By Zheng Qi, China

After accepting Almighty God’s work of the last days, by eating and drinking God’s words, I realized that only by believing in and worshiping God can humanity have a good fate and destination, and I understood that in this dark and evil world, faith in God is the only right path in life. At that time, my son was in middle school, and I often talked to him about believing in God, telling him that humans were created by God and should therefore believe in and worship God, and in my heart, I hoped for my son to believe in God with me. That way, he’d be able to receive God’s care and protection, and have a good destination. Shortly after finding God, I began doing my duty in the church, but because the CCP had been arresting and persecuting Christians and spreading baseless rumors everywhere, my husband began to obstruct and persecute me, fearing that I might be arrested for my faith and that it would also implicate my family, and he often argued with me. But my son was very supportive of my faith, and he often tried to persuade his father not to stand in my way. Every time my son came home on weekends, I would share Bible stories and read God’s words with him whenever I had time. Sometimes, when I saw him watching TV and not actively reading God’s words, I would get anxious, and I’d keep asking him to read God’s words with me. My son would agree verbally, but then just sit there without moving, and I’d get angry and sometimes scold him. When he saw that I was angry, he’d quickly come over to read a few passages of God’s words. I could tell that my son was just going through the motions with me, but I felt that in any case, it was better than him not reading God’s words at all. After my son started high school, I began doing my duty at a nearby church, and whenever the weekend came, I would try my best to go home so I could talk to him about believing in God. Later, my son went off to university, and I bought him an MP5 player so he could take it to school and find time to read God’s words. After a while, I would call him to remind him, telling him to “take some supplements,” implying that he should read more of God’s words. When my son came home for vacation, the first thing I asked him was, “Have you been reading God’s words at school?” When he said he’d been reading them when he had time, I felt relieved.

In the spring of 2011, someone reported my faith to the authorities, and so to avoid being arrested by the CCP, I had to leave home to do my duties. At that time, my son was in his second year at a university far away, and I’d travel dozens of miles just to use a public phone to call him, reminding him, “Don’t forget to ‘take your supplements.’” When I heard him promise to do so, I felt at ease. I’d always hoped that after graduating, he could come and join me in believing in God, and I often prayed to God, asking Him to move my son’s heart and guide him to believe in God. But things went against my wishes. In the fall of 2013, my son went to a military academy after graduating. I was anxious then, “The CCP is an atheistic party, and it doesn’t allow military personnel to have faith. After going to the academy, not only will my son be forbidden from reading God’s words, but he’ll also be subjected to CCP brainwashing every day, and be indoctrinated with atheistic ideas. If this carries on, then he’ll surely grow further and further away from God. Will he still be able to come to believe in God?” Over those years, I’d always hoped my son would come to believe in God and have a good destination, but now, that wish of mine had been completely shattered. When I thought about my son going to that hellhole, I couldn’t eat or sleep, and I couldn’t help but cry. I thought back to how, during his high school years, he would come home once every two weeks, and I often couldn’t return in time due to my duties. Later, when I left home to do my duties, I no longer had time to fellowship with him. I felt that if I’d done my duties locally, I could have read more of God’s words with him and guided him more, and that perhaps he wouldn’t have walked the wrong path. When I thought this way, I felt like I hadn’t fulfilled my responsibilities as a mother, and I felt indebted to my son. And even more so, I was worried about his future and fate. Later, I saw many young brothers and sisters in the church who were about the same age as my son, and I saw them believing in God and walking the right path, while my son was out pursuing the world. I always felt regret about him, feeling remorseful that I hadn’t put more effort into him, and that I hadn’t read more of God’s words with him. When I wasn’t busy with my duties, I’d think about him and find myself filled with guilt and sorrow.

