73. After a Leader I Admired Was Dismissed
Li Cheng was a church leader mainly responsible for the work of clearing out and expelling people and who also oversaw my tasks. After interacting with him for over a year, I noticed that he had good caliber, showed a sense of burden in his duty, and could identify problems in the work and discern people’s states. Especially when organizing clearing out and expulsion materials, he could grasp the key incidents and find suitable words of God to define those being cleared out and expelled based on their behavior, which were things I couldn’t manage myself. Every time we gathered and fellowshipped on discerning various types of people, I always hoped that Li Cheng could be there. If he didn’t show up, I would feel disappointed, like my support pillar was gone. Over the past year or so, the churches that Li Cheng was in charge of all cleansed away some evil people and disbelievers, significantly purifying the churches. I firmly believed Li Cheng was someone who pursued and understood the truth, even thinking that only someone like him could be a leader. I admired him deeply and saw him as a role model in my journey of faith.
One day in May of 2023, I received a letter from the upper-level leader saying that Li Cheng had been dismissed. I was stunned and couldn’t believe the news, thinking, “Li Cheng is of good caliber, gifted, and produces results in his duty. How could someone like him be dismissed? Are the leaders too demanding? I must ask them why Li Cheng was dismissed when I see them.” Then I couldn’t help but compare myself with Li Cheng. Not only could he see through people’s states and find suitable words of God to resolve their difficulties, he also had results in his work. As for me, I lacked his gifts, I couldn’t suffer and pay a price as much as him, and I often struggled to resolve people’s states and frequently sought his help. Now that even someone like Li Cheng had been dismissed, I felt I was not far from being dismissed myself. This thought caused my spirit to collapse, and for the next few days, I had no energy in my duty and saw only darkness ahead. I realized that my state was wrong, and I wanted to seek the truth to resolve my problems. I knew that the church’s decisions to dismiss people were based on the principles, and that Li Cheng’s dismissal was certainly due to his violation of the principles in his duty. I recalled a passage of God’s words and looked it up to read. God says: “In every period and at every stage, some particular things happen in the church that are at odds with people’s notions. For example, some people get sick, leaders and workers get replaced, some people are exposed and eliminated, some face the test of life and death, some churches even have evil people and antichrists who cause disturbances, and so on. These things happen from time to time, but they are by no means accidental. All of these things are the result of God’s sovereignty and arrangements. A very peaceful period may suddenly be interrupted by several incidents or unusual events, which happen either around you, or to you personally, and the occurrence of these things breaks the normal order and normality of people’s lives. From the outside, these things don’t conform to people’s notions and imaginings, they are things that people don’t want to happen to them or to witness. So does the occurrence of these things benefit people? How should people deal with them, experience them, and understand them? Is this something any of you have thought about? (We should understand that this is the result of God’s sovereignty.) Is it just a matter of understanding that this is the result of God’s sovereignty? Have you learned any lessons from it? … People had no understanding of God to start with, and when they encounter some things that are at odds with their notions, they don’t seek the truth or find people to fellowship with, but only treat them based on their notions and imaginings, before finally coming to the conclusion that ‘whether these things are from God or not is still uncertain,’ and they start to have misgivings about God, and even doubt His words. As a result, their doubts, speculations, and wariness of God become more and more serious, and they lose the motivation to perform their duties. They are unwilling to suffer and make sacrifices, and they slack off, muddling through each day as it comes. Having experienced a few particular incidents, what little enthusiasm, resolve, and desire they had beforehand has deserted them and vanished, and all that remains are thoughts of how to make their own plans for the future and seek their way out. Such people are not in the minority. Because people don’t love the truth and don’t seek it, whenever anything befalls them they view it with their own eyes, without ever learning to accept it from God. They don’t seek the truth in God’s words in order to find the answers, and they don’t seek out people who understand the truth to fellowship with and resolve these things. Instead, they always use their own knowledge and experience of dealing with the world to analyze and judge the things that befall them. And what is the end result? They trap themselves in an awkward state with nowhere to go—this is the consequence of not seeking the truth” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (11)). From God’s words, I understood that when things happen in the church that do not align with people’s notions, those who don’t pursue the truth won’t accept things from God. Instead, they will complain to and misunderstand God based on their own notions and imaginings, and their states will deteriorate, affecting their duties. This was exactly how I had behaved. I had always thought highly of and looked up to Li Cheng. Seeing that he had good caliber, was gifted, was busy with his duty every day, and could always find the right words of God to resolve the brothers’ and sisters’ states, I thought he was someone who pursued the truth. Now, he had been dismissed, which didn’t align with my notions at all. I didn’t seek the truth on this matter, instead feeling wronged on behalf of Li Cheng and even thinking the leaders had been unfair to him. Wasn’t I being superficial in this matter? God’s intention was for me to learn lessons and understand aspects of the truth from such situations that do not align with human notions. However, upon hearing that Li Cheng had been dismissed, my first reaction was to complain that the leaders had handled this unfairly, thinking their requirements were too high and even wanting to grill the leaders about why they had treated Li Cheng in such a way. I also thought I was inferior to Li Cheng and might face dismissal too, which led me to live in negativity and misunderstanding, affecting my duty. From God’s words, I saw the danger of not seeking the truth when things happened to me. Recognizing this, my resistance diminished, and I was willing to seek the truth on this matter.
