By Xiao Wei, China

In 2019, I was doing text-based duty in the church. One day, I learned that Sister Yuan Li, from the Qingyuan church, had been elected as a leader. When I heard this news, I was a bit shocked. I was very familiar with Yuan Li. She was passionate in doing her duty, and had always been very active in preaching the gospel. She didn’t fear suffering or exhaustion. However, when she was a leader previously, she had always been pursuing reputation and status, and exalting herself and showing herself off. Moreover, when issues cropped up she did not lead her brothers and sisters to seek the truth and learn lessons. Instead, she sowed discord, so that her brothers and sisters lived in the midst of a state of right and wrong and the work of the church was also affected. And though the upper leaders gave her pointers and helped her on many occasions, she did not accept this, and even came up with reasons to defend herself. In the end, she was dismissed. After being dismissed, she did not genuinely hate and regret her own corruption. Yuan Li did not seem to be someone who pursued the truth. She was not suited to being a leader. According to the principles, the people who are elected leaders must be people who pursue the truth. Otherwise, the life entry of all the brothers and sisters in the church will be affected and the work of the church will be delayed. I wanted to report Yuan Li’s behavior to the upper leaders, but then I thought that the Qingyuan church had been subjected to several major waves of arrests. Many brothers and sisters had been arrested by the CCP, and so there were actual difficulties in electing a leader. If I put forward a different opinion, then would the upper leaders think that I was nitpicking and putting them in a tricky position? I wouldn’t do anything that offended the leaders. Moreover, I had left the Qingyuan church a while ago. Maybe Yuan Li had gained some understanding and repented during this time. I then thought, Yuan Li indeed had not pursued the truth in the past. I could write a letter to the upper leaders sharing my thoughts, and ask if Yuan Li had shown any sign of repentance. This would fulfill my responsibility. But when it actually came to writing it, I started to ponder, “If Yuan Li was elected, then the upper leaders certainly had known about her and had checked her out. The upper leaders understand more truth and have more of a grasp of principles than I do. If they agreed, then Yuan Li must have been suitable to be elected. I don’t need to mention this. In addition, I am only doing text-based duties, while Yuan Li is a church leader. Even if she isn’t suitable for this duty, that is a matter for the upper leaders. It is not my business. If I report the problems with Yuan Li, will they think I’m getting involved in things that don’t concern me, and have a bad opinion of me? I should just leave it at this.” So I didn’t report her.

Later, we moved to a new host house within the area of the church that Yuan Li was responsible for. When Yuan Li came to deliver letters to us, we talked about our states together. Yuan Li said that the sister she was partnered with, Zhang Hua, was of poor caliber, and couldn’t do anything well. Another leader, Ranran, was of good caliber, but indulged the flesh and did not bear a burden when doing her duty. Later, she talked about how she bore a burden when doing her own duty. I thought to myself, “Why is Yuan Li still belittling other people and elevating herself up?” Actually, I understood a bit about Zhang Hua and Ranran. Zhang Hua was old, and it was true that her caliber was a bit poor. But she bore a burden when doing her duty. Ranran was certainly a bit poor at bearing a burden when doing her duty, but with frequent fellowship and supervision, she was able to do her duty normally. She was not as bad as Yuan Li said. The way she put it made it look like these two leaders weren’t doing any work at all, and she was doing everything herself. At the time, Yuan Li also said that Ranran had bad humanity, listing a number of incidents. Actually Yuan Li was distorting facts. I learned from Ranran that Yuan Li would always go between her and Zhang Hua, telling each of them about things that the other had done