By Li Xinchen, China

I started attending gatherings with my grandparents when I was in elementary school, but when I went on to middle school, my studies intensified, so I couldn’t attend gatherings or read God’s words, and my heart drifted further and further away from God. It wasn’t until November 2011 that I finally resumed my church life and joined my brothers and sisters in eating and drinking God’s words and singing hymns in praise of God. This made me feel really fulfilled. In December 2012, just as I was in university, the CCP was using mainstream media and online platforms to fabricate and spread various baseless rumors, condemning and discrediting The Church of Almighty God. My roommates saw this negative propaganda, and they reported my faith to our teacher. The teacher then informed my parents, and my parents found out about my faith.

On the evening of December 20, 2012, I had just finished my duties and returned to school. Shortly after I got to the dormitory, two teachers came to question me. They asked me where I’d been and what I’d been doing over the last few days, and they also asked if I was preaching the gospel at school. Then my mom and uncle came to my dormitory and scolded me, saying that they’d take me home. My cousin had been confined at home for months by my uncle for her faith in God, and I was afraid my parents would do the same to me. So I kept praying to God in my heart, asking Him to open up a way out for me. I said to my mom, “I want to stay in school, not go home.” Seeing my determination, my mom allowed me to stay at school. However, behind my back, she told my teachers to keep a close watch on me. The next day, the teachers and the department head talked to me one after another. They said the school was now strictly managing issues related to religious beliefs, and they told me to stay in the dormitory for a few days and not go anywhere. The school security guards even had my photo and would report me if they saw me going out of the school gate. Just because of my faith in God, my teachers and classmates began to view me strangely and treated me like a weirdo. I feel deeply humiliated and found it really difficult to endure all this. I just believed in God and I wasn’t doing anything bad, so why were they treating me as if I was? I even thought, “If I didn’t preach the gospel, would my teachers and classmates stop misunderstanding me and looking at me weirdly?” I felt so weak, so I called my older sister at another university to vent. My sister said her roommates had also reported her, and that her teacher had even berated her in front of the entire class. After hearing her say this, I realized that many brothers and sisters have been persecuted as a result of the CCP’s baseless rumors and defamation of The Church of Almighty God. Thinking about how the CCP government is spreading baseless rumors, condemning and discrediting The Church of Almighty God, I realized that their direct target is God and that God has endured immense and countless humiliation and suffering. In this situation, I only thought about my own suffering, but I never considered how God’s heart feels in the face of this slander and these attacks. I thought of the hymn of God’s words “God Suffers Great Torment for Man’s Salvation”: “This time, God has become flesh to perform the work that He has not yet completed, to lay judgment upon this age and bring it to an end, to save man from the sea of suffering, to thoroughly conquer humanity, and to change people’s life dispositions. Many are the sleepless nights that God has endured to free man from suffering and from the dark forces that are as black as night, and for the sake of the work of mankind. He has descended from the highest to the lowest of places to live in this human hell and pass His days with man. God has never complained of the shabbiness amongst them, nor has He ever asked too much of man; rather, God has endured the greatest shame while carrying out His work. So that all of humanity may soon enjoy rest, God has endured humiliation and suffered injustice to come to earth, and personally entered into the tiger’s den to save mankind” (from The Word Appears in the Flesh). God is holy, and He came from heaven to earth to save mankind, yet He has been misunderstood and treated as an enemy, and He has been rejected and condemned by corrupt humanity. Despite enduring immense humiliation and pain, He has continued to speak and work to save us. But I didn’t understand God’s intention. I complained and became negative at the slightest suffering. When facing a bit of exclusion and strange looks from classmates and teachers, I felt wronged and pained, and I even regretted preaching the gospel. My stature was truly small! Thinking of this, I no longer felt my suffering was that great, and I felt that the persecution I was facing was the suffering that I should bear for believing in God.

