By Lin Wei, China

In June 2021, I was elected as a preacher. At first, I was not familiar with my work, so I humbly studied from my co-workers. After a time, some of the work in the churches I was responsible for yielded some results. However, some work had not made much progress. At a gathering, an upper-level leader asked me, “What work have you done during this time? How are the various items of work in the church progressing?” I thought to myself, “Since I took over the work, there has been no progress in cultivating waterers. I’ll not mention this for now, in case the leader says I’m not working well and looks down on me. But there have been some results in the gospel work and the work of cleansing the church. If I talk about these, then the leader will certainly have a good impression of me, and think that I am capable of the duty.” Therefore, I only talked about the work that had achieved results. I didn’t expect that the leader would then ask me about how the cultivation of waterers was progressing. I thought to myself, “If the leader finds out that I haven’t found any candidates suitable for cultivation, will she say I lack work capability?” So I said, “I’m looking for people right now.” After hearing this, the leader didn’t ask in more detail. She just urged me to cultivate people as soon as possible. I was secretly happy in my heart, thinking that I had finally gotten away with it. Unexpectedly, the leader asked me again, “Are there any security risks with the gathering houses?” I became nervous as soon as I heard this. Some houses did indeed have security risks, but because we couldn’t find suitable houses, we kept on just making do with them. If I were to tell the truth, what would the leader think of me? Would she say that I deliberately violated principles and did not consider safety? Would she prune me? At the time, I was a bit irritated inside, “Why was she asking such detailed questions?” So I lied and said, “There is such a situation, but we’ve only used it once. When I get back I’ll turn it around.” The leader seemed to see right into my mind. She pruned me, saying, “You are well aware that the gathering house is unsafe and yet you still keep using it. If anything happens, the consequences do not bear thinking about! Will you be able to bear them? Also, no waterers suitable for cultivation have been found yet. Is this not delaying the work?” Hearing the leader say this, I panicked even more, “The leader discovered so many problems with me the first time she met me. How can I show my face? Will the leader say I’m not up to the duty?” At the same time, I also silently defended myself, “I haven’t been responsible for the work very long, so it is understandable that some work hasn’t been done well. Hasn’t my other work yielded some results? You should give me a bit of time so I can take it slowly.” I explained myself by saying that I had just started to train and still didn’t understand some principles. The leader listened and then fellowshipped with me about some principles. The matter passed.

A few days later, that upper-level leader came to our church to handle some affairs. In passing, she asked how many leaders and workers in my area of responsibility could be promoted and cultivated, and if there were any that needed to be dismissed or reassigned. I thought to myself, “Last time when the leader acquainted herself with the work, many of my problems and deviations were exposed. Why is she asking again? I’m not in frequent contact with some of the leaders and workers, and am not too sure if they can be promoted and cultivated. As for those leaders and workers who don’t get good results in doing their duties, I can’t weigh up right now whether they need to be reassigned. What should I say? If I say I don’t know, then the leader will think I’m not doing real work. If I say I do know, I won’t be able to talk clearly about the details.” Therefore, I answered in a perfunctory way, “I can’t discern this, I wouldn’t be able to weigh it up properly.” The leader saw that she couldn’t get an answer to the questions, and didn’t ask anything more. After that, I realized that my attitude was wrong, and I felt a bit of self-reproach. The leader only wanted to understand the specifics of the work of the church, and it wasn’t the case that I didn’t understand anything. Why could I not just speak honestly?

