By Lin Feng, China

I work as a preacher in the church and am responsible for the work of several churches. One night in January 2024, Sister Liu Min forwarded me a document about expelling the Judas Zhang and told me, “Zhang sold out many leaders and workers after she was arrested. She sold you out as well. You have to be careful.” I felt somewhat nervous and thought, “Zhang sold me out, so now I’ve become a target, pursued by the CCP. I might get arrested someday, so I really have to be careful!” One day in April, I received another letter from a co-worker, which said, “After being arrested, Yu turned Judas and sold you out, but I don’t know if she identified your photograph. You have to be careful.” When I heard this, I became even more worried, and thought, “If the CCP police have my photo and even ask a Judas to identify me, then I’m in a really dangerous situation! Now there are high-definition cameras everywhere, as well as drone surveillance. I’ll be monitored wherever I go, and it’s just a matter of time before I get arrested! When the police catch leaders and workers, they persecute them to the point of death. If I get arrested and can’t stand up to torture, turning Judas or being beaten to death, then won’t my belief have been in vain?” The more I thought about it, the more scared I became. I felt that being a leader or worker was too dangerous. At that time, the gospel work in the churches that I was responsible for was not bearing results. I wanted to go and find out why the work was not yielding results, but then I thought about how I was being pursued by the CCP, and the environments of the churches I was responsible for were not good. If I were spotted by the CCP police on my way there, I could be arrested at any time. When I thought about this, I didn’t dare go. At that time, many brothers and sisters lived in fear and timidity, and were passive in doing their duties. In particular, the gospel work showed no improvement. Although I kept writing letters to follow up on the work, there was not much progress.

One evening, I received a letter from the upper leaders. It said, “The gospel work in some churches is not yielding any results. As a preacher, you should go to the churches to understand the situation in person, discover problems, and resolve them.” When I read this, I felt a little resistant, and thought, “All of the churches I’m responsible for are in bad environments. It’s a bit too dangerous for me to go there and follow up on the work. Besides, arresting leaders and workers is the CCP’s main goal. If I get arrested, I might even lose my life. I’d better not go anywhere. I should just hide away and write letters to follow up on the work. That way it’ll be safer.” When I thought this, I felt unsettled inside. The gospel work in the churches I was responsible for had basically stagnated, and I needed to go there immediately to resolve it. But I was afraid of getting caught, so I didn’t dare to go. I didn’t know what to do. I lived in worry and anxiety. The next day, I received another letter from the upper leaders. It said, “The churches you are responsible for have made slow progress in the various items of work. The brothers and sisters are living in timidity and are very passive in doing their duties. You should go and take a look.” After reading the letter from the leaders, I knew I should go to the churches and actually resolve the problems. But I then thought about how some time ago, a leader was beaten to death by the police three days after being arrested, and I grew timid inside. I even wanted to do an ordinary duty where I wouldn’t have to take such a big risk. I realized that my state was wrong, and searched for words of God to resolve it.

