By Liu Qiang, China

I was born into an ordinary farming family, and growing up, I always saw my mother doing the cooking and cleaning, and I never saw my father cook or do any housework. My grandfather was the same. Sometimes when my grandmother was out for the day, my grandfather would rather go hungry than cook, as he believed that cooking was a woman’s job. I saw that in most families, “men worked outside the home and women handled domestic work”: The women did the cooking at home, while the men were busy working outside. After I got married, my wife naturally took on all the household chores. Sometimes she’d ask me to do some housework, but I was always unwilling and reluctant to do so. I always thought cooking and doing housework were tasks for women.

In the summer of 2020, the leader told me that a team urgently needed hosts, and asked if I was willing to go and do hosting. I didn’t say anything, but I thought to myself, “I’ve never done hosting duty, and I can’t even cook.” But considering the urgent need for people, I still agreed. During my time doing my hosting duty, I spent every day around the kitchen, washing and cleaning, thinking to myself, “This is a duty for sisters; why am I being made to do it? It’s also embarrassing for a grown man to often go to the market to buy vegetables and sometimes even have to haggle with the greengrocers!” Every time I went to the market to buy vegetables, I felt worried, as I was afraid that others would look down on me. I’d always just hurry in and hurry out, not wanting to stay too long. Sometimes a few brothers would comment that the vegetables were too salty or too bland, and I’d feel embarrassed and inwardly argue, “At home, my wife’s always done the housework and cooking, not me! Besides, I’m a man, and these are women’s chores, so it’s normal that I’m not good at them. Why can’t you see things from my point of view?” I couldn’t help but feel a little bitter, wondering when this duty would ever end. I often saw the brothers chatting and laughing about work, but I just couldn’t be happy. It felt like I was carrying a heavy stone on my back, and I just longed for the day when I wouldn’t have to do this duty anymore. Those days, I didn’t put much effort into the food I cooked, and I just made noodles every morning. I saw that they weren’t eating much, but I’d never ask if they were used to the food. At that time, there was a lot of cabbage, so I’d just boil it, and even though the brothers ate very little, I didn’t care. I just thought, “No matter how you cook it, cabbage isn’t going to taste that great.” Later, the brothers were reassigned in their duties and they moved out, but the supervisor asked me to continue doing hosting duty. I just couldn’t understand, “Why is it that I, a grown man, keep getting asked to do hosting duty? Cooking, washing, and cleaning are things that sisters usually do. Will others wonder ‘Why’s a brother doing this duty?’ How am I going to live this down?” Thinking about this made me feel inferior. During that period of time, I was in a bad state, and I felt that I’d really lost face. If I dropped the hosting duty, I felt I’d be acting unreasonably, but if I carried on with it, I didn’t know how I’d see it through. I appeared to be doing my duty, but inside I felt stifled, and I wasn’t proactive or attentive in anything I did. I’d see that the cleaning needed to be done, but I wouldn’t do it, and several times, it got to the point where others couldn’t stand it and helped clean. I also didn’t dry the food that the church sent in time, and as a result, the food spoiled and had to be thrown away. After the leader found out about this, he said to me, “The food’s all gone moldy. If you’d been mindful, you would have dried it, made sure the perishable food had been eaten on time, and it wouldn’t have gone to waste. Having such problems occur, you need to reflect on your attitude toward your duty.” When I heard the leader say this, I felt a bit guilty. It was indeed my negligence that caused the food to spoil, but then I started to make excuses for myself, “Back home, it was always my mom and wife who dried the food, and I was never involved. Being asked to do these things is so embarrassing!” I always felt like I was being humiliated, and I didn’t want to put up with this situation, so I just hoped that the leader would arrange for me to do other duties. I became so negative that I didn’t know what to say when praying to God, and when I read God’s words, I didn’t find any light. I was exhausted every day, and I felt suffocated.

