By Claude, Cameroon

In May 2018, I accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days. A year later, I was elected as a church leader, and after four years, I was elected as a church supervisor in Cameroon. I thought I was excellent, as if I were above other people. In my notions, I thought that God valued those with status more, and that these people were more valuable than others, and that they had a better chance of being saved. Over the last few years of being a leader, I had gained a lot, so I felt assured of my salvation. Because of this, I was more motivated in my duty. Even when others had already gone to sleep at night, I was still doing my duty. I thought that since I was paying a higher price and bearing more responsibilities than others, God would bless me more. As a leader, I always walked with my head held high, with a sense of superiority. I thought that so long as I remained a leader, my salvation would be assured. But things didn’t turn out as I had hoped.

Because the gospel work urgently needed people, I was sent out to spread the gospel. Everything went smoothly with this, and I got some pretty good results in my duty. Before long, I was promoted to group leader. I was so happy to be promoted. I was both a group leader and a church supervisor. I felt even closer to salvation, and that my destination was more secure. In early September 2022, I was transferred to the New Light Church to do my duty. There, they already had gospel group leaders and church supervisors. So, I was just an ordinary gospel spreader, and I lost my titles of gospel group leader and church supervisor. Confronted by such changes, I felt my status had dropped. I lost my sense of superiority and even felt I might have lost my chance at salvation. After that, I lost my motivation in my duty and just wanted to remain silent. When I had status, I had walked with my head held high, feeling very proud, but without status, I lost my enthusiasm. But I still held on to hope, thinking, “I’ve just arrived, so the brothers and sisters of the New Light Church don’t know me yet. As long as I keep working hard in my duty, with my caliber and work abilities, I will surely attract the attention of those around me, and sooner or later, I will be elected as a leader again. There is still hope for me to be saved!” Thinking of this, I didn’t become too negative and continued doing my duty.

At the end of December 2022, New Light Church needed to re-elect the church supervisors. Leading up to the election, I felt very confident and thought I would definitely be elected, because everyone knew I had been a leader for several years and had qualifications in this. But unexpectedly, when the votes were revealed, it turned out that I had only received two votes. I had lost the election. This was really difficult to bear. I felt completely worthless, like a bird with all its feathers plucked out, and I could hardly stand the others looking at me. During that time, I felt very negative and held misunderstandings toward God. I thought that having status would allow me to do my duty better and be recognized by God. Now that I had lost my status, I thought that this meant God would no longer save me and that I had lost my good destination. I didn’t want to attend group gatherings or reply to messages from my brothers and sisters. I just wanted to hide and shut myself away. I reluctantly attended gatherings and during these gatherings, I didn’t actively participate in fellowship. I didn’t want people to notice my presence because I no longer had any status. I was afraid that brothers and sisters would remember me as just a former leader who had been set aside. I didn’t even want to read God’s words or pray, and even when I did pray, I just went through the motions and didn’t know what to say to God. I was not active in my duty, and sometimes, I couldn’t calm my heart and I would look at news websites, political websites, and animal videos. After viewing these things, I didn’t feel as if I’d gained anything and I felt empty inside. I felt that my state was not right and that there might be God’s intention behind my failure in the election. So I prayed to God, “God, I can’t calm down to do my duties now, and I even want to distance myself from You. I don’t understand why I’m like this. Please enlighten and guide me to understand my state.”