During my morning devotionals, I read a passage of God’s words cited in an experiential testimony video, which was very helpful to me. Almighty God says: “When people are unable to see through to, understand, accept, or submit to the environments that God orchestrates and His sovereignty, and when people face various difficulties in their daily lives, or when these difficulties exceed what normal people can bear, they subconsciously feel all kinds of worry and anxiety, and even distress. They don’t know what tomorrow will be like, or the day after, or what their future will be like, and so they feel distressed, anxious, and worried about all manner of things. What is the context that gives rise to these negative emotions? It is that they don’t believe in the sovereignty of God—that is, they are unable to believe in and see through to God’s sovereignty and have no genuine faith in God in their hearts. Even when they see the facts of God’s sovereignty with their own eyes, they don’t understand it or believe it. They don’t believe that God holds sovereignty over their fate, they don’t believe that their entire lives are in God’s hands, and so distrust arises in their hearts toward God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and then complaints arise, and they are unable to submit” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (3)). “If people pursue the truth, they won’t get caught up in these difficulties and sink into the negative emotions of distress, anxiety, and worry. Conversely, if they don’t pursue the truth, these difficulties will entangle them so that they’re unable to escape, and if they’re not able to resolve them, they will ultimately become negative emotions that tie themselves into knots in their innermost hearts, affecting their normal lives and normal performance of duty, which will all make them feel oppressed and unable to find release—this is the outcome they will have on people” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (3)). From God’s words I understood that my fear of being arrested and beaten to death was actually due to not understanding God’s almightiness and sovereignty: I didn’t believe that everything was under God’s sovereignty. Because I had been sold out by a Judas and was now a target of the CCP, I was afraid that if I got arrested and couldn’t endure the torture, turning Judas or being beaten to death, I’d lose my chance to be saved. So I didn’t dare go to the churches to resolve the problems. I was unwilling to submit to the environment that God had orchestrated for me. I even complained that doing the duties of leaders and workers was too dangerous, and wanted to do an ordinary duty that didn’t involve any great risks. I showed no loyalty or submission to God at all!

I then read more of God’s words and gained some understanding of my state. Almighty God says: “Besides considering their own safety, what do certain antichrists also think about? They say, ‘Right now, our environment is unfavorable, so let’s show our faces less and preach the gospel less. That way, we’re less likely to be caught, and the church’s work won’t be destroyed. If we avoid getting caught, we won’t turn Judas, and then we’ll be able to remain in the future, won’t we?’ Aren’t there antichrists who use such excuses to mislead their brothers and sisters? Some antichrists are very afraid of death and drag out ignoble existences; they also like reputation and status, and are willing to take on leadership roles. Even though they know that, ‘The work of a leader isn’t easy to shoulder—if the great red dragon finds out that I’ve been made a leader, I’ll become famous, and I might get put on a wanted list, and as soon as I’m caught my life will be in danger,’ for the sake of indulging in the benefits of this status, they disregard these dangers. When they serve as leaders, they only indulge in their fleshly enjoyment, and they do not engage in actual work. Apart from engaging in a bit of correspondence with various churches, they don’t do anything else. They hide in some place and don’t meet with anyone, keeping themselves sealed away, and the brothers and sisters don’t know who their leader is—that is the degree to which they are afraid. So, isn’t it correct to say that they are leaders in name only? (Yes.) They don’t engage in any actual work as leaders; they only care about hiding themselves. When others ask them, ‘How is it being a leader?’ they will say, ‘I’m incredibly busy, and for the sake of safety, I have to keep moving house. This environment is so unsettling that I can’t focus on my work.’ They always feel like many eyes are watching them, and don’t know where’s safe to hide. Apart from wearing disguises, hiding themselves in different places, and not staying in one location, they don’t do any actual work every day. Do such leaders exist? (Yes.) What principles do they follow? These people say, ‘A crafty rabbit has three burrows. In order for a rabbit to guard against a predator’s attack, it has to prepare three burrows to hide itself in. If a person encounters danger and has to escape, but they have nowhere to hide, is that acceptable? We must learn from rabbits! God’s created animals have this survival ability, and people should learn from them.’ Since taking on leadership roles, they have come to realize this doctrine, and even believe that they have understood the truth. In reality, they are terribly frightened. As soon as they hear about a leader who got reported to the police because the place they lived in was unsafe, or about a leader who was targeted by the great red dragon’s spies because they went out too often to do their duty and interacted with too many people, and how these people ended up getting arrested and sentenced, they immediately become frightened. They think, ‘Oh no, will I be the next one to be arrested? I must learn from this. I shouldn’t be too active. If I can avoid doing some of the church’s work, I won’t do it. If I can avoid showing my face, I won’t do it. I’ll minimize my work as much as possible, avoid going out, avoid interacting with anyone, and ensure that nobody knows I’m a leader. These days, who can afford to care about anyone else? Just staying alive is already a challenge!’ Since taking on the role of a leader, apart from carrying a bag and hiding, they don’t do any work. They live on tenterhooks, in constant fear of being caught and sentenced. Suppose that they hear someone say, ‘If you get caught, you’ll be killed! If you weren’t a leader, if you were just an ordinary believer, you might be let out after just paying a little fine, but since you’re a leader, it’s hard to say. It’s too dangerous! Some leaders or workers who got caught preferred to die rather than give up any information and were beaten to death by the police.’ Once they hear about someone being beaten to death, their fear intensifies, and they become even more afraid to work. Every day, all they think about is how to avoid getting caught, how to avoid showing their faces, how to avoid being monitored, and how to avoid contact with their brothers and sisters. They rack their brains thinking about these things and completely forget about their duties. Are these loyal people? Can people like this handle any work? (No, they can’t.)” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Two)). God exposes that antichrists are only concerned with protecting themselves when danger arises. They only keep themselves out of harm’s way, and don’t think about the church’s interests at all. Their nature is selfish and despicable. I realized that my own behavior was just as selfish as that of an antichrist. I was well aware that the various items of work in the churches I was responsible for were progressing slowly, and that the brothers and sisters were living in fear and timidity. Merely writing letters to follow up couldn’t achieve any results at all. I had to immediately go to the churches and resolve these problems. But I didn’t dare to go because I was afraid of being arrested, and I even complained that the duties of leaders and workers were too dangerous. In particular, when I thought of how, a while ago, a leader had been beaten to death by the police three days after being arrested, I became even more afraid of being arrested; I didn’t want to go to the churches to resolve these problems, and even wanted to do a duty that didn’t involve taking any risks. As a leader, I failed to protect the work of the church at the critical moment, and gave no thought to my own duty and responsibilities, showing no loyalty or submission to God at all. God had exalted me to do the duty of a leader; I should have done the work of the church well and safeguarded the interests of God’s house. But instead, in order to protect myself, I hid away, clinging shamefully to my own life. At the critical moment, I didn’t care whether the brothers and sisters lived or died, paid no mind to the interests of the church, and was not devoted to my duty at all. The work of these churches was at a standstill, and I had already left transgressions in my wake by delaying the work. If I didn’t promptly repent, then even if I managed to hide and avoid arrest, I would not have fulfilled my duty or responsibilities. That would be a betrayal of God, and in the end, I would be eliminated and punished by God just like an antichrist.

