56. A Fork in the Road
I was born in a farming village and grew up in a poor family. My parents were simple-minded farmers who were often bullied. As a child, I swore that when I grew up I’d make something of myself and get the other villagers to see us in a new light, to stop looking down on us and bullying us. I started learning martial arts when I was 11 years old, and though it was tiring and I often got hurt, I never gave up regardless of how difficult it got. Later on, wanting to start a business and stand out from the crowd, I went around borrowing money, giving gifts, and cultivating relationships. In 1999, I was finally able to register a martial arts school.
After the school opened, it thrived under my diligent management with profits climbing higher and higher. It won the locals’ approval and my parents were proud of me, feeling like I’d brought honor to the family. The students and their parents fawned over me, and the City Sports Bureau and town mayor valued me highly and were all smiles with me. Seeing everyone’s admiration made me feel important and well-regarded, and my desire for status was fully satisfied. I was so happy, I’d felt like I finally made it in life. I participated in a lot of social events to help the school gain a firm footing, giving bribes to various departments and sending gifts to leaders during holidays so they’d award me certificates of merit and promote the school. To curry favor with them, I said and did countless things that went against my own convictions, afraid that if I slipped up with an official the business, status, and reputation I worked so hard to cultivate would disappear in an instant. I was constantly on tenterhooks and couldn’t relax. It was exhausting both physically and mentally—a difficult, tiring way to live. At the time, I was confused: My business was successful and I’d achieved both name and gain, so why was life so difficult and tiring?
Then, in May 2012, I accepted Almighty God’s gospel of the last days. Gathering and interacting with the brothers and sisters of The Church of Almighty God, I saw it was a place free of deception, without deals of power and money. Everyone was simply focused on pursuing the truth. When they revealed a corrupt disposition, they could open up to fellowship on their self-knowledge, and seek the truth to resolve their issues. That was something I didn’t see out in society. I felt like the path of faith was the right path to walk in life. Reading God’s words, I learned that in the last days, God does the work of rewarding good and punishing evil. Only those who genuinely believe in God and pursue the truth will have God’s care and protection, and will ultimately be saved and kept through the great disasters. For those who don’t have faith or pursue the truth, no matter how well they run a business or how much money they make, it will all come to nothing in the end, and it won’t be able to save their own lives. Once I understood all that, I wasn’t as focused on the school’s development anymore. Instead, when I had extra time I went out and shared the gospel.
My family supported my belief at first. Later on, however, my oldest son saw on the news that the government was oppressing and arresting believers. Afraid that my belief would threaten the school, my son started to oppose my faith, even threatening to report me to the police. A government official I had a good relationship with also advised me, “Faith isn’t allowed in this country. You should give yours up. If you’re arrested, not only will you be sentenced, but your school will probably be shut down. Wouldn’t that destroy your family?” I told him that my faith was the true way and I was determined to keep it until the end. When he couldn’t convince me, he told my wife some of the Communist Party’s lies slandering The Church of Almighty God. He also said believers in “Eastern Lightning” are primary government targets for arrest, and that later generations of their families would be negatively impacted, their children not being allowed to attend college, join the military or become government officials. When my wife heard this she began to fear my faith would negatively affect our children. She started a huge argument with me, even threatening me with divorce. It was all so painful for me: “My second son found such a great job after he graduated with his master’s degree. If he were to lose all that because of my faith, he’d certainly go head-to-head with me. Also, the school I’ve worked so hard to establish is thriving now. If it were shut down because of my faith in God, then wouldn’t all those years of toil have been for nothing? What would the neighbors think of me?” At the time, I didn’t have any appetite and I couldn’t sleep. I was in such anguish that I even had thoughts of giving up my faith, but at the same time I knew that faith was the only path to salvation, so I couldn’t not believe.
