By Su Yan, China

When I was young, my family was poor and I was often bullied by those around me and looked down upon and given the cold shoulder by relatives and friends. So I made a resolution that when I grew up, I would become a person of wealth and renown, so that people would respect and look up to me. In 2000, the pharmaceutical company where my husband and I worked went bankrupt, and so we subsequently opened two pharmacies. At first, we ran the business honestly, and since I was a licensed pharmacist with some knowledge of pharmacology, most of the medications I prepared were effective for our customers, and they trusted me. But after a while, I noticed that despite working hard every day, we were earning very little, while our peers were making more and more money, and that not only did they own houses and cars, but they also bought storefronts. I knew their money came from improper means, but I didn’t want to follow them in making money unethically. However, over time, tempted by money, we started to learn from our peers, using deceitful methods to earn money, such as mixing inexpensive medical ingredients with expensive ones and selling them together, and customers would see some effects after taking them. This not only let us keep our customers but also allowed us to make more money. At times, my conscience was troubled, but when I thought about how everyone else was doing the same, I thought that if we ran our business by the book, we wouldn’t make any money, so we just went with the flow. I also thought that as long as I made more money, my son wouldn’t have to worry about college or marriage, my husband and I would be supported and secure in the second half of our lives, and I’d also come to be considered a person of success and renown. After a few years of hard work, both our pharmacies slowly started to prosper, and we bought a house and a car, and built up some savings. People around us, including relatives and friends, started to look up to and envy me, and my vanity was greatly satisfied.

Just as I was immersed in dreams of wealth, something unexpected occurred. In September 2012, my husband, friend, and I were invited to a birthday party, but unexpectedly, we got into a car accident on the way, resulting in one death and three injuries. Not only was my husband injured and hospitalized, but since he was the driver, our family had to pay a large compensation. This sudden misfortune caused me great pain, and I almost broke down mentally. At this time, someone shared the gospel of Almighty God of the last days with me. Through reading God’s words, I came to know that human beings are created by God, and that our fate is controlled and governed by Him. I also understood that only by coming before God and accepting His salvation can a person have true happiness and joy. Gradually, my heart stopped feeling so pained, and I became willing to entrust these difficulties into God’s hands. Unexpectedly, my husband was discharged from the hospital quickly, and in the end, our family didn’t have to pay much in compensation. I was deeply grateful to God. Later, I read God’s words: “Christ of the last days brings life, and brings the enduring and everlasting way of truth. This truth is the path by which man gains life, and it is the only path by which man shall know God and be approved by God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Christ of the Last Days Can Give Man the Way of Eternal Life). In the last days, God expresses the truth to cleanse and save humanity, to free people from Satan’s dark power and give them eternal life, and to bring them into God’s kingdom. This is the only opportunity for humans to be saved. I felt so lucky to have been able to come before God in this life and accept His salvation, and I made up my mind to follow God properly in this life.

