By Tracey, Myanmar

In September 2023, my brothers and sisters elected me to be a leader in the church, primarily responsible for the watering work. When I heard this news, I felt under a lot of pressure. I thought, “The work of the church involves many tasks. I’ve just started to train and don’t have any experience. If I go and follow up on the work of my brothers and sisters and there are some things I can’t handle, what will they think of me? Will they say I lack reason, that I follow up on other people’s work without knowing how to do it myself?” Because I didn’t want them to find out my deficiencies and look down on me, I refused the duty of a leader. I said to the supervisor, “It’s better that I work hard at my current duty.” The supervisor met and fellowshipped with me, “Your demands of yourself are too high. Everyone has deficiencies, and it is very normal that there are some shortcomings in our work. God’s requirements of us are not that high. What God values is our attitude toward our duty, and He looks at whether we put all our effort into our work.” When I heard what the supervisor said, I thought that he was right. Everyone has deficiencies and shortcomings, so that’s why we all need to train and study more. I should not have refused this duty. Afterward, I reflected on myself. Why did I keep trying to refuse when this duty called?

One day during devotionals, I read a passage of God’s words: “If you wish to give all your loyalty in all things to satisfy God’s intentions, you cannot do it by just performing one duty; you must accept any commission God bestows upon you. Whether it is to your tastes and matches your interests, or is something you do not enjoy, have never done before, or is difficult, you should still accept it and submit. Not only must you accept it, but you must also proactively cooperate, and learn about it, while experiencing and entering. Even if you suffer hardship, are tired, humiliated, or are ostracized, you must still give it all your loyalty. Only by practicing in this way will you be able to give all your loyalty in all things and satisfy God’s intentions. You must regard it as your duty to perform, not as personal business. How should you understand duties? As something that the Creator—God—gives someone to do; this is how people’s duties come about. The commission that God gives you is your duty, and it is perfectly natural and justified that you perform your duty as God demands. If it is clear to you that this duty is God’s commission, and that this is God’s love and God’s blessing coming upon you, then you will be able to accept your duty with a God-loving heart, and you will be able to be considerate of God’s intentions as you perform your duty, and you will be able to overcome all difficulties to satisfy God. Those who truly expend themselves for God could never refuse God’s commission; they could never refuse any duty. No matter what duty God entrusts you with, regardless of what difficulties it entails, you should not refuse it, but accept it. This is the path of practice, which is to practice the truth and give all your loyalty in all things, in order to satisfy God. What is the focus here? It is on the words ‘in all things.’ ‘All things’ does not necessarily mean things that you like or are good at, much less things with which you are familiar. Sometimes they will be things you are not good at, things you need to learn, things which are difficult, or things where you must suffer. However, regardless of what thing it is, as long as God has entrusted you with it, you must accept it from Him; you must accept it and perform the duty well, giving it all your loyalty and satisfying God’s intentions. This is the path of practice. No matter what happens, you must always seek the truth, and once you are certain what sort of practice is in line with God’s intentions, that is how you should practice. Only by doing this are you practicing the truth, and only in this way can you enter the truth reality” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). From God’s words I understood that to satisfy God’s intentions, we must accept any duty that comes from God. The duty that calls on us may be one that we have never done before, so we must put in time and effort to learn it, and our flesh needs to suffer more. Or our pride may be hurt because of our deficiencies, but no matter what, we must have a simple and obedient heart. This is the attitude toward duty that a created being should have. I looked at myself in comparison. When I found out I had been elected as a leader in the church, I knew that leaders need to follow up on the various items of work in the church, but I was deficient in all regards, so I worried that if I ran into some problems I didn’t know how to handle while following up on the work, and could not point out a solution to my brothers and sisters, everyone would be sure to look down on me and say I was incompetent. Therefore, I found excuses to say that I didn’t know how to do many tasks and wouldn’t be up to the job. When this duty called, I didn’t think of how to show consideration for God’s intentions and shoulder my duty; instead, I wanted to decline it so people wouldn’t look down on me. I didn’t protect the work of the church at all. I was especially selfish and despicable. God graced me by letting me do the duty of a leader. This was a great opportunity to gain the truth, and I should do my duty well with a proactive and positive attitude. When I understood this, I was willing to turn my incorrect mindset around. Although I had so many deficiencies and shortcomings, I was willing to learn from my brothers and sisters. Therefore, I told the supervisor that I was willing to train to be a leader.

