By Lorna, USA

In May 2023, I was doing duties away from home. One day I received a letter from my hometown, which mentioned that my mother had had a stroke a few years before, and had limited mobility. I couldn’t believe that it was true. When I thought of the image of my mom after a stroke, I started crying uncontrollably. I thought to myself, “The CCP’s persecution and pursuit of me has led to me not returning home for nearly nine years. My nonbelieving family members and relatives would definitely have been looking for me. Could it be that they kept interrogating her, and she had a stroke because she was under so much pressure? None of my family members believe in God, and they even persecute my mother. Will they really look after her well? Especially my brother and my sister-in-law: now that Mom has had a stroke, not only is she unable to do business and earn money, she also cannot help them look after their kids either. Instead, she needs them to look after her. There is a saying, ‘There are no filial sons whose parents have a chronic illness.’ As time goes on, will they still have the patience to care for her? Will relatives, friends, and neighbors say cutting things to her? If this happens, then not only will my mother suffer the torment of illness, she’ll also have to endure mental pain. Will she be able to overcome this situation?” At the time, I really wanted to return home immediately to take care of my mother, but I couldn’t go home because the CCP was persecuting me and trying to arrest me. I thought about how she had given birth to me, raised me, and supported me through my studies. Life at home was hard, and my mother scrimped and saved and took on the pressure of a high-interest loan to send me to university. I hadn’t been able to take care of my mother these past nine years, and now even after she had a stroke, I couldn’t go home to care for her. My mother had paid such a high price for me, but as her daughter I hadn’t fulfilled any of my filial duties. I felt like I was really indebted to her. All these years, I had always looked forward to seeing my mother again one day, and having a long heart-to-heart talk with her. But now, this dream had been completely shattered. After the stroke, my mother couldn’t even talk normally, let alone have a long and intimate conversation. The more I thought about it, the more anguished I felt. I couldn’t even calm my heart down when I was doing my duty. The image of my mother being tormented by illness kept flashing through my mind again and again, and I kept crying uncontrollably.

In the evening, I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. My mind was filled with the picture of my mother after her stroke, and I was living entirely in my affections for her. I realized that my state was incorrect, and that if I carried on like this, I would definitely not be able to do my duty well. We are at a crucial juncture in spreading the gospel. I should adjust my state as quickly as possible and dedicate my heart to my duty again. At this time, I remembered Job’s experience. Overnight, Job’s cattle and sheep, which had covered the hillsides, were taken away, his children died, and sore boils developed all over his body. In the face of such an enormous trial and such great pain, Job never spoke a word of complaint about God. He even said: “Jehovah gave, and Jehovah has taken away; blessed be the name of Jehovah” (Job 1:21). Now when my mother had a stroke, although I didn’t completely understand God’s intention, I knew that this event coming upon me was God trying and testing me. I had to imitate Job. No matter what, I could not sin with my lips by speaking a word of complaint about God, and I could not abandon my duty and betray God. When I thought this, my heart slowly calmed down.

One morning, I watched an experiential testimony video called After Mom Was Diagnosed With Cancer. A passage of God’s words quoted within it moved me greatly. Almighty God says: “You do not need to overly analyze or investigate the matter of your parents falling seriously ill or meeting with some great misfortune, and you certainly should not put energy into it—doing so will be of no use. People being born, growing old, getting sick, dying, and encountering various great and small matters in life are very normal occurrences. If you are an adult, then you should have a mature way of thinking, and you should approach this matter calmly and correctly: ‘My parents are ill. Some people say that it’s because they missed me so much, is that possible? They definitely missed me—how could a person not miss their own child? I missed them too, so why didn’t I get sick?’ Does any person get sick because they miss their children? That’s not the case. So, what is going on when your parents encounter these significant matters? It can only be said that God has orchestrated this kind of matter in their lives.It has been orchestrated by God’s hand—you cannot focus on objective reasons and causes—your parents were supposed to encounter this matter when they reached this age, they were supposed to be struck with this illness. Could they have avoided it if you had been there? If God had not arranged for them to fall ill as part of their fates, then nothing would have happened to them, even if you hadn’t been with them. If they were destined to encounter this kind of great misfortune in their lives, what effect could you have had if you’d been by their side? They still wouldn’t have been able to avoid it, right? (Right.) Think about those people who don’t believe in