At that time, I attended to our businesses during the day and went to gatherings at night, and when I had time, I would also go preach the gospel. In 2014, I was chosen as a watering deacon. I knew this duty was important and wanted to do it well, but the pharmacy opened early every day, and sometimes I was so busy that I couldn’t even get around to my devotionals, and usually, I’d barely have any time to quiet myself before God and diligently read His words. When gathering with brothers and sisters, I would just read God’s words and fellowship some words and doctrines, but this wasn’t very helpful or edifying for others. Sometimes, I was so busy with our businesses that I delayed gatherings, and I’d feel a deep sense of guilt and unease inside. I thought of God’s words: “When your hearts are filled with joy, and you are rewarded for your labors, do you not feel disheartened at not having furnished yourselves with sufficient truth?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. To Whom Are You Loyal?). I also read that God’s word says: “It is not Me who is in your thoughts at each and every moment, nor the truth that comes from Me, but rather your husband or wife, your sons, daughters, and the things you eat and wear. You think of how you can gain ever greater, ever higher enjoyment. But even when you have filled your stomach to bursting, are you still not a corpse? Even when, outwardly, you adorn yourselves in such beautiful apparel, are you not still a walking corpse devoid of life? You toil for the sake of your stomach, until your hair is streaked with gray, yet none of you sacrifice a single hair for My work. You are constantly on the go, taxing your body and racking your brain, for the sake of your own flesh, and for your sons and daughters—yet not one of you shows any worry or concern for My intentions. What is it that you still hope to gain from Me?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Many Are Called, but Few Are Chosen). Reflecting on God’s words, I felt very guilty and a deep sense of accusation. Every day I was busy making money, and sometimes my devotionals and attendance at gatherings were irregular, and I couldn’t properly water my brothers and sisters. This not only delayed my own pursuit of the truth but also hindered the life entry of my brothers and sisters. Now the gospel of God’s kingdom is rapidly spreading, and more people are needed to preach the gospel and bear witness to God. I should focus my heart on my duty, and contribute some of my efforts to the work of the gospel, but I had been enjoying God’s watering and provision while failing to do my duty, and I was still concerned with my future, fame, and gain. I put in so much effort to make money but failed to consider God’s intentions. I truly owed God so much! After much consideration, I decided to transfer one of the pharmacies. Although my income would be reduced, I would have more time to pursue the truth and do my duty. But my husband absolutely disagreed. Also, at that time, the National Pharmaceutical Supervision Administration introduced new regulations, meaning that only licensed pharmacists could open pharmacies, and in our county, out of over a hundred pharmacies, only a few had the qualifications required to run, and we owned two of them. This meant that as our competitors dwindled, our business would keep getting better and better. Many of our peers envied us, and my husband was thrilled, telling me, “With two pharmacies, we can earn at least 400,000 yuan a year!” Hearing him say this made my heart stir, and I thought, “We’ve worked hard over all these years to earn a small amount of money, and now we’ve got a great opportunity to make big money. If we keep this up for a few more years, we’ll make a fortune. Maybe I’ll just wait and make some more money before devoting myself to my duty full-time.” So, I continued running the pharmacy while doing my duty. But business at our pharmacies got busier and busier, and sometimes just when I was about to go to a gathering, a customer would insist on me preparing their medicine, making me late for the gathering. Even when I stayed home and didn’t go to the pharmacy, customers would still call or contact me for medication or medical advice, disturbing me, throwing my thoughts into turmoil, and preventing me from quietly reading God’s words. Another time, I had arranged to go preach the gospel with my brothers and sisters, but I couldn’t go because there was an urgent matter at the pharmacy. Every time I delayed a gathering or failed to do my duty, I felt very guilty. Every day I was busy with business, and I had no time to pursue the truth or do my duty. If this continued, my heart would drift further and further from God. I still wanted to transfer one of the pharmacies, but my husband disagreed and started obstructing me in my faith, even threatening to divorce me if I continued believing in God. This left me feeling very conflicted. Just when I was feeling torn, something unexpected happened, which made me finally start to reflect.

My husband was suddenly possessed by a demon for several days due to his worship of evil spirits. Seeing his abnormal state, I was terrified. I read God’s words: “On earth, all manner of evil spirits are forever on the prowl for a place to rest, and are endlessly searching for human corpses that can be consumed. My people! You must remain within My care and protection. Never be dissolute! Never behave recklessly! You should offer up your loyalty in My house, and only with loyalty can you mount a countercharge against the trickery of devils. Under no circumstances should you behave as you did in the past, doing one thing in front of Me and another behind My back; if you act this way, then you are already beyond redemption. Have I not uttered more than enough words such as these?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Words to the Entire Universe, Chapter 10). My husband didn’t believe in the true God, and worshiped evil spirits as gods. As a result, he was tormented by Satan and evil spirits. Though I believed in the true God, I was still living under Satan’s power. I was pursuing worldly things and living bound by money. I didn’t properly read God’s words, and couldn’t fulfill my duty. If I carried on like this, I would drift further away from God, and once I lost God’s protection, I could be taken by Satan at any moment. My husband’s situation served as a warning to me; I could no longer remain so stubbornly deluded. During that time, a deputy director of the tax bureau I knew was diagnosed with cancer at a young age. He had a lot of money and was highly regarded by many, but when faced with death, no amount of money or renown could help him. At that moment, I asked myself, “What is really the purpose of life? Is it just to live for money? What use are money and renown in the face of death? In the end, aren’t we all left empty-handed as we leave this world behind?”

