse this duty, won’t the leader say I’m not someone who pursues the truth? Besides, my home is quite suitable for hosting. And although my wife has been cleared out from the church, she supports me in doing my duty, and my two kids don’t object either. It would be perfect for the young sisters to spend the New Year at my place. What’s more, the leader only asked me to host them temporarily. They’ll move out as soon as a suitable host home is found.” Thinking of this, I agreed. But when it was time to host, that mindset of “Men should work outside the home and women should handle domestic work” surfaced again. Because my wife worked at a breakfast shop, I was the one who cooked breakfast and lunch at home every day. My wife reminded me many times, “You should put on an apron and oversleeves when you cook, otherwise your clothes will get dirty and be hard to wash.” I’d agree verbally, but I never once did it. I thought, “She wants me to wear oversleeves and an apron? What would I look like? I’d look like an old housewife! If the sisters saw me like that, how embarrassing would that be? Cooking and washing are chores that sisters are supposed to do, not brothers. If the brothers and sisters found out I was doing hosting, they would definitely look down on me. I can’t believe that I, a brother who does text-based work, have now become a professional cook!” After some time, the leader arranged for another young sister to move into my home, and the sisters seemed to have no plans to move out at all. I thought to myself, “Didn’t they say they’d move out after the New Year? Why are more people being added to my house? This daily cooking is so demeaning. When is this ever going to end?” I felt stifled by negativity, and I stopped putting my heart into cooking and started being perfunctory. The rice I steamed was either too hard or too soft, and the dishes I stir-fried were either too salty or completely bland. But I didn’t reflect on myself at all; I even felt that just managing to get the food on the table was good enough. Later, they started giving me feedback, saying the noodles I cooked were underdone and the salt crystals in the cold dishes hadn’t dissolved. Hearing this made me feel even worse. “It’s degrading enough for a grown man like me to be cooking for you all day, and now you’re finding fault with everything? This is unbearable!” In my heart, I just wished they would move out sooner. Later, I realized my state was wrong, so I prayed for God to guide me in understanding my own problems.

At that time, I heard a hymn of God’s words:

The Original Mankind Were Living Beings With Spirit

1  In the beginning, I created mankind; that is, I created mankind’s ancestor, Adam. He was endowed with form and image, brimming with vigor, brimming with vitality, and was, furthermore, in the company of My glory. That was the glorious day when I created man. After that, Eve was produced from the body of Adam, and she too was the ancestor of man, and so the people that I created were filled with My breath and brimming with My glory.

2  Adam was originally born from My hand and was the representation of My image. Thus the original meaning of “Adam” was a being created by Me, imbued with My vital energy, imbued with My glory, having form and image, having spirit and breath. He was the only created being, possessed of a spirit, who was capable of representing Me, of bearing My image, and receiving My breath.

3  In the beginning, Eve was the second human endowed with breath whose creation I had ordained, so the original meaning of “Eve” was a created being who would continue My glory, filled with My vitality and furthermore endowed with My glory. Eve came from Adam, so she also bore My image, for she was the second human to be created in My image. The original meaning of “Eve” was a living human, with spirit, flesh, and bone, My second testimony as well as My second image among mankind. They were mankind’s ancestors, man’s pure and precious treasure, and, from the first, living beings endowed with spirit.

—The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. What It Means to Be a Real Person

As I pondered the lyrics, I realized that when God first created mankind—Adam and Eve—He never said that men were nobler than women or that women had a lower status than men. In God’s eyes, men and women are equal. It’s the same in God’s house. No matter what duty one performs, God has never said that certain duties must be done by brothers and others only by sisters. But I had been taught by my father’s words and actions since I was young, and I lived by chauvinistic ideas. I always belittled women and looked down on tasks like cooking and washing, thinking they were all chores for women. That’s why I was so resistant to my hosting duty, and even when I did it, I was just being perfunctory. Everything I thought and did was not in accordance with God’s intentions. Realizing this, I was willing to submit and diligently fulfill my hosting duty. After that, when I cooked noodles, I’d boil them a little longer, and I’d marinate the cold dishes in advance. I also started to think about varying the dishes I made. When I saw some of the young sisters were sick and coughing, I made them a pear-and-rock-sugar drink. Just as I was starting to change, the young sisters moved out.

