By Lu Ning, China

In June 2022, our church was facing major arrests by the CCP. I felt extremely sad when I found out that brothers and sisters around me were being arrested one after the other. At the same time, I also worried about my own safety, thinking, “I had been in contact with several of the brothers and sisters who had been arrested. I had even done duties and ridden in the same car with some of them. If the police check CCTV images, then there is no way I can escape being implicated. I have lupus, and my feet are swollen. If I were arrested and tortured by the police, there would be no way my body could withstand it. Moreover, in jail I wouldn’t be able to eat or sleep well. My health is so poor anyway, so even if the police didn’t beat me to death I would die of illness in jail. If I die, then I would lose my chance of salvation.” When I thought of this, I felt quite scared in my heart. One day, I went to send a letter to a leader, Sister Zhao Yan. She said that when she was out she had noticed that someone seemed to be following her. Later, she circled around many different places, only returning home when she saw that she had thrown that person off. When I heard this, I got a little nervous. I thought to myself, “I need to deliver letters to her two or three times a day. If she’s being followed, will I be implicated?” I wanted to hide away and not deliver letters anymore. However, I then thought that as the environment was so adverse, the leaders could not do their work in person. Many tasks had to be carried out via letters. If letters couldn’t be delivered to the leaders on time, the work would be delayed. I turned it over in my mind, and decided I just had to screw up my courage and continue to do this duty. In addition to sending and receiving letters, I also watered newcomers. A gathering place for newcomers was once visited by a sister who was arrested. Since we couldn’t find a suitable host family, and the newcomer gatherings could not be stopped, after weighing up the overall situation, we decided that this gathering place could still be used if we kept an eye on the situation. We continued to gather there. However, I worried that if the police found out about this gathering place, they might come and arrest us at any time. When we were gathering, I couldn’t calm my heart down. At the time, some newcomers were tied up with work, and some were being persecuted by their families. I did not ponder over how to fellowship to resolve the state of the newcomers. When I went to gatherings, I was just going through the process. Gradually, they stopped gathering regularly. Later, I realized that my own state was incorrect, and sought the truth to resolve my own problems.

During my devotionals, I read these words of God: “When I formally begin My work, all people move as I move, such that people throughout the universe occupy themselves in step with Me, the whole universe is in a state of ‘joyful busyness,’ and man is spurred onward by Me. In consequence, the great red dragon itself is whipped into a state of frenzy and bewilderment by Me, and it serves My work, and, despite being unwilling, it is unable to follow its own desires, but is left with no choice but to ‘submit to My orchestrations.’ In all of My plans, the great red dragon is My foil, My enemy, and also My servant; as such, I have never relaxed My ‘requirements’ of it. Therefore, the final stage of the work of My incarnation is completed in its household—this is more conducive to the great red dragon doing service for Me properly, through which I will conquer it and complete My plan. As I work, all angels embark upon the decisive battle with Me and resolve to satisfy My intentions in the final stage, so that the people on earth surrender before Me like the angels, and have no desire to oppose Me, and do nothing that betrays Me. These are the dynamics of My work throughout the universe” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Words to the Entire Universe, Chapter 29). After reading the words of God, I understood that the great red dragon is a service object of God’s work. God uses the great red dragon’s persecution to serve in revealing all kinds of people. It will be revealed who are tares and who are wheat. People who truly believe in God and who have true faith in God are able to persist in doing their duty no matter what environment they are faced with or how dangerous their environment is. People who do not truly believe in God will be timid and retreat when faced with arrest and persecution. I saw that when faced with a dangerous environment, I even didn’t want to do my duty because of timidity and fear, and I constantly wanted to hide away. The only thing I considered was my personal safety. I didn’t consider the work of the church at all. I was even perfunctory when watering newcomers. Was my behavior not a betrayal of God? If I continued like this, would I not be a tare, to be winnowed away?

