By Guo Qiang, China

I was driving very late one night in the winter of 2015, on my way to deliver some books of God’s words. At a curve on a mountain road, I saw that police were inspecting vehicles in the distance, with three police cars to the side of them. My heart skipped a beat: “Oh no! I have over a hundred books in the truck. If the police find these, I’m done for.” But headlights are incredibly obvious at night, so if I stopped and turned around at that point, the police would certainly come to check me out. It also happened to be snowing then; the mountain road was slippery, and it was a narrow road, making it very difficult to turn around—I had no choice but to continue forward. Feeling really nervous, I quickly said a prayer to God, asking Him to watch over my heart and help me calm down. It occurred to me that I had the cellphone used for contacting brothers and sisters with me as well, so I immediately slowed down, destroyed my cellphone and SIM card, then tossed them out the window. When I got to where the police were, one of them asked me what I had in the truck. I said, “Potatoes.” Just then two more officers walked over and climbed into the bed of the truck. Watching in the rearview mirror, I saw them lift up bag after bag of those potatoes, discover the boxes hidden underneath them, and pull out several books. My mind started whirling, and I thought, “That’s it. I’ve been caught this time. These books of God’s words are so important, so precious for our pursuit of the truth. I have to protect them, even if it costs me my life—I can’t let them fall into the police’s hands.” So I slammed the car into gear and floored it, wanting to rush out of there. But since the snow was making the road so slick, the wheels just skidded and I was stuck. Just then, an officer took something out of a police car and threw it, breaking my windshield. The two officers standing on either side of the truck grabbed the doors and smashed both windows, opened the doors, and then started beating me like mad with their batons all over my head and body while trying to pull me out of the vehicle. One of them got in and kicked me down to the ground, cuffed my hands to my feet on both sides, then gave me a vicious beating. Since it was winter, the officers were all wearing really tough, thick police boots. When they kicked me, it felt like my flesh was being ripped off. They then stuffed me into a police car with my hands and feet still cuffed, and put me in the space between the front and back seats with my head facing down. It felt like my neck was going to snap—I was in so much pain, my clothing was completely soaked with sweat.

I was in a state of internal chaos. I didn’t know what sort of torture the police were going to subject me to. Would they beat me to death, or render me disabled? Would they sentence me to prison? Would I ever see my family again? I got more scared the more I thought about it. As I was thinking about all this, I suddenly realized that in the face of oppression and hardship, the only things on my mind were my own flesh and safety, not how to stand firm in my testimony to satisfy God. I quickly said a prayer: “God, I’m afraid of being beaten and being sent to jail. Please give me faith. I want to stand firm in my testimony for You.” After my prayer, I remembered a hymn of God’s words.

Trials Call for Faith

1  While undergoing trials, it is normal for people to be weak, or to have negativity within them, or to lack clarity on God’s intentions or their path for practice. But in any case, you must have faith in God’s work, and not deny God, just like Job. …

2  … People’s faith is required when something cannot be seen by the naked eye, and your faith is required when you cannot let go of your own notions. When you do not have clarity about God’s work, what is required of you is to have faith and to take a firm stance and stand strong in your testimony. When Job reached this point, God appeared to him and spoke to him. That is, it is only from within your faith that you will be able to see God, and when you have faith God will perfect you.

—The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Those Who Are to Be Made Perfect Must Undergo Refinement

I thought then that I wanted to follow Job’s example and leave everything in God’s hands. Though I’d fallen into the police’s clutches, without God’s permission they couldn’t take my life. I had to have faith in God, and no matter how great my suffering and even if I ended up dying, I had to stand firm in my testimony for God and humiliate Satan.