I opened up about my state at a gathering. The leader fellowshiped on many of God’s words with me, including this passage: “From the moment you come crying into this world, you begin to fulfill your duty. For God’s plan and for His ordination, you perform your role and start your life’s journey. Whatever your background, and whatever the journey ahead of you, no one can escape the orchestrations and arrangements of Heaven, and no one is in control of their own destiny, for only He who rules over all things is capable of such work” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God Is the Source of Man’s Life). She fellowshiped: “Our fates are all in God’s hands. From the moment each of us is born, everything we are going to experience in this life, what setbacks and difficulties we’ll face, have all been predetermined by God. That we are able to have faith and accept God’s salvation now has also been predetermined by Him. The fact that we are in China and undergo such oppression and hardship for our faith has God’s permission, and He uses this oppression to perfect the faith and devotion of God’s chosen people. Whether you’ll be arrested, whether your school will be closed, what your children’s prospects will be—this is all entirely in God’s hands. No human can determine that, and the government doesn’t have final say, either.” God’s words and the leader’s fellowship were enlightening for me: “It’s true. I’ve already lived half of my life and have experienced so many things, and I realize nothing that happened was ever truly under my control. When I was in the military, for example, I trained hard and performed well. I was supposed to rise to the rank of officer, but then someone else beat me to it at the last minute. On the other hand, I experienced all sorts of difficulties when setting up my school, but in the end I got it up and running smoothly, and now it’s going well. These successes and failures were outside of human control.” Thinking about all of this, I realized that everything we experience in life is determined by God’s rule, and we don’t have a say. Worrying about whether I’d be arrested or not was of no use. God decided that long ago, so I needed to leave it all in God’s hands and submit to His arrangements. The leader then fellowshiped with me about something else: “The true way has been oppressed since ancient times. The more it is the true way, the more Satan’s forces brutally persecute it. How could Satan resign itself to God saving people? When the Lord Jesus came to work, He was madly resisted and persecuted by the Roman government and the religious world, as were His followers. Today, we believe in the true God, so it is inevitable that we are to be arrested and persecuted by the satanic Communist Party regime. God uses this persecution to help us gain discernment, so we can clearly see the Party’s demonic, anti-God essence.”
Later, I read this passage of God’s words: “For thousands of years this has been the land of filth. It is unbearably dirty, misery abounds, ghosts run rampant everywhere, tricking and deceiving, making groundless accusations, being ruthless and vicious, trampling this ghost town and leaving it littered with dead bodies; the stench of decay covers the land and pervades the air, and it is heavily guarded. Who can see the world beyond the skies? The devil tightly trusses all of man’s body, it veils both his eyes, and seals his lips firmly shut. The king of devils has rampaged for several thousand years, right up until today, when it still keeps a close watch on the ghost town, as if it were an impenetrable palace of demons; this pack of watchdogs, meanwhile, stare with glaring eyes, deeply fearful that God will catch them unawares and wipe them all out, leaving them without a place of peace and happiness. How could the people of a ghost town such as this ever have seen God? Have they ever enjoyed the dearness and loveliness of God? What appreciation have they of the matters of the human world? Who of them can understand God’s eager intentions? Small wonder, then, that God incarnate remains completely hidden: In a dark society such as this, where the demons are merciless and inhumane, how could the king of devils, who kills people without batting an eye, tolerate the existence of a God who is lovely, kind, and also holy? How could it applaud and cheer the arrival of God? These lackeys! They repay kindness with hate, they began treating God as an enemy long ago, they abuse God, they are savage in the extreme, they have not the slightest regard for God, they plunder and pillage, they have lost all conscience, they go against all conscience, and they tempt the innocent into senselessness. Forefathers of the ancient? Beloved leaders? They all oppose God! Their meddling has left all beneath heaven in a state of darkness and chaos! Religious freedom? The legitimate rights and interests of citizens? They are all tricks for covering up sin!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Work and Entry (8)). God’s words showed me that the Communist Party is an atheistic party, an enemy of God that won’t allow for God’s existence. It claims to permit religious freedom, but that’s just a misleading lie. It’s afraid that if people gain faith, read God’s words, and learn the truth, they’ll realize the party is Satan itself that hurts people, rebel against and reject it. Then, its ambition and goal to forever control people will be dashed. So, to keep people from believing in and following God, it madly arrests and persecutes God’s chosen people and uses the media to malign and slander The Church of Almighty God. It even threatens believers’ families, getting them to oppress and defy believers until they give up their faith, lose God’s salvation, and are destroyed in hell along with the party. The Communist Party is incredibly vile and wicked! My family had been misled by it and started oppressing me. If I gave in to my family’s oppression, I’d just be falling for Satan’s tricks. I couldn’t be taken in by it. No matter how my family stood in my way, I knew I had to keep my faith and continue doing my duty.