After they left, I often pondered, “Why did I reveal so much resistance during my time hosting?” Later, I read God’s words that exposed the issue of chauvinism, and I gained some understanding of myself. Almighty God says: “Many people think, ‘Washing and mending are all women’s work. Let women handle them. I feel exasperated when I have to do these tasks; I feel like less of a man.’ … Men have these chauvinistic thoughts, and they look down upon certain tasks like taking care of children, tidying up the house, doing the washing, and cleaning. Some have strong chauvinistic tendencies, and disdain these chores, are unwilling to do them, or if they do them, they do so begrudgingly, fearing that others may think less of them. They think, ‘If I’m always doing these chores, won’t I become effeminate?’ What thought and viewpoint is this governed by? Isn’t there a problem with their thought? (Yes, there is.) Their thought is problematic. … In certain regions where chauvinism is particularly strong, they are undeniably spoiled by family conditioning and influence. Has this conditioning saved them or harmed them? (It has harmed them.) It has been detrimental to them” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (14)). “For example, you are a brother, and if you were asked to make meals and wash the dishes for the other brothers and sisters every day, would you submit? (I think so.) Perhaps you could in the short term, but if you are asked to do this duty long term would you submit? (I could submit on occasion, but as time went on I might not be able to.) This means that you have not submitted. What is causing people to not submit? (It’s because people have traditional notions in their hearts. They think men should work outside the home, and women should handle domestic work, that cooking is a woman’s job and a man loses face by cooking. That’s why it’s not easy to submit.) That’s right. There is sexual discrimination when it comes to the division of labor. Men think, ‘We men should be out there making a living. Things like cooking and washing should be done by women. We shouldn’t be made to do it.’ But now these are special circumstances, and you are being asked to do it, so what do you do? What hang-ups must you get over before you can submit? This is the crux of the issue. You must get over your sexual discrimination. There is no work that must be done by men, and no work that must be done by women. Do not divide up labor this way. The duty people perform should not be determined according to their sex” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only in the Practice of the Truth Is There Life Entry). God’s words precisely exposed my state. I thought about how, influenced by my father’s words and actions and my family’s upbringing since childhood, I had always believed that “Men are superior to women” and “Men should work outside the home and women should handle domestic work.” I thought housework like laundry, cooking, and cleaning were all things women did, while men just needed to farm or work to earn money. I believed a man’s status was higher than a woman’s, so their wives should naturally wait on them, and that if a man did housework, it was degrading and they’d be looked down on. Therefore, before I believed in God, I never did any housework. When I saw my wife rushing about, doing chores while holding our child, I felt bad and wanted to help, but then I’d remember that a grown man like me should have a certain demeanor and dignity of a real man to uphold. I thought about how much face I’d lose if others saw me doing women’s work, so I would go out to play cards and have fun instead of helping her with the chores. All those years, my wife had been suffering in silence, living an exhausting and bitter life. Most importantly, because I was so influenced by chauvinistic ideas, I couldn’t submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements. When the leader arranged for me to temporarily host the sisters, I saw housework as a woman’s job and felt it was humiliating and beneath me, as a brother, to be doing a hosting duty. To protect my masculine image, I didn’t even dare to wear an apron or oversleeves when I cooked, afraid the sisters would look down on me. Because of my inner resistance, I was perfunctory in my duty; I couldn’t even cook the noodles properly, and the salt in the cold dishes didn’t dissolve. When the sisters gave me suggestions, I thought they were being too demanding and just wished they would move out as soon as possible. I saw that by living according to these traditional cultural ideas, in order to protect my so-called masculine dignity and status, I had become incredibly selfish and cold, devoid of any normal humanity. I had not the slightest submission or devotion toward my duty. Realizing this, I prayed, asking God to guide me to understand the truth and break free from the bondage and constraints of my chauvinistic ideas.