The next day, the leader found me for fellowship and asked me, “Why did you not speak truthfully when reporting the situation with the work, and why don’t you want people to supervise and check up on the work you are responsible for? What disposition is this?” When I heard this, my heart thumped in my chest. “What will the leader think of me now? I have not been doing real work, and also haven’t let her supervise the work. This is surely a serious issue!” Therefore, I cautiously replied, “I just understood that I have been quite deceitful.” The leader said solemnly, “You do indeed have a deceitful disposition. But you are feeling resistant toward the supervisory work and not letting people understand the progress of the work. This is obstructing the implementation of the work of the church. This is revealing the disposition of an antichrist. You must reflect on yourself thoroughly!” When I heard the leader’s words, I felt a bit scared at heart. I hadn’t expected the nature of the problem to be so serious. I prayed to God in my heart and asked God to lead me to understand my own problems. Later, the leader looked up a passage of God’s words for me, which gave me some understanding of my own corrupt disposition. Almighty God says: “Whatever work an antichrist is engaged in, they’re afraid of the Above learning more about it and making inquiries. If the Above does make inquiries about the state of the work or of staffing, they’ll just give a perfunctory account of a few trivialities, a few things that they believe it’s fine for the Above to know, for which no consequences would come of their knowing. If the Above presses inquiries about the rest of it, they’ll believe that they’re meddling in their duty and in their ‘internal affairs.’ They won’t say any more to them, but will play dumb, deceiving and covering things up. … so what’s their goal in doing work? It’s about securing their status and livelihood. Whatever bad things they do, they don’t tell people the intent and motive for what they do. They must keep those strictly confidential; those things are classified information to them. What’s the most sensitive topic for people like this? It’s when you ask them, ‘What have you been doing recently? Has your performance of your duty yielded any results? Have there been any disruptions or disturbances in the area covered by your work? How did you handle them? Are you where you ought to be with your work? Have you been doing your duty loyally? Have the work decisions you’ve made incurred losses to the interests of God’s house? Have leaders who aren’t qualified been replaced? Have people of good caliber who are relatively truth-pursuing been promoted and nurtured? Have you suppressed people who’ve been insubordinate to you? What knowledge do you have of your corrupt disposition? What sort of person are you?’ These are the topics that are most sensitive to them. Being asked these questions is what they’re most afraid of, so, instead of waiting for you to ask them, they’ll rush to find another topic with which to cover them up. They’d like to misguide you by all means, keeping you from knowing what this situation actually is, as it stands. They’re always keeping you in the dark, always keeping you from knowing how far they’ve actually gotten with their work. There’s not a bit of transparency there. Do such people have true faith in God? Do they have fear of God? No. They never proactively report on the work, nor do they proactively report on mishaps in their work; they never ask, seek, or open up about the challenges and confusion they’ve encountered in their work, but go so far as to cover those things up, hoodwinking and deceiving others. There’s no transparency at all in their work, and it’s only when the Above presses them to give a factual report and account that they’ll reluctantly say a bit. They’d rather die than speak about any issues that involve their reputation and status—they’d die before offering a single word on that. Instead, they pretend not to have understood. Is that not an antichrist’s disposition?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part Two)). From God’s words, I saw that antichrists are always afraid of the Above asking about their work and learning about the state of their work. They are mortally afraid of the things they have not done, or their deficiencies and shortcomings, being exposed. In order to protect their own reputation and status they put all their efforts into cover ups and tricks so that people do not find out the truth. I thought back to myself. I was the same. When the leader tried to find out about my work, in order to prove that I had work capability, I took the initiative to report work that had yielded results to the leader. However, I kept my mouth shut about work that had not yielded results. When the leader asked me about the progress of cultivating waterers, even though I was well aware I was living amidst difficulties and was not doing real work, I was afraid that if I told the truth, the leader would prune me, so I was deceitful, and said it was in progress, making the leader mistakenly believe that I was doing real work. In this way, I thought I could protect my image in the mind of the leader. When the leader asked about whether the gathering houses were safe, I was worried that if the leader knew the true situation, she would prune me for acting without principles and so I covered up the facts and equivocated, avoiding the important areas of the issue to make the leader think that I had only failed to act according to principles on this one occasion. I fooled the leader and tried to get away with it. When the leader pruned and exposed me, I saw that I couldn’t cover it up any longer. I was afraid of losing face and so found excuses, saying that I had not been doing my duty very long and didn’t understand principles. In addition, when the upper-level leader asked me about the leaders and workers in my area of responsibility, even though I was well aware that I didn’t understand some people, I was perfunctory, saying that I wasn’t able to discern and couldn’t see through them. I saw that in order to protect my own reputation and status, I indulged in deceit and tricks at every turn to cover up the deviations and flaws in the work. I truly was too slippery and deceitful! Actually it is very proper for leaders to ask about the work situation. It is also normal for there to be deviations and problems in the work. As long as I can understand the areas that I haven’t managed to do and turn them around, that is OK. However, I was unable to treat them correctly and didn’t think about how to do things to benefit the work of the church. Instead, in order to protect my own reputation and status, I flagrantly indulged in deceit and trickery. I devoted all my efforts to covering up the deviations and flaws in the work. I was mortally afraid of them being discovered by the leader. This resulted in the leader being unable to understand the problems in the work, and being unable to fellowship and resolve them promptly. What I was doing was hindering the work of the church. I was resisting God! I had absolutely no God-fearing heart. What I revealed was the disposition of an antichrist.

