By Chen Zhuo, China

In 2010, my wife preached God’s gospel of the kingdom to me. By reading God’s words, I came to know that Almighty God is the Lord Jesus returned, and that He is expressing the truth to cleanse and save mankind. I was overjoyed and thought to myself, “From now on, I must earnestly believe in and follow God. How blessed I would be if I could receive God’s blessings and salvation in the days to come!” After a while, I began watering newcomers in the church, and later, I became a church leader. I was busy every day handling various items of church work, and I felt really happy, thinking that as long as I kept doing my duty this way, I would surely gain salvation. In order to devote myself full-time to my duty, I transferred my lucrative lumber business to a relative.

In January 2017, I had surgery on my left eye due to a retinal detachment, but the surgery didn’t go well, so my vision was only 0.1. I couldn’t even see words clearly, and I could only use my right eye to see. I originally planned to have another surgery a while later, but in June, due to a Judas’ betrayal, the CCP police began trying to arrest us everywhere, so my wife and I fled to another area, and I didn’t dare to go to the hospital for treatment. At the time, all I could do was stay at home and do text-based duties, but when I looked at the computer for long periods, my vision would become blurry, and I found it really hard to do my duty. Seeing that the brothers and sisters around me had pretty good eyesight, I thought to myself, “In these last few years, I gave up my business and I’ve been doing my duty in the church, so why did it have to be me who got an eye disease? My right eye had also gotten surgery before, so if anything goes wrong with it as well, what duty can I do? If I don’t do my duty, how can I be saved?” I wanted to take the risk of going to the hospital for treatment, but I was afraid of being arrested by the CCP, so I didn’t dare go. I thought about how some brothers and sisters persisted in their duty after they fell ill, and later fully recovered. If I persisted in my duty, wouldn’t God have mercy on me and heal me too? Maybe my eye would end up getting better? So I kept doing my duty in this way.

On May 1, 2024, my right eye suddenly became very swollen and painful, and I felt dizzy and nauseous. I couldn’t see anything for a moment. After a while, I became able to faintly see figures swaying in front of me, but I couldn’t see where I was walking clearly. I was suddenly at a loss, thinking, “What’s happening? Over twenty years ago, I had retinal detachment surgery on my right eye. Could this be a relapse of that old illness? This is really bad. My left eye still hasn’t healed yet, and now I can’t see out of my right eye. If I go blind in both eyes, I won’t be able to do any duty. God’s work is about to end, and at this critical time, if I can’t see, won’t I become useless? Will I be eliminated?” I was very worried, and I didn’t know what to do. Then, my right eye burned with waves of sharp pain, my head really hurt, and I kept feeling like vomiting. With no other choice, I risked going to the hospital for a checkup. The doctor said I had acute angle-closure glaucoma, so my eye pressure was high, my pupils were dilated, and my eye had severe hyperemia. He said my blurred vision was likely caused by vitreous opacity or lens displacement. He said that immediate hospitalization was necessary, or else I could go blind in my right eye. When I heard this, I thought, “I’m done for. My left eye has poor vision, and if I can’t see out of my right eye, won’t I truly end up going blind? Forget about doing duties—even managing daily life would become a problem. What will I do then? I’ve been doing my duty full-time in the church these past few years, so how could I end up with such an illness? If it was just back pain or leg pain, it would be fine; at least that wouldn’t delay my duty. But if my eyes can’t see and I can’t do a duty, won’t I become useless? How can I still be saved like this?” The more I thought about it, the more negative I became. I was hospitalized for three days, and the doctor tried various treatments, but my eye pressure kept fluctuating between high and low. My pupils couldn’t return to normal, and I was seeing double images, as if I were wearing bifocals of 2000 degrees. My vision was only 0.04. The doctor said there was no effective treatment for the time being, and that the only option was to first perform a puncture surgery. This way, he could see if the eye pressure could be lowered, check the lens condition, and then decide whether to perform a second surgery. My heart sank when I heard this, and as I lay in bed, my imagination ran wild: “The CCP has been hunting me for so many years, and I gave up my business to do my duty. Even with only one eye working properly, I kept doing my duty, and my duty bore some fruit, so why isn’t God protecting me? Could it be that I haven’t paid enough of a price or expended myself enough?” Doctrinally, I knew I should submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, but in my heart, I still hoped God would heal my eyes. How wonderful it would be if a miracle happened! Later, I saw a fellow patient in the next bed, who’d had retinal detachment surgery, but his eye pressure remained high afterward. His vision in both eyes was almost gone, he needed to hold his wife’s shoulder just to walk slowly, and there was already no hope of a cure for him. This made me start worrying again about whether I’d end up like him. My child told me that the internet says the vision loss from glaucoma is irreversible and that the illness currently has no cure. Hearing this made me even more upset and distressed, and I