Later, the teachers had my roommates monitor me and watch what I was up to, leaving me no other option but to hide under the covers and use my MP4 player to read God’s words and listen to hymns. During those days, my teachers would also talk to me to see if I’d been preaching the gospel. Some of the classmates who’d been close to me in the past began to distance themselves. Some rebuked me, saying that I shouldn’t believe in God, and some of them mocked me. Relatives also called me to try and persuade me not to believe in God. Two of my cousins even sent me some baseless rumors and devilish remarks slandering and condemning The Church of Almighty God. In those days, whenever I heard the phone ring, my heart would race, as I was afraid it was a family member calling to scold me. Over those few days, it seemed like each day lasted a year, and I felt isolated and helpless. I really missed my brothers and sisters and wanted to share my suffering with them. But due to the surveillance of my teachers and classmates, I couldn’t go out to gatherings. I felt very weak inside and didn’t know how to experience this situation. I was really worried at that time: My parents had always strongly opposed the faith of my older sister and me, and I wasn’t sure what they would do to me this time. Would they treat me the way my uncle treated my cousin, and lock me up at home? Faced with all this criticism and persecution, would I be able to stand firm? My parents had said before that if they found out I believed in God, they would disown me. Up to this point, my dad still hadn’t called me. Did this mean he really didn’t want me anymore? Facing all these uncertainties, I felt utterly helpless. All I could do was entrust my difficulties to God and look to Him, asking for His guidance. In my confusion and helplessness, I came across a passage of God’s words: “For everyone who aspires to love God, there are no unobtainable truths and no justice for which they cannot stand firm” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). God’s words gave me faith. I was walking the right path in life by believing in God, so even if everyone misunderstood me, mocked me, and rejected me, as long as I held firm in my faith, these difficulties wouldn’t overwhelm me. I always feared being rejected and scolded by my family, and I also feared the ridicule and strange looks from classmates and teachers, and I always felt like I couldn’t keep going. This was because I was too cowardly and lacked the resolve to suffer. I remembered the title of a chapter of God’s words I read a few days before, “Escape From the Influence of Darkness, and You Will Be Gained by God.” God had arranged this situation in the hope that I could break through Satan’s dark influence. This whole time, because my parents opposed my belief in God, I’d been heavily constrained by them, and so long as my parents were around me, I didn’t dare to eat or drink God’s words, and I didn’t dare to go out to gatherings or to do my duties. I couldn’t continue to yield to their coercion. Only by breaking through this dark influence and escaping their constraint could I properly believe in God and do my duties. So, I prayed to God, “God, I really want to break through the dark influence of my family, but I lack the courage. Please grant me faith and strength, so that I can break free from Satan’s influence and do the duties of a created being well.” Through prayer, I gained some faith, and I also felt that God was always with me. In my pain and helplessness, it was God’s words that comforted, encouraged me, and gave me faith. I resolved to myself, “No matter how my family and teachers treat me, I will persist in my faith and in my duties.” So I called my sister, and we agreed to devote ourselves to our duties full-time. I also prayed to God, asking Him to open up a way for me to break free from the surveillance of my teachers and classmates.

During that time, I thought of the hymn of God’s words “Only by Seeking to Understand the Truth in All Things Can People Be Perfected by God”: “If you wish to be perfected by God, you must learn how to experience in all matters, and be able to gain enlightenment in everything that happens to you. Whether it be good or bad, it should bring you benefit, and should not make you negative. Regardless, you should be able to consider things while standing on the side of God, and not analyze or study them from the perspective of man. If you experience thus, then your heart will be filled with the burdens of your life; you will live constantly in the light of God’s countenance, not readily deviating in your practice. Such people have a bright future ahead of them” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Promises to Those Who Are Perfected). Reflecting on God’s words, I came to understand God’s intention a little more. During this time, because of my faith in God, I faced exclusion and ridicule from my classmates, and though this seemed like a bad thing, it was actually beneficial to my life growth. I shouldn’t have been analyzing this from a perspective of personal benefit, and I should have been accepting it from God and seeking His intention. The CCP is spreading baseless rumors online, slandering and condemning God, and though this seems like a bad thing, God is actually using the great red dragon to render service for His own purposes, as through its negative propaganda, more people have come to know the name of Almighty God. This is truly God’s almightiness and wisdom. I was reported by my roommates, and everyone found out about my faith in God. I was ridiculed and scolded by my family, teachers, and classmates, and though I suffered a bit physically, this situation impelled me to break through the influence of darkness and choose the right path in life. This was a good thing for me. Due to the guidance of God’s words, my state gradually improved, and I was able to face this situation correctly. Whenever I had time, I would ponder God’s words, and didn’t feel that this isolation was so painful. On the contrary, because of coming close to God, my heart was far more fulfilled than before.