They took me to a police station, where two officers dragged me forward by each of my feet. My whole back was facing the floor and the weight of my entire body was on the handcuffs, which were digging into the flesh of my wrists and ankles. It felt like my wrists were snapping with the force. They dragged me into a room and tossed me roughly like a sack into a corner. Every single part of me was in so much pain, I was struggling to breathe. A couple of officers came over after a little bit and started roughly kicking me in the head and stomping on me, and one said furiously, “You think you’re so great, daring to deliver religious books? I just might beat you to death!” In the hours that followed, police officers kept on coming in, punching and kicking me while shouting vile things. With those thick police boots, every single kick was horribly painful. With my hands and feet cuffed, there was no way for me to avoid them—I just had to take it. I remembered these words of God: “You should know these are the last days. Devils and Satan, like roaring lions, stalk abroad, searching for people to devour” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 28). The Chinese constitution clearly grants freedom of belief, and all I was doing was delivering books of God’s words. I hadn’t broken any laws, but the police had taken me in and were threatening my life with their beatings. The Communist Party truly is a demon that resists God! They were beating me like that so I’d become a Judas and betray God—I couldn’t fall for Satan’s tricks. No matter how much I suffered, I had to lean on God, stand firm in my testimony for God, and shame Satan.

I was being beaten to the point that I was in a semi-conscious state most of the time. I don’t know when the police uncuffed me, but when I came to, I noticed that my left hand and left foot were tied together, as were my right hand and right foot. There was also a rope that went from behind my neck and was wrapped around my thighs several times. They had tied me up like a knot, leaning against the corner. My entire body hurt, it was a struggle to breathe, and my head was painfully swollen. Officers were still coming in and beating me without reprieve. Sometimes two would each stand on opposite sides of me and kick me back and forth like a soccer ball. I was in a daze. When they hit me more lightly, I didn’t feel it anymore. When they hit me really hard or in a place that had already been wounded, I’d feel a bit of a shiver, sort of like an electric current running through me. When I occasionally came to, I realized that every single part of my body was in pain. Lying on the ice-cold floor, thirsty and hungry and aching all over, I wondered when the police would be done with this endless beating. I felt that death would be better than that torment, because at least I wouldn’t have to suffer that way. In my state of haziness and confusion, a hymn called “Following Christ Is Ordained by God” suddenly came to mind very clearly: “God has ordained that we follow Christ and go through trials and tribulations. If we truly love God, we should submit to His sovereignty and arrangements. To go through trials and tribulations is to be blessed by God, and God says that the rougher the path we walk, the more it can show our love. The path we walk today was preordained by God. To follow Christ of the last days is the greatest blessing of all” (Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). That’s right. How many paths we must walk and how much we suffer in this life is all predetermined by God—no one can escape this. Undergoing this sort of oppression and hardship looked like a bad thing on the surface, but in fact, it was beneficial for my growth in life and could help perfect my faith. I’d gotten through a number of dangerous situations before, so I’d thought that I already had stature and faith, that I could suffer and expend myself for God. But when faced with the police’s brutal torment, I was afraid I’d be beaten to the point of death or disability, afraid I’d be sentenced to prison. All I thought about was my own fleshly interests and my own safety. When things got too painful, I had even wished to escape it through death. At this point I realized how pitiful my faith was, that I lacked true stature and even more, lacked love for God. This hardship and oppression also made me see the great red dragon’s evil and brutal demonic nature more clearly. The Communist Party boasts about its freedom of belief to outsiders, but in fact, it madly arrests and persecutes believers and treats them like enemies. All of us were created by God, so having faith and worshiping God is right and natural, yet these police officers arrest believers and drive us to death’s door. The Communist Party truly is a demon that resists God! I’d gained greater discernment of the Communist Party’s essence. I thought of something God said: “God braved dangers several thousand times greater than those during the Age of Grace to come down to the land where the great red dragon dwells to do His own work, expending all His thought and care, to redeem this group of impoverished people, this group of people mired in a dung heap” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Work and Entry (4)). I had read that before, but didn’t have a real understanding of it. It wasn’t until this arrest that I personally appreciated how extremely difficult it was for God to work in China for man’s salvation. As just a believer following God and doing my duty, I was subjected to this kind of brutal mistreatment by the Communist Party—how far would this gang of demons take their brutality against God incarnate? But even in such a dangerous environment, God still continues to express truths, doing His utmost for humanity’s salvation. His love for us is so great! Pondering God’s love was incredibly moving and encouraging for me. I silently resolved that no matter what tactics the great red dragon employed to torture me, I would lean on God and stand firm in my testimony; if I made it out alive someday, I would continue to follow God and fulfill my duty to satisfy Him. I felt much calmer with the faith and strength that God’s words gave to me. My imagination was no longer running wild, and though I was suffering physically, I felt at peace in my heart.