Later, I read another passage of God’s words, and gained some understanding of the harm and consequences of pursuing reputation and status. Almighty God says: “If you are someone who loves the truth, you will endure various hardships in order to practice the truth. Even if it means sacrificing your reputation, status, and enduring ridicule and humiliation from others, you won’t mind—as long as you are able to practice the truth and satisfy God, it is enough. Those who love the truth choose to practice it and be honest. This is the correct path and it is blessed by God. If a person does not love the truth, what do they choose? They choose to use lies to uphold their reputation, status, dignity, and character. They would rather be deceitful, and be detested and rejected by God. Such people reject the truth and reject God. They choose their own reputation and status; they want to be deceitful. They do not care about whether God is pleased or if He will save them. Can such people still be saved by God? Certainly not, because they have chosen the wrong path. They can only live by lying and cheating; they can only live painful lives of telling lies and covering them up and racking their brains to defend themselves every day. If you think that lies can uphold the reputation, status, vanity, and pride you desire, you are completely mistaken. In reality, by telling lies, not only do you fail to maintain your vanity and pride, and your dignity and character, more grievously, you miss the opportunity to practice the truth and be an honest person. Even if you manage to protect your reputation, status, vanity, and pride at that moment, you have sacrificed the truth and betrayed God. This means you have completely lost your chance for Him to save and perfect you, which is the greatest loss and a lifelong regret. Those who are deceitful will never understand this” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). From God’s words I understood, that God loves honest people, but loathes and detests deceitful people. If someone constantly uses lies and trickery to protect their own reputation and status, then they are a deceitful person and cannot be saved. When I thought about it, the leader asked about and followed up on work so she could have a grasp of the state of the church. Anyone with even a bit of reason should answer truthfully. However, I was mortally afraid of the leader finding out about the deviations and problems in my work and this affecting my good impression in the mind of the leader. I only reported good news, not mentioning any problems, and equivocated to cover things up. For example, the matter of cultivating people. I was well aware that I was living in difficulties and hadn’t implemented it, but I lied and said that I was progressing with it. There was also the matter of the gathering house. I had used it in contravention of principles on more than one occasion, and these were knowing and deliberate violations. However, I engaged in sophistry to the leader, saying that I didn’t understand the principles. Because I did not tell the truth, the leader couldn’t understand the real situation, and had no way to promptly resolve the various problems and deviations in the work. As soon as problems occurred, they would hinder the work. By doing this, I was resisting God. I was making God loathe me. I relied on lies to protect my own reputation and status by concealing the facts. I thought that I could protect my own reputation and status by fooling people. However, the facts proved that every time I lied and engaged in tricks, the leader saw straight through me. Not only did I fail to protect my reputation and status, I ended up making even more of a fool of myself. Because I engaged in lies and trickery, my conscience was subject to reproach. I thought about those false leaders and antichrists who had been revealed and eliminated. In order to protect their own reputation and status and establish an image of themselves in people’s hearts, they do not accept God’s scrutiny when doing their duty, and do not accept the supervision of their brothers and sisters. Even though they make a complete mess of their work, they still cover it up so that nobody else finds out. As a result, they seriously harm the work of the church, and in the end, they are dismissed and eliminated. Was my behavior not identical to theirs? In order to protect my own reputation and status, time after time, I was deceitful to cover up the deviations and flaws in my work. I cheated people and tried to trick God. If I did not repent, then I would certainly be spurned by God, and lose my chance at salvation.