Later, God opened up a way out for me. My roommates no longer kept watch over me, and so I took the chance to go out and attend a gathering. When I saw my brothers and sisters again, I felt an overwhelming sense of warmth, and an indescribable joy filled my heart. Although I was able to attend gatherings, my nonbelieving family still opposed my faith, and my teachers would check up on me from time to time, even calling to ask about my whereabouts. Sometimes when I went out to attend gatherings, my heart would be disturbed, and in this environment, I couldn’t freely believe in God or do my duties. I kept praying to God, asking Him to guide me and give me the resolve to make the right choices. One day I heard a hymn of God’s words:

People Should Seek to Live Out a Meaningful Life

1  Man must pursue to live out a life of meaning, and should not be satisfied with his current circumstances. To live out the image of Peter, he must possess the knowledge and experiences of Peter. Man must pursue things that are higher and more profound. He must pursue a deeper, purer love of God, and a life that has value and meaning. Only this is life; only then will man be the same as Peter. You must focus on being proactive toward your entry on the positive side, and must not passively allow yourself to backslide for the sake of momentary ease while ignoring more profound, more specific, and more practical truths. Your love must be practical, and you must find ways to free yourself from this depraved, carefree life that is no different from an animal’s. You must live out a life of meaning, a life of value, and you must not fool yourself or treat your life like a toy to be played with.

2  For everyone who aspires to love God, there are no unobtainable truths and no justice for which they cannot stand firm. How should you live your life? How should you love God, and use this love to satisfy His intentions? There is no greater matter in your life. Above all, you must have such aspirations and perseverance, and should not be like those who are spineless weaklings. You must learn how to experience a meaningful life and experience meaningful truths, and should not treat yourself perfunctorily in that way. Without you realizing it, your life will pass you by; after that, will you have another opportunity to love God? Can man love God after he is dead? You must have the same aspirations and conscience as Peter; your life must be meaningful, and you must not play games with yourself. As a human being, and as a person who pursues God, you must be able to carefully consider how you treat your life, how you should offer yourself to God, how you should have a more meaningful faith in God, and how, since you love God, you should love Him in a way that is more pure, more beautiful, and more good.

—The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment

After hearing this hymn, I understood God’s intention. I had to enter and pursue from a positive aspect, and I shouldn’t be satisfied with just not retreating or being negative. I had to actively pursue the truth and seek how to live out a meaningful life. Especially when I read God’s words “Your love must be practical, and you must find ways to free yourself from this depraved, carefree life that is no different from an animal’s. You must live out a life of meaning, a life of value, and you must not fool yourself or treat your life like a toy to be played with,” I felt that this was God instructing us and making requirements of us, and that this was what I should pursue. My life was indeed very degenerate. In university, the teachers didn’t teach us to establish the correct life goals, but instead to enjoy university life. Some teachers even said that if you hadn’t skipped class, been in a relationship, or been crazy in university, then you hadn’t lived at all. The atmosphere throughout the whole school was like this, with everyone going after food, drink, and fun, and competing against each other. Few people were actually focused on their studies. The things people were talking about weren’t how to study or master a skill, but eating, drinking, having fun, sucking up to teachers, and how to manage personal relationships. We seemed to be living free and easy lives, but inside, we felt empty and confused, with no idea of what the meaning of life might be, and not knowing what exactly we should pursue in life. Although I knew that pursuing these things had no real meaning, my stature was small, and in this environment, I still couldn’t help but follow this way of life, and I found it hard to calm down and pursue the truth. I was satisfied with occasionally going out to gatherings and maintaining a good relationship with my parents without thinking about how to fulfill the duty of a created being. Was I not just being negative and retreating to enjoy temporary comfort? Before, I didn’t understand the truth and didn’t know what was truly valuable to pursue. I just lived according to the wishes of my teachers and parents, thinking that if I got into university, I would find some direction and goal in life. But in reality, what university life brought me wasn’t a bright path in life, but rather a life of even greater depravity and confusion. What was the point of continuing to stay there? I thought about when I recently went to preach the gospel with my brothers and sisters. Although we were sometimes insulted and mocked, my heart felt fulfilled and joyful, and I felt that doing the duty of a created being and doing just things was what made life meaningful. This joy and peace in the heart can’t be replaced by anything. Before, I didn’t properly believe in God and wasted so much time because I was pursuing knowledge. If I continued to be constrained by my parents, and continued this degenerate life in school, would this not be utterly foolish of me? Realizing this, I resolved to give up my studies and do my duty.

