By Rubylen, the Philippines

Since I was a child, my parents taught me to be friendly with people, and to be an approachable and empathetic person. If people around me had problems or shortcomings, I wasn’t supposed to expose them directly, I had to think about their pride. Because of this education, I never got into any conflicts or disputes with anyone, and the people around me thought that I was a good person and wanted to associate with me. I thought that this was a good way to behave too. After I started believing in God, I interacted with my brothers and sisters in the same way. Especially after becoming a church leader, I believed that I should be friendly to the brothers and sisters and not accuse others of mistakes lightly. That way, I wouldn’t ruin the good relationship I had with them, and the brothers and sisters would want to interact with me, and praise me as an amiable and good leader.

Later on, I found that a group leader, Sister Joan, wasn’t bearing a burden in her duty and that she didn’t do any actual work. I reminded her many times, “As a group leader, you should care about and understand the states of your brothers and sisters and follow up on their work.” But she still didn’t do as I’d told her, so I had to remind her again and ask her why. She said she only had an hour of free time, but she used it to go on Facebook and watch movies, so she hadn’t followed up on any of the work. After hearing this, I was very angry, and I thought, “You are so lazy, and bear no burden at all. Some brothers and sisters aren’t attending gatherings and you’re not thinking of ways to support them.” I wanted to prune her for muddling through her duty and being irresponsible, but then I thought that it might make her distance herself from me and say I wasn’t a good and approachable leader. I didn’t want to ruin our harmonious relationship, so instead of pruning her, I tried to encourage her. I said, “You can use this hour of free time to try to understand the states of your brothers and sisters, and then you can do your duty well.” After being told this, she did better for a few days, but was soon back to her old ways. Because she muddled through her duty, more and more newcomers stopped attending gatherings regularly, and some newcomers stopped coming altogether. I was really angry. She was so irresponsible! I really wanted to prune her, but I also worried that she would distance herself from me, so I didn’t say anything, and I had to water and support those newcomers myself. After I spoke to them, I found out that they weren’t coming to gatherings because they had many difficulties that hadn’t been resolved, but Joan had told me before that they just didn’t reply to messages. After seeing Joan’s careless attitude toward her duty, I really wanted to prune her and let her know that her irresponsibility in her duty had led to such serious consequences. But I also wanted to be a good leader who was amiable and approachable, so I changed my mind, and again just said a few things to encourage her. As a result, she still didn’t change. At one gathering, Joan complained, “I’ve been in this group a long time. Why haven’t I been promoted?” After hearing this, I thought, “You’re so lazy, you muddle through your duty, and you’re irresponsible. How could you possibly be promoted?” Although I was mad at her, I comforted her, saying, “In any duty we perform, we do so because of God’s sovereignty and arrangements. Although our duties are different, we are all watering newcomers.” I thought this would make her feel that I understood her and cared for her, and that I was a good leader. And just like that, when I was faced with my brothers’ and sisters’ problems, I never exposed or pruned them. Instead, I said some nice things to comfort and encourage them. I thought doing this would preserve my good, approachable image in everyone’s hearts.

Another time, the gospel deacon, Edna, and a group leader named Anne weren’t cooperating harmoniously. Edna said to me angrily, “Anne is too lazy! When I asked her about the states and difficulties of the brothers and sisters in her group, she took a long time to respond. This meant I wasn’t able to understand the situation quickly. She doesn’t do her duty well!” I knew Edna had a rather arrogant disposition, and she spoke with a tone that was like that of an order or a demand, which others found hard to accept. Anne was quite proud and it was likely that she couldn’t stand Edna’s tone, and that was why she didn’t want to reply. I wanted to point this out to Edna, but I also didn’t want her to feel hurt or that I didn’t understand her, so I told her in a friendly way, “Maybe Anne was busy and didn’t see your message.” After that, I went to Anne, and Anne said unhappily, “Edna is too arrogant! She always makes demands of me, so I don’t want to reply to her messages.” When I saw that she wouldn’t take advice from others, I wanted to caution her about this, but I was worried she wouldn’t accept it, and that it would destroy the harmony between us, so I said, “Maybe you misunderstood Edna. She just wants you to do your duty well.” Just like that, I only spoke words of comfort and exhortation to them and didn’t point out their problems. Neither of them understood themselves, Edna still had no way of following up on Anne’s work, and Anne believed that she had been wronged, to the extent that she felt unable to perform her duty. I knew that I hadn’t fulfilled my responsibilities as a leader, that was why they weren’t aware of their own problems. I had caused that to happen. I prayed to God, asking Him to enlighten me so that I could know myself.