Later, I read some more of God’s words, and I gained a clearer understanding of the root of pursuing money, fame, and gain. Almighty God says: “‘Money makes the world go round’ is a philosophy of Satan. It prevails among the whole of mankind, in every human society; you could say it is a trend. This is because it has been instilled in the heart of every single person, who at first did not accept this saying, but then gave it tacit acceptance when they came into contact with real life, and began to feel that these words were in fact true. Is this not a process of Satan corrupting man? … Satan uses money to tempt people, and corrupts them into worshiping money and venerating material things. And how is this worship of money manifested in people? Do you feel that you could not survive in this world without any money, that even one day without money would be impossible? People’s status is based on how much money they have, as is the respect they command. The backs of the poor are bent in shame, while the rich enjoy their high status. They stand tall and proud, speaking loudly and living arrogantly. What does this saying and trend bring to people? Is it not true that many people make any sacrifice in the pursuit of money? Do many people not lose their dignity and integrity in the pursuit of more money? Do many people not lose the opportunity to perform their duty and follow God for the sake of money? Is losing the chance to gain the truth and be saved not the greatest of all losses for people? Is Satan not sinister to use this method and this saying to corrupt man to such a degree? Is this not a malicious trick?” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique V). “People spend their lives chasing after money and fame; they clutch at these straws, thinking they are their only means of support, as if by having them they could live on, exempt from death. But only when they are about to die do they realize how distant these things are from them, how weak they are in the face of death, how easily they shatter, how lonely and helpless they are, with nowhere to turn. They realize that life cannot be bought with money or fame, that no matter how wealthy a person may be, no matter how lofty their position, all are equally poor and insignificant in the face of death. They realize that money cannot buy life, that fame cannot erase death, that neither money nor fame can lengthen a person’s life by a single minute, a single second” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). From God’s words I came to understand that from a young age, I had been inculcated with numerous satanic poisons such as “Money makes the world go round,” “Man dies for wealth as birds do for food,” and “One must endure the greatest hardships in order to become the greatest of men.” I thought that with money, you had everything, and that you could gain the admiration and respect of others, and live a happy and content life. I thought this was the kind of life that had meaning and value, so I wanted to get rich and become a person of wealth and renown. I treated money, fame, and gain as my lifeblood, reliance, and security in life. But what had money, fame, and gain really brought me? Were they truly my reliance and security? Had they brought me true joy and peace? Over the years, I’d done everything I could to make money. I even resorted to deceiving customers to earn dishonest money in spite of my conscience. But when I made money, and my vanity was satisfied, I finally realized that having these things didn’t relieve the emptiness and pain deep in my heart, much less help me achieve the happiness and joy I desired. Instead, this made my conscience uneasy. Especially in that car accident, if it weren’t for God’s protection, our family wouldn’t have known how to carry on living, and I fear I would have died a sudden and premature death. I realized that money, fame, and gain cannot buy life, nor can they bring peace and security, and that they are not my true reliance, as only God is my true reliance. But I still clung tightly to money, fame, and gain. Money, fame, and gain were like shackles binding me. I clearly saw God’s salvation, and understood a little of the value and meaning of pursuing the truth, but I still wanted to believe in God while pursuing wealth. I was truly foolish! I thought of what the Lord Jesus said: “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon” (Matthew 6:24). “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26). In the past few years I’d believed in God, I’d spent a lot of time and energy on making money, and up to this point, I hadn’t understood much of the truth or had any life entry. If I continued like this, no matter how much money I made, and no matter how great the fleshly pleasure I enjoyed or the reputation I gained, if I didn’t gain the truth, in the end, I’d gain nothing. If I lost the opportunity to be saved by God because of my desire to make money, and I ruined my life, wouldn’t I be lacking in foresight and sacrificing my future for paltry short-term gains? I saw that so-called words of wisdom like “Money is first” and “Money makes the world go round” are Satan’s lies and devilish words that mislead and corrupt people, and that they are traps that lure people to distance themselves from and betray God, leading them into hell. These are Satan’s schemes to devour people’s souls! Satan’s intentions are so insidious and malicious!

