By Su Wei, China

After I started to believe in God, I saw that church leaders often fellowshipped God’s words with brothers and sisters to resolve their problems and difficulties. So, I believed that people who were leaders in the church understood the truth, were definitely approved of by God, and had hope of receiving salvation. In March 2021, I was elected as a leader in the church. I felt great inside, and thought that if I continued my pursuit in this way, I would have a bright future in God’s house and be able to win God’s approval. However, I didn’t expect that I would later be dismissed for my poor caliber and inability to do real work. This news was like a bolt from the blue, and I couldn’t stop crying. I thought to myself, “Poor caliber is a fatal problem. Doesn’t that mean I won’t have the chance to be a leader in the future?” After more than a month, the church assigned me to be responsible for general affairs work. I felt that being involved in some general affairs all day long would not be beneficial for my life entry. It would not be like doing the duty of a leader, where you could train to fellowship on the truth and solve various problems, obtain more truths, and have a greater chance of being saved. In particular, I felt really bad when I was faced with the sister I had previously cooperated with in leadership duty and heard her talk about handling and resolving some issues in the church. I thought being able to do a leader’s duty like her was really great, but I was only able to do general affairs work, which I didn’t like. When I thought of the upper leaders saying that my caliber was poor and I lacked the conditions to be a leader, I felt agony in my heart, and silently cried. I felt like my future was bleak, and my chances of being saved slim. I couldn’t muster any energy in doing my duty, and just worked mechanically, not achieving any results. Later, I realized that my state was incorrect, and I started to ponder, “Why do I feel a sense of loss when I see others being leaders? What exactly am I pursuing in my belief in God?”

One day, I read two passages of God’s words and gained some understanding of my state. Almighty God says: “When an antichrist is dismissed, their first reaction is like they have been struck by lightning, as if the sky has come crashing down, and their world has collapsed. The thing they’d been able to pin their hopes on is gone, as is their chance at living with all the benefits of status, along with the drive that makes them run amok doing bad things. This is what is most unacceptable to them. … When they think that their hopes of being blessed have been destroyed or that they’ve seriously decreased, it’s as if their head is about to explode, it’s like their heart is being pounded with a hammer, and it’s as painful as being cut with a knife. When they are about to lose the blessing of entering the kingdom of heaven they have so longed for day and night, to them it seems like terrible news that has appeared out of nowhere. Not having any status is, to an antichrist, the same as not having any hope of being blessed, and they become like a walking corpse, their body becomes like an empty shell, devoid of a soul, with nothing to guide their life. They have no hope and nothing to look forward to. When an antichrist faces being exposed and dismissed, the first thing that occurs to them is that they have lost any hope of being blessed. So, at this point, would they just give up? Would they be willing to submit? Would they use this chance to relinquish their desire for blessings, let go of status, willingly be a regular follower, and gladly labor for God and do their duty well? (No.) Could this be a turning point for them? Would this turning point make them develop in a good direction and in a positive way, or would it make them develop in a worse direction and in a negative way? Based on an antichrist’s nature essence, it is evident that being dismissed is absolutely not the beginning of them letting go of their desire for blessings, or the beginning of them loving and seeking the truth. Instead, they will work even harder to fight for the opportunity and hope of being blessed; they will cling to any opportunity that can bring them blessings, that can help them to stage a comeback, and enable them to regain their status. That is why, when facing dismissal, aside from being upset, disappointed, and antagonistic, an antichrist will also fight tooth and nail against being dismissed, and will strive to turn the situation around, to change it” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status or No Hope of Gaining Blessings). “People of this sort don’t pursue the truth, yet still they always want to be promoted and given an important role in God’s house. In their hearts, they believe that the more work capability a person has, the more they receive important positions, the more they are promoted and esteemed in God’s house, the greater their chances are of receiving blessings, a crown, and rewards. They believe that if someone lacks work capability, or doesn’t have a particular forte, then they are not qualified to be blessed. They think that a