I then told Brother Matthew about my state, and he had me read two passages of God’s words. Almighty God says: “In your seeking, you have too many individual notions, hopes, and futures. The current work is in order to prune your desire for status and your extravagant desires. Hopes, status, and notions are all classic representations of satanic disposition. The reason that these things exist in people’s hearts is entirely because Satan’s poison is always corroding people’s thoughts, and always people are unable to shake off these temptations of Satan. They are living in the midst of sin yet do not believe it to be sin, and still they think: ‘We believe in God, so He must bestow blessings on us and arrange everything for us appropriately. We believe in God, so we must be superior to others, and we must have more status and more of a future than anyone else. Since we believe in God, He must give us limitless blessings. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be called believing in God.’ … Are not your current thoughts and perspectives just like this? ‘Since I believe in God I should just be showered with blessings and it should be ensured that my status never slips and that it remains higher than that of nonbelievers.’ You have not been harboring that kind of perspective within you for just one or two years, but for many years. Your transactional way of thinking is overdeveloped. Although you have arrived at this step today, you still have not let go of status but struggle constantly to inquire about it, and observe it daily, with a deep fear that one day your status will be lost and your name will be ruined. People have never put aside their desire for ease” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Why Are You Unwilling to Be a Foil?). “You are now followers, and you have gained some understanding of this stage of work. However, you have still not put aside your desire for status. When your status is high you seek well, but when your status is low you no longer seek. The blessings of status are always on your mind. Why is it that the majority of people cannot remove themselves from negativity? Is the answer not invariably because of bleak prospects? … The more you seek in this way, the less you will reap. The greater a person’s desire for status, the more seriously they will have to be pruned and the more they will have to undergo great refinement. Such people are worthless! They must be pruned and judged adequately in order for them to thoroughly let go of these things. If you pursue this way until the end, you will reap nothing. Those who do not pursue life cannot be transformed, and those who do not thirst for the truth cannot gain the truth. You do not focus on pursuing personal transformation and entry, but focus instead on extravagant desires and things that constrain your love for God and prevent you from drawing close to Him. Can those things transform you? Can they bring you into the kingdom?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Why Are You Unwilling to Be a Foil?). After reading God’s words, I reflected on myself. Since joining the church, I had always been a leader, and I had believed that my having status guaranteed my salvation. As the years went by, I became more and more focused on status. The more I was promoted, the more I felt that God valued and recognized me, which enabled me to suffer and pay a price in my duty. I even thought that if God ended His work today, I should be able to be saved. During the election, I hoped to be elected, and I felt that my having been a leader before made me more qualified than others. But I lost the election and didn’t gain status. I felt like a failure and that I had lost my hope of being saved, so I lost my motivation to do my duty. I no longer read God’s words, ignored messages from brothers and sisters, was capricious in the way I attended gatherings, and I didn’t follow up on potential gospel recipients in a timely manner. I didn’t want to talk with or contact the brothers and sisters. I just wanted to be alone. I couldn’t quiet my heart before God and I lost my desire to pursue the truth. I even watched secular movies. My heart grew darker and darker, and I felt I had lost the work of the Holy Spirit. God says: “You do not focus on pursuing personal transformation and entry, but focus instead on extravagant desires and things that constrain your love for God and prevent you from drawing close to Him. Can those things transform you? Can they bring you into the kingdom?” Pursuing status cannot grant me the truth or a good destination, and having status cannot grant me entry into God’s kingdom. Because the pursuit of status is a corrupt disposition and comes from Satan, it obstructs my pursuit of the truth and even leads me to become distant from God and into opposing Him. In the end, this could only lead to my destruction. God’s words made me see that there was God’s intention in this election loss. God was using this loss to prune my desire for status and to make me relinquish my self-indulgent desire for status and reflect on myself. Understanding God’s heartfelt intention, I prayed to God, “God, I wish to repent. Please guide me to be able to know myself.”

