By Su Hang, China

In November 2023, I was elected to be a preacher, responsible for the work of two churches. When I found out about the result, I was quite surprised and a little nervous. I thought, “Preachers have a wide remit and a heavy responsibility. I have been a preacher before, but because I didn’t do real work and indulged in the benefits of status, and the various items of work in the church bore no results, I was dismissed. Now, everywhere is facing major waves of arrest by the CCP and the environment is very adverse. If I arrange the work inappropriately and damage the interests of the house of God, then I will certainly be held accountable. I might even be dismissed. If I do too much evil and am revealed and eliminated, then I will lose my chance of salvation. In that case, won’t I be left with nothing from all these years of belief in God–just like when you try to carry water in a wicker basket? It would be better to just be responsible for one church as a leader. That way, I won’t be on the hook as much.” I planned to write a letter to the upper leadership to explain that I was slow to comprehend things and they should find another candidate so as not to hinder the work of the church and the life entry of my brothers and sisters. However, then I thought, “God is sovereign over and arranges the people, events, and things I encounter every day. Previously, I failed at doing this duty. Could it be that God is giving me a chance to repent by doing this duty again? Moreover, many brothers and sisters have been arrested, and people are needed for the work of the church. I cannot go against my conscience and refuse this duty at this time. That would be too hurtful to God.” I wanted to satisfy God, but I was also afraid of not doing my duty well and taking the responsibility. I felt very conflicted inwardly, and that night, I tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep, my heart feeling like it was being crushed by a large boulder.

The next morning, I opened up to the sister I was partnered with, Wang Nan, and sought with her about my state. She looked up a passage of God’s words for me. God says: “Antichrists harbor these things in their hearts, all of which are misunderstandings, opposition, judgment, and resistance against God. They lack any knowledge of God’s work whatsoever. While prying into God’s words, prying into God’s disposition, identity, and essence, they come to such conclusions. Antichrists bury these things deep in their hearts, admonishing themselves: ‘Caution is the parent of safety; it’s best to fly under the radar; the bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot; and it’s lonely at the top! No matter when, never be that bird sticking its head out, never climb too high; the higher you climb, the harder you fall.’ They do not believe that the words of God are the truth, and they do not believe that His disposition is righteous and holy. They regard all this through human notions and imaginings, and they approach the work of God with human perspectives, human thoughts, and human guile, employing the logic and thinking of Satan to delineate God’s disposition, identity, and essence. Obviously, not only do antichrists neither accept nor acknowledge God’s disposition, identity, and essence; on the contrary they are full of notions, opposition, and rebelliousness toward God and have not the least shred of real knowledge of Him. Antichrists’ definition of God’s work, God’s disposition, and God’s love is a question mark—dubiousness, and they are full of skepticism and full of denial and slander for it; so what, then, of His identity? God’s disposition represents His identity; with such a regard of God’s disposition as theirs, their regard of God’s identity is self-evident—direct denial. This is the essence of antichrists” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Ten: They Despise the Truth, Brazenly Flout Principles, and Ignore the Arrangements of God’s House (Part Six)). God exposed that antichrists do not admit that the words of God are the truth. They do not believe in God’s righteousness, and still less do they believe that the truth reigns in the house of God. They rely on their notions and imaginings to weigh up and delimit God’s identity and essence, and are full of doubts about God’s righteousness. They deny God’s trustworthiness and righteousness and believe that God is not fair and righteous. This is blaspheming against God. Comparing myself to the exposure in God’s words, I saw that the disposition I had revealed was identical to that of an antichrist. I had been elected to be a preacher in this election, but my heart was filled with guardedness against and doubts of God. I worried that because my remit would be too large and the responsibility too weighty, if I didn’t do my duty well and disrupted the work of the church, not only would I be dismissed, I would also be at risk of being eliminated. I used my own brain, notions, and imaginings to view God’s work, fallaciously believing that if you bear a large responsibility in doing your duty you will be revealed quickly and finding excuses to refuse my duty. I didn’t understand God’s righteous disposition, and thought of the house of God as being the same as the world, lacking in fairness and righteousness. This is blaspheming against God. I thought about how the house of God dismisses and eliminates people according to principles. It is not the case that you will be eliminated just because you didn’t do the work well–it depends on the circumstances. Some people are dismissed because problems and deviations appear in their duty and they don’t turn things around after being given fellowship and help on multiple occasions. It’s just like when I was a preacher before and didn’t do real work. During that time, leaders and workers fellowshipped with me and helped me, but I never changed and brought disruption to the work, so I was dismissed. However, dismissal is not the same as elimination. When I reflected on myself and had undergone some repentance and change, the church arranged a suitable duty for me again. I saw that dismissal was one way for God to save me. Some people’s caliber is quite poor and they are not up to doing certain work. In this situation, they can be reassigned to a suitable duty, which is beneficial to their life entry and the work of the church. However, evil people and antichrists consistently cause disruptions and disturbances in their duty. However they are fellowshipped with, they never turn things around; they stubbornly refuse to repent, and they do a myriad of evil deeds. Then they must be cleared out or expelled from the church. The house of God deals with people according to principles. In the house of God, the truth reigns and righteousness reigns. I had to view people and things in accordance with God’s words. That God graced me this time with doing a preacher’s duty again was Him giving me an opportunity to repent and change. This was God’s love, and I should not put my guard up against God and misunderstand God. I prayed to God, willing to turn things around, and sought the truth to resolve my own problems.

