By Caitlyn, USA

In mid-May 2021, a church leader suddenly came to talk to me and asked me if I knew much about Sister Lilah, if she was fair toward others, and if she was ever judgmental. She looked so stern that I asked her right away what was going on. She said that Lilah had a really arrogant disposition and had said judgmental things about several leaders in front of the brothers and sisters, saying they were false leaders. She also said that Lilah was a smooth talker, and in gatherings she went on about her self-knowledge, but didn’t actually understand herself at all. She said most of the brothers and sisters couldn’t see Lilah for what she was, and that they liked her fellowship. I immediately thought of how some of the antichrists who’d been kicked out of the church had done the same thing, judging leaders and workers. It’s one thing to say one leader here or there is false, but saying several of them are false is arrogant. At the time, I said, “The fact that she can say these things is a serious matter. Aren’t the judgments she makes the same as those antichrists make?” I also remembered how at the leaders’ election last year, Lilah was secretly discussing one of the candidates with another sister, saying the candidate cared too much about face and status, did things just for show, and didn’t do any real work. I couldn’t help but start to feel biased against Lilah and thought she really was judgmental.

Then, the leader urged me to write an evaluation of Lilah. I thought back to my recent interactions with her, when some brothers and sisters called her out for some things. Although she was defensive at first, she later reflected and had some change and entry, and was able to accept the truth. In conversations with her, I could see she cared about self-reflection and self-knowledge, and that she prayed, sought the truth principles, and looked up God’s words to enter in. I felt she was a seeker of the truth. But when I thought about how the leader said Lilah had an arrogant disposition, was a smooth talker, good at misleading people, and was now casually judging leaders and workers, if I said in my evaluation that she was someone who could accept and pursue the truth, would the leader say I lacked discernment and was a fool? If I left the leader with a bad impression, she might not let me perform certain duties in the future. With that in mind, I said in my evaluation that Lilah had an arrogant disposition, and would sometimes judge people for things that were figments of her own imagination. I said that she struggled to accept the truth, and tended to make justifications for herself when people confronted her with problems. I also mentioned some of the corruptions she occasionally revealed in daily life. Although I wrote some of the ways she pursued the truth, too, I added a comment saying I wasn’t sure if she was really a truth seeker. I felt a little uneasy after writing the evaluation; I never felt that Lilah was how the leader described. Although she did have an arrogant disposition and sometimes spoke in a way that was blunt and hard to take, she wasn’t bad at heart. She upheld the interests of the church when problems arose, and was brave enough to speak up when she saw others violating the truth principles. For example, when she saw that a sister was always muddling through her duty and impacting the progress of work, Lilah was able to put their relationship aside and help her by pointing it out without delay, while also telling the leader about it. If one looked at Lilah’s overall behavior, she was able to uphold the interests of the church and was a right person, but the leader said otherwise. I wondered if the leader was biased, and if the evaluations she was gathering would get Lilah dismissed or cleansed away from the church. I felt more uneasy the more I thought about it, so I asked the leader if she had fellowshipped with Lilah about her problems, and how well she understood them. But the leader evaded the question, saying Lilah had been prone to judge leaders and workers before, and was now doing it again. She said one leader was thinking of resigning because of Lilah’s accusations, so she had already become a disruption. Hearing this, I figured the leader must be better at understanding problems than I was, and that I must be lacking in discernment and had been taken in by Lilah’s outward behavior. So I didn’t say anything else.