Seeing how determined I was to follow God, my oldest son ramped up his persecution. One day, he even ran me out of the school right in front of my students. He yelled at me in anger, “The government doesn’t allow religion, but you insist on believing! If you’re arrested, the whole family will be implicated, even my children. How is that acceptable? If you want to keep your faith you need to leave the school, and don’t drag us into it!” I just couldn’t believe my ears, that my very own son could say something so heartless to me, chasing me out just for believing in God. I was really hurt: “If I were kicked out of my own school, wouldn’t that mean my whole life’s blood, sweat, and tears have been for nothing? Who would call me ‘Headmaster,’ and who would look up to me? I wouldn’t get to enjoy those things anymore. I’d just become an average farmer again. How could I face my friends and acquaintances?” These thoughts were unbearably painful for me. “Where would I go if my son kicked me out? Should I just listen to him?” As this all occurred to me, I thought of God’s words: “If people do not have any confidence, it is not easy for them to continue down this path. Everyone can now see that God’s work does not conform in the slightest with people’s notions and imaginings. God has done so much work and spoken so many words, and though people may acknowledge that they are the truth, notions about God are still liable to arise in them. If people wish to understand the truth and gain it, they must have the confidence and willpower to be able to stand by what they have already seen and what they have gained from their experiences. No matter what God does in people, they must uphold what they themselves possess, be sincere in front of God, and remain devoted to Him to the very end. This is mankind’s duty. People must uphold that which they should do” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. You Should Maintain Your Devotion to God). “Do not be discouraged, do not be weak, and I will make things clear for you. The road to the kingdom is not so smooth; nothing is that simple! You want blessings to come to you easily, do you not? Today, everyone will have bitter trials to face. Without such trials, the loving heart you have for Me will not grow stronger and you will not have true love for Me. Even if these trials consist merely of minor circumstances, everyone must pass through them; it’s just that the difficulty of the trials will vary from one person to another” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 41). God’s words helped calm me down. It’s true, the path of faith isn’t all smooth sailing. We have to endure some hardships, and without confidence it’s hard to stay on the path. If I became negative and retreated because of this oppression, where was my confidence? Before I believed in God, when I was out in the world struggling all those years to get ahead, it was a difficult, tiring, and hopeless way to live. Now, I was lucky enough to encounter this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity—God coming to save mankind. How could I just casually give it up? How could I be saved by God if I did? The Lord Jesus said: “Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much better than they?” (Matthew 6:26). God creates the birds, who don’t sow or reap, but He still allows them to survive. Now that I believed in God and did my duty, God would open up a path for me. If my son kicked me out of the house, I believed God would lead me, and I had nothing to worry about. This thought renewed my confidence and I no longer felt constrained by him. Seeing that I was remaining steadfast in my faith, he angrily pushed me toward the school’s entrance. I had no choice but to leave the school behind and go stay at my parents’ house for a while.
That evening, thinking about my plight, I felt miserable. I prayed to God: “God, I don’t know what Your intention is in this. I know that by believing in You I am walking the right path, so why is my son treating me this way? Please guide me to understand Your intention.” Then, I thought of a passage of God’s words some brothers and sisters had shared with me: “In every step of work that God does within people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements or from human disturbance. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God. Take when Job was tried, for example: Behind the scenes, Satan was making a bet with God, and what happened to Job was the deeds of men and the disturbance of men. Behind every step of work that God does in you is Satan’s wager with God—behind it all is a battle” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God). By pondering God’s words I could see that on the surface this issue appeared to be my son being misled by the Communist Party’s lies, oppressing and hindering my faith, and kicking me out of my own school. In reality, however, it was Satan being disruptive, misleading, and manipulating the situation just to see what I would choose—would I maintain my family relationships, protect my name and status, and betray God? Or would I let go of these personal interests and continue following God? My situation worried me, as I lacked true faith in God, and didn’t have the resolve to give everything up for Him. Satan was targeting my weak points—my desire for reputation and status, and my concern for my family—to get me to betray God, to leave Him behind. Then, ultimately, it would ruin me and swallow me up. Satan is so sinister and evil! Understanding this made me feel a little better. I resolved that no matter what my family did to stop me and what hardships I faced later on in life, I’d stay strong in my faith and follow God until the end, humiliating Satan.