I read more of God’s words: “Regardless of how ‘powerful’ Satan is, regardless of how audacious and ambitious it is, regardless of how great is its ability to inflict damage, regardless of how wide-ranging are the techniques with which it corrupts and lures man, regardless of how clever are the tricks and schemes with which it intimidates man, regardless of how changeable is the form in which it exists, it has never been able to create a single living thing, has never been able to set down laws or rules for the existence of all things, and has never been able to rule and control any object, whether animate or inanimate. Within the cosmos and the firmament, there is not a single person or object that was born from it, or exists because of it; there is not a single person or object that is ruled by it, or controlled by it. On the contrary, it not only has to live under the dominion of God, but, moreover, must submit to all of God’s orders and commands. Without God’s permission, it is difficult for Satan to touch even a drop of water or grain of sand upon the land; without God’s permission, Satan is not even free to move the ants about upon the land, let alone mankind, who was created by God” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I). After reading the words of God, I understood that all things and events are held in God’s hands. However rampant Satan is, it does not dare to act willfully without God’s permission. I thought of Job’s experience. When Satan made a wager with God, God did not permit Satan to take Job’s life, so Satan did not dare act that way. It acts within the scope permitted by God, and does not dare to exceed this by even a hair’s breadth. I saw that I had not understood God’s sovereignty. I constantly felt that I would not be arrested if I hid at home, while I was at risk of arrest if I was working outside. When I needed to deliver several letters in a day or to go and water newcomers, I felt resistant in my heart. I felt that by always doing this I was in danger of being watched by the police and then arrested. After reading the words of God, I understood that even though I passed under the gaze of all kinds of surveillance cameras each day, the police would not be able to arrest me without God’s permission. I thought of a sister’s experience. The police had stopped her at a checkpoint and were about to arrest her. It looked like there was no way she could escape, but she smoothly slipped past right under their eyes. I had believed in God for many years, but did not have a real understanding of God’s almightiness, sovereignty, and authority. When faced with a dangerous environment, I wanted to dodge and hide to protect myself, like a turtle retreating into its shell. I had too little faith! As I pondered God’s words, my state improved somewhat. Later, when I went delivering letters again, I didn’t feel as afraid. I just wanted to deliver the letters as fast as possible so that the work of the church would not be delayed. When I had thoughts of timidity while going to water newcomers, I consciously prayed to God, and asked God to protect my heart so it could calm down. In my heart, I focused on pondering the words of God, combining them with the problems of the newcomers in my fellowship. The newcomers all said that they gained things from the gatherings; they were able to gather regularly again.

Later, I reflected on myself. Why did I always only consider my own safety as soon as I was faced with a dangerous environment? I read these words of God: “In the environment of mainland China, is it possible to avoid taking on any risks and to ensure nothing bad happens while doing one’s duty? Even the most cautious person can’t guarantee that. But caution is necessary. Being well-prepared in advance will improve things a little, and it can help to minimize losses when something does go wrong. If there’s no preparation at all, the losses will be substantial. Can you see the difference between these two situations clearly? Therefore, no matter if it’s regarding gatherings or the performance of any kind of duty, it’s best to be cautious, and it’s necessary to take some preventive measures. When a loyal person performs their duty they can think a bit more comprehensively and thoroughly. They want to arrange these things as well as they can so that if something goes wrong, the losses are minimized. They feel that they must achieve this result. Someone who lacks loyalty doesn’t consider these things. They think that these things don’t matter, and they don’t treat them as their responsibility or duty. When something goes wrong, they don’t feel any sense of blame. This is a manifestation of a lack of loyalty. Antichrists show no loyalty to God. When they are assigned work, they accept it quite happily, and make some nice declarations, but when danger comes, they run away the fastest; they are the first to run, the first to escape. This shows that their selfishness and despicableness are particularly severe. They have no sense of responsibility or loyalty at all. When faced with a problem, they only know how to flee and how to hide, and think only of protecting themselves, never considering their responsibilities or duties. For the sake of their own personal safety, antichrists consistently display their selfish and despicable nature. They do not prioritize the work of God’s house or their own duties. Even less do they prioritize the interests of God’s house. Instead, they prioritize their own safety” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Two)). God’s words expose how antichrists are particularly selfish and despicable. No matter what they are faced with, all they consider is their personal benefit. In particular, when they are faced with a dangerous environment, then as soon as there is the slightest hint of danger, the first thing they consider is their personal safety. They do not consider whether the work of the church will be damaged at all. I saw that the disposition I had revealed was the same as that of an antichrist. This time, many brothers and sisters had been arrested. The first thing I thought of was that I had been in contact with the people who had been arrested, and so there was a potential danger to my own safety. When the leaders arranged for me to deliver letters, I was afraid of being arrested and beaten to death by the police. Then in the future I would not have a good outcome or destination. I felt that I was putting myself in mortal danger by doing this duty: It involved too much risk. So I wanted to reject this duty. Later, even though I appeared to submit outwardly, I was forcing myself to do it. As soon as there was the slightest hint of danger I grew timid and afraid, and always wanted to hide away. I was fully aware that watering newcomers was part of my duty. However, due to being timid and afraid I could not calm my heart down and gather with the newcomers. This meant that the problems of the newcomers could not be resolved, and they lived in negativity, unwilling to attend gatherings. At every turn, I thought about my own safety and how to protect myself. I cast the work of the church and the life entry of my brothers and sisters to one side. I really had no humanity! I was so selfish and despicable! From deep in my heart, I felt remorseful. I was willing to let go of personal benefit, and fulfill my duty whether I was arrested or not. When I thought of this, my heart felt much calmer.