One day, I read in God’s words: “Practicing the truth is not about saying empty words or shouting slogans. Rather it is about how, no matter what people encounter in life, as long as it involves the principles of human conduct, their perspectives on things, or the matter of performing their duties, they are faced with making a choice, and they should seek the truth, search for a basis and principles in God’s words, and then find a path of practice. Those who can practice in this way are people who pursue the truth. To be able to pursue the truth in this way no matter how great the difficulties one encounters is to walk the path of Peter, the path of pursuing the truth. For example: What principle should be followed when it comes to interacting with others? Perhaps your original viewpoint is that ‘Harmony is a treasure; forbearance is brilliance,’ and that you should keep on everyone’s good side, avoid causing others to lose face, and offend no one, thereby achieving good relations with others. Constricted by this viewpoint, you keep silent when you witness others doing bad things or violating the principles. You would rather that the work of the church suffers losses than offend anyone. You seek to stay on everyone’s good side, no matter who they are. You think only about human sentiments and saving face when you speak, and you always speak nice-sounding words to please others. Even if you discover that someone has problems, you choose to tolerate them, and just talk about them behind their back, but to their face you keep the peace and maintain your relationship. What do you think of such conduct? Is it not that of a people pleaser? Is it not pretty slippery? It violates the principles of human conduct. Is it not lowly to conduct yourself in such a manner? Those who act like this are not good people, this is not a noble way to conduct oneself. No matter how much you have suffered, and no matter how many prices you have paid, if you conduct yourself without principles, then you have failed in this respect, and your conduct will not be recognized, remembered, or accepted before God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. To Perform One’s Duty Well, One Must at Least Be Possessed of a Conscience and Reason). After contemplating God’s words, I understood that practicing the truth means acting according to the truth principles no matter what happens, and not being afraid to offend people. And yet, when I interacted with my brothers and sisters, I always wanted to leave them with a positive impression and maintain harmony between us. I strove to be an approachable and empathetic leader to win their praise, but I didn’t focus on practicing the truth. When I saw Joan watering newcomers without bearing a burden and being lazy, I wanted to prune her for being irresponsible, but in order to maintain a good relationship with her and make her think that I was a good and approachable leader, I didn’t expose her problem. As a result, because of her irresponsibility, some newcomers’ problems went unresolved and they didn’t come to gatherings. With Edna and Anne, I saw that they weren’t cooperating harmoniously and didn’t know themselves—I should have pointed out their problems and helped them understand themselves. This would have been beneficial to the work and would have helped with their life entry, but I just tried to smooth things over and gave them some words of comfort and exhortation. As a result, the two of them weren’t performing their duties well. To maintain my image as a good leader who was amiable and approachable, I didn’t protect the interests of the church at all. I preferred to let the work of the church suffer so that I could maintain my relationships with people. I was so selfish and despicable. I was a people pleaser and a deceitful person. The way I acted and conducted myself was entirely based on my corrupt disposition. I was not practicing the truth at all. Even if I was praised by others, I would never be commended by God. I didn’t expose or point out the problems of my brothers and sisters, and I didn’t fellowship on the truth to resolve them. This meant that they didn’t recognize their own corrupt dispositions or perform their duties well, which affected the work of the church. I wasn’t helping the brothers and sisters to know themselves or progress in their life entry. Instead, I was protecting the image people had of me as a good leader, so that they would praise and look up to me, which is loathsome to God. When I recognized this, I felt very sad, so I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me in resolving my corrupt dispositions.