On the evening of January 1, 2013, my sister and I returned home. My father said to my sister and me, “I called you back today to lay everything out for you. You need to have a good think and decide if you still want to believe in God. If you want to believe in God, then don’t bother continuing your studies anymore, and you can both consider yourselves dead to me! If you decide to drop your faith, then sever your ties with those who believe in God and continue your studies.” He also said, “Believing in God is opposed by the government, and we’re living under the CCP’s rule. Do you really think you can oppose them?” As soon as my sister and I testified to God’s work to them, my father and uncle became enraged, denying and blaspheming God, and they rebuked and scolded us. Seeing them like this really scared me, and I kept praying to God in my heart, asking God to give me the faith and strength to face this situation. They kept on berating us until around two or three in the morning. My mother also kept grilling us about whether we still wanted to believe in God. I really wanted to stay silent and just scrape through, but I thought about how because I had been afraid of being rejected by my family, I didn’t dare to admit I believed in God, and I didn’t testify to God. I couldn’t do that again. Not only was my family waiting for my response, but God was waiting for me to declare my position too. Satan was also watching what I’d choose. No matter how my parents treated me, I had to stand firm in my testimony. So I firmly said, “I’m going to keep believing in God!” My father angrily said, “Since you’re going to keep believing in God, you should leave this house. From now on, you’re dead to me!” He then threw us out of his room. My heart was in so much pain. I just wanted to believe in God, and I never said I didn’t want my parents, but why couldn’t they listen to my heart? Why were they forcing me to choose? When I returned to my room, I couldn’t calm my emotions. I prayed to God, “God! No matter how they try to stop me, I will follow You. Please give me faith and strength, and guide me on the path ahead.”

The next morning, as dawn began to break, my aunt and uncle came to our house, urging my sister and me not to believe in God. My aunt said my dad had suffered a lot in raising us, and she even cried, begging me to stop believing in God. I was really weak and really wanted to nod along just to appease them, but I knew that in doing this, I wouldn’t be bearing witness, and that I couldn’t deny God or betray Him. I couldn’t hurt God’s heart. Over the next couple of days, they kept accusing my sister and me of lacking conscience. My father also kept insisting that we choose between our faith and our family. In my heart, I knew that believing in God was the right path. God had been guiding and accompanying me ever since I was little, and my faith had already become part of my life. I couldn’t leave God. But when I thought about how hard my parents worked to raise me, I felt a constant feeling of indebtedness to them in my heart, and I didn’t want to hurt their feelings either. I didn’t know what to do, so I kept praying to God, asking Him to guide me. I thought of God’s words: “God created this world and brought man, a living being unto which He bestowed life, into it. Next, man came to have parents and kin, and was no longer alone. Ever since man first laid eyes on this material world, they were destined to exist within the ordination of God. The breath of life from God supports each and every living being throughout growth into adulthood. During this process, no one feels that man is growing up under the care of God; rather, they believe that man is doing so under the loving care of their parents, and that it is their own life instinct that directs their growing up. This is because man knows not who bestowed them life, or from whence it came, much less the way in which the instinct of life creates miracles. They know only that food is the basis on which their life continues, that perseverance is the source of their existence, and that the beliefs in their mind are the capital upon which their survival depends. Of God’s grace and provision, man is utterly oblivious, and thus do they fritter away the life bestowed upon them by God…. Not a single one of this humanity that God cares for day and night takes it upon themselves to worship Him. God only continues to work on man, for whom He holds out no expectations, as He has planned. He does so in the hope that one day, man will awaken from their dream and suddenly realize the value and meaning of life, the price God paid for all that He has given them, and the eager solicitude with which God waits for man to turn back to Him” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God Is the Source of Man’s Life). From God’s words, I understood that my life comes from God, and that it is God who has given me this breath of life, allowing me to survive in this world. My family and my parents were arranged by God. Though it seemed like my parents raised me to adulthood, in reality, it is because God has been secretly watching over and protecting me that I have survived until today. From my childhood to my adulthood, my parents only provided for my material needs and tuition, but they rarely cared about me or taught me how to conduct myself. It was only by reading God’s words that I learned how to conduct myself properly. When I was young, my cousin and I would argue over trivial matters, and it was my grandmother who used God’s words to teach me to learn to be tolerant and patient, and not to be petty or seek revenge. In school, many of my classmates pursued evil trends, and they became addicted to online games and got into relationships too early. I read God’s words and knew that these things were displeasing to God, and so I didn’t follow them in pursuing these things. In university, many of my classmates cheated on exams, sucked up to the teachers for the sake of their academic future, and exploited one another. I understood from God’s words that God requires us to be honest people, and that we shouldn’t engage in deception, jealousy, or disputes, and so I didn’t follow them in doing these things. Also, as I grew up, I encountered a lot of scary and intimidating situations, and by relying on prayer and calling out to God, I was always able to find reliance and stop being afraid. It was God’s words that guided me and helped me understand some truths, and so I wasn’t misled or tempted by those evil trends, and I didn’t become wicked or depraved. It was also God who always watched over and protected me, allowing me to grow up peacefully and healthily. It was God’s preordination that my parents gave birth to me. Their providing for me was also under God’s sovereignty, and I should repay God’s love. After believing in God for so many years, I hadn’t done much for God, and I’d just been enjoying God’s grace and blessings. Before, because of my parents constraining me, I didn’t do my duties, but I couldn’t continue to be rebellious like this, and I no longer wanted to abandon my duties to maintain my relationship with my parents.