I then read God’s words: “Is the world really your place of rest? Can you really, by avoiding My chastisement, attain the faintest smile of gratification from the world? Can you truly use your fleeting enjoyment to cover up the emptiness in your heart, the emptiness that cannot be concealed? You might be able to fool everyone in your family, but you can never fool Me. Because your faith is too meager, you are still, to this day, powerless to find any of the delights life has to offer. I urge you: better to sincerely spend half your life for My sake than your whole life in mediocrity and busywork for the flesh, enduring all the suffering a man can hardly bear. What purpose does it serve to treasure yourself so much and flee from My chastisement? What purpose does it serve to hide yourself from My momentary chastisement only to reap an eternity of embarrassment, an eternity of chastisement?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. What It Means to Be a Real Person). “God seeks those who long for Him to appear. He seeks those who are able to hear His words, those who have not forgotten His commission and offer up their hearts and bodies to Him. He seeks those who are as submissive as babes before Him and do not resist Him. If you devote yourself to God, unimpeded by any power or force, then God shall look upon you with favor and shall bestow His blessings upon you. If you are of high station, of honorable reputation, possessed of abundant knowledge, the owner of plentiful assets, and supported by many people, yet these things do not prevent you from coming before God to accept His calling and His commission and to do what God asks of you, then all that you do shall be the most meaningful cause on earth and the most just undertaking of mankind. If you reject the call of God for the sake of status and your own goals, all that you do shall be cursed and even despised by God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Appendix 2: God Presides Over the Fate of All Mankind). God’s words deeply moved and encouraged me. God predestined me to be born in the last days not just to provide for my family, nor just to bear children, but to come before God to accept His salvation, to know God’s sovereignty and submit to Him, to fulfill the responsibilities of a created being, to perform the duties of a created being, and to pursue the truth and live a meaningful and valuable life. This is the goal and direction of my life. Now God’s work is nearly finished, and God hopes that more people will come before Him to accept His salvation. Therefore, I should lay down my worldly pursuits and do my duty, and in doing my duty, pursue the truth to achieve salvation from God. This is the most meaningful life. Thinking of this, I decided to give up my business and devote myself to my duty full-time. I would no longer work myself to the bone for money, fame, or gain.

When my husband heard that I was planning to transfer a pharmacy, he flew into a rage, threatening to divorce me and even saying he would report me for believing in God. I thought about how the CCP tortures and even kills those who believe in God without repercussions, and I felt a little scared and weak. I prayed to God in my heart, asking Him to give me faith and strength. After praying, I thought about how God is sovereign over everything, and that matters such as whether my husband reported me or if the police came after me were all in God’s hands. With God as my backing, I no longer felt afraid. Seeing that I refused to compromise, my husband called my parents and asked them to convince me. My father angrily said to me, “Why would you give up a good business and turn down easy money just to believe in God? Are you crazy?” My mother said with tears, “If you stop making money, what will happen to your son? Do you not care about our retirement money?” My husband started using both soft and hard tactics, saying, “If you don’t consider yourself, at least consider our son. He’s still young, and in the future, he’ll need money for college, marriage, and a house. There will be all kinds of things that money’s going to be needed for. As long as we make money for our son’s education, marriage, and house, I won’t stop you from believing in God.” After hearing them say these things, I felt a bit shaken, and I thought, “They’ve got a point. It’s a hard world out there, and competition is becoming more and more intense. My son’s going to need a lot of money for his education, marriage, and house. Should I listen to my husband and keep at our business for another year or two to make more money for my son?” I felt really pained and conflicted, so I called out to God, asking Him to protect my heart.

