By Shu Qin, China

In 2021, I was elected as a leader. Due to work requirements, I took responsibility at another church later. Noticing that the church’s work wasn’t very effective, I thought, “The leaders who arranged for me to come to this church must value me highly and hope I can turn the work of this church around, so I have to do well and make the leaders see I can do some actual work.” Next, I went to each group at the church to learn about the work situation and resolve the difficulties and problems of brothers and sisters in their duties. Some brothers and sisters were in a bad state, so I lovingly helped and supported them. When I found unsuitable people in jobs, I discussed with the brothers and sisters I was partnered with and quickly transferred or replaced them according to principles. After some time, the work of the church had improved somewhat. I was very happy, and I couldn’t help thinking, “It seems I can do some actual work. I have to keep working hard and produce better results so my brothers and sisters see I have the ability to work and say I am a good leader.”

One day, while we went over some work, I noticed that the effectiveness of watering work had significantly declined. Several newcomers weren’t coming to gatherings. I thought, “All the other work is more effective now, but the effectiveness of watering work has declined. I can’t let watering work affect the overall results, or everyone will say I’m an incapable leader, and won’t look at me in the same way again.” So, I quickly went to the watering staff to look into it. I learned then that the group leader, Sister Wu Wen, didn’t consider newcomers’ real difficulties when she arranged their gatherings and duties. She arranged gatherings when some newcomers had to work, so they were unable to attend. Hearing this made me feel a little angry. I thought, “I clearly told her we need to consider newcomers’ situations when we arrange gatherings and duties for them. Why can’t she understand things thoroughly and apply things flexibly? It seems that she doesn’t have the caliber to water newcomers. She is the group leader, and if she deviates in her practice, it will affect the effectiveness of the whole group. She needs to be dismissed immediately. If I don’t dismiss her, the work results will never improve. Not only will it hinder the church’s work, but my superiors, brothers, and sisters will think I’m incapable of work or resolving actual problems. I can’t have people questioning my competence.” So, I raised Wu Wen’s dismissal with my co-workers. The watering deacon said, “Wu Wen was effective at watering newcomers in the past. She could be in a bad state recently, and might have been a little too hasty when training the newcomers, which led to problems. We should learn about her situation and then fellowship and help her. If she doesn’t change after some time passes, we can dismiss her then.” But I didn’t listen at all. I just thought, “Wu Wen didn’t just start watering newcomers. I’ve also reminded her of this before. I think she doesn’t accept reminders and help. If we don’t dismiss her promptly, and there is a delay or work is impacted, I’m the one who’ll be held responsible. No matter what, this time I need to make them agree with me and dismiss Wu Wen.” So, I said angrily, “Wu Wen is ineffective in her duty—this proves that she is incompetent and unsuitable for this duty. If you keep her, and the results of our work don’t improve, which of you can bear that responsibility? You can help her without me!” When they saw my attitude, my co-workers didn’t say anything.

Later, I heard Wu Wen was very negative after being replaced. She felt we’d dismissed her based on momentary behavior, rather than a balanced evaluation of her consistent behavior, and that this kind of dismissal was inconsistent with principles. Yet not only did I not seek the truth and reflect on myself, I felt Wu Wen’s stature was too small, and that she couldn’t know herself or learn lessons from things, so I didn’t take it seriously at all.

After Wu Wen was dismissed, we chose Sister Zhen Xin as the group leader. I happily thought, “Now watering work should be more effective.” But after some time, I found that Zhen Xin’s ability to work was rather poor, and she wasn’t as responsible as Wu Wen. She couldn’t grasp newcomers’ states in time, and she didn’t know how to fellowship to solve their problems. As a result, after some time, the watering work still didn’t improve. I started to feel uneasy, and wondered if dismissing Wu Wen had been a mistake. With things at this point, however, I decided to fellowship and give further help to Zhen Xin, to see if her results could be improved.