God—aren’t their families all together, year after year? When those parents encounter great misfortune, the members of their extended family and their children are all with them, right? When parents fall ill, or when their illnesses worsen, is it because their children left them? That’s not the case, it is fated to happen. It’s just that, as their child, because you have this blood tie with your parents, you will feel upset when you hear that they are sick, while other people won’t feel anything. This is very normal. However, your parents encountering this kind of great misfortune doesn’t mean that you need to analyze and investigate, or ponder on how to get rid of it or resolve it. Your parents are adults; they have encountered this more than a few times in society. If God arranges an environment to rid them of this matter, then, sooner or later, it will vanish completely. If this matter is a life hurdle for them, and they must experience it, then it is up to God how long they must experience it for. It is something that they must experience, and they cannot avoid it. If you wish to single-handedly resolve this matter, to analyze and investigate the source, causes, and consequences of this matter, that is a foolish thought. It is of no use, and it is superfluous. You should not act in this way, analyzing, investigating, and thinking about contacting your classmates and friends for help, contacting the hospital for your parents, contacting the best doctors, arranging for the best hospital bed for them—you do not need to rack your brain doing all of these things. If you really do have some excess energy, then you should do a good job at the duty you’re supposed to perform now. Your parents have their own fates. No one can escape the age at which they are supposed to die. Your parents are not the masters of your fate, and in the same way, you are not the master of your parents’ fates. If something is fated to happen to them, what can you do about it? What effect can you being anxious and looking for solutions achieve? It cannot achieve anything; it depends on God’s intentions. If God wants to take them away, and enable you to perform your duty undisturbed, can you interfere with this? Can you discuss conditions with God? What should you do at this time? Racking your brain coming up with solutions, investigating, analyzing, putting the blame on yourself, and feeling ashamed to face your parents—are these the thoughts and actions that a person ought to have? These are all manifestations of a lack of submission to God and the truth; they are irrational, unwise, and rebellious toward God. People should not have these manifestations. Do you understand? (Yes.)” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (17)). From God’s words I understood that how much suffering a person endures in their lifetime, what major illnesses they contract, and how many setbacks they should experience has all been ordained by God long ago, and has nothing to do with objective factors. It was written in my mother’s destiny that she would get ill. As for how many years she would have to experience this illness, whether it could be cured completely or not, and whether she would ultimately be left with any aftereffects, all this had been preordained by God long ago. However, I didn’t understand God’s sovereignty and continued to analyze and investigate, believing that because I hadn’t returned home for all these years, and my nonbelieving family members and relatives had persecuted my mother, she could not endure the pressure she was put under and had a stroke as a result. I also worried that my family would not look after my mother after her stroke, and that relatives, friends, and neighbors would say some cutting things to her, causing her dual anguish in both body and spirit. I could not go home to care for her because of the threat of persecution and arrest by the CCP, and so I lived in indebtedness to her, and my heart was completely occupied by my mother’s illness. I couldn’t even calm my heart down while doing my duty. Now I realized that my mother’s stroke was unrelated to whether I was by her side or not. It’s not the case that she would have avoided this illness if I’d been with her, and it’s also not the case that if I returned home to care for her, then her illness would be alleviated or completely cured. It was like when my grandmother got esophageal cancer and my aunt contracted liver cancer. At the time, my mother racked her brains for ways to treat them, spent a lot of money, and often went to visit them. However, they still ultimately passed away. This showed that what illnesses a person gets in their life and when they will die has all been preordained by God long ago. No matter how people try, or how they take care of the sick, they can never change this in the slightest. Even if I had stayed by my mother’s side and looked after her, she still would have gotten this illness. Through the revelation of these facts, I saw that although I had believed in God for many years, the way that I viewed things was still the same as that of a nonbeliever. I didn’t understand God’s sovereignty. When I thought about this, I felt ashamed in my heart, and was willing to turn back to God, entrusting my mother’s illness completely to God, and being at the mercy of God’s orchestration as to whether it improved or not, not complaining in any event. Slowly, my state improved a lot. Sometimes, I would still think of my mother’s illness, but my heart was in less pain and I was able to dedicate my heart to my duties.