During a gathering, a sister noticed I was in a bad state and reminded me to reflect on myself and learn my lessons. One day, I read a passage of God’s words: “What is a duty? The commission that God entrusts to man is the duty that man should perform. Whatever He entrusts to you is the duty you should perform. … One must find and pinpoint their own role and position—that is what a person with reason does. Then they should perform their duty well with a firmly grounded attitude to repay God’s love and satisfy Him. If one has this attitude while performing their duty, their heart will be steady and at peace, they will be able to accept the truth in their duty, and they will gradually come to perform their duty in accordance with God’s requirements. They will be able to cast off their corrupt dispositions, submit to all of God’s arrangements, and perform their duty adequately. This is the way to gain God’s approval. If you can truly expend yourself for God and perform your duty with the correct mindset, a mindset of loving and satisfying Him, you will be led and guided by the work of the Holy Spirit, you will be willing to practice the truth and act in accordance with the principles while performing your duty, and you will become a person who fears God and shuns evil. In this way, you will fully live out true human likeness. People’s lives gradually grow as they perform their duties. Those who do not perform duties cannot obtain the truth and the life, no matter how many years they believe, because they lack God’s blessing. God only blesses those who truly expend themselves for Him and perform their duties to the best of their ability. Whatever duty you perform, whatever you can do, consider it your responsibility and your duty, accept it and do it well. How do you do it well? By doing it exactly as God demands—with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your strength. You should contemplate these words and consider how you can perform your duty with all your heart” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). From God’s words, I saw that no matter what commission people are given, they must treat it as their responsibility and duty, and they should do it with all their heart and all their mind. Only when their mindset is focused on satisfying God in their duties can they meet with God’s approval. But I thought that hosting duty was for sisters, and that since I was a brother, I shouldn’t be doing this duty. I felt that being asked to do hosting duty meant I was being belittled and looked down on. Because of such a wrong perspective, I lacked any sense of earnestness or responsibility toward my duty, and when hosting the brothers, I always just made noodles or boiled cabbage. I saw the brothers didn’t like it, but I didn’t think to change the recipes to make sure the brothers ate well and were full. I didn’t do the cleaning in time, and I didn’t handle the food the church sent in time, resulting in it going bad. In what way was I doing my duty with all my heart and all my strength? I was clearly being negligent and perfunctory! I didn’t cherish the opportunity the church gave me to do my duty, and I kept complaining, feeling resistant, and just going through the motions. This truly grieved and disappointed God! If I didn’t change, I would eventually lose my chance to do my duties. Realizing this, I made a resolution that from then on, I would be willing to put God’s words into practice and do my hosting duty in earnest. So I began learning how to cook, I was more active in cleaning, and I tried my best to handle everything involved in my hosting duty well.