Afterward, I read the words of God: “The first type was those who can be supervisors of the various items of work. The first requirement for them is that they have the ability and caliber to comprehend the truth. This is the minimum requirement. The second requirement is that they carry a burden—this is indispensable” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (5)). “Some people may ask: ‘How come the criteria that talented people should meet in order to be promoted and cultivated don’t include understanding the truth, possessing the truth reality, and being able to fear God and shun evil? How come they don’t include being able to know God, being able to submit to God, being loyal to God, and being a created being that is up to standard? Have these things been left behind?’ Tell Me, if someone understands the truth and has entered the truth reality, and is able to submit to God, and is loyal to God, and has a God-fearing heart, and moreover, knows God, will not resist Him, and is a created being that is up to standard, do they still need to be cultivated? If they truly have achieved all this, isn’t the result of cultivation already accomplished? (Yes.) Therefore, the requirements for talented people to be promoted and cultivated don’t include these criteria. Because candidates are promoted and cultivated from among human beings who do not understand the truth and who are full of corrupt dispositions, it is therefore impossible for these candidates who are being promoted and cultivated to already have the truth reality, or to already fully submit to God, let alone to already be absolutely loyal to God, and they are certainly further still from knowing God and having a God-fearing heart. The criteria that all kinds of talented people should meet above all in order to be promoted and cultivated are the ones we just mentioned—these are the most realistic and specific ones” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (5)). “Tell Me, how can you be people who are ordinary and normal? How can you, as God says, assume the proper place of a created being—how can you not try to be a superman, or some great figure? How should you practice to be an ordinary and normal person? How can this be done? Who will answer? (First of all, we have to admit that we are ordinary people, very commonplace people. There are many things we don’t understand, don’t comprehend, and can’t see through. We must admit that we are corrupt and flawed. After that, we have to have a sincere heart and come often before God to seek.) Firstly, don’t give yourself a title and become bound by it, saying, ‘I am the leader, I am the head of the team, I am the supervisor, no one knows this business better than me, no one understands the skills more than me.’ Don’t get caught up in your self-appointed title. As soon as you do, it will bind your hands and feet, and what you say and do will be affected. Your normal thinking and judgment will also be affected. You must free yourself from the constraints of this status. First, lower yourself from this official title and position and stand in the place of an ordinary person. If you do, your mentality will become somewhat normal. You must also admit and say, ‘I don’t know how to do this, and I don’t understand that, either—I’m going to have to do some research and studying,’ or ‘I’ve never experienced this, so I don’t know what to do.’ When you are capable of saying what you’re really thinking and speaking honestly, you will be possessed of normal reason. Others will know the real you, and will thus have a normal view of you, and you will not have to put on an act, nor will there be any great pressure on you, and so you will be able to communicate with people normally. Living like this is free and easy; anyone who finds living exhausting has caused this themselves. Don’t pretend or put up a front. First, open up about what you’re thinking in your heart, about your true thoughts, so that everyone is aware of them and understands them. As a result, your concerns and the barriers and suspicions between you and others will all be eliminated. You’re also hobbled by something else. You always consider yourself the head of the team, a leader, a worker, or someone with a title, status, and standing: If you say you don’t understand something, or can’t do something, are you not denigrating yourself? When you put aside these fetters in your heart, when you stop thinking of yourself as a leader or a worker, and when you stop thinking that you’re better than other people and feel that you are an ordinary person, the same as everyone else, and that there are some areas in which you are inferior to others—when you fellowship the truth and work-related matters with this attitude, the effect is different, as is the atmosphere” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Treasuring God’s Words Is the Foundation of Belief in God). From God’s words, I understood the principles of the house of God in promoting and cultivating people. It is not the case that only people who have the truth reality or can do all the various items of work can be promoted and cultivated to be leaders. Instead, as long as you have the ability to comprehend the truth, have decent humanity, bear a burden in doing your duty, and are willing to learn even if you have no experience, you can be cultivated. In addition, if you are elected to be a leader, you must not put yourself on a pedestal, and you should put yourself in the correct position and admit that you are just an ordinary person, and that whatever the work, you were not born being able to do it; when you encounter things you don’t know how to do or don’t understand, you can seek from your brothers and sisters. I remembered that when I first started training to water newcomers, I didn’t know how to do the work, but at the time I realized that watering newcomers is training in how to use the truth to resolve problems, which was beneficial to my life entry, and so I had the motivation to do my duty well. When I trained together with my brothers and sisters, bit by bit, after a while I was also able to solve some problems. I realized that no matter what the work is, it is not the case that you can only do it once you know how to do it and understand it; you always need to undergo a process of study and training. However, I was governed by my arrogant disposition, and thought that if I was a leader in the church, then I had to understand more than others and be better at the work than others. Only in this way would I be qualified to go and follow up on the work of other people. I also thought that if I couldn’t do it or didn’t understand it myself, then other people would definitely look down on me, and so I refused the duty. I didn’t know the true measure of myself. I was too lacking in reason! Actually, God’s requirements of us are not high— merely to be ordinary people and calmly face our shortcomings, to actively seek help from brothers and sisters in regard to things we don’t understand, and to seek the truth to compensate for our deficiencies. If we train gradually in this way, our progress will be faster. Once I understood this, I was willing to let go of the fallacious view that “I’m a leader, I have to be better than others and understand more than others,” and practice being an honest person. I accepted the duty of a leader from deep in my heart.