Later, after learning about my state, a sister sent me a passage of God’s words: “The essence behind good behavior such as being approachable and amiable can be described in one word: pretense. Such good behavior is not born of the words of God, nor as a result of practicing the truth or acting according to principle. What is it produced by? It comes from people’s motives, schemes, from them pretending, putting on an act, being deceitful. When people cling to these good behaviors, the aim is to get the things they want; if not, they would never aggrieve themselves in this way, and live contrary to their own desires. What does it mean, to live contrary to their own desires? It is that their true nature is not as well-behaved, guileless, gentle, kind, and virtuous as people imagine. They do not live by conscience and sense; instead, they live in order to achieve a certain aim or demand. What is man’s true nature? It is muddleheaded and ignorant. Without the laws and commandments bestowed by God, people would have no idea what sin is. Is this not what mankind used to be like? Only when God issued the laws and commandments did people have some concept of sin. But still they had no concept of right and wrong, or of positive and negative things. And how, with this being the case, could they be aware of the correct principles for speaking and acting? Could they know which ways of acting, which good behaviors, ought to be found in normal humanity? Could they know what produces truly good behavior, what kind of way they should follow to live out a human likeness? They could not. Because of people’s satanic nature, because of their instincts, they could only pretend and put on an act to live decently, and with dignity—which is what gave rise to deceits such as being well-educated and sensible, gentle and refined, courteous, respecting the old and caring for the young, and being amiable and approachable; thus emerged these tricks and techniques of deception. And once they emerged, people selectively clung to one or several of these deceits. Some chose to be amiable and approachable, some chose to be well-educated and sensible, gentle and refined, some chose to be courteous, to respect the old and care for the young, some chose to be all of these things. And yet I define people with such good behaviors with one term. What is that term? ‘Smooth stones.’ What are smooth stones? It is those smooth stones in rivers that have been scoured and polished of any sharp edges by long years of passing water. And though they may not hurt to step on, without care people can slip on them. In appearance and shape, these stones are very beautiful, but once you have taken them home, they are quite useless. You can’t bear to throw them away, but there is no point in keeping them, either—which is what a ‘smooth stone’ is. To Me, people with these apparently good behaviors are tepid. They pretend to be good on the outside, but do not accept the truth at all, they say nice-sounding things, but don’t do anything real. They are nothing but smooth stones” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (3)). Before, I always felt that people who are approachable and amiable are good people, never expecting that satanic, corrupt dispositions and personal goals and intents lay behind this kind of “good” behavior. I had strived to be an approachable and amiable person since I was a child, and those around me all praised me for being empathetic, but actually, everything I did was to make others look up to me and praise me. I used the apparently good behaviors of being approachable and amiable to blind and deceive my brothers and sisters. God characterizes people with this kind of “good” behavior as “smooth stones.” These stones look good on the outside, and it doesn’t hurt to step on them, but it’s very easy to slip on them and fall. They’re fine to look at, but they have no practical use. That’s who I was. I appeared to be approachable and amiable, and I would never hurt anyone, but I also offered no real help to my brothers and sisters. Instead, my heart was full of deceit and trickery. I got along with everyone and didn’t offend anybody. I was just a “smooth stone,” a people pleaser who always stuck to the middle ground, and a cunning hypocrite. It’s just as God’s word reveals: “Those who walk the middle path are the most insidious people of all. They offend no one, they are smooth and slick, they are good at playing along in all situations, and no one can see their faults. They are like living Satans!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Practicing the Truth Can One Cast Off the Shackles of a Corrupt Disposition). I used to think that being approachable and amiable would make other people like me, and that God would approve of me too. Now I knew that my actions weren’t at all in line with the truth principles and God’s word. They were revelations of my deceitful disposition. People who act like this have no dignity or character, and God hates them. I knew that if I didn’t repent and change, one day I would be revealed and eliminated by God. I didn’t want to be that kind of person anymore. So, I prayed to God and repented. I asked Him to help me change my disposition, give me the strength to practice the truth, and be sincere with Him and my brothers and sisters.