Since I couldn’t stay at my parents’ house long, I had to go back to the school. After I went back, I continued attending gatherings and sharing the gospel. My oldest son and his wife stepped up their oppression when they saw I didn’t give up on my faith. They often said awful things to me, cursing at me and telling me to go away. They also took control of my school’s finances, leaving me without a single cent. They frequently said hurtful things just to upset me, and for a while, I was constantly angry and struggled to eat, so my health took a turn for the worse. My vision would go black when I walked, and I nearly fainted several times. I developed gastritis, and I was in so much pain in the evenings that the only way to get some relief was to shove a pillow against my stomach. When I couldn’t sleep at night I’d go out to the school grounds and look at the training building, offices, cafeteria and dorms. Gazing at the school I’d worked so hard to build really weighed on me. I wondered how many roads I’d traveled, how many connections I’d made, and how much I’d suffered just to open this school. Now that I’d gained some success, it was being taken away by my very own son. It was my life’s work. Now, if I were to keep my faith, I would risk losing it all. Thinking about it this way was like a knife through the heart for me. I was so weak during that time, always crying in secret at night. In tears, I prayed to God, “Oh God, I’m going to lose this business I’ve spent my life building, and I just can’t bear to let it go. Please guide me to overcome this situation.”
My brothers and sisters shared some of God’s words with me later that gave me a path to practice. God’s words say: “Now you should be able to clearly see the precise path that Peter took. If you can clearly see Peter’s path, then you will be certain about the work being done today, so you will not complain or be negative, or long for anything. You should experience Peter’s mood at the time: He was stricken with sorrow; he no longer asked for a future or any blessings. He did not seek profit, happiness, fame, or fortune in the world; he only sought to live the most meaningful life, which was to repay God’s love and dedicate what he held utterly most precious to God. Then he would be satisfied in his heart” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. How Peter Came to Know Jesus). Thinking over God’s words opened my eyes. Back then, Peter suffered his family’s oppression for his faith, too. His family wanted him to make a name for himself and bring glory to the household, but he wasn’t constrained by them. When the Lord Jesus called upon him, he gave up everything to follow the Lord and pursue a life of meaning. Peter’s experience was enlightening for me. Peter had genuine faith in God and was able to give up everything to follow Him. He pursued the truth, and came to know and love God, ultimately gaining God’s approval. I’d been a believer for a short time and had a shallow understanding of the truth, but thinking about the misery my past pursuit of name and status had brought me, and then looking at the path taken by Peter that gained God’s approval was truly inspiring for me. I wanted to follow Peter’s example, let go of name and reputation, and pursue the truth. Later on I decided to leave the school and keep practicing my faith and doing my duty.
A few days later, some of my old military friends got really angry when they learned about my son kicking me out of the school, and were coming up with ideas left and right for me to get it back. Friends and relatives were all decrying the injustice, and the village secretary helped me by providing official certification that I’d built up the school on my own, and no one else had a stake in it. Hearing all that they said, I thought: “Now, with this certification, if my military friends help me get the school back, I’ll regain all the prestige I lost.” I realized I had the urge to pursue name and status again, so I silently prayed to God, asking Him to give me the strength to rebel against the flesh. I thought of Job’s experience after my prayer. All of his possessions were taken away from him overnight, and though it was incredibly painful, he didn’t rely on his own devices to go wrest them back. Instead, he prayed and submitted to God’s arrangements. My property was nowhere near the equivalent of Job’s riches, but if I didn’t pray and seek with God in the face of this situation, instead wanting to get it back on my own, how was that submitting to God at all? Plus, if I did recover the school and had to spend all day running it, I wouldn’t have the energy to practice my faith and do my duty. Now that my son had taken the school from me, I could practice my faith and do my duty wholeheartedly. That was a wonderful thing. This thought brightened my heart quite a bit. I realized that I was never able to let go of the school because I was too deeply corrupted and cared too much about reputation and status.