To start off with, I was only responsible for the church that I was in. I was relatively familiar with the personnel and work of the church, but not long after, the supervisor asked me to take on responsibility for the work of several more churches. I thought to myself, “The work capability of the brothers and sisters in these churches is very good. They have believed in God for longer than me. I am not as good as them. If I can’t do lots of things when I follow up on their work, what will they think of me? Will they look down on me?” I sent a message to the supervisor saying that I wasn’t up to it and couldn’t do it. The supervisor asked me to try training and see. Later I remembered a passage of God’s words I had read before: “For all who perform a duty, no matter how profound or shallow their understanding of the truth is, the simplest way to practice entering into the truth reality is to think of the interests of God’s house in everything, and to let go of one’s selfish desires, personal intents, motives, pride, and status. Put the interests of God’s house first—this is the least one should do. If a person who performs a duty cannot even do this much, then how can they be said to be performing their duty? That is not performing one’s duty. You should first think of the interests of God’s house, be considerate of God’s intentions, and consider the work of the church. Put these things first and foremost; only after that can you think about the stability of your status or how others regard you. Do you not feel that this becomes a little easier when you divide it into two steps and make some compromises? If you practice like this for a while, you will come to feel that satisfying God is not such a difficult thing. Furthermore, you should be able to fulfill your responsibilities, perform your obligations and duty, and set aside your selfish desires, intents, and motives; you should show consideration for God’s intentions, and put the interests of God’s house, the work of the church, and the duty that you are supposed to perform first. After experiencing this for a while, you will feel that this is a good way to comport yourself. It is living straightforwardly and honestly, and not being a base, vile person; it is living justly and honorably rather than being despicable, base, and a good-for-nothing. You will feel that this is how a person should act and the image that they should live out. Gradually, your desire to satisfy your own interests will lessen” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). While pondering God’s words, I understood that in order to do my duty well I had to let go of my own pride and status, and prioritize the interests of the house of God at every turn. Only this would satisfy God. This duty calling upon me was God exalting me, prompting me to seek the truth more and walk the path of pursuing the truth. I thought of how tense the situation in Myanmar is, with constant war. I didn’t know how long I would be able to do my duty. Now that I had the chance to do a duty, I should cherish it carefully, and I couldn’t decline it because I was worried about what others would think of me. No matter what problems would be exposed in my duty next, I should calmly face up to my own shortcomings. When I thought about it this way, my heart felt a bit more at ease. One day, I met the brother and sister I was working with and discussed the upcoming work. I opened up to the two of them and said, “I have many deficiencies and can’t do a lot of the tasks, so we need to work together.” As I opened my mouth to say this, my face was bright red. Although I felt that I had lost some face, my heart felt very at ease after admitting my own deficiencies to them and speaking from the heart. My brother and sister didn’t look down on me, and were willing to work together with me to do the work well.

