By Zhou Xusheng, China

In March 2022, I was elected as a leader in the church. With the guidance and help of the brothers and sisters I was working with, after a time I was able to discover and resolve some deviations and problems in the work, and slowly the results of the work showed some improvement. My brothers and sisters said that I had work capability. I was very happy, and felt that although I had only been training for a short time, I had good caliber and was able to discover problems and do the work well. I thought I was quite a rare talent! Later, Sister Lu Yao was elected as a leader in the church and was partnered with me. I helped her familiarize herself with and understand the work. After a time I discovered Lu Yao was only able to participate a bit in her work, but couldn’t really shoulder the work she was responsible for. I felt a bit of disdain, “I put so much time and effort into teaching you how to work—why are you making such slow progress! Back when my brothers and sisters were familiarizing me with the work, as soon as someone told me something, I understood it and could extrapolate from it later. Why is this so hard for you? It won’t do. I’m going to have to give you a talking to!” Therefore, I said to her sternly, “I’ve already explained how to do these tasks very clearly. Why can’t you do them yet? Are you taking any care or not?” Lu Yao’s face blushed deep red, and she lowered her head silently. When I saw how sad she looked, I thought to myself, “Did I maybe go too far in what I said? After all, Lu Yao has just started training, and needs to familiarize herself with many tasks. Moreover, she is a bit older and her memory isn’t so good.” However, then I thought again, “Although my tone was a bit harsh, I just wanted to help her familiarize herself with the work as soon as possible,” and I did not reflect on myself.

Later, I was elected to be a preacher, and was helping the newly elected leader, Sister Han Lu, familiarize herself with the work. Once, we were weighing up whether some people accorded with the principles for being cleared out. I saw that some people clearly manifested as evil people, but Han Lu hadn’t discerned it. I felt a bit of disdain in my heart, “You have done cleansing work before. Have we not fellowshipped about principles in this area previously? How have you gone backward instead of making progress?” I then thought that when the upper leaders had fellowshipped with me and guided me with regard to discernment, although I too had deficiencies, I wasn’t as incompetent as her. Therefore, I said to Han Lu sternly, “You have to look at problems in accordance with people’s essence! You can’t just look at irrelevancies!” Han Lu was stunned when I said this, and replied quietly, “I understand the principles in terms of doctrine, but when I’m faced with different people, I just can’t discern them.” When I heard this, I became even more anxious and angry, “In the past I had never done cleansing work, but I understood it as soon as it was explained to me. After all, you’ve done cleansing work before, how can you still lack discernment?” I then sternly rebuked her, “Are you not just making excuses for yourself when you say this? You’ve done cleansing work before, and we have also fellowshipped about the principles before. If you still can’t discern even now, are you not doing your duty with a lack of care?” After she heard me say this, Han Lu lowered her head awkwardly and didn’t say a word. When I saw how Han Lu looked, I thought to myself, “Have I constrained her by the way I talked?” However, when I noticed these problems, I could not stop myself from revealing hotheadedness. Later, I pondered: Why do I constantly reveal hotheadedness when I cultivate people? In that period of time, I prayed to God to seek, and tried my best to restrain myself in how I spoke and acted. However, sometimes I could not stop my anger from exploding, and afterward my heart would be in pain. A few days later, Han Lu gave me a suggestion, saying that my requirements of others were too high and the strict tone of my voice made it hard for others to accept what I said. When I heard what Han Lu said, to begin with, I couldn’t accept it. I thought to myself, “I’m already trying hard to restrain myself so I don’t reveal hotheadedness. Why don’t you reflect on your own problems? How can I be nice to you if you can’t do your work well?” However, I remembered that previously, Lu Yao had said that I made demands of others based on my own stature and now Han Lu was saying the same thing. There was God’s permission within this, and I could not continue to argue my reasoning; I had to submit.