Later, I read God’s words: “If you are determined to fully break with Satan, but are not equipped with effective weapons to defeat Satan, then you will still be in danger. As time goes on, when you have been so tortured by Satan that there is not an ounce of strength left in you, yet you have still been unable to bear testimony, have still not completely freed yourself of Satan’s accusations and attacks against you, then you will have little hope of salvation. In the end, when the conclusion of God’s work is proclaimed, you will still be in the grip of Satan, unable to free yourself, and thus you will never have a chance or hope. The implication, then, is that such people will be completely in Satan’s captivity” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself II). God’s words awakened me in time. Satan wanted to use my concern for my son to keep me trapped in the pursuit of money, wishing for me to become a slave to money, and unable to escape this vortex. If I carried on like this, when God’s work ends, I would have gained no truth, and I would end up in hell along with Satan. I almost fell into Satan’s trap! My husband threatened to divorce me to prevent me from doing my duty, and he even wanted to report me. His goal was to keep me at home to make money, and if I couldn’t make money for him, he wanted to hand me over to the CCP’s persecution. How was there any marital love in that? He simply treated me as a tool to make money. I realized that my husband and I were not of the same kind, nor were we on the same path. If he wanted to divorce me, it’d actually be a good thing for me, because having been freed from the constraints of family, I’d be able to believe in God freely. Then I thought, “I want to earn more money for my son so that he would have a good life in the future, but in this, I’m not believing that a person’s fate is in God’s hands. God has already predestined my son’s future, and no matter how much money I earn, I cannot change his destiny. I can only entrust my parents and son into God’s hands and submit to all His arrangements. This is the wisest choice.” Thinking of this, I made up my mind. No matter how my husband persecuted or obstructed me, I would stand firm in my testimony.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “Man must pursue to live out a life of meaning, and should not be satisfied with his current circumstances. To live out the image of Peter, he must possess the knowledge and experiences of Peter. Man must pursue things that are higher and more profound. He must pursue a deeper, purer love of God, and a life that has value and meaning. Only this is life; only then will man be the same as Peter. … You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must sacrifice yourself for the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. You must not throw away the truth for the sake of the enjoyment of a harmonious family life, and you must not lose a lifetime of dignity and integrity for the sake of momentary enjoyment. You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and you should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful. If you lead such a vulgar life, and do not pursue any objectives, do you not waste your life? What can you gain from such a life? You should forsake all enjoyments of the flesh for the sake of one truth, and should not throw away all truths for the sake of a little enjoyment. People like this have no integrity or dignity; there is no meaning to their existence!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). After reading this passage of God’s words, I was deeply moved. In the last days, God has expressed all the truth that saves people. Only those who gain the truth can receive God’s care and protection, and survive the great catastrophes. If I remained trapped in the mire of money, fame, and gain, and couldn’t escape, I would lose my chance to be saved! I had to earnestly pursue the truth, seek a change in my disposition, and fulfill my duty as a created being. Although I’d not understood much truth over these years, I gained some understanding of my corrupt disposition through the exposure of God’s words, and I also saw the consequences of pursuing money, fame, and gain. These gains cannot be bought with any amount of money. A change in disposition is not something that can happen overnight, and it requires experiencing much of God’s judgment and chastisement to achieve. I had to seize this time to pursue so that I could gain the truth and life. So I stated my position to my husband and parents. I said, “God is the Lord of creation, and we are all created beings. Believing in God and worshiping God is perfectly natural and justified. If you don’t believe in God, that’s your choice, but you mustn’t stand in the way of me believing in God and doing my duty.” Seeing my firm attitude, my family said nothing more. By God’s wonderful arrangements, the pharmacy was soon transferred successfully, and I was finally able to dedicate myself to the performance of my duty full-time. Thank God!