Afterward, I read some of God’s words and some experiential testimony articles. I read God’s words: “Some people believe that if they have believed in God for a long time, then they are likely to be saved. Some people think that if they understand a lot of spiritual doctrines, then they are likely to be saved, or some think that leaders and workers will certainly be saved. These are all human notions and imaginings. The key thing is that people must understand what salvation means. To be saved primarily means to be freed from sin, freed from Satan’s influence, and genuinely turn to God and submit to God. What must you possess to be free from sin and from Satan’s influence? The truth. If people hope to obtain the truth, they must be equipped with many of God’s words, they must be able to experience and practice them, so that they may understand the truth and enter into reality. Only then can they be saved. Whether or not one can be saved has nothing to do with how long they have believed in God, how much knowledge they have, whether they possess gifts or strengths, or how much they suffer. The only thing that has a direct relationship to salvation is whether or not a person can obtain the truth. So today, how many truths have you genuinely understood? And how many of God’s words have become your life? Of all of God’s requirements, into which have you achieved entry? During your years of belief in God, how much have you entered into the reality of God’s word? If you don’t know, or if you have not achieved entry into the reality of any of God’s words, then frankly, you have no hope of salvation. You cannot possibly be saved. It doesn’t matter if you possess a high degree of knowledge, or if you have believed in God for a long time, have a good appearance, can speak well, and have been a leader or worker for several years. If you don’t pursue the truth and do not properly practice and experience God’s words, and you lack real experiential testimony, then there is no hope for you to be saved” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Treasuring God’s Words Is the Foundation of Belief in God). “I decide the destination of each person not on the basis of age, seniority, amount of suffering, and least of all, the degree to which they invite pity, but according to whether they possess the truth. There is no other choice but this. You must realize that all those who do not follow the will of God shall also be punished. This is an immutable fact. Therefore, all those who are punished are so punished for the righteousness of God and as retribution for their numerous evil acts” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Prepare Sufficient Good Deeds for Your Destination). From God’s words, I understood that God treats everyone fairly, and that God determines people’s outcomes based on whether they possess the truth. People gain God’s approval and are saved, not because they are a leader or hold a certain position, but because they pursue and ultimately gain the truth. I thought that because I had been a leader for several years and held status, I would be approved by God, that I was favored by God and privileged, that I already held a place in God’s kingdom, and that I could be saved and enter His kingdom. This was an incorrect viewpoint of mine. In reality, holding a position in the church is not a condition for salvation, nor does having status indicate one is more valuable than others, or more likely to gain God’s recognition. In God’s house, there is no distinction of status. Everyone is equal before God. Regardless of what duty one performs, so long as one earnestly pursues the truth, cast off their corrupt dispositions, and becomes submissive to God, they can gain God’s salvation. Whether one is a group leader or a church leader, this is just an opportunity granted by God to gain the truth. It allows us to experience God’s work through the performance of our duties, to understand more truths, and to grow faster. However, it does not mean that being a group leader or a church leader guarantees salvation. Reflecting on my years as a leader, enduring hardships and paying a price, I attended every gathering regardless of the time, sometimes working late into the night while others slept, persevering to complete the work as quickly as possible, and so I thought I was doing my duties well and that I loved God. But when I lost the election and my status, my rebelliousness and misunderstandings of God were revealed. I thought I was beyond salvation, and so I gave up on pursuing the truth, became negative and slacked off in my duties, didn’t want to read God’s words, and even watched secular movies. I saw that I did not love the truth, and that my proactiveness in my duty was to gain a good destination, not the truth, that’s why I hadn’t gained much truth in my five years of believing in God. This election loss revealed my corruption, making me realize that everything I had done before had been for the sake of status and a good destination, and I was trying to make a transaction with God. The truth was, I didn’t love God as I thought I did, I had been rebelling against God, not listening to His words, and because of my loss of status, I had even distanced myself from God, not wanting to do my duties. I recalled what the Lord Jesus said: “Not every one that said to Me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that follows the will of My Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 7:21). God wants those who pursue the truth and follow His way. Such people are qualified to be saved and enter the kingdom of heaven. In the past, I had always been busy, attending every gathering, giving everyone the impression that I was diligent and responsible in my duties, but this was all deceit. I had been doing my duties with the intention of gaining blessings, which was not following God’s will, and would not satisfy Him nor gain His approval. With tears in my eyes, I prayed to God, “God, I want to change and turn back to You, please prune me and judge me, so that I can let go of my self-indulgent thoughts and demands, no matter what position You place me in, even if people view it as the very lowest position, I will accept it, I am willing to submit to all of Your arrangements.”

