By Lorraine, USA

In March 2023, our district was holding a by-election to select a district leader. I thought to myself, “Although my life entry hasn’t been the best, I have always been responsible for the gospel work. The scope of my responsibility has been quite broad, and the work has also yielded some results. In this election for the district leader, the brothers and sisters should probably choose me, right? Although I’m currently a gospel work supervisor, this is only a single-task job, and only a few people know of me. But being a district leader is a different matter. They supervise the overall work, and more people look up to and admire them. If I end up being chosen, the brothers and sisters will definitely think I pursue the truth, and that I’m not only able to supervise the gospel work, but also able to be a leader.” Thinking of this, I felt really happy.

During those days, I was really active in my duties, and whenever someone asked a question in the group chat, I’d reply promptly, and sometimes, I sought about problems from the leaders and reported problems I found to them privately, wanting them to think that I had a sense of burden and responsibility, and so that they’d vote for me in the election. To my utter astonishment, one night, I saw a message from the upper leaders, announcing that Sister Charlotte had been elected to be a district leader. When I saw that name, I felt really upset, and thought, “Although Charlotte had always been doing leadership duties, she has just come to our district to preach the gospel and isn’t very familiar with the situation here. So why was she chosen for the district leader? For a while, I’d been supervising her work, but now that she’s been elected as a leader and will follow up on my work, how could I ever show my face again? Could it be that the brothers and sisters really see me as that inferior?” I felt very unconvinced. “How exactly am I inferior to Charlotte? In terms of our respective scopes of responsibility, hers is no broader than mine; in terms of work experience and principles mastered, she is no better than me either; and in terms of suffering and paying a price, I’ve certainly suffered a lot. During my time as a gospel work supervisor, no matter what the church arranged for me to do, I did it, and when I encountered problems in the work, no matter how hard or painful things got, I never complained or grumbled. But despite all my hard work, why was it Charlotte who was chosen and not me? Could it be that there was something wrong with me? Was I not suited to be a district leader? Was I only suited to do a single-task duty?” The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I felt, and I lost my motivation to do my duties.

During that time, the church’s gospel work encountered some difficulties and problems, and it just so happened that this area was exactly what Charlotte was mainly responsible for. Charlotte was reaching out to brothers and sisters to discuss how to resolve these problems. Although this work was outside the scope of my supervision, I had been supervising gospel work for a longer time, so I should’ve collaborated with them to discuss solutions. But when I thought about how this was the scope of work Charlotte was responsible for, I felt that if I really did solve the problems, the upper leaders would be sure to think this was Charlotte’s achievement, and say that she had work capabilities. When I thought about this, I didn’t want to participate in the discussion. Even when asked to, I’d politely make excuses, saying, “You all discuss it, I don’t know much about this.” I’d even latch onto Charlotte’s shortcomings, and now and then, I’d vent my dissatisfaction to the sisters around me, saying, “Not understanding the principles just won’t cut it. With so many issues in the work right now, how can she follow up on the work and solve problems without understanding the principles?” They’d listen and agree, saying, “Yeah, it’s really not OK for her not to understand principles, as she can’t solve problems this way.” After hearing this, I’d feel secretly happy inside, thinking, “Since you don’t think much of me, then let whoever you choose do the work. I want to see how well she can actually do the job. When problems arise in the work, I’ll use facts to prove that you chose wrong, and I’ll have you see the consequences of not choosing me.” In reality, during that time, I was filled with darkness and pain, and when I saw problems that arose in the work, sometimes I also felt guilty, thinking that I should work with Charlotte to solve these issues as quickly as possible. I wanted to message Charlotte on several occasions, but when I thought about how I wasn’t chosen for the district leader, I couldn’t swallow my pride, and I’d pull back my hands from the keyboard. My heart was in torment, wrestling back and forth within me; it was agonizing. I realized that my state was wrong and that I should adjust and turn it around promptly, yet I didn’t want to let go of my pride to seek fellowship from Charlotte. During that time, I was consumed by reputation and status, and my focus wasn’t on my duty. I was unwilling to cooperate when the leaders were implementing some tasks; when my brothers and sisters failed to grasp the principles in their duties, lived in difficulties, and lacked direction, I didn’t help resolve their difficulties; and when the upper leaders provided guidance to help me follow up on the gospel work, I didn’t follow up on it or implement the guidance in a timely manner. As a result, the effectiveness of the gospel work continued to decline, until it reached a state of near paralysis.

