By Chen Mo, China

I was born into an intellectual family. My parents always taught me that “Other pursuits are small, books excel them all,” “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies,” and “Stand out above the rest, and bring honor to your ancestors.” I accepted these thoughts and ideas into my heart, and always worked hard to strive toward them. I wanted to change my destiny through acquiring knowledge, and believed that if I got into college I would have a respectable job. I would be able to sit in an office without doing hard physical work, and people would look up to me. However, things did not go as I wished, and I did not get into college. Later, I became a worker in a cement products factory. After I got married, my mother-in-law despised me because I was an ordinary worker, and often made things difficult for me. She would say I was nothing but a lousy worker. I didn’t dare to say a word in response when my mother-in-law said these mocking and derogatory things, and I felt very sad. I decided that I would study academic subjects while raising my child, so that after getting into college I could become an official and my mother-in-law would no longer look down on me.

In 1986, I finally took the college entrance examination and obtained an associate degree just as I’d hoped. After graduation, I returned to the factory and was promoted to a cadre position there. Later, I was promoted to director of the feed sub-plant. My classmates and colleagues all admired me very much, saying I was a powerful woman, and all my relatives and friends praised me. All those who knew me would warmly greet me when they ran into me. My mother-in-law’s attitude also changed from before, and she would always have a smile on her face when talking to me. She would even boast about my abilities to the neighbors. I was finally able to hold my head high. I couldn’t help but sigh, “There is such a difference between having status and not having status!” As I basked in other people’s praise, it occurred to me that I still had a responsibility: I had to cultivate my son properly, so that, like me, he would acquire more knowledge and get into college. Then, in the future, he would surpass me, be able to pursue a career in government, gain power and status, stand out from the rest, and honor our ancestors. Then, as his mother, I could also bask in his reflected glory. So when my son reached middle school, I used my connections to get him into the best local school, often told him to study hard, and taught him that only by getting into college could he get a good job and have a bright future. My son didn’t let me down, and his academic performance was always among the top six in his class. His class teacher told me, “You have to cultivate your son properly. He is very smart, and has the potential to get into Tsinghua or Peking University.” After hearing the teacher say this, I felt really happy, and thought, “My son is smart, and it won’t be a problem for him to get into a top university. Finding a good job in the future will be a piece of cake for him.” I had a successful career and my son was doing really well in school. This filled me with hope for the future. However, what happened next was completely unexpected.

From the second half of 1995, the feed sub-plant I had contracted went from being profitable to losing money. I was extremely worried about this. I also got seriously ill with tuberculosis, and I was so weak that I couldn’t go to work, so I terminated the contract early, and the factory did not pay me. At that time, my husband had been laid off for many years and had never been able to find a suitable job. After buying an apartment, our remaining savings were almost gone. My son was about to go to high school, which was expensive. Without a source of income, how could we continue to support him in his studies? Later, my husband asked me to set up a street stall with him to sell goods. I was in great pain and thought, “I, a respected factory director, have fallen to the point of having to sell things on the street. If my colleagues from the factory or the people who know me see this, I will utterly lose face!” However, then I thought, “I might lose face now, but when my son graduates from university and becomes successful, he will bring me prestige. To save money for my son’s university education, it’s worth my losing some face and enduring a little suffering.”