Later, when the leader fellowshipped and exposed Li Cheng’s behavior, I learned that Li Cheng was really arrogant and self-righteous and acted arbitrarily in his duty, calling the shots on everything without discussing matters with his co-workers. Despite repeated fellowship, he didn’t reverse course, causing disturbances to the church’s work. Only then was he dismissed and made to reflect. The leader also gave examples of Li Cheng’s specific behaviors. Recently, a church leader had delayed their duty due to family entanglements, and without seeking the principles, looking into the context, or consulting co-workers, Li Cheng arranged materials to clear this person out of the church. Fortunately, the upper-level leader intervened to prevent this. Another time, Li Cheng privately appointed a supervisor without consulting anyone. This supervisor had poor caliber and couldn’t arrange work, which affected the work of the church. When the leader pruned Li Cheng for acting arbitrarily, he refused to accept it. Later, other sisters also spoke about some of Li Cheng’s manifestations of acting arbitrarily in his duty. Hearing these facts, I was shocked, and I didn’t want to believe that Li Cheng was such an arrogant person. The leader then showed me a passage of God’s words: “Antichrists are unable to cooperate with anyone; they’re always wishing to set up solitary rule. The characteristic of this manifestation is ‘solo.’ Why use the word ‘solo’ to describe it? Because before they take action, they don’t come before God in prayer, nor do they seek the truth principles, much less do they find someone to fellowship with and say to them, ‘Is this an appropriate course? What do the work arrangements stipulate? How’s this sort of thing to be handled?’ They never discuss things or seek to reach a consensus with their co-workers and partners—they just consider things and scheme on their own, making their own plans and arrangements. With a mere cursory read-through of the work arrangements of God’s house, they think they’ve understood them, and then they blindly arrange the work—and by the time others know of this, the work has already been arranged. It’s impossible for anyone to hear their views or sentiments from their own mouth in advance, as they never communicate the thoughts and views they harbor to anyone. Someone may ask, ‘Don’t all leaders and workers have partners?’ They may nominally have someone as a partner, but when it comes time to work, they don’t anymore—they fly solo. Although leaders and workers have partners, and everyone who does any duty has a partner, antichrists believe that they have good caliber and are better than ordinary people, so ordinary people are not worthy of being their partner, and are all inferior to them. This is why antichrists like to call the shots and don’t like to discuss things with anyone else. They think doing so makes them look like an incompetent good-for-nothing. What kind of viewpoint is this? What kind of disposition is this? Is this an arrogant disposition? They think that to cooperate and discuss things with others, to make inquiries of them and seek from them, is undignified and demeaning, an affront to their self-respect. And so, in order to protect their self-respect, they don’t allow transparency in anything they do, nor do they tell others about it, much less discuss it with them. They think that to discuss with others is to show themselves as incompetent; that to always solicit other people’s opinions means they are stupid and incapable of thinking for themselves; that working with others in completing a task or sorting out some problem makes them appear useless. Isn’t this their arrogant and absurd mentality? Isn’t this their corrupt disposition? The arrogance and self-righteousness within them is too obvious; they have lost all normal human reason, and they aren’t quite right in the head. They always think they have abilities, can finish things by themselves, and have no need to cooperate with others. Since they have such corrupt dispositions, they are unable to achieve harmonious cooperation. They believe that to cooperate with others is to dilute and fragment their power, that when work is shared with others, their own power is lessened and they can’t decide everything for themselves, meaning they lack real power, which for them is a tremendous loss. And so, no matter what happens to them, if they believe they understand and that they know the appropriate way to handle it, they won’t discuss it with anyone else, and they will call all the shots. They will prefer to make mistakes over letting other people know, they will prefer to be wrong over sharing power with someone else, and they will prefer dismissal over letting other people intervene in their work. This is an