As more newcomers came to the church, the top priority was to train more watering staff quickly. So I quickly began looking for candidates. I thought of Sister Chen Chen, who had recently been dismissed. She had preached the gospel before and had produced some results. She was friendly and good at communicating with people, so if we trained her, the watering work would improve, and my superiors would definitely say I had good caliber and was competent. So, I asked the watering deacon to focus on cultivating Chen Chen. The watering deacon said, “We thought of arranging things like that, but we saw that Chen Chen still had no self-knowledge after she was dismissed. When she was preaching the gospel, she had always competed for fame and gain, and seeded jealousy and disputes, making it impossible for others to perform their duties normally. If we train her to water newcomers now, won’t she just do more wickedness and cause more disruptions? Watering is one of the most important tasks—those trained for it must have good humanity and must not disrupt the church’s work. We have to do things according to principle!” Her words made me anxious. I thought, “Chen Chen is friendly and has caliber. Training her to water newcomers is certain to quickly make work more effective. If we decide not to train her now because she seems to lack genuine repentance, my leaders won’t be able to see my work ability. That’s no good. I have to convince them to do what I want. I can’t just give in.” So, I said to the watering deacon, “Is now the time to be blindly following rules? The principles also say those who transgressed in the past should be given the opportunity to repent. Chen Chen is friendly and has the caliber to water newcomers, so we can train her. We just need to watch her closely and not let her cause disturbances. Chen Chen has good caliber and learns quickly. Having one more skilled waterer will solve many problems for the church!” When the watering deacon saw my stubborn attitude, she didn’t say anything more.

But a few days later, the watering deacon reported that Chen Chen didn’t learn about the notions and confusion of newcomers before watering them and didn’t offer targeted fellowship and solutions. Instead, she insisted on fellowshipping based on her own ideas. This had caused two newcomers to become opposed, resistant, and stop believing. I felt a little uneasy—with Chen Chen’s caliber, she shouldn’t have done such a thing. Later, when I spoke to Chen Chen, I realized that she was only outwardly proactive in her duties. She had no understanding of her past transgressions, and after such a major problem occurred in her watering work, she didn’t reflect on herself and learn a lesson from it. She was numb. Only now did I have some awareness that maybe I had been too hasty in cultivating her, and maybe she needed to continue to reflect. But on second thought, Chen Chen had good caliber and had been a leader, so if I helped her more, she should be able to quickly understand herself and turn things around. All I had to do was train her and improve the results of watering work, and my leaders would approve of me.

Just as I was expecting good results, my partnered sister said to me one morning, “The brothers and sisters have written to say that you haven’t been performing your duty according to principles. You forcibly arranged Chen Chen, who was still in isolation and reflection, to do watering work. During this time, Chen Chen has had many problems when watering newcomers, and she hasn’t reflected or shown awareness of herself at all. Looking at her consistent behavior, she is completely unsuitable for cultivation, and they recommend that she continue to self-isolate and reflect.” When I heard what she said, my heart skipped a beat. “It’s over. This isn’t just simple feedback—this is reporting me and exposing me for not doing my duty according to principles. I have believed in God for years, and I’ve never been reported by anyone. What will my brothers and sisters think of me now?” At the time, I was very embarrassed. I picked up my cup and drank a few gulps of water, trying to calm myself, but my heart was as turbulent as a stormy sea: “If my leaders find out about the contents of that letter, they will surely say I don’t do my duty in line with principles, and that I am disrupting church work. Will they dismiss me over this?” My mind was in turmoil. In the end, I slumped into my chair like a deflated ball. When my partner saw my state, she said, “Being monitored and exposed by our brothers and sisters is helpful for us. You should accept it from God.” I promised to accept it from God, but I couldn’t calm my mind. The whole day, I couldn’t eat or sleep. The thought of how the facts of my behavior were exposed in this letter pierced my heart. I fell to my knees and prayed to God, “God! I know You have goodwill in letting this happen to me. Please guide me in understanding Your intention and learning lessons from it.”