One day, I was chatting with a few sisters and unintentionally mentioned my mother’s stroke. The tears started to well up in the corners of my eyes, and my mind was filled with images of my mother caring for me and supporting my belief in God. Later, I sought: Why did I feel so much pain when I found out that my mother had had a stroke? How should I walk out of this state? In seeking, I read two passages of God’s words: “God created this world and brought man, a living being unto which He bestowed life, into it. Next, man came to have parents and kin, and was no longer alone. Ever since man first laid eyes on this material world, they were destined to exist within the ordination of God.The breath of life from God supports each and every living being throughout growth into adulthood. During this process, no one feels that man is growing up under the care of God; rather, they believe that man is doing so under the loving care of their parents, and that it is their own life instinct that directs their growing up. This is because man knows not who bestowed them life, or from whence it came, much less the way in which the instinct of life creates miracles. They know only that food is the basis on which their life continues, that perseverance is the source of their existence, and that the beliefs in their mind are the capital upon which their survival depends. Of God’s grace and provision, man is utterly oblivious, and thus do they fritter away the life bestowed upon them by God….” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God Is the Source of Man’s Life). “Let’s talk about how ‘Your parents are not your creditors’ should be interpreted. Your parents are not your creditors—isn’t this a fact? (It is.) Since it is a fact, it’s proper for us to explain the matters contained within it. Let’s look at the matter of your parents giving birth to you. Who was it that chose for them to give birth to you: you or your parents? Who chose whom? If you look at this from God’s perspective, the answer is: neither of you. Neither you nor your parents chose for them to give birth to you. If you look at the root of this matter, this was ordained by God. We’ll put this topic to one side for now, as this matter is easy for people to understand. From your perspective, you were passively born to your parents, without having any choice in the matter. From the perspective of your parents, they gave birth to you through their own independent will, right? In other words, putting aside God’s ordination, when it comes to the matter of giving birth to you, it was your parents who had all the power. They chose to give birth to you, and they called all the shots. You did not choose for them to give birth to you, you were passively born to them, and you didn’t have any choice in the matter. So, since your parents had all the power, and they chose to give birth to you, they have an obligation and a responsibility to bring you up, to raise you into an adult, to supply you with an education, with food, clothes, and money—this is their responsibility and obligation, and it is what they ought to do. Whereas you were always passive during the period that they were raising you, you didn’t have the right to choose—you had to be raised by them. Because you were young, you didn’t have the capacity to raise yourself, you had no choice but to be passively brought up by your parents. You were raised in the way that your parents chose, if they gave you nice food and drinks, then you ate and drank nice food and drinks. If your parents provided you with a living environment where you survived off chaff and wild plants, then you survived off chaff and wild plants. In any case, when you were being raised, you were passive, and your parents were fulfilling their responsibility. It’s the same as your parents caring for a flower. Since they want to care for a flower, they should fertilize it, water it, and make sure that it gets sunlight. So, regarding people, no matter whether your parents looked after you meticulously or took great care of you, in any case, they were just fulfilling their responsibility and obligation. Regardless of the reason why they raised you, it was their responsibility—because they gave birth to you, they should take responsibility for you. Based on this, can everything that your parents did for you be considered kindness? It can’t, right? (That’s right.) Your parents fulfilling their responsibility to you doesn’t count as kindness, so if they fulfill their responsibility toward a flower or a plant, watering it and fertilizing it, does that count as kindness? (No.) That is even further from being kindness. Flowers and plants grow better outside—if they’re planted in the ground, with wind, sun, and rainwater, they thrive. They don’t grow as well when they’re planted in a pot indoors as they do outside, but wherever they are, they’re living, right? No matter where they are, it has been ordained by God. You are a living person, and God takes responsibility for every life, enabling it to survive, and to follow the law that all created beings abide by. But as a person, you live in the environment that your parents raise you in, so you should grow up and exist in that environment. You living in that environment is on a larger scale due to God’s ordination; on a smaller scale, it is due to your parents raising you, right? In any case, by raising you your parents are fulfilling a responsibility and an obligation. Raising you into an adult is their obligation and responsibility, and this cannot be called kindness. If it cannot be called kindness, then is it not something that you ought to enjoy? (It is.) This is a kind of right that you should enjoy. You should be raised by your parents, because before you reach adulthood, the role that you play is that