wrong and inciting trouble. This meant that Ranran and Zhang Hua formed prejudices about each other and couldn’t cooperate harmoniously, with the various items of work in the church bearing no results. Therefore, I pointed out to Yuan Li the nature of what she was doing and the consequences of it. Yuan Li’s face looked very unhappy, and she found reasons to explain it away. After Yuan Li left, my heart was not calm at all. I thought to myself, “Yuan Li loves to show herself off and belittle others, and doesn’t accept the truth. The way she behaves is consistent. If you weigh this up according to principle, it shows she has not genuinely repented, and is unsuited to doing a duty as important as that of a church leader. I should report the problems with Yuan Li to the upper leaders.” However, when I was writing the letter, I felt conflicted, “Usually, I get along well with Yuan Li. If I report her circumstances to the leaders in detail, then they will certainly come to verify the situation and find out what’s going on. By then, if Yuan Li finds out that it was me who reported the problems with her then she’ll surely hate me. How will I be able to get on with her in the future? Also, if I report this matter, then will the leaders say that I’m not doing my text-based duty properly, and getting involved in things that don’t concern me, and so have a bad impression of me? That would end badly for me on both sides. I’ll just leave it. The less trouble, the better. As time goes on, the leaders will surely discover her problems and dismiss her. I just won’t get involved in this.” However, afterward I still felt a bit uneasy whenever I thought of this. At night, I lay in bed tossing and turning, unable to sleep. So I prayed to God, “Dear God, I am clear in my heart that Yuan Li is unsuited to doing the duties of a church leader. I know I should write a letter and report her problems, but I haven’t been able to put this into practice. May You lead and guide me.” I read the words of God: “Following God’s way is not about observing superficial regulations; rather, it means that when you are faced with a problem, you view it first and foremost as a situation that has been arranged by God, a responsibility He has bestowed upon you, or a task that He has entrusted to you. When facing this problem, you should even see it as a trial God has put to you. When you encounter this problem, you must have a standard in your heart, and you must think that this matter has come from God. You must think about how to deal with it in such a way that you can fulfill your responsibility while remaining loyal to God, as well as how to do it without infuriating Him or offending His disposition” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. How to Know God’s Disposition and the Results His Work Shall Achieve). After reading the words of God, I understood that the things I encounter every day are all arranged by God. No matter what I encounter, I must consciously practice in accordance with the words of God, do my duty in accordance with principle, and fulfill my responsibility and loyalty. Only in this way can I keep myself from doing things which offend God’s disposition. Thinking back to how I treated the matter of Yuan Li, others might not know her well, but I was somewhat able to discern her. Yuan Li only showed some good behaviors on the outside. When doing her duty, she often exalted herself and showed herself off. When things came upon her, she did not focus on seeking the truth and learning lessons. She lived in a state of right and wrong, and did not accept the pointers and pruning of her brothers and sisters. If she led the brothers and sisters, then everybody would end up being harmed. I was well aware that Yuan Li was unsuitable at being a leader, but I didn’t dare write a letter to report her problems. I looked on as the interests of the church were damaged. I truly didn’t have the slightest God-fearing heart! I saw that my attitude toward the work of the church was too irreverent. I simply did not fulfill my responsibilities and loyalty at all. I was entirely protecting my own interest. I was too lacking in humanity! I felt hugely regretful in my heart, and hated myself. How could I have been so selfish?

