By Su Jie, China

In October 2020, I was chosen to supervise the video work alongside Wang Li, who I’d worked with before. I knew that she was kind of preoccupied with her reputation and status, and that she’d fall out with anyone who offended her. But we got along well enough, without any major conflicts. Later, I found out that she had developed a bias against one of the sisters from the group, Xin Cheng. When Wang Li started telling me about the state of everybody in the group, she took on a disdainful tone and said, “Xin Cheng doesn’t have good humanity and is incredibly arrogant. When I give her suggestions, she not only refuses to accept them, but instead starts talking about my problems. She doesn’t play a positive role in the team. I’ve already written a letter to the leader reporting her problems and gathered assessments from the others, we are getting ready to dismiss her.” I read the assessments, and most of the brothers and sisters said that Xin Cheng was talented in her duty and had good caliber, but that her disposition was a little arrogant. They said that she would sometimes cling to her own opinion when they were discussing work, but if you fellowshipped with her clearly, she was able to accept it. All in all, she could still be cultivated. I was thinking, “Wang Li’s assessment of her wasn’t objective or fair, and Xin Cheng shouldn’t be casually dismissed because of this. Did Xin Cheng refute Wang Li’s ideas in a way that embarrassed her, so Wang Li became biased against her and wanted to have her dismissed? If so, Wang Li should reflect on herself.” At this thought I wanted to point this problem out to her, but then I thought, “She cares so much about saving face—will she dislike me after I do that? How would we get along if our relationship sours?” So I said to her tactfully, “Xin Cheng’s new to the faith, and she is a little headstrong, but her problems aren’t serious enough to dismiss her. Let’s help her through fellowship.” Hearing this, Wang Li’s expression changed completely, and she said, annoyed, “Xin Cheng’s problem isn’t that she’s headstrong, it’s that she has a bad disposition. I used to think the same thing as you, but now I can discern things clearly. Help her if you want to. You can take responsibility for her work from now on.” I didn’t really know what to do when I heard this. I thought, “I’ve just joined the team and I’m still not familiar with things. Wang Li’s pushed her responsibility onto me, and this could hold up our work. That was a pretty irresponsible thing to do.” I wanted to share more of my thoughts with her, but seeing how cold she was being, I was scared of further conflict disrupting our rapport, so I kept my mouth shut.

A few days later, we were getting ready to change locations due to the needs of our work. Wang Li said to me out of the blue, “Let’s not take Xin Cheng this time. She should stay here and reflect.” I was very surprised. How was having her stay here any different from dismissing her? Doing this would hold up our work and would be unfair to her. I was worried when I saw Wang Li was acting on her corrupt disposition, and I wanted to expose her for abusing her power to ostracize and oppress Xin Cheng. But I thought of how she’d been really resistant and had a bad attitude toward me when we discussed Xin Cheng the other day, so if I dissected and exposed the essence of her actions directly to her, she might say I was protecting Xin Cheng and being difficult with her. If it spoiled our relationship and she resented me and shut me out, how could we possibly work together? I hesitated, and swallowed what I was about to say. I figured, “Forget it. I shouldn’t expose her directly. I’ll just leave it.” So I stammered out, “The leader hasn’t confirmed any change to her duty. Is it appropriate for us to leave her here? Shouldn’t we wait for the leader’s approval before dismissing her? Let’s have her come with us. It’ll also make it easier to follow up on the work.” Wang Li didn’t insist anymore after I said that. I knew I hadn’t clearly addressed her problem, and that she’d keep targeting Xin Cheng. I felt guilty about it, but then I thought, “Since we are partners, I’ll just keep a close watch on her and stop her from causing any major mistakes.” After that, she kept intentionally excluding Xin Cheng. One time, there was a professional training opportunity, and as Xin Cheng was a quick study, the best option was to send her for training, and then have her teach others when she came back. But Wang Li insisted on sending another sister who didn’t know that area of work well. I also learned from the others that Xin Cheng had expressed views contrary to Wang Li’s several times, and everyone felt like Xin Cheng’s ideas were good, but Wang Li refused to accept them, and insisted that Xin Cheng listen to her. After Xin Cheng brought up her problems in a gathering, Wang Li got angry and ignored her. When Wang Li saw that Xin Cheng had problems in her duty, she wouldn’t help her resolve them, leaving Xin Cheng with no path to follow in her work, making things hard for her. I was really uncomfortable when I learned about all this. Wang Li had always been biased, exclusionary, and repressive toward Xin Cheng. This was quite a serious problem. It was already becoming disruptive and obstructing the work. I knew I had to talk to Wang Li. That day, I mustered up some courage and said, “You haven’t let go of your bias against Xin Cheng, have you? Xin Cheng is good at learning new techniques. By not letting her go, you’re being biased.” The moment I said this she got a dark look on her face and said angrily, “I’ve already let go of my bias against