began to complain, “So many brothers and sisters have been healed by God when they faced illness, so why isn’t God showing me grace?” I just couldn’t submit in my heart, and I didn’t want to pray anymore. I spent my days sighing, I didn’t want to eat, and I was unable to sleep properly. Within a few days I’d lost several pounds. After the second surgery, the doctor implanted an artificial lens in my eye, and when I came out of the operating room, my eye burned with sharp pain, and my head hurt badly too. My eye pressure was so high it couldn’t even be measured. The doctor could only release aqueous humor through the surgical incision every half hour and use medication to lower the eye pressure. But six hours passed, and the eye pressure still didn’t go down. The doctor said this was very dangerous, that the surgery could end up being in vain, and that my vision couldn’t be saved. Thinking that I might not be able to see anything out of my right eye in the future, I felt deep pain inside. It was then that I finally began to reflect. From when I first got my eye disease until this point, I’d had no attitude of submission, only complaints and misunderstandings toward God, and I’d lacked any of the reason a person who believes in God should have. So I prayed and entrusted my eye illness into God’s hands, willing to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements no matter what happened to my eyes. Unexpectedly, after a while, my eyes could faintly see a little, and my eye pressure gradually returned to normal. The next day, though my vision was still blurry, it had improved to 0.2. I was suddenly filled with joy, and knowing that this was God’s mercy and His understanding of my weakness, I kept thanking God in my heart.

After I was discharged from the hospital, I stayed at a relative’s home for a while to rest and recover. During this time, leaders, supervisors, and other brothers and sisters also wrote to show concern for me, asking about my state and finding God’s words to help and support me. My wife also read God’s words aloud to me, among which, two passages of God’s words were very helpful to me. Almighty God says: “Do you pray to God and seek from Him when sickness and suffering come your way? How does the work of the Holy Spirit guide you and lead you? Does He only enlighten and illuminate you? That is not His only method; He will also test you and refine you. How does God test people? Does He not test people by making them suffer? Suffering goes hand in hand with being tested. If not for tests, how can people suffer? And without suffering, how can people change? Suffering goes hand in hand with being tested—that is the work of the Holy Spirit” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Believing in God, Gaining the Truth Is the Most Crucial Thing). “When sickness comes calling, what path should people follow? How should they choose? People should not sink into distress, anxiety, and worry, and contemplate their own future prospects and paths. Rather, the more people find themselves in times like these and in such special situations and contexts, and the more they find themselves in such immediate difficulties, the more they should seek the truth and pursue the truth. Only by doing this will the sermons you have heard in the past and the truths you have understood not be in vain and will take effect. The more you find yourself in such difficulties as these, the more you should relinquish your own desires and submit to God’s orchestrations. God’s purpose in setting up this kind of situation and arranging these conditions for you is not to make you sink into the emotions of distress, anxiety, and worry, and it is not so that you can test God to see if He will cure you when sickness befalls, thereby sounding out the truth of the matter; God sets up these special situations and conditions for you so that you can learn the practical lessons in such situations and conditions, attain deeper entry into the truth and into submission to God, and so that you know more clearly and accurately how God orchestrates all people, events, and things. The fates of man are in God’s hands and, whether people can sense it or not, whether they are truly aware of it or not, they should submit and not resist, not reject, and certainly not test God. You may die in any case, and if you resist, reject, and test God, then it goes without saying what your outcome will be. Conversely, if in the same situations and conditions you are able to seek how a created being ought to submit to the Creator’s orchestrations, seek what lessons you are to learn and what corrupt dispositions you are to know in the situations God brings about for you, and understand God’s intentions in such situations, and bear your testimony well to meet God’s demands, then this is what you should do” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (3)). After reading God’s words, I felt God’s painstaking intention. God’s intention was not for me to live in negative emotions of anxiety and distress, but to allow me to pray, rely on Him, and submit to His orchestrations and arrangements, so that from this matter, I could seek the truth, reflect, and come to know myself. God was using my illness to cleanse my corruption, and this was His love. Once I understood God’s intention, I began to pray every day, asking God to guide me to learn a lesson. My wife often read God’s words to me as well. Gradually, I no longer felt so despondent, and my state improved a lot. After a while, I went back to the hospital for another checkup, and surprisingly, my vision had reached 0.3. I got another pair of glasses, and I could see the words on the computer a bit more clearly, and my typing wasn’t really affected anymore.