A couple days later, an upper leader looked into the situation and said Lilah wasn’t arbitrarily judging leaders and workers, but was rightfully exposing and reporting false leaders. That leader had been reported by Lilah, so she was lashing out, saying Lilah was arbitrarily judging leaders and workers—she even unilaterally halted Lilah’s duty! The false leaders who Lilah reported had all been dismissed, and she was given back her duty. My heart skipped a beat when I heard this—I was shocked, and also felt kind of unsettled. I’d gone along with the leader, condemning Lilah for having an arrogant disposition, arbitrarily judging leaders, and not accepting the truth well. This was a serious problem! I felt like it was no small matter, and that I should really reflect on myself. So I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me to understand myself. Later, I read this in God’s words: “To believe in God and walk the right path in life, at the very least you must live with dignity and human likeness, you must be worthy of people’s trust and be regarded as valuable, people must feel that there is substance to your character and integrity, that you follow through with everything that you say, and keep to your word. … People with dignity all have a bit of personality, they sometimes don’t get along with others, but they are honest, and there is no falseness or trickery to them. Others ultimately hold them in high esteem, because they are able to practice the truth, they are honest, they have dignity, integrity, and character, they never take advantage of others, they help people when they’re in trouble, they treat people with conscience and reason, and never make snap judgments about them. When assessing or discussing other people, everything these individuals say is accurate, they say what they know and don’t run their mouths about what they don’t, they don’t embellish, and their words can serve as evidence or reference. When they speak and act, people who possess integrity are relatively practical and trustworthy. No one regards people who lack integrity as valuable, no one pays any attention to what they say and do, or treats their words and actions as important, and no one trusts them. This is because they tell too many lies and speak too few honest words, it is because they lack sincerity when they interact with people or do anything for them, they try to trick and fool everyone, and no one likes them. Have you found anyone who, in your eyes, is trustworthy? Do you think yourselves worthy of other people’s trust? Can other people trust you? If someone asks you about another person’s situation, you should not appraise and judge that person according to your own will, your words must be objective, accurate, and in line with the facts. You should speak about whatever you do understand, and not talk about things that you lack insight into. You must be just and fair toward that person. That is the responsible way to act. If you have only observed a surface-level phenomenon, and what you want to say is just your own judgment about that person, then you must not blindly pass a verdict on that person, and you certainly must not judge them. You must preface what you say with, ‘This is just my own judgment,’ or ‘This is just how I feel.’ That way, your words will be relatively objective, and after hearing what you said, the other person will be able to sense the honesty of your words and your fair attitude, and they will be able to trust you. Are you sure that you can accomplish this?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). I realized from God’s words that upright, honest people assess others correctly and objectively, and don’t just shoot their mouths off. They say just what they know, and no more. They can be trusted. But those who aren’t upright have personal intents in their assessments, spouting off whatever they imagine, even distorting facts, or turning things upside down to achieve their own aims. That sort of person lies too much, tells too little truth, and can’t be trusted. They lack dignity and integrity. I rethought my assessment of Lilah. When I heard the leader condemn her as arrogant, self-righteous, and judgmental, I made no effort to discern whether or not this was factual, and did not investigate whether the leaders Lilah reported were false leaders. I just blindly went along with the leader in condemning her. Although I realized that the leader’s opinion of Lilah didn’t fit with my experience, and I felt unsettled, I was afraid she would say I lacked discernment and would have a bad impression of me, and that I might not be given important duties. That’s why I wrote a negative assessment of Lilah. I was going against the facts, incriminating her, and oppressing her; I was revealing a malicious disposition. It was upright of Lilah to report and expose false leaders without being constrained by status and power. I not only failed to support her, but joined a false leader in condemning her, bringing her nothing but pain. This was doing evil, and I was acting as Satan’s helper. I was full of regret and self-blame. I had really wronged Lilah and I couldn’t bear to face her. I prayed to God, “God, I lack humanity. I followed a false leader, and oppressed and condemned Lilah. I’ve committed a transgression before You. God, I was wrong and want to repent.”

