By Jiang Ling, China

In 2019 when I was a leader in a church, I met two upper-level leaders. Whenever they fellowshipped about the truth to resolve problems, they grasped the key issue. Their fellowshipping and dissection started on the surface, and then went deeper, proceeding methodically, layer-by-layer, and I felt that I benefited a lot from listening to them, and that they had great insight into problems and possessed the truth reality. Considering that my life experiences were shallow, I thought that having people like that lead me would definitely allow me to make faster progress and understand more of the truth, ensuring that I would attain salvation. Thereafter, whatever problems or difficulties I encountered in my work, I would immediately write to them to seek advice. When I saw that the detailed and methodical guidance in their response letters could resolve my problems and difficulties, I looked up to and relied on them even more. Gradually, I sought them out to help resolve issues large and small, and even some work of general affairs. Whatever state or difficulty I had, I didn’t focus on eating and drinking God’s word to seek the truth, nor did I want to fellowship with the sisters I worked with. Instead, I waited for a gathering with those two leaders to resolve everything. Every time I heard them fellowship at a gathering, I listened intently and diligently took notes, afraid that if I was careless I might miss something. At regular gatherings, those two leaders often pointed out and dissected our individual problems, and if someone who was pruned responded by arguing and justifying themselves, those two leaders would expose them on the spot. Sometimes when I revealed corruption that I wasn’t even aware of, they were able to point out my hidden motives, and fellowship and dissect the nature of my behavior. That made me feel even more strongly that those two leaders understood the truth and possessed reality, so I looked up to and venerated them more and more. But after seeing them in action for some time, I discovered that when they fellowshipped and resolved problems at gatherings, they just pointed out the corrupt dispositions we revealed, but seldom fellowshipped by relating to their own revelations of corruptions and real experiences. Most of the time they just talked about their positive entry, making it seem like they were not corrupt and possessed a great ability to practice the truth. I had a vague feeling that they only focused on work, and didn’t really have any life entry. But then I thought, “They can see through others’ problems and guide our work. Isn’t that also having life entry and possessing reality?” So I still thought highly of them, idolized them, and even emulated their way of working. Whenever I saw that the brothers and sisters had problems in doing their duty or revealed their corrupt dispositions, I would imitate those two leaders and relentlessly expose them. As a result, some of the brothers and sisters became mired in negativity. They were afraid of me, and felt constrained by me. Because I worshiped those two leaders too much, whenever I faced problems I didn’t rely on God to seek the truth. Instead, I always sought them out for resolutions. Gradually, I felt that my thinking was getting increasingly muddled. Whether they were the brothers’ and sisters’ states or work problems, they all seemed hazy to me, and I couldn’t see them clearly, and problems that I could previously resolve now left me baffled. But I still didn’t reflect on myself.

One day in April I heard that those two upper-level leaders had been revealed as false leaders, people who didn’t pursue the truth, and they both resigned. I simply didn’t dare believe it was true. For a few days, I kept wondering, “How could they resign? They are capable and understand so many truth principles, but were both revealed as people who didn’t pursue the truth. I’m not nearly at their level, and if I keep on practicing my faith this way, can I do my duty well and attain salvation?” At the time, I was in agony. I even thought about resigning. I was aware that my state wasn’t right, and couldn’t help but ask myself, “Do I believe in God, or my leaders? Why would I react so strongly to those two upper-level leaders resigning, and even feel that it’s hopeless for me to attain salvation in my belief in God?” I realized that I believed in God, yet worshiped people, and that there was no place for God in my heart. This was a dangerous state to be in, and I was afraid. So I quickly prayed to God and asked Him to guide me to know my own corruption.