Before long, I was dismissed. The leaders then assigned me to be responsible for the work of a gospel group. I not only didn’t reflect on why I was dismissed, but instead, I complained that the leaders shouldn’t have dismissed me, and I continued to live in feelings of resistance, with no mind to follow up on the work. The supervisor exposed and pruned me for not resolving the issues in the work in good time, and for being so sluggish with the follow-up work, but I just couldn’t take it in. After a little over a month, the work I was responsible for still showed no improvement. The supervisor saw that I consistently refused to accept the truth and reflect on myself, so he dismissed me from my position as the group leader. After this, I was relegated to an ordinary church, and my state plummeted even more. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I wouldn’t even open my mouth to fellowship during gatherings. The leaders tried to help me several times, but I refused to answer their calls. I felt resistant to the group leader following up on my work, and for several months in a row, I didn’t get any results in my duties. Four months later, a leader suddenly contacted me and said, “Brothers and sisters reported that your attitude toward your duties was dismissive, that you achieved no real results, and that your humanity is poor. Ever since you’ve been dismissed, you’ve been living in a negative and resistant state. You’ve had no attitude of accepting the truth, and you don’t accept the team leader supervising and following up on your work. According to the principles, you need to be isolated for reflection.” When I found out I was going to be isolated, my mind went blank. I’d never thought that after believing in God for so many years and forsaking my family and career for my duty, I would end up being isolated. During those days, I often thought of what the leader said when she dissected me, “You are not someone who accepts the truth,” “Your humanity is poor,” and “You have no real submission.” These words kept running through my head. I kept asking myself, “Could it be that my journey of faith has come to its end?” My heart felt empty, and I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. I felt like there was no good outcome for me, and I even had thoughts of returning to the world. When I truly wanted to leave, my heart was filled with guilt, and I remembered how I had once made a vow that I would not leave God no matter what. I’d believed in God for so many years, and I’d eaten and drunk so much of God’s word and enjoyed so much of His grace and blessings. I’d be truly lacking in conscience if I left like this. But when I thought about how I had already been isolated by the church, I became really negative and didn’t know what to do. During that time, I didn’t want to see anyone, and I spent my days living like a walking corpse.

One day, my tooth suddenly hurt terribly, and none of the medicine I used helped. At night, I wept alone under the covers, and my heart was filled with an indescribable loneliness and desolation. I wanted to pray to God, but I felt too ashamed to face Him. I felt like I wasn’t someone God would save, and that I was no longer worthy of praying to God. The more I closed my heart to God, the worse my toothache became. I cried out in my heart, “God, God …” I knelt and prayed to God, “God, I am feeling terrible. I don’t want to give up on my faith in You, but I don’t know what to do.” After praying, I remembered these passages of God’s words: “Since you are certain that this way is true, you must follow it until the end; you must maintain your loyalty to God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. You Should Maintain Your Loyalty to God). “No matter what wrongs you have committed, no matter what wrong turns you have taken or how you have transgressed, do not let these become burdens or excess baggage that you have to carry with you in your pursuit of knowledge of God. Continue marching onward” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique VI). Pondering God’s words, I was deeply moved. I felt that God was still guiding me, encouraging me not to give up and to keep moving forward, and I felt a great strength in my heart, and also felt really guilty. I had pursued reputation and status, not walked the right path, and disrupted and disturbed the church’s work. With my behavior, however the church handled me was justified. Yet after being isolated, I even wanted to betray God. I was so intransigent! I had believed in God for many years, I had eaten and drunk so many of His words, and I knew this to be the true way. Even without a good outcome, I should follow God to the end. I prayed to God, “God, I have done wrong, and I have been so rebellious. That I have reached this point is my own fault. God, I am willing to reflect on myself seriously and to rise up from where I have fallen. Please enlighten and guide me, so that I may understand myself.” During those days, I kept crying out to God like this.