person’s gifts, fortes, abilities, skills, level of education, work capability, and even the so-called strengths and merits within their humanity that are valued out in the world such as their resolve to outdo others and indomitable attitude, can serve as capital for receiving blessings and rewards. What sort of standard is this? Is it a standard that accords with the truth? (No.) It does not accord with the standards of the truth. So, is this not the logic of Satan? Is this not the logic of a wicked age, and of wicked worldly trends? (It is.) Judging from the logic, methods, and criteria that people like this use to assess things, along with their attitude and approach to these things, it would seem as if they had never heard or read God’s words, that they were completely ignorant of them. But, in fact, they are listening to, reading, and pray-reading God’s words every single day. So why doesn’t their perspective ever change? One thing is for sure—no matter how much they listen to or read God’s words, they will never be certain in their hearts that God’s words are the truth, and that they are the criterion for measuring everything; they will not understand or accept this fact from their hearts. That is why, no matter how absurd and distorted their outlook may be, they will cling to it forever, and no matter how right God’s words are, they will reject and condemn them. This is the vicious nature of antichrists. As soon as they fail to get an important role, and their desires and ambitions go unfulfilled, their cloven feet are revealed, their vicious nature shows itself, and they want to deny God’s existence. Actually, even before denying God’s existence, they deny that God’s words are the truth” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status or No Hope of Gaining Blessings). God exposes that once antichrists are dismissed, they believe they have no hope of gaining blessings. Not only are they unable to submit and reflect on themselves, they even become negative and resist instead, nursing wild delusions of staging a comeback and regaining status. Antichrists use satanic logic to measure people, events, and things. They believe that the more they are promoted and valued by the house of God, the greater their chance of receiving blessings and a crown. As I pondered God’s words, I realized that my behavior after being dismissed was exactly like that of an antichrist, and my perspective on things was exactly the same as that of an antichrist. I thought about why I cared so much about the status of being a leader. It was because I believed that if I was promoted to be a leader in God’s house, I could train in using the truth to solve problems every day, my life growth would be fast, and I would have a greater opportunity to be saved and gain blessings. When I was elected to be a leader, I felt very happy, and thought that my belief in God had a bright future. During the time I was a leader, I bore all the hard work uncomplainingly and carefully protected my status as a leader, terrified of being revealed and dismissed. When I heard the leaders say while dismissing me that I had poor caliber and lacked the necessary conditions to be a leader, I believed that poor caliber was a fatal problem, and that I might never have the chance to be promoted and valued again in the future, so my heart was in great pain. I felt that my future as a believer in God was bleak and that my hope of receiving blessings was slim. Because I had these mistaken thoughts and ideas, when the leaders assigned me to do general affairs duty, I believed that this duty just meant being busy with external matters every day and was not beneficial to me obtaining the truth and being saved. I disliked it from the bottom of my heart, and couldn’t muster any energy in my duty. I realized that what I pursued in my belief in God was status and blessings. I equated status with blessings, and once I lost my status, I felt that I had lost all hope of gaining blessings, and I suffered unbearable pain in my heart. I had been weighing things up from a satanic perspective. In the nonbelieving world, it is the case that the more you are promoted, the more prospects for development you have. I believed that it was the same in God’s house, and that being promoted to be a leader meant a greater opportunity to be saved and gain blessings. This is not at all consistent with God’s words. Whether or not you can be saved in your belief in God has nothing to do with what duty you do or whether you have status. Duty is a responsibility that a created being should fulfill; it is a perfectly natural and justified thing. It should not be used as a bargaining chip to obtain blessings or rewards. However, when I was assigned to do general affairs duty, I believed that this duty was not beneficial to me gaining blessings in my belief in God so I complained about God and didn’t bear a burden in my duty. I even thought about giving up my duty. I realized that my own nature was just as selfish and self-serving as that of an antichrist. As soon as I couldn’t obtain blessings, I could turn away from God and betray Him at any time. It was so dangerous!