After some time—I have no idea how long—an officer came over and kicked me twice to see if I was still alive or not. I was still tied up and huddled in the corner, and couldn’t even lift my head. All I could see were his feet. The officer asked me, “Are you aware of what books you were delivering?” I said, “Yes.” Then he said, “Are you a believer?” I responded, “I am.” After that he kept demanding over and over again to know where the books had come from, where I was taking them, how I contacted the others, how many batches of books I’d delivered, and so on. Seeing I refused to say anything, he came over, kicked me a couple of times and said, “You’d better speak up! Tell us everything and we’ll let you go—no more beatings!” Over the next few days, they interrogated me with those questions nonstop, and when they didn’t get any answers, beat me over and over. I remember one time while they were questioning me, I raised my head to see what they looked like. As a result, a cop punched me in the face, then grabbed a police baton that was sitting on a table and used it to hit me on the neck. I fainted right there. I have no idea how many times I passed out in the days I was there. They not only beat me, but also humiliated me, not allowing me to use the bathroom. One time I called out for them to let me go to the restroom, but that just got me another round of blows. One officer said to me maliciously, “Shit your pants! Piss your pants!” Then he walked out. I had no choice but to hold it. My abdomen was swollen and in pain, and later on it became numb to the point that I had no feeling in it at all. I didn’t know when I lost control of my bladder—I just felt my lower body become wet and cold as ice. It was terribly demeaning, incredibly humiliating.

They didn’t give me a single thing to eat after taking me in. I was extremely hungry at first, but later on had no desire for food—all I could feel was pain and discomfort. My eyes became so swollen that I couldn’t open them, but I did feel someone holding my mouth open and pouring cold water into it. I was thirsty at first, but after a while I couldn’t get any water down, so they were forcing water into my mouth. I was completely devoid of strength and when I forced my eyes to open a crack, I could faintly make out an officer. He punched me in the chest and barked at me, “Are you going to talk, or what?” I said, “I’ve said everything I have to say to you. What else do you want me to say?” Then he started punching and kicking me furiously. I felt like the flesh was being torn off of me. After hitting me a dozen or so times, he kicked me right in the chest—it felt like someone had grabbed hold of my heart, and it hurt so much I was left breathless. Then he grabbed me by the collar, pushed me up against the corner, and hit me hard over and over in the head, chest, and abdomen. I have no idea how many times he hit me or for how long. It just felt like the time was passing very slowly. He became more and more crazed as I went in and out of consciousness, now numb to the pain. I started to feel something coming up from my stomach and eventually I couldn’t hold it back anymore, and it started to spew out of my mouth. I faintly heard the officer shouting, “Someone get over here, he’s spitting up blood!” I fainted after that, and had no idea what happened. When I came to, I saw there was blood all over my clothing. I was in a haze and didn’t know when I passed out again. When I regained consciousness, I didn’t have the strength to move at all—I felt like I was going to fall to pieces. I was thinking I probably wouldn’t make it, which was really upsetting. Just then, something from God’s words came very clearly into my mind. God says: “I am your support and your shield, and all is in My hands” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 9). That’s right. Everything is in God’s hands, and God decides whether I’ll live or die. I remembered that when Job was tested, Satan attacked him, making his entire body break out in extremely painful boils, but God wouldn’t allow Satan to take Job’s life, and Satan didn’t dare cross that line. I thought back over the days since my arrest. Although the police had been beating me nonstop and I didn’t know how many times I had passed out, I was still alive, entirely thanks to God’s care and protection. I really and truly saw that our lives and deaths are entirely within God’s hands, and if He doesn’t allow it, Satan cannot take our lives away. God’s words gave me faith and strength, and I silently prayed, “God, I’m ready to put my life in Your hands and submit to Your sovereignty and arrangements.”