Later, I read some of God’s words, and gained some understanding of the root cause of my constant resistance toward hosting. Almighty God says: “If you were given a duty to perform and were originally incapable of submitting, to what extent are you able to submit now? For example, you are a brother, and if you were asked to make meals and wash the dishes for the other brothers and sisters every day, would you submit? (I think so.) Perhaps you could in the short term, but if you are asked to do this duty long term would you submit? (I could submit on occasion, but as time went on I might not be able to.) This means that you have not submitted. What is causing people to not submit? (It’s because people have traditional notions in their hearts. They think men should work outside the home, and women should handle domestic work, that cooking is a woman’s job and a man loses face by cooking. That’s why it’s not easy to submit.) That’s right. There is sexual discrimination when it comes to the division of labor. Men think, ‘We men should be out there making a living. Things like cooking and washing should be done by women. We shouldn’t be made to do it.’ But now these are special circumstances, and you are being asked to do it, so what do you do? What hang-ups must you get over before you can submit? This is the crux of the issue. You must get over your sexual discrimination. There is no work that must be done by men, and no work that must be done by women. Do not divide up labor this way. The duty people perform should not be determined according to their sex. You can divide labor this way in your own home and daily life, but now this has to do with your duty, so how should you interpret it? You should receive this duty from God and accept it, and change the incorrect views you have inside. You should say, ‘It is true that I am a man, but I am a member of the church and a created being in God’s eyes. I will do whatever the church assigns me to do; things are not divided according to sex.’ First, you should let go of your incorrect views, then accept your duty. Is accepting your duty true submission? (No.) In the days that follow, if someone says your food is too salty, or does not have enough flavor, or says you didn’t make something well and they do not want to eat it, or tells you to make something new, will you be able to accept it? At that point, you will feel uncomfortable, and you will think, ‘I am a self-respecting man, and I’ve already stooped to making meals for all these brothers and sisters, yet they still point out all these problems. I have no pride left at all.’ At this point, you don’t want to submit, do you? (No.) This is a difficulty. Whenever you cannot submit, it is caused by a corrupt disposition revealing itself and causing trouble, and making you unable to practice the truth and submit to God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only in the Practice of the Truth Is There Life Entry). “Men have these chauvinistic thoughts, and they look down upon certain tasks like taking care of children, tidying up the house, doing the washing, and cleaning. Some have strong chauvinistic tendencies, and disdain these chores, are unwilling to do them, or if they do them, they do so begrudgingly, fearing that others may think less of them. They think, ‘If I’m always doing these chores, won’t I become effeminate?’ What thought and viewpoint is this governed by? Isn’t there a problem with their thought? (Yes, there is.) Their thought is problematic. Look at certain regions where men are always wearing aprons and cooking. When the woman returns home from work, the man serves her food, saying, ‘Here, have a bite to eat. It’s really tasty; I made all your favorites today.’ The woman rightfully eats the ready-made meal, and the man rightfully prepares it, never feeling like a housewife. Once he steps outside and removes his apron, isn’t he still a man? In certain regions where chauvinism is particularly strong, they are undeniably spoiled by family conditioning and influence. Has this conditioning saved them or harmed them? (It has harmed them.) It has been detrimental to them. … The thoughts and viewpoints parents instill touch on the most basic and simplest rules for living, as well as certain incorrect views about people. In summary, all these constitute family conditioning of people’s thoughts. Regardless of how much impact they have on a person’s life over the course of their faith in God and existence, or how much trouble and inconvenience they bring, intrinsically they have a certain relation to the ideological education of parents” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (14)). After reading God’s words, I understood that my feeling repressed and pained at doing hosting duty, and my lack of submission were mainly caused by the fallacious view of “Men should work outside the home and women should handle domestic work.” We used to work the fields back home, and my mother and wife, after working outside, would come home and still have to do laundry, cook, and feed the animals. They were so busy that they could hardly keep up. I saw this but never helped. I thought that washing clothes, cooking, and doing housework were all women’s work, and that men only needed to earn money to support the family and do outdoor work. I thought that if the men were doing housework, they were seen as useless and looked down upon. Living with this view, I rarely shared in the household chores and lacked care and concern for my family. After finding God, when I was asked to do hosting duty, I thought that cleaning, buying vegetables, and cooking were duties for sisters, and that brothers shouldn’t be made to do these tasks. Being influenced by this chauvinistic mindset, I felt resistant and didn’t apply myself to my duty. Going to the market to buy vegetables, bargaining with the greengrocers, and buying inexpensive, good-quality vegetables is a completely normal thing to do. But I always felt it was embarrassing, and I was afraid of being looked down upon. When cooking, I would just cook however I felt like cooking, without considering at all whether the brothers were accustomed to it. Because I was resistant toward my hosting duty, I didn’t even clean when it was necessary. I was truly so devoid of humanity and reason! This chauvinistic mindset had completely twisted my thoughts. I thought about how duties come from God, about how they have no distinctions of status, gender, or age, and that I should accept it from God, treat it as a responsibility to cherish and love, and devote myself loyally to my duty and satisfy God. But I lived according to the mindset of “Men should work outside the home and women should handle domestic work.” I only considered my own feelings, and never what my responsibility and duty really were. I had no submission at all. Was I not opposing God in this? Realizing this, I felt deeply regretful and guilty, and so I came before God and prayed, “God, I’ve been controlled by the mindset of ‘Men should work outside the home and women should handle domestic work,’ without any submission in doing my hosting duty, and I’ve been opposing You constantly. I’ve been so unreasonable! God, I was wrong, but I am willing to repent to You.”

Later, I read another passage of God’s words, and I came to understand God’s standard for measuring people. Almighty God says: “God does not have anything specific to say regarding mankind’s genders, because both men and women are God’s creations and derive from God. To use a phrase spoken by humankind, ‘Both the palm and the back of the hand are made of flesh’—God has no particular bias toward men or women, nor does He make distinct demands of one or the other gender, they are both the same. Therefore, God uses the same few standards to judge you regardless of whether you are male or female—He will look at what kind of humanity essence you have, what path you walk, what your attitude is toward the truth, whether you love the truth, whether you have a God-fearing heart, and whether you can submit to Him. When choosing someone and cultivating them to do a certain duty or carry out a certain responsibility, God does not look at whether they are a man or a woman. God promotes and uses people, regardless of whether they are male or female, by looking at whether they have conscience and reason, whether they have acceptable caliber, whether they accept the truth and what path they walk on. Of course, when saving and perfecting mankind, God does not pause to consider their gender. If you are a woman, God does not consider whether you are virtuous, kind, gentle, or moral, or whether you are well-behaved, and He does not evaluate men based upon their virility and masculinity—these are not the standards by which God evaluates men and women” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (7)). From God’s words, I saw that God’s disposition is righteous, and He doesn’t treat people differently based on their gender. When God created Adam and Eve, He held no gender discrimination toward them, and God’s love and care for them were the same, with no favoritism. The words God speaks in the last days to save humanity are directed at all people, regardless of nationality, race, or gender. In my experience, I also saw that God’s house doesn’t consider gender when promoting and using people, but rather makes considerations based on whether a person loves the truth and has conscience and reason, and by looking at the path they walk. There is no rule that says leaders and workers must be brothers, and that hosting duty must be done by sisters. For example, I knew a brother who was also doing hosting duty, and whenever he had time, he’d focus on reading God’s words. During gatherings, he’d open up in fellowship about his state and difficulties, and when facing difficulties, he’d seek the truth and focus on practicing according to the truth principles. This brother did his duty without being constrained by gender. I then realized that living by this absurd viewpoint of chauvinism was wrong and extreme, and that it completely goes against God’s words. After understanding these truths, I gained some discernment of this chauvinistic mentality and was willing to reject it from my heart. I also became able to fully accept my hosting duty.