her, but now I have one against you. The project that Xin Cheng is responsible for isn’t achieving anything, and it’s her problem. I told you ages ago we should dismiss her, but you disagreed.” I saw that Wang Li had no self-knowledge. As a supervisor, she didn’t reflect on herself when the work wasn’t going well, and just shirked the responsibility. I was pretty mad, and I really wanted to expose the essence of her actions directly. But seeing how resistant she was, I held back. I felt kind of constrained, I thought, “I’ve just spoken a few words of truth to her, but she’s already developed such a critical opinion of me. If I really brought all of her problems to light, she’d be furious. That would definitely ruin our relationship. It’d be better not to say more, and besides, I’ve already admonished her a bit. Since she won’t accept it, I’ll just drop it.” After that, due to some work reassignments, I was mainly in charge of other work and saw less of Wang Li.

Surprisingly, about three weeks later, Wang Li’s work had still not yielded results, and the team members were feeling weak and down. They reported that when she saw them not doing well in their duty, Wang Li just chided them, but didn’t fellowship with them or guide them. They all felt constrained by her, and so negative that they didn’t know how to do their duty. They also said she hadn’t been guiding Xin Cheng’s work for months. They all had tears in their eyes when they told me this. I couldn’t keep calm any longer. I’d seen Wang Li’s problems a long time before, but I hadn’t pointed out the nature of these issues to her. She had no understanding of her own corrupt disposition, and she kept ostracizing people because of her biases and refusing to listen to others’ advice, to the point that the work was nearly at a standstill. I felt so guilty. When I got home, I read a passage of God’s words exposing antichrists: “To all appearances, the antichrists’ words seem especially kind, cultured, and distinguished. No matter who violates principle or disrupts and disturbs church work, the antichrist does not expose or criticize these people; they turn a blind eye, letting people think they are magnanimous in all matters. Regardless of what corruptions people reveal and what evil deeds they do, the antichrist is understanding and tolerant. They do not grow angry, or fly into a rage, they will not get cross and blame people when they do something wrong and harm the interests of God’s house. No matter who commits evil and disturbs the work of the church, they pay no heed, as if this has nothing to do with them, and they will never offend people because of it. What are the antichrists most concerned with? With how many people think highly of them, and with how many people see them when they suffer, and praise them for it. The antichrists believe that suffering must never be for nothing; no matter what hardship they endure, what price they pay, what good deeds they do, how caring, considerate, and loving they are toward others, this must all be carried out in front of others so that more people can see it. And what is their aim in acting thus? To buy people’s favor, to make more people approve of their actions, their conduct, and their character in their hearts, giving a thumbs up. There are even antichrists that try to establish an image of themselves as ‘a good person’ through this outwardly good behavior, so that more people come to them looking for help” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Ten)). Antichrists won’t step in when they see people disrupting the work of the church, so that they can establish a good image of themselves among others—they’re really selfish and despicable. Thinking back on my own behavior, I realized I was acting just like an antichrist. The church arranged for me to work with Wang Li, so we could make up for each other’s weaknesses, keep an eye on each other, and protect the church’s work together. But to protect my “harmonious” relationship with Wang Li, and to maintain my image as a “nice person” with her, I didn’t dare expose her exclusionary, repressive treatment of Xin Cheng. I saw her treatment of others was based on her corrupt disposition and was impacting the work, but I didn’t stick to the truth principles and step in or report it to a leader. I was afraid she’d dislike me and it would drive a wedge between us. Even when I got the courage to say something to her in fellowship, I still held back, not directly and clearly pointing out the essence of her behavior. I always made allowances for her. I stood by and watched her exclude and repress the brothers and sisters, which harmed their life entry and seriously hindered the church’s work, and yet I didn’t lift a finger to help. I finally saw clearly that people pleasers may seem to be good people from the outside and don’t offend anyone, but in reality they are more slippery and deceitful. Everything they do is to protect themselves, to maintain name and status. They use surface kindness to win over people’s hearts and rope people in. They reveal an evil disposition that is the same as an antichrist’s. Reflecting on my actions and conduct, I felt really guilty, and I hated myself. How could I have been so slippery, so deceitful? I was doing such an important duty, but I was irresponsible and didn’t stick to the principles when I saw problems, damaging the church’s work and hindering the lives of others. Wasn’t I harming the church’s interests by doing this? I truly had no conscience! I prayed and repented to God that I wanted to stop being rebellious and hurting Him, and that I wanted to practice the truth and protect the work of the church.