Over those days I was hovering between life and death. The thing that worried me the most while I faced possible death was my wife and child. In 2012, the police went to my house to arrest me for my faith, but luckily, I wasn’t at home that day. From then on, I hadn’t dared go back, and it had already been three years since I’d seen them. I was thinking that if I died, I’d never be able to see them again. I hadn’t been able to be at home to take care of them for years. I didn’t know how they were doing and our daughter was still ill. How would they get by in the future? This thought made me want to cry, but I didn’t even have the strength for that. Later, I thought of a hymn that I often sang, called “A Lament for a Bleak and Tragic World”: “People have their havens, but God has nowhere to rest His head. How many offer up all they have? God has tasted enough of the world’s coldness, and endured all the world’s sufferings, yet it’s very difficult for Him to gain man’s sympathy. God worries constantly about humanity, walking among mankind. Who shows solicitude for His safety? He works tirelessly through the changing seasons, giving up everything for humanity. No one has ever shown concern for God’s comfort. People only know to demand from God, but aren’t willing to think a little more about God’s intentions. Humanity enjoys domestic bliss, why then do they always make God’s tears flow?” (Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). This song was really moving for me, and I felt how indebted I was to God. For our salvation, God has become flesh and appears and works in this country of the great red dragon. He is oppressed and pursued by the Communist Party, rejected by this generation and has nowhere to rest His head. God is the Lord of creation—He is so supreme and honorable, but endures enormous humiliation for our salvation, paying such a tremendous price for our sake. His love for mankind is so great! I’d been a believer all those years and had enjoyed so much watering and sustenance from His words, but when I faced oppression and hardship, there was no place for God in my heart. I wasn’t thinking of how to stand firm in my testimony for God and shame Satan, I was just considering the flesh and my family. I even felt wronged by this suffering. I saw that I had no consideration whatsoever for God’s intentions, I was really selfish and despicable. In fact, this hardship was beneficial to my life, it allowed me to see my own corruption and flaws and would help my faith in God grow. As I pondered God’s love, I felt very moved and encouraged, and I swore that I would live this life for God, and live to satisfy God. No matter how much I had to suffer, even if it meant my death, I would lean on God and stand firm in my testimony for Him.

The police used both hard and soft tactics in their attempts to get something out of me. I remember one day an officer brought me one bowl half filled with rice, and another half filled with tomatoes, and said, “You haven’t had anything to eat for days. All this suffering and getting beaten so much, and for what? It’s not like you’ve killed someone or set something on fire. You’ve taken so many beatings—it’s not worth it. You smell worse than a beggar on the streets now. Just tell us what you know and you won’t have to suffer anymore. You’ll get to go back home and be with your wife and child.” He went on, saying, “Where did you get those books from? Where were you taking them? If you just answer one of those questions, we’ll let you go right away.” I still didn’t say a word, so he kicked me a couple of times and shouted, “You filthy pile of meat! I see you need a good beating! Even now you can barely speak properly but you’re still holding back.” I was thinking that no matter what, I absolutely couldn’t sell out the brothers and sisters. I couldn’t be a Judas and betray God. Seeing he wasn’t going to get anything out of me, he just turned around and walked out. My hands and feet had been tied up the entire time; I was curled up in the corner, enduring their insults and beatings. After a while I began feeling incredibly miserable and weak. I was seriously injured from being beaten and frequently lost consciousness. When I was lucid, I would pray to God and often be able to think of a few passages from God’s words. There were two quotes from God’s words that left a particularly deep impression on me. God says: “The path God guides us along does not go straight up, but is a winding road full of potholes; God says, furthermore, that the rockier the path is, the more it can reveal our loving hearts” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Path … (6)). “Do not fear, the Almighty God of hosts will surely be with you; He stands behind you and He is your shield” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 26). When I thought about God’s words, I felt that He was right there with me, guiding me. It was God’s words that gave me faith and strength, allowing me to carry on. I said a silent prayer: “Oh God! It’s entirely thanks to Your care and protection that I’m still alive. I give thanks to You!”