As I reflected and sought, I gained some knowledge of my state through reading God’s words. Almighty God says: “No matter what it is they’re doing, antichrists always have their own aims and intentions, they are always acting according to their own plan, and their attitude toward the arrangements and work of the house of God is, ‘You may have a thousand plans, but I have one rule’; this is all determined by the nature of antichrists. Can antichrists change their mentality and act according to the truth principles? That would be absolutely impossible…. No matter what duty antichrists perform, they always stick to the same principle: They must make some gain in terms of reputation, status, or their interests, and they must not incur any losses. The kind of work antichrists like most is when they don’t have to suffer or pay any price, and there is a benefit to their reputation and status. In sum, no matter what they’re doing, antichrists first consider their own interests, and they only act once they’ve thought it all out; they do not truly, sincerely, and absolutely submit to the truth without compromise, but do so selectively and conditionally. What condition is this? It is that their status and reputation must be safeguarded, and must not suffer any loss. Only after this condition is satisfied will they decide and choose what to do. That is, antichrists give serious consideration to how to treat the truth principles, God’s commissions, and the work of God’s house, or how to deal with the things they face. They do not consider how to satisfy God’s intentions, how to keep from damaging the interests of God’s house, how to satisfy God, or how to benefit the brothers and sisters; these are not the things they consider. What do antichrists consider? Whether their own status and reputation will be affected, and whether their prestige will be lowered. If doing something according to the truth principles benefits the work of the church and the brothers and sisters, but would cause their own reputation to suffer and cause many people to realize their true stature and know what sort of nature essence they have, then they will definitely not act in accordance with the truth principles. If doing some real work will cause more people to think highly of them, look up to them and admire them, allow them to gain even greater prestige, or enable their words to carry authority and make more people submit to them, then they will choose to do it that way; otherwise, they will never choose to disregard their own interests out of consideration for the interests of God’s house or of the brothers and sisters. This is the nature essence of antichrists” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). From what was revealed in God’s word, I understood that everything antichrists do is to protect their own reputation and status. In matters that don’t involve their reputation and status, they can act by the truth principles, but if acting by the truth principles threatens their reputation and status, antichrists will blatantly violate principles and act arbitrarily according to their own ideas. They would prefer to harm the church’s interests to safeguard their own. I reflected on all I’d done since becoming a leader, and saw it was the same as the antichrists’ behavior revealed by God’s word. I’d always wanted to achieve something quickly, to prove I was competent and could do actual work—in this way, my superiors, brothers, and sisters would see making me a leader was the right choice. So, when I selected and used people, I didn’t seek the truth principles at all, I didn’t think about how to benefit the church’s work, I didn’t listen to others’ advice, and I insisted on deciding by myself. When I’d seen that Wu Wen wasn’t arranging gatherings and duties reasonably for newcomers based on their actual situations, I hadn’t asked about her state and difficulties, nor had I worked with her to find the root of the problems and enter into principles so that she could avoid making the same mistakes. Seeing that she produced no results in her duty, and how that would damage my reputation and status, I had unfairly labeled her, excluded her, and had wanted to dismiss her. To protect my reputation and status, I’d ignored principles and the advice of my co-workers and forcibly removed her. I’d shown no love or patience for her, and hadn’t fellowshipped on the truth to help her. I had just directly dismissed her. I was truly lacking in humanity! After dismissing her, the new sister I had selected couldn’t do the work, which directly impacted the results of the watering work. Even then, I didn’t reflect on myself. For quick improvement in the results of the work, and to have the leaders’ approval, I’d violated principles again—promoting and cultivating someone who’d disturbed the church’s work. I’d even taken things out of context, and absurdly said we should give her a chance to repent. I’d criticized the watering deacon for blindly following rules, making her afraid to refute me. The result was that Chen Chen wasn’t suitable at all, and had harmed the watering work. I saw that for the sake of my own reputation and status, I pursued quick success in my duty, and ignored the principles of God’s house and the reminders of others. Even after being reported and exposed, I didn’t reflect on the reasons for my failures—what I worried about was how the leaders saw me. I stubbornly protected my reputation and status, and would rather let the church’s interests suffer to safeguard my own. What I displayed was the disposition of an antichrist!

Later, I read another passage of God’s word that gave me some insight into the nature of my actions. God says: “If someone says they love the truth and that they pursue the truth, but in essence, the goal they pursue is to distinguish themselves, to show off, to make people think highly of them, to achieve their own interests, and the performing of their duty is not to submit to or satisfy God, and instead is to achieve fame, gain, and status, then their pursuit is illegitimate. That being the case, when it comes to the work of the church, are their actions an obstacle, or do they help move it forward? They are clearly an obstacle; they do not move it forward. Some people wave the banner of doing the work of the church yet pursue their own personal fame, gain, and status, run their own operation, create their own little group, their own little kingdom—is this kind of person doing their duty? All the work they do essentially disrupts, disturbs, and impairs the work of the church. What is the consequence of their pursuit of fame, gain, and status? First, this affects how God’s chosen people eat and drink God’s word normally and understand the truth, it hinders their life entry, stops them from entering the right track of faith in God, and leads them onto the wrong path—which harms the chosen ones, and brings them to ruin. And what does it ultimately do to the work of the church? It is disturbance, impairment, and dismantlement” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part One)). After reading God’s word, I understood that when we pursue personal reputation and status under the banner of doing our duty, we are in essence acting as Satan’s servants and disrupting the church’s work. God’s word revealed the essence of my actions. God has shown grace to me in giving me the opportunity to be a church leader, and He hoped I would be considerate of His intentions and water my brothers and sisters well, solve their difficulties and problems in life entry, and train suitable people to do the various work of the church and ensure church work proceeds normally. But I didn’t consider God’s intentions and requirements, and I didn’t fulfill my responsibilities as a leader. When I selected and used people, I only considered my own interests. As a result, the waterer I had promoted and cultivated wasn’t suitable for the work. Not only were newcomers poorly watered, but the watering work was also hindered, causing the newcomers to become negative and withdraw. How was this performing my duty? I was disrupting the church’s work, and I was doing evil! Even like this, I had no awareness—I was too selfish and too numb! I thought of the antichrists and wicked people who were expelled from the church. They were always plotting for their own benefit, they ignored the truth principles to maintain their reputation and status, they did their duties arbitrarily and wantonly, seriously disturbed the church’s work, and finally, because of their many wicked deeds, they were detested and eliminated by God. Was there any difference in substance between what I did and the deeds of these antichrists? When I recognized this, I was terrified, and I prayed to God, “God, I was negligent in my duty. I pursued fame, status, and quick success, and I took the wrong path. God, I wish to repent to You. Please lead and guide me.”