Later, I heard a constant stream of news about brothers and sisters being arrested, and my heart tensed up again. One of the brothers who was arrested knew about several gathering places. I had even taken him to a gathering place a few days before, and wasn’t sure if I had been seen and followed. I felt like I might be arrested at any time. If I were arrested, then even if I weren’t beaten to death I would die of illness in jail. I became more and more afraid as I thought about it, and wanted to hide away again. But then I had another thought, “If I leave, what will happen to the work here? I cannot live in a selfish and despicable way like an antichrist. I cannot ignore the work of the church in order to protect myself.” Although I was doing my duty on the outside, I was still timid and afraid in my heart. One time, during my devotional, I read these words of God: “In mainland China, God’s chosen people have all experienced the suppression and arrests of the great red dragon, and also experienced some temptations. No matter how many times they have been weak and failed, all those who are able to pursue the truth have gradually grown in stature and have had life entry. If they again encounter the environments and temptations they experienced in the past, they will have some faith. If their experience brings them to the point where one day they are unafraid of death, and can see clearly that the life and death of people are indeed in God’s hands and are orchestrated and arranged by God, doesn’t that mean their faith has become greater? Just like in the age of the Old Testament—why did the lions not bite Daniel when he was thrown into the lions’ den? It was because he had faith that God did not permit the lions to bite him. Then what was Daniel thinking in his heart? He did not complain about God. In his heart, he said: ‘God has thrown me into the lions’ den. I and the lions are both creations. If God permits them to eat me, then I should die. If God does not permit it, the lions will not eat me. That proves I should still live in God’s hands, and my lifespan is not yet over—I should not die. This is determined by the Creator.’ When Daniel encountered this matter, first, he did not deny God’s name; second, he had no suspicion toward what God did, did not make judgments, condemn, or rebel against God, and was able to submit to God’s arrangements. Satan was thus defeated and humiliated. So, what were Daniel’s actions and manifestations? They were testimony. Only when you have such stature will you encounter such trials. Even if God places you in the lions’ den, you will not be afraid, and the lions will not dare to eat you. This proves that you have true faith and that you have embarked upon the path of being made perfect. Life growth is exactly like this. Being thrown into the lions’ den is also a trial, just like Job’s immense wealth being taken away. What was Job’s manifestation? (Submission.) Why was he able to submit? It was because Job had no doubts about what God did. Whether God bestowed rewards or took away, it was fine for Job. Even if God gave one day and took away the next, Job still submitted. However God acted, it was fine for Job; he could let God orchestrate as He willed and submit to God. He was compatible with God. No matter how God acted, even if God toyed with him, he could still submit. … True belief contains true submission, and true submission gives rise to true belief. If you have true belief and can achieve true submission, what trial can defeat you? What environment can defeat you? None can defeat you. Even if you are thrown into the lions’ den, the lions will not dare to eat you. Isn’t this a good thing? (Yes.)” (God’s Fellowship). God’s words made me understand that if you believe in God in China, an atheist country, you cannot avoid arrest and persecution. However, no matter how dangerous the environment, if you can put your lives on the line, unafraid of death, this is having genuine faith in God. It is just like Daniel. He believed in God’s sovereignty and had faith in God. When he was thrown into the lions’ den, he did not complain to God. Whether he lived or died, he put himself at the mercy of God’s orchestration. God made us experience this persecution and tribulation so that through this our true faith in God could be made perfect. I should be like Daniel, and place my life or death in God’s hands. If God permitted me to be arrested by the police, then I would submit to God’s arrangements. If God did not permit me to be arrested, I was willing to do my duty well.