The next day, as soon as I brought up the work Xin Cheng was responsible for, Wang Li’s expression darkened immediately and she started complaining about Xin Cheng bringing the others into negativity. I saw she wasn’t reflecting on herself at all, and that she was shifting all the blame onto Xin Cheng. I thought, “I’ve hardly gotten started and she’s already angry. If I bring up all her work problems, she’ll definitely be annoyed with me. Should I carry on talking?” I hesitated and felt kind of constrained, so I said a silent prayer and thought about how God requires us to be honest and protect the interests of God’s house. This gave me some courage. No matter what she thought, I knew I had to share my honest opinion. So, I sternly and justly exposed how she was oppressing and punishing Xin Cheng. But she was having none of it. She just kept arguing about who was right and who was wrong. She refused to accept the truth whatsoever or know herself. I saw how serious her problem was, and that she couldn’t stay in that duty, so I reported this to our leader. The leader said she’d tried to help Wang Li by fellowshipping with her on this many times before, but she still hadn’t changed. Her behavior showed she didn’t have good humanity and wouldn’t accept the truth, and that she was unfit for the work. She therefore had to be dismissed as soon as possible. Moreover, the leader wanted me to do it. I felt a flutter in my heart, and thought, “Her attitude toward me has been different ever since I exposed her problems. If I go to personally dismiss her, that will seriously offend her. Would she hate me after that? Would she think I’m targeting her?” I felt conflicted and didn’t know how to face her. As I was fretting over this, I read God’s words: “Most people wish to pursue and practice the truth, but much of the time they merely have a resolution and the desire to do so; the truth has not become their life. As a result, when they come across evil forces or encounter evil people and bad people committing evil deeds, or false leaders and antichrists doing things in a way that violates principles—thus disturbing the work of the church and harming God’s chosen ones—they lose the courage to stand up and speak out. What does it mean when you have no courage? Does it mean that you are timid or inarticulate? Or is it that you do not understand thoroughly, and therefore do not have the confidence to speak up? Neither; this is primarily the consequence of being constrained by corrupt dispositions. One of the corrupt dispositions you reveal is a deceitful disposition; when something happens to you, the first thing you think of is your own interests, the first thing you consider is the consequences, whether this will be beneficial to you. This is a deceitful disposition, is it not? Another is a selfish and base disposition. You think, ‘What does a loss to the interests of God’s house have to do with me? I’m not a leader, so why should I care? It’s got nothing to do with me. It’s not my responsibility.’ Such thoughts and words are not something that you consciously think, but are produced by your subconscious—which is the corrupt disposition revealed when people encounter an issue. … You have no power over what you say and do. Even if you wanted to, you could not tell the truth or say what you really think; even if you wanted to, you could not practice the truth; even if you wanted to, you could not fulfill your responsibilities. Everything you say, do, and practice is a lie, and you’re just perfunctory. You are wholly shackled and controlled by your satanic disposition. You may want to accept and practice the truth, but it’s not up to you. When your satanic dispositions control you, you say and do whatever your satanic disposition tells you to do. You are nothing but a puppet of corrupt flesh, you have become a tool of Satan. Afterward, you feel regret at having once again followed the corrupt flesh and how you could have failed to practice the truth. You think to yourself, ‘I can’t overcome the flesh on my own and must pray to God. I didn’t stand up to stop those who were disturbing the work of the church, and my conscience is weighing on me. I’ve made up my mind that, when this happens again, I must stand up to and prune those who are committing misdeeds in the performance of their duties and disturbing the work of the church, so that they behave themselves and stop acting recklessly.’ After finally mustering the courage to speak up, you get scared and back down as soon as the other person gets angry and bangs on the table. Are you able to be in charge? What use are determination and will? They’re both useless. You must have encountered many incidents such as these: When you run into difficulties you throw in the towel, you feel that you can’t do anything and give yourself up as hopeless, you abandon yourself to despair and decide that there is no hope for you, and that this time, you have been completely eliminated. You admit that you do not pursue the truth, so why do you not repent? Have you practiced the truth? Surely you cannot have understood nothing, after attending sermons for several years. Why don’t you practice the truth at all? You never seek the truth, let alone practice it. You are merely constantly praying, making resolutions, setting aspirations, and pledging in your heart. And what is the outcome? You remain a people pleaser, you are not forthcoming about the problems you encounter, you do not care about evil people when you see them, you do not respond when someone does evil or creates a disturbance, and you remain aloof when you are not affected personally. You think, ‘I don’t talk about anything that doesn’t concern me. As long as it doesn’t hurt my interests, my vanity, or my image, I disregard everything without exception. I have to be very careful, as the bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot. I’m not going to do anything stupid!’ You are totally and unwaveringly controlled by your corrupt dispositions of wickedness, deceitfulness, hardness, and aversion to the truth. They have grown harder for you to bear than the tightening golden headband worn by the Monkey King. Living under the control of corrupt dispositions is so exhausting and excruciating!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words pierced my heart like a knife. I reflected on how I was always afraid of offending Wang Li and didn’t dare practice the truth and reveal the facts. I was controlled by these satanic dispositions of being evil, deceitful, and averse to the truth. I was treating the satanic philosophies for worldly dealings such as “Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance,” “If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings,” “When you know something is wrong, it is better to say less,” and “Being frank annoys others” as laws to live by. I didn’t dare speak up about the problems I saw, stick to principles, or protect the work of the church. I was living a cowardly life. When the leader wanted me to dismiss Wang Li, it was very clear to me that it had to be done right away, otherwise the church’s work would be delayed. But I couldn’t open my mouth, afraid of offending her. On the outside, it looked like I was nice and didn’t want to hurt anybody, but I was actually selling out the interests of the church in exchange for maintaining a positive image in the hearts of others. I shielded Wang Li at every turn, indulging her disruption of the church’s work. I was like a shield for Satan, allowing it to run rampant in the church. I was a hypocritical, deceitful person! Those satanic philosophies are just fallacies that mislead and hurt people! Modern society is so dark and evil, because people live by them. They become cowardly and despicable, and hate the light. No one dares stand up, uphold justice and expose the truth. But those who are ingratiating prosper and gain power. There’s no justice or righteousness in this. Everyone is deceiving each other without any sincerity. That’s what becomes of humans corrupted by Satan. I finally saw clearly that these satanic philosophies appear to be in line with human notions, but are actually devilish words Satan uses to mislead and corrupt people. Living by them just makes us more and more selfish, evil, and deceitful. It’s a vile, filthy way to live, with no trace of humanity.

Later, I read a passage of God’s words: “If you hold nothing back, if you do not put on a front, a pretense, or cover things up, if you lay yourself bare to the brothers and sisters, do not hide your innermost ideas and thoughts, but instead allow others to see your honest attitude, then the truth will gradually take root in you, it will blossom and bear fruit, it will yield results, little-by-little. If your heart is increasingly honest, and increasingly oriented toward God, and if you know to protect the interests of God’s house when you perform your duty, and your conscience is troubled when you fail to protect these interests, then this is proof that the truth has had an effect in you, and has become your life. Once the truth has become life in you, when you observe someone who is blasphemous toward God, unfearful of God, and perfunctory while performing their duty, or who disrupts and disturbs church work, you will respond according to the truth principles, and will be able to identify and expose them as necessary. … If you are someone who truly believes in God, then even if you have yet to gain the truth and life, at the very least you will speak and act from the side of God; at the very least, you will not stand idly by when you see the interests of the house of God being compromised. When you have the urge to turn a blind eye, you will feel guilty, and ill at ease, and will say to yourself, ‘I can’t sit here and do nothing, I must stand up and say something, I must take responsibility, I must expose this evil behavior, I must stop it, so that the interests of the house of God are not harmed, and the church life is not disturbed.’ If the truth has become your life, then not only will you have this courage and resolve, and will you be capable of understanding the matter completely, but you will also fulfill the responsibility you should bear for God’s work and for the interests of His house, and your duty will thereby be fulfilled” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Reading this left me feeling both guilty and motivated. After all those years of faith, enjoying the truth God supplies, I still couldn’t uphold principles or protect the church’s work. I truly had no conscience! I had to take off my people-pleasing mask. I couldn’t keep living by my evil, deceitful corrupt disposition. I had to stand up to practice the truth and protect the church’s work. After that, I went to talk to Wang Li and dismissed her. I also opened up to her in fellowship, exposing one by one her behaviors of refusing to accept the truth, oppressing people, and disrupting the church’s work. I stopped saying nice things that wouldn’t hurt her to deceive her. I truly wanted to help her and expose her problems, so that she could understand her corrupt disposition and genuinely repent. She was so upset that she cried when I was done, and said she was ready to accept the church’s arrangements, to go back and truly reflect and learn a lesson. The brothers’ and sisters’ states gradually recovered after that, and the work slowly started getting results. I genuinely felt the peace and ease that comes from practicing the truth. It’s the only way to live in the light.