antichrist” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). God’s words expose that antichrists act arbitrarily, making all the decisions themselves in order to maintain their power. They neither seek the truth principles nor discuss with others when matters befall them, and their natures are arrogant and unreasonable. Comparing this to Li Cheng’s behavior, as a church leader, he acted arbitrarily and kept power to himself in his duty, and when brothers and sisters pointed out his issues, not only did he not reflect on himself, he also believed that he understood the situation and could make decisions on his own. He didn’t seek the principles, sidelined his co-workers, and privately arranged materials to clear people out, while also appointing an unsuitable supervisor, disrupting and disturbing the church’s work, and ignoring what others said. Did these behaviors of Li Cheng not precisely align with God’s exposure of how antichrists do everything “solo”? He monopolized power to control the church and disrupted the church’s work, which is the exact behavior of antichrists that God exposed. He had already started walking the path of an antichrist. The leaders and workers pointed out his problems several times, but he never took them seriously. The upper-level leader dismissing him based on the principles was entirely appropriate!
I couldn’t help but reflect, thinking, “After interacting with Li Cheng for such a long time, how come I couldn’t discern him and even thought that he had the truth reality and admired him?” While seeking, I read this passage of God’s words: “There are some people who are often misled by those who outwardly seem spiritual, noble, lofty, and great. As for people who can speak eloquently of words and doctrines, and whose speech and actions seem worthy of admiration, those who are deceived by them have never looked at the essence of their actions, the principles behind their deeds, or what their goals are. Moreover, they have never looked at whether these people truly submit to God, nor have they ever determined whether or not these people genuinely fear God and shun evil. They have never discerned the humanity essence of these people. Rather, beginning with the first step of getting acquainted with them, they have, little by little, come to admire and venerate these people, and in the end, these people become their idols. Furthermore, in some people’s minds, the idols whom they worship—and who they believe can abandon their families and jobs, and who seem superficially able to pay the price—are the ones who are truly satisfying God and who can really attain good outcomes and good destinations. In their minds, these idols are the ones whom God praises” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. How to Know God’s Disposition and the Results His Work Shall Achieve). From God’s words, I realized that my worshiping of Li Cheng was mainly due to the results he produced while supervising the clearing out work and his strong working abilities. He also had some intelligence and gifts and could find relevant words of God to fellowship that targeted people’s states, so I thought he understood the truth and had reality. However, the facts showed that Li Cheng was completely unaware of the serious antichrist disposition he revealed. He was not willing to accept being pruned by the leaders, and it was clear that he did not accept the truth and usually just equipped himself with doctrines. He busied himself with his duty in order to produce results and get people to think highly of him, not pursuing the truth to resolve his own corrupt disposition at all, yet I worshiped him as an idol and even followed his example; how ignorant I was! I thought about how God approved of Peter because he focused on seeking the truth and satisfying God’s intentions in both his daily life and his duty. With every small matter, he focused on changing his old disposition. In contrast, I judged people based on their intelligence and gifts, the work they did and the suffering they endured on the surface. I saw that my view in judging people was in violation of God’s requirements. If it hadn’t been for Li Cheng’s dismissal, I wouldn’t have reflected on these issues and would have continued to follow his example. At this moment, I sincerely thanked God for orchestrating such people, events, and things. This was God saving me. Seeing that some brothers and sisters in the church still had not discerned Li Cheng, I fellowshipped with them on what it means to act arbitrarily, and also on how one should not judge people based solely on their appearance, but on whether they act according to God’s words and can practice the truth to uphold the church’s work. After listening, the brothers and sisters were able to discern Li Cheng somewhat.