Later, through reflection and seeking, I realized that to be effective in our duty, we must have the right intentions, focus on seeking the truth, and act according to principles. Only then can we receive God’s guidance, and continuously improve in our results. As God says: “When you receive a commission from God and aim to fulfill your duty and complete your mission, you must first understand God’s intention. You need to know that this commission comes from God, that it’s His intention, and you should accept it, be considerate of it, and, more importantly, submit to it. Secondly, you should seek out which truths you need to understand to perform this duty, which principles you should follow, and how to practice in a way that benefits God’s chosen people and the work of God’s house. These are the principles of practice. After understanding God’s intention, you should promptly seek and understand the truths related to performing this duty and, after understanding the truth, ascertain the principles and path of practicing these truths. What do ‘principles’ refer to? Specifically, a principle refers to something upon which achieving a target or producing results must be based when practicing the truth. … One must grasp the principles in order to practice the truth: Principles are the key, the most basic element. Once you’ve grasped the fundamental principles of performing your duty, it shows that you understand the required standards for performing that duty. Mastering these principles is equivalent to knowing how to practice the truth. So, on what basis is this ability to practice established? It is on the foundation of understanding God’s intention and the truth. Is it considered understanding the truth if you only know a sentence of what God requires? No, it isn’t. What standards must be met to be considered understanding the truth? You must understand the meaning and value of performing your duty and, once you have been clear about these two aspects, you have understood the truth of performing your duty. Furthermore, after understanding the truth, you must also grasp the principles of performing your duty and the paths of practice. Once you can grasp and apply the principles of performing your duty, and sometimes apply a little wisdom, you can ensure the effectiveness of performing your duty. By grasping these principles and acting according to them, you can be up to practicing the truth. If you perform your duty without mingling any human intentions, if it is done by absolutely submitting to God’s requirements and according to the work arrangements of God’s house, fully aligning with God’s words, then you have fulfilled your duty in a fully qualified manner, and even if there might be some discrepancies in the results compared to God’s requirements, this still counts as achieving God’s requirements. If you perform your duty fully in accordance with the principles, if you are loyal, all to the best of your ability, then your performance of duty completely aligns with God’s intention. You have fulfilled your duty as a created being with all your heart, mind, and strength, which is the result achieved by practicing the truth” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item One: They Try to Win Over People’s Hearts). God’s words are very clear. When we accept God’s commission, we must first seek God’s intentions, seek the principles we should enter in our duty, reach an understanding of the truth, submit to God, and strictly follow the truth principles in our duty. In addition, when doing our duty, we must consider the church’s interests, examine ourselves often, and not scheme for personal gain. This reduces the adulteration of our own ideas, and the errors we make in our duties. I thought of how I had been acting solely for fame and status in my duty—I seldom sought the truth principles, and even when I knew a little, I didn’t obey. In choosing watering staff, the key qualities needed are to fellowship the truth clearly, have patience, and be responsible. Wu Wen was responsible in her duty, and was loving and patient with newcomers. No matter what states or difficulties newcomers had, she could actively fellowship and solve problems. She had also grasped some of the principles of watering newcomers. In the past, she had been effective in her duty, and she’d only made some mistakes recently due to some actual difficulties she couldn’t handle. In this situation, I should have offered fellowship and help out of love—either that, or pruned, exposed, and rebuked her—rather than just carelessly dismissing her. Also, when I’d seen that Chen Chen was enthusiastic and friendly on the outside, I’d imagined that she was suitable for cultivation. Now I realized this wasn’t in line with principles. Those who are isolated for self-reflection can be assigned to spread the gospel and water newcomers if they don’t cause disruption or interruptions, but people with bad humanity who do evil and disturb the church’s work cannot be cultivated whatsoever. Chen Chen’s desire for name and status was strong, and she had often fought for them in the past, disturbing the church’s work. After being dismissed and isolated to self-reflect, she never showed any genuine understanding of her past transgressions. Such people cannot be important targets for cultivation. I had violated principle by promoting and cultivating Chen Chen, causing delays to the watering work. I didn’t understand the principles of dismissing and using people, and had been working for fame and status. This had disrupted and hindered the church’s work, and had harmed the life entry of my brothers and sisters. Thinking about this, I was filled with regret. Later, I read a passage of God’s word: “In God’s house, no matter what you do, you are not working on your own enterprise; it is the work of God’s house, it is God’s work. You must constantly bear this knowledge and awareness in mind and say, ‘This is not my own affair; I am doing my duty and fulfilling my responsibility. I am doing the church’s work. This is a task God entrusted to me and I am doing it for Him. This is my duty, not my own private affair.’ This is the first thing people should understand. If you treat a duty as your own personal affairs, and do not seek the truth principles when you act, and carry it out according to your own motives, views, and agenda, then you will very likely make mistakes. So how should you act if you make a very clear distinction between your duty and your own personal affairs, and are aware that this is a duty? (Seek what God asks, and seek principles.) That’s right. If something happens to you and you don’t understand the truth, and you have some idea but things still aren’t clear to you, then you must find brothers and sisters who understand the truth to fellowship with; this is seeking the truth, and before all else, this is the attitude you should have toward your duty. You shouldn’t decide things based on what you think is appropriate, and then slam the gavel down and say case closed—this easily leads to problems. A duty is not your own personal affair; whether major or minor, matters of God’s house are no one’s personal affair. As long as it relates to duty, then it is not your private matter, it is not your personal affair—it concerns the truth, and it concerns principle. So what is the first thing you should do? You should seek the truth, and seek the principles. And if you do not understand the truth, you must first seek the principles; if you already understand the truth, identifying the principles will be easy” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). God’s word gave me a path of practice. Duties are commissions from God, not personal affairs, so we can’t do them however we like to satisfy our personal interests. In everything, we must seek the truth principles and practice according to God’s requirements. If we don’t understand, we should fellowship and seek more with others. No matter what others think, all we need to do is accept God’s scrutiny and do our best. Even if there are sometimes deviations or errors in our work, and we don’t achieve good results quickly, but if we work to satisfy God, and not for others to see, we are walking the right path, and God will guide us. Later, I opened up about myself to my brothers and sisters, exposing how I had been doing my duty for reputation and status, my desire for quick success, my violations of principle in selecting and using people, as well as how I had acted arbitrarily and used my position to scold others, which caused them harm. I solemnly apologized to them and asked them to monitor me more. When I practiced like this, my brothers and sisters didn’t look down on me, they encouraged me, and said we could supervise each other and work together to perform our duties well.