During one of my devotionals, I read God’s words and gained some understanding of myself. Almighty God says: “Antichrists consider their own status and reputation as more important than anything else. These people are not only deceitful, cunning, and wicked, but also extremely vicious. What do they do when they detect that their status is at risk, or when they lose their place in people’s hearts, when they lose these people’s endorsement and affection, when people no longer venerate and look up to them, and they have fallen into ignominy? They suddenly turn hostile. As soon as they lose their status, they become unwilling to perform any duty, everything they do is perfunctory, and they have no interest in doing anything. But this isn’t the worst manifestation. What is the worst manifestation? As soon as these people lose their status, and no one looks up to them, and no one is misled by them, out comes the hate, jealousy, and revenge. They not only have no God-fearing hearts, but also lack any shred of submission. In their hearts, furthermore, they hate God’s house, the church, and the leaders and workers; they long for the work of the church to run into problems or come to a standstill; they want to laugh at the church, and at the brothers and sisters. They also hate anyone who pursues the truth and fears God. They attack and mock anyone who is loyal in their duty and willing to pay a price. This is the disposition of the antichrists—and is it not vicious?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Two)). When I saw this passage of God’s words, I felt deeply distressed. I felt that every behavior God exposed was describing me, especially when I saw God saying antichrists cherish their own reputation and status more than anything, and they have no submission to or fear of God. They rack their brains and use any means to gain status, and once they lose their reputation and status, or lose the support and admiration of people, they immediately turn hostile, become negative and slack off in their work, and feel resentment and dissatisfaction in their hearts. They wish for problems to arise in the church’s work so they can laugh at the church. Then I thought about my own behavior—wasn’t it exactly the same? In the past, in order to be selected as the district leader and gain the esteem of the brothers and sisters, when I saw the brothers and sisters sending messages asking questions, I’d immediately answer, wanting to get the leaders’ attention. But when I learned that Charlotte was chosen as the district leader, I didn’t reflect on where I was lacking. Instead, because I wasn’t chosen, and because I couldn’t get the status or the admiration of more people, I became resistant and argued in my heart. I thought that I had more experience and had been supervising the gospel work longer than Charlotte, and so taking these things as capital, I became dissatisfied and discontented, and I used my duties to vent my frustrations. When I saw that the gospel work Charlotte was responsible for encountered problems, I not only didn’t help resolve the issues, but I also took pleasure in her troubles and laughed at her, even wishing for these problems not to be solved so that she would be humiliated in front of the brothers and sisters and everyone could see that she was indeed not as good as me. Not only that, I also vented my dissatisfaction to the sisters around me. I seized on some small issues in Charlotte’s duties and judged her behind her back, hoping that the brothers and sisters would take my side and think that the church had chosen the wrong person and buried someone as talented as me. After I was dismissed, I not only didn’t reflect on or know myself, but I also kept resisting and refusing to submit, and when the leaders tried to fellowship with me, I was unwilling to engage with them. I had no attitude of accepting or seeking the truth at all. At that moment, I suddenly realized that not being chosen as the leader was actually a protection for me. Because my disposition was vicious and I focused on status too much, when I didn’t gain status, I became hateful, laughed at others, and even judged and undermined others. If I had really gained status, for anyone who didn’t listen to me, I would have surely suppressed and excluded them, and I’d have committed even greater evils. When I pondered this, I realized just how dangerous my state had been. Yet I’d been completely oblivious and remained intransigent and unyielding. If it hadn’t been for my isolation, I would have remained stubborn and unrepentant. I prayed to God, “God, thank You for Your guidance. I now have a little understanding of myself, and I see that I am standing at the edge of a cliff. That I was not expelled is already Your mercy and You giving me the opportunity to repent. God, I am willing to truly repent. Please guide me to see through to the essence and consequences of pursuing status.”