During my devotional, I read these words of God: “The house of God supervises, observes, and tries to understand those who do a duty. Are you able to accept this principle of the house of God? (Yes.) It is a wonderful thing if you can accept God’s house supervising, observing, and trying to understand you. It is of help to you in fulfilling your duty, in being able to do your duty in a way that is up to standard and to satisfy God’s intentions. It benefits and helps you, without any downside at all. Once you have understood this principle, should you not then no longer have any feelings of resistance or guardedness against the supervision of leaders, workers, and God’s chosen people? Even though sometimes someone tries to understand you, observes you, and supervises your work, this is not something to take personally. Why do I say this? Because the tasks that are now yours, the duty you perform, and any work that you do are not the private affairs or personal job of any one person; they touch on the work of God’s house and relate to one part of God’s work. Therefore, when anyone spends a little time supervising or observing you, or gets to understand you on a deep level, trying to have a heart-to-heart with you and find out what your state has been like during this time, and even sometimes when their attitude is a little harsher, and they prune, discipline, and reproach you a bit, this is all because they have a conscientious and responsible attitude toward the work of the house of God. You should not have any negative thoughts or emotions toward this. What does it mean if you can accept it when others supervise, observe, and try to understand you? That, in your heart, you accept the scrutiny of God. If you do not accept people’s supervision, observation, and attempts to understand you—if you push back against all this—are you able to accept the scrutiny of God? The scrutiny of God is more detailed, in-depth, and accurate than when people try to understand you; God’s requirements are more specific, exacting, and in-depth. If you cannot accept being supervised by God’s chosen people, are your claims that you can accept God’s scrutiny not empty words? For you to be able to accept God’s scrutiny and examination, you must first accept being supervised by the house of God, the leaders and workers, or the brothers and sisters” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (7)). From God’s words I understood that everyone has a corrupt disposition, and is often involuntarily perfunctory when doing their duties. They also often do things that violate principles based on their own ideas, damaging the work of the church. Before obtaining the truth, nobody is reliable. Therefore, when we do our duties we must accept the supervision of the leaders and our brothers and sisters. This is beneficial both to the work of the church and to our personal life entry. It is just like this time, when thanks to the leader promptly finding out about and following up on the work, I finally discovered that my own work in cultivating people had not progressed, and this was already hindering the work. Only when the leader followed up on and found out about the work did I have some sense of urgency, and wanted to hurriedly implement it to avoid causing major damage to the work. In addition, I selected gathering houses without principle. If it hadn’t been for the leader asking repeatedly, I would have kept accommodating myself and acting in violation of principles. Once the arrests by the great red dragon came upon us and the work of the church was damaged, it would have been too late for regrets. In addition, I didn’t understand the situation of the church leaders. Some who should have been cultivated weren’t, while I wasn’t clear about who should be dismissed. I was in a complete muddle. Even though this was the case, I still tried to cover things up. If the leader hadn’t asked about the work, I would never have realized that there were so many deviations and flaws in the performance of my duty, and I would not have been anxious and worked up to turn things around. As for myself, it is very probable that I would have been reassigned or dismissed because I wasn’t doing good work. I saw that without the upper-level leader promptly following up on and finding out about the work, I simply would have been unable to achieve doing my duty in accordance with principles. I would only have been able to do evil and resist God in reliance on my corrupt disposition. I only now understood that when the leader supervises and checks my work, she is not looking down on me, nor is she embarrassing me on purpose. Instead, she is fulfilling her responsibilities to her work. She is helping me to do my duty well, and protecting the interests of the church. It is a positive thing. However, I felt resistant to it, and tried to escape. In doing this, I was averse to the truth. I was fighting God! I could not continue to consider my own face and status and escape the supervisory work of the leader. I had to treat the deviations and flaws in my work correctly. Afterward, I changed the gathering house with a security risk, and reported the actual circumstances and difficulties with cultivating waterers to the leader. The leader pointed out that I was not screening people in accordance with principles, and that my requirements of people were too high. She also fellowshipped on principles with me, and screened people together with me. In the end, we selected people who were capable of being cultivated.