Later, after a sister found out about my state, she found several passages of God’s words for me. Almighty God says: “If, as a church leader or worker, you are to lead God’s chosen ones in entering the truth reality and bearing good testimony to God, of chief importance is to guide people in spending more time reading God’s words and fellowshipping the truth. In this way, God’s chosen ones can have a deeper knowledge of God’s aims in saving man and the purpose of God’s work, and can understand God’s intentions and His various requirements for man, thus allowing them to perform their duty properly and satisfy God. … Can you make people understand the truth and enter into reality if you only preach words and doctrines to lecture and prune them? If what you fellowship about is not practical, if it is nothing but words and doctrines, then no matter how much you prune and lecture them, it will be to no avail. Do you think people being afraid of you, and doing what you tell them to, and not daring to object, is the same as them understanding the truth and being submissive? This is a major mistake; life entry is not so simple. Some leaders are like a new manager trying to make a strong impression, they try to impose their new-found authority on God’s chosen ones so that everyone submits to them, thinking that this will make their job easier. If you lack the truth reality, then before long your true stature will be revealed, your true colors will be exposed, and you could well be eliminated. In some administrative work, a little pruning and discipline is acceptable. But if you are incapable of fellowshipping the truth, in the end, you will still be unable to solve problems, and it will affect the results of the work. If, no matter what issues appear in the church, you keep lecturing people and casting blame—if all you ever do is acting in a bad-tempered manner—then this is your corrupt disposition revealing itself, and you have shown the ugly face of your corruption. If you always stand on a pedestal and lecture people like this, then as time goes on, people will be unable to receive the provision of life from you, they will not gain anything practical, and instead will detest you and be disgusted by you. In addition, there will be some people who, having been influenced by you due to a lack of discernment, will likewise lecture others and prune them. They will likewise get angry and lose their tempers. Not only will you be unable to solve people’s problems—you will also be fostering their corrupt dispositions. And is that not leading them onto the path toward perdition? Is that not an act of evil? A leader should lead primarily by fellowshipping about the truth and providing life. If you always stand on a pedestal and lecture others, will they be able to understand the truth? If you work in this way for a while, when people come to see you clearly for what you are, they are going to desert you. Can you bring people before God by working in this way? You certainly cannot; all you can do is foul up the work of the church and cause all God’s chosen people to loathe you and desert you” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “Do not think that you understand everything. I tell you that all you have seen and experienced is insufficient for you to understand even a thousandth of My management plan. So why then do you act so haughty? That little bit of talent and tiny bit of knowledge you have are insufficient for Jesus to use in even a single second of His work! How much experience do you actually possess? What you have seen and all that you have heard in your lifetime and what you have imagined are less than the work I do in a single moment! You had best not nitpick and find fault. You can be as arrogant as you want, but you are nothing more than a created being not even the equal of an ant! All that you hold within your belly is less than what is in an ant’s belly! Do not think, just because you have gained some experience and seniority, that this entitles you to gesticulate wildly and talk big. Are not your experience and your seniority the product of the words I have uttered? Do you believe that they were in exchange for your own labor and toil?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Two Incarnations Complete the Significance of the Incarnation). When I had finished reading God’s words, I felt really ashamed. Ever since I had become a leader and my work had yielded some results, I had been smug and self-satisfied. I thought that my caliber was good, I was very intelligent, and I got things as soon as others explained them, and so I started to look down on my brothers and sisters. When I was helping Lu Yao with her work, I saw that she still couldn’t work independently even after she had been training for a while, and I felt disdain in my heart. I questioned why I could do it but she couldn’t, and even rebuked and berated her from on high. After I was elected to be a preacher, I again used myself as the standard to measure others against when I made requirements of Han Lu. When I saw that Han Lu didn’t have a grasp of principles, I privately jumped to the conclusion that she lacked care, and also gave her a dressing-down. This meant that Han Lu grew more and more repressed and constrained in her relationship with me. I realized that I treated people without principles. Instead of treating them differently according to their stature and caliber, I used myself as the standard to measure people against. When my brothers and sisters didn’t meet my requirements, I would disdain them and look down on them, and rebuke them from on high. Actually, without the enlightenment of God’s words and the guidance and help of my brothers and sisters, I wouldn’t know how to do the work, either. However, I shamelessly used this as capital and constantly disdained and looked down upon my brothers and sisters. I truly was utterly lacking in reason! God’s requirements of leaders and workers are that they should be able to fellowship on the truth to resolve problems, be able to point out any deviations and problems in the work of their brothers and sisters, and guide them in how to enter into principles. However, I not only failed to fulfill my own responsibilities, but I also rebuked others from on high, and harmed my brothers and sisters. How was this doing my duty? I felt deep regret when I thought about what I had done. How could I have been so lacking in humanity, and not have given my brothers and sisters the tiniest scrap of genuine help and love?