Later, I read two passages of God’s words, and I was able to let go of some of my concerns about my son. Almighty God says: “Besides birth and childrearing, the parents’ responsibility in their children’s lives is simply to provide them with a formal environment to grow up in, for nothing except the predestination of the Creator has a bearing on a person’s fate. No one can control what kind of future a person will have; it is predetermined long in advance, and not even one’s parents can change one’s fate. As far as fate is concerned, everyone is independent, and everyone has their own fate. So, no one’s parents can stave off one’s fate in life or exert the slightest influence on the role one plays in life” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). “It’s wrong to say, ‘Children’s failure to follow the right path is to do with their parents.’ Whoever it is, if they are a certain kind of person, they will walk a certain path. Is this not certain? (Yes.) The path a person takes determines what they are. The path they take and the kind of person they become are up to them. These are things that are predestined, innate, and have to do with the person’s nature. So what’s the use of parental education? Can it govern a person’s nature? (No.) Parental education cannot govern human nature and cannot solve the problem of which path a person takes. What is the only education that parents can provide? Some simple behaviors in their children’s daily life, some fairly superficial thoughts and rules of comportment—these are things that have something to do with parents. Before their children reach adulthood, parents should fulfill their due responsibility, which is to educate their children to follow the right path, study hard, and strive to be able to rise above the rest after they grow up, not to do bad things or to become bad people. Parents should also regulate their children’s behavior, teach them to be polite and to greet their elders whenever they see them, and teach them other things relating to behavior—this is the responsibility that parents ought to fulfill. Taking care of their child’s life and educating them with some basic rules of comportment—that is what parental influence amounts to. As for their child’s personality, parents cannot teach this. Some parents are laid-back and do everything at a leisurely pace, whereas their children are very impatient and can’t stay still even for a short while. They go off on their own to make a living when they are 14 or 15 years old, they make their own decisions in everything, they don’t need their parents, and they are very independent. Is this taught by their parents? No. Therefore, a person’s personality, disposition, and even their essence, as well as the path they choose in the future, have nothing whatsoever to do with their parents. … There is a problem with the expression ‘To feed without teaching is the father’s fault.’ Although parents have a responsibility to educate their children, a child’s destiny is not determined by their parents, but by the child’s nature. Can education resolve the problem of a child’s nature? It cannot resolve it at all. The path a person takes in life is not determined by their parents, but is preordained by God. It is said that ‘Man’s fate is determined by Heaven,’ and this saying is summed up by human experience. Before a person reaches adulthood, you cannot tell what path they will take. Once they become an adult, and have thoughts and can reflect on problems, they will choose what to do out in the wider community. Some people say they want to be senior officials, others say they want to be lawyers, and still others say they want to be writers. Everyone has their own choices and their own ideas. No one says, ‘I’ll just wait for my parents to educate me. I’ll become whatever my parents educate me to become.’ No one is as foolish as this. After reaching adulthood, people’s ideas begin to stir and gradually mature, and thus the path and goals ahead of them become increasingly clear. At this time, little by little it becomes obvious and apparent what type of person they are, and which group they are part of. From this point onward, each person’s personality gradually becomes clearly defined, as does their disposition, as well as the path they are pursuing, their direction in life, and the group they belong to. What is all this based upon? Ultimately, this is what God has preordained—it has nothing to do with one’s parents” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part One)). From God’s words, I realized that parents are responsible for birthing and raising their children, for providing a good environment for their growth, for educating them to be good, walk the right path, and not do bad things before they reach adulthood, and for teaching them the most basic principles of conduct. However, a child’s fate and the path they take in life are all predestined by God, and not things parents can decide or control. After children become adults, they have their own ideas and choices, and things like the kind of person they are, the group they belong to, and the path they choose to walk all become clear. But I fallaciously thought that when my child grew up and didn’t believe in God or walk the right path, this was my failure as a mother, and that it was because I hadn’t read more of God’s words to him or guided him more, which caused him to walk the path of the world. Over the last ten years, I’d been living in a deep sense of guilt, constantly feeling indebted to him. I’d believed in God for many years, but I didn’t view people and matters according to God’s words. This was truly shameful! My son choosing not to walk the path of faith was also determined by his nature that doesn’t love the truth. I’d actually talked to him about believing in God quite often at home, but he wasn’t interested in God’s words. Every time I had to call him and urge him, he’d just read a little of God’s words to appease me. As he grew up, he came to be enamored with the world, fame, and gain, so naturally he sought to walk the path of the world. Even if I hadn’t left home to do my duty and I’d stayed home to read God’s words to him every day, he still wouldn’t have come to believe in God. His fate and the path he walks aren’t things that I, as his mother, can control. This is related to his nature and also depends on God’s predestination. There was a sister who devoted herself to doing her duty full-time after graduating from college, but she was sent to the police station by her nonbelieving father. After she was released, she continued to believe in God and do her duty. Another sister went to a prestigious university, and when she heard God’s words, she was deeply moved and resolved to believe in God, and so she gave up her graduate studies and began to do her duty and expend herself for God full-time. From these facts I saw that the path people decide to walk is truly unrelated to their parents.