Later, I continued to reflect: Why did I have such a strong reaction to Li Cheng’s dismissal and immediately feel despondent? I examined myself and found that I held the view that if someone like Li Cheng, who was better than me in every respect could be dismissed, then I was close to being dismissed as well. Afterward, I read a passage of God’s words: “In the course of doing their duties, antichrists are constantly calculating for their own prospects and destiny: how many years they have been doing their duties now, how much hardship they have endured, how much they have forsaken for God, how much of a price they have paid, how much of their energy they have expended, how many years of their youth they have given up, and whether they now have the entitlement to receive rewards and a crown; whether they have accumulated enough capital these few years doing their duties, whether they are a favored person in God’s eyes before Him, and whether they are a person who can receive rewards and a crown in God’s eyes. … They hold on firmly to their own ambitions and desires, regarding them as the truth, as the only goals in life, and as the most just undertaking. They do not know the truth that if a person’s disposition does not change then they will forever be an enemy of God, and do not know that what blessings God gives a person and how God treats a person is not based on their caliber, gifts, talents or capital, but on how much truth they practice and how much truth they gain, and whether they are a person who fears God and shuns evil. These are truths that antichrists will never understand. Antichrists will never see this, and this is where they are most foolish. From beginning to end, what is the attitude of antichrists toward their duty? They believe doing one’s duty is a transaction, that whoever expends the most in their duty, makes the biggest contribution to God’s house and endures the most years in God’s house will have a higher chance of being blessed and getting a crown in the end. This is the logic of antichrists” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). From God’s words, I saw that antichrists treat their duties as a transaction, using working more and the results in their duty as bargaining chips to exchange for blessings from God. This is the logic of antichrists. I also held this viewpoint. When I saw that someone who was more outstanding than me in every way had been dismissed, I thought that sooner or later, I would be dismissed too. I felt that my future prospects were uncertain, which led to my negativity. In reality, God’s standards for judging people are not based on how gifted they are or how much they appear to suffer or work, but rather on how much truth they practice and gain in their duties. Meanwhile, I judged people not according to God’s words but based on my own notions and imaginings, thinking that people with gifts and who worked hard must be in line with God’s intention and would gain His approval. Therefore, when I heard that Li Cheng was dismissed, I couldn’t accept it and even wanted to question the leaders about why he had been dismissed and seek justice for him. In reality, my coming to Li Cheng’s aid was really just a pretext for me to argue back. I was worried that I’d be the next one to be dismissed and afraid that I wouldn’t have a good future. Behind my desire to question the leaders was essentially a desire to question God, to complain that God was unfair and was too demanding of people. I hadn’t stood in the position of a created being and submitted to God’s work; rather, I had argued with and clamored against God. Only then did I realize how serious the nature of what I revealed was. I thought of Paul, who used the work he did as capital to clamor against God and demand a crown of righteousness from Him. In the end, he was punished and cursed by God. If I still did not repent, God would not approve of me no matter how much I suffered in my duty, and I would end up being punished just like Paul! Li Cheng’s dismissal served as a warning for me, making me recognize that although I believed in God, I was worshiping people and walking the wrong path. From the bottom of my heart, I felt that this was God loving and saving me.
After Li Cheng was dismissed, he reflected for a while, gained some understanding of his corrupt disposition, and was reassigned to a duty by the church. I now do my duty together with Li Cheng again, but I no longer worship him like I did before. Instead, I focus on discerning whether what he says is based on God’s words. If I have different opinions, I put them forward, I seek the truth principles for things I don’t understand, and I report issues I cannot see through to leaders. By practicing this way, I’m able to understand some principles and find a path forward. Through this experience, I have come to realize the importance of seeking the truth, and I’ve begun to focus on reflecting on the things I do that violate the principles when doing my duty. I also lead the brothers and sisters to seek the truth principles in their duties so that everyone stops focusing on external actions and concentrates on pursuing the truth and doing their duties according to the principles instead. This experience has corrected my mistaken view on things, and I am grateful for God’s salvation!