I read a couple more passages of God’s words that helped me understand myself better. Almighty God says: “The antichrists are blind to God, He has no place in their hearts. When they encounter Christ, they treat Him no different from an ordinary person, constantly taking their cues from His expression and tone, changing their tune as befits the situation, never saying what’s really going on, never saying anything sincere, only speaking empty words and doctrine, trying to deceive and hoodwink the practical God standing before their eyes. They don’t have a God-fearing heart at all. They aren’t even capable of speaking to God from the heart, of saying anything real. They talk as a snake slithers, the course sinuous and indirect. The manner and direction of their words are like a melon vine climbing its way up a pole. For example, when you say someone is of good caliber and could be promoted, they immediately talk about how good they are, and what is manifested and revealed in them; and if you say someone is bad, they are quick to talk about how bad and evil they are, about how they cause disturbances and disruptions in the church. When you inquire about some actual situations, they have nothing to say; they prevaricate, waiting for you to make a conclusion, listening out for the meaning in your words, so as to align their words with your thoughts. Everything they say is pleasant-sounding words, flattery, and obsequiousness; not a sincere word comes out of their mouths” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Ten: They Despise the Truth, Brazenly Flout Principles, and Ignore the Arrangements of God’s House (Part Two)). “The humanity of antichrists is dishonest, which means they are not truthful in the least. Everything they say and do is adulterated and contains their own intentions and goals, and hidden in it all are their unmentionable and unspeakable tricks and schemes. So the words and actions of antichrists are too contaminated and too full of falsity. No matter how much they speak, it’s impossible to know which of their words are true, which are false, which are right, and which are wrong. This is because they are dishonest, and their minds are extremely complicated, full of treacherous schemes and rife with tricks. None of what they say is straightforward. They do not say one is one, two is two, yes is yes, and no is no. Instead, in all matters, they beat around the bush and think things through several times in their minds, working out the consequences, weighing the merits and drawbacks from every angle. Then, they alter what they want to say using language so that everything they say sounds quite unwieldy. Honest people never understand what they say and are easily deceived and tricked by them, and whoever speaks and communicates with such people finds the experience tiring and laborious. They never say one is one and two is two, they never say what they are thinking, and they never describe things as they are. Everything they say is unfathomable, and the goals and intentions of their actions are very complicated. If the truth gets out—if other people see through them, and catch on to them—they quickly concoct another lie to get around it. … The principle and method by which these people comport themselves and deal with the world is tricking people with lies. They are two-faced and speak to suit their audience; they perform whatever role the situation demands. They are smooth and slick, their mouths are filled with lies, and they are untrustworthy. Whoever is in contact with them for a while is misled or disturbed and cannot receive provision, help, or edification” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Four: Summarizing the Character of Antichrists and Their Disposition Essence (Part One)). God’s words reveal that antichrists always harbor tricks in their words and actions; they speak in a roundabout way, deceiving others, and lack any credibility. Even when they are in contact with Christ, they’re looking for clues in His words, seeing which way the wind blows, and being a sycophant. There’s nothing genuine about them. They are really slippery, deceitful, and evil. I’d never been in direct contact with Christ, but I did listen for signs, read the room, and guess at what others wanted. I was showing an antichrist’s disposition. A few months earlier, the leader had asked for my assessment of Lilah. At the time, I didn’t think the leader had a negative opinion of her; I thought she probably wanted to promote her. So, I said that Lilah could seek and accept the truth in the face of problems, that she had a sense of justice, and could uphold the church’s interests. I basically wrote only about her strengths, hardly mentioning her weaknesses. But when the same leader criticized Lilah and was asking for others’ evaluations of her, I knew I had a different experience of Lilah than she did. However, in order that the leader would say I had discernment, I went along with her, and said Lilah had an arrogant disposition, was judgmental, and struggled to accept the truth. In both evaluations I was assessing the same person, but said totally different things. I wasn’t being remotely fair or objective. I thought about the Lord Jesus’ words: “Let your communication be, Yes, yes; No, no” (Matthew 5:37). However, when I was writing about Lilah, I wanted to give the leader a good impression, so I tried to guess what she wanted to hear. I had to run things through in my head several times before voicing an opinion, complicating my thoughts. Everything I said and did was tainted with personal intents; not a word of it was genuine or true. I was being far too deceitful and evil. I was unprincipled in my words and actions, and didn’t deserve the trust or confidence of God or other people. I’d entirely lost my dignity and integrity. I felt more and more disgusted with myself. Before, when I’d seen false leaders and antichrists oppressing and condemning others in order to protect their own name and status, I was indignant. I never imagined I’d do the same kind of evil. I twisted the facts just to achieve my own aims and protect my own interests. I misrepresented a person with a sense of justice who protected the interests of the church as a judgmental one. I was incriminating and mistreating a good person. I stood on the side of a false leader, condemning and oppressing Lilah.

Once during a gathering, a sister said she’d heard the leader wanted to collect evaluations of Lilah, but felt Lilah wasn’t quite like the leader portrayed her. This sister didn’t blindly listen to the leader; instead, she had discernment over what the leader said and did. She also told the upper leaders about it and put a stop to that treatment of Lilah. When faced with the same situation as me, this sister could seek the truth; she had a God-fearing heart, and her words were honest and fair. She protected Lilah and upheld the interests of the church, whereas I bought into the false leader’s lies and tricks, and encouraged her unbridled evil, acting like Satan’s minion. I really hated myself for this. I reflected on why I gave in so easily when the leader said those things about Lilah. It was because I didn’t fully understand the truth about what being judgmental is. In fact, the key to knowing if someone is judgmental, is to look at the intent behind their words, and if the problems they report are real problems. If one discovers false leaders who go against the principles and don’t do real work, and then fellowships and discerns with brothers and sisters who understand the truth, if the intent of that person is to uphold the church’s work, then they are not being judgmental, but rather, having a sense of justice. Those who are actually judgmental have their own intent; they distort facts; they slander and attack people; they find things to hold over others, or they make a big deal of the corruption people display, and indiscriminately criticize them. All they bring upon others is oppression and condemnation. That’s what it means to be judgmental. I didn’t have a pure understanding of what it meant to be judgmental; therefore, I fallaciously believed that if we discover problems with a leader or worker, we should tell them directly or report it to an upper leader, and that if we discuss their problems with other brothers and sisters behind their back, then that’s being judgmental. I wasn’t looking at the context or the essence of the situation. When I heard that Lilah had spoken with some sisters in private, saying certain leaders weren’t doing real work and that they were false leaders, I thought she was being judgmental, so I arbitrarily condemned her. I gave no thought to whether what she said reflected reality. But now the facts showed that what she reported was true. She dared to speak the truth and protect the interests of the church. She had a sense of justice, and was not judgmental.