The next day I read from the word of God: “It would be best for those people who claim to follow God to open their eyes and take a good look to see exactly who they believe in: Is it really God that you believe in, or Satan? If you know that what you believe in is not God, but your own idols, then it would be best if you did not claim to be a believer. If you really do not know who you believe in, then, again, it would be best if you did not claim to be a believer. To say so would be blasphemy! No one is forcing you to believe in God. Do not say you believe in Me; I have had enough of such talk, and do not wish to hear it again, because what you believe in are the idols in your hearts and the local bullies among you” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. A Warning to Those Who Do Not Practice the Truth). Reading God’s word was very moving, especially the part that says: “It would be best for those people who claim to follow God to open their eyes and take a good look to see exactly who they believe in.” That was really poignant for me, and I felt as if it was me that God was exposing. Thinking back on my experiences with the two upper-level leaders, I had seen them resolve problems clearly and logically and speak in an organized, methodical way. I thus felt that they possessed the truth reality, and if I gathered and fellowshipped with them more often, I would make fast progress in life, ensuring that I would attain salvation. So instead of relying on God to seek the truth to resolve whatever problems or difficulties I faced, I would always ask those two leaders, rely on them, and do whatever they said. In my heart, they had become my idols, and I relied on them. Now that they had resigned, I felt that I had no path or direction in doing my duty. Only then did I realize that all along it was not God, but people that I relied on and looked to. On the outside, I believed in God and did my duty, and every day my mouth prayed to God, but there was no place for God in my heart. Whenever I ran into problems, I always sought out people, and listened to them. I clearly believed in people! Then I remembered these words of God: “People who believe in God should submit to God and worship Him. Do not exalt or look up to any person; do not put God first, the people you look up to second, and yourself third. No person should hold a place in your heart, and you should not consider people—particularly those you venerate—to be on a par with God or to be His equal. This is intolerable to God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Ten Administrative Decrees That Must Be Obeyed by God’s Chosen People in the Age of Kingdom). I felt that God’s righteous disposition tolerates no offense. God is the Creator, and those who believe in God should worship Him and honor Him as great, and must not worship and look up to people. I believed in God, but idolized people, which He detests. If I continued that way, I would offend God’s disposition!

During that time I was always praying to God, and reflecting on why I worshiped those two leaders so much. Reading God’s words, I came to understand this problem better. Almighty God says: “What you admire is not the humility of Christ, but those false shepherds of prominent standing. You do not adore the loveliness or wisdom of Christ, but those libertines who wallow in the filth of the world. You laugh at the pain of Christ who has no place to lay His head, but you admire those corpses that hunt for offerings and live in debauchery. You are not willing to suffer alongside Christ, but you gladly throw yourself into the arms of those reckless antichrists, though they only supply you with flesh, words, and control. Even now, your heart still turns toward them, toward their reputation, toward their status, toward their influence. And yet you continue to hold an attitude of finding the work of Christ hard to swallow and being unwilling to accept it. This is why I say that you lack the faith to acknowledge Christ. The reason you have followed Him to this day is only because you had no other option. A series of lofty images are forever towering in your heart; you cannot forget their every word and deed, nor their influential words and hands. They are, in your heart, forever supreme and forever heroes. But this is not so for the Christ of today. He is forever insignificant in your heart, and forever undeserving of fear. For He is far too ordinary, has far too little influence, and is far from lofty” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Are You a True Believer in God?). “No matter the level of a leader or worker, if you worship them for understanding a bit of the truth and for having a few gifts, and believe that they possess the truth reality and can help you, and if you look up to and depend on them in all things, and through this, you try to attain salvation, then this is foolish and ignorant of you. In the end, it will all come to nothing, because your starting point is inherently wrong. No matter how many truths someone understands, they cannot stand in the stead of Christ, and no matter how gifted someone is, this does not mean they possess the truth—so