During one of my devotionals, I read God’s words, and gained some understanding of my nature essence. Almighty God says: “Antichrists’ cherishment of their reputation and status goes beyond that of ordinary people, and is something within their disposition essence; it is not a temporary interest, or the transient effect of their surroundings—it is something within their life, their bones, and so it is their essence. This is to say that in everything antichrists do, their first consideration is their own reputation and status, nothing else. For antichrists, reputation and status are their life, and the goal they pursue throughout their lives. … It can be said that for antichrists, reputation and status are not some additional requirement, much less things which are external to them that they could do without. They are part of the nature of antichrists, they are in their bones, in their blood, they are innate to them. Antichrists are not indifferent toward whether they possess reputation and status; this is not their attitude. Then, what is their attitude? Reputation and status are intimately connected to their daily lives, to their daily state, to what they pursue on a daily basis. For antichrists, status and reputation are their life. No matter how they live, no matter what environment they live in, no matter what work they do, no matter what they pursue, what their goals are, what their life’s direction is, it all revolves around having a good reputation and a high status. And this aim does not change; they can never put aside such things. This is the true face of antichrists, and their essence. You could put them in a primeval forest deep in the mountains, and still they would not let go of their pursuit of reputation and status. You could put them among any group of people, and all they can think about is still reputation and status. Although antichrists believe in God, they equate the pursuit of reputation and status with faith in God and place these two things on equal footing. Which is to say, as they walk the path of faith in God, they also pursue their own reputation and status. It can be said that in antichrists’ hearts, the pursuit of the truth in believing in God is the pursuit of reputation and status, and the pursuit of reputation and status is also the pursuit of the truth—to gain reputation and status is to gain the truth and life. If they feel that they have not obtained fame, gain, or status, that no one looks up to them, holds them in high regard, or follows them, then they become dejected, they believe there is no point in believing in God, no value to it, and they inwardly wonder, ‘Have I failed by believing in God like this? Is there no hope for me?’ They often calculate such things in their hearts. They calculate how they can carve a place out for themselves in the house of God, how they can have a lofty reputation in the church, how they can get people to listen when they talk, and to sing their praises when they act, how they can get people to follow them no matter where they are, and how they can have an influential voice in the church, and fame, gain, and status—they really focus on such things in their hearts. These are what such people pursue” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). From God’s words, I saw that an antichrist’s pursuit of reputation and status is not temporary, and that it is something within their nature and essence. Antichrists take the pursuit of reputation and status as their goal in life. They believe that by gaining reputation and status, they gain everything, and that once they lose reputation and status, life loses its meaning. I realized that I had been just like this. Since childhood, I lived by the satanic poisons of “Aim to stand out and excel” and “One must endure the greatest hardships in order to become the greatest of men.” In school, I strived to be the top student and the best in class, and I thought this would earn me the admiration of my teachers and classmates. After I got married, when I saw many relatives and neighbors on my husband’s side that were better off than us, I was unwilling to fall behind, so I opened a business with my husband, wanting to be someone wealthy in the village and be admired by others. After finding God, I still made reputation and status the object of my pursuit, thinking that by becoming a leader, the scope of my responsibilities would expand, and more people would look up to me. I believed this was the only way to live a meaningful and valuable life. To gain status and admiration, I racked my brains striving for it. But when I wasn’t chosen as a leader and couldn’t gain the admiration and support of my brothers and sisters, I became dissatisfied and discontented, and I judged the newly elected leader. When I saw problems in the gospel work, I ignored them, and I even took pleasure at seeing them occur. When I was dismissed, I continued to be negative and oppositional, and when others followed up on my work, I also felt resistant. Even when I was isolated, I didn’t reflect on myself, and I even thought about betraying God and leaving His house. I saw that everything I did was to struggle for reputation and status, that the pursuit of reputation and status had become part of my nature, and that I was already walking on the path of an antichrist. At that moment, I had the feeling deep within me that reputation and status had truly harmed me so much. For the sake of reputation and status, I had lost my humanity and reason. I brought disruption upon the church work and harm upon the people around me; my pursuit of reputation and status drew me ever further from God, and caused me to become more and more lacking in human likeness. I wanted to quickly break free from the constraints and bondage of reputation and status, and started to have the resolve to pursue the truth.