In April 1998, I was fortunate to accept Almighty God’s work of the last days. I understood from God’s words that this stage of God’s work is His final work to save mankind, and that if people do not believe in God and do not accept His salvation, regardless of how much knowledge they acquire or how high their degree or status is, they will ultimately perish. But thoughts and ideas of pursuing knowledge to change one’s destiny were very deeply rooted in me, and I still hoped that my son would stand out above the rest and bring honor to our ancestors. Unexpectedly, when my son was in his first year of high school, he stopped wanting to study and wanted to join the army instead. I was surprised, and thought, “Being a soldier is a tough job. What potential for future development is there with that? Only by getting into university and earning a high degree can you find a good job. Only then will you have the opportunity to obtain a senior, well-paid official position and become a person of high standing.” I absolutely couldn’t let my son do what he wanted. Therefore, I tried to gently persuade him by saying, “Son, you are really clever. The teachers all said that you are a good candidate for Tsinghua or Peking University. There are just two years before the university entrance exam. If you drop out of school and join the army now, you will regret it for the rest of your life. When soldiers are discharged from the army, they are always classed as workers no matter what job they are assigned, and there is no prospect for development. You can only find a good job if you have a university degree. At the very least, you will get a desk job, something official, an established position. If you work hard, you will have many opportunities for promotion. You can only gain a foothold in this society if you have a successful career and status. Nowadays, competition in society is so fierce, and without knowledge and a degree, you will be an inferior person. I am telling you all this for the sake of your future.” After repeated persuasion, he continued to attend school, albeit reluctantly. One morning, my husband saw that our son was dawdling at home, unwilling to go to school, so he beat him. My son immediately ran away from home and we didn’t find him until very late that evening. I knew my child didn’t want to study and wanted to join the army, but I couldn’t let him. I tried every way I could to persuade him, and he eventually, though reluctantly, agreed to go to school. At that time, my son was frowning every day and didn’t want to talk to us, but I thought, “Whether you can understand it now or not, when you become famous and successful in the future, you will understand our painstaking intention.” Later, he was indeed admitted to university, and I was very happy. All my years of hoping had finally paid off. However, though I was happy, I was also worried about the cost of sending him to university. Our family had no extra money to send him to university, so I sold the apartment that I had worked hard for half my life to buy to pay for my son’s tuition, and rented an undecorated apartment to live in. When my son was about to graduate, I paid someone 10,000 yuan to secure him a job in a bank. I made all the preparations for my son’s future, and was just waiting for him to get his degree and start working at the bank. However, another unexpected thing happened.

One day, my son told me that he had dropped out of university in his final year. He didn’t pay his tuition fees, so he couldn’t get his degree. When I heard this news, I couldn’t believe my ears. Had I heard it wrong? However, when I saw my son’s composed expression, I knew it was true, and I couldn’t stop crying. I cried as I complained and berated my son. I was so angry that I felt weak all over. I thought, “I have worked so hard over the years to create the conditions for him to go to university. I just hoped that he would be successful and bring honor to me as his mother. I can’t believe he did this. How will I face people from now on?” At the time, I really wanted to grab hold of a live wire and end it all. During that time, I couldn’t eat, and I couldn’t sleep either. My mind was full of worries about my child’s future. “What should I do in the future?” I thought. “I’ve sold the apartment to support his education, and we don’t even have a stable place to live now. Half a lifetime of hard work is ruined!” When my pain was at its peak, I prayed to God that He would lead me out of my pain.

While seeking, I heard a hymn of God’s words “Man’s Fate Is Controlled by the Hands of God”: “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Even if man always rushes and busies himself on his own behalf, he remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be called a created being? In short, regardless of how God works, all His work is for the sake of man. It’s just like how the heavens and earth and all things were created by God to serve man: God made the moon, the sun, and the stars for man, He made the animals and plants for man, He made spring, summer, autumn and winter for man, and so on—all these were made for the sake of man’s existence. And so, regardless of how God chastises and judges man, it is all for the sake of man’s salvation. Even if He strips man of his fleshly hopes, it is still for the sake of purifying man, and the purification of man is done for the sake of man’s existence. The destination of man is in the hands of the Creator, so how could man control himself?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination). I listened to this hymn over and over again. As I pondered God’s words, I understood that God is sovereign over and has ordained every person’s destiny. No matter how hard you try or how much you struggle, you can’t change your future or destiny; still less can you change the destiny of others. I thought back to the first half of my life. I wanted to change my destiny by acquiring more knowledge, but later, the factory suffered losses and I became ill. I had no option but to resign. All this was really not up to me. I had taught my son by word and deed since he was young, hoping that he would go to university and become an official like I wanted him to. I struggled and sacrificed half a lifetime of blood, sweat, and tears to make this happen, but he didn’t do as I wanted, and in the end he never got his university degree. These facts gave me the realization that whether or not my son has a good future and destiny is not within my control. No matter how hard I struggle or how much I sacrifice, it is all in vain. Because I am just a tiny created being, God is sovereign over and ordains my fate and the fate of my son. I can’t even control my own destiny, yet I still wanted to control my son’s future and destiny. I was so ignorant and arrogant! The reason why I was in so much pain was that I had no understanding of God’s sovereignty at all, and couldn’t submit to it. When I understood this, I was willing to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements and stop complaining about my son. If he lives an ordinary life, then that is due to God’s sovereignty and ordination, and I should entrust him to God and let nature take its course.