One day, a sister sent me these words of God:

What is the standard by which a person’s actions and behavior are judged to be good or evil? It is whether or not they, in their thoughts, revelations, and actions, possess the testimony of putting the truth into practice and of living out the truth reality. If you do not have this reality or live this out, then without doubt, you are an evildoer.

—The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition

The responsibilities of leaders and workers:

1. Lead people to eat and drink of God’s words and understand them, and to enter the reality of God’s words.

2. Be familiar with the states of each sort of person, and resolve the various difficulties relating to life entry they encounter in their real lives.

3. Fellowship the truth principles that should be understood in order to perform each duty properly.

4. Keep abreast of the circumstances of supervisors of different work and personnel responsible for various important jobs, and promptly alter their duties or dismiss them as necessary, so as to prevent or mitigate losses caused by using unsuitable people, and guarantee the efficiency and smooth progress of the work.

5. Maintain an up-to-date grasp and understanding of the status and progress of each item of work, and be able to promptly resolve problems, correct deviations, and remedy flaws in the work so that it will progress smoothly.

…………

—The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (1)

After reading God’s words, I understood that His standard for evaluating our humanity is not how many “good” behaviors we appear to engage in or how many people think highly of us. Instead, it is whether we can submit to God and whether in our thoughts and deeds we possess the testimony of putting the truth into practice. Only that kind of people have good humanity. I had seen Joan muddling through her duty and being irresponsible, as well as Edna and Anne living in their corrupt dispositions and mutual spite. Their actions had already taken a toll on the work of the church. As a church leader, I should have fellowshipped to help them, exposed, and dissected the nature of what they did, but instead I just said nice things to them and tried to be a peacemaker. Even as I saw the work of the church suffer, I was still just trying to maintain my good image. Not only did I not have testimony of practicing the truth, I had failed to fulfill my responsibilities as a church leader and hadn’t helped the life entry of my brothers and sisters in the slightest bit. In the past, I’d believed that if I could live in harmony with my brothers and sisters and make them think I was approachable and amiable, then I was a good leader. In reality, that is a misapprehension, and it does not align with the requirements of God at all. That’s because a good leader is someone who can practice the truth to protect the interests of the church, who can fellowship on the truth to resolve their brothers’ and sisters’ problems and difficulties, and lead them to enter the reality of God’s word. Whereas I wasn’t exposing or pointing out my brothers’ and sisters’ problems, or helping them to understand the truth and do their duties well. Instead, I played tricks to protect my own pride and image, I gave them words of comfort and exhortation, and didn’t solve any actual problems. By doing so, I was fooling and deceiving my brothers and sisters. I realized then that to be a truly good leader, every one of my words and deeds had to be up to the standards of God’s word, and that if I didn’t practice the truth, I’d be walking the road of resisting God. This is because God wants people who can act according to His words and requirements and not leaders who adhere to traditional cultural virtues, pursue the praise of others, and do not practice the truth. At that thought, I realized that I had to change the way that I interacted with people. I couldn’t keep following philosophies for worldly dealings while interacting with the brothers and sisters or in performing my duty. Instead, I had to help my brothers and sisters resolve their problems and difficulties according to God’s word, so that they could all perform their duties according to the truth principles. That was my responsibility. In God’s word, I found a path of practice. So, I prayed to God, and asked Him to guide me in practicing the truth to resolve my corruption.