I read this passage of God’s words later on: “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy for worldly dealings, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him. Man’s disposition becomes more vicious by the day, and there is not a single person who will willingly give up anything for God, not a single person who will willingly submit to God, nor, moreover, a single person who will willingly seek the appearance of God. Instead, under the power of Satan, man does nothing but pursue pleasure, giving himself over to the corruption of the flesh in the land of mud. Even when they hear the truth, those who live in darkness give no thought to putting it into practice, nor are they inclined to seek out God even if they have beheld His appearance. How could a mankind so depraved have any chance of salvation? How could a mankind so decadent live in the light?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God). God’s words revealed my precise state. Ever since I was little, my parents and teachers taught me things like “Man struggles upward; water flows downward,” “One must endure the greatest hardships in order to become the greatest of men,” “Stand out above the rest,” and “Bring honor to your ancestors.” These satanic philosophies had become deeply entrenched within my heart, establishing within me a warped perspective on life and its values. I thought that getting ahead, being better than others, and gaining reputation and status was the only way to live a life of integrity and value. I was ready to endure any hardship so I could make a name for myself. When I was managing the martial arts school, every day was particularly tiring. I used the money I’d earned by the sweat of my brow to curry favor with government officials, boot-licking and sweet-talking them, living without any dignity. I’d have to send government leaders holiday gifts in advance, afraid of getting in trouble for even the slightest misstep. Maintaining those complex interpersonal relationships was exhausting both mentally and physically, but I was deeply mired in it and couldn’t extricate myself. The people around me recklessly committed all sorts of misdeeds after gaining name and status, engaging in corruption and bribery, seeing prostitutes, and gambling—they had no limits. That’s entirely how Satan corrupts and harms people. My son seizing the school I’d built with my own two hands was also due to him being overcome by the allure of gain and status. He disregarded the love between father and son for that gain. It reminded me of the ancient imperial families where brothers, fathers and sons would murder each other to seize the throne. That was Satan’s fallacies and devilish words corrupting people to the point of losing all humanity and reason. At that point I saw how reputation and status are shackles with which Satan binds humanity. If we live by Satan’s philosophies, seeking reputation and status, we’ll just become more and more corrupt and life will become increasingly painful. God did not want to see me corrupted by Satan any longer, and so when I was deep in the mire of reputation and status, God’s words showed me that pursuing the truth is the right path, the only way to live a meaningful life. I was bound and constrained by satanic philosophies, so when I lost the pleasures of money, reputation, and status, I found them hard to let go of, and I was miserable. I even wanted to open a lawsuit to get those things back. I was so foolish. If I’d gone on that way, I’d just continue letting Satan harm me, and ultimately I’d be destroyed together with it. The Lord Jesus said: “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26). It’s true. No matter how much money or reputation someone has, it can’t buy the truth or life! Today, I’ve lost the possessions, reputation and status I’ve built up over most of my life, but through this experience I’ve learned how those things harm people, and how the frightening consequences of pursuing them can be. I’ve also learned the meaning and value of pursuing the truth, and have become able to let go of material possessions to follow God and do my duty. This is God’s great salvation for me. The moment I understood God’s intention, I didn’t want to fight with my son or sue him anymore. I only cared about submitting to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, properly pursuing the truth and doing my duty.
Since then, I’ve been sharing the gospel in the church and doing my duty. Although I don’t have others’ admiration anymore, I feel more at peace than I ever have, and every day is fulfilling. I am certain in my heart that having faith and following God is the best choice and the most meaningful way to live. Thank God!