Afterward, I read another passage of God’s words, and I clearly realized that pursuing reputation and status is a path that leads to destruction. Almighty God says: “Pursuing reputation and status is not the right path—it runs in exactly the opposite direction of the pursuit of the truth. In sum, regardless of what the direction or goal of your pursuit is, if you do not reflect on the pursuit of status and reputation, and if you find it very difficult to put this aside, then that will affect your life entry. As long as status has a place in your heart, it will be fully capable of controlling and influencing your life’s direction and the goal of your pursuit, in which case it will be very difficult for you to enter the truth reality, to say nothing of achieving changes in your disposition; whether you are ultimately able to gain God’s approval, of course, goes without saying. What’s more, if you are never able to give up your pursuit of status, this will affect your ability to do your duty in a way that is up to standard, which will make it very difficult for you to become a created being that is up to standard. Why do I say this? God loathes nothing more than when people pursue status, because the pursuit of status is a satanic disposition, it is a wrong path, it is born of the corruption of Satan, it is something condemned by God, and it is the very thing that God will judge and cleanse away. God loathes nothing more than when people pursue status, and yet you still mulishly compete for status, you unfailingly cherish and protect it, always trying to take it for yourself. Is there not a bit of a quality of being antagonistic to God in all this? Status is not ordained for people by God; God provides people with the truth, the way, and the life, so that they ultimately become a created being that is up to standard, a small and insignificant created being—not someone who has status and prestige and is revered by thousands of people. And so, no matter what perspective it is viewed from, the pursuit of status is a road to ruin. No matter how reasonable your excuse for pursuing status is, this path is still the wrong one, and is not approved of by God. No matter how hard you try or how great the price you pay, if you desire status, God will not give it to you; if God does not give it you, you will fail in fighting to obtain it, and if you keep fighting there will only be one outcome: You will be revealed and eliminated—you will be on a road to ruin. You understand this, yes?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). From God’s words, I saw that the pursuit of reputation and status is not the right path, and that this is what God hates the most. God gives people duties, not status, and His intention is for people to be up to standard as created beings, not for people to seek to become famous or great. If people continually pursue reputation and status, this goes against God’s requirements, and essentially, this is opposing God, and the final outcome of this is to be revealed and eliminated by God. In reflecting on my past service as a gospel work supervisor, I saw that I had a lot of responsibilities, but I didn’t focus on how to do my primary work well. Instead, I only wanted to be elected as the district leader to attain higher status and be admired by more people. When I wasn’t chosen as a district leader and my ambitions and desires went unmet, I became dissatisfied and discontented, and I even took my frustrations out on the church’s work, causing the gospel work to reach a state of near paralysis. If I didn’t repent, I would surely be expelled and eliminated for my numerous evil deeds. At that moment, I began to have some understanding of what God said about the pursuit of reputation and status being a dead end. When I thought about this, I was really grateful for God. If I hadn’t been isolated, I wouldn’t have awakened in time, and I wouldn’t have known the nature and consequences of pursuing reputation and status. That the church did not expel me and only isolated me was already God’s mercy toward me, and I had to repent quickly.