of a child being brought up. Therefore, your parents are just fulfilling a kind of responsibility toward you, and you are just receiving it, but you are certainly not receiving grace or kindness from them” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (17)). From God’s words I understood that God is the source of human life, and the breath of my life is given to me by God. Before I was even born, God had already arranged a family and parents for me, and had always watched over me and protected me as I grew up. He also arranged for brothers and sisters to preach the gospel to me, so that I was fortunate enough to hear God’s voice and receive God’s salvation. From then on, I stopped pursuing worldly fame and gain. All this was God’s sovereignty and arrangement. On the surface, it appeared as if my mother was raising me, but this came from God’s sovereignty and preordination. My father valued boys over girls, and never liked me ever since the day I was born. If I did the slightest thing wrong, he would beat me, and every time, my mother stood beside me and protected me. My father didn’t let me go to high school, but my mother insisted that I go and even took on the pressure of a high-interest loan so I could go to university. Once I graduated and started looking for jobs, I hit a wall at every turn and lived in misery and despair. One night, my mother got some sisters to fellowship about God’s words with me to help and support me, so I could walk out of my misery and despair. When I left home to do my duties, my mother gave me a lot of financial support, and also helped me maintain the home situation so that I was not persecuted or hindered by family members. All this that my mother had done for me during my journey of growing up and believing in God was her fulfilling her responsibilities and obligations. These were the responsibilities that she had to bear after giving birth to me; they did not count as kindness and were not something I needed to repay. However, I had always regarded the way my mother brought me up and the price she paid on my behalf as a sort of kindness. Combined with the fact that from a young age, I had been profoundly poisoned by traditional cultural values such as “Filial piety is a virtue to be held above all else,” and “An unfilial person is lower than a beast,” I ended up feeling that I should repay my mother’s kindness. If I didn’t repay it, I would be letting her down, and my conscience would be subject to condemnation. When I found out that my mother had had a stroke, and I couldn’t go home to care for her, my heart was filled with feelings of indebtedness to her, and I couldn’t calm my heart down even when I did my duty. Now, the great catastrophes have descended upon us, and God’s urgent intention is for more people to hear His voice, return before the throne of God, and receive His salvation. At this critical juncture in spreading the gospel, if I solely lived in the midst of affections for my mother, treating my duty lightly and in a perfunctory manner, this would be a grave betrayal of God. I would truly be a person with no conscience and no sense of gratitude. God gave me life, and graced me by allowing me to come before Him and providing me with the words of life. He also protected me in two car accidents, delivering me from danger. Without God’s care and protection, I don’t know how many times I would have died. Without God’s salvation, I would still be living like a nonbeliever, in emptiness and pain. God’s love for me is simply too great. It is God who I should thank the most, and the thing I should do the most is to do my duty well to repay God’s love.

Afterward, I read another passage of God’s words, and found in them the principles of practice relating to how to treat my parents. Almighty God says: “If, based on your living environment and the context you find yourself in, honoring your parents does not conflict with you completing God’s commission and performing your duty—or, in other words, if honoring your parents does not impact your loyal performance of your duty—then you can practice them both at the same time. You do not need to outwardly separate from your parents, and you do not need to outwardly renounce or reject them. In what situation does this apply? (When honoring one’s parents does not conflict with the performance of one’s duty.) That is right. In other words, if your parents do not try to hinder your belief in God, and they are also believers, and they really support and encourage you to perform your duty loyally and complete God’s commission, then your relationship with your parents is not a fleshly relationship between relatives, in the regular sense of the word, and it is a relationship between brothers and sisters of the church. In that case, aside from interacting with them as fellow brothers and sisters of the church, you must also fulfill a few of your filial responsibilities to them. You must show them a bit of extra concern. As long as it does not affect the performance of your duty, that is, so long as your heart is not constrained by them, you can call your parents to ask them how they are doing and to show a bit of concern for them, you can help them to resolve a few difficulties and handle some of their life problems, and you can even help them to resolve some of the difficulties they have in terms of their life entry—you can do all of these things. In other words, if your parents do not obstruct your belief in God, you should maintain this relationship with them, and you should fulfill your responsibilities to them. And why should you show concern for them, take care of them, and ask them how they are doing? Because you are their child and you have this relationship with them, you have another kind of responsibility, and because of this