When I was preparing to take over the preacher’s duty, my heart was still somewhat on tenterhooks. It just so happened that Sister Liu Xin had been in this state previously as well, so she looked up several experiential testimony articles for me to read, and a passage of God’s words quoted in them was very helpful to me. Almighty God says: “Some people are afraid of taking responsibility while performing their duty. If the church gives them a job to do, they will first consider whether the job requires them to take responsibility, and if it does, they will not accept the job. Their conditions for performing a duty are, first, that it must be a slack job; second, that it is not busy or tiring; and third, that no matter what they do, they do not take any responsibility. This is the only kind of duty they take on. What sort of a person is this? Is this not a slippery, deceitful person? They do not want to shoulder even the smallest amount of responsibility. They even fear that leaves will break their skull when they fall from trees. What duty can a person like this perform? What use could they have in the house of God? The work of the house of God has to do with the work of battling Satan, as well as spreading the kingdom gospel. What duty does not entail responsibilities? Would you say that being a leader carries responsibility? Are their responsibilities not all the greater, and must they not take responsibility all the more? Regardless of whether you spread the gospel, testify, make videos, and so on—no matter what work you do—so long as it pertains to the truth principles, it carries with it responsibilities. If the performance of your duty is unprincipled, it will affect the work of God’s house, and if you are afraid of taking responsibility, then you cannot perform any duty. Is someone who fears taking responsibility in performing their duty cowardly, or is there a problem with their disposition? You must be able to tell the difference. The fact is that this is not an issue of cowardice. If that person were after wealth, or they were doing something in their own interest, how could they be so brave? They would take on any risk. But when they do things for the church, for God’s house, they take on no risk at all. Such people are selfish and vile, the most treacherous of all. Anyone who does not take responsibility in performing a duty is not the least bit sincere to God, to say nothing of their loyalty. What sort of person dares to take responsibility? What sort of person has the courage to bear a heavy burden? Someone who takes the lead and goes bravely forth at the most crucial moment in the work of God’s house, who is not afraid to bear a heavy responsibility and endure great hardship when they see the work that is most important and crucial. That is someone loyal to God, a good soldier of Christ. Is it the case that everyone who fears taking responsibility in their duty does so because they do not understand the truth? No; it is a problem in their humanity. They have no sense of justice or responsibility, they are selfish and vile people, not true-hearted believers in God, and they do not accept the truth in the least. For this reason, they cannot be saved. Believers in God must pay a great price in order to gain the truth, and they will encounter many obstacles to practicing it. They must forsake things, abandon their fleshly interests, and endure some suffering. Only then will they be able to put the truth into practice. So, can one who fears taking responsibility practice the truth? They certainly cannot practice the truth, let alone gain it. They are afraid of practicing the truth, of incurring a loss to their interests; they are afraid of being humiliated, of disparagement, and of judgment, and they do not dare to practice the truth. Consequently, they cannot gain it, and no matter how many years they believe in God, they cannot attain His salvation” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). God says that those who are afraid of taking responsibility in doing their duty are selfish, despicable, treacherous, and deceitful. This type of person has no humanity; they are not true believers in God. They can only be spurned and eliminated by God. I thought back to my recent behavior. I saw that I was the type of person exposed by God, afraid that leaves would break my skull when they fell from trees. When I was elected to be a preacher, although I was aware that the environment was adverse and that the various items of work were short of people, I was selfish and despicable and protected myself. I waved the banner of protecting the work of the church and the life entry of my brothers and sisters to covertly refuse my duty and even believed that I was wise to do so. Actually, every thought I had was for my own sake. I saw that my disposition truly was treacherous and deceitful! I lived by the satanic poisons of “Never lift a finger without reward” and “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.” Whatever I did, I did for myself. I believed in God, but God was not in my heart–I was just like the disbelievers. If I didn’t change, I would ruin myself. Those brothers and sisters who genuinely believe in God and are loyal to God can show consideration for God’s intentions; no matter how adverse the external environment, they are willing to shoulder a heavy burden to spread the gospel of the kingdom, positively and actively doing their duty without considering personal gains or losses. Some brothers and sisters even do multiple jobs: One person takes on several duties, suffers and pays a price, and ultimately achieves good results. However, when I looked at myself in comparison, I had wanted to refuse my duty at a crucial time when people were needed for the work of the house of God. I was utterly lacking in conscience! I thought back to how I had been dismissed from my duty previously due to indulging in the benefits of status and not doing real work. God did not treat me in accordance with my transgressions, but even gave me a chance to repent. I should cherish this even more, and should accept this duty and shoulder this responsibility. When I had understood God’s intention, I was willing to accept this duty from the bottom of my heart.

