By Zhou Feng, China

In July 2023, I was dismissed from my position as a leader because I pursued reputation and status and didn’t do real work. Two weeks later, my former partner, Sister Liu Xiao, came to see me. She said, “The CCP is now arresting believers in God all over the place. Some host families are known believers in God, so they are not safe. You aren’t a known believer, and your family situation is suitable. From now on, you can do hosting duty at your home.” I felt ashamed when I saw Liu Xiao. I thought, “Just two weeks ago, I was still doing leadership duties in partnership with her, and now she’s come to arrange my duty. Even worse, it’s hosting duty! How far I have fallen! Does she think that I’m a person who does not pursue the truth and is only fit for hosting duty?” Then I thought that most of the brothers and sisters who do hosting duty are older and of average caliber. It would be so shameful if the brothers and sisters who know me found out that I was doing hosting duty at home! I really, really didn’t want to do hosting duty, and thought that hosting duty was inferior, unlike leaders who enjoy prestige and prominence wherever they go. However, to refuse duty when it calls shows a lack of reason, so I reluctantly agreed. I was also thinking to myself, “When I have gained some understanding of myself through doing some devotionals and reflecting on myself, I might be reassigned to another duty.”

After I started doing hosting duty, Liu Xiao sometimes came to my home to discuss work with the brothers and sisters. I thought about how I used to be just like her, but now I was cooking for them, washing the dishes every day, and cleaning up. It couldn’t get any more embarrassing! One day the doorbell rang, and I opened the door and saw that it was Sister Wang Dan. My face immediately felt burning hot. Thinking back to the past, I had always arranged for Wang Dan to do everything, but now it was Wang Dan who arranged work for me. Such a huge transformation in fortunes was so embarrassing! Wang Dan said, “In the next couple of days, we will take the brothers and sisters who are staying in your home and transfer them to another host home.” I was very happy when I heard this, “Is this them about to arrange for me to do another duty? As long as it isn’t hosting duty, I don’t mind if I’m watering newcomers or preaching the gospel. As long as I can be in contact with my brothers and sisters, when the day comes for an election in the church, I will have a chance to run for election as a leader or deacon. Unlike hosting duty, where there’s not even a chance to get your face seen.” Just as I was daydreaming, Wang Dan said, “We’ll take them away and replace them with other brothers and sisters.” I felt very disappointed when I heard this. “When will this hosting duty be over?” Later, I saw a letter from the upper leaders. It said that the CCP was investigating, searching for, and arresting people who believe in God, and that everyone had to pay attention to safety and protect the interests of the church, and, in particular, the host families had to maintain a good environment and protect their brothers and sisters. After reading the letter, I thought, “The current environment is becoming increasingly tense, and we need more safe host families. It seems that it won’t be easy to alter my hosting duty.” I was downcast and miserable all day long during that time. When my sisters did or said something not to my liking in daily life, I would resent the sight of them, and I would feel angry and resistant when there were a lot of things to tidy up while I was doing the cleaning. I felt like a maid, doing all the dirty and tiring work, and tidied things up with a great deal of grumpy banging and crashing. I didn’t look happy when I talked to my sisters either. During that time, the sisters were all constrained by me, and my own state grew worse and worse. I didn’t even do devotionals regularly, and sometimes I even wantonly indulged in the flesh by playing with my phone. Sister Li Lu saw that my state was bad, and reminded me to read more of God’s words, learn more hymns, and practice writing articles, but I didn’t listen to her. One day, Li Lu pointed out my state, saying that although I was doing my duty on the outside, I was not willing. After hearing what she said, I felt a little resistant, “I am busy every single day cooking for you lot. How is that being unwilling?” Afterward, her words kept resurfacing in my mind. That night, I tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. I thought to myself, “Why did my sister criticize me? What is God’s intention?” I thought about how my state had been bad recently, and I had not been paying attention to my duty, or showing love for my sisters. I often gave them dirty looks and constrained them… The more I thought about it, the more guilty and self-reproachful I felt. I prayed to God, begging that He lead me to understand myself. I thought of some of God’s words that I had read before: “Whatever your duty, do not discriminate between high and low. Suppose you say, ‘Though this task is a commission from God and the work of God’s house, if I do it, people might look down on me. Others get to do work that lets them stand out. I’ve been given this task, which doesn’t let me stand out but makes me exert myself behind the scenes, it’s unfair! I will not do this duty. My duty has to be one that makes me stand out in front of others and allows me to make a name for myself—and even if I don’t make a name for myself or stand out, I still have to benefit from it and feel physically at ease.’ Is this an acceptable attitude? Being picky is not accepting things from God; it is making choices according to your own preferences. This is not accepting your duty; it is a refusal of your duty, a manifestation of your rebelliousness against God. Such pickiness is adulterated with your individual preferences and desires. When you give consideration to your own benefit, your reputation, and so on, your attitude toward your duty is not submissive” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). What God talked about was precisely my state. I thought back to before, when I was a leader in the church and could get my face seen. Wherever I went, I was esteemed by my brothers and sisters, and I felt happy in my heart and had the energy to do my duties. In particular, I was delighted when I was elected to be a district leader, and thought that I had stood out from the crowd and gained the limelight. My energy to do my duty redoubled. At that time, I worked from dawn to dusk every day. It was winter, and very cold, but even when I only got home at 11 or 12 at night, I was still happy; I didn’t feel the cold and didn’t feel tired. But after I was dismissed and the leader arranged for me to do hosting duty, I felt like a maid, doing all the hard work and odd jobs, like I was an inferior servant. My heart couldn’t submit, and I looked forward to the day when the leaders would reassign my duty. Later, the upper leaders sent a letter, saying that the current environment was becoming increasingly tense, and more safe host families were needed. When I realized that my duty wouldn’t be reassigned in the short term, I felt uncomfortable and lived in negativity. I did my duty, but my heart was deeply unwilling, and I also gave my sisters dirty and resentful looks, constraining them. What kind of submission did I have to God? My submission was conditional, and contained my own preferences and impurities. It was not genuine submission to God. I only submitted if it was of benefit to me and I won some prestige, but if it was not beneficial to me and I couldn’t put myself on show, I couldn’t submit. If I didn’t turn this state around, it would be very dangerous.