One day, I read the words of God and finally understood why I could not treat people correctly. Almighty God says: “There are many kinds of corrupt dispositions that are included within the disposition of Satan, but the one that is most obvious and that stands out the most is an arrogant disposition. Arrogance is the root of man’s corrupt disposition. The more arrogant people are, the more unreasonable they are, and the more unreasonable they are, the more liable they are to resist God. How serious is this problem? Not only do people with an arrogant disposition consider everyone else beneath them, but, worst of all, they are even condescending toward God, and they have no God-fearing hearts. Even though people might appear to believe in God and follow Him, they do not treat Him as God at all. They always feel that they possess the truth and think the world of themselves. This is the essence and root of the arrogant disposition, and it comes from Satan. Therefore, the problem of arrogance must be resolved. Feeling that one is better than others—that is a trivial matter. The critical issue is that one’s arrogant disposition prevents one from submitting to God, His sovereignty, and His arrangements; such a person always feels inclined to compete with God for power and control others. This sort of person does not have a God-fearing heart in the slightest, to say nothing of loving God or submitting to Him” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). “If, in your heart, you truly understand the truth, then you will know how to practice the truth and submit to God, and will naturally embark on the path of pursuing the truth. If the path you walk is the right one, and in line with God’s intentions, then the work of the Holy Spirit will not leave you—in which case there will be less and less chance of you betraying God. Without the truth, it is easy to do evil, and you will do it despite yourself. For example, if you have an arrogant and conceited disposition, then being told not to oppose God makes no difference, you can’t help yourself, it is beyond your control. You would not do it on purpose; you would do it under the domination of your arrogant and conceited nature. Your arrogance and conceit would make you look down on God and see Him as being of no account; they would cause you to exalt yourself, constantly put yourself on display; they would make you scorn others, they would leave no one in your heart but yourself; they would rob you of God’s place in your heart, and ultimately cause you to sit in the place of God and demand that people submit to you, and make you venerate your own thoughts, ideas, and notions as the truth. So much evil is done by people under the dominance of their arrogant and conceited nature! To resolve the problem of doing evil, they must first resolve their nature. Without a change in disposition, it would not be possible to bring a fundamental resolution to this problem” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Pursuing the Truth Can One Achieve a Change in Disposition). As I pondered the words of God, I understood that an arrogant nature is the root cause of people resisting God. I thought about how I had gained some work experience and achieved some results in my work, and so believed that my caliber was good and I was very intelligent. When I was guiding my sisters in doing their work, I didn’t treat them in accordance with principles, and didn’t make demands of them in accordance with their stature and caliber. Instead, I used myself as the standard to measure them against and constantly compared myself with my sisters. When my sisters didn’t meet my requirements, I disdained, rebuked, and berated them. In doing my duty, I did not treat people in accordance with the truth principles, but used my own experiences and perspectives as my basis for viewing people and things. Was I not treating my own thoughts and viewpoints as the truth principles? I thought about how Lu Yao and Han Lu had both just started training to do the work of the church. Although they had deficiencies, they also wanted to do the work well and hoped to get some help from me. However, I was living in an arrogant disposition and simply did not understand their difficulties at all. Instead, I demanded that they be the same as me, and berated and rebuked them if they did not meet my requirements, resulting in them being constrained by me. When I understood this, I felt scared in my heart. I had never thought that an arrogant disposition could make me do things like this and even be so numb to it that I didn’t realize at all. I felt like I was really in danger, and I prayed to God in repentance, unwilling to continue living by my arrogant disposition.

Later, I read another passage of God’s words, and found out how to treat people in accordance with the truth principles. Almighty God says: “How you are to treat others is clearly shown or hinted at in God’s words; the attitude with which God treats humanity is the attitude people should adopt in their treatment of one another. How does God treat each and every person? Some people are of immature stature; or are young; or have believed in God for only a short time; or are not bad by nature essence, not malicious, but are just a bit ignorant or lacking in caliber. Or they are subject to too many constraints, and are yet to understand the truth, yet to have life entry, so it is difficult for them to keep from doing foolish things or committing ignorant acts. But God does not fixate on people’s passing foolishness; He looks only at their hearts. If they are resolved to pursue the truth, they are then correct, and when this is their objective, then God is observing them, waiting for them, and giving them time and opportunities that allow them to enter. It is not the case that God will write them off over a single transgression. That is something people often do; God never treats people like that. If God does not treat people in that way, then why do people treat others in that way? Does this not show their corrupt disposition? This is precisely their corrupt disposition. You have to look at how God treats ignorant and foolish people, how He treats those with immature stature, how He treats the normal revelations of humanity’s corrupt disposition, and how He treats those who are malicious. God treats different people in different ways, and He also has various ways of managing different people’s myriad conditions. You must understand these truths. Once you have understood these truths, you will then know how to experience matters and treat people according to principles” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. To Gain the Truth, One Must Learn From the People, Events, and Things Nearby). From God’s words I saw that God treats people in an especially principled way. God’s requirements are different depending on people’s caliber and stature. He does not use a one-size-fits-all approach, but treats people fairly based on their actual circumstances. Although Lu Yao’s caliber was a bit poor, it wasn’t the case that she was completely not up to the task. Moreover, she did her duty steadily, and once she understood, she was able to put in time and effort, doing her utmost to do it well. As for things she didn’t understand, I needed to patiently fellowship with her and guide her. Sometimes when I couldn’t explain things clearly, I needed to actually walk her through the task. After all, when you have just started training to do a duty, there is always a process of familiarization. Although Han Lu had done cleansing work before, this didn’t mean that she understood everything and had seen through everything. I should have fellowshipped and helped her instead of rebuking and berating her. After understanding this, I prayed to God, willing to treat my brothers and sisters fairly and in accordance with the truth principles, fulfilling my responsibility.