One day, I read a passage of God’s words, and I knew how I should treat the fact that I wasn’t chosen as a district leader. Almighty God says: “If you think yourself fit to be a leader, possessed of the talent, caliber, and humanity for leadership, yet God’s house has not promoted you and the brothers and sisters have not elected you, how should you treat the matter? There is a path of practice here that you can follow. You must thoroughly know yourself. Look to see if what it boils down to is that you have a problem with your humanity, or that the revelation of some aspect of your corrupt disposition is loathsome to people; or whether it is that you do not possess the truth reality and are unconvincing to others, or that the performance of your duty is not up to standard. You must reflect on all these things and see where it is, exactly, that you fall short. … You must pursue life entry, resolve your extravagant desires first, willingly be a follower, and come to submit to God truly, with no words of complaints for whatever He orchestrates or arranges. When you are possessed of this stature, your opportunity will come. That you wish to take on a heavy load, that you have this burden, is a good thing. It shows that you have a proactive heart that seeks to make progress and that you want to be considerate of God’s intentions and follow God’s will. This is not an ambition, but a true burden; it is the responsibility of those who pursue the truth and the object of their pursuit. You have no selfish motives and are not out for your own sake, but to bear witness to God and satisfy Him—this is what is most blessed by God, and He will make suitable arrangements for you. … God’s intention is to gain more people who can bear witness to Him; it is to perfect all who love Him, and to make a group of people complete who are of one heart and mind with Him as early as possible. Therefore, in God’s house, all who pursue the truth have great prospects, and the prospects of those who love God sincerely are without limit. Everyone should understand God’s intention. It is indeed a positive thing to have this burden, and it is something those with a conscience and reason should possess, but not everyone will necessarily be able to take on a heavy load. Where does this discrepancy come from? Whatever your strengths or capabilities, and however high your IQ may be, what is crucial is your pursuit and the path you walk” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (6)). As I pondered God’s words, I realized that the church’s election of leaders is based on principles. As a leader, one must have humanity, be able to fellowship on the truth to resolve problems, have certain work capabilities, and pursue the truth. If a person doesn’t pursue the truth and walks the wrong path, then even if they become a leader, they won’t go far. But I judged whether a person could be a leader based solely on the scope of duties they were responsible for, how much suffering they endured, and the length of time they had spent training. My standards were completely inconsistent with God’s words. Thinking back, although I spent a long time training to preach the gospel, understood some principles of preaching the gospel, and had some results in my duty, I didn’t focus on my life entry, and I was satisfied with just keeping busy with my duty each day. I rarely reflected on and knew myself in the things I encountered, and I rarely pondered the truth principles. I was not someone who loved or pursued the truth at all. The main responsibility of a leader is to lead brothers and sisters to understand the truth and enter into the reality of God’s words. I didn’t focus on reflecting on and knowing myself, only on doing outward work, and had little life entry, so I was not qualified to be a leader. If I really were elected as a leader but couldn’t do the actual work, wouldn’t I be a false leader? Additionally, to be a leader, one needs to oversee all aspects of the work and have certain work capabilities. I was only supervising gospel work at that time, and sometimes when there were too many tasks, I couldn’t handle them. I simply did not have the caliber or work capabilities for being a leader. Charlotte had always been a leader before, and fellowshipped the truth more clearly than I did, and though she lacked experience in supervising gospel work, her heart was in the right place, and she was willing to practice and learn. Electing her as a leader was appropriate, and I should support Charlotte’s work. After pondering this matter, I was able to handle not being elected as a leader with equanimity.