One day, I read the words of God: “In the house of God, there is constant mention of accepting God’s commission and performing one’s duty properly. How does duty come into being? To speak broadly, it comes into being as a result of God’s management work of bringing salvation to humanity; to speak specifically, as God’s management work unfolds among mankind, various work appears that requires people to cooperate and complete it. This has given rise to responsibilities and missions for people to fulfill, and these responsibilities and missions are the duties God bestows upon mankind. In God’s house, the various tasks that require people’s cooperation are the duties they should perform. So, are there differences between duties in terms of better and worse, lofty and lowly, or great and small? Such differences do not exist; as long as something has to do with God’s management work, is a requirement of the work of His house, and is required by spreading God’s gospel, then it is a person’s duty. This is the origin and definition of duty. Without God’s work of management, would people on earth—regardless of how they live—have duties? No. Now you see clearly. What is one’s duty related to? (It is related to God’s management work of the salvation of mankind.) That is right. There is a direct relationship between the duties of mankind, the duties of created beings and God’s management work of the salvation of mankind. It can be said that without God’s salvation of mankind, and without the management work the incarnate God has launched among man, people would not have any duties to speak of. Duties arise out of God’s work; it is what God demands of people. Looking at it from this perspective, duty is important for every person who follows God, is it not? It is very important. Speaking broadly, you are taking part in the work of God’s management plan; more specifically, you are cooperating with the various types of jobs of God that are required at different times and among different groups of people. Regardless of what your duty is, it is a mission God has given you. Sometimes you may be required to look after or safeguard an important object. This might be a comparatively trivial matter that can only be said to be a responsibility of yours, but it is a task God has given you; you accepted it from Him. You accepted it from God’s hands, and this is your duty. Speaking to the root of the matter, your duty is entrusted to you by God. It includes mainly spreading the gospel, bearing testimony, making videos, being a leader or worker in the church, or it might be work that is even more dangerous and more important. Regardless, as long as it has to do with God’s work and the necessity of the work of disseminating the gospel, people should accept it as a duty from God. Duty, to put it in even broader terms, is a person’s mission, a commission entrusted by God; more specifically, it is your responsibility, your obligation. Given that it is your mission, a commission entrusted to you by God, and is your responsibility and obligation, performing your duty has nothing to do with your personal affairs” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). After reading the words of God, I understood that people only have the opportunity to do duties and be saved because of God’s management plan to save mankind, and that there are many duties that need to be done in the house of God. Some lead the church, some preach the gospel, and some do general affairs work and so on. In God’s eyes, there is no distinction between better and worse duties, or lofty and lowly duties. As created beings, we should submit to God no matter what duty we do or whether we can put ourselves on show or not, and should not choose based on our own preferences. Instead, I divided the duties that came from God into various grades, and believed that being a leader was very prestigious, because wherever they go, they are esteemed and envied. They are just like senior management in a company, surrounded by people who admire them. However, when you do hosting duty, you toil at tiring and dirty odd jobs; just like the way that if you are a maid in the world, you are a servant, and looked down upon. That’s why when the leader arranged for me to do hosting duty, I thought it was too embarrassing and degrading, and complained while I did my duty. In the end, my state got worse and worse, until I didn’t even do devotionals regularly or feel like writing articles. All this was caused by my mistaken outlook on my duty. I viewed things from the perspective of a nonbeliever, and didn’t regard my duty as my responsibility and obligation. As a created being, being able to do one’s duty in God’s management plan to save mankind is the most meaningful thing there is. It is the greatest honor, and I should thank God for giving me this opportunity. The CCP is frantically resisting God, and is unscrupulous in the methods it employs to persecute and arrest Christians to disturb and destroy God’s work. In this adverse environment, it is my responsibility and obligation to host my brothers and sisters well, helping them do their duty in a safe environment. However, I had been bound too tightly by pride and status, and fallaciously believed that people who do hosting duty are not people who pursue the truth, and that only older people do this duty. All this was my notions and imaginings.