Afterward, I read a passage of God’s words and found a path of practice. Almighty God says: “Should the social responsibilities of men and women be differentiated? Should men and women have equal social status? Is it fair to unduly elevate the status of men and play down women? (No, it is unfair.) So, how exactly should the social status of men and women be treated in a way that is fair and reasonable? What is the principle for this? (That men and women are equal and should be treated fairly.) Fair treatment is the theoretical basis, but how should it be put into practice in a way that reflects fairness and reasonableness? Does this not have something to do with practical problems? First of all, we must determine that the status of men and women is equal—this is indisputable. Therefore, the social division of labor between men and women should also be equal, and should be considered and arranged according to their caliber and work capability. There should be equality particularly when it comes to human rights, insofar as women should also enjoy that which men can enjoy, in order to ensure equal status between men and women in society. Whoever can do the job, or whoever is competent to be the leader should be allowed to do it, regardless of whether they are a man or woman. What do you think of this principle? (Good.) This reflects equality between men and women. For example, if there are two men and two women applying for a job as a firefighter, who should be hired? Fair treatment is the theoretical basis and the principle. How, then, should one actually go about it? As I said just now, let whoever is up to the job do it, according to their ability and caliber. Just make a selection according to this principle, by seeing who among these candidates is physically fit and not clumsy. Firefighting is all about acting quickly in an emergency. If you are too clumsy, dull-witted, and sluggish, like a tortoise or an old cow, you will delay things. After ascertaining each candidate’s characteristics, in terms of their caliber, abilities, experience, degree of competence in firefighting work, and so on, the conclusion arrived at is that one man and one woman are quite suitable: The man is tall, physically strong, has firefighting experience, and has participated in several firefighting and rescue operations; the woman is agile, has undergone rigorous training, is knowledgeable about firefighting and related work procedures, has caliber, and has distinguished herself in other jobs and received awards. So, in the end, both of them are chosen. Is that right? (Yes.) This is called choosing the best of the best, without showing favor to anyone. … First and foremost, when handling a matter, you have no prejudice against men or women. You believe that there are many outstanding and talented women, and you know quite a few such individuals. Therefore, your insight convinces you that women’s work capability is not inferior to that of men, and that the value women bring to bear in society is no less than that of men. Once you have this insight and understanding, you will make accurate judgments and choices based on this fact whenever you act in future. In other words, if you don’t show favor to anyone, and don’t have any gender bias, then your humanity will be relatively normal in this respect, and you can act fairly. The prohibitions of traditional culture, in the sense that men are regarded as superior to women, will be lifted, your thoughts will no longer be confined, and you will no longer be influenced by this aspect of traditional culture” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (11)). After reading God’s words, I felt a great sense of clarity, and I understood that to break free from the shackles of traditional cultural ideas like “Men are superior to women” and “Men should work outside the home and women should handle domestic work,” I first had to accept the fact that men and women are equal. Men shouldn’t be prejudiced against women, much less belittle or oppress them. That’s immoral and devoid of humanity. Men should treat women fairly and not see housework as something women are naturally supposed to do, while viewing high-profile jobs that bring status as work for men. Such a viewpoint is one of Satan’s heresies and fallacies, and it goes completely against the truth. God’s house has no rule stating which duties must be done by brothers and which by sisters. In God’s house, duties are never arranged based on gender, but rather are reasonably arranged based on each person’s caliber, strengths, work capability, and the needs of the church’s work. For example, the leader arranged for me to do hosting duty because the host home the sisters were staying in faced security risks, and a safe home couldn’t be found right away. My home, on the other hand, was suitable, and my wife and children supported me in doing my duty. On one hand, the leader’s arrangement kept the sisters safe, and on the other, it allowed them to do their duties normally, ensuring that the church’s work would not be affected. By hosting them, I was also upholding the church’s work and doing my duty. I should have accepted the arrangement and submitted, let go of the fallacious ideas and viewpoints of “Men are superior to women” and “Men should work outside the home and women should handle domestic work,” and fulfilled my hosting duty according to God’s words.