Afterward I kept wondering: Why was I in so much pain when my son didn’t get a degree? Why did I attach so much importance to knowledge and degrees? What was the root cause of this? I read the words of God: “Some people think that knowledge is a precious thing in this world, and that the more knowledge they have, the greater their status and the more elite they are, the nobler and more cultured they are, so they cannot do without knowledge. Some people think, ‘If you do well in your studies and gain abundant knowledge then you’ll have it all. You’ll have status, money, a good job and good prospects; you’ve got to have knowledge in this world. If you have no knowledge, then everyone looks down on you. You’d be discriminated against, with no one willing to associate with you; those without knowledge can only live on the lowest rungs of society.’ And so, they really worship knowledge, valuing it highly and regarding it as extremely important—even more so than the truth. … however they look at it, this is one aspect of human thoughts and views. There is an ancient saying: ‘Read ten thousand books, travel ten thousand miles.’ What does this mean? It means that the more you read, the more knowledgeable and prosperous you’ll be, and no matter what group of people you’re in, you’ll be highly regarded, and you will have status. Everyone harbors these kinds of thoughts and views in their heart. If someone is unable to go to college and get a diploma because their family doesn’t have the means, it will be a lifelong regret for them, so they’ll make up their mind to ensure that their descendants study more, attend university and get advanced degrees, or even pursue further studies abroad. This is the thought and viewpoint everyone has regarding knowledge; everyone yearns to attain knowledge. Many parents, therefore, spare no effort or expense—even going so far as to drive the family bankrupt—to have their children educated and to pay for their studies. And what of the lengths some parents go to in disciplining their children? Permitting them only three hours of sleep a night, forcing them to learn and study continuously, or even making them emulate the ancients and tie their hair to the ceiling, denying them sleep altogether. These kinds of stories, these tragedies, have always happened from ancient times to the present, and they are the consequences of mankind’s thirst for and worship of knowledge” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Path of Practice Toward Changing One’s Disposition). God’s words touched my heart. I had been bound by satanic thoughts and ideas such as “Other pursuits are small, books excel them all,” “Read ten thousand books, travel ten thousand miles,” and “Knowledge can change your fate,” and particularly worshiped knowledge. I believed that knowledge would lead to a bright future, where you could be a superior person and be admired by others; only then would life be valuable. I believed that without knowledge or a degree, you would have to toil hard and live a life of inferiority, be looked down upon by others, and remain at the bottom of society your whole life, never able to get ahead. I believed that with knowledge, you could have everything, so I didn’t give up trying to gain knowledge, even after getting married and having a child. When I graduated from college and returned to the factory, I became an official immediately, and was then promoted step by step, entrusted with important roles. Before long, our family of three moved into a spacious apartment, and everyone who saw me looked at me with envy and greeted me proactively; the employees in the factory all respected me very much. I obtained the fame and gain I wanted, and I believed that all this was brought by the knowledge I acquired through hard study and the degree I obtained. Therefore, I became even more convinced that knowledge could change one’s destiny, and I hoped that my son would get a high degree and become successful and famous in the future, so I could bask in his reflected glory. When my son told me that he wanted to join the army, I didn’t ask him what he really thought. Instead, I just believed that there would be no future prospects for him after joining the army, so I forced him to go to university. To ensure that my son could attend university, I sold the apartment I had worked for half my life to buy. When I learned that my son didn’t pay his final year’s tuition and would not get a university degree, my hopes were utterly shattered, and I fell into complete despair. I just felt like ending it all. I had really been blinded by fame and gain! In fact, everyone’s destiny is in the hands of God, and cannot be changed just by acquiring knowledge. I thought of my neighbor, Section Chief Wang, who has little education but is now a section chief in the Personnel Bureau; on the other hand, a female schoolmate of mine was admitted to Peking University but couldn’t find a suitable job for many years after graduation. Nowadays, there are university graduates without jobs everywhere, and even many postgraduates cannot find formal jobs. It’s clear that the idea that “Knowledge can change your fate” is mistaken, and is completely untenable. It is contrary to the truth. Although I believed in God, I did not understand the truth and had no ability to discern. I regarded knowledge, fame and gain as more important than anything else, and had no idea at all that these are ways Satan seduces and devours people. Thanks to the exposure in God’s words, I finally came to my senses. I prayed to God silently in my heart, “Dear God, thank You for the supply and enlightenment of Your words, which enabled me to discern Satan’s thoughts and ideas. I don’t want to be bound by these thoughts and ideas anymore. May You lead me to take the path of pursuing the truth.”