Later, I read something in God’s word: “What people should strive to achieve most is to make the words of God their basis, and the truth their criterion; only then can they live in the light and live out the likeness of a normal person. If you wish to live in the light, you should act according to the truth; you should be an honest person who says honest words and does honest things. What is fundamental is to have the truth principles in one’s comportment; once people lose the truth principles, and focus only on good behavior, this inevitably gives rise to fakery and pretense. If there is no principle to people’s comportment, then no matter how good their behavior is, they are hypocrites; they may be able to mislead others for a time, but they will never be trustworthy. Only when people act and comport themselves according to God’s words do they have a true foundation. If they do not comport themselves according to God’s words, and only focus on pretending to behave well, can they become good people as a result? Absolutely not. Good doctrines and behavior cannot change man’s corrupt dispositions, and they cannot change his essence. Only the truth and the words of God can change people’s corrupt dispositions, thoughts, and opinions, and become their life. … In some special instances, it becomes necessary to directly expose other people’s errors and prune them, so that they gain knowledge of the truth and desire to repent. Only then is the due effect achieved. This way of practicing is of great benefit to people. It is a real help to them, and it is constructive for them, is it not?” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (3)). God’s words pointed out the path for me to change my disposition. I needed to act and conduct myself according to God’s words, and use the truth as my criterion. I had to stop disguising myself with apparently good behaviors, and I needed to practice the truth and become an honest person. When I saw things happening that went against the truth principles, or when I saw brothers and sisters performing their duties based on corrupt dispositions, I needed to be honest with them, and treat them according to principles. When someone needed to be helped through fellowship, I had to fellowship and help them; when something needed to be pointed out to someone, I had to point it out; when someone needed to be pruned, I had to prune them. Only by doing those things could the brothers and sisters realize that there were deviations in how they did their duties and turn things around in time. That was the only way to truly help them. I had to build my relationships with them on the foundation of God’s word; that’s how a normal relationship between people should be. After I understood the path to practice the truth, I told myself, “Don’t be afraid to talk about the others’ mistakes, and don’t just say nice things to them all the time. God hates those who disguise themselves and deceive others. My words and deeds must accord with God’s words and I should do things according to the truth principles.” Later, when I saw Joan being lazy again, although I still worried that I would lose my good image in her heart if I pointed it out to her directly, I thought back to the passages of God’s word I had read before and realized that I was still following the idea of being approachable and amiable in how I behaved and conducted myself. I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me in practicing the truth. After that, I went to Joan and said to her, “Because you muddle through your duty and are irresponsible, many newcomers aren’t coming to gatherings. Doing your duty like this really delays the life entry of newcomers and the work of the church.” After pointing out her problem, I also fellowshipped on my own experiences. I thought she would get angry and ignore me, but what happened surprised me. Not only was she not angry, she also reflected on herself and said, “This is my shortcoming, and I need to change it.” After that, Joan started to perform her duty diligently, and the newcomers she watered attended gatherings more regularly. Our relationship didn’t break down because I had given her advice and helped her, it actually got better. Later on, when I saw her revealing some kind of corruption again, I just pointed it out to her directly, and she was able to accept my advice and know herself. Now, her attitude toward her duty has changed a lot, and she has been selected as church leader. I also pointed out Edna’s and Anne’s problems. Edna became aware of her arrogance and egotism, and said she had to change the way she talked to others. Anne also recognized her own corrupt disposition, and said she was willing to change. This made me very happy. Thank God! Only God’s word can change people!

These experiences showed me that a truly good person is not, as people believe, someone with apparently good behaviors. It is someone who acts and conducts themselves by God’s word, practices the truth, and is an honest person. This is the kind of person that God loves. I also realized that when I see problems in the brothers and sisters, I need to promptly fellowship and help them, and expose and prune them when necessary. This is the only way to help people realize their own corruption and shortcomings, so they can then seek the truth to resolve their corruption and do their duties according to principles—it is the best way for me to help my brothers and sisters. Now I am no longer afraid of pointing out their problems. No matter what they may think of me, I will practice being an honest person, uphold the principles, and safeguard the work of the church. Thank God!