Later, I read more of God’s words: “You must seek the truth to resolve any problem that arises, no matter what it is, and by no means disguise yourself or put on a false face for others. Your shortcomings, your deficiencies, your faults, your corrupt dispositions—be completely open about them all, and fellowship about them all. Do not keep them inside. Learning how to open yourself up is the first step toward life entry, and it is the first hurdle, which is the most difficult to overcome. Once you have overcome it, entering the truth is easy. What does taking this step signify? It means that you are opening your heart and showing everything you have, good or bad, positive or negative; baring yourself for others and for God to see; hiding nothing from God, concealing nothing, disguising nothing, free of deceit and trickery, and being likewise open and honest with other people. In this way, you live in the light, and not only will God scrutinize you, but other people will also be able to see that you act with principle and a degree of transparency. You do not need to use any methods to protect your reputation, image, and status, nor do you need to cover up or disguise your mistakes. You do not need to engage in these useless efforts. If you can let these things go, you will be very relaxed, you will live without constraints or pain, and you will live entirely in the light” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “Do not always do things for your own sake and do not constantly consider your own interests; do not consider the interests of man, and give no thought to your own pride, reputation, and status. You must first consider the interests of God’s house, and make them your priority. You should be considerate of God’s intentions and begin by contemplating whether or not there have been impurities in the performance of your duty, whether you have been loyal, fulfilled your responsibilities, and given it your all, as well as whether or not you have been wholeheartedly thinking about your duty and the work of the church. You must consider these things. If you think about them frequently and figure them out, it will be easier for you to perform your duty well” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). God’s words pointed out the path of practice to do our duty well. We have to accept God’s scrutiny, and not use underhand means or tricks for the sake of our own reputation and status. We have to put the interests of the church first, and promptly open up and seek about the things we don’t understand or can’t do. We have to not cover up or disguise ourselves in respect of work that hasn’t been done well, and have to act in the way that most benefits the work. In this way, conducting ourselves is not tiring, and we can gain God’s approval in the performance of our duties.

Later, regardless of whether the leaders met me to learn about the work or sent a letter to follow up on the work, I would always consciously rebel against my own corrupt disposition and set the correct attitude. Once, the upper-level leaders sent a letter asking us to report on several items of work, and, if any items of work had not yielded good results, we had to provide an explanation of the reason. I thought to myself, “In the past two weeks, I have been busy with implementing the cleansing work. I haven’t had a chance to follow up on the other work. One of the churches is lacking leaders, and there still haven’t been any elections. I also haven’t really followed up on the watering work and the gospel work. I don’t know much about what is going on with these areas of work. How can I submit a report when so many jobs haven’t been done? If the leaders find out, will they say that I am not doing real work and am not capable of this job? Why don’t I just not report the jobs that haven’t been done for now, and report on them when I’ve done them?” I then changed my mind and thought, “This is wrong! Am I not trying to conceal the facts, be deceitful, and play tricks?” At this time, I realized that my state was incorrect. I hurriedly prayed to God. I remembered these words of God: “Those who are capable of putting the truth into practice can accept God’s scrutiny in the things they do. When you accept God’s scrutiny, your heart will be set straight” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). That’s true. God requires that we must do everything before God and accept God’s scrutiny. I can no longer do things before people, and be deceitful and play tricks in order to be praised by them. This incurs God’s loathing. No matter what others think of me, I have to practice being an honest person according to God’s words. Things should be clear-cut and in perfect accordance with the facts. Only this is in accordance with God’s intention. Then I prayed to God, “Dear God, I haven’t done some work well and I want to cover it up by not reporting it. May You lead me to let go of face and status, practice the truth to be an honest person, and truthfully report the situation to the leaders.” After praying, I wrote down the status of all the various items of work of the church truthfully and passed it on to the leaders. Afterward, I hurriedly summarized my own problems and deviations, and continued to follow up on and handle these tasks. In the end, I completed implementing all the work that hadn’t been finished. By practicing in this way, I felt very at ease in my heart. Later, some work in the churches I was responsible for was not implemented in a timely manner. Thanks to the continuous follow-ups and supervision of the leaders, they were able to urge me to promptly do the work and turn things around. When I found problems that I couldn’t solve, I also promptly reported them to the leaders, and they would point out a path of practice. They gave me a lot of guidance and help in my work. Now, I accept the leaders supervising and following up on my work from the bottom of my heart.

Through this revelation, I finally saw that in my nature, I did not love the truth. For the sake of reputation and status, I was even able to lie, engage in trickery, cover up the flaws in the work, and escape the supervision of the leaders. I was walking the path of antichrists! At the same time, I also realized that if I do my duty without the supervision of leaders and workers then I will simply be unable to do the work well. The supervisory work of leaders and workers has been so beneficial to me!