One day, I read God’s words: “As a created being, man should seek to fulfill the duty of a created being, and seek to love God without making other choices, for God is worthy of man’s love. Those who seek to love God should not seek any personal benefits or seek that which they personally long for; this is the most correct means of pursuit. If what you seek is the truth, if what you put into practice is the truth, and if what you attain is a change in your disposition, then the path that you tread is the right one. If what you seek is the blessings of the flesh, and what you put into practice is the truth of your own notions, and if there is no change in your disposition, and you are not at all submissive to God in the flesh, and you still live in vagueness, then what you seek will surely take you to hell, for the path that you walk is the path of failure. Whether you will be made perfect or eliminated depends on your own pursuit, which is also to say that success or failure depends on the path that man walks” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Success or Failure Depends on the Path That Man Walks). God’s words gave me a path of practice. As a created being, I must pursue the truth according to God’s intention and do my duty well, without seeking any reward. In the past, I had thought that having status would help me gain salvation, and that earning and holding on to the status of leader would ensure a good outcome for me, so I wholeheartedly pursued status and reputation instead of seeking the truth, which resulted in my corrupt disposition remaining unchanged despite my believing in God for many years. If I didn’t amend my pursuit, I would certainly be eliminated by God. I also understood, that in the church, there are various duties, and that everyone does their duties according to their own circumstances and the needs of the work, and no matter what kind of duty it is, it is something we should do, it is all for the purpose of enabling people to practice the truth and achieve a change in disposition. This is like our body, which is made up of many organs. Each organ has its function, and no one organ is more useful than any other. All functions are necessary for the survival of the body, and no single organ can be missing. Duties are not divided into high-level and low-level. Doing a special job or being a leader doesn’t make one higher than others, superior to others, or more likely to be saved, and to think this way is incorrect. Even as a leader, without practicing the truth, I cannot obtain the truth or be saved. After understanding this, I regretted always striving for status, and I resolved to do my duty well. I was no longer negative and stopped watching secular movies, I attended gatherings regularly and often fellowshipped on my self-knowledge, and I changed my attitude toward my duty, becoming proactive in spreading the gospel. I also shared God’s words with brothers and sisters, helping them resolve their abnormal states, and the effectiveness of my duty improved.

At the end of June 2023, another church was established and needed to elect leaders and deacons. I thought, “I have believed in God for a long time and have been a church leader before, so I’m most likely to be elected.” But in the end, I was only elected as a gospel deacon. My first thought was that my hope of being saved had diminished, especially when I saw a sister who had believed in God for several years less than I had being elected as a church leader, I felt very upset. I also thought that in the future, more newcomers would join the church, that they would surpass me, and that over time I would have no place. Thinking of these things, I felt very upset and lost the motivation to do my duty. I prayed to God, “God, please keep my heart from being disturbed by these states. I am willing to let go of my pursuit of prospects and status, submit to all Your arrangements, and to do my duty only to satisfy You. If I still cling to the pursuit of status, I hope You will discipline me.” I read God’s words: “Ultimately, whether people can attain salvation is not dependent on what duty they do, but on whether they can understand and gain the truth, and on whether they can, in the end, entirely submit to God, put themselves at the mercy of His arrangement, give no consideration to their future and destiny, and become a qualified created being. God is righteous and holy, and these are the standards He uses to measure all mankind. These standards are immutable, and you must remember this. Inscribe these standards in your mind, and at any time, do not think of finding some other path to pursue some unreal thing. The requirements and standards God has for all who want to attain salvation are forever unchanging. They remain the same no matter who you are” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God is righteous and holy, and God determines each person’s destination based on whether they have gained the truth. I should also pursue according to God’s requirements, let go of my desire for pursuing status and destination, and wholeheartedly fulfill my duties and pursue the truth. This aligns with God’s intention. My work ability is somewhat lacking, and my being elected as a gospel deacon now is another opportunity for practice given by God. I must cherish this opportunity and devote myself wholeheartedly to my duties, pursue and gain the truth, resolve my corrupt disposition, and fulfill my duties to satisfy God’s heart. This is what is most important. Afterward, I devoted myself to my duties, and the changes I experienced were all due to the guidance of God’s words. Thanks be to God’s salvation!