Later, I came before God again and prayed to God to seek what was causing me to constantly think about and plan for my own way out in doing my duty. I read the words of God: “It is no accident that antichrists are able to do their duty—they absolutely do their duty with their own intentions and purposes and the desire to gain blessings. Whatever duty they do, their purpose and attitude are of course inseparable from gaining blessings, the good destination and the good prospects and destiny which they think about and are concerned with day and night. They are like businesspeople who don’t talk about anything besides their work. Whatever antichrists do is all linked to fame, gain, and status—it is all linked to gaining blessings and prospects and destiny. Deep down, their hearts are full of such things; this is the nature essence of antichrists. It is precisely because of this kind of nature essence that others are able to clearly see that their ultimate end is to be eliminated” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). God exposes that antichrists bring the intention of gaining blessings into their belief in God, and try to bargain with God. They simply do not believe in God to pursue a change in their dispositions or gain the truth at all. They are walking on the wrong path, and their final ending will be elimination. When I compared myself with the words of God, I saw that the perspective behind my pursuit was identical to that of an antichrist. From when I started to believe in God to now, I had only ever had one aim: to gain blessings. I thought about how previously in order to have a good outcome and destination and be saved and survive in the future, I was willing to believe in God and do my duty no matter how my family persecuted me, and even if I had to leave my family behind. Once I was nearly arrested by the police, but I didn’t shrink back afterward and carried on doing my duty actively, just as before. Now when the duty of a preacher was calling on me again, I was afraid of not doing it well, being held responsible, and not having a good outcome, and so I wanted to decline this duty to preserve myself. No matter whether I was willing to do my duty or not, the first thing I considered was my own interests, and it was all to gain blessings. I saw that my nature was selfish and deceitful, and that my belief in God was actually trying to bargain with God and trick God. I brought the intention of gaining blessings into my belief in God, and could not simply do my duty to satisfy God. I only expended myself somewhat when there were benefits to be had. Doing my duty in this way was purely transactional, and there was no sincerity in it at all. In my belief in God, the perspective behind what I pursued was mistaken, and the path I was walking was going in the opposite direction to God’s requirements. How could I be saved if I carried on like this? If I didn’t turn around, I would only end up being eliminated by God.