Later, I read another two passages of God’s words and gained some understanding of what it means to be saved. Almighty God says: “Many people cannot see clearly what it means to attain salvation. Some people think that if they have believed in God for a long time, then they’ll probably be saved. Some people think that if they understand a lot of spiritual doctrines, then they’ll probably be saved. And some think that if they become leaders and workers, they’ll certainly be saved. These are all human notions and imaginings. The key thing is that people must understand what attaining salvation means. Attaining salvation primarily means to break free from sin and from Satan’s influence, and genuinely turn to God and submit to God. What must people possess to break free from sin and from Satan’s influence? The truth. In order to gain the truth, people must equip themselves with many of God’s words, and they must be able to experience God’s words and put them into practice, so that they can understand the truth and enter into reality—only then will they be saved. Whether or not one can be saved has nothing to do with how long they have believed in God, how advanced their knowledge is, whether they possess gifts and strengths, or how much they suffer. The only thing that has a direct relationship to attaining salvation is whether or not a person gains the truth. So, how many truths have you now understood at heart? And how many of God’s words have become your life? Of all of God’s requirements, into which have you gained entry? After believing in God for so many years, how much of the reality of God’s words have you entered into? If you don’t know, or if you have not gained entry into the reality of any of God’s words, then let Me tell you something true: Your hope of being saved is nil—you cannot possibly attain salvation. Even though you may be highly knowledgeable, have believed in God for a long time, have good looks, and can speak eloquently, and have even been a leader or worker for several years—if you don’t pursue the truth and do not properly practice and experience God’s words, and you don’t have any genuine experiential testimony, then your hope of being saved remains nil” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Treasuring God’s Words Is the Foundation of Belief in God). “Whether a person can ultimately attain salvation is not dependent on what duty they do, but on whether they can understand and gain the truth, and ultimately achieve absolute submission to God and put themselves at the mercy of His orchestration, no longer give consideration to their future and destiny, and become a created being that is up to standard. God is righteous and holy, He uses this standard to measure all mankind, and this standard will never change—you must remember this. Keep this standard firmly in your mind, and never think of leaving the path of pursuing the truth to pursue those unreal things. God’s required standard for all who are to be saved is forever unchanging. It remains the same no matter who you are” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). After pondering God’s words, I understood that God measures whether or not a person will be saved not based on what duty they do, how much they suffer, or what gifts or skills they have, but according to whether they can understand the truth, obtain the truth, and submit absolutely to God’s orchestration and arrangements. God has never said that leaders have a greater hope of salvation. The key thing is to look at what path a person walks. Being a leader means you come into contact with many people and encounter many things. If you can focus on pursuing the truth, you will have more opportunities to gain the truth, and can enter into the truth reality as soon as possible and be saved. If you do not pursue the truth, and are only content with equipping yourself with some words and doctrines without accepting the truth or practicing God’s words, then no matter how many years you do the duty of a leader for, you will not attain salvation. In addition, doing other duties does not mean that you have a smaller chance of salvation. No matter what duty you do, as long as you focus on pursuing the truth and resolving your corrupt dispositions, view people and things, and conduct yourself and act in accordance with God’s words, and enter into the reality of God’s words, you will have a chance of salvation. Just as God says: “These people who are promoted and cultivated can merely enter into the truth reality earlier because of their caliber and because of their various conditions. However, this early entry does not mean that they are the only ones who can enter into the truth reality. It just means that they can gain a little more earlier, and can enter into the truth reality a little earlier. Those who have not been promoted will lag behind them a little, but this doesn’t mean that they cannot enter the truth reality. Whether someone can enter into the truth reality or not depends on their pursuits” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (5)). I thought of the leaders I knew from before. Some of them had some caliber and gifts, and often resolved the problems and difficulties of their brothers and sisters. However, they themselves did not practice the truth, and did their duty in reliance on their corrupt dispositions. They disrupted and disturbed the work of the church, stubbornly refused to repent, and were ultimately cleared out. In contrast, some brothers and sisters do inconspicuous duties, but they focus on seeking the truth, practice as much as they understand, do their duties well to the best of their abilities, and protect the work of the church. After a period of time, they are able to make progress in their duties and life entry, and they can obtain the truth and gain God’s approval just the same. Whether a person can be approved of by God does not depend on what level of leader they are, but is determined by their attitude toward God, the truth, and their duty; it depends on whether they walk the path of pursuing the truth. From this I saw the holiness and righteousness of God’s disposition. Everyone is equal before the truth, and if you don’t pursue the truth, and don’t practice the truth, then no matter how great a leader you are, you will ultimately fail to stand firm. When I understood this, my heart brightened. Although my caliber is average, I can understand God’s words, and no matter what duty I do, as long as I focus on seeking the truth and practicing the truth, I have hope of being saved.