Later, I read more of God’s words, and I became clearer on how to do this hosting duty well. God says: “The principles you must understand and the truths you must put into practice are the same regardless of what duty you are performing. Whether you are asked to be a leader or a worker, or whether you are cooking up dishes as a host, or whether you are asked to take care of some external affairs or do some physical labor, the truth principles that should be observed in performing these different duties are the same, in that they must be based in the truth and in God’s words. What then is the biggest and the chief among these principles? It is to devote one’s heart, mind, and effort to performing one’s duty well, and to perform it to the required standard. … For instance, if you are in charge of making food for your brothers and sisters, that is your duty. How should you treat this task? (I should seek the truth principles.) How do you seek the truth principles? This touches upon the reality and the truth. You must think about how to put the truth into practice, how to perform this duty well, and which aspects of the truth this duty involves. Step one is that you must first of all know, ‘I am not cooking for myself. This is my duty that I am doing.’ The aspect involved here is vision. What about step two? (I must think about how to cook the meal well.) What is the criterion for cooking well? (I must seek out God’s requirements.) That’s right. Only God’s requirements are the truth, the standard, and the principle. Cooking according to God’s requirements is one aspect of the truth. You must first of all consider this aspect of the truth, and then contemplate, ‘God has given me this duty to perform. What is the standard required by God?’ This foundation is a requisite. How should you cook so as to meet God’s standard, then? The food you cook should be healthy, tasty, clean, and not harmful to the body—these are the details involved. As long as you cook according to this principle, the food you cook shall be made according to God’s requirements. Why do I say this? Because you sought the principles of this duty and did not exceed the scope delineated by God. This is the right way to cook. You have done your duty well, and you have done it satisfactorily” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Seeking the Truth Principles Can One Perform One’s Duty Well).

From God’s words, I saw that no matter what duty we do, we must practice according to the truth principles, and we should devote our heart and effort to doing it well according to God’s words. For example, in doing my hosting duty, if the food isn’t prepared well, causing others to not want to eat it or leading to side effects on their health, then I haven’t done my duty well. When it comes to food, I should dry what needs to be dried, and serve what should be eaten quickly to avoid wasting. Moreover, in China, the country that opposes God the most severely, we must always remain vigilant in our hosting duty, pay attention to our surroundings, and ensure the safety of our brothers and sisters. After understanding this, when I went to the market to buy vegetables again, I thought about how to purchase good quality and affordable produce, and I didn’t care about what others thought. I made it a principle to prepare food that was tasty, nutritious, and healthy, and for dishes I didn’t know how to make, I’d ask my brothers and sisters or learn from video tutorials. After a while, the state of both the cooking and cleaning in the house improved greatly. Later, I cooperated with a brother to repair electronics, and I would take the initiative to do the cooking and household chores. Sometimes, when brothers and sisters came to our house, they couldn’t help but praise us, saying things like, “Your house is so clean!” and “This food looks so appetizing.” After hearing these things, I thanked God from the bottom of my heart.

I came to understand that duties are God’s commission to humanity, and our responsibility and obligation that we should fulfill, regardless of gender, and that we should accept them unconditionally and do our best to fulfill them. I also came to understand that it doesn’t matter which duty we do, and that the important thing is for us to seek the truth in our duties and resolve our corrupt dispositions. Seeking to practice according to the truth principles is the most important. These changes and gains of mine were all the result of God’s words guiding me. Thank God!