One day, I read another passage of God’s words, and gained some understanding of the root cause of me refusing my duty. Almighty God says: “Instead of searching for the truth, most people have their own petty agendas. Their own interests, face, and the place or standing they hold in other people’s minds are of great importance to them. These are the only things they cherish. They cling to these things with an iron grip and regard them as their very lives. And how they are viewed or treated by God is of secondary importance; for the moment, they ignore that; for the moment, they only consider whether they are the boss of the group, whether other people look up to them, and whether their words carry weight. Their first concern is with occupying that position. When they are in a group, almost all people look for this kind of standing, these kinds of opportunities. When they’re highly talented, of course they want to be top dog; if they are of middling ability, they’ll still want to hold a higher position in the group; and if they hold a low position in the group, being of average caliber and abilities, they, too, will want others to look up to them, they won’t want others to look down on them. These people’s face and dignity are where they draw the line: They have to hold on to these things. They could have no integrity, and be possessed of neither God’s approval nor acceptance, but they absolutely cannot lose the respect, status, or esteem they have strived for among others—which is the disposition of Satan. But people have no awareness of this. It is their belief that they must cling to this scrap of face to the very end. They are not aware that only when these vain and superficial things are completely relinquished and put aside will they become a real person. If a person guards these things that should be discarded as life, their life is lost. They do not know what is at stake. And so, when they act, they always hold something back, they always try to protect their own face and status, they put these first, speaking only for their own ends, to their own spurious defense. Everything they do is for themselves. They rush to anything that shines, letting everyone know they were a part of it. It didn’t actually have anything to do with them, but they never want to be left in the background, they’re always afraid of other people looking down on them, they’re always fearful of other people saying they’re nothing, that they are incapable of anything, that they have no skills. Is this all not directed by their satanic dispositions? When you are able to let go of things like face and status, you will be much more relaxed and freer; you will have set foot on the path to being honest. But for many, this is not easy to achieve. When the camera appears, for example, people scramble to the front; they like having their face on camera, the more coverage the better; they’re afraid of not getting enough coverage, and will pay any price for the chance to get it. And is this not all directed by their satanic dispositions? These are their satanic dispositions. So you get coverage—what then? People think highly of you—so what? They idolize you—so what? Does any of this prove you have the truth reality? None of this has any value. When you can overcome these things—when you become indifferent to them, and no longer feel them important, when face, vanity, status, and people’s admiration no longer control your thoughts and behavior, much less how you perform your duty—then your performance of your duty will become ever more effective, and ever more pure” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). After reading the words of God, I understood that people all treasure status, and they consider their own reputation and status at every turn in everything they do. I thought back to the start, when I had been elected as a leader in the church. Because I had just started training and had many deficiencies, I was afraid that if I followed up on the work of my brothers and sisters while there were many things I didn’t know how to do, I would appear really incompetent. So that people wouldn’t look down on me, I refused my duty again and again. That I was able to train to be a leader was God’s exaltation of me. God hoped that I could embark on the path of pursuing the truth and gradually resolve my own corrupt dispositions. However, I didn’t appreciate the favor and kept trying to decline my duty in order to protect my face. This was rebelling against God. Through these years, I had enjoyed the watering and provision of so many of God’s words, but when the work of the church required me to do it, I didn’t think about how to fulfill my responsibilities or how to repay God’s grace. I truly was too lacking in humanity! Actually, ever since I became a leader, I gradually equipped myself with some truths in the area of discernment, and trained to use the truth to resolve problems. As a leader, I experienced many things and had many opportunities to obtain the truth. All these were real gains! If I didn’t serve as a leader and didn’t follow up on the work of others, then my own deficiencies wouldn’t be exposed and I would save face. However, I wouldn’t ultimately obtain the truth and my dispositions wouldn’t change. Would it not be all empty in the end? Ultimately, I would only lose my chance of salvation and ruin myself. It is scary to think about. Later, I was able to do my duty normally without being so constrained by face.

Once, I went to a church to attend one of their gatherings. A sister expressed clear ideas in communicating about the work, and I wanted to add to them. However, because I felt that my sister had spoken so well and so comprehensively, I didn’t say anything. I thought to myself, “If I come here and don’t give a bit of advice, what will my brothers and sisters think of me? Will they not think I’m really useless and lacking in any work capability?” When I thought this, I felt a bit embarrassed, and thought that my brothers and sisters had certainly seen through me. So I didn’t want to attend their gatherings anymore. During those days, I didn’t follow up on or learn about their work. At the time, I felt somewhat self-reproachful, “I didn’t follow up on the work because I was afraid of the brothers and sisters looking down on me. Isn’t this a dereliction of duty? If I don’t follow up on the work for a long time, I will definitely lose this duty, and lose many opportunities to obtain the truth. I cannot constantly consider what other people think of me. However highly people esteem me, it is of no use. The key thing is what God thinks of me and that is most important.” Therefore, I let go of my pride and went to follow up on the work. Later, I made a plan for myself, outlining which churches I would follow up on in one week and what aspects of the work I would follow up on. To start off with, I was very nervous. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to express myself well and my brothers and sisters would look down on me. Whenever this happened, I would calm down and pray to God, asking God to keep me from being constrained by face. When I corrected my mindset, I was able to calm my heart and follow up on the work normally. In addition, through following up on the work, I discovered that the brothers and sisters all had some strengths, and through these I was able to make up for my weaknesses. Sometimes, if I ran into a problem that I couldn’t penetrate when following up on the work, I would bring it up with them directly, “I still can’t penetrate this problem, so I’ll seek later.” By practicing in this way, my heart felt very at ease. That I was able to gain this slight understanding and attain this small change is a result achieved by the words of God. Thank God!