responsibility, you must ask after them a little more and provide them with more substantive assistance. So long as it does not affect the performance of your duty, and so long as your parents do not hinder or disturb your faith in God and your performance of your duty, and they do not hold you back either, then it is natural and fitting for you to fulfill your responsibilities to them, and you must do this to the extent where your conscience does not reproach you—this is the lowest standard that you must meet. If you cannot honor your parents at home due to the impact and hindrance of your circumstances, then you do not have to hold to this rule. You should put yourself at the mercy of God’s orchestrations and submit to His arrangements, and you do not need to insist on honoring your parents. Does God condemn this? God does not condemn this; He does not force people to do this. ... You have a responsibility to honor your parents, and if circumstances allow, you can fulfill this responsibility, but you should not be constrained by your feelings. For example, if one of your parents falls ill and has to go to the hospital, and there is no one to take care of them, and you are too busy with your duty to return home, what should you do? At times like these, you cannot be constrained by your feelings. You should give the matter over to prayer, entrust it to God, and put it at the mercy of God’s orchestrations. That is the kind of attitude that you should have. If God wants to take the life of your parent, and take them away from you, you should still submit. Some people say: ‘Although I have submitted, I still feel miserable and I’ve been crying about it for days—is this not a fleshly feeling?’ This is not a fleshly feeling, it is human kindness, it is possessing humanity, and God does not condemn it. You can cry, but if you cry for several days and are not able to sleep or eat, and you are not in the mood to do your duty, and even wish to go home and visit your parents, then you cannot do your duty well, and you have not put the truth into practice, which means that you are not fulfilling your responsibilities by honoring your parents, you are living amid your feelings. If you honor your parents while living amid your feelings, then you are not fulfilling your responsibilities, and you are not abiding by God’s words, because you have abandoned God’s commission, and you are not someone who follows the way of God. When you encounter this kind of situation, if it does not cause delays to your duty or impact your loyal performance of your duty, you may do some things that you are able to in order to show filial piety to your parents, and you can fulfill the responsibilities that you are capable of fulfilling. In sum, this is what people ought to do and are capable of doing within the scope of humanity. If you get trapped by your feelings, and this holds up the performance of your duty, then that completely contravenes God’s intentions. God never required you to do that, God only demands that you fulfill your responsibilities to your parents, that is all. That is what it means to have filial piety. When God speaks of ‘honoring one’s parents’ there is a context to it. You just need to fulfill a few responsibilities that can be achieved under all kinds of conditions, that is all. As for whether your parents fall gravely ill or die, are these things up to you to decide? How their lives are, when they die, what disease kills them, or how they die—do these things have anything to do with you? (No.) They have nothing to do with you” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (4)). From God’s words I understood that honoring my parents is not a commission from God, nor is it my mission. My heaven-sent vocation is only to fulfill the duties of a created being, because God has said: “Is performing your duty not what you should be doing anyway? It is a heaven-sent vocation, a responsibility that cannot be thrown off. You should perform your duty, even if no one else does. This is the determination you must have” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. In Believing in God, Gaining the Truth Is Most Crucial). Although children have a responsibility to honor their parents, this is not the duty of a created being. We must find the correct path of practice according to different circumstances and backgrounds, and everything we do must be founded on the premise that it does not hinder our duty. If the environment and conditions allow it, I should fulfill my responsibilities as a daughter, and care for my mother to the extent that I am able. However, I couldn’t return home due to the CCP persecuting me and trying to arrest me, and couldn’t stay by her side to care for her. Even my right to see her or give her a phone call to ask about her condition had been ruthlessly stripped from me by the CCP. In addition, I was busy with my duty, and didn’t have time to go back and care for my mother. If I returned home to care for my mother and delayed the work of the church, this would not be in accordance with God’s intention. When I had thought all this through, I felt a lot calmer in my heart, and came before God to pray, “Dear Almighty God, now I know how to treat the matter of my mother’s illness. I am willing to let go of my affections for her and keep to my duty. I cannot return home to take care of her, so I entrust her to Your hands. No matter what comes upon her in the future, I am willing to submit.” After praying, my heart felt a bit more liberated. I was able to dedicate my heart to my duty and was no longer constrained or occupied by the matter of my mother’s stroke. I thank God for setting up this circumstance to allow me to gain some discernment of the traditional ideas within me, and know how to treat my parents correctly.