Later, I read a few more passages of God’s words, which gave me faith and strength. God says: “Those in power may seem vicious from the outside, but do not be afraid, for this is because you have little faith. As long as your faith grows, everything will be easy. Cheer and jump to your hearts’ content! Everything is beneath your feet and in My grasp. Is accomplishment or destruction not decided by one word of Mine?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 75). “You should not be afraid of this and that; no matter how many difficulties and dangers you might face, you should be able to remain steady before Me, unobstructed by any hindrance, so that My will may be carried out unimpeded. This is your duty…. You must endure all; for Me, you must be ready to forsake everything and follow Me with all your might, and be ready to pay any price. Now is the time that I test you: Will you offer your loyalty to Me? Can you loyally follow Me to the end of the road? Be not afraid; with Me as your support, who could ever block this road?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 10). That’s right. With God’s support, what did I have to fear? However rampant and vicious the great red dragon may be, it is within God’s sovereignty. It is a service object in God’s hands. Without God’s permission, the police would not be able to arrest me even if I were right under their very noses. Looking back on the years I have followed God, there have been many times when danger came upon me and I almost got arrested. It was God’s wonderful protection that delivered me from danger each and every time. For example, one evening in 2020, two people inspected the house we were renting. Because there were risks to my safety and I couldn’t show them my ID card, they were going to report us. One of the men said to me fiercely, “Just wait, I’ll go and call the police to arrest you right now!” After saying that, he walked out. My sisters and I seized the opportunity and left quickly. The next morning, ten policemen went to the house. They couldn’t arrest us, so they arrested our nonbelieving landlord instead. I saw that whether I would be arrested or not was up to God. Just as God says: “Without God’s permission, Satan cannot easily touch even a drop of water or a grain of sand upon the land; without God’s permission, Satan cannot even mess with the ants upon the land, let alone mankind, who was created by God” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I). If God allowed me to be arrested, this would be with His good intention, and I should submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, standing firm in my testimony to God.