Afterward, I read more of God’s words and learned how to properly approach my duty. Almighty God says: “Whatever your duty, do not discriminate between high and low. Suppose you say, ‘Though this task is a commission from God and the work of God’s house, if I do it, people might look down on me. Others get to do work that lets them stand out. I’ve been given this task, which doesn’t let me stand out but makes me exert myself behind the scenes, it’s unfair! I will not do this duty. My duty has to be one that makes me stand out in front of others and allows me to make a name for myself—and even if I don’t make a name for myself or stand out, I still have to benefit from it and feel physically at ease.’ Is this an acceptable attitude? Being picky is not accepting things from God; it is making choices according to your own preferences. This is not accepting your duty; it is a refusal of your duty, a manifestation of your rebelliousness against God. Such pickiness is adulterated with your individual preferences and desires. When you give consideration to your own benefit, your reputation, and so on, your attitude toward your duty is not submissive. What attitude should you have toward your duty? First, you must not analyze it, trying to ascertain who it was that assigned it to you; instead, you should accept it from God as God’s commission and as your duty, and you should obey the orchestration and arrangements of God, and accept your duty from God. Second, do not discriminate between high and low, and do not concern yourself with its nature, whether it lets you stand out or not, whether it is done in public view or behind the scenes. Do not consider these things. There is also another attitude: submission and active cooperation” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Up-to-Standard Performance of One’s Duty?). “For instance, if you are in charge of making food for your brothers and sisters, that is your duty. How should you treat this task? (I should seek the truth principles.) How do you seek the truth principles? This touches upon the reality and the truth. You must think about how to put the truth into practice, how to perform this duty well, and which aspects of the truth this duty involves. Step one is that you must first of all know, ‘I am not cooking for myself. This is my duty that I am doing.’ The aspect involved here is vision. What about step two? (I must think about how to cook the meal well.) What is the criterion for cooking well? (I must seek out God’s requirements.) That’s right. Only God’s requirements are the truth, the standard, and the principle. Cooking according to God’s requirements is one aspect of the truth. You must first of all consider this aspect of the truth, and then contemplate, ‘God has given me this duty to perform. What is the standard required by God?’ This foundation is a requisite. How should you cook so as to meet God’s standard, then? The food you cook should be healthy, tasty, clean, and not harmful to the body—these are the details involved. As long as you cook according to this principle, the food you cook shall be made according to God’s requirements. Why do I say this? Because you sought the principles of this duty and did not exceed the scope delineated by God. This is the right way to cook. You have done your duty well, and you have done it in a way that is up to standard” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Seeking the Truth Principles Can One Perform One’s Duty Well). In God’s house, no duty is arranged based on a person’s gender, and there are no noble or lowly duties. The proper attitude toward your duty is to accept it from God and submit. Regardless of who arranges it or whether you’re in the spotlight, you should seek the truth principles to fulfill your duty. This is the correct way to practice, and it is in accordance with God’s intentions. When the leader arranged hosting duty for me, I shouldn’t have worried about being looked down on, but instead, I should have sought the truth principles and done my best to fulfill my duty. First, I had to do everything I could to maintain a safe environment for the sisters. Also, I had to keep the house clean, and when cooking, I had to consider how to make the meals nutritious and healthy. Doing my hosting duty, on one hand, corrected my chauvinistic fallacious viewpoint, so that I no longer viewed women through the traditional lens of “Men are superior to women.” On the other hand, it also improved my life skills. I’m much more skilled at washing and chopping vegetables now, and at home, I’m basically the one who does the cooking and cleaning. I remember once during lunch, my wife said with a smile, “I used to cook for you, but I never thought it’d be the other way around now.” My kids also said I had changed. Sometimes, a few sisters come to my home to discuss their sermons, and most of the time, I’m the one who cooks. I no longer feel like it’s demeaning or humiliating at all. The sisters even say the fish I cook is delicious. Being able to break free from these traditional chauvinistic ideas and live out a bit of normal humanity is all a result achieved through God’s words. Thank God!