Afterward, I began to ponder, “Through this illness, I revealed so many complaints and misunderstandings—what aspect of my corrupt disposition should I reflect on?” One day, I read God’s words: “People believe in God in order to be blessed, to be rewarded, to be crowned. Doesn’t this exist in everyone’s heart? It is a fact that it does. Although people don’t often talk about it, and even cover up their motive and desire to obtain blessings, this desire and motive deep in people’s hearts has always been unshakable. No matter how much spiritual theory people understand, what experiential knowledge they have, what duty they can perform, how much suffering they endure, or how much of a price they pay, they never let go of the motivation for blessings hidden deep in their hearts, and always silently toil in its service. Isn’t this the thing buried deepest inside people’s hearts? Without this motivation to receive blessings, how would you feel? With what attitude would you perform your duty and follow God? What would become of people if this motivation to receive blessings that is hidden in their hearts was gotten rid of? It is possible that many people would become negative, while some would become demotivated in their duties. They would lose interest in their belief in God, as if their soul had vanished. They would appear as if their heart had been snatched away. This is why I say the motivation for blessings is something hidden deep in people’s hearts” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Six Indicators of Life Growth). “The purpose of these people in following God is very simple, and it is for a single goal: to be blessed. These people cannot be bothered to pay heed to anything else that has nothing to do with this goal. To them, there is no goal more legitimate than believing in God to receive blessings—it is the very value of their faith. If something does not contribute to this aim, they remain completely unmoved by it. This is the case with most people who believe in God today. Their aim and intention seem legitimate, because as they believe in God, they also expend for God, dedicate themselves to God, and perform their duty. They give up their youth, forsake family and career, and even spend years away from home busying themselves. For the sake of their ultimate goal, they change their own interests, their outlook on life, and even the direction they seek; yet they cannot change the aim of their belief in God. … Apart from the benefits that are so closely associated with them, could there be any other reasons why people who never understand God would give so much for Him? In this, we discover a previously unidentified problem: Man’s relationship with God is merely one of naked self-interest. It is a relationship between a receiver and a giver of blessings. To put it plainly, it is the relationship between an employee and an employer. The employee works hard only to receive the rewards bestowed by the employer. There is no kindred affection in such an interests-based relationship, only transaction. There is no loving or being loved, only charity and mercy. There is no understanding, only helpless suppressed indignation and deception. There is no intimacy, only an uncrossable chasm. Now that things have gotten to this point, who can reverse such a course? And how many people are capable of truly understanding how dire this relationship has become? I believe that when people immerse themselves in the joy of being blessed, none can imagine how embarrassing and unsightly such a relationship with God is” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Appendix 3: Man Can Only Be Saved Amidst God’s Management). God exposed my exact state. In my many years of believing in God, I gave up my home and career, endured hardship, and expended myself, and this was all so I could gain blessings, be saved, and enter the kingdom of heaven. Thinking back to when I first found God, I believed that as long as I did my duty, forsook things and expended myself, I would surely receive God’s blessings. For this reason, I actively did my duty, and to avoid delaying my duty, I even gave up my business. I felt I had endless energy, and my only goal was to pursue blessings. Later, my left eye became diseased and my vision declined, but I still persisted in my duty. I thought that God would take into account my persistence in my duty and submission to Him, and therefore heal my eye, and give me a good destination in the future. To my surprise, not only did my left eye not get better, but my right eye also developed glaucoma. I couldn’t see anything at all, and I couldn’t do any duty. When I saw that there was no hope of gaining blessings, I felt extremely pained and distressed, and I was full of misunderstandings and complaints toward God. I kept arguing with God in my heart and demanding that He heal me. Through the judgment and exposure of God’s words, I finally saw that I had been trying to use my duty to bargain for the blessings of the kingdom of heaven, and that my relationship with God was merely one of naked self-interest. In all my years of doing my duty, I hadn’t pursued the truth, and my corrupt disposition hadn’t changed much. Behind my suffering and paying a price were hidden attempts to bargain with God. I was full of demands and deception toward God and I didn’t have even a bit of sincerity. Later, I began to seek, “What is the root cause of my constant desire for blessings in my faith?”