I read another passage of God’s words, and gained a much clearer perspective on death. Almighty God says: “How did those disciples of the Lord Jesus die? Among the disciples, there were those who were stoned, dragged behind a horse, crucified upside down, dismembered by five horses—various forms of death befell them. What was the reason for their deaths? Is it that they engaged in some wrongdoing and were then executed by the law? No. They propagated the Lord’s gospel, but the people of the world did not accept it, and instead condemned, beat, and reviled them, and even put them to death—that is how they were martyred. … Actually, this was how their bodies died and passed away; this was their manner of departure from the human world, yet that did not mean their outcome was the same. No matter what the manner of their death and departure was or how it happened, it was not how God determined the final outcomes of those lives, of those created beings. This is something you must see clearly. On the contrary, this was precisely the manner by which they condemned this world and bore witness to God’s deeds. These created beings used their most precious lives—they used the last moment of their lives to bear witness to God’s deeds, to bear witness to God’s great power, and to declare to Satan and the world that God’s deeds are right, that the Lord Jesus is God, that He is the Lord, and God’s incarnate flesh. Even down to the final moment of their lives, they never denied the name of the Lord Jesus. Was this not a form of judgment upon this world? They used their lives to proclaim to the world, to prove to human beings that the Lord Jesus is the Lord, that the Lord Jesus is Christ, that He is God’s incarnate flesh, that the work of redeeming all of mankind He did allows this mankind to live on—this fact is forever unchanging. To what extent did those who were martyred for propagating the gospel of the Lord Jesus perform their duty? Was it to the ultimate extent? How was the ultimate extent manifested? (They offered their lives.) That’s right, they paid the price with their lives” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Preaching the Gospel Is the Duty All Believers Are Bound to Fulfill). God’s words make the meaning of death very clear. The disciples of the Lord Jesus were martyred for propagating the gospel of the Lord. Some were killed by the sword, some were hanged, and some were crucified. They used their lives to bear a beautiful and resounding testimony for God and humiliated Satan. Their deaths were meaningful and valuable, approved of by God. Although their flesh died, this was not true death: Their souls have returned to God. In God’s work of the last days, many brothers and sisters have also borne testimony of triumphing over Satan. After they were arrested, no matter how the police tortured them, they would rather die than betray God or turn Judas. However, I was afraid of being beaten to death before I had even been arrested, and, like a turtle hiding in its shell, I didn’t dare to do my duty. Where was the testimony in that? The more I thought about it, the more regret and self-reproach I felt. I felt too ashamed to show my face, and I hated myself for being so selfish, despicable, and lacking in humanity. I prayed to God, “Dear God, to preserve myself, I have been trying to save my own skin—I am living a pathetic life and showing no loyalty or submission to You. You have the final say on whether I will be arrested or not. I am willing to entrust myself completely to Your hands and no longer be constrained by fear of death. I am willing to go to the churches to actually solve problems and fulfill my duties.” After praying, I felt much more at ease and relaxed.

Afterward, I went to a church. Through my inquiries, I found that the church leaders were afraid that their brothers and sisters would be arrested for preaching the gospel and that they would be held responsible, so they were very passive in following up on the work. We ate, drank, and fellowshipped God’s words in response to this state. The church leaders came to understand that their fear of taking responsibility and their failure to do real work stemmed from being controlled by their selfish and despicable satanic dispositions, and they were willing to turn things around. After that, they began to meet with the team leaders, deacons, and gospel workers, to fellowship about and resolve the problems in the gospel work. We worked together and the work of the church gradually showed signs of improvement. From the bottom of my heart, I thank Almighty God for revealing and saving me!