I learned some lessons from this failure of mine. In future evaluations, I must have a God-fearing heart, and do not blindly trust others. I have to discern the essence of things according to the facts and God’s words. If I don’t understand the truth and can’t see things clearly, I have to at least be forthright, not butter someone up and distort things. God’s words say: “When I say ‘following the way of God,’ what does the ‘way of God’ refer to? It means fearing God and shunning evil. And what is fearing God and shunning evil? When you give your appraisal of someone, for example—this relates to fearing God and shunning evil. How do you appraise them? (We must be honest, just, and fair, and our words must not be based on our feelings.) When you say exactly what you think, and exactly what you have seen, you are being honest. First of all, the practice of being honest aligns with following the way of God. This is what God teaches people; this is the way of God. What is the way of God? Fearing God and shunning evil. Is being honest not part of fearing God and shunning evil? And is it not following the way of God? (Yes, it is.) If you are not honest, then what you have seen and what you think is not the same as what comes out of your mouth. Someone asks you, ‘What is your opinion of that person? Is he responsible in the church’s work?’ and you reply, ‘He’s great. He is more responsible than I am, his caliber is better than mine, and his humanity is good, too. He is mature and stable.’ But is this what you are thinking in your heart? What you actually see is that although this person does have caliber, he is unreliable, rather deceitful, and very calculating. This is what you’re really thinking in your mind, but when the time comes to speak, it occurs to you that, ‘I can’t tell the truth. I mustn’t offend anyone,’ so you quickly say something else, and choose nice things to say about him, but nothing you say is what you really think; it is all lies and all fake. Does this indicate that you follow the way of God? No. You have taken the way of Satan, the way of demons. What is the way of God? It is the truth, it is the basis according to which people should comport themselves, and it is the way of fearing God and shunning evil. Although you are speaking to another person, God is also listening; He is watching your heart, and scrutinizing it. People listen to what you say, but God scrutinizes your heart. Are people capable of scrutinizing the hearts of man? At best, people can see that you are not telling the truth; they can see what’s on the surface, but only God can see into the depths of your heart. Only God can see what you are thinking, what you are planning, and what little schemes, treacherous ways, and active thoughts you have within your heart. When God sees that you are not telling the truth, what is His opinion and evaluation of you? That you have not followed God’s way in this matter because you did not tell the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). I realized from God’s words that everything that happens boils down to whether we are able to fear God and shun evil. God sees into our hearts and minds. God sees absolutely everything we think and do. When we evaluate others, we should have a God-fearing heart. We should not be controlled by personal intent or interest, but rather, seek the truth from facts, say only what we know, and be honest in accordance with God’s requirements. If we do not have a clear understanding of someone’s behavior, or of the truth principles which apply to the situation, we should seek and pray more, so we don’t arbitrarily judge or label someone. I also thought of the work of cleansing the church. Having personal intents, and failing to evaluate people objectively and in accordance with the facts, could mislead others. In serious cases, someone could be cleared out or expelled in error, thereby wronging them. Speaking and acting based on feelings, and protecting a disbeliever or an evildoer, could mean someone who should be cleared out or expelled is kept in the church where they can cause further disruption. It is the same with changes in duty. If an evaluation is inaccurate, it could prevent good people from being promoted and cultivated, while bad people retain their positions. This not only holds up the life entry of brothers and sisters, but it disrupts and disturbs the work of the church. Besides this, I realized that assessments need to be based on overall behavior; they need to be fair and objective. We can’t just fixate on people’s weaknesses or a momentary display of corruption, blowing it out of proportion and slapping a label on them. After realizing this, I started reminding myself that I had to have a God-fearing heart when evaluating other people, and to do it factually, fairly, and objectively. Later, I had to write another evaluation of Lilah for reasons of duty. I knew that this was a test, to see if I could practice the truth, enter into the principles, and assess my sister in a fair and objective way. So, I quieted my heart before God and said a prayer, asking God to look into my heart. I wanted to be honest. I had to call a spade a spade, and not speak from my own intent. I had to write down what I knew, and if I didn’t know something, say so. I felt so much better when I put this into practice.

That evaluation of Lilah helped me see my own sly, deceitful, and corrupt disposition, and that if I speak and act from my own intent, I will unwittingly do evil and hurt people. I also saw that living by God’s words and the truth, speaking and acting truthfully the way God teaches us to, and being an honest person, is the only way to live out a true human likeness and gain God’s approval.