One day, I read God’s words: “In everything people do—whether they are praying or fellowshipping or preaching—their pursuits, thoughts, and aspirations, these things are all demands of God and attempts to solicit things from Him, they are all done by people in the hope of gaining something from God. Some people say that ‘this is human nature,’ which is correct! In addition, people making too many demands of God and having too many extravagant desires proves that people are truly lacking in conscience and reason. They are all demanding and soliciting things for their own sakes, or trying to argue and find excuses for themselves—they do all of this for themselves. In many things, it can be seen that what people do is totally devoid of reason, which is full proof that the satanic logic of ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’ has already become man’s nature. What problem is illustrated by people making too many demands of God? It illustrates that people have been corrupted by Satan to a certain point, and that in their belief in God, they don’t treat Him as God at all” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. People Make Too Many Demands of God). “No matter how they are tried, the allegiance of those who have God in their heart remains unchanged; but for those who do not have God in their heart, once the work of God is not advantageous to their flesh, they change their view of God, and even depart from God. Such are those who will not stand fast in the end, who only seek God’s blessings and have no desire to expend themselves for God and dedicate themselves to Him. Such base people will all be expelled when God’s work comes to an end, and they are unworthy of any sympathy. Those without humanity are incapable of truly loving God. When the environment is safe and secure, or there are profits to be made, they are totally obedient toward God, but once that which they desire is compromised or finally refuted, they immediately revolt. Even in the space of just one night, they may go from a smiling, ‘kind-hearted’ person to an ugly-looking and ferocious killer, suddenly treating their benefactor of yesterday as their mortal enemy, without rhyme or reason. If these demons are not cast out, these demons that would kill without blinking an eye, will they not become a hidden danger?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Work and Man’s Practice). God’s words made me realize that my constant pursuit of blessings stemmed from my living by satanic poisons like “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Man dies for wealth as birds do for food,” and “Never lift a finger without a reward.” Everything I did was aimed at benefiting myself, and my nature was especially greedy and selfish. When I first accepted God’s work of the last days, I learned that God was carrying out His final stage of work to save mankind, and that only by believing in God and doing my duty could I have a chance to be saved and remain. I saw this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so I gave up my business without hesitation and chose to do my duty full-time. If not for the sake of blessings and gains, I wouldn’t have had that much enthusiasm at all. Over the years, although I could see clearly with only one eye, I still persisted in my duty, thinking that by doing so, I would be saved and have a good destination. I treated God like an employer, and after doing a bit of duty, I shamelessly demanded blessings and promises from God, thinking about how I could benefit from God. When my right eye became diseased and I faced the prospect of becoming blind and unable to do any duty, I thought I was about to become a useless person and be eliminated. I felt all my years of effort and expenditure could end up being in vain, and that my hope of gaining blessings could be dashed. So I just couldn’t accept it and was full of misunderstandings and complaints against God. I even questioned why He had allowed such an illness to come upon me. These behaviors of mine were exactly what God had exposed: “Those without humanity are incapable of truly loving God. When the environment is safe and secure, or there are profits to be made, they are totally obedient toward God, but once that which they desire is compromised or finally refuted, they immediately revolt. Even in the space of just one night, they may go from a smiling, ‘kind-hearted’ person to an ugly-looking and ferocious killer, suddenly treating their benefactor of yesterday as their mortal enemy, without rhyme or reason.” I didn’t treat God as God at all in my faith. I treated my duty as a bargaining chip I could exchange for blessings and entry into the kingdom of heaven. In essence, I was trying to use and scheme against God, thinking that I could use my paying a price and hard work to trade for great blessings. In what way did I have any humanity or reason? When this trial came, I didn’t think about how to satisfy God, and all I worried about was my own future and destination. I was truly selfish and despicable! Ever since I accepted God’s work in the last days, I had been receiving the watering and sustenance of God’s words, and God also gave me opportunities to do my duty, allowing me, in the course of my duty, to gradually understand and gain various aspects of the truth. This was all God’s love and salvation for me, but I treated my duty as a springboard to gain blessings. This was truly detestable and hateful to God! I thought of what Paul said, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: From now on there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness” (2 Timothy 4:7-8). Paul used his hard work and the price he’d paid to demand a crown of righteousness from God, claiming that God would be unrighteous if He did not grant it to him, and he openly clamored against and opposed God. This offended God’s disposition and so Paul was punished by God. Was I not now walking the same path as Paul? If I didn’t repent, I would end up being punished in hell!