Before long, something else happened. The gospel deacon was temporarily unable to do her duty due to obstruction by her family. After I heard the news, I was a little anxious. I thought, “Now, every church is doing all it can to preach the gospel—at this point, if the gospel deacon can’t perform her duty, our work will be greatly affected! If I don’t replace her in time, our results will never improve. My superiors will definitely think I’m incompetent.” So, I discussed with my partnered sister whether to transfer the gospel deacon and find someone to take her place. She said, “The gospel deacon has always been responsible and a capable worker, and the results of gospel work have been good. If you transfer her just because she can’t break free from the shackles of her family for a while, that would go against principles.” Just when I was about to argue my case, I immediately thought about how I had forcibly replaced Wu Wen. Wasn’t I acting to protect my reputation and status again? My partner was reminding me that I should perform my duty according to principles. I had nearly made another major mistake. As I thanked God in my heart, I said to her, “My intentions are wrong. I would be transferring her without principles, and working for fame and status again. She is indeed responsible, and is a correct person. If she can’t do her work right now, then we’ll pick up the slack and do the gospel work. Let’s also learn more about her situation and try to support and help her.” After hearing me, my partner nodded in agreement, and I felt at ease practicing this way.

Now, when I do my duty, I often ask myself, “Have I performed my duty today according to the truth principles? Did I do things with a corrupt disposition in my interactions with people?” If I do something not in line with principles and God’s intentions, I pray to God to promptly rectify it. When I practice like this, I see God’s guidance, church work improves a little, and my brothers and sisters can actively perform their duties. Thank God!