One day, I read the words of God: “Having the awareness of conscience is so valuable, as is having the ability to differentiate between what is true and false, and having a sense of justice when it comes to loving positive things. These three things are the most desirable and valuable things in normal humanity. If you possess these three things, then you will certainly be able to practice the truth. Even if you only have one or two of these things, you will still be able to practice some of the truth. Let us take a look at the awareness of conscience. For example, if you encounter an evil person disturbing and disrupting the church’s work, will you be able to discern it? Are you able to pick out obvious evil deeds? Of course you can. Evil people do bad things, and good people do good things; the average person can tell the difference with one glance. If you possess the awareness of conscience, won’t you have feelings and views? If you have views and feelings, then you possess one of the most basic conditions for practicing the truth. If you can tell and feel that this person is doing evil, and you can discern it and then expose that person, and enable God’s chosen people to discern this matter, won’t the problem be resolved? Is this not practicing the truth and holding to the principles? What methods are used to practice the truth here? (Exposing, reporting, and stopping the evildoing.) Correct. Acting in this way is practicing the truth, and by doing this, you will have fulfilled your responsibilities. If you can act according to the truth principles that you understand when you encounter situations like this, this is practicing the truth, this is doing things with principles. But if you did not possess the awareness of conscience, and you saw evil people doing evil, would you be aware of this? (I wouldn’t.) And what would people with no awareness think about it? ‘What’s it to me if that person does evil? They’re not hurting me, so why would I offend them? Is it really necessary to? How would I benefit from doing that?’ Do people like this expose, report, and stop evil people from doing evil? Certainly not. They understand the truth but can’t practice it. Do such people have consciences and reason? They have neither consciences nor reason. Why do I say this? Because they understand the truth but don’t practice it; this means that they have no consciences or reason, and that they are rebelling against God. They only focus on protecting their own interests from harm; they have no regard for whether the church’s work suffers losses, or whether damage is done to the interests of God’s chosen people. They only try to protect themselves, and if they discover problems, they ignore them. Even when they see someone committing evil, they turn a blind eye to it, and think that it’s fine, as long as it isn’t hurting their interests. No matter what others do, it seems to be none of their business; they feel no sense of responsibility, and their consciences do not have any effect on them. Based on these manifestations, do these people have humanity? A person without a conscience and reason is a person without humanity. People without consciences and reason are all evil: They are beasts disguised as humans, who are capable of all manner of bad things” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. To Perform One’s Duty Well, One Must at Least Be Possessed of a Conscience and Reason). After reading the words of God, I understood that a true person is possessed of a conscience and reason. They are able to distinguish right from wrong, and have a sense of justice which loves positive things. When they see an evil person disrupt and disturb the work of the church, they can discern it and are able to report and expose them in a timely manner to protect the interests of the church from being damaged. A person not possessed of a conscience and reason, just ignores problems even if they discover them. They think only about protecting their own interests, and when they see people doing evil and disrupting and disturbing the work of the church, they do not get involved. They do not have even a scrap of a sense of responsibility. I thought of how the Qingyuan church had been subjected to several major waves of arrests. The brothers and sisters didn’t have a good church life, and were looking forward to a good leader who could help them with their life entry. However, I was well aware that Yuan Li was not suited to be a leader but was afraid of offending her, afraid that she would be prejudiced against me, and afraid that the leaders would have a bad impression of me. Therefore, despite understanding, I pretended to be a fool, and didn’t dare report the problems with Yuan Li. I stood by and watched the work of the church be damaged and the lives of my brothers and sisters suffer losses. I truly was so selfish and deceitful! In the past, I had believed that I was able to perform some duties in the church; on the outside, I had some good behavior, and didn’t do anything that obviously disrupts the work of the church, so I seemed to have a bit of humanity. Now, I saw that I didn’t even have the conscience and reason that a normal person should possess. I was not worthy of being called a human! If I didn’t repent to God, then I would certainly be hated and eliminated by God. When I thought this way, my heart was full of regret and self-reproach. I prayed to God, willing to practice the truth and fulfill my duty. I remembered these words of God: “Do everything that is beneficial to God’s work and nothing that is detrimental to the interests of God’s work. Defend God’s name, God’s testimony, and God’s work” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. On God’s Administrative Decrees in the Age of Kingdom). “You should uphold and take responsibility for anything that relates to the interests of the house of God, or which concerns the work of God’s house and the name of God. Each of you has this responsibility and obligation, and this is what you must do” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. On God’s Administrative Decrees in the Age of Kingdom). God’s words made me understand that when things happen, one should let go of their own benefit and prioritize the work of the church. If one sees things in the church that do not accord with principles, that harm the interests of the church, one must fulfill their responsibility, uphold principle, and protect the work of the church. Only then can one be a member of the house of God and approved by God. If they remain indifferent out of fear of offending people, this is not protecting the church’s work. It is an offense toward God. Later, I wrote a letter to the leaders reporting the problems with Yuan Li. The leaders arranged for someone to come and verify it. After they had found out about the situation, they discovered that Yuan Li was consistently exalting herself and showing herself off. When things came up, she did not look at them in accordance with the words of God; she lived in a state of right and wrong. She also incited discord between brothers and sisters, and constituted a disruption and disturbance to the work of the church. When it was weighed up according to principle, she was unsuited to being a leader, so she was dismissed. When I learned about this result, my heart felt much more at ease. I felt that when I practiced according to the principles, my conscience didn’t suffer from reproach, and my heart was liberated.