Later, I read more of God’s words: “There is no correlation between the duty of man and whether he receives blessings or suffers misfortune. Duty is what man ought to fulfill; it is his heaven-sent vocation, and he should perform it without seeking recompense, and without conditions or reasons. Only this can be called performing one’s duty. Receiving blessings refers to the blessings a person enjoys when they are made perfect after experiencing judgment. Suffering misfortune refers to the punishment a person receives when their disposition does not change after they have passed through chastisement and judgment—that is, when they are not made perfect. But regardless of whether they receive blessings or suffer misfortune, created beings should fulfill their duty, doing what they ought to do, and doing what they are able to do; this is the least that a person, a person who pursues God, should do. You should not perform your duty only to receive blessings, and you should not refuse to perform your duty for fear of suffering misfortune” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Difference Between the Ministry of God Incarnate and the Duty of Man). God’s words are so clear! Duty is God’s commission to man, and it’s the unshirkable responsibility of a created being. There should be no ulterior intentions or impurities in this. Just like how it’s perfectly natural and justified for children to be filial to their parents, there should be no pursuit of gain in this. Moreover, whether someone can be saved depends on whether, in the course of doing their duty, they pursue the truth, view people and things according to God’s words, and whether their corrupt disposition can be cleansed and transformed. If someone can conduct themselves properly and carry out their tasks dutifully according to God’s requirements, stand in the place of a created being and fulfill their duty, and no matter what great trials or refinements come upon them, they harbor no misunderstandings or complaints, and can unconditionally submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, and in the end achieve submission to and fear of God, then such a person can be saved and will ultimately remain. It’s not that so long as someone can do their duty, they’ll be saved even if their corrupt disposition hasn’t changed at all—that view was completely my own notion and imagining, and utterly absurd. From then on, I was willing to seek God’s intentions and pursue the truth in all things that came upon me and fulfill my duty to repay God’s salvation. My state turned around somewhat afterward. Sometimes my eyes would still go blurry after reading sermons for a while and I’d have to rest, but I didn’t feel such misery in my heart as I did before.

During my devotionals, I read these passages of God’s words: “We’re talking about sickness; this is something most people will experience during their lifetime. Therefore, the kind of sickness that will afflict people’s bodies at what time or at what age and what their health will be like are all things arranged by God and people cannot decide these things for themselves; just like the time when someone is born, they are not able to decide it for themselves. So, is it not foolish to feel distressed, anxious, and worried about things you cannot decide for yourself? (Yes.) People should set about resolving the things they can resolve themselves, and for those things they cannot do themselves, they should wait for God; people should submit silently and ask God to protect them—this is the mindset people should have. When illness really does strike and death really is near, then people should submit and not complain or rebel against God or say things that blaspheme against God or things that attack Him. Instead, people should stand as created beings and experience and appreciate all that comes from God—they should not try to choose things for themselves. This could be a special experience that enriches your life, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing, right? Therefore, when it comes to illness, people should first resolve their wrong thoughts and views concerning the origin of the illness, and then they will no longer worry about this; moreover, people have no power to control known or unknown things, nor are they capable of controlling them, as all these things are under the sovereignty of God. The attitude and principle of practice people should have are to wait and submit. From understanding to practice, all should be done in line with the truth principles—this is to pursue the truth” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (4)). “So, how should you choose, and how should you approach the matter of becoming ill? It’s very simple, and there is one path to follow: Pursue the truth. Pursue the truth and regard the matter according to God’s words and according to the truth principles—this is the understanding people should have. And how should you practice? You put the understanding you have gained and the truth principles you have understood according to the truth and God’s words into practice in the things that you experience, and you make them your reality and your life—this is one aspect. The other aspect is that you must not abandon your duty. Whether you are sick or in pain, as long as you have a single breath left, as long as you are still living, as long as you can still speak and walk, then you have the energy to perform your duty, and you should be well-behaved in the performance of your duty with your feet planted firmly on the ground. You must not abandon the duty of a created being or the responsibility given to you by the Creator. As long as you are not yet dead, you should complete your duty and fulfill it well. Some people say, ‘These things You say are not very considerate. I’m sick and it’s hard for me to bear!’ When it’s hard for you, you can take a rest, and you can take care of yourself and receive treatment. If you still wish to continue doing your duty, you can reduce your workload and perform some suitable duty, one that doesn’t impact your recovery. This will prove that you have not abandoned your duty in your heart, that your heart has not strayed from God, that you have not denied God’s name in your heart, and that you have not abandoned the desire to be a proper created being in your heart. Some people say, ‘If I’ve done all of that, will God take this sickness from me?’ Will He? (Not necessarily.) Whether God takes that sickness from you or not, whether God cures you or not, what you do is what a created being ought to do. Whether your physical condition renders you capable of shouldering any work or permits you to do your duty, your heart must not stray from God, and you must not abandon your duty in your heart. In this way, you will fulfill your responsibilities, your obligations, and your duty—this is the loyalty you should hold to” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (3)). From God’s words, I saw that no matter what stage in life someone encounters illness or hardship, it is all under God’s sovereignty and arranged by God, and it all has meaning. Just like me—if it weren’t for this eye illness that made me nearly go blind, I never would have known my despicable intention of trying to make deals with God, much less that I’d been walking Paul’s path all along, and I’d have eventually been punished for resisting God. Although I was full of sorrow and pain during that time, it led me to reflect on and know myself, and I gained some growth in life. This was all God’s grace. I never would have learned these things in a comfortable environment. I also thought of Job—he feared God. When he faced truly great trials and refinements, all his possessions were taken away by bandits, his children died, and he was covered in sore boils. He sat in ashes scraping at his sore boils with a potsherd to ease his pain, yet he did not sin with his mouth. Even when his wife told him to forsake God’s name, and his three friends judged him, he did not complain against God. He even said, “Jehovah gave, and Jehovah has taken away; blessed be the name of Jehovah” (Job 1:21). “Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive adversity?” (Job 2:10). Job preferred to curse himself rather than stop submitting to God or stop being at the mercy of God’s orchestrations, thereby putting Satan to shame. Then there’s Peter—he experienced hundreds of trials and refinements in just seven years, and he walked the path of pursuing the truth throughout. He focused on reflecting on and knowing himself, and he sought to satisfy God’s intentions in everything. Ultimately, he came to love God to the utmost, and he submitted even unto death. Neither Job nor Peter made any demands or requests of God, much less did they worry about what kind of outcome they would have. All they thought about was how to submit to and satisfy God, and in the end, they stood firm in their testimony for God and thoroughly humiliated Satan. These people are all examples I should emulate. I made a firm resolution: “As long as I still have the chance to do my duty, and as long as I can still see words, my hands can still type, and my mind is clear, then I will do my utmost in my duty. Even if one day I lose my sight and can no longer do my duty, I will still be willing to submit. Even if I can’t see, I can listen to readings of God’s words and ponder His words in my heart, and I can verbally share my experiential understanding with my wife and children, so they can help me write experiential testimony articles. I will also focus on quieting myself before God to listen to His fellowship, and draw on God’s words to reflect on and know myself and resolve my corrupt disposition.” In the time that followed, I wore reading glasses to attend gatherings and read God’s words with my wife. I kept writing sermons daily, and when I had time, I also wrote experiential testimony articles. When my eyes got blurry after looking at the computer for a long time, I would apply some eye drops and rest my eyes for a while, and once the discomfort eased, I’d continue doing my duty. About two months after my eye surgery, I went to the hospital for a follow-up, and the doctor treated me with laser therapy. This cleared some of the vitreous cloudiness in my eye, and I could see nearby objects much more clearly than before. I no longer needed reading glasses to see the text on the computer, and I could even see smaller letters clearly. I was really excited and thanked God from the bottom of my heart for His grace.

Through this experience, I came to realize how selfish and despicable I was for trying to make deals with God in my faith. It was God’s words that gave me some understanding of myself and brought about some change in me. I sincerely thank God!