I read more of God’s words: “By what principle do God’s words ask that people treat others? Love what God loves, and hate what God hates: This is the principle that should be adhered to. God loves those who pursue the truth and are able to follow His will; these are also the people that we should love. Those who are not able to follow God’s will, who hate and rebel against God—these people are detested by God, and we should detest them, too. This is what God asks of man. If your parents do not believe in God, if they know full well that faith in God is the right path, and that it can lead to salvation, yet remain unreceptive, then there is no doubt that they are people who are averse to and hate the truth, and that they are people who resist and hate God—and God naturally abhors and hates them. Could you abhor such parents? They oppose and revile God—in which case they are surely demons and Satans. Could you hate and curse them? These are all real questions. If your parents prevent you from believing in God, how should you treat them? As is asked by God, you should love what God loves, and hate what God hates” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Recognizing One’s Own Misguided Views Can One Truly Transform). When I saw that God’s word says: “Love what God loves, and hate what God hates,” I gained a clearer understanding of what choice I should make. My parents didn’t believe in God and even tried to persecute me and stop me from believing. When my sister and I testified to them about God, my dad got very angry and cursed God, saying blasphemous things. Their essence is that of devils, and they belong to Satan. Previously, I’d thought they only opposed my faith because they were misled by the CCP’s baseless rumors, but when others also saw the CCP’s baseless rumors, they were able to discern right from wrong and didn’t blindly follow the CCP’s condemnation of God. But my parents didn’t discern, and they blindly believed the CCP and went along with it in its condemnation. Moreover, my grandparents preached the gospel to them before, but they didn’t accept it, and later, when they saw my grandparents leading us to believe in God, they harbored hatred toward my grandparents, even attacking and insulting them. They even threatened my grandparents, saying that if they kept on believing in God, they would stop giving them money. During this time, they also constantly threatened my sister and me not to believe in God. This time, when they found out we believed in God, they tried to force us to abandon our faith by cutting off ties with us. I realized that it wasn’t that they were foolish and ignorant or incapable of discerning, but that their nature was one of hatred for God and resistance against Him. That day, I chose to believe in God and walk the right path, but my parents kept trying to persecute and oppose me. I was not on the same path as them, and I couldn’t continue to be constrained by them. That night, I tossed and turned, unable to sleep, and I kept praying to God, asking God to guide me and give me an opportunity to do my duty.

The next morning, my dad drove me to school. After finishing my final exams, I handed in my paper early, and while my classmates weren’t around, I packed my bags and went out to do my duty. As of now, I have been doing my duty in the church for almost ten years, and by reading God’s words and training in my duty, I’ve gradually learned to discern all kinds of people, events, and things, and I’ve also gained some understanding of my corrupt disposition. Slowly, I’ve started to live out a little bit of human likeness. Every time I recall this experience, I’m very grateful to God. Although I had believed in God since I was young, I was too ignorant and cowardly, and even though I knew the true way, I didn’t have the courage to hold on to it. I succumbed to my parents’ coercion and couldn’t properly pursue the truth and do my duty. It is God who has always been guiding me, using His words to guide me onto the correct path in life. I’m grateful for God’s love and salvation.