Later, I thought things over, “Why am I unable to practice in accordance with principle as soon as my own interests are involved? Why is practicing the truth so exhausting for me?” I read the words of God: “Satan corrupts people through the education and influence of national governments and of the famous and great. Their devilish words have become man’s life and nature. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’ is a well-known satanic saying that has been instilled into everyone, and this has become man’s life. There are other words of philosophies for worldly dealings that are also like this. Satan uses each nation’s traditional culture to educate, mislead, and corrupt people, causing mankind to fall into and be engulfed by a boundless abyss of destruction, and in the end, people are destroyed by God because they serve Satan and resist God. … Mankind has been profoundly corrupted by Satan. Satan’s venom flows through the blood of every person, and it can be said that man’s nature is corrupt, wicked, antagonistic, and in opposition to God, filled by and immersed in the philosophies and poisons of Satan. It has become, entirely, the nature essence of Satan. This is why people resist God and stand in opposition to God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Know Man’s Nature). After reading this passage of God’s words I understood that Satan uses the words of various types of famous and great men to instill its poisons into us. For example, “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “When you know something is wrong, it is better to say less,” “The less trouble, the better,” and “He who talks a lot errs a lot.” I was living by these satanic poisons, and placed my own interests above all else. Whatever I did, I weighed it up based on whether it was of benefit to me. If it was something of benefit to me, I would do it immediately without saying another word; if it was something that was of no benefit to me and might offend someone, I would definitely not do it. I was especially selfish and deceitful. I was well aware that Yuan Li was unsuited to being a leader, and wanted to report this to the upper leaders, but I was afraid that if I reported it the upper leaders would say that I wasn’t getting on with my own duties and getting involved in things that didn’t concern me, and so have a bad assessment of me. I was also afraid of offending Yuan Li and affecting our relationship, so time after time, I chose silence. And I believed that by doing this, I wouldn’t offend anyone and wouldn’t suffer any loss myself. On the outside, my decision to do this looked very clever, but I was actually offending God. I saw that the work of the church was being damaged and that my brothers and sisters did not have a good church life, but I wasn’t anxious or sad, and didn’t pay it any heed. I was acting as Satan’s accomplice. God scrutinized everything I did with perfect clarity, but I still thought I was being clever. How pathetic! How hateful! I saw that living by these satanic poisons, I clearly understood the truth but could not put it into practice. I could not distinguish right from wrong, I had no sense of justice and no humanity. What I lived out was entirely the ugly image of Satan, which disgusted even myself, and was even more loathed and hated by God. If I continued to live by these satanic philosophies without practicing the truth, then ultimately I would only completely lose my chance at salvation and be punished by God.