Later, I read two passages of God’s words and came to understand what kind of person God wants. Almighty God says: “As a member of created humanity, you must keep to your proper position, and conduct yourself in a well-behaved manner. Dutifully hold fast to that which is entrusted to you by the Creator. Do not act out of line, or do things beyond your range of ability or which are loathsome to God. Do not pursue being a great person, a superman, or a grand individual, and do not pursue becoming God. These are all wishes that people should not have. Pursuing being a great person or a superman is absurd. Pursuing becoming God is even more disgraceful; it is disgusting, and despicable. What is truly precious, and what created beings should hold to more than anything else, is becoming a true created being; this is the only goal that all people should pursue” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I). “When God requires that people fulfill their duty, He is not asking them to complete a certain number of tasks or accomplish any great endeavors, nor to achieve any groundbreaking feats. What God wants is for people to be able to do all they can in a down-to-earth way, and live by His words. God does not need you to be great or noble, or bring about any miracles, nor does He want to see any pleasant surprises in you. He does not need such things. All God needs is for you to practice according to His words in a down-to-earth manner. After you have understood God’s words, act upon them and carry them out, or after you have heard God’s words, remember them well, and when the time comes to practice, do so according to God’s words. Let them become your life, your realities, and what you live out. Thus, God will be satisfied. … You must all be clear about what kind of people God intends to save with His work, and what the meaning of His salvation is. God asks people to come before Him, listen to His words, accept the truth, cast off their corrupt dispositions, and practice as God says and commands. This means living according to His words, as opposed to living by their own notions, imaginings, and satanic philosophies, and pursuing what people call ‘happiness.’ If someone does not listen to God’s words or accept the truth, but still lives by the philosophies of Satan, and lives within satanic dispositions and stubbornly refuses to repent, this kind of person cannot be saved by God. Of course, you follow God because God has chosen you—but what is the meaning of God choosing you? It is to change you into a person who trusts in God, who sincerely follows God, who can forsake everything for God, who is able to follow the way of God, and who has cast off their satanic dispositions, no longer following Satan or living under its power. If you follow God and perform your duty in His house, yet violate the truth in every regard, do not practice or experience according to His words, and even oppose Him, could you be accepted by God? Absolutely not. What do I mean by this? Performing your duty isn’t actually difficult, nor is it hard to do so devotedly and up to standard. You don’t have to sacrifice your life or do anything special or difficult, you merely have to follow the words and instructions of God in a compliant and down-to-earth manner, not having your own ideas or carrying out your own enterprise, but walking the path of pursuing the truth. If people can do this, they will basically have a human likeness. When they have true submission to God, and have become honest people, they will possess the likeness of a true human being” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Proper Fulfillment of Duty Requires Harmonious Cooperation). God asks us to conduct ourselves in a down-to-earth manner, to stand in the proper position of a created being, and to hold to our duties. These are the goals we should pursue, and this is the likeness that a true person should have. If one never pursues the truth and never accepts it, then no matter how great their status or prestige grows, in God’s eyes, they are lowly and worthless, and they cannot receive His approval. I thought about how I once had quite a broad scope of responsibility, but I only pursued reputation and status and didn’t pursue the truth. When I wasn’t elected as a district leader, I used the work to vent my frustrations, and unknowingly, I ended up walking on the path of resisting God, and was dismissed for disrupting and disturbing the church’s work and stubbornly refusing to repent. I also thought about how some antichrists had been leaders and had high status, but they pursued reputation and status, did their duties without seeking principles, and absolutely refused to accept being pruned. In the end, because of their numerous evil deeds, they were expelled and eliminated by the church. From these facts, I saw God’s righteousness. No matter how high a person’s status is or how many people admire them, if they don’t pursue the truth, they will ultimately be eliminated. Whether one has status or whether people admire them is not important, for reputation and status cannot help a person understand the truth and be saved. God measures and determines a person’s outcome based on whether they can ultimately attain the truth, not based on how high their status is. If I believed in God just to pursue the admiration of others and didn’t pursue the truth or focus on seeking the truth to satisfy God’s intentions in the things I encountered, then even if I believed until the end, I would not be able to understand or obtain the truth, and I would still be eliminated. Only those who pursue the truth, fulfill their duties, and submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements are precious in God’s eyes. In God’s house, the church reasonably determines which duties each person is suited for and assigns them accordingly, based on the needs of the work and their strengths and caliber. I should submit to God’s sovereignty, stand in my proper position, and do my best in my current duty. Even if I was the smallest of all in a corner, I should still keep to my duty. Having gained this understanding, I felt more at peace and liberated. So, I prayed to God, “God, I am willing to submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements. Whether or not anyone admires me, no matter what my status is among others, even if my duty is not eye-catching, I will fulfill my duty and do whatever I’m able to do.” I often prayed like this, and slowly, my previous negative, passive, and resistant emotions decreased, and the results of my duties improved little by little.