Later, I heard a church hymn, which really moved me.

Following Christ, I Will Never Turn Back, Even Unto Death

1  Satan, the great red dragon, madly oppresses and arrests God’s chosen people. Those who follow Christ risk their lives to do their duties. Someday I may be arrested and persecuted for testifying to God. In my heart, I understand clearly that this is persecution for the sake of righteousness. Perhaps my life will vanish like a fleeting firework. In this life, to follow and testify to Christ fills my heart with pride. Even if I cannot see the unprecedented spectacle of the kingdom’s expansion, I will have no regrets or complaints, and will offer my best wishes. Even if I cannot see the day the kingdom is realized, today, being able to bear witness to humiliate Satan is enough for me.

2  The Son of man of the last days expresses the truth, awakening countless hearts. I see God’s words are all the truth, so I follow Him. Someday I may be arrested and become a martyr for preaching the gospel, yet countless saints will carry forward the flame of the kingdom gospel. I don’t know how much longer I can walk on this path of preaching the gospel, but as long as I live, I will propagate God’s words and testify to Christ. I run only to follow God’s will and complete His commission. To offer my body and heart for testifying to Christ is my honor. No persecution or tribulation can crush me; the furnace’s blazing flames refine pure gold. In China, the land of the great red dragon, a group of overcomers emerges.

……

—Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs

I listened to this song on repeat. I was inspired, but also ashamed. My brothers and sisters were ready to sacrifice their lives to preach the gospel and bear testimony to God. Even if they ended up martyred, they would stand firm in their testimony. In contrast, I only faced some potential threats to my safety—nothing about sacrificing my life. But even so, I got so scared that I didn’t want to do my duties anymore. I was nothing compared to these brothers and sisters. I cared too much about my own skin! I thought about the disciples of the Age of Grace, who suffered so much persecution in order to bear testimony to the work of the Lord Jesus. However, they never stopped preaching the gospel or bearing testimony to God because they feared death. In the end, they were martyred for God. Although their flesh died, their souls didn’t die; they lived on in another way. Their testimony received God’s approval, and their deaths were valuable and significant. In contrast, the people who were timid, scared, and who cared only about saving their own skins turned Judas and betrayed God to preserve their own lives. Although they lived on for a time, their spirits, souls, and bodies were ultimately destroyed for all eternity. After understanding this, I was no longer timid and constrained by death. If one day I really were arrested, that would be a testimony I ought to bear. I would rather die than turn Judas and betray God. I thought of a passage of God’s words: “No matter what God asks of you, you need only work toward it with all your strength, and I hope you will be able to come before God and give Him your utmost devotion in the end. As long as you can see God’s gratified smile as He sits upon His throne, even if this moment is the appointed time of your death, you should be able to laugh and smile as you close your eyes” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Interpretations of the Mysteries of “God’s Words to the Entire Universe,” Chapter 41). No matter what environment I am faced with, I am a created being and should do my duty well. I must follow God and do my duty well even if I give my life for it. Later, I did my duty normally. I hurriedly notified the host families that the brother who had been arrested had been to, so they could move. No other brothers and sisters were implicated because of this. When some brothers and sisters were in a bad state because they were afraid of being arrested, I sought them out and fellowshipped with them. As more and more people accepted God’s work of the last days, the leaders asked me to water these newcomers. I actively cooperated.

Through this experience, I gained some understanding of God’s authority, and of my own selfish and despicable satanic nature. From the bottom of my heart, I thank Almighty God!