Later I read another passage of God’s words: “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy for worldly dealings, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him. Man’s disposition becomes more vicious by the day, and there is not a single person who will willingly give up anything for God, not a single person who will willingly submit to God, nor, moreover, a single person who will willingly seek the appearance of God. Instead, under the power of Satan, man does nothing but pursue pleasure, giving himself over to the corruption of the flesh in the land of mud. Even when they hear the truth, those who live in darkness give no thought to putting it into practice, nor are they inclined to seek out God even if they have beheld His appearance. How could a mankind so depraved have any chance of salvation? How could a mankind so decadent live in the light?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God). After reading God’s words, I understood that the root cause of my inability to submit to God was that I had been conditioned by satanic thoughts and viewpoints, like, “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies,” “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark,” and “Man struggles upward; water flows downward.” I had attached too much importance to my pride and status. I thought back to when I was working in a state-owned enterprise, and constantly felt that I was superior to others. I looked down on people who worked in brickyards, construction sites, or small factories. After I started believing in God, I was just the same, and thought that it was prestigious to be a leader, while I looked down on those who did hosting duty or general affairs duty. I felt that those duties were just running errands and doing physical work, that they were inferior. That’s why when Liu Xiao arranged for me to do hosting duty, I felt inferior to others, and wanted to hide away when I saw her. I also felt too embarrassed to see Wang Dan when she came to me for something and envied them for being leaders, enjoying prestige wherever they go and winning the esteem of their brothers and sisters. I thought that by doing hosting duty, I was not on the same level as them, and felt very embarrassed. I was happy as soon as I heard Wang Dan say she would take the brothers and sisters away, and hoped one day to supervise gathering groups in the church, and have the chance to be promoted in the future. But as soon as I heard that I was still to do hosting duty, my state sank, and I was negative and slacked off in doing my duty. I thought back to the time when I was a leader and was dismissed because I pursued reputation and status and walked the wrong path as a result; I was doing hosting duty now, but my old nature had not changed. I still considered pride and status and couldn’t do my duty well. I realized that I had been bound and controlled by Satan’s fallacious thoughts and viewpoints, and in doing my duty, all I considered was my own pride and status at every turn. I didn’t show any submission, still less any loyalty, and my perspective on viewing people and things was like that of a nonbeliever. I did not base things on God’s words. Everything I had done was hostile to the truth and resisted God. When I understood this, I prayed to God, “Dear God, I cannot submit to Your arrangements in order to protect my own pride and status. I do not wish to live by satanic thoughts and viewpoints anymore. May You lead me to view people and things in accordance with Your words and submit to Your arrangements.”

Later, I read more of God’s words: “For all who perform a duty, no matter how profound or shallow their understanding of the truth is, the simplest way to practice entering into the truth reality is to think of the interests of God’s house in everything, and to let go of one’s selfish desires, personal intents, motives, pride, and status. Put the interests of God’s house first—this is the least one should do. If a person who performs a duty cannot even do this much, then how can they be said to be performing their duty? That is not performing one’s duty. You should first think of the interests of God’s house, be considerate of God’s intentions, and consider the work of the church. Put these things first and foremost; only after that can you think about the stability of your status or how others regard you. Do you not feel that this becomes a little easier when you divide it into two steps and make some compromises? If you practice like this for a while, you will come to feel that satisfying God is not such a difficult thing. Furthermore, you should be able to fulfill your responsibilities, perform your obligations and duty, and set aside your selfish desires, intents, and motives; you should show consideration for God’s intentions, and put the interests of God’s house, the work of the church, and the duty that you are supposed to perform first. After experiencing this for a while, you will feel that this is a good way to comport yourself. It is living straightforwardly and honestly, and not being a base, vile person; it is living justly and honorably rather than being despicable, base, and a good-for-nothing. You will feel that this is how a person should act and the image that they should live out. Gradually, your desire to satisfy your own interests will lessen” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). Reading the words of God brightened my heart. When performing our duties, we must first let go of our personal interests, pride, and status. No matter what others think of us, we must put our duty first and prioritize the interests of God’s house. In this way, we act before God and perform our own duty. Nowadays, the CCP is trying every possible means to madly arrest believers in God. They have introduced various kinds of high-tech surveillance equipment and installed high-definition cameras in the streets and alleys, and also cultivated informants in neighborhood committees and among people who receive minimum living allowances to monitor and follow believers in God. Many host families face risks to their safety, and it is not easy to find a safe host family. I am not a known believer and don’t face any risks to my safety, so it is appropriate for me to do hosting duty. I should submit to the church’s arrangements and do my hosting duty well. This is also protecting the interests of the church. Having understood God’s intention, I was willing to let go of my pride and status and do my hosting duty well to protect my brothers and sisters, to give them a safe environment to do their duties in. Later, when I had time, I read more of God’s words, did devotionals, and practiced writing articles. By practicing in this way, my heart felt much more at ease. That I was able to achieve these gains was due to God’s leadership. Thank God!