Next, I read another two passages of God’s words and came to understand what I should pursue in my faith. Almighty God says: “Seeking to actively perform one’s duty as a created being is the path to success; the path of pursuing true love for God is the most correct path; pursuing changes in one’s old disposition and pure love for God is the path to success. Such a path to success is the path of the recovery of the original duty as well as the original appearance of a created being. It is the path of recovery, and it is also the aim of all of God’s work from beginning to end. If the pursuit of man is tainted with personal extravagant demands and unreasonable longings, and the effect that it achieves is not changes in man’s disposition, then this is at odds with the work of recovery. It is undoubtedly not work done by the Holy Spirit, and so this proves that pursuit of this kind is not approved of by God. What significance has a pursuit that is not approved of by God?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Success or Failure Depends on the Path One Walks). “As a created being, man should seek to know the Creator and fulfill the duty of a created being, and, most importantly, seek to love God without making other choices at all, for God is worthy of man’s love. Those who pursue a love for God should not pursue any personal benefits or personal hopes; this is the most correct way to pursue. If what you pursue is the truth, if what you put into practice is the truth, and if what you attain is a change in your disposition, then the path that you tread is the right one. If what you pursue is the blessings of the flesh, and what you put into practice is the truth of your own notions, and if there is no change at all in your disposition, and you are not at all submissive to God in the flesh, and you still live in vagueness, then what you pursue will surely take you to hell, for the path that you walk is the path of failure. Whether you will be made perfect or eliminated depends on your own pursuit, which is also to say that success or failure depends on the path one walks” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Success or Failure Depends on the Path One Walks). After pondering God’s words, I understood that what path you take in believing in God is extremely important. God requires people to fulfill their duty as created beings, and, like Peter, pursue understanding God and loving God. Only in this way can one achieve a change in disposition and submit to all of God’s orchestration and arrangements; one should not work and expend themselves only to obtain blessings and crowns like Paul. Paul’s pursuit was contrary to God’s requirements. He believed to the end, but achieved no change in his disposition, was still full of demands and requirements of God, and his nature was still one of resistance to God. I was walking on Paul’s failed path. I had always believed that being a leader would give me many opportunities to train, giving me more hope of being saved. Therefore, I constantly wanted to be a leader. What I pursued in my belief in God was to obtain blessings and a crown instead of pursuing the truth and changes in my disposition. So, when I was dismissed because of my poor caliber, and I felt that I might never have an opportunity to be a leader again and my hopes of gaining blessings were slim, I became negative and lazed around, neglecting my duty. If I continued down this mistaken path, and didn’t pursue the truth, my life disposition would not change, and I would show no submission to God’s orchestration and arrangements at all. In the end, wouldn’t my outcome be exactly the same as Paul’s? When I understood this, I thanked God from the bottom of my heart for revealing me, which allowed me to recognize my mistaken pursuit. This was His salvation of me! When I understood this, I no longer felt distressed over the fact that my caliber is poor and I lack the conditions necessary to be a leader. I am a created being, and should not pursue blessings or try to bargain with God. Instead, I should fulfill my duty as a created being and strive to love and submit to God. Only this is the right path in life and the way a created being should be. After that, my attitude toward general affairs duty became more proper, and I was able to do my duties in a down-to-earth way. Once my state turned around, my work efficiency also improved a bit.