One day during my devotionals, I read these words of God: “The requirements that some parents have for their children are: ‘Our children ought to embark on the right path, they should believe in God, abandon the secular world, and give up their jobs. Otherwise, when we enter the kingdom, they won’t be able to get in, and we’ll be separated from them. It would be so wonderful if our whole family could enter the kingdom together! We could be together in heaven, as we are here on earth. While we’re in the kingdom, we mustn’t leave one another, we must stay together throughout the ages!’ Then, it turns out that their children do not believe in God, and that they instead pursue worldly things, and strive to earn a lot of money and to become very wealthy; they wear whatever is fashionable, they do and talk about whatever is trendy, and they do not fulfill their parents’ wishes. As a result, these parents feel upset, they pray and fast because of this, fasting for a week, 10 days, or a fortnight, and put in a lot of effort for the sake of their children in this matter. They are often so hungry that they feel dizzy, and they often pray before God while weeping. But, no matter how they pray, or how much effort they put in, their children are unmoved, and do not know to wake up. The more their children refuse to believe, the more these parents think: ‘Oh no, I’ve failed my children, I’ve let them down. I haven’t been able to spread the gospel to them, and I haven’t brought them with me onto the path of salvation. Those fools—it’s the path to salvation!’ They are not fools; they just do not have this need. It is these parents who are fools, for trying to force their children onto this path, isn’t it? If their children had this need, would it be necessary for these parents to speak about these things? Their children would come to believe by themselves. These parents always think: ‘I’ve let my children down. I encouraged them to go to college from a young age, and since they went to college, they haven’t turned back. They won’t stop pursuing worldly things, and whenever they come back, they just talk about work, making money, about who got a promotion or bought a car, who married rich, who went to Europe to do advanced studies or to be an exchange student, and say how great other people’s lives are going. Whenever they come home, they talk about those things, and I don’t want to hear them, but there’s nothing I can do about it. No matter what I say to try and get them to believe in God, they still won’t listen.’ Consequently, they fall out with their children. Whenever they see their children, their faces darken; whenever they talk to their children, their expressions sour. Some children don’t know what to do, and they think: ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with my parents. If I don’t believe in God, then I just don’t believe in Him. Why do they always treat me with this attitude? I thought that the more someone believes in God, the better person they’d become. How can believers in God have so little affection for their families?’ These parents are so worried about their children that they’re about to burst a blood vessel, and they say: ‘They’re not my children! I’m cutting off ties with them, I’m disowning them!’ They say that, but that’s not really how they feel. Aren’t parents like this foolish? (Yes.) They always want to control and take hold of everything, they always wish to take hold of their children’s futures, their faith, and the paths that they walk. This is so foolish! It’s not appropriate” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (18)). What God exposes is absolutely accurate. This was exactly what I’d thought in my heart, and this was how I’d acted. When my child was in school, in my heart I’d already planned out that after he graduated, we would believe in God together and enter the kingdom as mother and son. How wonderful that would be! So, when my child was home, I would take time to talk to him about believing in God, urging him over and over again to read God’s words, and when he didn’t listen, I would get angry and sometimes even scold him. When he was studying at a university in another city, I would travel dozens of miles to call him and remind him to read God’s words, and I unreasonably prayed before God and made demands of Him, asking Him to touch my child’s heart and lead him to faith. I couldn’t even control my own fate, yet I kept trying to orchestrate and manipulate my child’s, wanting to make him follow the path I’d planned for him. This was truly arrogant and overconfident of me! When I learned that my son had chosen the path of the world, I became anxious, upset, couldn’t eat or sleep, and regretted not putting in more effort to guide him onto the path of faith. Actually, my anxiety was because I was afraid that if my child didn’t believe in God, he would fall into disaster. Controlled by my feelings, I disregarded God’s intentions, and just insisted on dragging my child to faith in God against his will. I even unreasonably prayed to God to help me fulfill my dream of entering the kingdom together with my son. Everything I did was truly foolish, and utterly detestable to God!