The next day, the police saw that I was reaching my limit, so they carried me into a room, rinsed me off with a water hose, then brought over a piece of paper for me to sign. My vision was really blurry, and I could only fuzzily make out one of the lines. The crimes they were charging me with were: transporting contraband, belief in a cult, and disrupting social order. When I refused to sign it, an officer grabbed my hand and forced me to leave a fingerprint. After some time, I don’t know how long, they put a hood over my head, forced me into a police car, drove me somewhere, then kicked me out of the car. By the time I stood up and got the hood off, the police car was already far away. I took a few steps and then really didn’t have the strength to go any farther. All I could do was sit by the side of the road. After many setbacks, I ended up back to the room I had rented. Walking was extremely difficult for me, and when getting into a car I had to inch in bit by bit. My beard had also grown out, so the driver thought I was an old man and offered to give me a hand. When I later looked at a calendar, I realized that I’d been tortured in that police station for eight days. If it hadn’t been for God’s protection, there’s no way I would have survived that. When I got back to the place I was staying, all I could do was lie in bed—my entire body was racked with pain. My body had blue and purple spots all over it that felt like tumors when I touched them. Putting the slightest pressure on all these lumps was incredibly painful. I just kept lying there, and it wasn’t until the tenth day that I could get up and walk, and it wasn’t until the fifteenth day that I had the strength to pick up a book of God’s words to read. At first, I couldn’t even get through a full page because sitting hurt my back, and I didn’t have the strength to hold the book up when I was lying down. I could only read for three or four minutes each time.

I was kept under constant surveillance after my release and the police kept calling and harassing me. I remember once, my mother got sick and I went back to my hometown to see her. As a result, the next day the police called and asked me why I’d gone back home. Thinking about how seriously injured I was, that I couldn’t have any contact with brothers and sisters or do any sort of duty was really hard for me. I didn’t know how I could go on like that. Just when I was feeling truly miserable, I read something in God’s words. Almighty God says: “Those whom God refers to as ‘overcomers’ are those who are still able to stand firm in their witness and maintain their confidence and devotion to God when under the influence of Satan and while being laid siege to by Satan, that is, when they find themselves amidst the forces of darkness. If you are still able to keep a pure heart before God and maintain your genuine love for God no matter what, then you are standing firm in your witness in front of God, and this is what God refers to as being an ‘overcomer.’ … Offering a holy spiritual body and a pure virgin to God means keeping a sincere heart in front of God. For mankind, sincerity is purity, and the ability to be sincere toward God is maintaining purity. This is what you should put into practice. When you ought to pray, you pray; when you ought to gather together in fellowship, you do so; when you ought to sing hymns, you sing hymns; and when you ought to rebel against the flesh, you rebel against the flesh. When you perform your duty, you do not muddle through it; when you are faced with trials you stand firm. This is devotion to God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. You Should Maintain Your Devotion to God). God’s words gave me faith and strength and brightened my heart. No matter how the great red dragon persecuted me, no matter if I could have contact with other church members or do a duty, and no matter what sort of outcome I had, I would follow God until the end.

I was left with a lot of health problems because of the police’s brutal torture. A doctor said there was damage to my heart valves, I had reduced blood flow to my heart, and there were problems with my liver, gallbladder, spleen, and kidneys. He said I was practically in pieces. Before I’d been in very good health, but now climbing a single flight of stairs, even empty-handed, leaves me panting and my heart aching. When they first released me, it felt like the top of my head had been pulled off. It was really painful and the slightest contact made it hurt even more. After drinking over 80 packets of Chinese medicine, my headache finally let up a little bit. I also felt that my lower abdomen was going to fall out of me. It hurt terribly, and there were two days that I kept urinating blood. At that time, I didn’t have any money to go see a doctor, and I thought I probably really wouldn’t survive, so I said this prayer to God: “God, whether I live or die is entirely in Your hands. Whether I make it or not, I give thanks to You.” To my surprise, after taking anti-inflammatories for three days, I stopped urinating blood.

Although I suffered when I was arrested and tortured by the Communist Party, I really gained a great deal. Those eight days in hell clearly showed me that the Communist Party is a demon that opposes God. I’m just a regular, unassuming Christian, who abides by the law and minds my own business. All I want is to practice my faith, pursue the truth, gain God’s salvation, and fulfill the duty of a created being to the best of my ability. Even so, the Communist Party police arrested and nearly killed me. The Communist Party wants to use violent, brutal persecution to scare believers, so that people don’t dare have faith and follow God, and thus ruin God’s work of salvation. But the more it carries out that kind of persecution, the more we see its evil and brutality, hate and reject it, and the more we long for the light and for the coming of God’s kingdom, for the day that fairness and justice rule on earth. Through this, I also experienced God’s love. If it hadn’t been for God’s protection and the guidance of His words, there’s no way I could have made it out of that demons’ lair alive. I’m grateful to God from the bottom of my heart, and I want to pursue the truth and do my duty well to repay God’s love.