Afterward, whenever my general affairs duty got busy, I still felt that this duty mainly involved being busy with external matters and would not be beneficial for my life entry. However, I knew that this view was incorrect, and so I sought how I should focus on life entry while doing this duty. I read a passage of God’s words: “Do you experience states where, no matter what happens to you, or what sort of duty you perform, you are able to often quiet yourselves before God, and to put your hearts into contemplating His words, and into seeking the truth, and into pondering how you can perform that duty in a way that accords with God’s intentions, and what truths you should possess in order to perform that duty up to standard? Are there many times in which you seek the truth in this way? (No.) Putting your heart into your duty and being able to bear responsibility require you to endure hardship and to pay a price—it is not enough simply to talk about these things. If you do not put your heart into your duty, always wanting to exert effort instead, then your duty will certainly not be done well. You will simply go through the motions and nothing more, and you will not know whether you have done your duty well or not. If you put your heart into it, you will gradually come to understand the truth; if you do not, then you will not. When you put your heart into performing your duty and pursuing the truth, you will gradually come to understand God’s intentions, to discover your own corruption and deficiencies, and to get a handle on all your various states. When your only focus is on exerting effort, and you do not put your heart into reflecting on yourself, you will be unable to discover the true states in your heart and the various reactions and the revelations of corruption that you have in different environments. If you do not know what the consequences will be when problems go unresolved, then you’re in a lot of trouble. Therefore, believing in God in a muddled way is unacceptable. You must live before God at all times, in all places; whatever happens to you, you must always seek the truth, and while you do, you must also reflect on yourself and know what problems there are in your state, and seek the truth at once to resolve them. Only thus can you perform your duty well and avoid delaying the work of the church. Most importantly, not only will you perform your duty well, but you’ll also have life entry and be able to resolve your corrupt dispositions. Only thus can you enter into the truth reality” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Being an Honest Person Can One Live Out True Human Likeness). From God’s words, I realized that obtaining the truth and attaining salvation does not depend on what duties we do. Instead, it depends on whether we seek the truth principles in doing our duties, reflect on our own corruption and deficiencies, and seek the truth to resolve our own problems, thereby achieving life entry in doing our duty. If we focus on seeking the truth and practicing God’s words in doing our duties, then we can obtain the truth no matter what duty we do. For example, I am now more involved in general affairs work. If I do everything in a perfunctory and muddled way, and do not approach it conscientiously, I am liable to bring harm to the interests of the church. Moreover, doing general affairs duty does not mean living in a vacuum. I still encounter some people, events, and things every day, revealing all manner of active thoughts. If I can focus on reflecting on and knowing myself through the corrupt dispositions, thoughts, and ideas I reveal every day, and enter into truth reality, I will be able to learn many lessons and obtain the truth. When I understood this, I felt much more at ease.

Afterward, when doing my duty I focused on examining my thoughts and ideas every day. When I was pruned, I also actively sought the truth and watched experiential testimonies of brothers and sisters, watching how others reflected on themselves and learned lessons when things came upon them. For example, previously, my brothers and sisters pointed out that I had an arrogant disposition and tended to argue back when things came upon me. I accepted this, reflected on and came to know myself, and found words of God in this aspect to read. I also opened up to my brothers and sisters and sought how to resolve my problem of tending to argue back. I also often make time to write experiential testimony articles, and have gained a clearer and more profound understanding of my satanic corrupt disposition. I feel at peace and at ease in my heart when I do my duty in this way. The more I train in this way, the sharper my spirit becomes. I am more able to discover problems in my duty promptly, and I have God’s leadership and blessing in doing my duty. Thank God!