There were some work transfers later, so I started watering newcomers with a few other sisters. I saw Sister Chen Si didn’t have much of a burden in her duty, and was negligent and irresponsible, which impacted the watering work. I was worried about it and wanted to point out her problem so she could change as soon as possible. But we’d just gotten to know each other and we were getting along so well, so I wondered if I were direct about her irresponsibility in her duty, would she get annoyed with me? Then I realized I was thinking like a people pleaser, so I quickly said a prayer. Then I read the word of God: “‘And Jehovah God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat of it: for in the day that you eat thereof you shall surely die.’ … In these brief words that God spoke, can you see anything of God’s disposition? Are these words of God true? Is there any deception? Is there any falsity? Is there any intimidation? (No.) God honestly, truthfully and sincerely told man what he may eat and what he may not eat. God spoke clearly and plainly. Is there any hidden meaning in these words? Are these words not straightforward? Is there any need for conjecture? There is no need for guesswork. Their meaning is obvious at a glance. Upon reading them, one feels entirely clear about their meaning. That is, what God wants to say and what He wants to express comes from His heart. The things God expresses are clean, straightforward and clear. There are no covert motives, nor any hidden meanings. He speaks to man directly, telling him what he may eat and what he may not eat. That is to say, through these words of God, man can see that God’s heart is transparent and true. There is no trace of falsehood here; it is not a case of telling you that you may not eat what is edible, or telling you ‘Do it and see what happens’ with things that you cannot eat. This is not what God means. Whatever God thinks in His heart, that is what He says” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique IV). I saw that what God said to Adam and Eve was perfectly clear and straightforward. He is sincere to humans and does not hide anything. God’s essence is so holy. In the last days, God expresses the truth to judge and chastise man. His words directly expose and dissect man’s nature essence, and reveal our inner ugliness and unrighteousness. His words are very clear and hide nothing. They may be harsh, but they are our salvation. Their purpose is to cleanse and transform us, so we can know ourselves, rebel against Satan, and live out a true human likeness. Satan is exactly the opposite: It is sinister and evil, and talks in a roundabout way, never directly saying what it wants. It started out by saying nice, false things that sounded plausible to entice and mislead Adam and Eve, so they would sin and betray God. I’d been living by satanic philosophies, revealing an evil and deceitful disposition just like Satan. To protect my relationships with others and safeguard my image in others’ eyes, I thought one thing and said another. I was as crooked as a snake, and so ambiguous and vague that others could not understand the exact meaning of my words. It was so slippery and deceitful of me. I was living out the image of Satan, not like a human. I was disgusted with myself when I realized this and I didn’t want to be a people pleaser and a deceitful person anymore. I wanted to practice the truth and be an honest person who protects the work of the church. In the next day’s gathering, I opened up about the problems I saw in Chen Si, and she was able to recognize her own problems after we fellowshipped together. I saw her state slowly begin to turn around after that, and I felt much freer.

These experiences have shown me that we shouldn’t live by satanic philosophies and trick each other. We should be simple, open and sincere in how we treat one another. Only this is genuine love and it benefits everyone. I also saw that in order to have humanity and to feel peace and joy, we must practice being honest according to God’s requirements. That is the only way to live out a human likeness. Thanks be to God!