Later on, I read more of God’s words: “As parents, when it comes to the attitude one should foster toward their adult children, apart from blessing them in silence and having good expectations for them, no matter what kind of livelihood their children lead, what kind of destiny or life they have, parents can only let it happen. No parent can change any of this, nor can they control it. Although you gave birth to your children and raised them, as we’ve discussed before, parents are not the masters of their children’s destinies. Parents conceive their children’s physical body and raise them to adulthood, but as for what kind of destiny their children will have, this is not something given or chosen by their parents, and their parents certainly don’t decide it. You wish for your children to do well, but does that guarantee they will? You do not wish for them to encounter misfortune, bad luck, and all kinds of unfortunate events, but does that mean they will be able to avoid them? Regardless of what your children face, none of those things are subject to human will, nor is any of it determined by your needs or expectations. So, what does this tell you? Since children have become adults, are capable of taking care of themselves, of having independent thoughts, views on things, principles of self-comportment, and outlooks on life, and are no longer influenced, mastered, constrained, or managed by their parents, then they are truly an adult. What does it mean that they have become an adult? It means that their parents should let go. In written language, this is called ‘letting go,’ allowing children to independently explore and take their own path in life” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (19)). “As someone who believes in God and pursues the truth and salvation, the energy and time you have left in your life should be spent performing your duty and on whatever God has entrusted to you; you shouldn’t spend any time on your children. Your life does not belong to your children, and it should not be consumed for their lives or survival, nor to satisfy your expectations of them. Instead, it should be devoted to the duty and entrusted task that God has given you, as well as the mission you should fulfill as a created being. This is where the value and meaning of your life lie. If you are willing to lose your own dignity and become a slave to your children, to worry about them, and to do anything for them in order to satisfy your own expectations for them, then all of this is meaningless and devoid of value, and it will not be commemorated. If you persist in doing so and do not let go of these ideas and actions, it can only mean that you are not someone who pursues the truth, that you are not a qualified created being, and that you are quite rebellious. You cherish neither the life nor the time given to you by God. … Once this obligation is fulfilled, and your children grow up into adults, whether they become highly successful or remain plain, ordinary, and simple individuals, it has nothing to do with you, because their destiny is not determined by you, nor is it your choice, and you certainly did not give it to them—it is ordained by God. Since it is ordained by God, you should not interfere or stick your nose into their life or their survival. Their habits, daily routines, and attitude toward life, whatever survival strategies they have, whatever outlook on life, whatever their attitude toward the world—these are their own choices to make, and they are not your concern. You have no obligation to correct them or to bear any suffering on their behalf to ensure that they are happy every day. All of these things are unnecessary. Each person’s destiny is determined by God; therefore, how much blessing or suffering they experience in life, what kind of family, marriage, and children they have, what experiences they go through in society, and what events they experience in life, they themselves cannot foresee or change such things, and parents have even less of an ability to change them” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (19)). God’s words make it very clear the attitude with which we should treat our children. Once parents have raised their children to adulthood, their responsibilities are complete. As for what path their children take or what fate they have, these things aren’t for parents to decide. My responsibilities toward my son had long since been fulfilled, so I shouldn’t unreasonably interfere in my child’s life or the path he takes. I had to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements and accept everything from God. I thought of Job. As a father, he also hoped his children would believe in and worship God like he did, but Job had principles in how he treated his children. He simply preached the gospel to them and fulfilled his responsibility as a father, and as for whether they believed in God, Job didn’t try to drag them to believe against their will, and he didn’t interfere in the path they chose. He didn’t pray before God for his children, appealing to God to move their hearts to believe in Him. He simply submitted to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. Job’s practice was in accordance with God’s intentions. In comparing myself to Job, I felt ashamed. I’d eaten and drunk so many of God’s words, yet God had no place in my heart. When facing situations, I didn’t seek the truth or grasp God’s intentions, but instead, I just blindly acted as I wished. I had to follow Job’s example and treat my son according to the truth principles.

Now my son is still out seeking in the world, but I no longer worry about his future or fate, nor do I feel sad or upset for him. It was God’s words that turned my fallacious views around. Thanks be to God!