I thought about how the reason I was so arrogant was that I constantly used my good caliber and my speed in picking things up as capital. Later, after reading the words of God I finally gained some understanding of this problem. God says: “Would you say it is difficult to fulfill one’s duty adequately? In fact, it is not; people must only be able to take a stance of humility, possess a bit of sense, and adopt an appropriate position. No matter how educated you are, what awards you have won, or what you have achieved, and no matter how high your status and rank might be, you must let go of all of these things, you must get off your high horse—this all counts for nothing. In God’s house, however great these glories are, they cannot be higher than the truth, for these superficial things are not the truth, and cannot take its place. You must be clear about this issue. If you say, ‘I am very gifted, I have a very sharp mind, I have quick reflexes, I am a quick learner, and I have an exceedingly good memory, so I am qualified to make the final decision,’ if you always use these things as capital, and see them as precious, and as positive, then this is trouble. If your heart is occupied by these things, if they have taken root in your heart, it will be hard for you to accept the truth—and the consequences of that don’t bear thinking about. Thus, you must first put down and deny those things that you love, that seem nice, that are precious to you. Those things are not the truth; rather, they can block you from entering the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). From God’s words, I understood that a person’s caliber and gifts are inherent qualities—they come from God. Possessing these does not mean that a person has truth realities. In the past, I constantly believed that my caliber was good, that I was quick to comprehend, and that I could discover and resolve problems. I used this as capital and felt smug about it. However, I now saw that by living off this capital, I became more and more arrogant and conceited. Other people amounted to nothing in my eyes, and God was not in my heart. Although these inherent qualities are beneficial in doing the work and doing my duty, if I cannot accept the truth, then however good my caliber or however outstanding my gifts, I will still only be able to resist God.

Later, due to the requirements of the work, I guided newly elected leaders and workers from another church in how to do the work. Some of them had just started to train and some were newcomers, and there were many tasks they didn’t know how to do. Because the persecution of the CCP was so serious, we couldn’t discuss things in person, so I prepared detailed work procedures for them. However, afterward I saw that they still lacked direction in their work, and I was about to reveal hotheadedness again, “In the past, my brothers and sisters guided me like this, and I understood straight away and was even able to extrapolate to other things. Why is this so hard with you?” When I was about to get angry with them and berate them, I suddenly remembered the words of God: “The attitude with which God treats humanity is the attitude people should adopt in their treatment of one another” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. To Gain the Truth, One Must Learn From the People, Events, and Things Nearby). I thought about how they were newcomers and some of them had just started to train. It was completely normal that they didn’t grasp the principles straight away. Moreover, when communicating via letter, it is inevitable that some things will be expressed unclearly and some things will be hard to understand. I prayed to God to seek how to help them learn how to do the work. At the time, I just happened to read a passage of God’s words: “You must fulfill the responsibilities you should; you must consider the churches where those who are relatively weak and possessed of relatively poor work capability are in charge. Leaders and workers must pay special attention and provide special guidance in these matters. What does special guidance refer to? Besides fellowshipping on the truth, you must also provide more specific and detailed direction and assistance, which requires more effort in terms of communication. If you explain the work to them and they still do not understand, and do not know how to implement it, or even if they understand it in terms of doctrine and seem to know how to implement it, but you are still unsure and a bit worried about how the actual implementation will go, what should you do then? You need to personally go deep into the local church to guide them and to implement the task with them. Tell them the principles while making specific arrangements concerning the tasks that need to be done according to the requirements of the work arrangements, such as what to do first and what to do next, and how to properly allocate people—organize all of these things properly. This is practically guiding them in their work, as opposed to just shouting slogans or giving random orders, and lecturing them with some doctrines, and then considering your work done—that is not a manifestation of doing specific work, and shouting slogans and bossing people around are not the responsibilities of leaders and workers. Once the local church leaders or supervisors can shoulder the work, and the work has entered onto the right track, and there are basically no major issues, only then can the leader or worker leave” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (10)). I thought about how they were newcomers after all. They had a shallow understanding of the truth and didn’t have a grasp of principles, so it was really not easy for them to understand when I had only told them a work procedure. Later, my partner and I analyzed the problems in each item of work practically for them. We fellowshipped about principles regarding different problems and pointed out paths to resolve them. After working together in this way for a while, they all found a direction and path in their duties. When I saw this result, I felt very excited. I realized that if you treat people according to principles, and actually guide your brothers and sisters in how to do their work, your heart feels at ease.

Through my experiences in this period, I gained some understanding of my own arrogant disposition, and also understood more about the principles of how to treat people. Although I still sometimes feel like revealing hotheadedness when I see brothers and sisters with poor caliber or doing things slowly, I can promptly pray to God and treat them according to principle. Through doing my duty in this way, my heart feels more at ease.