anyone who worships, looks up to, and follows other people will ultimately all be eliminated and condemned. Believers in God can only look up to and follow God. Leaders and workers, whatever their rank, are still common people. If you see them as your immediate superiors, if you feel that they are superior to you, that they are more competent than you, and that they should lead you, that they are in all ways a cut above anyone else, then you are wrong—that is a delusion. And what consequences will this delusion visit on you? It will lead you unconsciously to measure your leaders against requirements that do not conform with reality, and to be unable to treat correctly the problems and deficiencies they have; at the same time, without your knowing it, you will also be profoundly drawn to their flair, gifts, and talents, such that before you know it, you are worshiping them, and they are your god. That path, from when they start to become your role model, the object of your worship, to when you become one of their followers, is one that will lead you unconsciously away from God. And even as you gradually move away from God, you will still believe that you are following God, that you are in His house, that you are in His presence, when actually, you will have been drawn away by minions of Satan, by antichrists. You will not even sense it. This is a very dangerous state of affairs. To solve this problem requires, in part, the ability to discern the nature essence of the antichrists, and the ability to see through to the ugly face of the antichrists’ hatred of the truth and resistance to God; so, too, does it require being familiar with the antichrists’ commonly used techniques of misleading and ensnaring people, as well as the way they do things. The other piece is that you must pursue knowledge of God’s disposition and essence. It must be clear to you that only Christ is the truth, the way, and the life, that worshiping any person shall visit catastrophe and misfortune on you. You must trust that only Christ can save people, and you must follow and submit to Christ with absolute faith. This alone is the correct path of human life. Some might say: ‘Well, I do have my reasons for worshiping leaders—in my heart, I naturally worship anyone who is talented. I worship any leader who is in line with my notions.’ Why do you insist on worshiping man though you believe in God? When all is said and done, who is it who will save you? Who is it who truly loves you and protects you—can you truly not see? If you believe in God and follow God, you should heed His word, and if someone speaks and acts correctly, and it accords with the truth principles, just submit to the truth—isn’t it as simple as that? Why are you so base? Why do you insist on finding someone whom you worship to follow? Why do you like to be Satan’s slave? Why not be a servant of the truth instead? In this, it is seen whether a person has reason and dignity” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Six). After reading God’s words, I felt like I was exactly the slave of Satan that God had exposed. I liked worshiping people with status and gifts who were well-spoken. I saw that when the two upper-level leaders fellowshipped about the truth to resolve problems, they could grasp the key points, and their fellowshipping was well-organized, clear, and methodical. I was attracted to their gifts and their working ability, and felt that they understood the truth and possessed the truth reality, so I blindly idolized and relied on them. I felt that with them leading me I could understand the truth, do my job well, make fast progress in life, and have hope to attain salvation. But if I strayed from their help and guidance, I had little hope of attaining salvation in my faith. I was so muddled and blind! God is the source of truth, and only He can bestow the truth on humanity, resolve all of mankind’s problems and difficulties, and save us from Satan’s influence. Regardless of how high a person’s status is, or how gifted and capable they are, they have been corrupted by Satan, and they cannot be relied on or an object of worship. Although I believed in God, there was no place for Him in my heart. When facing problems, I never relied on God to seek the truth. Instead, I waited for people to provide a resolution. Wasn’t that foolish of me? Just think—weren’t those two leaders able to see through problems and talk about their knowledge because they understood that from God’s word? And no matter how great their gifts and eloquence, they were corrupt human beings who possessed no truth at all. They also needed to accept God’s judgment and chastisement, and needed God’s salvation. Nevertheless, I looked up to and venerated them, and even wanted to rely on them to walk the path of attaining salvation through belief in God. I was so stupid. Realizing these things, I was afraid. I saw I didn’t pursue the truth, and blindly worshiped people. By giving people a higher status than God in my heart, I had already shunned and betrayed Him, and was walking a path that resisted Him. Those thoughts filled me with remorse and self-recrimination, and I wanted to repent to God.