Later, I read the words of God: “How, then, should an honest person behave? They should submit to God’s arrangements, be loyal to the duty they are supposed to perform, and strive to satisfy God’s intentions. This manifests itself in several ways: One is accepting your duty with an honest heart, not considering your fleshly interests, not being half-hearted about it, and not plotting for your own benefit. Those are manifestations of honesty. Another is putting all your heart and strength into performing your duty well, doing things properly, and putting your heart and love into your duty to satisfy God. These are the manifestations an honest person should have while performing their duty” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). I understood that to be an honest person, you should first have an honest heart and do your duty well only to satisfy God, without considering yourself or planning for yourself. However, as I did my duty, I schemed for myself at every turn. My heart was too deceitful! I thought of Noah. He had a simple and honest heart. When God instructed him to build the ark, he was able to show consideration for God’s heart and accept God’s commission. He was obedient and submissive, and did not think of blessings or calamity; in the end, he completed the ark in accordance with God’s requirements. Although I am unworthy of comparison with Noah, I must emulate him and be an obedient and submissive person, accept my duty with a simple and honest heart, do my best to do the things that I am able to do, and strive to meet the requirements of being an honest person. Two days later, I replied to the leaders, saying that I was willing to do the duty of a preacher.

Afterward, a letter from the upper leaders arrived, saying that the work of one church had been paralyzed after a major wave of arrests and the aftermath work needed handling. They asked if I could do it. When I read the letter, my heart turned a somersault, “If I don’t do the work well, I’m the one with the ultimate responsibility.” I realized that this thought was incorrect, and that I was still being afraid of taking responsibility. I read the words of God: “In another respect, you have to positively and proactively cooperate, do your utmost to perform well the duty you ought to perform, and to fulfill your responsibilities and obligations. This is what a created being should do” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Pursuing the Truth Can One Resolve Their Notions and Misunderstandings of God). “If you truly have a sense of burden, and feel like performing your duty is your personal responsibility, and that if you don’t, you are not fit to live, and are a beast, that only if you perform your duty properly are you worthy of being called a human being, and can face your own conscience—if you have this sense of burden when you perform your duty—then you will be able to do everything conscientiously, and will be able to seek the truth and do things according to the principles, and so will be able to do your duty properly and satisfy God. If you are worthy of the mission that God has given you, and of all that God has sacrificed for you and His expectations of you, then this is really making an effort” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. To Perform One’s Duty Well, One Must at Least Be Possessed of a Conscience and Reason). God’s words pointed out a path of practice to me. I had to positively and proactively fulfill my duty. The work of this church had been paralyzed, and it required detailed planning and arrangements; the aftermath work also needed handling as quickly as possible. It was my responsibility to protect the interests of the house of God and preserve the safety of my brothers and sisters. If I continued to consider my own way out and not do my duty out of fear of taking responsibility, then I was not worthy of being a human.

Afterward, I went to that church to deal with the aftermath work. In that time, I encountered many difficulties, and I relied on God for things I didn’t understand, sought help from the upper leadership, and worked harmoniously with my brothers and sisters. Later, with God’s leadership, the books of God’s words were safely transferred, and my brothers and sisters did their duties to the best of their abilities. Although the gospel work was still not making any progress, I was devoting all my strength to working on it, and I was no longer afraid of taking responsibility. I knew that this was my duty and my responsibility, and what I should rightfully do. When I thought this, I felt calm and at ease. I read more of God’s words: “For now, don’t focus on what your destination or outcome will be, or what will happen and what the future holds, or whether you will be able to avoid disaster and not die—don’t think of these things or make requests regarding these things. Just focus on God’s words and requirements, and come to pursue the truth, do your duty well, satisfy God’s intentions, and avoid disappointing God’s six thousand years of waiting, and His six thousand years of anticipation. Give God some comfort; let Him see hope in you, and let His wishes be realized in you. Tell Me, would God treat you unjustly if you did so? Of course not! And even if the end results aren’t as people would have wished, how should they treat that fact, as created beings? They should submit in all things to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, without having any personal plans. Is this not the perspective created beings should take? (It is.) It’s right to have this mindset” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. Why Man Must Pursue the Truth). After listening to God’s heartfelt words, I felt God’s painstaking intentions in saving people, and my heart was very touched. God’s six-thousand-year management plan is all for the sake of saving mankind. God hopes that we will pursue the truth earnestly and pursue changes in our dispositions, live out a true human likeness, and be able to obey God’s words, submit to God, and worship God. In this way, God’s heart will be comforted. No matter what my outcome is in the future, the key thing I need to do right now is to pursue the truth and do my duty well to satisfy God. Thank God!