In reflection, I also realized that I had some incorrect viewpoints. I was unable to treat leaders and workers correctly, and this also resulted in me being unable to practice the truth. I read the words of God: “When someone in the church is promoted and cultivated to be a leader, they are merely promoted and cultivated in the straightforward sense; it does not mean that they are already up to standard and competent as a leader, that they are already capable of undertaking leadership work, and can do real work—that is not the case. Most people cannot see through to these things, and based on their own imaginings they look up to those who have been promoted. This is a mistake. No matter how many years they have believed in God for, do those who are promoted really possess the truth reality? Not necessarily. Are they able to implement the work arrangements of the house of God? Not necessarily. Do they have a sense of responsibility? Are they loyal? Are they able to submit? When they encounter an issue, are they able to seek the truth? All of this is unknown. Do these people have God-fearing hearts? And just how great are their God-fearing hearts? Are they able to avoid following their own will when they do things? Are they able to seek God? During the time that they perform leadership work, are they able to frequently come before God to seek the intentions of God? Are they able to lead people into the truth reality? They are certainly incapable of such things. They haven’t received training and they haven’t had enough experiences, so they are incapable of these things. This is why promoting and cultivating someone doesn’t mean they already understand the truth, nor is it saying that they are already capable of doing their duty in a way that is up to standard. … What is the point of Me saying this? It is to let everyone know that they must correctly approach the various types of talented people promoted and cultivated in God’s house, that they must not be harsh in their demands of these people, and, of course, that they must not be unrealistic in their opinion of them either. It is foolish to excessively admire and look up to them; it is inhumane and unrealistic to make overly harsh demands of them. So what is the most reasonable way to treat them? To regard them as ordinary people and, when you need to seek someone out regarding a problem, to fellowship with them and learn from each other’s strengths and complement each other. In addition, it is everyone’s responsibility to supervise leaders and workers to see whether they are doing real work, whether they can use the truth to solve problems; these are the standards and principles for measuring whether a leader or worker is up to standard. If a leader or worker is capable of dealing with and solving general problems, then they are competent. But if they can’t even handle and fix ordinary problems, they are not fit to be a leader or worker, and must be quickly removed from their position. Someone else must be chosen, and the work of the house of God must not be delayed. Delaying the work of the house of God is hurting oneself and others, it is good for no one” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (5)). “Everybody is equal before the truth, and there are no distinctions of age or of lowliness and nobleness for those doing their duties in God’s house. Everybody is equal before their duty, they just do different jobs. There are no distinctions between them based on who has seniority. Before the truth, everybody should keep a humble, submissive, and accepting heart. People should be possessed of this reason and this attitude” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Eight)). God’s words made me understand that all levels of leaders in the church are elected from among the brothers and sisters. That they do the duty of a leader shows that they possess something of the caliber to be leaders. But in promoting them, the house of God only gives them an opportunity to train: It does not mean that they are up to standard as leaders. They are in the period of pursuing changes in their disposition, and unavoidably have some deviations in the process of doing their duty. We should treat this correctly. If there are problems, we can raise them, and seek together with the leaders. In addition, brothers and sisters all have a responsibility to supervise the leaders and protect the work of the church. This is a duty that we should do. Take the election of Yuan Li as an example. The leaders later told me that they had only just been transferred over from another church, and so they were not too familiar with Yuan Li’s consistent behavior. At the time, they considered that there were no suitable people in the church, and saw that on the outside, Yuan Li was quite active in doing her duty and achieved some results in preaching the gospel. Therefore, they agreed that she should be elected as a leader. Their work also contained deviations. From the facts, I saw that everyone has deficiencies, and nobody can do their duty perfectly. Brothers and sisters need to complement each other. In the past, I thought that the leaders were vetting things, and so there couldn’t be any problems, but this was my notions and imaginings. In another regard, when we do our duty in the house of God, it does not matter if we are a leader or an ordinary believer: it is just that we do different duties. In the house of God, there is no higher or lower status. It is absolutely not the case that leaders have a higher status than ordinary brothers and sisters, and what they say goes. The house of God is different to the nonbelieving world. In the house of God, the truth holds power, and righteousness holds power. Because I was educated and conditioned in the country of the great red dragon, I believed that being a leader was the same as being an official–that you had power, and you were a grade above ordinary believers. Even though I discovered problems with the leaders, I didn’t dare raise them, because I thought that putting forward my opinion would be singing a different tune to the leaders, putting them in an awkward position. I also believed that my duty was text-based duty, and that I shouldn’t get involved in matters that were to do with the leaders. I thought that if I got involved in things that were out of my remit, I’d offend the leaders and things would go badly for me. For self-preservation, I treated the leaders and workers of the house of God in the same way that nonbelievers treat officials. In my heart, I simply didn’t believe that the truth held power in the house of God. My viewpoints on things were simply too ridiculous! Actually, in the house of God, it doesn’t matter who puts forward an opinion. As long as it aligns with the truth principles, and is beneficial to the work of the house of God and the brothers and sisters, everyone will accept and adopt it. It’s just like when I reported the problems with Yuan Li. After they understood and verified the situation, the leaders dismissed her. This made me see even more clearly that in the house of God it is the truth that holds power and righteousness that holds power.