Later, I read several more passages of God’s words and understood that behind people’s pursuit of fame and gain lies Satan’s sinister intention. Almighty God says: “Some people will say that learning knowledge is nothing more than reading books and learning some things that you do not already know so as not to lag behind the times or be left behind by the world. Knowledge is only learned in order to put food on your table, for your own future, or to provide the basic necessities. Is there any person who would endure a decade of hard study just for the basic necessities, just to resolve the issue of food? No, there are none like this. So why does a person suffer these hardships for all these years? It is for fame and gain. Fame and gain are waiting for them in the distance, beckoning them, and they believe that only through their own diligence, hardships and struggles can they step on the road that leads to fame and gain, thereby gaining these things. Such a person must suffer these hardships for their own future path, for their future enjoyment and to gain a better life” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique VI). “What does Satan use to keep man firmly within its control? (Fame and gain.) Satan uses fame and gain to control people’s thoughts, making them think of nothing but these two things, and getting them to struggle for fame and gain, suffer hardships for fame and gain, endure humiliation and bear heavy burdens for fame and gain, sacrifice everything they have for fame and gain, and make every judgment or decision for the sake of fame and gain. In this way, Satan places invisible shackles upon people, and, with these shackles upon them, they have neither the ability nor the courage to break free. Unknowingly, they bear these shackles as they trudge ahead step by step, with great difficulty. For the sake of this fame and gain, mankind strays from God and betrays Him, and becomes increasingly wicked. In this way, one generation after another is destroyed in the midst of Satan’s fame and gain. Looking now at Satan’s actions, are its insidious motives not utterly hateful? Maybe today you still cannot see through to Satan’s insidious motives because you think that without fame and gain, life would have no meaning, and people would no longer be able to see the way ahead, no longer be able to see their goals, and their futures would become dark, dim and gloomy. But, slowly, you will all one day recognize that fame and gain are massive shackles that Satan places upon man. When that day comes, you will thoroughly resist Satan’s control and thoroughly resist the shackles brought to you by Satan. When you wish to free yourself from all these things that Satan has instilled in you, you will then make a clean break with Satan, and you will truly hate all that Satan has brought to you. Only then will you have a real love and yearning for God” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique VI). God’s words are so practical. The reason behind people’s pursuit of knowledge is to obtain fame and gain. To obtain fame and gain, people work hard and suffer hardships and are even willing to pay any price for it. Satan uses knowledge to seduce people, and uses fame and gain to control them, so that they are corrupted by it without realizing it. I was exactly like this. My father taught me from childhood that mastering more knowledge would make me a superior person; without knowledge, I could only be an inferior person and do tough manual labor. The teachers also taught us to have lofty aspirations, and pursue standing above the rest and bringing honor to our ancestors. Before I knew it, I accepted these thoughts and ideas. In order to get fame, gain and status, I was willing to endure any hardship and pay any price. Not only did I pursue these things myself, but I also forced my son to pursue them. When I learned my son couldn’t get his degree, my dreams were suddenly shattered, and I was in so much agony that I even wanted to escape from it by dying. I had been controlled by ideas of pursuing fame and gain instilled in me by Satan. Not only did this bring great pain to me, it also harmed my son both mentally and physically. Satan put the invisible shackles of fame and gain on me, making me constantly fight and work hard for fame and gain. Despite being physically and mentally exhausted, I had no ability to break free from this. Thanks to God’s salvation for me, I gained some discernment of Satan’s methods of harming people. I could no longer pursue fame and gain. I had to stand properly in my position as a created being and submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements.