Only later did I find out the reasons why those two upper-level leaders resigned. One of them was pursuing reputation and status, using work to show off so that other people would look up to him. As a result, when his work didn’t achieve results, he became negative and slacked off. The brothers and sisters fellowshipped and helped him many times, but he didn’t change. In the end, he couldn’t get any real work done, so he resigned. The other leader, because of facing family’s hindrances to his belief, complained that believing in God was a hardship, relinquished his duty and returned to his family home to live his days. Hearing all that surprised me. When those two leaders fellowshipped at regular gatherings, they talked big, and spoke clearly and convincingly when solving other people’s difficulties. But when they themselves faced the same kinds of problems, why couldn’t they stand firm? Why couldn’t they put the truth into practice? I previously thought they could practice the truth, and possessed the truth reality. But now I clearly saw that they didn’t actually possess the truth reality at all. When something happened that compromised their interests, they grumbled and gave up their duties. They were not people who pursued the truth, and the lofty image I had of them in my heart instantly crumbled.

Later on, I ate and drank God’s words related to this problem. Almighty God says: “Holding up God’s words and being able to explain them unabashedly does not mean you are in possession of reality; things are not as simple as you imagine. Whether you are in possession of reality is not based on what you say; rather, it is based on what you live out. Only when God’s words become your life and your natural expression can you be said to have reality, and only then can you be counted as having gained true understanding and actual stature. You must be able to withstand examination over long periods of time, and you must be able to live out the likeness that is required by God. This must not be mere posturing; it must flow from you naturally. Only then will you truly possess reality, and only then will you have gained life. … No matter how ferocious the wind and waves, if you can remain standing without allowing a shred of doubt to enter your mind, and can stand firm and remain free from denial, even when there is no one else left, then you will be counted as having true understanding and genuinely in possession of reality” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Putting the Truth Into Practice Is Possessing Reality). “The good soldiers of the kingdom are not trained to be a group of people who can only talk about reality or boast; rather, they are trained to live out God’s words at all times, to remain unyielding no matter what setbacks they face, and to live constantly in accordance with God’s words and not to return to the world. This is the reality of which God speaks; this is God’s requirement of man. Thus, do not regard the reality spoken of by God as being overly simple. Mere enlightenment from the Holy Spirit does not equal the possession of reality. Such is not the stature of man—it is the grace of God, to which man contributes nothing. Each person must endure Peter’s sufferings, and, even more, possess Peter’s glory, which they live out after they have gained the work of God. Only this can be called reality” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Putting the Truth Into Practice Is Possessing Reality). “Whether the knowledge you profess accords with the truth largely depends on whether you have practical experience of it. Where there is truth in your experience, your knowledge will be practical and valuable. Through your experience, you can also gain discernment and insight, deepen your knowledge, and increase your wisdom and common sense about how you should conduct yourself. The knowledge expressed by people who do not possess the truth is doctrine, no matter how lofty it may be. This type of person may well be very intelligent when it comes to matters of the flesh but cannot make distinctions when it comes to spiritual matters. This is because such people have no experience at all of spiritual affairs. These are people who are not enlightened in spiritual affairs and do not have spiritual understanding. Whatever sort of knowledge you express, as long as it is your being, then it is your personal experience, your real knowledge. What people who speak only of doctrine—those being people who possess neither the truth nor reality—discuss can also be called their being, because they have arrived at their doctrine only through deep contemplation and it is the result of their deep rumination. Yet it is only doctrine, nothing more than imagination!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Work and Man’s Work). After reading God’s words, I suddenly realized that I worshiped those two upper-level leaders so much because I basically didn’t understand what doctrine is and what reality is. Seeing them talk big at gatherings and expose and dissect other people’s corruption, I thought they had the truth reality. But now, thanks to God’s words I understood that being able to cite His words, fellowship about some knowledge, and dissect some problems doesn’t mean someone possesses reality. Possessing reality means that after reading God’s words, people can accept those words and put them into practice. Then no matter what trials and refinements they face, they can submit to God and possess the testimony of putting the truth into practice. People who genuinely possess reality have a real understanding of their own corrupt nature and have real experience and understanding of God’s words, and can use their real experience to guide and help brothers and sisters enter into the reality of God’s words. Those who possess the truth reality work based on principles and do their duty loyally, and no matter what circumstances they encounter, they uphold the work of the church and fulfill their duties. Thinking back on the clear and logical fellowshipping of those two upper-level leaders in gatherings, it seemed like they were quite good at resolving other people’s problems. But when they faced real situations, they abandoned their duties to protect their own interests. I saw that in the past all they talked about were doctrines, but not reality, and when they were put in real situations, they fell. That proved that they didn’t possess the truth reality at all. Thinking back, whenever they resolved others’ problems during regular gatherings, they compared other people to God’s words to get them to understand themselves. I rarely heard them talk about their own corruptions and shortcomings, or dissect their own wrong intentions. They rarely talked about their experiential knowledge of how they sought the truth and practiced the truth. Most of the time they dissected and condemned others from a high position. It was as if they themselves weren’t part of corrupt mankind, and they didn’t have corrupt dispositions. When reprimanded by those two leaders, some brothers and sisters were brought to tears, living in negativity and weakness, and were afraid to see them. It was only then that I clearly saw that those two leaders simply could not use the truth to resolve problems. They just spoke empty words and doctrines. Working based on their own thinking and work experience, they couldn’t resolve our life entry issues at all. Before that, I had no discernment, and blindly looked up to and worshiped them, and even imitated their way of working. I was so blind!

After that, in doing my duty I focused on relying on God and looking to Him. For a while, there were some jobs I didn’t know how to handle, and when I encountered some difficulties and problems, I didn’t know how to resolve them. So I often prayed to God, and sought the truth principles and sought fellowship with my brothers and sisters. That way, some problems were resolved, and I grasped some truth principles, and made some headway in my work. Gradually, I gained more faith in doing my duty and made some progress, and felt fulfilled in my heart. I realized that to do my duty well and gain the truth, I can never stray from God and the guidance of God’s words.