One day in 2022, I met Wang Min, a church leader. When I heard Wang Min discuss her state, I discovered that she indulged in comfort and did not bear a burden in the performance of her duty. She said that due to personal matters, she was frequently late to or absent from gatherings and delayed the work of the church. I fellowshipped with her about the meaning of performing duty, but she explained it away, saying she had objective difficulties. Wang Min then started talking about how when she had just started to believe in God, she was influenced by CCP’s baseless rumors and developed some notions about the work of God, and so withdrew and stopped believing. Later, she contracted a serious illness that would not improve. Only then did she come back and continue believing in God. While she was discussing this experience, she did not show the tiniest scrap of understanding or regret at her past betrayal of God. I asked her what reflections and understandings she had about this incident, but she did not give me a straight answer. She defended herself, saying that at the time the CCP rumors were really strong, and that was the only reason she was misled. She even repeated some words that blasphemed against God. Listening to her talk like this, I was really shocked. It was understandable that when she had just started believing in God she could not discern the CCP’s baseless rumors, but now, after believing in God for over a decade, she still repeated words that blasphemed against God. Even worse, she showed no awareness when she said them. I read her some words of God relating to fearing God, and told her about the nature of how she had been talking and acting. After reading the words of God, she still didn’t have any reaction. I thought that this person was quite numb, and wanted to write a letter to the leaders to report the problems with Wang Min. But my heart was conflicted, thinking, “I’ve heard that the upper leaders are planning on cultivating her. Also, it’s the first time I’ve met Wang Min. If I immediately report the problems with her, will the upper leaders say that I’m really arrogant for having discerned a problem with this person after only meeting her once? Will that be seen as suspecting their ability to discern? Also, if what I say is incorrect and affects the church in promoting and cultivating someone, then will the leaders have a bad opinion of me?” When I thought of this, I hesitated. I then realized that I was again thinking of preserving my own interests, and so I silently prayed to God. I remembered the words of God: “Do not always do things for your own sake and do not constantly consider your own interests; do not consider the interests of man, and give no thought to your own pride, reputation, and status. You must first consider the interests of God’s house, and make them your priority. You should be considerate of God’s intentions and begin by contemplating whether or not there have been impurities in the performance of your duty, whether you have been loyal, fulfilled your responsibilities, and given it your all, as well as whether or not you have been wholeheartedly thinking about your duty and the work of the church. You must consider these things. If you think about them frequently and figure them out, it will be easier for you to perform your duty well” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). God’s words gave me a path of practice, and made me feel self-reproachful and ashamed. I could already discern that this person was not someone who pursued the truth, and was unsuited to being a leader. The leaders were still planning to cultivate her. If she really were promoted, then wouldn’t the interests of the house of God be harmed? I could not carry on living in such a selfish and despicable way. I should protect the work of the church, and fulfill my responsibilities and duty. So I then reported the problems with Wang Min to the upper leaders. The leaders, after finding out about the situation, saw that Wang Min was indeed unsuitable for being cultivated, and decided not to promote her for the time being.

In 2023, I heard that Wang Min had been arrested and turned Judas. She had been expelled. When I heard about this, I realized that if I did not report the situation in a timely manner in order to protect myself, the damage done to the church would have been even greater if Wang Min had been promoted. My conscience would have been uneasy for the rest of this life. At the same time, I understood that I had to report people who were not a right person in a timely manner and uphold principles. It is so vital to practice this aspect of the truth! Even if we have a shallow understanding of the truth, cannot see through some people or things, and are a bit inaccurate in reporting problems, this doesn’t matter. The key thing is that if we can protect the work of the church, this heart is truly precious. Later, when I saw anyone in the church do things in a way that was contrary to principles, I was able to report them to the leaders in a timely manner, fulfilling my responsibility to protect the work of the church. I felt that by conducting myself in this way, my heart was at ease and at peace. Thank God for His guidance in making this change in me!