Later, I told my sister about my state, and she looked up a passage of God’s words for me: “First of all, let’s look at these requirements and approaches that parents have toward their children—are they right or wrong? (They’re wrong.) So, ultimately, what is the main culprit when it comes to these approaches parents take toward their children? Isn’t it the parents’ expectations for their children? (Yes.) Within the subjective consciousness of parents, they have all kinds of presumptions, plans, and determinations about their children’s futures, and as a result, they develop these expectations. … These parents are placing expectations on their children entirely according to their own preferences and desires. Isn’t this subjective? (Yes.) Saying it’s subjective is putting it nicely—what is it really? What is another interpretation of this subjectivity? Is it not selfishness? Isn’t it coercion? (It is.) You like a certain occupation, you would like to be an official, to get rich, to be glamorous and successful in society, so you make your children also seek to be such a person and walk such a path. But it’s hard to say whether they will be able to do that job in the future, or whether that job really suits them. And what exactly is their destiny, then? How will God hold sovereignty over them and make arrangements for them? Do you know these things? Some people say: ‘I don’t care about those things. As long as it’s something that I, as a parent, like, then it’s fine. Since I like it, I place expectations of this sort on them.’ Isn’t that too selfish? (It is.) To put it nicely, it’s very subjective, it’s only listening to oneself, but what is it, in reality? It is very selfish! These parents don’t consider their children’s caliber or talents, and they don’t care about the arrangements that God has for each person’s destiny and life. They don’t consider these things, they just force their own preferences and plans onto their children out of wishful thinking” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (18)). After reading God’s words, I suddenly came to my senses. In the past, I had thought that everything I did was for the sake of my son’s future and destiny. Through the exposure in God’s words, I finally understood that the intention behind my actions was always to sate my desire for fame, gain, and status. Because I liked power and status and wanted to be an official so that others would look up to me, I imposed my own preferences and desires on my son. I hoped that he would study hard and stand out in the future, getting a high official position and a good salary so I could bask in his reflected glory. Everything I had done was for the sake of my own ambitions and desires, and I hadn’t considered my son’s preferences and wishes at all. When my son said he didn’t want to go to university and wanted to join the army, I did my best to persuade him out of it, and forced him to go to university against his wishes. My goal in this was to make him pursue an official career and obtain power and status so that I would gain prestige as well. On the surface, everything I did was for the sake of my son’s future and destiny. I gave my all to cultivate my son. However, in essence, this was all to satisfy my own desire for status, wanting to enjoy the respect and admiration of more people through my son, and enjoy a better material life. I finally saw clearly that everything I had done was not for my son’s good at all. It was all to satisfy my own ambitions and desires. My nature was too selfish, vile and ugly! My son actually didn’t want to pursue a career in government. He once said to me, “Mom, I am simply not cut out to be an official. If you want to gain a foothold in officialdom in this society, you have to be able to wine, dine, flatter, and deceive. You also need the right family background and connections, and to be cruel and nasty. I don’t have any of these. It’s good to just be an ordinary person.” Thinking back, what my son said was very true. I thought of my eldest sister’s son, who is the deputy director of the Bureau of Industry and Commerce. He once said to me, “Once you enter officialdom, you aren’t in control of yourself any longer. People scheme and plot against each other, and you can’t tell anyone what’s on your mind or get too close to them. You don’t know what you might say that will offend someone. You might not want to harm others, but they will still stab you in the back. You have to live your life with one eye on people’s expressions. Life in officialdom is exhausting!” Becoming an official is not a good thing. Officialdom is like a big dyeing tank, and if my son had gone in there as I wanted him to, then after a decade or so he would have been stained with all kinds of bad habits despite himself. He would have become slippery and deceitful, pursued fame and gain, competed with others, and might even have done some evil things. Then, he would not be able to lead a normal and peaceful life anymore. That would cause him huge harm and endless pain in body and mind. My son didn’t want to be an official, and just wanted to be an ordinary person. Isn’t that a good thing? Now he has a formal job, and his monthly salary can basically cover his family’s living costs. He does not oppose my belief in God and is very willing to lend a hand when the church needs his help with things. That’s already great.

After this experience, I increasingly realize that God is sovereign over and ordains what kind of work each person does and how they make a living. As God says: “God has preordained that someone will be an ordinary worker, and in this life, he will only be able to earn some basic wages to feed and clothe himself, but his parents insist on him becoming a celebrity, a wealthy person, a high-ranking official, planning and arranging things for his future before he reaches adulthood, paying various kinds of so-called prices, attempting to control his life and future. Isn’t that stupid? (It is.)” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (18)). This passage of God’s words made me realize that I was not merely foolish: I was completely and utterly idiotic! All the suffering I had endured was my own fault. When I let go of my expectations for my son, stopped fighting against destiny, stopped walking the path of pursuing fame and gain, and was able to stand in the position of a created being and accept, face, and experience God’s sovereignty with a positive and submissive attitude, I saw that God’s arrangements are wonderful. Thank God!