Soon, our church held a by-election for a leader, and a sister I had once supervised was elected. Afterward, the leaders asked me to be a group leader and to supervise the gathering of a small group. I felt very grateful to God for giving me another opportunity to train, but at the same time, I felt some disappointment, thinking about how I was just a group leader and lacked the glamor that came with being a church leader. I realized that my desire for reputation and status was rearing its head again, so I silently prayed to God in my heart. I thought of God’s words: “As a member of created humanity, you must keep to your proper position, and conduct yourself in a well-behaved manner. Dutifully hold fast to that which is entrusted to you by the Creator. Do not act out of line” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I). “Status is not ordained for people by God; God provides people with the truth, the way, and the life, so that they ultimately become a created being that is up to standard, a small and insignificant created being—not someone who has status and prestige and is revered by thousands of people” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). As I contemplated God’s words, my heart brightened, and I realized that this matter coming upon me was God scrutinizing my heart. In the past, I always sought to be looked up to and valued reputation and status more than life itself. When I learned that I wasn’t elected to be district leader, I neglected my duty and took pleasure from my brothers and sisters’ failures, which delayed the church’s work, leaving an eternal stain. This also left a permanent pain in my heart. Now I clearly understood that compared to status, responsibilities are more important. This time, I must not pursue status like I had done before. I was determined to do my duty properly. Even if I were put in the most inconspicuous corner, I would still do my duty well, be a guileless and dutiful created being, and make up for the debt I owed in the past. I could no longer be Satan’s laughingstock, much less let God down. Moving forward, in my duty, I proactively cooperated with the leaders. I asked what problems in the group needed my help to resolve, and sometimes, when the leaders asked me to check the states of the brothers and sisters, I did so proactively. Practicing in this way made me feel very at ease. Later, I gradually heard that some brothers and sisters around me were being promoted, some of whom were even individuals whose work I had once supervised. Although I felt a bit unsettled at the time, I prayed to God and treated this matter correctly. When seeing some brothers and sisters encountering difficulties, I tried my best to fellowship and help them, and the results of our duties improved more and more. After some time, the church leader told me that I was accepted back into the church. Hearing this news, I had an indescribable feeling in my heart. I felt very emotional, but even more, I felt a sense of self-reproach. I had pursued reputation and status, not walked the right path, and disrupted and disturbed the church’s work, so I was dismissed—this fully revealed God’s righteousness. But God did not eliminate me; instead, He judged me with His words and pruned me through the brothers and sisters around me. His purpose was to allow me to recognize the wrong path I was on and turn back in time, to escape the suffering brought by reputation and status as soon as possible, recover the conscience and reason I ought to have, and live out a human likeness. Yet I didn’t understand God’s heart and almost left Him. I truly felt indebted to God! I saw God’s love, and from the bottom of my heart, I sincerely offered Him my gratitude and praise.

Having experienced these things, I truly felt that no matter what God does, it is always with the hope that people will earnestly repent and walk the right path. Even if someone is dismissed or placed in isolation, God never abandons them but still continues to care for and guide them. He uses various means to awaken people’s hearts and turn them around. Through this experience, I gained some understanding of God’s righteous disposition. When I kept rebelling against and resisting God, His wrath came upon me. He sternly pruned and disciplined me through people, events and things around me, and put me aside; the moment I was willing to repent before Him, God used His words to continue enlightening and guiding me; when I truly turned back to God and practiced according to His words, the church accepted me back. God’s disposition is vivid and real, and His heart in saving people is sincere and good. Thank God!